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Second Date: Tips for Men and Women

I love writing about relationships, love, romance, and flirting. I hope you find the advice in my articles useful.

Good advice for guys and girls going on a second date: follow up on your first date! Fun second dates are all about giving a slight glimpse into your real personality, character, past relationships, likes, and dislikes. From clothes to conversations to flirting and kissing, this article keeps it real while discussing ideas to make your second date exciting. By the end of the date, you will be able to get a clear idea about his or her true self.

Start your second date with a warm hug

Start your second date with a warm hug

1. Greet your date with a hug and a peck on the cheek

The best way to start a second date is with a smile, a warm hug, and a cute little peck on the cheek. Give a nice and long hug using both your arms.

This will instantly break the ice and help you both feel more comfortable on a personal level.

2. Do something completely different than on your first date

Don't repeat what you did on your first date. Doing something different will give you a new environment and a fresh perspective.

Try something new, so that you won't be stuck in a loop and run out of things to talk about.

A second date doesn't need to be as formal as your first one. It can be something as simple as a quick bite at your local Subway, or a good old movie date.

3. Dress slightly more casually than on your first date

You may have pulled out your best-looking clothes and dresses for your first date to make a sexy first impression. But you don't need to go that far on your second date. Here are some tips.

For men:

  • Wear a nice shirt or t-shirt
  • Pair it with jeans or khakis
  • Casual pair of shoes like Converse are fine
  • Jackets are optional, not ideally necessary

For women:

  • Body-hugging t-shirt, skinny jeans, and heels are a good look
  • Casual, flirty summery dress paired with slipper thongs are always a safe bet
  • Don't go too heavy on the makeup
  • Look as natural as possible

4. Give Your Date a Glimpse of Your True Colors: Reveal (Slightly) Your True Self

On a first date, a person's true character is behind a facade built to impress someone. A second date is the first real chance to understand a woman or a man behind the facade that was put up earlier.

On a second date, a couple can slowly start showing their true colors to each other. This includes a glimpse of their habits and original personality.

5. Remember the talks you had on your first date: Prove that you are a listener

You will make a great impression on your second date if you show that you actually listened and remembered the stuff that you talked about on your first date. This is your chance to prove that you were genuinely interested in the guy or the girl.

For example, if your date told you something about her brother's new job, follow it up with a question on your second date—So how is your brother's new job going along? Even something as simple as this will make a lasting and genuine impression on your date.

6. Allow the conversation to get slightly more personal on the second date

First date talks generally revolve around ice-breaking conversations which may have just skimmed the surface of your date's personality. Allow your second-date conversations to get a bit more personal.

Ask each other questions about your life journeys, past relationships, and future goals. Get to know the person beneath the skin. You may even follow up on stuff that your date told you on your first meeting, for example: "On our first date you told me that you don't get along well with your family. What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

7. Don't start talking details about your exes yet

Second-date conversation is slightly tricky when it comes to talking about past relationship and exes. It may seem like a good time to vaguely touch the topic to let your date know about your relationship history. But details are best not revealed.

For example, it is one thing to tell your date that you broke up with your ex, but it may be rude if you tell him that you dumped your ex because you couldn't make him come out of his shell. Save such details for later.

8. Increase your flirting quotient on the second date

Flirting on the first date is usually subtle and indirect. After all, no one wants to sound desperate during the very first meeting. The second date is when you can slowly loosen yourself up and amp up your flirting quotient.

Don't shy away from giving compliments to your date. You may have been reserved about giving direct compliments about your date's looks earlier, but now is the time to make your attraction known. Here are some examples.

  • I didn't say this last time because I was afraid of sounding awkward, but gee you have a great body!
  • Most guys out there would die to get a chiseled body like yours, impressive I must say!

9. Get touchy-feely on your second date

Getting touchy-feely on the first date is a sign of desperation. But on the second date, it is a sign of attraction. If you find yourself attracted to your date, test the girl's or guy's body language for signs of attraction too. Here are some tips.

  • Place your hand over your date's when you share a laugh
  • Put your hand on the back of your date's shoulder
  • Men can guide their dates by placing their open palms on their date's lower back
  • Women can place their palms on a man's thigh while having an animated conversation

10. Depending on your connection, finish the second date with a kiss

If you see something substantial in your date and you want to take your connection further, a cute goodbye kiss may be on the cards. Be one hundred percent sure about your intentions before you lean in, or give signs to your date to lean in, for your first kiss.

The first kiss is also a good test of how your date feels about the near-term future of your relationship. Negative vibes, backing away, or a complete lack of interest may be signs that your date isn't as interested as you are.

11. Don't think about sex yet: The second date is too early

Sex on the second date is not a good idea. It is too early to take things to the next level. Give your connection more time to mature before you decide to have sex for the first time with your new partner.

Getting intimate with your date so early on will create false expectations and subsequent disappointment if you are looking at your connection from a genuine perspective.

12. Send a courtesy text message to him or her after your second date

Flirting via text message after your second date is a must. It gives a strong signal to your date that you have developed an attraction towards him or her. Here are some examples that you can send after your second date.

  • Our first date was fantastic, but this one was even better, thanks for showing me a good time
  • I had so much fun, is it too early for me to start making plans for our third date?
  • You are the coolest guy I've ever met, and I'm so glad we started dating

13. Increase your interaction on Facebook, Twitter and other social networks after your second date

Give your second date a proper closure by increasing your interaction with the guy or girl on online social networks. It will be a clear sign that you are happy with how things are going.

Post something random on your date's Facebook, retweet your date's tweet, and tag your date in some of your fun posts on other networks. All these things will help you build a good foundation for your third date.

© 2013 princesswithapen


CL on September 02, 2020:

What if I slept with her on the first date

Mark on October 08, 2019:

This was really good advice, keep going further and dont let bad comments ruin the page!

John Boid on April 02, 2019:

I expected quite a bit more in-depth advice from the #1 ranked article. Google needs to start regulating bad content like this. It's obviously written for $5 from Fiverr.

Miranda on February 28, 2019:

This is mostly terrible advice. Do not take your date to Subway. Do not text your date that they are the coolest person you’ve ever met. Do not say “gee you have a great body.” I’m really wondering if the author has ever been on a second date/interacted with another human. The only really usedul advice here is to do something different from the first date.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on August 26, 2013:

Well said about approaching second dates sometimes individuals use exactly the same approach on their second dates and agree with your point in getting themselves in a loop overtime. A useful and informative hub on his topic.