How to Tell Through Texting If He Doesn't Like You (45 Signs)

Updated on June 15, 2019
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I'm a Midwesterner with a background in writing and media. My articles are mainly about relationships, dating, and heartbreak.

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What His Texts Really Mean

Sometimes it is hard to tell whether someone likes you or not. This article will help you figure out when a guy isn't interested in you, based on how he texts. Of course, all rules have exceptions, and some people are just bad at texting. Be careful not to jump to conclusions too quickly or overanalyze things.

Generally, men are not into double meanings and tend to communicate in a straightforward way. Other ways of communicating, especially face-to-face, will give you a stronger grasp on the situation, so remember to also look for other indications outside of texting, such as body language. However, if texts are all you have to go on, don’t worry: even these brief messages contain lots of clues.

The following is a list of signs you can use to determine if he leans more toward liking you . . . or not being interested at all. I’ve divided them into three categories:

  1. Totally Not Interested
  2. Friend Zone
  3. Booty Call

My favorite texts to receive from guys are:

See results

Totally Not Interested

If these signs describe your communication with a guy you like, you’d be better off moving on and finding someone else who better appreciates your interest. These signs indicate a guy who either is completely uninterested in you in any way, or who is just a complete asshole who doesn’t care if he acts inconsiderate. Either way, you deserve better.

  1. He never responds to anything you ever send him.
  2. There is absolutely no interaction. Zero interaction means zero things are happening. There's no momentum. That doesn't mean you should send hateful or aggressive messages, because negativity is worse than zero.
  3. He regularly takes 24 hours (or longer) to reply. It's okay to wait a couple of hours or so because we all have busy days or, if it was late and he went to bed, the next morning. But if there's no response, it might not mean he hates you, but you might not be a priority of any kind.
  4. He only texts you about business matters or school matters.
  5. His texts are colorless. There's no joking, no flirting, nothing. They sound boring and typical.
  6. He never texts you anything unnecessary or random. If his text has a reasonable context, then it isn't necessarily an excuse to get in touch.
  7. He'll avoid even the most minute personal details about himself. He won't tell you about his job, though most guys love to talk about their job.
  8. He texts you only for homework answers.
  9. None of his texts inquire into your well-being. There will be no message asking how are you, if you had a good morning, or if you did well on a test.
  10. He never invites you to anything through texting.
  11. When he cancels, he doesn't bother to give you a reason.
  12. He doesn't care that you are sick.
  13. He doesn't text more than once every three months. Generally, I would say more than once a month, but there are some exceptions. Such as, if he suddenly starts talking to you out of nowhere and you never see him, he probably has an interest in you. He may be so far removed from your daily life that texting too often may come off too random
  14. He consistently only sends one-word responses when context would require a longer response. This may mean he reads your messages but doesn't care to write as much. You may want to try calling him or another mode of communication in case this is just a texting problem.
  15. There is no emotion to the texts. No smileys. No emojis. No exclamation marks. Nothing. He never congratulates you on anything.
  16. He doesn't seem to know who you are. He may ask, "Who is this?"
  17. He asks you to stop texting him or to leave him alone; he is too busy. If he asks you to stop texting, it means you are texting too much and he can't handle it and it may be getting in the way of things he wants to do for himself whether job related or social networking.
  18. Everything he sends to you is mean, hurtful, and rude. He clearly wants to get rid of you.
  19. He consistently uses the wrong name for you.
  20. If he refers to you as a "bitch," he most likely isn't interested in you in a good way . . . or at all.

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Friend Zone

Sometimes a guy really likes you as a friend, but is uncomfortable with the idea of being more. There are lots of possible reasons for this. Maybe he likes someone else, he’s gay, or he just doesn’t see you that way. If this is the case, my advice is, again, to try to find somebody else. You could even enlist his help.

After all, since he likes you as a friend he’d probably love to set you up with one of his guy friends. Anyway, the following are signs that he respects and admires you as a friend, but isn’t looking for anything more.

  1. His texts are more like what he would send to his guy friends, like scratching his balls, farting, and talking about beer. No guy would resort to this unless he is inept or does not care to impress you at all.
  2. He refers to you more frequently as "buddy" or "bro." The qualifiers he uses to define you should be self-explanatory. Guys don't generally use the word "buddy" if they see you as romantic potential, unless this guy is losing it and really likes you and has no idea what to say anymore.
  3. If you receive a text from one of his friends and that friend says that your interest gave him that phone number . . . your interest probably doesn't like you, but his friend does.
  4. If he cancels on you, don't immediately jump to conclusions. See if he would like to visit with you some other time and try to reschedule. Try to see what are the reasons why he canceled. Guys, unfortunately, cancel a lot but that doesn't mean they are not interested in you. There could be a number of reasons they have to cancel, so don't sweat it too much.
  5. He asks for advice on another woman. This screams he sees you primarily as a friend.
  6. He tells you that his friends are free to hang out with you instead. This means that he may enjoy your company, but if he is passing you off to his friends this may mean the guy is more interested in seeing somebody else and he doesn't want to give the wrong impression. He likes you enough that he'd want you to mix in with his group of friends, which is a compliment. And you may find someone who is more in synch with you from the friend group.
  7. You see him write lengthy text messages but you never receive any. Clearly, he has the capacity to do so, and can be heartfelt, but just isn't to you.
  8. If he seems to be mainly interested in men, he might be your gay best friend. But remember, bisexuality exists! Don’t make assumptions.
  9. When you make a flirty pass, he doesn't respond by being flirty or enthusiastic; instead, he keeps it strictly friendly. Worse, he says you are being weird. That may mean he doesn't get it or like what you are saying. He isn't connecting.
  10. He uses the word "platonic" in reference to you.
  11. Guys don't usually pour out all their feelings in text form. If he does, he may have some interest in you beyond friendship.

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Booty Call

If you really like a guy and he only sees you as a booty call, it’s better to know sooner rather than later so you don’t get too attached. If you want an emotional, committed relationship but he only wants sex, you should probably keep your distance to protect your feelings. The following are signs that he is only interested in a casual or physical relationship.

  1. He only texts you between the hours of 12:00am-5:00am.
  2. He has a girlfriend, is in a relationship of some kind, or is married. You do not want someone who is willing to flirt around while they are in a relationship; this has bad indications that he would do the same to you if in a relationship, so just look right past him. There's other great guys out there, just wait.
  3. He only texts you pictures of his body, especially his chest or “dick pics.”
  4. If you see an "I love you" text to someone else on his phone, beware that he may be cheating or is about to cheat.
  5. He accidentally texts you information that was meant for another woman.
  6. You out-text him by a large percent, such as 80%. When texting, the communication should appear fairly even from text to text. At least, there shouldn't be a noticeable one-sided texter. You may occasionally double text, especially if he does this himself, and generally if the messages are related. Do not over-text. It's overwhelming and comes off as needy.
  7. He never apologizes if he is late to respond. He never apologizes, period. If he has never used the phrase "I'm sorry" when doing something hurtful, it's because he isn't emotionally involved enough to care and he has too big of an ego.
  8. If he sends you texts being upset about the cleanliness of his home, he probably is just annoyed with how you left his house (unless he’s your roommate of course.)
  9. If he only sends you mass texts it probably means he wants to socialize and party. And you are invited!
  10. Avoid putting too much expectation on the whole situation because that may intimidate the guy away from you.
  11. If he suddenly stops texting you, be cautious. He may be busy, but he may have also found interest in someone else.
  12. If he regularly cleans out his text messages from you, that may mean he has no attachment.
  13. If he demands certain services of you such as backrubs, sandwiches, and other odd things this may mean he likes you or sees you as his maid. You can playfully joke back with him or tell him off; how he responds here is key.
  14. If he says you are similar to one of his exes, be wary. This may mean he automatically doesn't like you. It can also mean that you are his type...or that you are close enough to his ex that it is like dating her anyway.

Does he like me?

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Questions & Answers

  • I met this guys through my friend. He is from another city while I live in a province. We chatted every single minute. He is confusing me. He's sweet and understanding to me. He always uses smiley emoticons as he sends me pictures about what he is doing and where is he. Is there a possibility that he likes me too? By the way, he liked a post a while ago in Facebook, but he took 2 hours to reply to my chat. I'm confused?

    Yes, I think he likes you. He is consistently communicating with you which is a strong sign. Don't worry so much about how quickly he responds but whether he responds to you consistently.

  • I met this guy on IG. He texted me, and I replied to him nicely until he asked another question. I needed him to explain himself, but he saw the message and didn't reply. I got so mad and due to that I sent him harsh texts, and now he is not replying to my texts. I've apologized several times, but still not replying. What should I do please?

    He has moved on. You came on too strong when you were being harsh.

  • What should I do if there is a boy in my class, and I don’t really understand him? He always hugs me when he sees me, but he never makes eye contact. He sometimes tells me he loves me, but he says it with a smile. I can't understand if he is interested in me or he sees me as a friend?

    This sounds very young. I think you should just keep things positive and not worry at this age about relationships. Even if they are all around you, relationships can wait.

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    • profile image

      Morgan 

      4 days ago

      I'm very confused about this guy I have been talking to for about 2 weeks now, and we haven't gone on a date just yet because I have been very busy. Every morning he will send me a picture of himself and I will send him one and we'll text for a bit. Sometimes later in the day he will send me another picture and I will do the same. He has called me cute, pretty, etc every now and again but hasn't done it in the past couple of days. My problem is that I wonder if I'm overthinking and is this guy actually interested in me?

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      9 days ago from Chicago

      Send him something non-aggressive, like a picture of a humorous cat or a potato. You could say you're sorry if you confused him, but you were enjoying what you had before the drunken night. Try to keep things amicable. He might not really know where to put you in his life. Maybe not a picture of a potato... but something humorous. Don't spam his messages. Try to act secure, not insecure. He may see you as casual and too much talk about these things might seem too heavy.

    • profile image

      Francis 

      2 weeks ago

      I am 22, he is 30. He likes girl my age he has said. So, we were casual Hooking up, and this happened three times. He asked me to watch a movie with him one night and also even cuddled with me one time. This all happened in a matter of 2 and a half weeks. I sort of liked him but my ex was also A huge part of myheart. One night I got Very very drunk to a black out point. He was on a vacation at the time and I drunk texted him saying I need him I love him and all of this crap that Was meant to go to my ex. I apologized the nextmorning and have bot spoke to him since. Its been 4 days.... I mean Can he really be that mad? I don't understand Why he would be we were a casual hook up but I dont want to live embarrassed for the rest of my time being, he can at least just tell me off so I have closure hut nope. What does this mean?

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 weeks ago from Chicago

      Sounds friendly. He probably likes talking to you and such, but isn't really sure if anything can be more serious at this time. Continue to keep the communications positive and stay in touch.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 weeks ago from Chicago

      Spend more time together and don't analyze Internet habits as much. If you're not getting enough attention or time, this might be running flat and why you're analyzing these things so much. He may also have slowed down on checking these things if he is secure in the relationship.

    • profile image

      Chlo 

      4 weeks ago

      I met this guy at my church a couple years ago and I came back to church. I told him I liked him before then i said I liked him again then texted him I didn’t like him that way again. I think I ruined my chance, I should never have told him! Later, I apologized to him and asked if we could be close friends and he said “We’ll see☺️“ then we went swing dancing and he gave me a hug for the first time in 3 months. Flash forward 3 months and I talked to him today about how he is and asked after my well being. We talked for about 7 hours on and off. Then I asked if I could give him my number and he said “sure, no promises though, I am busy these days, but I can make time”

    • profile image

      Lora ren 

      6 weeks ago

      I met this guy on IG we started dating but now he rarely check on me n wait for me to text him n i think am really in love with him, what should I do

    • profile image

      Ying 

      7 weeks ago

      There is a guy who was my neighbour before.

      We are barely see each other but texting.

      I was very new in that environment and he is the only one i know.

      I always text him whenever i need helps ( Roughly once a month).

      And i asked him a favor and he taught me how to drive in Highway road (that was the only time we met by person). He was always reply quickly but never initiated the text.Honestly i have crush on him for a while and it was so deeply. But i had never asked him out because i was way too shy since i have never flirted with guys and i don't know how to. Meantime, i am having health issue and don't know need to surgery or i was about to disability or may be something worse. I was too upset and thinking what if i die without tell him my feelings.. i would regret what if he couldn't know how much deep feelings i have for him,,, i know it was so stupid. I was trying to tell him so many times, but i couldn't make it. when i text him regular, he just replied in short message.So i have no courage to tell him about my feeling.

      luckily i do not need surgery but need to get treatment asap and i was alone here. So my family asked me to go home as soon as i can. But if i go home i will lost my job in US. .And one night, i was super drunk since i was so stressed at that moment. ( i am very seldom drink bcoz a few wine can make me get drunk)

      And stupidly confessed my feeling by text without mentioned his name. He didn't respond at all. In the next day,i was shocked by myself and text him and say sorry , that i was wrongly send . Actually i did not wrongly send . i lied bcoz of embarrassed. After that we run to each other couple times but i ran away due to embarrassing. I texted him that i will be go home soon. he replied after a day ''Be safe'' That's it !!!!!!! i knew that he hate me cuz i am annoying. but how could he not even asked me the reason. So at the day i left , i texted him on the flight, that i am sorry for what i did and made him mad . actually i was not wrongly send those drunk texts. and he replied and said he was too tired since he work too much and give me his fb acc and said i can always contact him.

      I was very sad and cried when thinking i have no chance to see him again. it took me about 5 months for treatment , i thought i was unable to go back US since i only can out of US 6 months. i didn't contact him at all. Wish he will contact me but he's not. During those times i had a gut that he is the one for my life. So i was trying very hard to get recover since i need to get back US within 6 months if not i will lost the chance. Finally i get back to US.it's not wrong that He is the reason make me get back to US.

      Unfortunately he is not there anymore.. i didn't know where he is ..

      I texted him and he reply.

      But when i said i'm here back to US. He didn't respond me after that.

      And the conversation was end.

      So i added him from facebook . He accepted my request, but never talk to me.

      I am not sure it's my fate , i saw his car at my fri apartment.

      I send a text from facebook and tell him i saw him, asked if he moved.

      He just replied Yes.. but he didn't ask me anything.

      Didn't respond the rest.

      I haven't see him in person yet.

      How would i ask him out when he barely respond my text.

      In this moment , i am so confusing.

      What am i for him??

      Since i realized He is the one of my life and i can't give up ..

      So i am willing to pursue him even i never chase guys before.

      And here is a point, i don't know if he dating someone..

      But the way he respond my text is make me no confident at all.

      Am i just wrong?????

      Should i just unfriend him on facebook..

      Should i just move on or fight for make him be my man..

      My guts keep on pushing me to pursue him. once in a life time.

      Should i just ask him straight if he have someone else and let him officially know my feelings..????

      If i give up on him, would i be regret one day...

      Or he just not the one and it is just my stupid guts...

      should i start chasing him...?????????

      It make me so serious and confuse....... T-T

    • profile image

      Jasmine Clarks 

      8 weeks ago

      Me and a boy have been talking for about a month now. We text each other a lot at the beginning and had long conversations about how we felt and it was really sweet. But this week he seemed to be busy all the time and I text him and he texts back. Ik he has a lot to do but when we first started talking it was like he made time for me but now we don't have long conversations like we did. I miss that and i am wondering does he just not care anymore. But he tells me he loves me every night and hugs me everyday. At the begining he told me he wanted us to hangout but i have not gotten the guts to ask my parents. Please help me and i am not as young as you think so i need help in this relationship!

    • profile image

      Mel 

      2 months ago

      My boyfriend hasn’t texted me in a day or was gonna he 2 if I wouldn’t have texted him last night but barley replied this morning with a what’s up ? Does that mean he’s not interested

    • profile image

      pls answer 

      2 months ago

      ok, so there's this guy. And idk he is confusing. We've been friends for about 6 months and he's the type of guy who jokes around a lot and is very loud at school, etc. And he is nice to me and stuff like he always offers me help and says yes if I ask for favors. But sometimes I feel like I might annoy him.

      He is a very confusing texter. He always leaves me on read but he leaves everyone on read and sometimes (only on Snapchat) he takes forever to reply. And idk what to think, cause sometimes we are super close but other times I just feel like he doesn't like me (as a person).

      And recently, I asked him for a favor, but he kept forgetting so I would remind him every morning and this one time I reminded him the night before but he didn't even answer me until the next morning. Personally idk if that's just because he wasn't active or because he was ignoring me.

      I think my main question is, am I annoying him and how do I tell if he's a bit annoyed. And how do I change that?

    • profile image

      unwanted 

      2 months ago

      Theres this guy in my class. we just started talking but hes into hentai, anime & everything. Everytime we have a convo hes like wanting pics or talking bout how hot these other girls are.. but he says that he wants to be more than friends but doesnt want to rush it & i understand. He makes my heart flutter sometimes, like sometimes hes caring and actually talks about things other than hentai and girls. But most of the convo is about the subjects I dislike and i dont wanna tell him that cus it means we'll have to stop talking cus he thinks i find him weird and everything. He sometimes replies so fast, other times slow. what do i do man.

    • profile image

      IHaveIssues Yougotemtoo 

      3 months ago

      I recently met a boy on vacation! Hes so sweet and such a gentleman! I see him act nervous around me sometimes! One of his aunts called him over and asked him something. He got embarrassed and looked at me. His aunt began to smile at me. Than latter that night his family kept joking saying "walk her back like a gentleman" and etc. He kept acting even more nervous and even said "they're being a little loud" and he even texting me so his family wouldn't hear "Lol im sorry". He did end up walking me back and in return for him being so nice I kissed his cheek. He blushed and smiled in the same spot for at least 30 seconds. The next day was the day i had to leave. I thought he was asleep and before we left i sent him a quick message saying we are leaving. He freaked out over text and said he over slept and that he was sorry. I said we can quickly turn around to say bye. He insisted we go so we dont hit traffic and said he was serious.We ended up saying by to him anyway and i could tell he was happier with that. However we both live an hour apart. I do most of the conversation starting and he rarely is first to text. I think he likes me but is maybe too shy. What do i do and what do you think?

    • profile image

      SAMColl 

      3 months ago

      I met an older guy recently and we have been talking over FB messenger everyday then he just stopped messaging me. That was a week ago. I left it a few days then sent him a message stating I liked some work he had done and nothing. It wasn't really a message requiring a response but still nothing. He is still liking posts on my FB. I'm not sure what to do. My friend says I should message him something but I don't want to be annoying, look desperate or be ignored again especially if he has stuff going on that i don't know about. I will be seeing him at a work thing next month and I really don't want it to be awkward. Any tips and/or advice would be greatly appreciated x

    • profile image

      nina 

      3 months ago

      Hi-I've been talking to a guy for about 2 months online and now text-he seems really nice and genuine-HOWEVER-when i message him-he will only reply to 25 % or less of the content of the message, usually the easiest part of the message.I will give an example so, i message, 'hey-i sadly failed my exam and remember that apartment i mentioned and the deposit-it sold out-did you manage to get to work?it's really hot here today and i can't be bothered walking lol' His reply 'It's hot here too lol'

      I called him up on this in a nice polite way and he said he was busy and will try-however he did it one day and then went back to the same pattern. I was going to meet him for a drink-but now, i feel wary and slightly resentful as it's more or less being ignored 80% of the time i communicate. He does message first sometimes with a hey hows things im in work etc..' Any ideas of what maybe happening here?

    • profile image

      Maiaspicer 

      3 months ago

      My crush keeps adding me back and unadding me on snapchat after I asked if he is playing me . My freind asked him if he had feelings for me but he didint say anything. The girl that told me he was a player said that he told people he thought she was out of his league and didint go through with it which was last year.He keeps checking in on my snaps every other day it been at least 6 months and he still does. Il trying to build the courage to tell him that I did have a crush on him but j keep deleting it .everyone says he likes me but I'm not sure Is he playing with me or is he just being shy or insecure. Or is he playing hard to get ? Well now he has stipped after i told him i used to like him and that he was making me uncomfortable he read it for 29 seconds then unadds me . He hasent added me back since then

    • profile image

      Samantha 

      3 months ago

      So I have a boyfriend .. we’ve only been dating a couple of days we talk everyday and he reply’s very fast and he tells me he loves me but I still get the feeling that he doesn’t like me ☹️

    • profile image

      May 

      4 months ago

      So there is this guy I have been talking to that I met on a dating app. We been talking and he usually reply to my text within and hour. He doesn’t initiate any convo. Is he just a bad at texting or is he not interested in me

    • profile image

      Betty 

      4 months ago

      There’s a guy I met on ig and we used to text loads and when we met up we both really liked each other and it was very genuine, he started messaging me so less like once in a day and he’ll be active on ig, when he did message me back eventually he’d tell me he misses me and sent me kiss emojis, I got annoyed that he messaged me after hours so messaged him saying about how I feel about him avoiding me so I told him my goodbyes and he never got back. I’m really down about it and he never got back to me at all

    • profile image

      VL 

      5 months ago

      So i know this dude and we've been messaging for a while. But he's got a new job and not replying and leaving me on read. But when i said to him that i hadn't heard from him in a while he kept apologising and seems eveywgere atm and he thought i didnt reply not him. Each time we talk it's in massive paragraphs up to maybe 3 at a time. We we're alot more flirter before his friend admited to liking me but i think his friend likes someone new. Whenever we say bye once seeing each other we hug too idk if that means anything. But we also have a inside joke and i posted a thing about to hope he sees and 2 hrs later he posted a thing about the same thing.

    • profile image

      Ana 

      5 months ago

      Hey there so this guy told me he wanted to hangout when he got back from Mexico so when I found out he was back I messaged him and he said he would see me later but he never did

    • profile image

      Andrea 

      5 months ago

      Hey,

      So I know this guy from work/the gym and we always talk. Sometimes I will catch him staring at me, and we always flirt. We fake fight and he teases me whenever he gets the chance. I had casually gotten his number from him and invited him tona party of mine in a week or two, which he said he would most likely come and I told him I'd love to see him there. It's all fun and I always feel like he might like me back in person, but he never responds to any texts. He answered the first time, but after that he never did. I waited a couple days and tried again, and he didn't answer either. I have liked him for a while, and I am really confused. Based off of texts, he doesn't like me, but in person it feels different. One of his friends said he doesn't like using snapchat (which I also tried and he did the same thing as the texts), so I thought he might not like using his phone, but I see him pull out his phone sometimes. What does this mean and what should I do?

    • profile image

      Alex K. 

      5 months ago

      So the text conversation went like so:

      ME: hey can I tell you something?

      Him: sure

      ME: I like you

      Him: As a friend?

      ME: no

      I haven't gotten any texts back and I saw that he saw the last text. What does this mean?

    • profile image

      5 months ago

      Hey. So there is this guy that I have known since younger grades, we’ll call him D. D and I flirt sometimes but not in a way that he compliments me or anything. It’s more like we just tease each other. I don’t know how he sees it. Maybe he doesn’t even see it as flirting. Anyway, I really really like him. I have for a while. I don’t think he knows that I like him, though. I won’t see him for a while because next year we are going to different schools. I wanted to tell him how I felt, so I texted him. I said that I liked him. I said I didnt care how or if he reponds, I just needed to tell him. Get it off my chest. I wanted D to know how I felt. So anyway, I sent the text, and he responded with “yah” and then, in a new text, “ok” I think this means that he doesn’t like me back, but he is a hard guy to read. I just want to know what it means. Thank you for listening to my rant. :)

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      5 months ago from Chicago

      Keep chatting and improving the connection, but don't get yourself too attached.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      5 months ago from Chicago

      Sounds like a player. Ignore him. Move on for something better.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      5 months ago from Chicago

      Don't get too caught up in analyzing texts. People are busy and generally look at texts casually.

    • profile image

      Aliya21 

      6 months ago

      so there is this guy i know through a friend. we chatted a little and he uses emojis. it seems like hes being his true self instead of trying to be someone to impress me. he gives me suggestions on what to watch and where to hang out. he lives in another city so i cant meet in person. i wonder if im in the friendzone. also i wonder if im just an option and not the only one. what should i do? continue or forget him?

    • profile image

      Charlotte 

      6 months ago

      So this boy hit me up on insta its going good he asks for my snap and we talk there i tell my friend about him and she decides to talk to him they get to talking more and more with her and begins to lag a lil on me he asks her sexual questions and that shattered me but he asked her if I had feelings for him she said no and he said "good" like ???? but he compliments me daily calling me beautiful and how much i mean to him WHAT DO I DO PLEASE HELP

    • profile image

      Aurora 

      6 months ago

      There is someone I used to know during my school days and we don't talk much. But sometimes the way he looks at me feels so weird. Anyone have ever looked at me like that. One day I texted him first, he also replied but all of sudden he disappeared from the conversation. Then he didn't reply me at all. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me. But he is not that kind of person to act like that. I feel so confused. Someone help me

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      7 months ago from Chicago

      No, you're not overthinking things but you need a little more consistently for this to go anywhere.

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      Always worrying 

      7 months ago

      I've been talking to this guy we've been out on dates twice each time the date lasted five or more hours. He's extremely busy so we don't get to talk much especially during the day. On a date he said we were seeing each other I'm pretty sure he likes me.

      Am I just over thinking things??

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      Lily 

      7 months ago

      I met him on fb.He knew i like him...he would send me smileys and we talk about future carrier also about well being.Nowadays he took forever to reply to my text even if he is online.So i stop texting but he text me again and i respond..but he still does not reply quickly. What should i do

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      Danielle 

      7 months ago

      I met this guy on the chat line when I was 25 years old. We talked almost everyday for 8 months. Then we lost touch for 7 years. We reconnected through the same chat line. He asked me to meet him but I wasnt ready. We started to argue a lot, well I did because he barely texted me and most of the time when he did, it was sexual. When I would tell him how I felt, he would totally ignore me everytime. Then he would reach back out to me a year later and he would show the same behavior, not texting much, or having a real conversation. Of course when it was sexy time then he would show all interest. Me getting mad at him and him ignoring me, then reaching back out to me another year later kept happening through out the years. I'm now 36 years old and still the samething. I've been afraid to meet him because he doesn't seem to care. This last time he actually had a real conversation with me and expressed he feels like I'm bs because I keep making excusses as to why I won't meet him so he can't take me serious and I do get that but from the start when we reconnected It didn't feel the same. It felt more sexual. So the other day someone shot a gun by my house and I felt it was targeted towards me because I was having a lot of problems with my next door neighbor who just moved out 2 hours before the gun shot. When I told him he didn't seem that concerned and didn't check up on me the follow day. So I texted him that following day saying "I'm glad I reached out to you this time because It's obvious you dont care. His response was "Dam oh ok, well im not bout 2 go threw dis im sik feeling like shit but it is what it is. Take care cuz im threw with all da BS n games and Im glad what u tx cuz I aint goin threw dis shit again n again. Thanx.

      I am so hurt because now I know it's finally over. The reason I haven't let go because I always blamed myself for not meeting him.

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      A curious girl 

      7 months ago

      So there is this guy that I like and he is in a different grade then me but my friends decided to get us to know each other by giving me his Instagram and we’ve been texting for 4-5 months and we text alot about stuff we say goodmorning and goodnight and he claims to not like anyone and he doesn’t text alot of people which makes me feel special because he texts me and usually him and I ask how our day has been I asked him if he wanted to talk in person and he said yea it’s kinda cute because every time we see each other in the hallway we just look at each other and the day before I asked him if we could talk in person my friends and I were walking home and they were telling me to talk to him because he was in front of us and I said no I’m too nervous and then one of my friends called him and he came over next to us and she told him “aye this girl want chu” and he just started smiling and I was so mf embarrassing because I was blushing and they were all telling him so yeah and I still had the courage to text him the next day do wish me luck cuz ima talk to him tomorrow and does he like me or not???!?

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      Unknow 

      8 months ago

      So I have an online guy that added me from an website. We got on so well like he was amazing but we both did ignore each other aswell but recently I deleted my acc and after 6 months I msged him on Instagram with a big message but he didn’t reply but he went on the old account we use to talk on and messaged me on it. Did he like me?

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      Kathrine 

      10 months ago

      I liked this person for a while now and I finally told them through text and when I told them they said im confused and just told them to forget about it since I must've freaked them out and said if we could just be friends and said k that's fine but when we meet face to face he smiles at me and stares at me.He laughs at my jokes (even if they arent funny) I feel like im being led on.

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      Rebecca 

      12 months ago

      I don’t get this guy, when we are together he is always sitting so close to me or starring at me every chance he gets. He always stands close or tries too. I decided to text him and he only replied in one worded texts. If I’m lucky, 3 or 4 worded messages. I kinda like him but I’m just confused.

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      anonymus 

      15 months ago

      what should i do i dont know if this guy has a gf but every time he responds to my text his words are super common and im really into him a even when im trying to get his attention he does not do anything but say yeah or ok and since he is alone im rwally into him no matter what.

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      Mila 

      16 months ago

      So theres this guy i've known for three years now we never really talked because he used to be very rude,he's really changed this year, he added me on social media and we chat almost every day, but its really short, i like him but im afraid to show it so i kind of come off rude

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      Katherine 

      16 months ago

      There's this guy I met a couple of months ago. Every time we see one another in person it's amazing. We're talking making out and flirting. He messages me but is so dry. He rarely talks to me in person when there's other people among us. He says he misses me & when I mentioned that he needs to grow up and change he says he will but I haven't really seen a difference. I'm sure he doesn't like me. What do I do?!

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      A guy 

      17 months ago

      is it weird that I texted a guy I was seeing about a year ago we havent talked since and now we talk sometimes he's saying he's busy in stuff andlike he said I was saying bullshit and stuff meaning someone is making up bullshit because he wanted to steal him from me! it seems how tf do I fix that????!!!!!

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      John 

      17 months ago

      #6 cracks me up. If he never texts things that are "unnecessary and random" he doesn't like you? So are you ladies finally admitting that your texts are unnecessary and random? #15 is funny too. So you want emoticons, smiley faces, and "emotion"?

      Well here's some news for you: Don't waste my time with your female shit. Texting is for conveying needed information, nothing more. I swear, texts from women are the most annoying things on the planet. Please grow up and leave us alone.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      17 months ago from Chicago

      HE LIKES YOU A LOT. You should let him know whether you like him.

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      Ashley 

      17 months ago

      Hello, there is this guy I know. We met back in our Senior year. He is kind, considerate, joking and thoughtful. He always asks me about my plans in the day, what I'm doing, and texts me all day, every day. After our graduation, he went to the graduation night that I went to and stayed by my side the whole night, lending me his towel when we went swimming. He always walks me to class at the college we go to and when we're together he gives me no space whatsoever. We talk about our future plans and he talks about me being in them without admitting it. He is always smiling or grinning down at me and even leans forward down close to my face if he didn't hear something. Does he like me?

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      Clarissa 

      18 months ago

      Okay so I know this guy from a while ago and we text a lot and every day but like I really don’t see him making an effort Tom see me and stuff like that like his friends Willa bother him about me and people will tell me that he likes me but and also he says kind of shy but he really lets go with me and talks with me a lot and some girls also even say that ge treats me different from them or other girls but i really don’t know like his text so will Ben like bothering me about something or like making fun of me as a joke (that’s how he is) like he’s really funny and jokes stound a lot but with me it’s teasing do you think he likes me?

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      Patricia 

      18 months ago

      I know dis guy for about a long time probably childhood and now few months back he started talking to me all of a sudden ..and he is my church member..my dad has his number he too has my dads ..I texted him telling his dp was good..so he replied back tellin thank you with

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      18 months ago from Chicago

      Stop looking into how long it takes someone to respond to you -- that's demanding. If they're responding back to you consistently, that is more important.

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      alittlesad 

      18 months ago

      I met this guy through a friend of mine, and we had a drunken sexual night together and again in the morning while we were sober. I drove him home that day and we had good conversation in the car and it didnt feel awkward at all to me. We got to his place and he asked for my number, invited me back later that night to watch westworld with him and our friends and hugged me goodbye. So i've been texting him and he doesnt use emojis, he uses the occasional "lol" and i always text him first. He told me I could text him even when he was at work the next day after one night we were texting for awhile, so he wanted to talk to me again. I feel annoying to him always being the one to text first, and I told him I felt that way. I said to let me know if im texting too much because i feel like im becoming an annoyance. and that i just wanted to get to know him better. and he said he didnt find it annoying and not to worry. Do you think he likes me? im just really confused, i feel like he should text me first. thanks!

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      Justhopeful 

      18 months ago

      I really like this guy and we text a lot but barely talk in school. I am always the first one to text. When we do text he doesn't seem as interested as I would hope. He will say he is sorry if he takes a while to respond. Which happens often. I sometimes feel like im being needy but i really don't mean to be. I asked him out and he said no but before he said that he would probably date me and that i was cute. Do you think he secretly has a crush on me but is denying it? I am really sad and trying to ignore him to see if he will say something to me but it hasn't happened yet for like 2 days...I son't know what to do.

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      justcurious12345 

      19 months ago

      So im talking to this guy, we text everyday and sometimes he's super cheesily sweet and he's very teasing but sometimes it takes him a long time to reply, 6 hours at most, he always sleeps before me and some times he just ignores me when im talking on the phone with him but even though he does that, he still apologizes and he still remains the same, he says he misses me but can I really gurantee he likes me?

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      19 months ago from Chicago

      Sounds like you need to give this time to find out how you really feel. Explore your feelings first, write a journal, write out things for why you like him. Perhaps it will fade in time.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      19 months ago from Chicago

      Is he attending to this child at all, because if so -- Baby Mamma will never leave the picture.

      I think what you need to do is have a sit down conversation with this person, talk about your feelings and concerns. Let him know that's what you want to talk about and he should prepare what he wants to talk about, this way you two can discuss whether you want to continue something, or not. If you don't have the maturity for this conversation -- then this is a bust.

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      Jackie 

      19 months ago

      I have a crush on this guy who was very mean to me last year but now he is nice to me whenever we talk but we dont talk mich and we are not really friends either. I dont know why i have this crush nor what to do

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      ac24 

      19 months ago

      I met this guy a few months ago and we hit it off. He would flirt with me, use emojis on texts, said goodmorning and goodnight, we talked everyday, all day. Then... his family pressured him into "trying to work things out" with his baby mamma. I dont have a problem with him having a baby. But after him and her got back together. No more cute messages or anything. Flash forward to now, I saw him for the frst time since his kid was born and it was like nothing had changed. We just talked for the two hours that we had together ((he lives an hour away)), we both have busy lifes but we plan to meet up again. Since I saw him again he's been texting me all day and he flirts with me sometimes. My question is... should I keep talking to him and try to make it work since him and his baby momma are totally done now? or how slow should I take this.. I really like him and he says he likes me but he doesn't show it like he used to. help? thank you.

      Im in desperate need of advice.

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      alexis 

      19 months ago

      I met this guy a few months ago and we hit it off. He would flirt with me, use emojis on texts, said good morning and goodnight, we talked everyday, all day. Then... his family pressured him into "trying to work things out" with his baby mamma. I dont have a problem with him having a baby. But after him and her got back together. No more cute messages or anything. Flash forward to now, I saw him for the first time since his kid was born ((4 month)) and it was like nothing had changed. We just talked for the two hours that we had together ((he lives an hour away)), we both have busy lifes but we plan to meet up again. Since I saw him again he's been texting me all day and he flirts with me sometimes. My question is... should I keep talking to him and try to make it work since him and his baby momma are totally done now? or how slow should I take this.. I really like him and he says he likes me but he doesn't show it like he used to. he said he really liked how i looked that day ((that was the first time hed seen me with makeup on)) help? thank you.

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      Elaine tan 

      22 months ago

      Hi :) I developed a crush last year on a typical guy in my class who rarely talks and an introvert. Before I liked him he would sometimes talk to me and tease me onced. During the holidays I texted him first by sending random videos and text him quite often soon he initiated text too. Examples: sending random videos, telling me what he is doing, even one time he said he think he saw me at xxx place . Once school started this year, he doesn't text him anymore.. but sometimes I caught him staring at me even my friends spot him looking at my direction and glancing at me. I'm confused . Should I move on?

    • profile image

      M&M 

      22 months ago

      I have this friend (more like crush but yeah he's also my friend) who was my classmate since we were elementary, separated from another class in high school and then became classmate again from our senior year high school. After graduation, I never heard anything from him. Until now he made an account because he is working abroad. He chatted me to say hi and greeted me a happy new year. Until we keep on chatting everytime he goes home from is work. I even opened to him about my depression and he just keeps on asking question about it which i am really thankful. I gotta admit I had a crush on him since high school and we never had this kind of conversation ever. I don't know if he's just replying to me out of sympathy or just being there as a friend. Now I don't know what should I follow up to his reply because I accidentally wrong sent to him

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      Christina 

      22 months ago

      Hi :) I met this guy on some social media, he texted me first, he also texted me the day after and we had a casual, funny conversation. I said in a funny way that i will move to Africa and he said no, we will go together in Cuba, Jamaika etc. In general, he is asking me questions about my hobbies, stuff i like etc. So, the third day i was the one who texted him. He asked me how my day was, which medical courses are my favourite (i am studying medicine), he also said he isn't having a great day, he was going to watch some tv series and i said i am not gonna bother you any further and he said we will talk another time. So, how should i know if he is interested in keep texting me? How can i not become dull through texting? Because texting is really not my greatest asset.

      Thank you!

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      22 months ago from Chicago

      You should keep texting him. If he consistently does so, he probably likes you.

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      Tracey 

      22 months ago

      Guy texts me everyday who works at my place. We've been out. He's still texting. I'm confused if he likes me

    • profile image

      Nutella 

      22 months ago

      I've been friends with a guy from another country. Long distance friendship. Now he no longer text me like 1 month and 18 days. What should I do..move on? And why so

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      Theresa 

      2 years ago

      I meet this guy at work. We were in orientation and he kept smiling at me and looking at me. I couldn't help but notice. He is a cutie I thought. I ran into him when I was walking into work & he talked to me a for a minute. When we do see each other he says hi & ask how things are and always has a smile for me it seems.

      We talked on Facebook messenger and he flirted and talked to me for about half hour..

      Then we chatted again on messenger & then he said I like to talk a lot & then said well you text a lot. Now mind you I barely texted him or talked to him. I kind of took offense to it. I was like really, I do? First time I ever heard that.

      Now it feels a little awkward. It seems like I start the conversation in texting. He always responds.

      In our second conversation he asked me why I work so many jobs, what was going on with my life that made me want to work so much and not have any down time. I told him why & he told me that is what I want others to think and he asked me for the real reason. I sent him a text back and nothing & then I seen him the next day and we talked for a minute. I told him there are other reasons why and he said he seen that in my text.

      When I was leaving he told me to text him, So I did a couple days later and he talked to me for a minute & that was it... Seen him at work yesterday and he said hi & talked to me for a few minutes and then excused himself to go out on the floor to start work.

      What should I do? Should I even try to text him anymore? If I see him at work say hi and let it be? I just had this feeling he was into me at first but now I am thinking maybe he never was really into me. He was just being friendly.

      Please help me out here..

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      Emily 

      2 years ago

      Ok so there's this guy who's been driving me insane for over a year now and i could really use some advice.

      We first met last year at college. He was dreamy. We started talking and texting all day long. He would say sweet things. I had visited his dorm twice and while there he just wanted to kiss A LOT. He kept asking what turns me on and stuff. We never did anything sexual cause I told him I don't do that upon just meeting somebody. He would walk me to my car and he would just look at me in a dreamy way and smile whenever he saw me. But then he disappeared after talking for a week. I would text him and get no response.

      Four months later he hits me up, we basically go back to how we were but now he was different. That dreamy look in his eyes was gone. He wasn't anything like a gentleman like before. He wouldn't even walk me out the door anymore unless I begged. When we were together he would just be on his phone. He didn't want to kiss me. And he was more sexual. Like REALLY sexual. And we had oral sex but nothing more. I think I only went through with it cause I felt pressured. He stayed around for a week again, disappeared again, and blocked me on his social media. I was hurt. But 6 months later he's back now confessing his feelings for me. Talking about how he's been thinking about me, how he's been missing me, and why do I never hit him up? Do you have a boyfriend now? Could we go back to how things used to be? I went over again cause I wanted to talk face to face to see if he was serious about being serious this time. But when I was there, he said he's not an affectionate lovey-dovey type of guy. He's just chilling and wants a "bond" with someone. Felt like he was implying he didn't want a relationship just a bond. He tried be sexual again but I told him no cause this is literally the first day I've seen you in months. He said he wants me to spoil him? I tried to get him to spit out what he meant by that. He won't text me now unless I text him first. I just don't like these games. I feel like he wants me to chase him or something. Can you give some clarity to my situation? Why does he keep leaving/coming back and why every time he's back he's a different person? Why does he do these things? Also, sorry for the long paragraph. :( I just wanted to be detailed. Thank you for your time, I really appreciate it.

    • profile image

      Roxy 

      2 years ago

      So I was dating a guy for 5 months and I found out he was cheating on me with another girl.They've been “ dating" for 2 months and idk what to do....I love him a lot and don't want 2 loose him..but at the same time...idk ....any suggestion?

    • profile image

      Dalky 

      2 years ago

      My heart is broken right now. I think he is looking for a way to tell me we cant talk anymore or so.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      Send my regards to poor, ugly Natalie.

      Don't focus too much on someone who is taken. Go do you, enjoy what you have, and find someone who is available and likes you for you. And also, don't sweat it. There is plenty of time to do other things of interest besides dating.

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      Lauren 

      2 years ago

      Well a guy has been ignoring me he's been dating an ugly girl named Natalie she's not very pretty but I am just his friend but I'm not sure for how much longer he might be trying to be a good boyfriend but he's been an awful friend in the process

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      Is he interested 

      2 years ago

      Hi, I met this guy while on vacation. Long story short...we went back to my place, talked for a few hours and had sex, and again in the morning. I had a week left on my vacation and we tried several times to get together. His ex wife was away and he had his kids (ages 3, 7 and 9). His ex wasn't supposed to be gone as long as she was and it made it difficult for us to see eachother again. We talked nearly everyday and both felt there may be something there than just a one night stand. I go back to the same vacation spot regularly as I have a house there. I mentioned I'd be back in October and he seemed excited about the idea again. Since I've been back, we've texted and I asked him what a good weekend was for him. His response 'I'm sure there is a day in there that'll work, as you already know my stuff is just all over the board. Which is why I don't like to say yes and then I have to cancel . I hate having to do that.' So I responded with saying I understand, kids first. I also asked if this was too much pressure for him and he was certainly under no obligation as like I said I come back regularily anyway. I also made it clear we don't have to stay in touch if that's what he prefers. His response 'No pressure at all, like you said similar boats. Just always a busy schedule. :-) is this someone who wants to stay in touch, am I over reacting?

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      Riley Trovillion 

      2 years ago

      I've been talking to this guy for a month (he is long distance) and things were going great until the two week mark hit and he said he fell out of love with me and canceled the plans we made to hangout the day before.. I got upset and left.. he chased after me and texted me for two days not giving him a responds. He said he would do anything to be my friend again so I forgave him. We started acting all flirty and he said he wanted everything back as a couple of days went on. he also said he started to grow feelings for me once again. I asked if he wanted to call me, and he said he was busy playing video games with his friends which he does all day long for a week (his parents are divorced and he only has video games at one parents house) and for that reason we got in a huge fight. He denied everything about the flirting and wanting everything back and said he only wants to be friends for now.. Now I'm getting huge anxiety because his texts seem like he is bored of me in a way. Like he is replying with a one word text and he takes long to reply.. I don't know what to do.. I also feel like he doesn't want to hangout but I might be overthinking it. And with the long distance, he is only an hour away and my friends live there too. I just don't want to waste my time if he doesn't like me. Hopefully this made sense..

    • profile image

      Mary 

      2 years ago

      I met this guy on bumble, it's been a month and we've gone on two dates. In the beginning he would text me everyday, and vice-versa. And the two dates have gone pretty well. And after that he really doesn't text me much anymore. I am the one usually intiating a conversation. He did once text me he was thinking about me but since then he hasn't texted me. I have been texting him. I don't know what went wrong or why he has kinda backed up with his text messages. Any advice!? Should I just move on and leave it alone. I haven't texted him since Thursday and he hasn't bothered to text me either.

    • profile image

      Suna 

      2 years ago

      Hi so i noticed you give advice.

      I am in need of advice myself. I started talking to this guy in April we met on a dating site. He seemed interested by saying i'm the whole package for him and that he really likes me, and he tells me to be patient with him because he gets really busy. Well..He stopped texting me all of a sudden.. After a month passes he texts me out of the blue saying he's sorry he went mia and that he was dealing with alot of stuff which i understood. Well we started to text again for about five days straight, we talked about our parents and how much we loved each other and we had finally made us official..well he stopped texting again..like he disappeared on me again.. We plan to meet in June..but i lost hope in that since he stopped texting me..What should i do? i love this guy..He claims he loves me too..but he hasn't texted me at all..since like a week ago or two weeks ago..Please help.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      I'm sorry, Lanna. That doesn't sound great.

    • profile image

      Lanna 

      2 years ago

      Hey Andrea! So it's been like a month and a half and still nothing!! He hasn't reached out at all

    • profile image

      Wendy 

      2 years ago

      What if he says he doesn't want to see u n u r dating him

    • profile image

      Lanna 

      2 years ago

      I wish I did have a way of knowing anything else of what is going on, no I don't have his Facebook or any other social media

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      In a typical situation, I would say a few days makes sense. If it is going longer than that, then something is up. Now, the thing is -- sometimes guys do a disappearing act and then they'll come back to try to woe you a couple of months down the road, or years. I've had it happen myself where I didn't think a guy would interact with me again, but then popped up for no clear reason at all. So yes, you can say that he might pop up. The longer the two of you knew each other, spent time together, and have lives interacting in similar spheres -- the more likely he will show up. But if it was a connection made through something online or a bar -- you might not have as good of a chance of him popping up randomly. I know that can be anxious because you just don't know what time frame you're dealing with and then you have feelings, it would be nice to have closure on what happened and move forward one way or another. I can say online dating produces the most ghosting. Do you have him on Facebook or other social media accounts? His silence is really strong here. I do suggest not contacting him since you sent so many messages and let him come back to you. Perhaps table it for about 30 to 45 days-ish and then send a random, short, happy text / email to see if he'll reply. I wish we knew why he was not interacting with you. I hope this helps.

    • profile image

      Lanna 

      2 years ago

      Is there a standard length of time that it would reasonably take to determine whether or not he is just taking some space or gone for good? I mean I am not going to be waiting around for him I have to focus on myself, but how long do guys usually need? Like a few weeks? A few months?

      I find it hard to imagine he would be done for good, when he had said so many things about how he did like me and enjoy talking to me. But his abrupt silence two weeks ago still makes me feel like there is still that possibility he is done for good ..so I don't want to get my hopes up with the hope he'll come back either. I am just unsure of what I might want to expect as far as time...

      Would I be an idiot to start talking to him again if he suddenly resurfaces in a month...2months? A lot of girls online seem to say that if a guy ignores them when he's mad then they are just done with him if he come around a few weeks or months later. I just wish he could have said whether he needed time or if he was done for good! There's like no way of knowing and since email was our own mode of communication it just feels final. I have no clue how long the average guy needs to "shut off" to deal with stuff!

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      I am here for you! Feel free to use me as a resource, and I'll try my best to give you some solid feedback.

    • profile image

      Lanna 

      2 years ago

      Thanks so much for your insight Andrea! You've been so awesome listening to all my whining about this guy. If I'm ever in a Chicago I'll have to buy you a coffee!

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      Since you have been the one asking for the dates, you have become the initiator in the budding relationship. This is actually a pretty easy fix, partly because you two are on good terms and on the same page. You can simply send him a text that the next time he wants to go out, he should ask you out. Once you become the initiator in the relationship, things tend to stick that way. He'll probably always respond to you. If that's not the dynamic you are wanting, and you want him to pick up the slack more, then kindly tell him, and he'll get the idea. You can just say FYI: you like to be asked out.

      I would say 100% he is interested in you. I don't see anything sticking out that should concern you at this point.

    • profile image

      Ash 

      2 years ago

      Hi

      So here's my dilemma and I'll try to keep it short and to the point.

      Known this guy for 18+ years cause I'm good friends with his sister. Then she and I kind of faded. A few months ago he started talking to me over Facebook. We talk about everything. Good bad serious funny. It's always been super casual but with flirting. Then we didn't talk for a while and then their dad passed away. (They knew it was coming). I went to the funeral to support them and be there for the family. He really loved having me there. So we kind of reconnected. He works out of town so we continued to talk over Facebook.

      Then things started to get more serious and heated in a good way. He admitted to always having a crush on me since childhood and wanting to hook up. He also said he's looking for that someone to settle down with and it has to be the right girl. But with his dad passing he's not emotionally ready yet so we should take things slow.

      He ended up coming home for a week and wanted to see me. So we went out shooting with his friends and had so much fun. We ended up kissing and getting a little handsy. Then I didnt hear from him the next day but I texted him instead thanking him for the fun day and asking him if he was free to do something again before he goes back to work. He says yes and the next day we go out and have a date. It was so much fun, we laughed and talked we joked around and some serious conversation like a real couple. He payed for everything so I'm sure it was a date. Anyone who saw us must have thought we were a couple based on all the PDA and hand holding, kissing etc. He also told me he will be working in town for a couple more weeks now. But now 2 days have gone by and again no text to set up another date. Everything is so much fun and comfortable when are together because we are such old friends things just click. He's never been the best at initiating convos because he's shy but he always replies to mine within a few minutes. And then we can talk all day. I don't know what's up with him. I don't want to ask him out again i want him to ask me. He can clearly see that I'm interested and he seems like he is too but then why won't he ask me to go out? Is he interested or not should I ask him again?

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      People shut down social media sites when they need to focus their time and energy somewhere else. Sometimes when you are dealt some bad cards, then you don't want to see other people's happiness. There are a lot of reasons people will close accounts. Maybe it had become too stressful, maybe they need to do some soul searching, maybe they got into something they shouldn't have. Some people don't want their social media habits to distract them from their real goals. It sounds like he is hitting a refresh button on life and trying to figure out what he wants, what will be his next goals, etc. His mind is probably cloudy, and even if he does like you -- he doesn't have good focus right now. People delete these accounts because their minds are foggy.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      You probably did confuse him with the ticket stuff, because it comes off with a lot of mixed signals. But maybe it was too sudden for you that he was coming. He probably blames himself for that timing. It sounds like you were uncertain about what you wanted and are having a tough time juggling all these thoughts, some of which are contradictory. I don't think you screwed anything up by saying exactly where you are. It might have been a lot for him to process, and being completely silent and going into his shell isn't exactly helpful for you, but it may have just been easier for him that way to deal with his own thoughts. No, I don't think this is a total loss. I think you need to step away from it, and in his own time when he knows what he really wants he'll contact you. But don't keep contacting him or you'll make him feel like he should stop talking to you period. He knows his silence really stressed you out, and he probably doesn't know what to say next. Long distance is also hard to read because there could be more variables in this that you are not seeing.

    • profile image

      Lanna 

      2 years ago

      Interesting side note: I noticed he had deactivated his profile on the site we had met around the time things started getting shaky (which would have been around the time he had his huge loss at work).

      Then on the day we were supposed to meet, he deleted like almost aaaall his content from his profile. (It's a non-dating site). Today, the account was completely deleted.

      So, I am wondering if he is just on shut down mode. He must be in a mental place where he just can't deal with anything else external. I have no clue what happened after his loss at work, but I'm wondering if things didn't get any better. He had like 1k followers I don't know why he would just shut everything down like that!

      So if this is the case, that everything is just too much, and he is just hiding from everything, is there a tiny chance he

      Might reach out in the future?

      Trust me I'm not going to hold my breath! I am going to focus on myself...but I am curious from a guys perspective- if he is shutting down a large social media account he was very active on, would this be indicative of him just stepping away from the world at the moment? Maybe he could still have feelings for me he just can't process/handle anything right now so he is cutting everything else away. Idk!!

    • profile image

      Lanna 

      2 years ago

      Final Update:

      I'll backtrack a bit. Last mon he had messaged me to say he bought a flight but wasn't sure if he'd be on it and he'd let me know by Friday. On Thursday night I had a bit of a meltdown and said now probably wasn't the right time, he was probably too busy, and he should just relax and we could plan another date. I didn't hear from him during the day on Friday so I sent him another message Friday evening saying I hoped he didn't take that the wrong way, that I still wanted to see him, I just thought maybe the timing was wrong that's all. I didn't get a reply. Then on Sunday (when he was supposed to fly out) I sent two msssages asking if he was still

      Coming and saying I was antsy because I didn't know his plans. No response.

      I waited until Wednesday am (the day we were supposed to meet) to send him a very long winded message asking why he couldn't have just told me it was too much right now or give me some kind of heads up that he wasn't going to be coming? I said I hadn't been trying to make things more complicated when I told him now wasn't the best time - I was trying to be considerate of his stress and inadvertently I must have upset him by telling him not to come when he had bought a ticket. I just couldn't understand why he couldn't communicate to me and let me know if he wasn't coming or not. I basically ended he message saying there wasn't enough of me to go around to myself or my kids let alone something or someone that is illusionary. I said I wouldn't be expecting communication from him anymore and I'd take his silence as an indication that he was all set with whatever we had.

      THEN I sent another message later that night saying I get why he probably said screw It to coming ...he was dealing with enough stress and I had made him more stressed by putting more uncertainty in our meeting and then my indundating him with messages made things worse. I added that I just wish he hadn't seen me like this, so vulnerable and falling apart from my current situation and that I wish we could do this all over, and that if we had met when I was single and doing well on my own things would have been magical. Then I said I wished him well...

      Here's what I know:

      I was too needy. I was too indecisive. I wrote too many messages in a time when he was too stressed. He probably just couldn't handle me and my shit. He's never even had a real girlfriend before so this was shaky ground to begin with. He's still very young and probably wants time to himself and to date. This was all too much too fast!

      Here's what I want to know from a guys perspective, Andrea:

      From everything you already know about all this, did I completely 100% F this up? I have moved the email app where we communicate to a different folder so I can't see it...but I'm not sure if I should just delete it and be done with it!

      Is there any chance on earth, from a guys mindset, that if you liked a girl and connected well with her, but you knew it wasn't the right time and you're both going through so many things and you know you're both just completely not in the right place yet - would you completely write that girl off forever?? I mean with my behavior and the things I've done, can I just expect that I will probably never hear from him again? Or will just taking some time and space for me to grow and become a better person myself...there could be a chance he might reach out again?

      I know I can't reach out to him anymore...I sent like 9 messages over the past 9 days and I've been ignored. I know he's been online and seen them. I also know he must be incredibly pissed/stressed from a huge financial loss at work...so do I just give him space and time and hope in the back of my mind that maybe he'll reach out again in a few months?

      Or did I completely destroy any chance of him wanting to talk to me again with my craziness?

      Or am I really not crazy, and I should just forget him because in a way he ignored me and kind of stood me up, so I don't want to be with a guy like that anyways??

      I am so confused, because he always seemed like a gentleman to me ...I didn't think he would just ignore me and not come...

      The last message he had sent to me was he missed me and was sending a huge hug...so it must have been my fault to screw everything up

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      Fascinating. Hmmm... you are definitely missing information to this story. There is no telling what happened. I say try reaching out to him again, without mentioning any of the white elephants in the room. See if he'll at least speak to you. Try to write something positive in line to his interests.

    • profile image

      Lanna 

      2 years ago

      UPDATE: Last time I heard from him was almost 9 days ago. He had explained his company had a major loss, but that he had booked a ticket for this past weekend, he just wasn't sure he was going to be on it, and that he missed me and was giving me a hug. He said he'd let me know by Friday for sure. Well the night before (Thurs) I sent him a message saying he should just stay where he was with all he had going on. I said maybe it wasn't the right time and I was glad he could refund his tickets, and that he should try to relax and enjoy the city. Well I didn't hear from him so I sent another message saying I wasn't trying to avoid our visit I just wasn't sure it was the right time since he had a lot going on and we haven't been talking much lately. Still nothing. On Sunday (the day he was supposed to leave), I messaged him twice noting that he either didn't read my messages, or he had and decided against coming, or that he had read them and was crazy enough to see me anyways. After the whole day went by, I sent another message saying I was antsy and feeling impatient because I had no clue what's going on! I have kids and need to figure out a lot of things if I was going to see him.

      Guess what?? NOTHING! I haven't heard from him since he said he booked a flight. Now I will probably never hear from him again, or if I do I honestly don't think I can even trust what he says. Wtf?? If something came up WHY wouldn't he tell me?? I don't know why he'd fly down here and NOT tell me so that doesn't make sense either. So confused...how can a guy just leave a girl hanging like that??? You don't tell her you bought plane tickets but aren't sure if you'll be on the plane and then just never communicate with her!! I thought he was a gentleman. I thought he was different.

    • profile image

      Anonymous1984 

      2 years ago

      I met this man on a dating website in November and the first time we met there was an instant connection--we spent 8 hours together, just talking. We dated for a few months and then he told me that he did not see a relationship happening for us, but that he still wanted us to remain friends. I agreed to this and we continue to see each other once a week to every other week and we still very much enjoy each other's company--the last time I saw him we spent 9 hours together. I must admit that we continue to be physically affectionate with each other, but are not sleeping together. I get the vibe he is just scared and wants to take things slow because he doesn't like to talk about us dating other people or no longer spending time together.

      My issue is this: I always initiate the contact now to make plans and he takes days to respond. This past time I had to call him to confirm things and he didn't pick up the phone, but sent me a text responding to the question I had asked him. I am concerned that he no longer wants to see me and is doing it out of obligation so he doesn't seem like a bad guy, because I do not hear from him unless I reach out first. But when he DOES respond, he sounds enthusiastic (actually, the enthusiasm of his response seems to mirror the enthusiasm in my original message).

      I know he's stressed about work because he has a job where 100% productivity is required every day and he works 4-5 10 hour days a week, but he literally falls off the face of the earth until I contact him.

      I fear he wants to ghost out of my life, but I like him and don't want him to do this, so I always break down and reach out to him.

    • profile image

      Lanna 

      2 years ago

      Ok, I am a little shocked. He got in touch with me today and apparently bought a plane ticket - he just isn't sure if he'll actually be on the plane, but he'll let me know ...I wasn't so much prepared for that! But supposedly he's been having a horrible time with work, and he said he missed me .. I was quite surprised! I still do not really trust 100% but I am definitely baffled. I am actually not sure I am ready to even see him! I feel like we do need a bit more time.

      But it would be strange/funny if I actually did get a fairy tale ending one day :) I will keep you posted, Andrea. I appreciate your calm, male introspect on things like this! I thought perhaps I was being foolish - and I guess I was! But in the wrong way? That remains to be seen :)

    • profile image

      Lanna 

      2 years ago

      I get that people get busy, but he has been less and less available and I just have a bad feeling about it that I can't shake. Maybe it is me - I don't trust people and I am very skeptical. But this guy and I reallly connected...like probably too much too fast :/

      He does ALL his work on his laptop, so I know he is checking his email and it wouldn't be hard for him to send a quick email if he really wanted to communicate. What I don't get is, his last message (on Wed) said that he has zero time, he'd know by the weekend if he could come see me on the date we were supposed to meet, and asked me if there was an alternative date. Then he said at the end "Ill try to text you later because I really miss talking to you a lot, it's the best part of my days." Well, I didn't respond for about a day and a half because I didn't want him to think I was just jumping to hear from him. I responded early Friday morning my time, expecting that I'd probably hear from him later that night because that's what he usually does! I said that it was ok, we both had a lot going on right now and it probably isn't the best time to set. I said maybe in June when I have moved out of my current house/relationship because I'll be staying with my parents and it might be a better time. I said no worries, we'll play it by ear and I asked how he was doing. Then nothing. Crickets. Nothing yesterday too! I sent him a quick message on saturday afternoon saying I supposed he was probably out and busy but I hoped he was doing well and things were going smoothly for him. Still nothing. This is the first weekend ever he has not communicated at all, like not even one message.

      It is out of character for him because 1) he is always working and he works from

      His laptop so it is not a stretch to think he has definitely seen my emails, he is just not making responding a priority, and 2) he is a young rich millionaire (supposedly) who has told me straight from the start that he uses escorts since he has no time for dating and no dating experience.

      I honestly don't know what to think/believe! My gut initially told me this guy was too perfect, and we had an amazing connection unlike anything I've had with another guy, but maybe it was too much too fast. I don't trust easily, and lately my gut has just been saying delete the stupid email app and forget this guy existed. If he is really as wealthy and in to me as he says he is, he will find a way to contact me or reach me at some point - but right now he clearly isn't making much effort and is just "too busy" to send a simple message rather than leaving me hanging. I feel like an idiot! You can't just have these long conversations with a stranger, telling them how they can become a European citizen and talking about living in all these exotic places and then just bail when it comes time to meet or suddenly just have "zero time" for that person when you have access to your laptop and email 24/7. Honest to god I feel like I should be the recipient of the most gullible/naieve woman of the year award!!

      I want to save myself more hurt by just deleting the stupid email app we've been communicating through, but the things he has said to me were so sweet and romantic and it hurts to think of being the one to close that door when there is still a possibility, but maybe I am just being stupid to think that. I think maybe he just likes the convenience of having me around to talk whenever he wants but the thing is I am not the type of woman to sit around waiting for a stupid email from someone I've never met!

      Oh and btw, he also deactivated his profile on the same site we had met on, the same day he sent me his last message. I am not sure what the hell that means - maybe he is too busy to deal with answering other people's messages on there or too overwhelmed with work, or maybe he just wants to disappear entirely. Idk.

      I definitely need to focus on myself and just put this on the back burner for now, and find a way to accept that whatever will be will be, I know I can't force anything but I just can't decide if I should completely end this by deleting all communication or if I should still try to hold on a little bit longer ...either way, I feel like I am mentally going insane and I just want to tell him he can't just do this to someone! Stupid.European.Men. (No offense if you are European.) but seriously...aaahhhh

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      Try to continue having a positive rapport. Also, listen to your gut feelings, and see why you are having the feelings you have. Sometimes people are very busy and you end up in a lull in these situations. Depending on what happens in those lulls is very important, it either means you have the strength to make it through those waters... or someone doesn't have the patience for it. Being busy will come up with adults. If you believe and trust in him, keep at it. If you feel like there is more at play here, ask yourself why. The best you can do is keep it positive. Sometimes it is good to take the pressure off meeting and just flirt / be friendly for a few text sessions. Try calling if you feel like this person is open to that. Or Facetime.

    • profile image

      Lanna 

      2 years ago

      Well, his messages have definitely gotten shorter and less frequent! For instance this past week, he has only sent me like 3 messages total, each one saying he is extremely busy, and he'll get back to me later (which he did, but like 2 days later). He supposedly visited his mother last week and is trying to catch-up on work. We were talking about when we are going to meet this month, but I am limited to only one day which I can meet - which he expressed made things difficult for him but that he would do his best to try and meet on that date, and asked if there was an alternative if he couldn't. I couldn't tell if he was trying to brush me off nicely, or if he is truly overwhelmed. I am thinking it is the latter, but still, I can't help but be a little insecure because we have stopped checking in with each other at least once a day now. Now it is like every 3 days

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      It sounds like he is genuinely busy. He might not be as sure where to take things at the moment, but if he is writing you long messages back, I think you are in good shape there. I think it is perfectly normal to ask in what manner of time he likes to receive replies to his texts. This might give you an indication of what is a normal amount of time for him. It is normal to slow down on texting. Also, at the beginning, people have a lot of questions, so they'll text a lot at the beginning and then calm down. I think if you are making efforts to be on positive terms with your current partner and communicate honestly, you should be able to keep a family dynamic to some degree when you split this summer.

    • profile image

      Lanna 

      2 years ago

      BTW - my biggest thing is just WHY is he now taking more than a DAY to respond to messages?? I mean he will ask me like 6 or 6 questions and now he isn't responding to me for more than 24hours! We communicate through email on his laptop - he does almost his work on his laptop - so I am SURE he is checking his email and seeing my messages way before the 24-48 hour time period. So why is it taking that long to write back??? When he didn't used to do that before?? Even if he were extremely busy he used to always keep me informed of what was going on, like hey I'm on the phone with so and so but I'll message you in an hour or two etc, and now it is like i m getting messages right before he goes to bed - and then he won't bother to say hey I'm going to bed - he will just either pass out after sending the message (at least that is what I am assuming) and then I won't hear from him for another day (and now it is more like 2). Sooo wtf? But when I do hear from him he still is pretty sweet/nice so this is so confusing!!!

    • profile image

      Lanna 

      2 years ago

      Thanks for your response Andrea!

      Ok so, you asked about my current relationship and it's interesting you asked about that, because last weekend I ended up initiating my separation from my current relationship. He has a daughter who is a teenager, and we have one child together - a 2year old - and then I have a 9 year old whom he has been a father figure to since she was 2 because her biological father was my HS bf and his rights were terminated because he's had nothing to do with her. So, my current guy has been like a dad to her, but they are not very close and he has no legal rights to her.

      We have been having problems for years. He is 20 years older than me and the past 4 years have been very hard on our blended family, and it has reached a breaking point on my end. So, he doesn't want ME to go but I have been feeling like I can no longer do this much longer, so we have been talking and it seems like I will be moving out once my daughter finishes school at the beginning of summer and I will be moving in with my parents again for a few months until I can afford to live on my own. My 2 girls will be living with me, and his daughter will be with him, though it is my hope we can still all get together as a family sometimes and preserve the girls' relationships as best we can.

      When I told this other guy about my impending split, he started texting a bit more and was asking a lot of questions and expressed happiness that I was saying all this. He has been very sweet and has been asking how I am doing with all this, but he has still been only keeping in touch about once a day or every other day, which is way less than the first 3-4 weeks of our talking. I know he has been visiting his mom in another country, whom he helps care for, and he has been dealing with a lot of work stuff and according to him, he's been going to bed earlier because he's been so run down. We haven't Slyped or Facetimed because I am still a little worried to do so with my current situation, and also he hasn't asked either. Origionat, we had been planning to meet this month actually - and we did have a specific date set. However I asked him the other day if he still wanted to meet or postpone it, and then I launched into like 4 long messages of what had been going on with me and my current relationship and used that as fodder saying I'm not in the best place emotionally and I don't want him to think less of me or see me when I am like this - I want him to see me when I am strong and Independent, not weak and falling apart. He responded by calling me his one and only, and told me that I am very strong and that he knew I would be able to make it through all this and he was happy I was sharing all this with him, but he never addressed whether or not he still wanted to meet. Then I didn't hear from him for a day because He was "a bit busy and spending time with his mom before he had to leave," and when I responded to him 2 hours later he didn't reply back- which at that point it was almost 10pm his time so I am assuming he went to bed. I am still waiting for a response since I still haven't heard from him a day later - but this has been the very first time he has gone 1 single day without sending me 1 single message.

      So now I am even more confused! He seemed very sweet and wrote me a very nice, long message the other day when I told him about what's going on with my current relationship, and he did express how he had been extremely busy and very tired, but I must admit it is very hard for me to believe him and trust him because I just have no way of really knowing anything.

      I do want to meet him and I am hoping he still wants to keep our "date" to meet. I have no clue how any of this is going to turn out! I do know he had been trying to figure out where he is going to relocate, and he had mentioned on more than one occasion relocating to my country/state so we could be closer together, but it's been a few weeks since he had brought this up or discussed it, so I am not sure whether that is still even a consideration or not. I also don't want him to think I am only breaking up my current relationship solely to be with him - I feel like I do need some time alone and to regroup and be independent, but at the same time this LD thing is very hard on me mentally. It is hard to go from feeling like he was always thinking of me/texting me to the past few weeks now he is more inaccessible and takes way longer to respond - it used to be immediate response to an hour or two, now it's 24-48hours! It's confusing and mentally/emotionally draining! But I don't want to freak him out or push him away!

      Also on the weekends he used to hang around and talk to me a bit, now he's like completely gone and I hear from mostly on Friday evenings and Sunday, so I have a feeling he is probably out doing stuff and I can't help but think the worst of course - but again I have no way of verifying anything and we are not even officially together or anything like that so it wouldn't be fair or right for me to be upset or concerned Anyways because he is a free man and I wouldn't ever restrict him. I guess we'll have to see if he still wants to meet and see what happens afterwards - but regardless this long distance thing is not easy!

      Oh and I won't say what country he is from but it is an EU country and he travels from different countries because of his companies etc.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      It is actually normal for texts to decrease as the relationship progresses.

      There may be certain issues at hand that are needing to be forwarded, that since they are not being forwarded... you guys are at a standstill. Try to pinpoint when exactly you would like to meet. Also, since you guys have had such an intense connection, you may need to bite the bullet and call each other. In fact, you should call each other and not just text and email. This will help. But you need a timeline here of when you can meet and see where things can go from there. Other thing, are you still in the relationship with the other guy? This would be a very confusing variable in this matter, and is the guy you've been in a relationship with your kids' father? Also, would the kids go with you if you ever moved? It's really hard to say what exactly this person you are talking to is doing on the other side. What country is he from? I think you guys need some sort of Skype conversation, to be honest. That will let you see him better and know how truthful he is being. If you are still in a relationship with somebody else, you need to sort that out... and that is your first priority.

    • profile image

      Lanna 

      2 years ago

      First off, I love that the author who responds to these comments is a guy! I am interested to hear your perspective on this:

      About six weeks ago I was on a popular, non dating website where you ask/answer questions. I came across a question that was answered by a man who had hundreds of followers and answered questions about investing/trading/money. He answered a question about how much money he made last year, and I jokingly commented are you single? To my surprise, he responded rather quickly and said yes. Now, I've been in a relationship for the last 8 years, and I have 2 kids, but I'm not married and I haven't been happy..like ever. It's been very complicated. I wasn't looking to meet/talk to or date anyone, I was just being a little flirtatious. We ended up commenting back and forth on his post, and then it quickly moved to the messaging area as he invited me to message him to talk more. I informed him immediately of my situation; he knew I am in a relationship with kids but it didn't bother him. We continued talking - like a lot. He said he was mostly on the site for dating questions because he wasn't very good at that sort of thing. He supposedly works constantly (which is why he is so successful) and doesn't have much experience with dating despite that he is still very young (my age) and extremely wealthy. I offered to help him but said I wasn't in the dating scene either so I didn't know if I could help. He asked me a few questions about dating and he seemed to like my answers, and we quickly began talking more and he told me he actually liked talking to ME. We exchanged regular emails and began talking every day. We talked all day, like every day. Within the first day or two he asked if we could meet, and we still have plans to meet in the next few weeks. (He is from another country). We also told each other our very personal stories/backgrounds, and really had a connection that I think was pretty deep. He would text in the morning and always sent very long messages back and forth, and has told me about a lot of work things and things he is dealing with - he has been trying to find a new place to live and would send me different real estate listings and tell me all the pros and cons of different places etc. Howver, he would also talk about this stuff in the context of us being together one day. In fact, within the first few days of our talking so much, he kept providing me with informed about how I can get citizenship in another country, the pros and cons of giving up my US citizenship etc - he has stated numerous times that after we meet if we really like each other we will figure out how to be together, and has even gone so far as to say (although he said this only one time) that he would provide for me and take care of me if I agreed to leave my relationship and be with him. Of course I told him I will not rely on another man like that, and I want to be able to take care of myself first. He offered to help me set up my own online business so I could do this, and he actually did take like a full day or two to help me get things started online. I've also told him I have no plans to be intimate with another man until I'm married - because of things that have happened in my life that made me realize I wish I had done that in the first place so if I ever had another chance at love I would do it in this way. He wasn't thrilled but he wasn't scared off either. He kept talking to me eagerly and has always been extremely respectful, polite, and sweet - flirtatious but not overly sexual.

      The past two weeks he appears to be under a tremendous amount of strsss from certain things with work. I know he travels every couple weeks and literally he is working allll the time. However, his texts have gotten less and less frequent - though he still texts me at least once or twice a day. I have told him in the beginning several times that he shouldn't waste his time with me because I have kids and he is so young and has so many more options, but he has always assured me he loves talking to me and that he understands I can't really trust him, and that the solution is to meet, and that from that point we will go from there.

      I am just confused because the last two weeks, while I know he is busy with work, I just hear from him wayy less. He used to text me when it was mid morning my time, now it's closer to dinner my time and he is pretty much ready for bed. Instead of our long conversations, it's the basic how was your day, how are your kids, what did you eat. He used to reply almost instantly, now it can take anywhere from an hour to six hours to hear back. He says he is just exhausted - and I do get it! I have backed off quite a bit, I don't usually text him first, I usually wait for him to because I know he is busy.

      Then last night he told me to please text him today whenever I feel like it - so I did at like 10am my time and he replied in 2 min saying he had been checking his email waiting for me. Then after I replied, I didn't hear from him for like 7 hours! He was taking the day off today too! So I was like wtf? Then he finally responded just saying he was exhausted and that when he takes a day to stop working it just hits him like a ton of bricks. I get it --but is it that hard to reply to a stupid message and say hey I need to take a nap I'll text you later?

      I'm so confused! Is he losing interest? He hasn't mentioned us meeting since he started talking to me less two weeks ago. I'm wondering if maybe he is browsing online for other potential people, or if he is losing interest, or if he is really just overwhelmed with his schedule like he says. I know we can't talk all day every day, but how do you go from 30 messages a day to 1 or 2?

      Am I being crazy? I'm just not sure what to think and I'd love a guy's perspective! He is still always sweet to me and says that he'd like to hug me - it is just the extreme decrease in frequency of messages + response time that makes me a little antsy/concerned

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      Do you see this person often? What is your status with this person? Some people are not as into texting as others.

    • profile image

      Sophia 

      2 years ago

      One day I texted him and I said"how come you don't text me anymore"he said"what I haven't had time to text anyone"and well every time I text him he leaves me on open idk what that means tbh

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