Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.
What Is Hanging Out?
You likely don’t need any prep! Come as you are — you are among friends. If you are wanting to set the stage, take a shower, get dressed a little nicer, and think of some ideas ahead of time on what you might like to do. Try not to complain and gossip the whole time. People generally want to be around positive, likable people who have interesting things to say.
You should give yourself plenty of time to be spontaneous. If you are always on the go and feel you need a strict schedule of what’s happening, you’ll probably lose some friends who could care less. Try telling some jokes, read a bunch of articles, so you’re ready to talk about interesting things, and be open to learning new things.
When you get the chance to be around others, give them compliments. Thank them for spending time with you. Try to come up with ideas on what you can do next time. You should feel comfortable to speak what you’re thinking, meet more friends along the way, and maintain a good attitude in the midst of chaos.
How to Prepare for a Hang Out
If you’re wanting a date, don’t expect someone to just take you on one or that just because you’re hanging out a lot that you’re dating. You should openly say what you want — hey, I want a date! But know that if it’s not reciprocated, it could be a mood killer. Today a lot of people don’t just start off with a date. They spend time getting to know each other in other ways, and then when the time is right, they’ll do something more formal and romantic.
Often people wait till they’re actually in a relationship (or pretty close to it) before they go on an official date. To be honest, it’s different for everybody. There’s a whirlwind of different expectations.
What if I Want Something More Formal?
If you're wanting a date, don't expect someone to just take you on one, or that just because you're hanging out a lot then you're dating. You should openly say what you want—hey, I want a date! But know that if it's not reciprocated, it could be a mood killer. Today a lot of people don't just start off with a date. They spend time getting to know each other in other ways, and then when the time is right, they'll do something more formal and romantic.
Often people wait till they're actually in a relationship (or pretty close to it) before they go on an official date. To be honest, it's different for everybody. There's a whirlwind of different expectations.
Hints That He May Like You
- He only wants to spend time with you and not a group. If you ask to invite others to join, he seems disinterested in the idea. Don’t be dismayed if he isn’t disinterested: he may fake this and give you the green light to invite a friend or two for more company.
- He’ll lose track of time. He won’t be trying to keep you to a strict schedule but will let the outing take its own course.
- He doesn’t put pressure on you physically. If he likes you, he’ll try to get to know you personally and emotionally. He won’t treat you like a booty call.
- He’ll give you gifts or random tokens to remember him by — such as his jacket, jewelry, or something pretty he saw.
- Lots of compliments that are genuine and out of nowhere. Does he have a nickname for you? Does he call you a certain type of flower?
- He finds excuses to touch you whether with a fist bump, high five, handshake, hug, or kiss on the forehead.
- He doesn’t go on and on about other girls. He knows if he talks too much about other girls, you’ll think he is interested in them.
- He picks you up in his car, opens the door for you, and goes to your front door to greet you. He takes things up a notch or 12. He wants to come off chivalrous.
- He buys you dinner. Not only does he buy you dinner, but it’s at a nice place. Fast food doesn’t count.
- His eyes sparkle when you look at him. He has a distinctly odd look, and he stares at you all the time.
- He laughs at your jokes no matter how bad, weird, or incomplete. You could prepare some bad jokes to test this.
- He talks about his feelings for you — I mean, dead giveaway.
- He calls you on the phone before addressing the hang-out plans. People tend to rely more on texts and social media to set up plans. Directly calling someone is more serious.
- He is fidgety and nervous but in a good way. He adjusts his socks, combs his hair with his fingers, straightens his tie, or plays with objects on the table. He can’t sit still.
- He’s really focused on you and your opinion. He cares about your opinion, so he seeks it out.
- He asks lots and lots of questions about you. He may ask you so many questions that he doesn’t take a breath.
- He isn’t on his phone the whole time. He gives you his undivided attention.
- He makes plans to hang out again soon. Someone who likes you makes sure they're consistent.
- He calls you his “girlfriend.” Clearly, something has been established or he is crazy.
In this world of everyone having goals and there being lots of people and competition — keep your chin up and enjoy yourself! None of us know what is really going to pan out. Keep making friends, and eventually, you’ll square off with someone, if that’s what you want. Don’t become a victim of tunnel vision.
Tunnel vision is when you think you have to be with someone or else your romantic plans will never happen. Instead, be open to what could happen and add a cup of maturity into the mix. Don’t get too focused on one person before you actually get into a relationship (or serious dating). Until there’s commitment, you don’t need to invest all your energy in a person, so don’t. Instead, go have the time of your life listening to your favorite music, dancing, eating amazing food, and visiting your long-lost family relatives from Scotland. There’s a whole world out there! Don’t get too down about the dating confusion spiral. You’ve got this. Don’t make too big a deal out of nothing-sandwiches.
Need some tips on staying positive?
- Compliment yourself.
- Go after the things you’ve always wanted to pursue, whether that’s studying a language or getting into pottery.
- Sleep more and eat better food.
- Spend time with those who support you and lift you up.
- Take a day to pamper yourself — a warm bath, wine, chocolates, whatever.
- Go explore something in your city that you’ve never visited/tried.
- Go on a vacation.
- Clean up all the clutter in your house.
- Be willing to try new things.
- Read all your favorite books, watch your favorite movies, and listen to your favorite music.
© 2015 Andrea Lawrence