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Signs He Likes You When Hanging Out

Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.


What Is Hanging Out?

First, what exactly does the phrase "hanging out" mean? One Urban Dictionary definition (I know, an odd choice of dictionary), defines it as: "to socialize with your friends, whether it is of your choosing or not; most of the time the term is used to refer to a type of fun." Hanging out consists of doing something with friends, family, or acquaintances outside work, school, etc. Hanging out is usually done with a group of people or one-on-one with someone. Hanging out does not automatically imply romantic interest. There's this strange middle area between hanging out and dating—good luck figuring out those limbo waters.

Often times when two people enjoy each others company in one setting, they'll try to see what it's like alone and somewhere else. It really isn't a date unless you both call it a date, in most circumstances. You can plan ahead to hang out with someone, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily a date: nor does kissing, holding hands, buying dinner, or talking about your families entail a date. I know. Crazy.

This isn't a bad thing; dating stems from the old days of courtship where a man picked up some father's daughter and try to buy her out with his ravishingly good looks, charm, and wealth. Now, we're more modern. Women are not seen as jobless and the like. You both can be fully independent beings, and therefore, some of the old date traditions are moot. They've turned into hanging out, friends with benefits, etc., etc. If you want a date—or want to call it a date—then you have to put that energy in. Yes, going and getting coffee can be a date, if you both say it is a date. At that point, you're saying you are trying to figure out something romantic (or you're already in a relationship and like to call things dates.)

What can you expect when hanging out? Other people may be invited into the social dance, wearing fairly casual clothes, getting food, talking about movies and books, watching a sports game, or engaging in the ever-subversive "Netflix and chill."


How to Prepare for a Hang Out

Likely you don't need any prep! Come as you are—you are among friends. If you are wanting to set the stage, take a shower, get dressed a little nicer, and think of some ideas ahead of time on what you might like to do. Try not to complain and gossip the whole time. People generally want to be around positive, likable people who have interesting things to say.

You should give yourself plenty of time to be spontaneous. If you are always on the go and feel you need a strict schedule of what's happening, you'll probably lose some friends who could care less. Try telling some jokes, read a bunch of articles, so your mind is ready to tell interesting things, and learn how to do a few games ahead of time, especially ones you can make out of nothing, essentially.

When you get the chance to be around others, give them compliments. Thank them for spending time with them. Try to come up with ideas on what you can do next time you meet. You should feel comfortable to speak what you're thinking, meet more friends along the way, and maintain a good attitude in the midst of chaos.

What if I Want Something More Formal?

If you're wanting a date, don't expect someone to just take you on one, or that just because you're hanging out a lot then you're dating. You should openly say what you want—hey, I want a date! But know that if it's not reciprocated, it could be a mood killer. Today a lot of people don't just start off with a date. They spend time getting to know each other in other ways, and then when the time is right, they'll do something more formal and romantic.

Often people wait till they're actually in a relationship (or pretty close to it) before they go on an official date. To be honest, it's different for everybody. There's a whirlwind of different expectations.


Hints That He May Like You

  1. He only wants to spend time with you and not a group. If you ask to invite others to join, he seems disinterested in the idea. Don't be dismayed if he isn't disinterested: he may fake this and say to go ahead and invite a friend so that you are happy.
  2. He'll lose track of time. He won't be trying to keep you to a strict schedule but will let the outing take its own course.
  3. He doesn't put pressure on you physically. If he likes you, he'll try to get to know you personally and emotionally.
  4. He'll give you gifts or random tokens to remember him by— such as his jacket, jewelry, or something pretty he saw.
  5. Lots of compliments that are genuine and out of nowhere.
  6. He finds excuses to touch you whether with a fist bump, high five, handshake, hug, or kiss on the forehead.
  7. He doesn't go on and on about other girls.
  8. He picks you up in his car, opens the door for you, and goes to your front door to greet you.
  9. He buys you dinner.
  10. His eyes sparkle when you look at him.
  11. He laughs at your jokes no matter how bad, weird, or incomplete.
  12. He talks about his feelings for you—I mean, dead giveaway.
  13. He calls you on the phone before addressing the hang out plans.
  14. He is fidgety and nervous but in a good way.
  15. He's really focused on you and your opinion.
  16. He asks lots and lots of questions about you.
  17. He isn't on his phone the whole time.
  18. He makes plans to hang out again soon.
  19. He calls you his "girlfriend."

Keep Being Positive

In this world of everyone having goals and there being lots of people and competition—keep your chin up and enjoy yourself! All of us have no idea what is really going to pan out in the end. Keep making friends, and eventually you'll square off with someone, if that's what you want. Don't become a victim of tunnel vision.

Tunnel vision is when you think you have to be with someone or else your romantic plans will never happen. Instead, be open to what could happen and add a cup of maturity into the mix. Don't get too focused on one person before you actually get into a relationship (or serious dating.) Until there's commitment, you don't need to invest all your energy in a person, so don't. Instead go have the time of your life listening to your favorite music, dancing, eating great food, and visiting your long lost family relatives from Scotland. There's a whole world out there. Don't get too down about the dating confusion spiral. You've got this. Don't make too big a deal of nothing sandwiches.

Need some tips on staying positive?

  1. Compliment yourself.
  2. Go after the things you've always wanted to pursue whether that's studying a language or getting into pottery.
  3. Get yourself enough sleep and a balanced diet.
  4. Spend times with those who support you and lift you up.
  5. Take a day to pander yourself—warm bath, wine, chocolates, whatever.
  6. Go explore something in your city you've never tried.
  7. Go on a vacation.
  8. Clean up all the clutter in your house.
  9. Be willing to try new things.
  10. And read all your favorite books, watch your favorite movies, and listen to your favorite music.

© 2015 Andrea Lawrence


dashingscorpio from Chicago on November 05, 2015:

Please excuse the typos! Five minutes to edit a comment is too short! :)

dashingscorpio from Chicago on November 05, 2015:

In my opinion "hanging out" is one step away from being put in the "Friend Zone" and in fact it may be worse because oftentimes one or both people don't know what the other wants or their intentions.

If a guy calls a girl up and says: "They're having a free concert in the park this Saturday. Do you think you might want grab a bite to eat and go (hang out) to listen to the band?" Is it a date or not?

In my opinion it's a "cowardly way to ask for a date".

The guy is afraid of being rejected so he makes it sound as "casual" as possible. It gives him an (out) if she comes back with "I'm seeing someone". He can say; "I'm not asking you out on a date. I just thought you might enjoy some live music in the park." Now she feels like an idiot for being presumptuous that he was " romantically interested in her".

People have been known use "flirting" in the same way. Essentially it's their way of testing the waters to see if they may be some mutual interest. If the other person seems offended or taken aback it allows him or her to say; "I can't believe you thought I was serious!"

Communication is the GPS for relationships and friendships.

Ultimately men need to stop approaching dating like cowards. If a guy is romantically interested he shouldn't behave as wolf hiding in sheep's clothing. Make sure knows where you're coming from and if she says she's not interested it will save you time and money while avoiding being in the "Friend Zone".

And you're a woman who is being asked to "hang out" just know that you may be dealing with a coward who doesn't have the nerve to ask you out. There's nothing wrong with asking for some clarification. "Are you asking me out on date?" If he say's: "No. I just thought we'd hang out." Then you have to decide if you want to be in his "Friend Zone".

As for {19. He calls you his "girlfriend"} if he tells people this without the two of you having any discussions about being "exclusive" you see this as a "red flag".

One man's opinion!

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