What His Texts Really Mean
Sometimes it is hard to tell whether someone likes you or not. This article will help you figure out when a guy isn't interested in you, based on how he texts. Of course, all rules have exceptions, and some people are just bad at texting. Be careful not to jump to conclusions too quickly or overanalyze things.
Generally, men are not into double meanings and tend to communicate in a straightforward way. Other ways of communicating, especially face-to-face, will give you a stronger grasp on the situation, so remember to also look for other indications outside of texting, such as body language. If texts are all you have to go on, don’t worry: even these brief messages contain lots of clues.
The following is a list of signs you can use to determine if he leans more toward liking you . . . or not being interested at all. I’ve divided them into three categories:
- Totally Not Interested
- Friend Zone
- Booty Call
Totally Not Interested
If these signs describe your communication with a guy you like, you’d be better off moving on and finding someone else to interact with. You deserve better.
- He never responds to anything you ever send him. (He may have blocked you.)
- There is absolutely no interaction. Zero interaction means zero things are happening. There's no momentum. That doesn't mean you should send hateful or aggressive messages, because negativity is worse than zero.
- He regularly takes 24 hours (or longer) to reply. It's okay to wait a couple of hours or so because we all have busy days, or if it was late and he went to bed, the next morning. But if there's no response, it might not mean he hates you, but you might not be a priority of any kind.
- He only texts you about business matters or school matters.
- His texts are colorless. There is no joking, no flirting, nothing. They sound boring and typical.
- He never texts you anything unnecessary or random. If his text has a reasonable context, then it isn't necessarily an excuse to get in touch.
- He'll avoid even the most minute personal details about himself. He won't tell you about his job, though most guys love to talk about their job.
- He texts you only for homework answers.
- None of his texts inquire into your well-being. There will be no message asking how are you, if you had a good morning, or if you did well on a test.
- He never invites you to anything through texting.
- When he cancels, he doesn't bother to give you a reason.
- He doesn't care that you are sick.
- He doesn't text more than once every three months. Generally, I would say more than once a month, but there are some exceptions. Such as, if he suddenly starts talking to you out of nowhere and you never see him, he probably has an interest in you. He may be so far removed from your daily life that texting too often may come off too random.
- He consistently only sends one-word responses when context would require a longer response. This may mean he reads your messages but doesn't care to write as much. You may want to try calling him or another mode of communication in case this is just a texting problem.
- There is no emotion to the texts. No smileys. No emojis. No exclamation marks. Nothing. He never congratulates you on anything.
- He doesn't seem to know who you are. He may ask, "Who is this?"
- He asks you to stop texting him or to leave him alone; he is too busy. If he asks you to stop texting, it means you are texting too much and he can't handle it, and it may be getting in the way of things he wants to do for himself whether job-related or social networking.
- Everything he sends to you is mean, hurtful, and rude. He clearly wants you to go away.
- He consistently uses the wrong name for you.
- He calls you offensive names and sends inappropriate content.
- You text him, and he deletes you off social media.
- He flat out tells you he isn't interested in you.
- He consistently talks to you about one of your friends. He is likely interested in your friend.
- He's more interested in texting you about fart or burp jokes. He isn't trying to make a good impression.
- He only hits you up for money.
- He sends annoyed-looking GIFs.
- He compares you to awful or boring things, like a three-speed oscillating fan.
- You know he got something cute, like a puppy. He doesn't bother talking to you about it and doesn't send you pictures. If he liked you, talking about the puppy would be the easiest ice breaker.
- All of his communication is the thumbs-up emoji.
- He keeps asking you, "Who cares?"
Sometimes a guy really likes you as a friend and that's it. There are lots of possible reasons for this. Maybe he likes someone else or maybe you don't match his sexual orientation. One way or another he just doesn’t see you as dating potential. If this is the case, my advice is, again, to try to find somebody else. You could even enlist his help.
After all, since he likes you as a friend he’d probably love to set you up with one of his guy friends. Anyway, the following are signs that he respects and admires you as a friend, but he isn’t looking for anything more.
- His texts are more like what he would send to his guy friends, like rambling about beer, sports, and weird smells. No guy would resort to this unless he is inept. He isn't trying to make a good impression.
- He refers to you more frequently as "buddy" or "bro." The qualifiers he uses to define you should be self-explanatory. Guys don't generally use the word "buddy" if they see you as romantic potential, unless this guy is losing it and really likes you and has no idea what to say anymore. (You don't want to date someone this inept.)
- If he gave your phone number to one of his guy friends and that guy starts texting you a lot. . . then the friend likes you, not your interest.
- If he cancels on you frequently that isn't a great sign. If you like someone, you make time for them. It's also not a great quality as a friend if they cancel on you often.
- He asks for advice on other women. This screams he sees you primarily as a friend.
- He tells you that his friends are free to hang out with you instead. He sees you as a buddy. He thinks you should hang out with his friends because he doesn't want you to be lonely. You are part of the friend group.
- You see him write lengthy text messages but you never receive any. Clearly, he has the capacity to do so, and he can be heartfelt, but just isn't to you.
- If he seems to be mainly interested in men, he might be your gay best friend. But remember, bisexuality exists!
- When you make a flirty pass, he doesn't respond back in a flirty way; instead, he keeps it strictly friendly. Worse, he says you are being weird. That may mean he doesn't get it or like what you're saying. He isn't connecting.
- He uses the word "platonic" in reference to you.
- Guys don't usually pour out all their feelings in text form. If he does, he may have some interest in you beyond friendship.
- He doesn't normally hang out with you alone. He doesn't invite you to a one-on-one hang out.
- He is in a relationship with someone else. (What are you doing?)
- He mostly contacts you to take care of his pet because you're his pet sitter.
- He asks for your advice on homework.
- He mostly invites you through text to things like poker night, sports night, beer night, fishing night.
- He doesn't send you selfies.
- He doesn't use romantic emojis like hearts, roses, people holding hands.
- You send him a flirty text, and he tells you to cut it out already.
- He flat out tells you he only sees you as a friend.
If you really like a guy and he only sees you as a booty call, it’s better to know sooner rather than later, so you don’t get too attached. If you want an emotional, committed relationship but he only wants to get frisky, you should probably keep your distance to protect your feelings. The following are signs that he is only interested in a casual or physical relationship.
- He only texts you between the hours of 12:00 am to 5:00 am.
- He has a girlfriend, is in a relationship of some kind, or is married. You don’t want someone who is willing to flirt around while they’re in a relationship; this has bad indications written all over it. He would do the same to you if in a relationship, so just look right past him. There are other great guys out there, just wait.
- He sends a lot of selfies, especially with his shirt-off or even more personal than that.
- If you see an "I love you" text to someone else on his phone, beware that he may be cheating or is about to cheat.
- He accidentally texts you information that was meant for another woman.
- You out-text him by a large percent, such as 80%. When texting, the communication should appear fairly even from text to text. At least, there shouldn't be a noticeable one-sided texter. You may occasionally double text, especially if he does this himself, and generally if the messages are related. Do not over-text. It's overwhelming and comes off as needy.
- He never apologizes if he is late to respond. He never apologizes, period. If he has never used the phrase "I'm sorry" when doing something hurtful, it's because he isn't emotionally involved enough to care, and he has too big of an ego.
- If he sends you texts being upset about the cleanliness of his home, he probably is just annoyed with how you left his house (unless he’s your roommate of course.)
- He has a sexy nickname for you and never uses your real name.
- If he only sends you mass texts it probably means he wants to socialize and party. And you are invited!
- If he suddenly stops texting you, be cautious. He may be busy, but he may have also found interest in someone else.
- If he regularly cleans out his text messages from you, that may mean he has no attachment.
- If he demands certain services of you such as backrubs, sandwiches, and other odd things this may mean he likes you or sees you as his maid. You can playfully joke back with him or tell him off; how he responds here is key.
- If he says you are similar to one of his exes, be wary. This may mean he automatically doesn't like you. It can also mean that you are his type...or that you are close enough to his ex that it is like dating her anyway.
- He asks you what you're wearing.
- He texts you late at night asking if you're free.
- He doesn't get jealous if you show interest in someone else. He has a no-strings-attached policy.
- You two never talk about personal matters. He never brings up work and nor do you. It would be uncomfortable to talk about personal things.
- He doesn't make real plans with you. You just get spontaneous messages to come over to his place.
- He only compliments you for your body.
- He always wants the same thing when you go over to his place.
- You say something emotional over text, and he responds, "We're not in that kind of relationship."
- You only see him on a certain day and at a certain time. He likely sees someone else or other people on different days.
- He is way too curious about your exercise routine and how you stay fit.
- He texts you pictures of sleazy clothes and asks if you would try them.
- You text him, "I miss you." He texts back, "Okay."
- He flat out tells you that you're not relationship material.
- He tells you he isn't interested in a relationship right now. He only wants something casual. (Take him for his word.)
- He would be really upset if you came over to his house in bland clothes.
- He texts you pictures of pretty people. (This guy is kind of weird.)
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
Questions & Answers
Question: I met this guys through my friend. He is from another city while I live in a province. We chatted every single minute. He is confusing me. He's sweet and understanding to me. He always uses smiley emoticons as he sends me pictures about what he is doing and where is he. Is there a possibility that he likes me too? By the way, he liked a post a while ago in Facebook, but he took 2 hours to reply to my chat. I'm confused?
Answer: Yes, I think he likes you. He is consistently communicating with you which is a strong sign. Don't worry so much about how quickly he responds but whether he responds to you consistently.
Question: I met this guy on IG. He texted me, and I replied to him nicely until he asked another question. I needed him to explain himself, but he saw the message and didn't reply. I got so mad and due to that I sent him harsh texts, and now he is not replying to my texts. I've apologized several times, but still not replying. What should I do please?
Answer: He has moved on. You came on too strong when you were being harsh.
Question: What should I do if there is a boy in my class, and I don’t really understand him? He always hugs me when he sees me, but he never makes eye contact. He sometimes tells me he loves me, but he says it with a smile. I can't understand if he is interested in me or he sees me as a friend?
Answer: This sounds very young. I think you should just keep things positive and not worry at this age about relationships. Even if they are all around you, relationships can wait.
© 2014 Andrea Lawrence