I love writing about relationships, love, romance, and flirting. I hope you find the advice in my articles useful.
True First Impressions Start on the Second Date
The first date is often awkward: you might both be nervous, unsure of what to talk about, and don't even know if you're attracted to each other yet! It's really just a vetting process, making sure that you're into each other and don't creep each other out. The second date is where the real stuff begins.
The second date is where you have a chance to talk more in-depth about what's important to you. With the initial nerves behind you, it'll be easier to give your date a glimpse of your real personality and character. You'll be able to chat more about your hobbies, likes, and dislikes. Though you shouldn't divulge your deepest, darkest secrets just yet, it's still a good chance to touch lightly on some important subjects, such as past relationships and religious and political views.
What to Wear on the Second Date
Dress slightly more casually on your second date than on your first date. You may have pulled out your best clothes or dress for your first date to make a sexy first impression, but you don't need to go that far on your second date. Here are some tips:
- For men: A nice shirt or t-shirt paired with jeans or khakis would work just fine. Casual shoes, like Converse, are okay and jackets are optional, but not necessary.
- For women: You could wear a body-hugging t-shirt with skinny jeans and heels or a casual, flirty summer dress paired with flip flops. Be as natural as possible—don't wear anything you wouldn't normally wear.
10 Tips for Your Second Date
From clothes to conversations to flirting and kissing, this article keeps it real while discussing ideas to make your second date exciting. By the end of the date, you will be able to get a clear idea about his or her true self and get a sense if that's what you're looking for.
1. Do Something Completely Different Than the First Date
Don't repeat what you did on your first date. Doing something different will give you a new environment and a fresh perspective.
Try something new, so that you won't be stuck in a loop and run out of things to talk about. A second date doesn't need to be as formal as your first one—it can be something as simple as a quick bite at your local restaurant or a good old movie date.
2. Greet Your Date With a Hug (and Maybe a Peck on the Cheek)
The best way to start a second date is with a smile, a warm hug, and a cute little peck on the cheek. Give a nice and long hug using both your arms. This will instantly break the ice and help you both feel more comfortable.
3. Start Revealing Your True Self
On a first date, a person's true character is hidden behind a facade so that they can impress the other person. A second date is your first real chance to understand your date behind the facade that was put up earlier.
On a second date, a couple can slowly start showing their true colors to each other. This includes a glimpse of their habits and true personality.
4. Prove That You're a Good Listener
You will make a great impression on your second date if you show that you actually listened and remembered what you talked about on your first date. This is your chance to prove that you are genuinely interested in the person.
For example, if your date told you something about her brother's new job, follow it up with a question on your second date—how is your brother's new job going along? Something as simple as this will leave a lasting good impression on your date.
5. Get Personal
First-date talks generally revolve around ice-breakers, which just skim the surface of your date's personality. Allow your second-date conversations to get a bit more personal.
Ask each other questions about your life journeys, past relationships, and future goals. Get to know the person beneath the skin. You may even follow up on stuff that your date told you during your first meeting; for example: "On our first date you told me that you don't get along with your family. What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"
6. Don't Start Sharing Details About Your Exes Yet
Second-date conversation is slightly tricky when it comes to talking about past relationships and exes. It may seem like a good time to vaguely touch on the topic to let your date know about your relationship history, but it's best not to reveal any details.
For example, it is one thing to tell your date that you broke up with your ex, but it would be rude to say that you dumped your ex because you couldn't make him come out of his shell. Save such details for later or for when they ask.
7. Flirt More
Flirting on the first date is usually subtle and indirect. After all, no one wants to sound desperate during the very first meeting. The second date is when you can slowly loosen up and amp up the flirting.
Don't shy away from giving compliments to your date. You may have been reserved about giving direct compliments to them earlier, but now is the time to make your attraction known. Here are some examples:
- I didn't say this last time because I was afraid of sounding awkward, but you have a great personality.
- I must say, you are quite a good looking man.
8. Reach Out for a Gentle, Subtle Touch (if They're Okay With It)
Getting touchy-feely on the first date is a sign of desperation and would probably creep them out. On the second date, however, it is a way to signal your attraction. If you find yourself attracted to your date, look at your date's body language for signs of attraction. If you feel like your date is into it and it feels natural, here are some ideas:
- You can place your hand over your date's when you share a laugh
- You could put your hand on the back of your date's shoulder.
- Men can guide their dates by placing their open palms on their date's lower back.
- Women can place their palms on a man's thigh while having an animated conversation.
However, I must stress that it's extremely important to be respectful or your dates boundaries. If you notice them shifting and pulling away when you try to touch them the first time, don't try again! And, when in doubt, simply ask if what you're about to do (or alright doing) is okay.
9. Finish the Date With a Kiss (if You Both Want To!)
If you see potential in your date and you want to take your connection further, a cute goodbye kiss may be on the cards. Be one hundred percent sure about your intentions give signs to your date before you lean in for your first kiss. Again, don't be afraid to ask! Consent is always sexy.
The first kiss is a good test of how your date feels about the short-term future of your relationship. Negative vibes, backing away, or a complete lack of interest are signs that your date isn't as interested as you are.
10. Don't Think About Sex—Unless You Want To
Some people say that sex on the second date is not a good idea. It is too early to take things to the next level. Some think that you should give your connection more time to mature before you decide to have sex for the first time with your new partner.
Getting intimate with your date so early on could create false expectations and subsequent disappointment if you are looking to form a genuine connection. However, every couple has it's own pace—some couples sleep on the first date and stay together for a while, while others never even get into bed with each other before breaking up!
The most important thing is to do what you and your partner feel comfortable with. Do not worry about societal expectations or gender roles—just stay true to yourself and what your want. If you do choose to have sex, make sure that both parties give enthusiastic consent and use protection!
What Does a Second Date Mean?
If someone asks you out on a second date, it means that you left a good impression on the first one! It means that they're interested in what you have to offer and want to get to know you better. A second date is still early, but it's a sign that they're willing to give you a chance.
That’s why love at first sight is a myth. You don't usually start feeling butterflies and fireworks right off the bat—you need to give someone time to grow on you, time to get to know them on another level. A second date means that they want to explore that possibility with you.
Expectations and Advice for Your Second Date
Much like the first date, you shouldn’t enter the second date with too many expectations. You’re still getting to know this person and should not set a bar they can’t meet.
If you had a good impression on the first date, it’s really common to idealize the other person afterwards. You might daydream about them, creating unrealistic expectations and characteristics that don’t actually exist because you’re so excited at the chance of love and commitment. Before going to your next date, it’s a good idea to try to rid yourself of these idealizations—they will only set you up for disappointment. The best thing to do is to walk in with an open mind and a commitment to be yourself.
Everybody moves at a different pace, so don’t stress about when you’ll kiss, stay the night, or share your darkest secrets. Just don’t allow yourself to be pressured to do something you’re not comfortable with and you’ll be alright.
What to Text After the Date (With Examples)
Send a Nice, Flirty Text
Flirting via text message after your second date is a must. It gives a strong signal to your date that you have developed an attraction towards him or her and are looking to get to know them further. Here are some examples of texts that you can send after your second date:
- Our first date was fantastic, but this one was even better! Thanks for showing me a good time :)
- I had so much fun last night. Is it too early for me to start making plans for our third date?
Add Your Date on Social Media
Following the lucky guy or girl on social media is a great way of getting to know your date even further. It will be a clear sign that you are interested, and will help you get to know them better.
Send your date some funny memes or like some of their posts. Look at what they post and see if you like it. All these things will help you build a good foundation for your third date and give you more to talk about.
Let Them Know if You're No Longer Interested
If after the second date you realize that you're not interested, make sure to tell your date. No one appreciates being ghosted! Just be respectful and send them a simple text stating your intentions. No need to go into too much detail. Here are some ideas:
- Hey, it was nice getting to know you but I wasn't really feeling a connection. Good luck with everything!
- Thanks so much for dinner. I really appreciate it, but I don't think I have time for dating right now. Take care!
© 2013 princesswithapen
CL on September 02, 2020:
What if I slept with her on the first date
Mark on October 08, 2019:
This was really good advice, keep going further and dont let bad comments ruin the page!
John Boid on April 02, 2019:
I expected quite a bit more in-depth advice from the #1 ranked article. Google needs to start regulating bad content like this. It's obviously written for $5 from Fiverr.
Miranda on February 28, 2019:
This is mostly terrible advice. Do not take your date to Subway. Do not text your date that they are the coolest person you’ve ever met. Do not say “gee you have a great body.” I’m really wondering if the author has ever been on a second date/interacted with another human. The only really usedul advice here is to do something different from the first date.
Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on August 26, 2013:
Well said about approaching second dates sometimes individuals use exactly the same approach on their second dates and agree with your point in getting themselves in a loop overtime. A useful and informative hub on his topic.