I'm a Midwesterner with a background in writing and media. My articles are mainly about relationships, dating, and heartbreak.
What His Texts Really Mean
Sometimes it is hard to tell whether someone likes you or not. This article will help you figure out when a guy isn't interested in you, based on how he texts. Of course, all rules have exceptions, and some people are just bad at texting. Be careful not to jump to conclusions too quickly or overanalyze things.
Generally, men are not into double meanings and tend to communicate in a straightforward way. Other ways of communicating, especially face-to-face, will give you a stronger grasp on the situation, so remember to also look for other indications outside of texting, such as body language. However, if texts are all you have to go on, don’t worry: even these brief messages contain lots of clues.
The following is a list of signs you can use to determine if he leans more toward liking you . . . or not being interested at all. I’ve divided them into three categories:
- Totally Not Interested
- Friend Zone
- Booty Call
Totally Not Interested
If these signs describe your communication with a guy you like, you’d be better off moving on and finding someone else who better appreciates your interest. These signs indicate a guy who either is completely uninterested in you in any way, or who is just a complete asshole who doesn’t care if he acts inconsiderate. Either way, you deserve better.
- He never responds to anything you ever send him.
- There is absolutely no interaction. Zero interaction means zero things are happening. There's no momentum. That doesn't mean you should send hateful or aggressive messages, because negativity is worse than zero.
- He regularly takes 24 hours (or longer) to reply. It's okay to wait a couple of hours or so because we all have busy days or, if it was late and he went to bed, the next morning. But if there's no response, it might not mean he hates you, but you might not be a priority of any kind.
- He only texts you about business matters or school matters.
- His texts are colorless. There's no joking, no flirting, nothing. They sound boring and typical.
- He never texts you anything unnecessary or random. If his text has a reasonable context, then it isn't necessarily an excuse to get in touch.
- He'll avoid even the most minute personal details about himself. He won't tell you about his job, though most guys love to talk about their job.
- He texts you only for homework answers.
- None of his texts inquire into your well-being. There will be no message asking how are you, if you had a good morning, or if you did well on a test.
- He never invites you to anything through texting.
- When he cancels, he doesn't bother to give you a reason.
- He doesn't care that you are sick.
- He doesn't text more than once every three months. Generally, I would say more than once a month, but there are some exceptions. Such as, if he suddenly starts talking to you out of nowhere and you never see him, he probably has an interest in you. He may be so far removed from your daily life that texting too often may come off too random
- He consistently only sends one-word responses when context would require a longer response. This may mean he reads your messages but doesn't care to write as much. You may want to try calling him or another mode of communication in case this is just a texting problem.
- There is no emotion to the texts. No smileys. No emojis. No exclamation marks. Nothing. He never congratulates you on anything.
- He doesn't seem to know who you are. He may ask, "Who is this?"
- He asks you to stop texting him or to leave him alone; he is too busy. If he asks you to stop texting, it means you are texting too much and he can't handle it and it may be getting in the way of things he wants to do for himself whether job related or social networking.
- Everything he sends to you is mean, hurtful, and rude. He clearly wants to get rid of you.
- He consistently uses the wrong name for you.
- If he refers to you as a "bitch," he most likely isn't interested in you in a good way . . . or at all.
Sometimes a guy really likes you as a friend, but is uncomfortable with the idea of being more. There are lots of possible reasons for this. Maybe he likes someone else, he’s gay, or he just doesn’t see you that way. If this is the case, my advice is, again, to try to find somebody else. You could even enlist his help.
After all, since he likes you as a friend he’d probably love to set you up with one of his guy friends. Anyway, the following are signs that he respects and admires you as a friend, but isn’t looking for anything more.
- His texts are more like what he would send to his guy friends, like scratching his balls, farting, and talking about beer. No guy would resort to this unless he is inept or does not care to impress you at all.
- He refers to you more frequently as "buddy" or "bro." The qualifiers he uses to define you should be self-explanatory. Guys don't generally use the word "buddy" if they see you as romantic potential, unless this guy is losing it and really likes you and has no idea what to say anymore.
- If you receive a text from one of his friends and that friend says that your interest gave him that phone number . . . your interest probably doesn't like you, but his friend does.
- If he cancels on you, don't immediately jump to conclusions. See if he would like to visit with you some other time and try to reschedule. Try to see what are the reasons why he canceled. Guys, unfortunately, cancel a lot but that doesn't mean they are not interested in you. There could be a number of reasons they have to cancel, so don't sweat it too much.
- He asks for advice on another woman. This screams he sees you primarily as a friend.
- He tells you that his friends are free to hang out with you instead. This means that he may enjoy your company, but if he is passing you off to his friends this may mean the guy is more interested in seeing somebody else and he doesn't want to give the wrong impression. He likes you enough that he'd want you to mix in with his group of friends, which is a compliment. And you may find someone who is more in synch with you from the friend group.
- You see him write lengthy text messages but you never receive any. Clearly, he has the capacity to do so, and can be heartfelt, but just isn't to you.
- If he seems to be mainly interested in men, he might be your gay best friend. But remember, bisexuality exists! Don’t make assumptions.
- When you make a flirty pass, he doesn't respond by being flirty or enthusiastic; instead, he keeps it strictly friendly. Worse, he says you are being weird. That may mean he doesn't get it or like what you are saying. He isn't connecting.
- He uses the word "platonic" in reference to you.
- Guys don't usually pour out all their feelings in text form. If he does, he may have some interest in you beyond friendship.
If you really like a guy and he only sees you as a booty call, it’s better to know sooner rather than later so you don’t get too attached. If you want an emotional, committed relationship but he only wants sex, you should probably keep your distance to protect your feelings. The following are signs that he is only interested in a casual or physical relationship.
- He only texts you between the hours of 12:00am-5:00am.
- He has a girlfriend, is in a relationship of some kind, or is married. You do not want someone who is willing to flirt around while they are in a relationship; this has bad indications that he would do the same to you if in a relationship, so just look right past him. There's other great guys out there, just wait.
- He only texts you pictures of his body, especially his chest or “dick pics.”
- If you see an "I love you" text to someone else on his phone, beware that he may be cheating or is about to cheat.
- He accidentally texts you information that was meant for another woman.
- You out-text him by a large percent, such as 80%. When texting, the communication should appear fairly even from text to text. At least, there shouldn't be a noticeable one-sided texter. You may occasionally double text, especially if he does this himself, and generally if the messages are related. Do not over-text. It's overwhelming and comes off as needy.
- He never apologizes if he is late to respond. He never apologizes, period. If he has never used the phrase "I'm sorry" when doing something hurtful, it's because he isn't emotionally involved enough to care and he has too big of an ego.
- If he sends you texts being upset about the cleanliness of his home, he probably is just annoyed with how you left his house (unless he’s your roommate of course.)
- If he only sends you mass texts it probably means he wants to socialize and party. And you are invited!
- Avoid putting too much expectation on the whole situation because that may intimidate the guy away from you.
- If he suddenly stops texting you, be cautious. He may be busy, but he may have also found interest in someone else.
- If he regularly cleans out his text messages from you, that may mean he has no attachment.
- If he demands certain services of you such as backrubs, sandwiches, and other odd things this may mean he likes you or sees you as his maid. You can playfully joke back with him or tell him off; how he responds here is key.
- If he says you are similar to one of his exes, be wary. This may mean he automatically doesn't like you. It can also mean that you are his type...or that you are close enough to his ex that it is like dating her anyway.
Questions & Answers
Question: I met this guys through my friend. He is from another city while I live in a province. We chatted every single minute. He is confusing me. He's sweet and understanding to me. He always uses smiley emoticons as he sends me pictures about what he is doing and where is he. Is there a possibility that he likes me too? By the way, he liked a post a while ago in Facebook, but he took 2 hours to reply to my chat. I'm confused?
Answer: Yes, I think he likes you. He is consistently communicating with you which is a strong sign. Don't worry so much about how quickly he responds but whether he responds to you consistently.
Question: I met this guy on IG. He texted me, and I replied to him nicely until he asked another question. I needed him to explain himself, but he saw the message and didn't reply. I got so mad and due to that I sent him harsh texts, and now he is not replying to my texts. I've apologized several times, but still not replying. What should I do please?
Answer: He has moved on. You came on too strong when you were being harsh.
Question: What should I do if there is a boy in my class, and I don’t really understand him? He always hugs me when he sees me, but he never makes eye contact. He sometimes tells me he loves me, but he says it with a smile. I can't understand if he is interested in me or he sees me as a friend?
Answer: This sounds very young. I think you should just keep things positive and not worry at this age about relationships. Even if they are all around you, relationships can wait.
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on August 27, 2020:
You should change the conversation entirely and throw in something random to say that's fun an engaging. Don't drag it down. Work on creating a positive connection.
emmy on August 17, 2020:
I've been talking to this guy.
We were flirting and he would ask to meet up, until my friend told him how much I liked him.
Once he knew it was almost like he lost some interest, he still engages with me but only to send a pic, or few worded sentences. He also avoids any questions about himself unless it's to do with his job or future plans.
I'm confused by him, I don't know if I should've just told him myself rather then her do it.
Rose on June 30, 2020:
So I met this lifeguard where I go swimming. We talk every time I go there and have a good old joke, I sometimes see him looking at me when I’m in the steam room as he is the lifeguard working down in the health spa on a Saturday. I’m not sure when he talks to me if he is being just nice or actually likes me. The other day I found him on Facebook and messaged him. He said a few thing like ‘you don’t have to his yourself around me’ and when I said I wanted to get to know him sinc ru met him he said he likes meeting new people. I really like him and his friend that I’m friends with too said he is shy till you get to know him. When he said pop up anytime I said chat tomorrow? He said’ sure we can!! The only thing is he takes basically all day to message but I think he isn’t the social media type since he only made it last month. I was thinking keep talking and see if he start acting different as I hope he likes me tok
Emily Gray on June 20, 2020:
Ok so I like this guys he live like 1 and a half hours away from me and I see if almost every weekend, he is 2 years older then me and is single. I got his number from a friend and we talk sometimes and when we talk he is really nice and never sends one word answers and he always keeps the conversation going, he uses emojis and never leaves me on read but I am always the one to start the conversation he never texts me first. Idk if he wants to talk to me or not it’s makes no sense pls explain!
Chi on June 15, 2020:
Hello, so there's this guy i met through twitter. We talk or chat everyday but lately is more of chatting. So he says he says he has been busy with work (and it is true) but still somehow i still doubt i feel he is trying to put a distance between us. Once i didn't chat with him and he was upset but I'm still confused. He doesn't even make it seem he is ready to be in a relationship with me.
Mash on June 12, 2020:
I have a crush on this guy for some time now, he is my senior. We only met a couple of times and dont really talk so much to each other. It has been a 3 years already and i finally found his instagram and we followed each other. He reply to my story and we had a small conversations here an then. I try to initiate more conversations but it dont really last long. I thought he would ask more questions about me like asking how is my day, but he didnt :( He sometimes reply to my stories saying im cute but theres no follow up conversations after that...does he like me?? im confused. If his not, why still reply to my stories saying im cute, after i said thankyou theres no followup conversations, is it because he is shy?? helppp im totally crushing on him, i just want to talk more to him but i just feel like hes not initiating a proper conversation first..should i start?
Jionna on June 10, 2020:
Theres this guy i talk to via text we flirt sometimes he has school so his really really busy but whenever he's free he texts me he says inappropriate mean things to me sometimes but then sometimes talks to me like he likes me this boy is making me lose my mind I honestly dont know what to think
Linda on June 03, 2020:
I have a Crush one of my parents friends we know each other since we were kids it's been 3days I found his ig account I sent him friend request and he followed me back u didn't sent him any message till he texted with hey so we started talking very nicely after 2days he's taking soo long to answer like a day
albany on April 14, 2020:
I've recently started talking to a guy on snapchat, we have a few things in common, we are in lockdown at the minute so i can't see him but i want to meet him. I don't message him non stop because I'm pretty busy myself (when i do message him he always seems to be on his playstation) but when i don't message him for a few days he doesn't pop up, i just pop up to him asking if he's alright and he acts like he's alright.
Rose Ann on April 08, 2020:
I have a korean bf.And i found him in koreasocial dating app.He is an english teacher in korea.Ive always texting him but it tooks 5to 6 hours before he replied.He tell me that he is free during night only.But i wait him until night but during i text him,he replied me that he needs to go to her parents.I wait him.And after 3 to 4 hours i tried to call him but he didnt answer me.I text him so many mesages.But he didnt replied me.And when he saw all my messages he didnt apologize me or give me some reason why he didnt replied me or why he didnt anwer my call.Sometimes it takes 2 to 3 days before he replied me.I just want to know what does it mean.He still love me?Im still important in him?
Jasmine on April 04, 2020:
Today one of my guy friend said that he cares about me as a friend... And I said I don't think so... Then he apologised saying that he barely text people on WhatsApp and he is not good with his words so if he offended me in any way he is sorry...
What could it be?
Fav on March 28, 2020:
There is this guy ive been crushing for the past 10years we never spoke to each other and he also told me he was crushing on me also for that amount of time.
Suddenly i finally met him last year,we hanged out together chatted laughed at things,we went back home telling each other how nice it was,i was so excited like i still like this guy after all this years we continued chatting planning our next meet up
Suddenly this guy disappeared out of the blue stopped texting me but,he comes online to post stuffs on hisbstory likes pictures
I'm feeling irritated like,am I just a fool blind and stupid for loving you
Anna on February 27, 2020:
I have to ask, because it’s really been driving me bonkers. So I met this guy who lives 4 hours away from me on Hinge. We have been taking for almost a month now and have yet to meet because the distance and he’s super busy with college, job hunting, etc. We were talking pretty regularly and then it died down and he apologizes for being MIA and said he’s super busy right now. We will go many days at a time without talking, but I enjoy our conversations so I will text him first and see how he’s doing. He always answers and is super polite and will ask me questions about my day/life and thank me for messaging him but then the pattern continues and we don’t talk. But his Snapchat score will go up quite a bit each day. Is he interested in me? Perhaps he’s into someone else? I guess I don’t know if I should just move on at this point. He told me a few days ago while we were texting that he would like to meet me in person soon but he knows it’s just not logistic right now. I also asked if he had any interest in me and he replied that he thought I seemed fun and very funny but couldn’t answer if he liked me because he hasn’t met me yet, which is totally valid. What are your thoughts? Help!
Maddi on February 12, 2020:
I started talking to this boy and I’ve been over a few times but he hasn’t replied to my last message which has been 9 hours and he’s been active on Instagram what does that mean ?
Yara on January 18, 2020:
He is someone who I know... He told me he is single.... But his WhatsApp status look like he s in relationship.... He won't txt or rly me....wat s the meaning
Felicia on December 29, 2019:
My crush was talking to me all day and ive known him for awhile but he started sending u derwear pics and a dick pic and then when I messaged him pack he said he was going to bed but I wasn’t mean I sent a pic in my sports bra hoping that it would be better then nothing. Does this mean he’s not into me?
faith on November 21, 2019:
there is this guy in my institution he friend are female and he do show body language at me but he don't text me he replied quickly to my text and alway check my profile status on WhatsApp but we don't talk case we are not close I like him too he one ask me of my name and I enjoy the talk but he pretend to no see me when he did he do keep an eye on me laugh with me and he female friend gave me he number for an assignment will have he respect me and he female friend do behave weird when they see me I stop chating him and he did not chat me but do check my status does he like me?
unkown on November 16, 2019:
there's this guy and I've known him since I was born his mum and my mum are friends sine high school and every time we see each other there is a connection and every time I forget about him or move on he somehow comes back into my life and I catch feelings for him and last time he texted me randomly and was like what did I send you and I said bit emoji why and he is like just making sure I didn't send you a dick pic and I said oh lol okay and his like I didn't wont you to see that yet :) and I just said lol and then he was like telling me stories from when we were younger how he kissed me and stuff then he said oh yeah last time I was up I wonted to kiss up but my jaw was broken so I couldn't and I said why and he said idk just had an ague and last time we saw each other was only like 5 months ago now and he told me he had feelings for me a couple of weeks ago and I told him I had feelings for him as well but then I got my phone taken off me and I added him on snapchat on my friends phone to talk to him but when I snaped him he just snobbed me so I don't know if his lost interest in my but I know once I see him again which is in the holidays cause mum is catching up with his mum I hope we will have a connection can you help me I don't know I cannot stop thinking about him and I'm worried that he has lost interest plaese help asap
Morgan on November 11, 2019:
I'm very confused about this guy I have been talking to for about 2 weeks now, and we haven't gone on a date just yet because I have been very busy. Every morning he will send me a picture of himself and I will send him one and we'll text for a bit. Sometimes later in the day he will send me another picture and I will do the same. He has called me cute, pretty, etc every now and again but hasn't done it in the past couple of days. My problem is that I wonder if I'm overthinking and is this guy actually interested in me?
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on November 07, 2019:
Send him something non-aggressive, like a picture of a humorous cat or a potato. You could say you're sorry if you confused him, but you were enjoying what you had before the drunken night. Try to keep things amicable. He might not really know where to put you in his life. Maybe not a picture of a potato... but something humorous. Don't spam his messages. Try to act secure, not insecure. He may see you as casual and too much talk about these things might seem too heavy.
Francis on October 30, 2019:
I am 22, he is 30. He likes girl my age he has said. So, we were casual Hooking up, and this happened three times. He asked me to watch a movie with him one night and also even cuddled with me one time. This all happened in a matter of 2 and a half weeks. I sort of liked him but my ex was also A huge part of myheart. One night I got Very very drunk to a black out point. He was on a vacation at the time and I drunk texted him saying I need him I love him and all of this crap that Was meant to go to my ex. I apologized the nextmorning and have bot spoke to him since. Its been 4 days.... I mean Can he really be that mad? I don't understand Why he would be we were a casual hook up but I dont want to live embarrassed for the rest of my time being, he can at least just tell me off so I have closure hut nope. What does this mean?
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on October 28, 2019:
Sounds friendly. He probably likes talking to you and such, but isn't really sure if anything can be more serious at this time. Continue to keep the communications positive and stay in touch.
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on October 28, 2019:
Spend more time together and don't analyze Internet habits as much. If you're not getting enough attention or time, this might be running flat and why you're analyzing these things so much. He may also have slowed down on checking these things if he is secure in the relationship.
Chlo on October 14, 2019:
I met this guy at my church a couple years ago and I came back to church. I told him I liked him before then i said I liked him again then texted him I didn’t like him that way again. I think I ruined my chance, I should never have told him! Later, I apologized to him and asked if we could be close friends and he said “We’ll see☺️“ then we went swing dancing and he gave me a hug for the first time in 3 months. Flash forward 3 months and I talked to him today about how he is and asked after my well being. We talked for about 7 hours on and off. Then I asked if I could give him my number and he said “sure, no promises though, I am busy these days, but I can make time”
Lora ren on October 01, 2019:
I met this guy on IG we started dating but now he rarely check on me n wait for me to text him n i think am really in love with him, what should I do
Ying on September 27, 2019:
There is a guy who was my neighbour before.
We are barely see each other but texting.
I was very new in that environment and he is the only one i know.
I always text him whenever i need helps ( Roughly once a month).
And i asked him a favor and he taught me how to drive in Highway road (that was the only time we met by person). He was always reply quickly but never initiated the text.Honestly i have crush on him for a while and it was so deeply. But i had never asked him out because i was way too shy since i have never flirted with guys and i don't know how to. Meantime, i am having health issue and don't know need to surgery or i was about to disability or may be something worse. I was too upset and thinking what if i die without tell him my feelings.. i would regret what if he couldn't know how much deep feelings i have for him,,, i know it was so stupid. I was trying to tell him so many times, but i couldn't make it. when i text him regular, he just replied in short message.So i have no courage to tell him about my feeling.
luckily i do not need surgery but need to get treatment asap and i was alone here. So my family asked me to go home as soon as i can. But if i go home i will lost my job in US. .And one night, i was super drunk since i was so stressed at that moment. ( i am very seldom drink bcoz a few wine can make me get drunk)
And stupidly confessed my feeling by text without mentioned his name. He didn't respond at all. In the next day,i was shocked by myself and text him and say sorry , that i was wrongly send . Actually i did not wrongly send . i lied bcoz of embarrassed. After that we run to each other couple times but i ran away due to embarrassing. I texted him that i will be go home soon. he replied after a day ''Be safe'' That's it !!!!!!! i knew that he hate me cuz i am annoying. but how could he not even asked me the reason. So at the day i left , i texted him on the flight, that i am sorry for what i did and made him mad . actually i was not wrongly send those drunk texts. and he replied and said he was too tired since he work too much and give me his fb acc and said i can always contact him.
I was very sad and cried when thinking i have no chance to see him again. it took me about 5 months for treatment , i thought i was unable to go back US since i only can out of US 6 months. i didn't contact him at all. Wish he will contact me but he's not. During those times i had a gut that he is the one for my life. So i was trying very hard to get recover since i need to get back US within 6 months if not i will lost the chance. Finally i get back to US.it's not wrong that He is the reason make me get back to US.
Unfortunately he is not there anymore.. i didn't know where he is ..
I texted him and he reply.
But when i said i'm here back to US. He didn't respond me after that.
And the conversation was end.
So i added him from facebook . He accepted my request, but never talk to me.
I am not sure it's my fate , i saw his car at my fri apartment.
I send a text from facebook and tell him i saw him, asked if he moved.
He just replied Yes.. but he didn't ask me anything.
Didn't respond the rest.
I haven't see him in person yet.
How would i ask him out when he barely respond my text.
In this moment , i am so confusing.
What am i for him??
Since i realized He is the one of my life and i can't give up ..
So i am willing to pursue him even i never chase guys before.
And here is a point, i don't know if he dating someone..
But the way he respond my text is make me no confident at all.
Am i just wrong?????
Should i just unfriend him on facebook..
Should i just move on or fight for make him be my man..
My guts keep on pushing me to pursue him. once in a life time.
Should i just ask him straight if he have someone else and let him officially know my feelings..????
If i give up on him, would i be regret one day...
Or he just not the one and it is just my stupid guts...
should i start chasing him...?????????
It make me so serious and confuse....... T-T
Jasmine Clarks on September 17, 2019:
Me and a boy have been talking for about a month now. We text each other a lot at the beginning and had long conversations about how we felt and it was really sweet. But this week he seemed to be busy all the time and I text him and he texts back. Ik he has a lot to do but when we first started talking it was like he made time for me but now we don't have long conversations like we did. I miss that and i am wondering does he just not care anymore. But he tells me he loves me every night and hugs me everyday. At the begining he told me he wanted us to hangout but i have not gotten the guts to ask my parents. Please help me and i am not as young as you think so i need help in this relationship!
Mel on August 30, 2019:
My boyfriend hasn’t texted me in a day or was gonna he 2 if I wouldn’t have texted him last night but barley replied this morning with a what’s up ? Does that mean he’s not interested
pls answer on August 22, 2019:
ok, so there's this guy. And idk he is confusing. We've been friends for about 6 months and he's the type of guy who jokes around a lot and is very loud at school, etc. And he is nice to me and stuff like he always offers me help and says yes if I ask for favors. But sometimes I feel like I might annoy him.
He is a very confusing texter. He always leaves me on read but he leaves everyone on read and sometimes (only on Snapchat) he takes forever to reply. And idk what to think, cause sometimes we are super close but other times I just feel like he doesn't like me (as a person).
And recently, I asked him for a favor, but he kept forgetting so I would remind him every morning and this one time I reminded him the night before but he didn't even answer me until the next morning. Personally idk if that's just because he wasn't active or because he was ignoring me.
I think my main question is, am I annoying him and how do I tell if he's a bit annoyed. And how do I change that?
unwanted on August 21, 2019:
Theres this guy in my class. we just started talking but hes into hentai, anime & everything. Everytime we have a convo hes like wanting pics or talking bout how hot these other girls are.. but he says that he wants to be more than friends but doesnt want to rush it & i understand. He makes my heart flutter sometimes, like sometimes hes caring and actually talks about things other than hentai and girls. But most of the convo is about the subjects I dislike and i dont wanna tell him that cus it means we'll have to stop talking cus he thinks i find him weird and everything. He sometimes replies so fast, other times slow. what do i do man.
IHaveIssues Yougotemtoo on August 12, 2019:
I recently met a boy on vacation! Hes so sweet and such a gentleman! I see him act nervous around me sometimes! One of his aunts called him over and asked him something. He got embarrassed and looked at me. His aunt began to smile at me. Than latter that night his family kept joking saying "walk her back like a gentleman" and etc. He kept acting even more nervous and even said "they're being a little loud" and he even texting me so his family wouldn't hear "Lol im sorry". He did end up walking me back and in return for him being so nice I kissed his cheek. He blushed and smiled in the same spot for at least 30 seconds. The next day was the day i had to leave. I thought he was asleep and before we left i sent him a quick message saying we are leaving. He freaked out over text and said he over slept and that he was sorry. I said we can quickly turn around to say bye. He insisted we go so we dont hit traffic and said he was serious.We ended up saying by to him anyway and i could tell he was happier with that. However we both live an hour apart. I do most of the conversation starting and he rarely is first to text. I think he likes me but is maybe too shy. What do i do and what do you think?
nina on July 28, 2019:
Hi-I've been talking to a guy for about 2 months online and now text-he seems really nice and genuine-HOWEVER-when i message him-he will only reply to 25 % or less of the content of the message, usually the easiest part of the message.I will give an example so, i message, 'hey-i sadly failed my exam and remember that apartment i mentioned and the deposit-it sold out-did you manage to get to work?it's really hot here today and i can't be bothered walking lol' His reply 'It's hot here too lol'
I called him up on this in a nice polite way and he said he was busy and will try-however he did it one day and then went back to the same pattern. I was going to meet him for a drink-but now, i feel wary and slightly resentful as it's more or less being ignored 80% of the time i communicate. He does message first sometimes with a hey hows things im in work etc..' Any ideas of what maybe happening here?
Maiaspicer on July 26, 2019:
My crush keeps adding me back and unadding me on snapchat after I asked if he is playing me . My freind asked him if he had feelings for me but he didint say anything. The girl that told me he was a player said that he told people he thought she was out of his league and didint go through with it which was last year.He keeps checking in on my snaps every other day it been at least 6 months and he still does. Il trying to build the courage to tell him that I did have a crush on him but j keep deleting it .everyone says he likes me but I'm not sure Is he playing with me or is he just being shy or insecure. Or is he playing hard to get ? Well now he has stipped after i told him i used to like him and that he was making me uncomfortable he read it for 29 seconds then unadds me . He hasent added me back since then
Samantha on July 24, 2019:
So I have a boyfriend .. we’ve only been dating a couple of days we talk everyday and he reply’s very fast and he tells me he loves me but I still get the feeling that he doesn’t like me ☹️
May on July 15, 2019:
So there is this guy I have been talking to that I met on a dating app. We been talking and he usually reply to my text within and hour. He doesn’t initiate any convo. Is he just a bad at texting or is he not interested in me
Betty on July 07, 2019:
There’s a guy I met on ig and we used to text loads and when we met up we both really liked each other and it was very genuine, he started messaging me so less like once in a day and he’ll be active on ig, when he did message me back eventually he’d tell me he misses me and sent me kiss emojis, I got annoyed that he messaged me after hours so messaged him saying about how I feel about him avoiding me so I told him my goodbyes and he never got back. I’m really down about it and he never got back to me at all
VL on June 02, 2019:
So i know this dude and we've been messaging for a while. But he's got a new job and not replying and leaving me on read. But when i said to him that i hadn't heard from him in a while he kept apologising and seems eveywgere atm and he thought i didnt reply not him. Each time we talk it's in massive paragraphs up to maybe 3 at a time. We we're alot more flirter before his friend admited to liking me but i think his friend likes someone new. Whenever we say bye once seeing each other we hug too idk if that means anything. But we also have a inside joke and i posted a thing about to hope he sees and 2 hrs later he posted a thing about the same thing.
Ana on June 02, 2019:
Hey there so this guy told me he wanted to hangout when he got back from Mexico so when I found out he was back I messaged him and he said he would see me later but he never did
Andrea on June 01, 2019:
So I know this guy from work/the gym and we always talk. Sometimes I will catch him staring at me, and we always flirt. We fake fight and he teases me whenever he gets the chance. I had casually gotten his number from him and invited him tona party of mine in a week or two, which he said he would most likely come and I told him I'd love to see him there. It's all fun and I always feel like he might like me back in person, but he never responds to any texts. He answered the first time, but after that he never did. I waited a couple days and tried again, and he didn't answer either. I have liked him for a while, and I am really confused. Based off of texts, he doesn't like me, but in person it feels different. One of his friends said he doesn't like using snapchat (which I also tried and he did the same thing as the texts), so I thought he might not like using his phone, but I see him pull out his phone sometimes. What does this mean and what should I do?
Alex K. on May 31, 2019:
So the text conversation went like so:
ME: hey can I tell you something?
ME: I like you
Him: As a friend?
I haven't gotten any texts back and I saw that he saw the last text. What does this mean?
L on May 30, 2019:
Hey. So there is this guy that I have known since younger grades, we’ll call him D. D and I flirt sometimes but not in a way that he compliments me or anything. It’s more like we just tease each other. I don’t know how he sees it. Maybe he doesn’t even see it as flirting. Anyway, I really really like him. I have for a while. I don’t think he knows that I like him, though. I won’t see him for a while because next year we are going to different schools. I wanted to tell him how I felt, so I texted him. I said that I liked him. I said I didnt care how or if he reponds, I just needed to tell him. Get it off my chest. I wanted D to know how I felt. So anyway, I sent the text, and he responded with “yah” and then, in a new text, “ok” I think this means that he doesn’t like me back, but he is a hard guy to read. I just want to know what it means. Thank you for listening to my rant. :)
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on May 23, 2019:
Keep chatting and improving the connection, but don't get yourself too attached.
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on May 23, 2019:
Sounds like a player. Ignore him. Move on for something better.
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on May 23, 2019:
Don't get too caught up in analyzing texts. People are busy and generally look at texts casually.
Aliya21 on May 14, 2019:
so there is this guy i know through a friend. we chatted a little and he uses emojis. it seems like hes being his true self instead of trying to be someone to impress me. he gives me suggestions on what to watch and where to hang out. he lives in another city so i cant meet in person. i wonder if im in the friendzone. also i wonder if im just an option and not the only one. what should i do? continue or forget him?
Charlotte on May 06, 2019:
So this boy hit me up on insta its going good he asks for my snap and we talk there i tell my friend about him and she decides to talk to him they get to talking more and more with her and begins to lag a lil on me he asks her sexual questions and that shattered me but he asked her if I had feelings for him she said no and he said "good" like ???? but he compliments me daily calling me beautiful and how much i mean to him WHAT DO I DO PLEASE HELP
Aurora on May 02, 2019:
There is someone I used to know during my school days and we don't talk much. But sometimes the way he looks at me feels so weird. Anyone have ever looked at me like that. One day I texted him first, he also replied but all of sudden he disappeared from the conversation. Then he didn't reply me at all. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me. But he is not that kind of person to act like that. I feel so confused. Someone help me
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on April 10, 2019:
No, you're not overthinking things but you need a little more consistently for this to go anywhere.
Always worrying on April 03, 2019:
I've been talking to this guy we've been out on dates twice each time the date lasted five or more hours. He's extremely busy so we don't get to talk much especially during the day. On a date he said we were seeing each other I'm pretty sure he likes me.
Am I just over thinking things??
Lily on March 27, 2019:
I met him on fb.He knew i like him...he would send me smileys and we talk about future carrier also about well being.Nowadays he took forever to reply to my text even if he is online.So i stop texting but he text me again and i respond..but he still does not reply quickly. What should i do
Danielle on March 25, 2019:
I met this guy on the chat line when I was 25 years old. We talked almost everyday for 8 months. Then we lost touch for 7 years. We reconnected through the same chat line. He asked me to meet him but I wasnt ready. We started to argue a lot, well I did because he barely texted me and most of the time when he did, it was sexual. When I would tell him how I felt, he would totally ignore me everytime. Then he would reach back out to me a year later and he would show the same behavior, not texting much, or having a real conversation. Of course when it was sexy time then he would show all interest. Me getting mad at him and him ignoring me, then reaching back out to me another year later kept happening through out the years. I'm now 36 years old and still the samething. I've been afraid to meet him because he doesn't seem to care. This last time he actually had a real conversation with me and expressed he feels like I'm bs because I keep making excusses as to why I won't meet him so he can't take me serious and I do get that but from the start when we reconnected It didn't feel the same. It felt more sexual. So the other day someone shot a gun by my house and I felt it was targeted towards me because I was having a lot of problems with my next door neighbor who just moved out 2 hours before the gun shot. When I told him he didn't seem that concerned and didn't check up on me the follow day. So I texted him that following day saying "I'm glad I reached out to you this time because It's obvious you dont care. His response was "Dam oh ok, well im not bout 2 go threw dis im sik feeling like shit but it is what it is. Take care cuz im threw with all da BS n games and Im glad what u tx cuz I aint goin threw dis shit again n again. Thanx.
I am so hurt because now I know it's finally over. The reason I haven't let go because I always blamed myself for not meeting him.
A curious girl on March 24, 2019:
So there is this guy that I like and he is in a different grade then me but my friends decided to get us to know each other by giving me his Instagram and we’ve been texting for 4-5 months and we text alot about stuff we say goodmorning and goodnight and he claims to not like anyone and he doesn’t text alot of people which makes me feel special because he texts me and usually him and I ask how our day has been I asked him if he wanted to talk in person and he said yea it’s kinda cute because every time we see each other in the hallway we just look at each other and the day before I asked him if we could talk in person my friends and I were walking home and they were telling me to talk to him because he was in front of us and I said no I’m too nervous and then one of my friends called him and he came over next to us and she told him “aye this girl want chu” and he just started smiling and I was so mf embarrassing because I was blushing and they were all telling him so yeah and I still had the courage to text him the next day do wish me luck cuz ima talk to him tomorrow and does he like me or not???!?
Unknow on March 02, 2019:
So I have an online guy that added me from an website. We got on so well like he was amazing but we both did ignore each other aswell but recently I deleted my acc and after 6 months I msged him on Instagram with a big message but he didn’t reply but he went on the old account we use to talk on and messaged me on it. Did he like me?
Kathrine on December 24, 2018:
I liked this person for a while now and I finally told them through text and when I told them they said im confused and just told them to forget about it since I must've freaked them out and said if we could just be friends and said k that's fine but when we meet face to face he smiles at me and stares at me.He laughs at my jokes (even if they arent funny) I feel like im being led on.
Rebecca on October 26, 2018:
I don’t get this guy, when we are together he is always sitting so close to me or starring at me every chance he gets. He always stands close or tries too. I decided to text him and he only replied in one worded texts. If I’m lucky, 3 or 4 worded messages. I kinda like him but I’m just confused.
anonymus on August 17, 2018:
what should i do i dont know if this guy has a gf but every time he responds to my text his words are super common and im really into him a even when im trying to get his attention he does not do anything but say yeah or ok and since he is alone im rwally into him no matter what.
Mila on July 12, 2018:
So theres this guy i've known for three years now we never really talked because he used to be very rude,he's really changed this year, he added me on social media and we chat almost every day, but its really short, i like him but im afraid to show it so i kind of come off rude
Katherine on July 09, 2018:
There's this guy I met a couple of months ago. Every time we see one another in person it's amazing. We're talking making out and flirting. He messages me but is so dry. He rarely talks to me in person when there's other people among us. He says he misses me & when I mentioned that he needs to grow up and change he says he will but I haven't really seen a difference. I'm sure he doesn't like me. What do I do?!
A guy on June 17, 2018:
is it weird that I texted a guy I was seeing about a year ago we havent talked since and now we talk sometimes he's saying he's busy in stuff andlike he said I was saying bullshit and stuff meaning someone is making up bullshit because he wanted to steal him from me! it seems how tf do I fix that????!!!!!
John on June 09, 2018:
#6 cracks me up. If he never texts things that are "unnecessary and random" he doesn't like you? So are you ladies finally admitting that your texts are unnecessary and random? #15 is funny too. So you want emoticons, smiley faces, and "emotion"?
Well here's some news for you: Don't waste my time with your female shit. Texting is for conveying needed information, nothing more. I swear, texts from women are the most annoying things on the planet. Please grow up and leave us alone.
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on June 07, 2018:
HE LIKES YOU A LOT. You should let him know whether you like him.
Ashley on June 05, 2018:
Hello, there is this guy I know. We met back in our Senior year. He is kind, considerate, joking and thoughtful. He always asks me about my plans in the day, what I'm doing, and texts me all day, every day. After our graduation, he went to the graduation night that I went to and stayed by my side the whole night, lending me his towel when we went swimming. He always walks me to class at the college we go to and when we're together he gives me no space whatsoever. We talk about our future plans and he talks about me being in them without admitting it. He is always smiling or grinning down at me and even leans forward down close to my face if he didn't hear something. Does he like me?
Clarissa on May 23, 2018:
Okay so I know this guy from a while ago and we text a lot and every day but like I really don’t see him making an effort Tom see me and stuff like that like his friends Willa bother him about me and people will tell me that he likes me but and also he says kind of shy but he really lets go with me and talks with me a lot and some girls also even say that ge treats me different from them or other girls but i really don’t know like his text so will Ben like bothering me about something or like making fun of me as a joke (that’s how he is) like he’s really funny and jokes stound a lot but with me it’s teasing do you think he likes me?
Patricia on May 22, 2018:
I know dis guy for about a long time probably childhood and now few months back he started talking to me all of a sudden ..and he is my church member..my dad has his number he too has my dads ..I texted him telling his dp was good..so he replied back tellin thank you with
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on May 16, 2018:
Stop looking into how long it takes someone to respond to you -- that's demanding. If they're responding back to you consistently, that is more important.
alittlesad on May 06, 2018:
I met this guy through a friend of mine, and we had a drunken sexual night together and again in the morning while we were sober. I drove him home that day and we had good conversation in the car and it didnt feel awkward at all to me. We got to his place and he asked for my number, invited me back later that night to watch westworld with him and our friends and hugged me goodbye. So i've been texting him and he doesnt use emojis, he uses the occasional "lol" and i always text him first. He told me I could text him even when he was at work the next day after one night we were texting for awhile, so he wanted to talk to me again. I feel annoying to him always being the one to text first, and I told him I felt that way. I said to let me know if im texting too much because i feel like im becoming an annoyance. and that i just wanted to get to know him better. and he said he didnt find it annoying and not to worry. Do you think he likes me? im just really confused, i feel like he should text me first. thanks!
Justhopeful on May 05, 2018:
I really like this guy and we text a lot but barely talk in school. I am always the first one to text. When we do text he doesn't seem as interested as I would hope. He will say he is sorry if he takes a while to respond. Which happens often. I sometimes feel like im being needy but i really don't mean to be. I asked him out and he said no but before he said that he would probably date me and that i was cute. Do you think he secretly has a crush on me but is denying it? I am really sad and trying to ignore him to see if he will say something to me but it hasn't happened yet for like 2 days...I son't know what to do.
justcurious12345 on April 25, 2018:
So im talking to this guy, we text everyday and sometimes he's super cheesily sweet and he's very teasing but sometimes it takes him a long time to reply, 6 hours at most, he always sleeps before me and some times he just ignores me when im talking on the phone with him but even though he does that, he still apologizes and he still remains the same, he says he misses me but can I really gurantee he likes me?
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on April 05, 2018:
Sounds like you need to give this time to find out how you really feel. Explore your feelings first, write a journal, write out things for why you like him. Perhaps it will fade in time.
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on April 05, 2018:
Is he attending to this child at all, because if so -- Baby Mamma will never leave the picture.
I think what you need to do is have a sit down conversation with this person, talk about your feelings and concerns. Let him know that's what you want to talk about and he should prepare what he wants to talk about, this way you two can discuss whether you want to continue something, or not. If you don't have the maturity for this conversation -- then this is a bust.
Jackie on April 04, 2018:
I have a crush on this guy who was very mean to me last year but now he is nice to me whenever we talk but we dont talk mich and we are not really friends either. I dont know why i have this crush nor what to do
ac24 on March 27, 2018:
I met this guy a few months ago and we hit it off. He would flirt with me, use emojis on texts, said goodmorning and goodnight, we talked everyday, all day. Then... his family pressured him into "trying to work things out" with his baby mamma. I dont have a problem with him having a baby. But after him and her got back together. No more cute messages or anything. Flash forward to now, I saw him for the frst time since his kid was born and it was like nothing had changed. We just talked for the two hours that we had together ((he lives an hour away)), we both have busy lifes but we plan to meet up again. Since I saw him again he's been texting me all day and he flirts with me sometimes. My question is... should I keep talking to him and try to make it work since him and his baby momma are totally done now? or how slow should I take this.. I really like him and he says he likes me but he doesn't show it like he used to. help? thank you.
Im in desperate need of advice.
alexis on March 27, 2018:
I met this guy a few months ago and we hit it off. He would flirt with me, use emojis on texts, said good morning and goodnight, we talked everyday, all day. Then... his family pressured him into "trying to work things out" with his baby mamma. I dont have a problem with him having a baby. But after him and her got back together. No more cute messages or anything. Flash forward to now, I saw him for the first time since his kid was born ((4 month)) and it was like nothing had changed. We just talked for the two hours that we had together ((he lives an hour away)), we both have busy lifes but we plan to meet up again. Since I saw him again he's been texting me all day and he flirts with me sometimes. My question is... should I keep talking to him and try to make it work since him and his baby momma are totally done now? or how slow should I take this.. I really like him and he says he likes me but he doesn't show it like he used to. he said he really liked how i looked that day ((that was the first time hed seen me with makeup on)) help? thank you.
Elaine tan on January 20, 2018:
Hi :) I developed a crush last year on a typical guy in my class who rarely talks and an introvert. Before I liked him he would sometimes talk to me and tease me onced. During the holidays I texted him first by sending random videos and text him quite often soon he initiated text too. Examples: sending random videos, telling me what he is doing, even one time he said he think he saw me at xxx place . Once school started this year, he doesn't text him anymore.. but sometimes I caught him staring at me even my friends spot him looking at my direction and glancing at me. I'm confused . Should I move on?
M&M on January 19, 2018:
I have this friend (more like crush but yeah he's also my friend) who was my classmate since we were elementary, separated from another class in high school and then became classmate again from our senior year high school. After graduation, I never heard anything from him. Until now he made an account because he is working abroad. He chatted me to say hi and greeted me a happy new year. Until we keep on chatting everytime he goes home from is work. I even opened to him about my depression and he just keeps on asking question about it which i am really thankful. I gotta admit I had a crush on him since high school and we never had this kind of conversation ever. I don't know if he's just replying to me out of sympathy or just being there as a friend. Now I don't know what should I follow up to his reply because I accidentally wrong sent to him
Christina on January 16, 2018:
Hi :) I met this guy on some social media, he texted me first, he also texted me the day after and we had a casual, funny conversation. I said in a funny way that i will move to Africa and he said no, we will go together in Cuba, Jamaika etc. In general, he is asking me questions about my hobbies, stuff i like etc. So, the third day i was the one who texted him. He asked me how my day was, which medical courses are my favourite (i am studying medicine), he also said he isn't having a great day, he was going to watch some tv series and i said i am not gonna bother you any further and he said we will talk another time. So, how should i know if he is interested in keep texting me? How can i not become dull through texting? Because texting is really not my greatest asset.
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on January 04, 2018:
You should keep texting him. If he consistently does so, he probably likes you.
Tracey on January 03, 2018:
Guy texts me everyday who works at my place. We've been out. He's still texting. I'm confused if he likes me
Nutella on December 26, 2017:
I've been friends with a guy from another country. Long distance friendship. Now he no longer text me like 1 month and 18 days. What should I do..move on? And why so
Theresa on November 03, 2017:
I meet this guy at work. We were in orientation and he kept smiling at me and looking at me. I couldn't help but notice. He is a cutie I thought. I ran into him when I was walking into work & he talked to me a for a minute. When we do see each other he says hi & ask how things are and always has a smile for me it seems.
We talked on Facebook messenger and he flirted and talked to me for about half hour..
Then we chatted again on messenger & then he said I like to talk a lot & then said well you text a lot. Now mind you I barely texted him or talked to him. I kind of took offense to it. I was like really, I do? First time I ever heard that.
Now it feels a little awkward. It seems like I start the conversation in texting. He always responds.
In our second conversation he asked me why I work so many jobs, what was going on with my life that made me want to work so much and not have any down time. I told him why & he told me that is what I want others to think and he asked me for the real reason. I sent him a text back and nothing & then I seen him the next day and we talked for a minute. I told him there are other reasons why and he said he seen that in my text.
When I was leaving he told me to text him, So I did a couple days later and he talked to me for a minute & that was it... Seen him at work yesterday and he said hi & talked to me for a few minutes and then excused himself to go out on the floor to start work.
What should I do? Should I even try to text him anymore? If I see him at work say hi and let it be? I just had this feeling he was into me at first but now I am thinking maybe he never was really into me. He was just being friendly.
Please help me out here..
Emily on October 21, 2017:
Ok so there's this guy who's been driving me insane for over a year now and i could really use some advice.
We first met last year at college. He was dreamy. We started talking and texting all day long. He would say sweet things. I had visited his dorm twice and while there he just wanted to kiss A LOT. He kept asking what turns me on and stuff. We never did anything sexual cause I told him I don't do that upon just meeting somebody. He would walk me to my car and he would just look at me in a dreamy way and smile whenever he saw me. But then he disappeared after talking for a week. I would text him and get no response.
Four months later he hits me up, we basically go back to how we were but now he was different. That dreamy look in his eyes was gone. He wasn't anything like a gentleman like before. He wouldn't even walk me out the door anymore unless I begged. When we were together he would just be on his phone. He didn't want to kiss me. And he was more sexual. Like REALLY sexual. And we had oral sex but nothing more. I think I only went through with it cause I felt pressured. He stayed around for a week again, disappeared again, and blocked me on his social media. I was hurt. But 6 months later he's back now confessing his feelings for me. Talking about how he's been thinking about me, how he's been missing me, and why do I never hit him up? Do you have a boyfriend now? Could we go back to how things used to be? I went over again cause I wanted to talk face to face to see if he was serious about being serious this time. But when I was there, he said he's not an affectionate lovey-dovey type of guy. He's just chilling and wants a "bond" with someone. Felt like he was implying he didn't want a relationship just a bond. He tried be sexual again but I told him no cause this is literally the first day I've seen you in months. He said he wants me to spoil him? I tried to get him to spit out what he meant by that. He won't text me now unless I text him first. I just don't like these games. I feel like he wants me to chase him or something. Can you give some clarity to my situation? Why does he keep leaving/coming back and why every time he's back he's a different person? Why does he do these things? Also, sorry for the long paragraph. :( I just wanted to be detailed. Thank you for your time, I really appreciate it.
Roxy on August 27, 2017:
So I was dating a guy for 5 months and I found out he was cheating on me with another girl.They've been “ dating" for 2 months and idk what to do....I love him a lot and don't want 2 loose him..but at the same time...idk ....any suggestion?
Dalky on August 22, 2017:
My heart is broken right now. I think he is looking for a way to tell me we cant talk anymore or so.
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on August 17, 2017:
Send my regards to poor, ugly Natalie.
Don't focus too much on someone who is taken. Go do you, enjoy what you have, and find someone who is available and likes you for you. And also, don't sweat it. There is plenty of time to do other things of interest besides dating.
Lauren on August 16, 2017:
Well a guy has been ignoring me he's been dating an ugly girl named Natalie she's not very pretty but I am just his friend but I'm not sure for how much longer he might be trying to be a good boyfriend but he's been an awful friend in the process
Is he interested on August 01, 2017:
Hi, I met this guy while on vacation. Long story short...we went back to my place, talked for a few hours and had sex, and again in the morning. I had a week left on my vacation and we tried several times to get together. His ex wife was away and he had his kids (ages 3, 7 and 9). His ex wasn't supposed to be gone as long as she was and it made it difficult for us to see eachother again. We talked nearly everyday and both felt there may be something there than just a one night stand. I go back to the same vacation spot regularly as I have a house there. I mentioned I'd be back in October and he seemed excited about the idea again. Since I've been back, we've texted and I asked him what a good weekend was for him. His response 'I'm sure there is a day in there that'll work, as you already know my stuff is just all over the board. Which is why I don't like to say yes and then I have to cancel . I hate having to do that.' So I responded with saying I understand, kids first. I also asked if this was too much pressure for him and he was certainly under no obligation as like I said I come back regularily anyway. I also made it clear we don't have to stay in touch if that's what he prefers. His response 'No pressure at all, like you said similar boats. Just always a busy schedule. :-) is this someone who wants to stay in touch, am I over reacting?
Riley Trovillion on July 11, 2017:
I've been talking to this guy for a month (he is long distance) and things were going great until the two week mark hit and he said he fell out of love with me and canceled the plans we made to hangout the day before.. I got upset and left.. he chased after me and texted me for two days not giving him a responds. He said he would do anything to be my friend again so I forgave him. We started acting all flirty and he said he wanted everything back as a couple of days went on. he also said he started to grow feelings for me once again. I asked if he wanted to call me, and he said he was busy playing video games with his friends which he does all day long for a week (his parents are divorced and he only has video games at one parents house) and for that reason we got in a huge fight. He denied everything about the flirting and wanting everything back and said he only wants to be friends for now.. Now I'm getting huge anxiety because his texts seem like he is bored of me in a way. Like he is replying with a one word text and he takes long to reply.. I don't know what to do.. I also feel like he doesn't want to hangout but I might be overthinking it. And with the long distance, he is only an hour away and my friends live there too. I just don't want to waste my time if he doesn't like me. Hopefully this made sense..
Mary on May 28, 2017:
I met this guy on bumble, it's been a month and we've gone on two dates. In the beginning he would text me everyday, and vice-versa. And the two dates have gone pretty well. And after that he really doesn't text me much anymore. I am the one usually intiating a conversation. He did once text me he was thinking about me but since then he hasn't texted me. I have been texting him. I don't know what went wrong or why he has kinda backed up with his text messages. Any advice!? Should I just move on and leave it alone. I haven't texted him since Thursday and he hasn't bothered to text me either.
Suna on May 27, 2017:
Hi so i noticed you give advice.
I am in need of advice myself. I started talking to this guy in April we met on a dating site. He seemed interested by saying i'm the whole package for him and that he really likes me, and he tells me to be patient with him because he gets really busy. Well..He stopped texting me all of a sudden.. After a month passes he texts me out of the blue saying he's sorry he went mia and that he was dealing with alot of stuff which i understood. Well we started to text again for about five days straight, we talked about our parents and how much we loved each other and we had finally made us official..well he stopped texting again..like he disappeared on me again.. We plan to meet in June..but i lost hope in that since he stopped texting me..What should i do? i love this guy..He claims he loves me too..but he hasn't texted me at all..since like a week ago or two weeks ago..Please help.
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on May 25, 2017:
I'm sorry, Lanna. That doesn't sound great.
Lanna on May 24, 2017:
Hey Andrea! So it's been like a month and a half and still nothing!! He hasn't reached out at all
Wendy on May 13, 2017:
What if he says he doesn't want to see u n u r dating him
Lanna on April 25, 2017:
I wish I did have a way of knowing anything else of what is going on, no I don't have his Facebook or any other social media
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on April 25, 2017:
In a typical situation, I would say a few days makes sense. If it is going longer than that, then something is up. Now, the thing is -- sometimes guys do a disappearing act and then they'll come back to try to woe you a couple of months down the road, or years. I've had it happen myself where I didn't think a guy would interact with me again, but then popped up for no clear reason at all. So yes, you can say that he might pop up. The longer the two of you knew each other, spent time together, and have lives interacting in similar spheres -- the more likely he will show up. But if it was a connection made through something online or a bar -- you might not have as good of a chance of him popping up randomly. I know that can be anxious because you just don't know what time frame you're dealing with and then you have feelings, it would be nice to have closure on what happened and move forward one way or another. I can say online dating produces the most ghosting. Do you have him on Facebook or other social media accounts? His silence is really strong here. I do suggest not contacting him since you sent so many messages and let him come back to you. Perhaps table it for about 30 to 45 days-ish and then send a random, short, happy text / email to see if he'll reply. I wish we knew why he was not interacting with you. I hope this helps.
Lanna on April 24, 2017:
Is there a standard length of time that it would reasonably take to determine whether or not he is just taking some space or gone for good? I mean I am not going to be waiting around for him I have to focus on myself, but how long do guys usually need? Like a few weeks? A few months?
I find it hard to imagine he would be done for good, when he had said so many things about how he did like me and enjoy talking to me. But his abrupt silence two weeks ago still makes me feel like there is still that possibility he is done for good ..so I don't want to get my hopes up with the hope he'll come back either. I am just unsure of what I might want to expect as far as time...
Would I be an idiot to start talking to him again if he suddenly resurfaces in a month...2months? A lot of girls online seem to say that if a guy ignores them when he's mad then they are just done with him if he come around a few weeks or months later. I just wish he could have said whether he needed time or if he was done for good! There's like no way of knowing and since email was our own mode of communication it just feels final. I have no clue how long the average guy needs to "shut off" to deal with stuff!
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on April 24, 2017:
I am here for you! Feel free to use me as a resource, and I'll try my best to give you some solid feedback.
Lanna on April 24, 2017:
Thanks so much for your insight Andrea! You've been so awesome listening to all my whining about this guy. If I'm ever in a Chicago I'll have to buy you a coffee!
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on April 23, 2017:
Since you have been the one asking for the dates, you have become the initiator in the budding relationship. This is actually a pretty easy fix, partly because you two are on good terms and on the same page. You can simply send him a text that the next time he wants to go out, he should ask you out. Once you become the initiator in the relationship, things tend to stick that way. He'll probably always respond to you. If that's not the dynamic you are wanting, and you want him to pick up the slack more, then kindly tell him, and he'll get the idea. You can just say FYI: you like to be asked out.
I would say 100% he is interested in you. I don't see anything sticking out that should concern you at this point.
Ash on April 22, 2017:
So here's my dilemma and I'll try to keep it short and to the point.
Known this guy for 18+ years cause I'm good friends with his sister. Then she and I kind of faded. A few months ago he started talking to me over Facebook. We talk about everything. Good bad serious funny. It's always been super casual but with flirting. Then we didn't talk for a while and then their dad passed away. (They knew it was coming). I went to the funeral to support them and be there for the family. He really loved having me there. So we kind of reconnected. He works out of town so we continued to talk over Facebook.
Then things started to get more serious and heated in a good way. He admitted to always having a crush on me since childhood and wanting to hook up. He also said he's looking for that someone to settle down with and it has to be the right girl. But with his dad passing he's not emotionally ready yet so we should take things slow.
He ended up coming home for a week and wanted to see me. So we went out shooting with his friends and had so much fun. We ended up kissing and getting a little handsy. Then I didnt hear from him the next day but I texted him instead thanking him for the fun day and asking him if he was free to do something again before he goes back to work. He says yes and the next day we go out and have a date. It was so much fun, we laughed and talked we joked around and some serious conversation like a real couple. He payed for everything so I'm sure it was a date. Anyone who saw us must have thought we were a couple based on all the PDA and hand holding, kissing etc. He also told me he will be working in town for a couple more weeks now. But now 2 days have gone by and again no text to set up another date. Everything is so much fun and comfortable when are together because we are such old friends things just click. He's never been the best at initiating convos because he's shy but he always replies to mine within a few minutes. And then we can talk all day. I don't know what's up with him. I don't want to ask him out again i want him to ask me. He can clearly see that I'm interested and he seems like he is too but then why won't he ask me to go out? Is he interested or not should I ask him again?
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on April 22, 2017:
People shut down social media sites when they need to focus their time and energy somewhere else. Sometimes when you are dealt some bad cards, then you don't want to see other people's happiness. There are a lot of reasons people will close accounts. Maybe it had become too stressful, maybe they need to do some soul searching, maybe they got into something they shouldn't have. Some people don't want their social media habits to distract them from their real goals. It sounds like he is hitting a refresh button on life and trying to figure out what he wants, what will be his next goals, etc. His mind is probably cloudy, and even if he does like you -- he doesn't have good focus right now. People delete these accounts because their minds are foggy.