How to Tell If She Doesn't Like You (40+ Texting Signs)
The Art of Texting
When someone likes you, regardless of gender, they'll leave telling signs in their text messages. Most girls try to be friendly, of course, but if a girl’s friendliness seems excessive, and it seems as if she really wants to spend time with you, then she might have a pretty solid thing for you! However, if this enthusiasm is absent, then a girl might not think of you as much more than wallpaper. The number one key, as I will point out several times, is the quantity of communication. If there is a lot of texting going back and forth between two parties, that’s a great sign.
The following is a list of fairly clear signs that a girl is not interested in you through her means of text communication. Not every person on the planet is into text messaging or is text-savvy. Some people honestly hate it, but on the whole, I think girls enjoy it more than boys. Women tend to use more words when communicating than men, so if she's talking a little more than you are, that's okay. It's pretty normal. If there’s a huge difference between how much each person is texting, however, that is not so good a sign. There needs to be some amount of dancing with words from both sides. Reciprocity means both people will be speaking as well as listening.
The following tips are divided into three categories:
- Totally Not Interested
- Friend Zone
- Booty Call
This will help you figure out if you're better off not contacting the girl at all, staying friends, or if she wants you for your body but doesn't want a relationship.
What are the best flirty text messages?
Totally Not Interested
These are signs that the girl you're texting isn't interested in spending time with you, but might be too polite to say so directly. If these describe the texts you're receiving, I recommend you stop texting her entirely and move on.
- There is little to no response and also the communication isn't super enthused.
- She sends you a message to stop texting her . . . entirely, forever.
- She doesn't ask questions to keep the conversation rolling.
- She never invites you to see her in person or with friends.
- She doesn't know who you are when you text her.
- She never compliments you.
- She never initiates sending you a text.
- She does not respond to you, or responds several days later.
- She always is too busy, doesn't have time for you, won't make time for you, and never lets you know when she will be free. If she doesn't give you the when, that is how you know she isn't putting any effort.
- She is too distracted by all the things she needs done in her life, therefore her texts messages are only shallow and she doesn't seem interested in dating right now, and probably not for a while.
- Not only does she take ages to respond back to you, but her response isn't very charming but sounds like she's been rolling around in the grass, staring at a wall, or been in bed for ten days.
- She gives back negative texts saying you are being really weird, etc.
- She never calls, would never take a phone call from you, etc. If you've never met her in person, this could be dangerous.
- Her texts all sound fabricated, as if copy and pasted from the Internet, like a machine.
- She doesn't direct you to a different form of communication if texting isn't her cup of tea. A girl who likes you will find another means of communication.
- She does not give you her new phone number when she gets a new phone number.
- If she only texts you one-word responses.
If the following list applies to your text messages, the girl probably likes you as a friend but just doesn't see you as anything more. You'd be better off staying friends but looking for love elsewhere. She might even have friends she could set you up with.
- She is already in a committed relationship. She probably won't want to flirt on the side unless she doesn't care about her relationship.
- She never sends a text message randomly that's intended to be fun, funny, flirty, or happy. She only texts for business or school-related assignments.
- She inquires more about one of your friends than you.
- You probably won't witness this, but a lot of girls, if they like someone, will give them a different ring tone or text tone to separate it from the rest of the herd.
- She tries to set you up with one of her friends.
- She only texts you group texts to invite you to parties.
- She clearly is on her phone all the time and still hardly texts you.
- She avoids being cutesy, such as sending photos or using lots of emojis and exclamation marks!
- She only texts you to get rides across town.
- She never texts to see anything about you, she's only interested in blabbing about herself.
- She isn't charming to you in person at all, only through text.
- She has no manners in her texting skills.
- She doesn't care to check her grammar, spelling, punctuation, or any of that stuff. She is by no means trying to impress you.
- If in a group situation, if you texted her she may end up having someone else call you to coordinate.
- When a girl likes someone, she will divulge a lot of information because she is excited. If you are only getting texts with a handful of words, that is not a good sign. If she sends you a novel, no matter the content, she obviously has some amount of feelings.
- She only uses texts messages to complain.
- She can literally not be bothered or encouraged to send happy, positive messages.
If these signs ring true, the girl is probably attracted to you and wants to hook up, but isn't looking for a relationship. If you think you can keep it casual, go for it! But if you want a real relationship, that could be bad news, and you might want to back off before you get hurt.
- She only texts you when she is drunk.
- She only texts late at night, just the same for men.
- She doesn't send random texts to check up on you, to see how you did on a test, to see if you got the job promotion, to see if you are free, to see if you like hanging out with her, etc.
- She texts more as a booty call, which is probably done to more than one person.
- All conversations with her are short, maybe two to three exchanges, with a handful of words.
- She never sends random pictures, videos, links, etc.
- She never texts you about anything important in her life.
- Her texts have no fluff.
- She never texts you about things she likes whether unicorns, movies, the color blue, her favorite band, etc.
- She gives little to no response if you tell her exciting or upsetting news.
- She never sends a happy holiday anything text.
- If she never sends a text to try to get a laugh out of you.
At the end of the day, try not to analyze so much. When you know something clicks, it clicks—and there should be a consistency to it. Try not to put so much expectation on these things and blow them out of proportion. Just relax, don't be too nosy, and don't be too pushy. There's a certain flow to text messages, almost like dancing, that makes them feel happy instead of painful. Consider at all costs whether you are sending painful, awkward messages, or inviting fun ones. Life is too short to send crappy text messages. If you project positivity, you are more likely to have it come back to you.
Never whine to someone if they don't text the way you want. Ease them into what you would like and keep your manners at all times. Just because someone is frankly an idiot about texting, doesn't mean that you have to be. Be polite, have good manners, be charming, and you are more than likely to catch someone.
You know that being a bachelor can only keep its appeal for so long, so learn the art of being a decent person, and how to be a decent texter. There are only so many good texters out there in the world, so good luck finding your match.
So, What Do You Think?
Does She Like Me?
Questions & Answers
I have this girl who I love, but she says she doesn't love me. We have been texting every day for three years, what do I do?
If texting every day is making you have romantic feelings, and it is not being reciprocated, stop texting every day. Try having conversations with other people. If she asks why you're not texting as much, say that every day was too intense, and you would only do that if someone wanted to be romantically invested with you. You deserve someone who is in love with you. She may like all the attention from the texts, but that can be really misleading for you.Helpful 74
What if the girl seems shy?
Try hanging out with her more to see if she comes out of her shell. Calling her shy would probably offend her.Helpful 55
© 2014 Andrea Lawrence