I'm a Midwesterner with a background in writing and media. My articles are mainly about relationships, dating, and heartbreak.
Isn't it the worst when you're on pins and needles waiting for someone to ask you out? I think it's harder for women to come right out and say they like someone. Usually we want men to ask us out because it shows he's got guts and a plan and can handle this emotional stuff. It takes a little bit of the power out when you ask him out yourself. Sometimes it's what you got to do. Let it naturally come up. You may naturally ask someone out without even realizing it. I think what helps is to not focus on it so much. That can be distracting and pull you out of interacting with who you like.
Signs He Wants to Ask You Out
1. He Gets Your Phone Number
Maybe the two of you have been meeting up at the same place for months. He's probably wanted to add you on Facebook or get your number in some discreet way, but it's not always easy. If you just moved or started taking classes at an unfamiliar place, no one may have mutual friends with you. He doesn't know your last name. He doesn't want to creep you out; he wants to get your contact information so he can talk to you outside of the normal event you two frequent. If, shortly after getting your contact information, he sends you a message, it means that he definitely wants you to see him in a positive light. Consider what kind of messages he sends you, the time of day, and how frequent. Do you start to be the only on who initiates? That's a bad sign. He shouldn't always initiate, either. Unless he has confidence like no other, it's kind of cruel to never initiate. Is he adding emoticons before you even do? He definitely has some sort of intentions.
2. He Wants to Know Your Schedule
Before inviting you to anything, he'll want to lock down your schedule. He wants a quick yes. He doesn't want a long, complicated answer. That's too much for anyone's nerves. He doesn't want to be rejected just because of your schedule. He wants a clear yes. That makes life a lot more simple. He also wants to know what kind of things you do, what's your job situation like, if you're too busy, if you're seeing anyone seriously, and if you're doing anything cool that he may want to do, too. Also, this preps your brain to be thinking of schedules, too. If you're thinking about what you're doing, it clues you in to what you could be doing . . . with him.
3. He Touches You
He consistently is giving you signals with his body language. Does he hug you? Does he suddenly feel awkward around you? Maybe he'll move your hair behind your ear. Maybe he'll stare at you for too long, or will overt his eyes quickly. Humans touch what they like. If he likes you, his eyes and hands will probably follow. Is he complimenting you a lot on top of that? Maybe every time you see him, he's prepared to give a compliment. Try to reciprocate his body language, throw back some compliments when you can, and smile. If he thinks you'll take it well, he'll continue doing these things you like. If you're not into it, let him know. Don't keep encouraging it if you already know you could care less.
4. He Makes Eye Contact
He'll look at you. He'll even tell you sometimes that he was watching you. His eyes are drawn to you, and you'll catch him staring at you. Try staring back. Give him eye contact back. Guys will let you know they're interested in you with their eye gestures. Sometimes they may smile back, other times they may just look like a deer with their eyes in the headlights.
5. He Jokes About Dating You
Maybe he jokes about what it would be like to be married to you, maybe he jokes about you as his girlfriend to his friend. It may be sarcastic, but that sarcasm may be a cover up that he actually would want to date you. He may compliment how the two of you make a great team, he may say "if we ever get to the point where we are dating," he may say you remind him of an ex. If you like him back, you may want to tease him about your "pretend" romance too.
6. He Brings You Gifts
He starts bringing you food from the vending machine, he orders you food, he brings you something back from his travels, or he just brings you whatever reminds him of you. He wants to see if it brings you a smile, he wants to connect with you. He wants you to know he's on your side. This could be just a friendly gesture, so don't get too crazy if he brings you cookies.
7. He Messages You "Good Morning"
When a guy messages you throughout the day with good morning, good afternoon, and good night—he has one goal. He wants you to think of him. He wants to be your first thought of the day. He wants to communicate with you the whole day. He's opening up conversation to that level just with a simple "good morning." It's pretty simple, but pretty clever. The message in and of itself isn't that flirty, but it helps open up the day for more flirtatious of possibilities. Which is incredibly endearing.
8. He Lingers
Maybe it's the end of a long meeting, a class, or a movie. But he'll linger a little bit. He wants to talk to you, and he probably would like for it to go somewhere. The problem is that a lot of times when these things end, it can be terrible to figure out what to talk about and there's a lot of gravity for most people to just go home. There's a lot of pressure and opportunity here. He might not want to say goodbye when he knows that then there's several hours before he can see you again, and that sucks.
9. He Honks His Car at You
Yes, cat calling is wrong, but this is something different. You'll be walking down the street when suddenly someone is honking at you like crazy. For whatever reason, when a guy likes you and he suddenly sees you walking down the street like an epiphany, he'll honk at you like it's the greatest moment in his entire life. He'll keep honking till you look at him, which is exciting for him because you'll most likely be surprised and flash him a big smile or say hello. If you are walking down the street and a guy does this to you, he totally is smitten. In fact, he might not have known he was this smitten until this moment happened and hit him square in the face. He probably hopes you'll run to his car and just get inside—but you're more mature than that. You'll play it off coy, sweet, and charming.
10. He Gets Weirdly Emotional Around You
Everyone is saying goodbye, there's an odd mist in the air, and he's giving you a look like you've never seen on his face. He's preparing to say it, and may even say, "I've wanted to say this for a long time." Hopefully, he'll spit it out after that, otherwise a number of things may happen or interrupt him and completely throw him off balance. He's trying to get the words out, but there's some truth to things tend to speed up right at the moment you try to say these things. His whole demeanor will change, and you'll definitely pick up that he likes you, but it may mystify you in the moment.
Softball Mockingjay on December 08, 2019:
So I’ve liked my best friend way before we were best friends and he likes me too I think. Something happened at camp one year with my other best friend (both guys) and apparently he started liking me. After camp I got my best friend C’s number and we’ve been texting almost non stop all throughout Summer. One day I got so curious as to ask him who he likes and he said me. I liked him too and since then we’ve been “dating”. But at a retreat not too long ago I saw my best friend A again (don’t get to see him very often) and I had mixed feelings. I still liked him while liking C. Fast forward to the next evening and C told me that he and A agreed not to do anything with me (like date) cause they are friends too and I feel like I’m losing their friendships (they mean a lot to me). It’s truly a mess. About a week ago my other guy friend B told me he’s had a minor crush on me for four months and asked me out. I decided, if the guys agreed not to date me, then I can let them go, let them be them and date B. But yet again something else went wrong. B told his mom and she said we can’t date because he needs to focus on his studies which I totally understand. My question is, what can I do with this hot mess? Should I just be friends with them and let them go? Should I talk to A and C about my feelings? I just don’t know. Please help
PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEE (i'm back!) on December 05, 2019:
So The same guy as before is acting strange but yesterday he completely ignored me and today him and his brother kept staring at me! He gave me all the signs but idk what's wrong! Did I do something?
Is that kinda a sign?What should I do? All my friends think he likes me!
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on December 04, 2019:
He is hitting on you and seeing if you'll take the bait.
Someone on December 02, 2019:
So there's this boy I know and he looks at me a lot and today after class I found this little note on my desk that said " I'm single so..." with a grimacing face emoji. I think 70% out of 100 he put it there! Can someone please help me figure this out!
PLEASE HELP MEEEEEE on November 20, 2019:
So there's this guy at my school and I like him. All my friends think he likes me!!!!He's in my class and sits behind me and we talk a lot. He shows all the signs and more. He rides my bus too and today he sat 2 seats behind me and then out of nowhere changes seats and sits next to me!!!!! He kept staring at me and then his brother came and sat next to him. it sounded like they were trying to be cool. I heard him say to his brother "....Right nowwww?" then they looked at me. Also Earlier today he was sitting down at a table and had his backpack on his lap and it was pretty much covering his face and was sneakily staring at me. I told my friends and they were like "OOOOoooooo" Also I feel like he's stalking me kinda because i now see him almost everywhere. Do you think he likes me?
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on August 02, 2019:
Just ask him casually to something like dinner or coffee and see where it goes from there. Take out the formal part of "asking someone out" and be yourself.
UNknown on July 31, 2019:
Ok so, My Friend also likes my Crush but he hangs out with me and I want to go out with him How do I do it? do I straight up ask him or do I let him do it. Please help me?
Kathryn on April 03, 2019:
Ok here’s the thing my crush always stares and smiles at me, he deliberately moves chairs or tables so he can see me, at lunch he was walking and he saw my best friend and stopped and looked over looking for me but when he noticed I wasn’t there he left. He is always around me somehow,his friends keep friending and inviting me to things like hang out or talk,he knows I like him because I sent him a letter two months ago but he hasn’t said anything to me, he told my friends oh ok when he received it from them and when he opened the letter with his friends he looked so happy but my friend Eric said he looked sad but I don’t believe him since he wasn’t even there and he doesn’t know him, I do because we are friends.It seems like he wants to talk to me because he gets so close to me but backs away idk if that’s him giving me hints that he feels the same way because I told him to give me hints or tell me if he feels the same way. He stares at me and when I catch him he just stares and smiles at me. Does he like me? What should I do? We are friends but ever since that letter I have been kind of avoiding him because I am embarrassed ,he looks sad. Because I am not talking to him. Plz tell me as quick as possible
Lifelover on October 26, 2018:
So basically I really like this guy and think he likes me back.
We've texted for hours on end about almost everything( including personal information). He has really been emphatising with me everytime I tell him something personal.
I have made it quite obvious that I like him as well. He has pretty much indirectly said that he likes me too(well by saying that he won't mind making me feel special and all). But I have been so distracted thinking about all this during the most important year of my life i.e preparing for college... So I am really confused as to how to go about the situation! Should I ask him out, will he ask me out before I do or should I completely forget about everything that has happened for the time being(it is pretty hard to stop getting distracted I must say)?
Eimy Sanchez on September 28, 2018:
Ok, I got this fourtune in this fourtune cookie . And it said You and your crush will marry.I was like WHAT?! The HECK ! Then the next day he was like uh uhh uh ...And he told me he got the same fourtune. So we were quiet “
Beth on September 26, 2018:
There’s this guy and I’ve liked him since 2nd grade now I’m in 8th and he has done does things like what the person wrote through the years gone by ...Now I’m SAD cause he ain’t in the same class as me anymore . So I told a friend _.that I liked him and she told me her crush so now I’m thinking on giving him hints I like him . There is this other friend also and she is trying to guess who?i like...so ima say did (FRIENDS NAME who knows)
tell you who I have a crush on?in order for it to work one friend you can trust and another friend who is in a different class guessing who? and your crush is in her class you tell ( guessing friend)Did friend who knows tell you ? You have have to say it kinda near him so he can hear . And if she says no . Than you say GOOD! He can’t ! Find out cause if he does than ima EXPOSE HERS!!! And especially that he is in your class. And next say and hint it’s not example Now let’s GO .So ye ...you guys can also try to give him hints too! And yes this you may copy ! GOOD LUCK!
Rachel on August 30, 2018:
Ok I have had a crush on my best friend for like 2years now and I have told him that I have a crush on him and he said to me that he had a crush on me for a long time to but has only dumped his girlfriend and he has not asked me out yet and I really think he will do you ?
Monique on August 18, 2018:
I have a crush on a boy at my school for a year and i am scared to talk to him but i am getting all the signs basically saying that he likes me but i want to know does it mean he likes me in may his friend said that my crush wants my number but he was too scared to ask me and i gave it to him but he never texted what does this mean i don't know what to do
Zhanna on August 07, 2018:
There's a guy a really really liked for like one year and just before like 2 days I decided to text him and we were texting for a little while and than he said that we could go out If I want. The problem is, I'm confused if he wants to go out as friends, or he's considering a potential relationship. I'm pretty sure thought, that its just gonna be us two, since he didn't mention bringing anyone with him. I'll be glad if u tell me whats your opinion
Manaamadeam on August 01, 2018:
So there is guy I've never meet in real life,we just communicate through texting and he is from another country but we are both arab....we just liked to criticize tv series but after sometime he began to send me song lyrics or scenes from movies and selfies of himself giving me details about his life,he began using emojis A LOT like
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on April 06, 2018:
If he doesn't talk to you, it's absurd to think he's going to ask you out. Just talk to him about whatever and build a healthy, friendly connection. You're probably too young to be dating, so instead focus on developing friendships and you. Crushes and dating are easier to handle with age.
anugya on April 06, 2018:
he like stares at me stalks me and like even crosses by me to touch me and shit but he doesn't talk to me and he shows all the signs that he likes me
but never ask me out what does that mean???
Jenni on April 01, 2018:
There's this guy we text and call but we don't talk at school I asked him why and he said because he's to busy however I'm on the lacrosse team and a few days later he shows up and is in the boys lacrosse team we joke around about being married and having a son but he dated my bestfriend and I dated his but we all broke up he remained being friends with me I'm just wondering do you think he likes me ?
Brianna Fox on March 14, 2018:
I like a few boys but don't know how to tel them i really want some one to like me. i want my first kiss already but only by the guy i like.
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on March 02, 2018:
He very clear likes you.
Just wondering... on February 09, 2018:
Okay. So, this boy I'm asking about. He's a friend of mine. We walk the same way to home. We joke around, like friends do. He sometimes hugs me long and moves his hands to my ass. He kissed me yesterday. He gave no hints that he would do that. So it comes out of nowhere. He likes this one girl he liked for years. Yet he said he felt like he should. I decided to tell him since he felt confused. We should be friends. I didn't want to make him feel like that. So, friend zoned. I don't like him or maybe I do. Then we walked home today, and he was acting all weird. Then I find out, he became "hard". Then we came to where I leave, and hugged long. I couldn't help but feel that he's just confused or sort of wants to be with me. Does he?
Gurl in destress on November 27, 2017:
Please help me there’s this guy I like and I can’t tel if he likes me back
I catch him starting at me all the time he will go out of his way to help me. And he is always picking on me. It’s playful though. Please help me I don’t know what to do
In need of HELP!!!!! on November 26, 2017:
There's a boy I like but I'm not sure if he likes me. He annoys me, he laughs with me, he picks on me, calls me names and he stares at me. Today I was looking behind him and he started staring at me and I'm just like what are you looking at. PLEASE HELP I'M DESPERATE!!!!!!! Also I think he's liked me for 1 year, especially how last year we were at the same community pool and he went out of his way just to say hi to me. Again PLEASE HELP I'M DESPERATE I AM SO CONFUSED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girl in Distress on November 08, 2017:
my friend came back to school today (he was sick yesterday) and during advisory he sat behind me and started playing with my hair then he asked is ur hair automatically curly i replied yes then he said i just noticed that ur hair is down today hes getting more physical what do i do?
Symphany on November 07, 2017:
What do u do if ur best friend thats a boy likes u and tells u to ur face and is going to ask u out but u have a boy friend and u like that friend back? Help?
Elena on November 02, 2017:
What if a guy stares at u and like jokes around with u by taking pictures of u as a joke and then shows u.....Whag does that mean?..... Does that mean he may like u
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on June 16, 2017:
Hmmm... Let's break this down:
Best friend talked to (boy).
(Boy) says he likes... someone who is... her best friend?
It means that he likes one of your best friend's best friends. Whether that's YOU or another one of her friends. How well known is your friendship with your best friend?
Shay on June 16, 2017:
What if my best freind (who is a girl) has talked to him and he had said that he likes someone who is her best freind..... what does that mean.
Crystal Henze on May 26, 2017:
What happens if you ask a guy "Do you want to ask me out?" and he says I don't know
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on April 03, 2017:
Sounds a little flirtatious. I think you should keep talking to him and try to break the ice around the two of you. He may be interested, but not sure where to go yet. Keep being engaging and approachable and that will help.
lolno on April 02, 2017:
So me and my crush seem to like each other but for some reason lately he's been changing his schedule to see me. Like at lunch he goes in the longer lines (I eat slow fyi and he eats fast) also lately he hasn't been really talking to other girls. I thought one day his brother honked at me or something. I also saw him one time by himself outside but my friend needed me. It looked like he was looking for something or I don't know. This is the week before spring break. I mean I dont know maybe he wants to ask me out or something? I've also seen him kind of smile at me. He also acts like a goofball around me and he tackles his friends when I'm around I'm guessing. I wish I could ask him out but I seriously don't have the guts. We also don't have any classes with each other anymore :-( or this term. But yeah I dont know
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on December 16, 2016:
Christine Francis on December 15, 2016:
I agree with everything you you have made it very clear for me I think someone is about to ask me out
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on October 14, 2016:
Have they asked you out?
Playing around doesn't necessarily means someone likes you as a romantic interest, they could see you as a buddy, which is alright too. :)
You just tell them you like them when they tell you they like you. Keep it simple.
Guys ask a girl out when they sense a connection and want to see where it goes.
Ashen Gray on October 14, 2016:
If a guy plays around you a lot does that mean he likes you? An how to say you like them back with out coming off to strong? What makes a guy want to ask a girl out?
Getrude Hillary on August 31, 2015:
So true. I enjoyed reading.