Why Not Everybody Likes a Pretty Boy

Updated on April 8, 2015
Quite a few people (women) like this guy.
Quite a few people (women) like this guy. | Source

I’m Just a Sexy Boy…

Okay, you’re likely going to hate me a little bit after you read all this. I say go ahead: I’m used to it by now.

I’m a pretty boy. I always have been. I’ve been called names by people, and it was usually unprovoked. I’ll be minding my own business and I’ll hear some guy say “he thinks he’s so beautiful”, or “he thinks he’s so cool”. They’re more likely to target me, and focus on my shortcomings or faults. That’s what people always do with beautiful things. They find ways to point out its flaws. It’s human nature to defile and destroy beautiful things after all. We know this by now.

And like I said before – I’m used to being hated for that exact reason. But I don’t just sit there and think: “Why? Why don’t they like me?! Everybody hates me!” while crying in to my pillow like some might.

I’m not just a pretty face as they say. I am a thinker, and I develop my own theories. I might not have studied psychology or whatnot at a fancy university. I don't need a piece of paper from some rinky-dink college telling me that I know people's minds. Theory is all well and good, but real world experience; practical, hands on experience with people will likely teach you much more. Everybody I knew in high school wanted to be a psychologist, and yet they were the ones who struck me as being out of touch, and ignorant on the matter at hand – whatever it was. And they were likely the ones that caused psychological issues in others in the first place too, at that.

Anyhow, I have come up with several reasons why not everybody likes a pretty boy - not even all women do.

And they like him too.
And they like him too. | Source

A pretty boy is an attractive male, with above average looks, perhaps with feminine facial features, who some might regard as being effeminate as far as the way they look or dress. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the mannerisms that they display are that of an effeminate male, although it might. I don’t carry a handbag or wave my hand around like a periscope on a submarine, for example, and I like to wear black a lot, instead of bright flashy colours. Pretty boys are usually not very well built either, but there are exceptions, obviously. Some guys are said to have child bearing hips too. Their legs could be more developed than their upper body is. They're often teased or bullied by other guys because of these traits.

An example of a pretty boy would include the likes of David Beckham, or like the subtitle suggests, Michael Hickenbottom AKA Shawn Michaels, in his prime during his career, for instance. Some have even called Prince William a pretty boy. Brad Pitt would qualify, for sure.

I’m a good looking guy. My self-esteem isn’t so low that I can’t say it. I’ve always thought myself to be more attractive than a lot of guys, and even some girls, around me. I have long dark blond hair, blue eyes and a bit of a slender jaw line. When I was younger, all the women said I was destined to be a ladykiller one day. Of course a ladykiller in this sense isn’t a serial killer, but one who seduces women with charm (although Ted Bundy was both). Good looks can definitely help in this matter.

You want a picture of me as proof? Well, no. You’ll just have to take my word for it. I had a profile picture up at one point but I started to get hate mail. Not really. Some women (hopefully!) did email me and say that “they liked what they saw” - and of course my distrustful nature led me think that there were ulterior motives. With spammers there always is that possibility. That and I like to remain anonymous. I don’t want people getting my picture and looking for me on the streets with dagger in hand - especially after this article.

"That’s what people always do with beautiful things. They find ways to point out its flaws. It’s human nature to defile and destroy beautiful things."

Many guys have given me this look or something like it.
Many guys have given me this look or something like it. | Source

Why men don’t like pretty boys

A guy with long hair usually draws attention, and it isn’t always positive. My thoughts on this are that because hair thinning and baldness is common throughout the world, it’s likely that people, especially men, become jealous when they see a full head of hair on another guy. And because of my long hair I’ve gotten some stares - like in a takeout place years ago, some bald guy with a cap was looking at me. It’s obvious.

Another reason why most men don’t like an attractive guy that much is because they’re threatened. They know that the odds are they will draw a lot of attention from the crowd wherever they go: particularly female attention. Of course nowadays with all these con artists… erm, I mean pickup artists or “PUAs”, around trying to flog their books and so on about how to seduce women and get laid and so on, even an average looking Joe stands a chance – or so they say. The truth is that good looks are a nice bonus to have to match the self-confidence, self-control, and sense of humour that works on women. That’s right, I’ve heard about the “three Ss”. Not that I’ve read the books however. Why read books when you can get the info for free on the web anyway?

Good looks will get you noticed more than ugly features will. Even women, who are supposed to be less shallow and materialistic (*cough*), will say that a guy should be good looking when he approaches a woman - otherwise how will he be able to pull off whatever he has in mind? Hell I read that here on HubPages in the forum!

I’ve heard stories about how a good looking guy would walk in to a bar, and immediately guys started walking up to him. Hang on. It’s not what it sounds like. It wasn’t a gay bar or anything. Please continue reading.

The guys were coming up to him to tell him to stay away from “their” women, and even being as gracious as to point them out. A good looking guy not only makes other men jealous, but makes them insecure. This demonstrates it: that a guy would actually feel as though he has to talk to a guy and tell him not to go after his girl just as he walks in to the place.

Another reason why a guy might not a like an attractive or pretty male is because they think they’re gay. This is also such a sign of insecurity and a backwards way of thought. For several years now metrosexuality has been around, and more and more men are taking care of their looks and not “letting themselves go” like the older generations did. So if one of these guys sees some dude walking around with nice hair, a clear complexion, and maybe even some makeup on, he thinks: “he must be gay”. This idea can be reinforced particularly if this guy usually hangs around with other men, or if guys who really are gay try to hit on him all the time.

This isn’t always the case though, especially nowadays. I didn’t really ever think I was a metro, but then I look at all the creams and products I use. Yes I suppose I could be… like a semi-metro, or something. I try to take care of myself, when I have to. Then again I haven’t had a haircut in over two years. What’s the point? It’ll grow back anyway, right? I save quite a bit of money in that regard.

Another theory of mine is that the guy who hates on the pretty boy is actually gay himself, or latently homosexual – which means it isn’t fully realized yet. He might be attracted to the man in question, and it might even get to the point of having sexual fantasies involving this other man. This no doubt starts to make him doubt his sexuality, and he might curse the day this other guy was born. So his reaction is, because of how the pretty male has made him feel, he must lash out and do everything in his power to make it known or convince himself that he doesn’t like this guy, to make himself feel more masculine, and reassure himself that his heterosexuality is still intact.

These feelings can be exacerbated or made worse if a guy is single and has been for some time, and perhaps if they are misogynistic towards women, perhaps because of their lack of luck in love, or lust. Also, all this stuff that society and the media would have you believe about sexuality can mess with your head and put things out of perspective. It makes the doubts that creep in even worse.

Most men aren’t liberal in this matter. They would never admit that they are actually attracted to another man – because “dude, that’s gay”. Some guys, like David Beckham for instance, are more liberal and can talk about it, and be more honest and open about their feelings. I once read about the scandal surrounding David and that Rebecca “The Floozy” Loos. She claimed he would talk about which men he found attractive and so on. And this was after they’d done the deed too.

It’s like the saying: metrosexuals aren’t gay, but they’re close. Not even all metrosexuals are pretty boys for that matter.

Women however do this all the time. They look at other women and even kiss each other… on the lips. You wouldn’t see a lot of men do this.

I remember how this was explored in a sitcom called ‘Til Death at one stage, when Eddie, Brad Garrett’s character, said that some actor made him experience these weird feelings and that he’d told his wife about it. I’ve also read about guys who do actually talk to their wives about feeling “hot” about another guy. It’s a male crush, and guys are becoming more and more open about it. There have been some movies and so on about bromance and whatever humourous neologisms they can come up with today, like that one movie, I Love You, Man.

Hell, my dad has even commented before that some guy he met was good looking. That guy even turned out to be gay, but my dad didn’t know it at the time. But my dad has been married for over forty years and has four kids and two grandchildren. See my point? It was completely innocent.

My message to these other close-minded men is that it’s the 21st century. It’s okay. Whatever the reason why you’re attracted to another man – it’s okay. Many people are gay or even identify themselves as being bisexual. And the world is gradually becoming more tolerant or even accepting of it. Even though I’ve mentioned homosexuals and so on in this article, I don’t hate them, and I don’t mean to offend them. It’s totally up to that person to live their life and do what they want. It’s none of my business and it doesn’t affect me much at all, I’ll be honest.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re gay though if you find another guy attractive. I don’t think so. Because then we’d all be gay. It’s a natural thing. You might as well make peace with yourself and just admit that some guys are ugly, and unattractive, and some aren’t. Some guys are good looking.

In this society of instant gratification and the “If it feels good, do it” slogan adopted by many, some guys actually follow through with these feelings where others don’t. Even then, if a guy sleeps with another guy, they might not be classed as gay. It’s “experimentation” – unless too many people find out about it.

I’ve heard a man say before, and it was quite interesting: “Maybe we’re all a bit gay or bisexual inside. Maybe God is too, if we’re made in his image.”

I didn’t say that, just so you know. Don’t point the finger at me!

"Another reason why most men don’t like an attractive guy that much is because they’re threatened. They know that the odds are they will draw a lot of attention from the crowd wherever they go: particularly female attention."

"He thinks he’s so cool..."
"He thinks he’s so cool..." | Source

Why women don’t like pretty boys

It’s partially true that women don’t like pretty boys. I know this contradicts a lot of the things I may have said above, and it might well partially prove what they say about women is right after all: that they’re not as into looks or physical appearance as men are.

Let me explain.

On one hand, yes - women do like attractive guys. Guys like Brad Pitt, David Beckham, or George Clooney or something like that, or whoever is rated the world’s sexiest man alive right now. But the chances of ending up with them are slim, seeing as they are all taken anyway. But when it comes to the everyday guy that they see, it can be different for some women out there. They might find said guy attractive, but like we’ve all heard before: beauty is skin deep, and like with pretty women, they automatically think that there’s no inner beauty or that they’re shallow. This is because average or ugly women often think the same about beautiful women. Let’s just simplify and say that this is how they see anybody who is attractive.

Another reason is this: it has been said that average or ugly looking guys with the three Ss I mentioned above (self-confidence, self-control, and sense of humour) are perhaps more desirable in the long run than a good looking guy with said traits. After all they want to be the pretty ones in the relationship, and if the guy has everything, plus looks, then the woman will look like a side dish in comparison. He’s the whole meal, and she’s just a hanger-on, and only temporary at that. Because if he’s so good looking and desirable, then you can bet that you’re not the only one who’s after him. So it could also boil down to a jealousy thing, or feeling threatened as well.

A woman wants a man, and not another woman, in most cases. Pretty men are probably more likely to be sought after for a one night stand or a temporary fling. And this might be the way these men like it anyway. These women might think that the odds of them ending up with such a guy, especially on a more permanent basis, are not in their favour – especially if they aren’t that easy on the eyes themselves.

With pretty women it might be different. If they’re the vacuous type they might then think because a guy is good looking he's also brainless, and just cruises on his good looks.

I’ve also heard some say that it’s always the average or ugly guys who end up with the pretty young things. And it comes down to what might humorously be referred to as the law of averages. The theory is that for every prince out there, there are about 9 frogs, if not more. I tried to use some euphemism there, but maybe it didn’t work. Average looking or even ugly people probably outnumber pretty ones by a big margin. I know – harsh. But it’s true.

There’s also something here that you need to know. Those women are shallow, and they are materialistic. If that guy they’re with has money, possessions, and status, then that’s why they’re with him. Not because of his looks or anything. Just take comfort in knowing that they’ll likely marry that guy and after a while they’ll divorce him and take half of his hard-earned money. I’ve seen it happen. It’s not just a thing that happens in movies. Money makes it a lot easier to love someone, but it doesn’t last as long usually, particularly when there’s no prenuptial agreement.

In comparison, if you’re an attractive guy, but you’re poor and don’t have that success, then probably quite a few women wouldn’t give you the time of day. They wouldn’t stay with you more than one night anyway. Because it’s what they call “chick crack”: success; status; being able to pay for all their wants and needs.

"They want to be the pretty ones in the relationship, and if the guy has everything, plus looks, then the woman will look like a side dish in comparison. He’s the whole meal, and she’s just a hanger-on, and only temporary at that."

Final thoughts

Okay so I’ve gone through a number of reasons why, if you happen to be a good looking guy, people might not like you. Of course you can argue that these are just theories concocted from a paranoid, delusional mind. Whatever makes you sleep better at night. But I know about these things, because I’ve encountered them in my life, and experienced them - on both ends.

In explaining this, I also hope to reach out to these haters and try to tell them that there are deep-seated reasons why you don’t like that attractive guy you always see. You might not actually hate him at all. You’re just making it seem that way. It probably has a lot more to do with you than him.

I’m a pretty boy. I’m not well liked. I’m used to it. I don't like most people either.

“They say that pretty boys don’t age well. That’s only because ugly guys don’t have that much to lose in the first place anyway.”

— Anti-Valentine

What do you think of pretty boys?

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© 2010 Anti-Valentine


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      CLR 12 days ago

      I can empathize with this whole article and many of the comments. I have a lot the same experiences and it's a mental war just trying to keep sane. All the experiences have slowly put me in a secluded shell of depression and pessimism. My article on my experiences and my thoughts would be just as long or longer...but just knowing there's others going through what I go through has made it better already. Thanks....

    • profile image

      Not bad guy 3 weeks ago

      The post is a little long but good job.

      Another reason why some woman will hate you after they show interest in the beginning,because some girl will assume themselves are attractive and try to approach you or expect you to treat them differently like all the other guys do. But you’ve already had the experiences so your standard is higher than usual People. By treating these woman just slightly not what they expected will hurt their ego and they will hate you for that.

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      michael 3 months ago

      People claim I am a pretty boy.

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      DeenOohhhhhhh 3 months ago

      Seems spot-on.

      Growing up, though, I never considered myself good looking. I was a chubby kid for a long time, and I'm dark, southern European, and kinda exotic looking. I had always assumed the girls all wanted the tall, blonde, "American" types with muscles and a square jaw line; but I didn't really care since I was unsociable by nature, a skater, and had "nerd" hobbies that took up most of my time. I just left it at that.

      But as I got taller and thinner in high school, things started to change. I started getting more attention from girls. My friends' girlfriends would try to talk to me all the time. One friend admitted to me that most of the girls he knew wanted to f*** me and often remarked about how smart and good-looking I was.

      I noticed girls staring at me all the time and giggling amongst themselves. A few times a car with girls pulled over as I was walking and asked me some random question like, "Do you know the time?" I was young and never really "got" what their intentions were. One time I said "Sorry, I don't" to the above question, and they said "You *are* sorry!" and sped off laughing. LOL

      Stuff like this still happens to this day (I'm 45 now), but not as much as before. I'm still fit, have a full head of hair, and look 15 years younger (often still get carded). Good looking women have approached me at bars, and I often date girls much younger (a couple in their mid twenties) than me. A woman told me once that I'm about an "8" LOL

      Many men (and even lesbians sometimes!?), however, will try to mess up my day. I'm frequently gossiped about at work. Some men say really mean things about me behind my back. I always get strange remarks about the way I look, even though nobody else at work does. I'll get called "short" even though I'm over 5'11." They'll often point out some random ugly guy who looks nothing like me and say, "Wow, that guy looks just like you!" Similar things happen even when I'm, say, introduced to somebody new. The first thing out of their mouth is some comment about the way I look.

      I also get blamed for pretty much everything. Even once when I was little, a kid I didn't even know stole something at school. He told his mom that *I* was the one who really stole it and that he got blamed for it. Next thing I knew some crazy lady I've never met before was screaming at me from her car as I was walking home from school.

      Workplace sabotage is something I'm constantly dealing with. I'm also called stupid and generally made to look bad of front of other people.

      If I hang out with (uglier) guys at a bar, I'll notice that they are always watching the women that stare at me. I can sense that they're getting agitated. Then the aggressive behavior starts up again.

      OK, this is getting WAY too long, but over the years I've learned to stay "low key" in certain environments: "Never try to outshine the master" is what I read once; if you're hot, dress down; if you're smart, act dumber. I also avoid people who haven't been as lucky in life as I have, preferring to hang out with those "above" me. This keeps the fuss to a minimum.

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      Dan 4 months ago

      Few comments I have got -

      - He thinks he is a sex god ( by an average looking girl)

      - He is fucking his sweet girlfriend (by an ugly girl)

      - He wants to show off how hot he is (by the same ugly girl)

      - An old woman in the gym giving bad eyes

      - He must have got girlfriend ( by an average guy)

      - He is short ( by so many insecure guys when they are with their wives or girlfriend)

      - He is so cool ( by a girl at the airport)

      - Hey cute guy, that is my girlfriend ( by an average guy)

      - Father and daughter giving bad eyes in the subway

      - He is gay ( a middle aged guy with his date and then date telling him that he is so mean)

      - You look so sick ( by a so called friend)

      Has experienced all of the above

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      OlderPrettyBoy 4 months ago

      Wow, this article resonated with me. When I was younger (now in my 40's) I became so self conscious about my pretty looks, girls would giggle near me and guys would become hostile (threatening me to stay away from their girlfriends) that I shaved my hair off and wore crappy clothes on purpose to hide my looks. It was more the threatening males that affected my self confidence, I never wanted to fight or cause trouble so I always backed down or walked away which really affect my self esteem. It has taken years to get my confidence back, however after taking up kick boxing but now I feel great, I get admiring comments from women all the time (I still get embarrassed and go red, but instead of it affecting me in a negative way, I make it positive. Also with the kick boxing training, I have the confidence to handle a threatening situation. I struggled through my teenage years and 20's so self consciously hating the way I looked, now with time and experience I am actually now thankful.

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      krismk 7 months ago

      Thanks for the article. I don’t think I’m a “pretty boy” per se, but I am 6’4” and lean/muscular, and I’ve learned during the last couple years that others find me attractive—I share many of the aforementioned struggles (as someone below wrote, nobody wants to hear you play the world’s smallest violin about good looks). A girl I had started dating recently started ghosting me; when I called her out on it, she said that I wasn’t “right” for her (probably some combination of looks, age (we are both 30), fear of being dumped, etc.) Personally, I still don’t quite “see” it in the mirror, but gay men can’t keep their hands off me and more-courageous women will sometimes open me at bars. I’ve also started noticing the subtle manner in which women check me out in public places, to which I was completely oblivious before (I’m an introvert and very in my own head).

      I was recently at EDC (big music festival) by myself and whenever I looked around, there was someone staring at me, women and men (there was a big gay cohort at this festival). I met a gay couple waiting in line for the shuttle who invited me to the gay pool the next day. I first declined, but they then convinced me to come down (I didn’t feel like sitting alone in my room). I swear, ten minutes after I stepped foot into the pool, I was swarmed. There was a taller guy talking to me, then a smaller Asian one who boxed him out (when I finally got a word in edgewise and told him I wasn’t gay, he told me: “well I was going to hit on you, but you’d only be a “7” in the gay community anyway.” Ouch! lol). There was an overweight blonde, blue-eyed Austrian fellow who came up and said, “I just van to sey U are buuutifuul”. He was my favorite—as if Franz Joseph escaped the Great War, turned gay and a bit slovenly, and started trawling for dudes in Las Vegas. Too funny.

      As an adult, I’ve had some troubles with this in terms of issues people mentioned, but being aware of it is a godsend, even if I’m a bit late in my self-knowledge.

      I’d like to thank Kate below for the insightful comment. Especially the part about self-esteem, which I’ve struggled with (when you look like me but don’t act a certain way, people immediately label you “weird”). I’ve saved it for reference.

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      David 7 months ago

      Every girl that was beautiful or pretty took the time to talk to me and played way more less games than ugly girls . I been called gay but uglier girls than me

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      Christian k 8 months ago

      This article has hit so close to home! I have blue eyes and long light brown-blondish hair. I have the physique and hairstyle of Achilles in the movie Troy. I've been told I'm a mix of young Pitt + one of the Winchester brothers( the one with long hair)+ Zac efron. Funny thing is I'm only 19. When I was younger I was super shy but after I was 17 i really became aware.. all the looks I get, compliments from strangers. Hit on by men and women... at university the girls gave me the nick name Ken because I look like a ken doll apparently. I guess it's nice to be told you're too pretty to be a boy but I didn't really figure this out when I was younger since I had low self esteem, now I'm more confident and happy so I can out the pieces together and realize what God has given me .

      I like to dress really well and most guys assume I'm gay even though I'm not lol, most people say I'm a pretty boy and have a feminine face since I also have full lips. I've never had many friends since most people have flat out ignored be despite me being a generous cool guy to hang around. I get stares all the time and most people just don't want to be around me but it's sad. At bars I'll get groups of girls come up to (once they're drunk if not theyre not confident enough to approach me lol). At school I dated the most beautiful girl and all the younger chicks at my graduation year gave me hearts with my name on it on Valentine's Day and would ask to take pics with me.. and guess what they didn't do this to any other guy! So yeah I've been quite lucky and I'm always greatful for my looks, unfortunately most poeple think that's all there is to me. I've noticed it can be really lonely since there's so many average people around so 90% don't identify with me and give hateful stares but oh well. this article has really increased my self awareness and made me really understand why the majority of people are jealous and mean to me, oh well f*** them! To all the other single good looking gentlemen out there I say this: " keep being handsome, workout, be happy and humble, appreciate your beauty whilst you're young and ignore the butt hurt unfortunate losers who refuse to see you for who you are on the inside. Most men will HATE YOU unless they themselves are happy and or good looking themselves and also most women even though they are hot will not habe a lot of confidence, have patience and keep moving forward." P.S. don't forget to pass down your amazing genes ;) God bless all my handsome brothers out there!

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      Emile Huang 8 months ago

      This article is very relevant and has many facts with regards to beautiful men. The writer hit the nail on the head. I noticed my pretty side when washing my face after school some years back in junior high. I am half Taiwanese and my mom is half Indian and Nepalese. Some Asian men are pretty as fuck and I just so happen to be one of them. I do understand the vibe of receiving public haters and people who favor one just because of ones soft and more feminine delicate features. I would say I have a baby face. But I am not a guy who goes the extra mile to be pampered or flaunt my looks on a daily basis. I did have some incidents when others guys openly show their dislike towards me when I never once did or said anything to personally offend them. Never really got that vibe from women though. I went to schook in Asia for a while and there people would literally go silent and some even stare so pretty boys also go through social pressure same like Super beautiful woman. The moral is regardless of looks we are all human and should be treated not according to our looks but our behaviour. It gets hard on a guy (social pressure) when his face is soft and pretty and the whole classroom watches him like paparazzi like "what's he gonna do next" or we expect his grades to be sky high (subconsciously: like his cute looks).

      Anyway I am glad to have obtained this knowledge by reading this.

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      The Very Sad Thing Is 9 months ago

      And the very sad thing is that most of the single women nowadays are going for the ugliest guys since it is now all about personality.

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      Emma 10 months ago

      As a young lady, I feel like I've been shown two very different views of the pretty boy. One- that he's desirable, worthy of crushes, he's special, and being with him makes a girl feel just as special. Two- that he's undesirable. That desiring him would be cheap, pathetic, beneath me. Because after all, isn't it shallow of me to be attracted to him? I've started thinking of attractive men as being jerks, and that's a stereotype that I know isn't fair.

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      Tony 12 months ago

      What a great article! You've hit the nail on the head. I can't tell you how many times I have caught guys giving me filthy looks for no reason other then them being jealous. I drive truck, and deliver to companies that employ "hillbillies" and hicks. The ones who don't take care of themselves, are dirty and have no clue what women want. It never fails, the dirty looks, the laughing when I walk in, or screaming like an idiot just to get my attention. I'm a humble, outgoing, easy guy to get along with. They take that as a weakness, it's really unfortunate. All we can do is laugh at them, and ignore their childish, immature, insecure antics. The more I smile, and show t that they don't get to me, or get a rise outta me, and it only makes the madder.

      So what I like to smell good.. so what i like to take care of myself and look good.. be optimistic, caring and outgoing apparently are characteristics of a good man they can't handle, lol. It's really sad if you think about it. Keep styling fellas, and don't give theseclowns another thought.

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      JOHNSMITH1111 12 months ago

      Hi, I would like to start by saying, wow.

      This article hits incredibly close to home for me. You've touched on numerous topics that get overlooked everyday by people who have little to no understanding of what they are signaling from a conscious or subconscious level.

      To have you understand why I am writing to you, and where I come from, I'm going to need you to read the next few paragraphs in an emotionally grounded state, or fly as low as you can to steer clear of any confusion.

      So here goes. I searched the term "why do MEN get jealous around attractive guys?" , and after browsing a few articles that seemed to just speak on why people are jealous from a general standpoint, I finally found this delightful read that resonates very well with me.

      I will have you know, that I too am considered an attractive male in my late 20's. I work in a large corporation currently, that houses a lot of very smart women and men from all different realms of Information Technology, Scientists, etc. Even more interesting(here's where I need you to ground all emotions), I've been told that I have characteristics of brad cooper, brad pitt, tom cruise, and most complimentary, the greek god adonis. Now, when you are an attractive person, as you've stated in your article, there will be more attention focused on you, and expectations set prior to you uttering a word. These expectations include for you to be honest, loyal, genuine, nice, non judgemental, and all of the other holy bible pure identifiers you can funnel. However, I am human, and I was put on this earth to live and die like the rest of us. Why do I feel like I'm not human though? Why do people force a personality onto me before I can speak? Well, I have a sneaking suspicion that it all comes down to the simple fact that the human mind needs to feel secure.

      Take a look at your closest friends. How many of them would be your friend if every time you were around the opposite sex with them, they suddenly disappeared. Not in the sense of actually physically leaving an area, but because you are a lightbulb to which everyone else in the room (women especially) is a moth. This friendship is going to get awfully REAL now isn't it? You may even realize, that this person has categorized you in the past as being less attractive than them, therefore, all system are secure. But why is it that the human mind needs a flaw? It needs to categorize you and your level of attractiveness, and what you can do with it-IMMEDIATELY.

      Perfect example, I've sat in on a conference with several male and female coworkers, only to see another "pretty boy" that obviously felt threatened sitting next to me with all body language faced outward, as to be the highest standing flower in a garden, waiting for a sprinkle of water. I see this behavior and hold my composure, as outside of the work environment, I simply would just walk away from the attempted character scolding that is about to ensue. This person is doing an insecure method that I am going to term "gathering". They need to have attention on them -or else... The karmic disaster that unfolded from this gentlement attempting to gather attention towards himself, and away from me really hurt his ego when women were seen bending their necks around him just to get a glance at me, or hear any words I may have to say. The pretty boy did not like this one bit, and proceeded to say twenty dollar words, and make eye contact, and direct body language to everyone but me. As much of an attention beacon this pretty boy declares himself, his signal of desperation was not being picked up(other than by me, which is silly, because I should be focusing on my work or the topic at hand).

      In part, I've noticed this behavior from both men and women. Point blank, no one wants someone else to look better than them, and be in the same room with women that once admired them, but see something of much more value now. This mentality is more widespread than one might think. For example, when in public at a mall, or wal mart etc, I've noticed people that will completely stop what they are doing when I am in the vicinity, and put on an act via cell phone call, sudden interest in everything that around wherever I go(rough situation), and the one I love the most, the giant fake smile in response to the emotional duress they're ego/sense of self is currently undergoing.

      I digress, but all of the attractive people I've ever run into have certain problems with people paying attention. I however,(stay low to the ground here please) have had flocks of teenage girls recently follow me around the mall whilst "window shopping" every store that I pass or stop near. I've looked into peoples eyes while speaking with them, and seen a self induced hypnosis occur, where they forget everything they were doing, and just fall onto themselves(Not to mention how hard it is to say goodbye)

      I could write about this stuff all day, and not to mention, it's all very new to me and a lot of my OLD friends, due to the recent onset of 100 lbs weight loss with proper nutrition, water intake, gym regimen, etc. I've felt god like at times, I will not lie. We live in a very shallow world, and I've been asked many times why I'm not in hollywood already, and tbh I believe it's just a matter of me being in the right place at the right time like johnny depp when he caught his break...

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      Dre310 12 months ago

      Spot on. I've always been aware that I'm above average looking. It was always, and still is, uncomfortable to admit that to myself. I've downplayed my looks all of my life. I've shaved my head, purposely left my facial hair looking messy and untamed and even purposely dressed like shit. Before we were in a relationship, my most recent girlfriend told me "You're too pretty to be a boy." She was actually complimenting me, but in my eyes, I thought she was purposely trying to make me feel bad. I remember going home that night and looking at myself in the mirror trying to figure it out. It took me 23 years to identify that my big eyes, angular jaw, long eyelashes and full lips gave me a "pretty" appearance. And mannn, guys (and girls) in high school would say some messed up things about me. Back then, I couldn't understand why, but it's clear now. Being called a "pretty boy" or "gay" was the more popular form of harassment. However, I was actually well-liked in high school, but to me, it was because I was kind, compassionate, enthusiastic & sincere. Those who knew me knew I was so much more than my appearance. Some people simply never gave me a chance and constantly talked shit and harassed me. I was homecoming king and prom king. I was so ashamed to win both of those things. I remember I gave my mom the crowns right after I won because I was so embarrassed and self-conscious about it. Remember in high school the "who's who"; best dressed, most likely to succeed, etc. My student body voted me "most attractive". I remember them announcing what everyone got on the PA system that morning at school. As soon as they claimed me "most attractive", I immediately sunk into my seat and got red in the face. I was so mad. Also, like many of the men commenting on this post, I haven't always had the best luck with the ladies. Don't get me wrong, I've dated very beautiful women and have had great relationships, but it never came easy. At least not as easy as one may assume.

      I'm 25 now and live in Hollywood. When you're good looking in Hollywood, shit gets even weirder. I'm constantly judged for my looks. Constantly. I feel like I have to prove people wrong all the time. I'm in the music industry and work with a lot of hip-hop & R&B acts. My looks definitely don't match what I do or who I'm around. Everyone assumes I'm a shallow actor or model. I get looked at a lot. You would think by now I would have gotten used to it, but it still boggles me sometimes. Now that I think of it, shit, it's really damn weird to be insecure about being good looking, but I promise you it's a real thing. This is all a bit of a ramble, but honestly I've never talked to anyone about this before because who the fuck wants to hear someone complain about being good looking??? NO ONE lol.

      I can say that I am finally starting to just own it, appreciate it & use it to my advantage, especially in this very vain town. I'm smart, understanding, empathetic & very in touch with my purpose. I have awesome people around me because they know my heart. I hope we can start to all appreciate each other for the content of our character exclusively.

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      Kate 13 months ago

      I love pretty boys/men and I'm happy to be with a guy who's more attractive than me (I'm probably an 8 out of 1o and love guys who are 10s). My definition of a pretty boy or pretty man is any really good looking guy who's pleasing to the eye (I prefer somewhat muscular pretty guys). I don't think looking more like a female is what makes a guy pretty (that can look kind of yucky on a guy). That's like saying a puppy is cuter if it looks more like a kitten, but that's not the case; a really cute puppy doesn't look more like a kitten, but like a really cute puppy.

      Examples of pretty boys/pretty men - Zac Efron, Justin Bieber, Taylor Lautner, Paul Walkner, Chad Michael Murray, Sterling Brim, young Brad Pitt, young Matt Dillon, the Winchester brothers in Supernatural, most of the guys in Shadow Hunters (to name a few). I wish there were more gorgeous guys around, but a lot of them make themselves less attractive (I can't wait till beards go out again) or just don't do what it takes to get attractive (like getting in shape).

      A lot of girls are threatened by really good looking guys for a variety of reasons, depending on the girl (not all these reasons apply to all girls) - they're afraid he'll reject them (so they reject first), they're afraid they'll lose him to a prettier girl, they're intimidated, they're afraid he'll cheat, they're afraid he'll upstage them with the one characteristic (beauty) that society tells women they must possess, they're afraid he might be gay. Yet we're still attracted to the pretty/gorgeous guys (even the girls who don't admit it). So a lot of girls lust after the good looking superstars, but in real life shy away from the gorgeous boys. Plus, most girls won't be the first to initiate the relationship and more really good looking boys than average guys wait to be approached.

      And yes, a lot of less attractive guys are jealous or threatened by the pretty boys - afraid they'll get all the girls (maybe take his girl) and sometimes even afraid of their own attraction to the pretty boys.

      It's hard for anyone to be hated on (and especially hard for people struggling with self-esteem issues), but the best thing is to rise above it. Instead of getting angry, a pretty guy should just recognize the hatred for what it is (a jealous or insecure, threatened reaction) and then proceed to show everyone what a great guy he is, regardless of anyone's preconceived and often false ideas. Keep shining, pretty boys!

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      prettyboy8/10 13 months ago

      so tired of jealous men trying to put me down and actually im the nicest guy who is not cocky at all.. in the city i lived in looks didnt even matter in relationships, woman wanted money. I was a romantic nice guy who wanted to be the perfect boyfriend by being a good person and working out ect. but all girls seem to be is gold diggers so im trying to learn to be a player which means forget the nice guy turn into a dick. might aswell be when you have the rich unattractive guys hating the good looking guys and the woman only dating the rich guys but probably cheating on them with the attractive guys ha. still trying to figure out the best way to act around the guys who are threatened by me though.. its awful when they are your employers teachers and even a therapist.. ive had all harassing me. I think they assume that woman throw themselves at attractive guys. but woman do not approach men, that does not happen and we still get rejected so much, i think girls sometimes like rejecting good looking guys honestly, makes them feel good about themselves.

      im only 20 and dated all highschool so it is new to me. i think sometimes people dont realize highschools over, in highschool you see the hot girls dating the hot guys but after that you see old men with the hot girls..Good looking men are not allowed to have bad days also... the not good looking men are very confused when we have problems it seems like.. i read a article that said attractive girls should all be gold diggers from another woman who had probably aged out of her beauty, i feel like its kinda like telling all good looking guys to fuck everything that moves before they get old... but the grass is ALWAYS greener. i will keep looking for dream girl well trying to be a player.. But lets be honest men rule the world, good looking woman they get to do whatever they want, i also think unattractive men get that confused with good looking men, they think we have it that way maybe...if only woman ruled the world i would be set for life ha...peace

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      Stu 14 months ago

      Hey mate, I really enjoyed your article, I think you hit the nail right on the head, so to speak.

      I know some might think your article is some way of shining light on oneself, but personally I see it as a very honest evaluation of your interactions with others.

      It took me a long time to understand why I too had issues, mainly with men, my whole life.

      Unfortunately due to negative experiences growing up I thought I was unattractive and unwanted, and this was due to what I was being told.

      I was teased a lot in school and still get pick on and shunned at times to this day, I now know it was for my looks, although at the time I never understood why one friend in a group would suddenly flip on me and launch an attack on me in order to discredit me to my other friends.

      I feel this is nearly always due to the insecurity of others that in turn causes jealousy within them and subsequently they lash out. They feel inferior due to their own judgement of themselves and are blinded by their pride, which causes them to send out their poison in hopes that it will make them feel better about themselves.

      Basically if they can make me feel shit then they wouldn't feel inferior to me.

      The ironic thing is that I put less value in being attractive than what other men I know do and maybe that just infuriates them even further?

      I'm only probably average in the self-confidence department and have never been the "prowling" type but the guys who seem to be most threatened are the ones who are also good looking and seem to be more confident than I.

      They will even go as far as to devalue me to other females even though I had no interest in those particular girls at all.

      People think that being good looking is the be all and end all but it's just the grass is greener thing really.

      When I go out, especially if I'm well dressed most people will look at me, young and old, men and women, babies love me so I guess it has to with the whole symmetry thing and that people like to look at visually pleasing things.

      This was a big issue for me when I was younger, I hated that people looked at me it made me feel conspicuous and consequently I thought there must be something odd about my appearance. I guess I didn't have enough ego to immediately assume that it must be because they find me attractive.

      The oddest thing I've encountered is women, who you I have never met before, who I engage with in public, like say shop clerk or bar staff, suddenly giving me a lot of hate as if I had done something horrible to them.

      It's weird cause I'm only interacting with them to say make a purchase and their acting like I have snubbed them in some way. People tell me it's probably because she likes me and so my response is always, "well if she does like me showing me her bad attitude isn't going to make me interested, is it?"

      So for me being good looking hasn't been an advantage for the most part.

      Sure being good looking does have benefits, I only really realised how good looking I was by about age 30, and now I do use it to get preferable treatment when I can but feel it is only fair cause I also get discriminated against at the same time.

      We all have to live with the hand that we are dealt, and our ridiculous society that puts so much emphasis on looks is totally to blame for people feeling inferior for not meeting up to the glamour of Hollywood movie stars, etc.

      It's a shame that people forget that they are more than their looks and that everyone has a talent or ability that makes them shine bright.

      The tragic part is the fact that people have such a low self esteem that they feel the need to put others down in order to raise themselves up.



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      Kiikee 15 months ago

      I hate pretty boys they are obnoxious from being treated differently. I found this article painful to read because it was written just like a conversation with a pretty boy goes. At the end of the day's looks aren't important enough for me to want to hear about as excessively as a pretty boy wants to talk about them. Guess I fit under the assuming shallow category of women, I may also feel it's my place to be the attractive one in the relationship too lol. But all of this is dumb figured I'd speak from the other side

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      Anti-Valentine 17 months ago from My lair

      bje117, I would never put anyone else above myself,when I know full well that nobody would ever do the same for me. And it's not because I'm undeserving of it, it's just because that's how people are. They're selfish.

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      The God's Honest Truth 17 months ago

      What really amazes me is that i do unfortunately see the Ugliest looking men with the most Attractive women which i will Never understand at all since many of us Good looking men have Trouble meeting a Good woman. It really makes you wonder that a lot of these women want a man with Money these days Ugly Or Not since it is all about the Money for many of the women of today that Weren't like this at all years ago. Many men and women back then were Struggling to make ends meat and Accepted one another for who they were as well. Now that many women have a Career today which Most of them are so very Greedy And Selfish since they will only want the Best of all and will Never settle for Less since the women of today have really Changed for the Worst. Lets face it since Most women will Never go with a man even if he is a very Good man that makes much Less Money than they make which makes it even more sad. A very Excellent Reason why many of us Good men are still Single today since we have No Reason to ever Blame ourselves to begin with. Our parents were very Blessed to find Love with one another years ago since it Definitely was a lot Easier for them which the Times were Completely Different as you can see. And it is very Amazing that many of our Family Members are still together now as i speak. It is just too very Bad that many of us men Weren't Born at that time which Most of us Would've been all Settled Down too since many of us are still Not married with No Family now since it does Take Two To Tangle. The women of today are really to Blame for this mess.

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      bje117 17 months ago

      I think most women want a real man who will talk to them, care about them and love them. Good looks is a plus, but not a necessity. Overly effeminate guys are a bit of a risk as you may fear they are gay and will leave you for another man. Women also tend to want guys who can do the things they are not as good at doing, so having more muscle, more courage, more "manliness" and less uncontrolled emotions helps too.

      One thing I have learned is that when you fall in love with someone, you stop seeing flaws. The ugly guy starts looking attractive. I think as long as you care about another person and put them above yourself and are honest and know when to back off, you will find many friends. The more you care about your looks, the more people will perceive you are conceited and self centered and those are not attractive traits no matter how pretty you perceive yourself to be.

      As the old saying goes, beauty is on the inside and people who get to know you see that inner beauty and the outer shell ceases to matter so much.

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      Too Pretty boy 2 years ago

      Interesting article and here are my own thoughts on this which like some of the people above I find makes life quite painful


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      Quan Duong 2 years ago from NY, Hanoi

      @Bella For your sake, I hope you are not too serious about the last part. No one sucks, woman or man! Yes it will be hard, yes it will require a lot of patience but if you persevere, the end will be worth it.

      I wouldn't consider myself fortunate (or cursed?) enough to be thought of as a pretty boy and to be frank, I've never had a girlfriend for the past 24 years of living, and yes, I do appreciate women romantically as opposed to men (have very strong evidence for this). But a life based on hopelessness only results in depression. Simply appreciate yourself and the presence, work hard on the direction of your dreams and persevere, persevere and persevere!

      Best wishes everyone!

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      Josh 2 years ago

      I'm a pretty boy in the sense that I have soft facial features and look a lot younger than my age. I never had a lot of luck with women though. I've only been with like 6 or 7 . I see women looking at me but I never really had the motivation to walk up to a girl randomly and pull numbers. I met all of my girlfriends online. Not to be s jerk, but I tend to date down. I'm usually the better looking one in the relationship. I'm 31 and I am married and most people think that I'm gay. Most of my male coworkers dislike me.

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      ken 2 years ago

      well everyone considers me to be a pretty boy as i have all of those features. but people dont hate me, usually people are very good and kind to me.

      people tell me i have kind eyes and i just have a nice caring warm vibe and people feel comfortable with me easily. and i am down to earth so i think thats why people dont hate on me.

      however, i dont do all that crazy stuff like earrings or expesnive clothes and matching my outfits and any of that. im classy and just chill with my clothes. i just have really nice skin hair and face bone structure. so maybe its that aspect of pretty boy that people dont like?

      just my opinion but maybe im wrong

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      KangarooFlower 2 years ago

      Though I'm saying this without knowing what it's like to be you, I wish I could say to you guys, who comment that you sometimes do stuff to make yourself less pretty (like grow a beard or wear a hat) ;

      Nooooo don't try to stop being a pretty boy.

      If there were more pretty boys, then it would all be less of a problem. So there should be more, not less of you.

      Also, it's helpful if more guys would be attractive for women, to be supportive of women. It is similar to, if you have a sex partner, and you do something to please them or excite them. Being attractive for someone, is almost the same thing - as anything else you do to turn your partner on. However, the way our world is, women only are taught to be attractive. Men do not return the favor. It is like men, expecting a sexual favor from women, while men refuse to please women just as much.

      So there should be more pretty boys.... And the way people treat you is really unfair. Though maybe also consider that, people treat girls quite badly, as well. And if you were a gal, you'd likely notice that women tend to behave pretty uncomfortable toward each other. I don't know if that is anything like your experience as a pretty boy. But it could be one thing to consider, if you think of it in terms of being supportive of women.

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      mikeydcarroll67 2 years ago

      For me, I think genetics may have a small part of it, but there is also a big element of taking care of oneself can go a long way with things too. It is also important to have a positive attitude with things too.

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      David 2 years ago

      I love this article I stumbled onto this by accident but I agree with the article and comments of what is being said. I am 24 years old and everybody I have met simply say you are so good looking you must getting a lot of action. Whenever I am walking down the street men and women stop and stare at people. Whenever I am on a train and I happen to sit opposite a woman I could see her lick and lips and playing with her hair.

      My most embarrassing moment is when I turned 21 and me and my friend went to a restaurant/bar to celebrate my birthday. While we were eating a group of womens came in and they starting drinking. By the end of the night the girls were pissed. My friends went to get the car and I went to the toilet and when I came down one of the girls so me and told her friends and then they started shouting at the top of their voice "he so cute he so cute" and everybody started to look including all the staff. I was so embarrassed I had to leave the restaurant.

      When I turned 22 my beard started to grow now sometimes when I go out I just grew my beard out and wear hat whenever I do not want to be bothered. This enables me to fade into the background.

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      Anti-Valentine 2 years ago from My lair

      Yea, I've experienced that myself -- the bit about guys kissing their girls in front of you. Not too long ago when I was walking along, some guy saw me before his girlfriend did, and he literally pulled her right up close to him. Dirty looks and that sort of thing -- I also get that quite a bit.

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      michael 2 years ago

      I am 35 years old and I am glad. When I was kid roughly about 5 years old girls used to call cute and women used to say he going to be a heart breaker.

      As I got older I became more and more good looking. Girls and women use to literally turn around and look at me when I walked down the street. At first it was flattering but after sometime it became annoying. One time I was in MacDonald with my friends I could hear the girls saying wow he so cute. When I turned 18 and I could drink the girls at the bar would bend down so that I could see their cleavage and offer to buy me a drink and the bartenders would not leave me alone.

      The worst thing was whenever I got into a train and there was a couple the guy would give me a dirty look before kissing his girlfriend in front of me. I could literally see the excitement in his face as I got up to leave. This happened for a few years and like one guy in the previous post I think he was 18 whenever I walked down the street guys would pretend to smile and burst out laughing so that I would think something is wrong with me.

      Now that I am 35 it happens a little bit not as much but sometimes the younger get a little jealous whenever their girlfriend look at me. For instance there were these three kids roughly about 21 (two boys and a girl). The girls turns around and says that man is so cute and the younger boy turns around and says maybe but he old. I tend get that sometimes when a younger girl looks and me the younger guys tend to disrespect me. Even women my age tend to say I won't go for you and when I say why they say ooh you player.

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      Quan Duong 2 years ago from NY, Hanoi

      stumbled into this hub a while ago, what a fantastic read! Sincere and straightforward, just my cup of tea. I'm a male and I find appreciating pretty guys I see around rather easily, so it is as you say, it really comes down to personal disposition and character to appreciate others. Mind you, I'm not gay (the biggest crushes in my life so far and right now are females). Hang on there guys, you gonna run into 10 jerks along the way but if you keep walking long enough, some kind soul will appreciate you for you.

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      Simone 3 years ago

      Brad Pitt and David Beckham are attractive men, not pretty boys - no one would think they looked anything like a woman. Johnny Depp is a pretty boy, and he isn't aging well. Rob Lowe, pretty boy, not aging well. And you're right, men's features aren't as fine and so they don't have as much to lose, but pretty boys, like beautiful women, have tremendous beauty to lose, so the contrast is greater when they age, and it looks like they age worse.

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      Muz 3 years ago

      Like everyone else here I stumbled across this article as I'm at a loss to why I'm struggling to meet someone. Girls have asked if I'm gay. They say you dress well, look after yourself and are a nice guy so you must be gay. It feels a bit vein to even talk about it and in reality I can't bring myself to say I'm good looking. I'm one of those guys who always looked younger for their age. Everyone would say oh that's great for when your older you will look young. I am 41 now and look early to mid 30's and it has never been great. Girls near my age think I'm young and younger girls aren't mature enough for me. I'm on the shorter side with dark hair and big green eyes with cute pretty boy looks. I'm in pretty decent shape for my age and care about my appearance. I'm probably cliché metro sexual guy. I'll let my beard grow a bit and avoid shaving as too try not to look too pretty and dull myself down. I'm still struggling to meet someone I can connect with and it's getting to the point where I think it is not going to happen. Girls seem to want one night stands or a fling only with me. Occasionaly (rarely) some women are interested in a relationship but no one I have felt any connection with and that is the most important thing for me. Many women think I'm a player or been with heaps of women.. which is far from the truth. I can be fun to be around, quite friendly and can have good conversation. Women sometimes judge me for that...and actually have said after speaking for a short time.. I know your type... your smooth and so on... which is hurtful. To me when I talk to some women you can see them going through there mental check list and think that your too good to be true so something must be wrong etc..I'm not perfect but I'm a fairly decent person whom respects women. I've been told I'm unapproachable by a friend's friend. Really?I'm just a guy looking for love like everyone else. Am I to end up alone because women feel threatened by my pretty looks? It's getting to the stage where I don't even bother looking at a girl I'm attracted to any more because I think what is the point. I don't want to feel that way. It's awful. Pretty guys just want love too. Please don't judge a book by it's cover. Actually have a conversation and see what's inside before judging. Some of us could be what your looking for.

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      jamal 3 years ago

      Kenny, (the guy who commented most recent before me) I can relate to you, I'm 18 and have that light skinned pretty boy look and girls pretty much gasp when I'm out and some get all teary eyed. The females seem to enjoy the sight of me. Guys hate me purely for that, everywhere I go there has to be some fool who tries his best to make me look stupid, whether I am just walking by, looking for something in the store, getting on the bus or train there are always those few idiots that try to laugh or snigger under their breaths pretending as if there is something abnormal about me that is there to be laughed at. Guys constantly try to subliminally and subtly ridicule me when I'm out and about. Pure intense jealousy. Kenny you should be proud of your looks, us guys are lucky to be made this way, effortlessly getting female attention, however irritating it is, just ignore the idiots that are purely envious. Don't give them your time of day at all. They would kill to be in our shoes but since they unfortunately aren't they resort to petty antics like trying to piss off handsome strangers of the same gender.

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      kennykenny 3 years ago

      I like all the stories and experiences that you all have talked about. I'm 6'4" 200 lbs light skinned black guy (the mixed black/white look). I' m 39 years old now (thank god) and I still can't buy a friend among my own race of people. I have to downplay myself all the time at bars/clubs. If I don't, then people just treat me like I have a f*****g disease! Couples at bars usually leave within 15 minutes of me sitting down. Men stare at me constantly as much as women, like they are seeing a ghost.. Girls often times regarded me as beautiful! I used to kinda like but now it makes me unhappy because women 30-39 seem to not like pretty boys out of fear them cheating. I was younger all the hottest girls would throw themselves at me and high school. Visiting my friends high school caused a riot as if I was a celebrity. Older gay men would pull over in their cars and offer me "a ride". I respectfully declined all occasions. I have only had 2 true male friends im my whole life. I am the nicest person and not conceited by any means at all. Sometimes I wish I was regular or average looking so I can fit in. I'm kinda glad my son who is 14 is brown skin and will blend in better than me. I have been in more fights than most people (at least 30-35) street fist fights) and in none of them I was the aggressor. Its like living in a lonely world where people just flat out hate your guts and want to hurt you for looking nice. Being older now, I have learned to deal with it mostly and dont care much at all like I used to. Guys still stare and talk trash about me amongst themselves when they in groups sometimes. It still haunts me even at this age.. perhaps when im like 60 years old or so people will feel more comfortable with me.. I been single for about 7 years now and enjoy it alot. You guys just have to stay strong.. we go through things for a reason

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      Blucky 3 years ago

      I have been confused about this for years, but I think I somewhat understand now why people have treated me this way. I knew that I was a cute kid, small, blonde, big green eyes and some people fauned over me, but other kids picked on me and called me gay and made me feel bad about myself. As a teenager, I was insecure because I was thin and still good looking and some other teenagers treated me different or mean too. When I got out of high school I had a manager who started this shit about me and made my life miserable, and in the military I got called a pretty boy and harassed even though I was the one who did the best on Physical training tests, etc. This hasn't happened much lately as I have gotten older, but it has happened a few times even though I am the average acting guy. I can dance really well though, and that can be perceived as a gay thing, or an area of jealousy as well.

      I think maybe it is not only being attractive, but possibly having some physical characteristics that people see as "pretty" and not the more rugged type of handsome. I think if a guy looks masculine with a square jaw, smaller eyes and thicker muscle frame, he is the acceptable type of handsome. He isn't as threatening to women's sense of beauty, or to guys sexual attraction. Also, I am not cocky at all, as I have had a lot of insecurities about my looks over the years. Strange that I have been focusing on the negative when it was the positive things that have been causing the problems.

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      nasia pink 3 years ago

      Seriously,I love pretty boys I think they're hot as hell so yeah I careless what people have to say about me cause that's my perspective.....

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      Xandro Bidal 3 years ago

      Okay, so I’m not a pretty boy, or pretty guy…or whatever. I do love pretty males since I am gay and don’t really care who knows! I just sometimes find it really difficult to swallow that I’m not a pretty, sexy, or physically appealing individual. I just wish that for one day I would know what it was like to be the “hot” thing across the street, or walking the club! I wish I was the type of pretty that makes any outfit look good, and every photo look great. I guess I’m not that photogenic either when you come to think of it, I have this problem with my head and my face!

      I guess all I wanted to say is I’m a great-big fan of the pretty boys and pretty men, the beautiful types, even though I might be a light-bit jealous. I love them and I find them gorgeous, and stunningly perfect-beautiful, and I just love to praise them anywhere I see them. You won’t notice, because I’m very unemotional about it, but the appreciation is there.

      Also, as for your question as to why gay guys might not like you very much, it has nothing to do with you rather more to do with the fact that you’re beautiful. All the gay guys I’ve come across cannot stand anyone else whom might pose a territorial threat…specially guys! If they know you’re gay and they can bed you, they’ll be fine with you, but if they know you’re straight they have to hate you because they cannot be intimate with you, so therefore you’re competition! Either way, anyone wanting to get in your face, whether male or female, just out-of-the blue, with no provocation whatsoever absolutely means its jealousy.

      Either way, to all those beautiful and sexy males out there, please don’t feel you’re hated by EVERYONE…some of us are very much enjoying your presence.

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      jason 3 years ago

      wow,, love this article

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      jon 3 years ago

      Nick's polite message to you in a nutshell is-Its YOUR attitude(that includes "psychology", "language" and "interaction") that needs to change.Implication-Since you look better than other people you will need to be EXTRA cautious about what you say and how you say it.Sounds like prejudice?

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      Nick 3 years ago

      its all to do with attitude. the way you communicate your words through gestures and expression, your posture, the types of things you do have many different layers of meaning.

      on one level its socially symbolic, and ofc manly men will ostracize it because its part of how alpha males assert their dominance as a ritual of maintaining status.

      on another level, its about language, psychology and interaction. the way you phrase a sentence has subtext and connotations. for instance, your article begins with the word "okay", considering that the author has self-identified as a pretty boy, within context that could be read as condescending, and as an implicit extension of "okay y'all, im about to lay this down for the dumb motherfuckers out there so everyone sit down and stfu because im talking". this is reinforced by how the author, and uses several first person contractions to begin each following sentence "I’m a pretty boy. I always have been. I’ve been called names by people, and it was usually unprovoked. I’ll be minding my own business and I’ll hear some guy say". Four times, this sets the tone that the following text is going to primarily be about the author himself rather than the topic he is talking about. Further, "minding my own business" places blame status upon the other person and victim status upon the author.

      These are just a couple of examples, one which is self-expression; who you are as a person, and the other is entirely your choice centering upon your utilization of language; implicitly conveying your attitudes and beliefs. You can be a "prissy boy" and the most popular loved guy, or you can be a "prissy boy" and the one everyone hates. When it comes down to it, superficial qualities mean absolutely nothing, they are quirks. You might get made fun of for like, 5 minutes, but if you deal with it well, don't get offended, exemplify that you are a good sport, love and are secure of yourself, then they will quickly stop, and begin hailing you as a god instead. If you take the bait, then it will only continue to get worse.

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      jon 3 years ago

      people don't hate or judge stars like brad pitt or Beckham cuz they don't exactly seem like 'real life' people to them...so they don't even bother....you on the other hand are always going to face the unfair prejudice..their opinions about you will be based on some vague feeling or arrogant 'vibe' or 'aura' that they feel around you..they mistake their insecurity(which they obviously don't want to face) for your arrogance..you ask them 'why?' you won't get a real answer out of them...they will say something like 'u r big headed' 'u r too self obsessed' 'everything is not about you'...but it will be far from logic...people hate natural gifts that other people have...although genius is definitely one of those natural gifts but that most of the people don't have a problem with because it still requires some effort on your part(you can't sit on your hands, do nothing and call yourself a genius)....but looks well that's a problem now isn't it? cuz it begs the question-why him or her? who not me?....ever wonder about those dumb, ugly pictures with people making stupid faces and thinking its cute (i'm being brutally honest here) on social networking sites that get an overwhelming number of likes...well that's just the way world is-admire the flaws and demean the virtues-to create a convenient pseudo-balance....so like they say 'be humble'

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      Pretty boy club member 3 years ago

      Thanks for sharing, I searched "why some people think I'm gay" and found this. I was also called a pretty boy growing up and had lots of anger thrown my way from both guys and girls. Ive had "straight" guys say they would fuck me, had girls accuse me of being gay, and gay guys hating me for no apparent reason.

      Another thing I noticed is while others seem to get away with being quiet or keeping to themselves I get accused of being a snob or that I'm gay. Like going to the gym and i'm doing nothing different from the guy next to me, ie working out with headphones on, but a couple of girls watching me and making comments that I'm a snob or gay.....wtf I can still hear you!

      It has been a big issue in my life, made me really want to avoid people all together and really brought me down, but now I'm 36 and understanding it all makes my life much better. I think you said it perfectly that people want to destroy beautiful things, I always remembered this line in fight club.

      The crazy thing is I'm a good guy and get on with most folks so it's not like I'm conceded or anything.

      Btw I'm actually 5'6" so don't have the height going for me but I have confidence in who I am. But again the confidence is always challenged when getting random hatred from some stranger who doesn't even now you and for no apparent reason..... Well we know the reason

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      Ana Maria Orantes 3 years ago from Miami Florida

      There are a lot of good looking men .Specially when they play sports.I am so lucky to be around pretty boys. They are nice people. They look for the kind people because they are kind too. Because they have both qualities. They have a lot of people around them. I like your hub. It nice to talk about pretty boys. People are always looking for the opposite look from them. Thank you for sharing your article.

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      krissy 3 years ago

      Thanks for this input. Im a pretty girl that only likes pretty boys. One liked me but I was intimidated by our age difference & all the girls surrounding him like a rock star. I was uncomfortable & insecure. Im 15 yrs. Older, but get hit on alot by younger guys. At least 10 younger.I have no friends because women give me dirty looks & men have ulterior motives. This clarifies some stuff about this hot guy. Maybe I can be more empathetic. He seems to be a player though.

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      blessingface 4 years ago

      I agree! I'm not the most beautiful person around and I've never heard or experienced a guy going through or treated the way you have (I'll keep in mind everything you said next time I meet a pretty boy), so its kind of a shock(eye-opening) but I see it A LOT with women. Where I live there are a lot of beautiful women and because of that, a lot of women like to b**ch about them even though they don't know them in a very judgemental, and you can say prejudiced way. Its either they're stuck up, slutty, air-headed, b**ch etc. The list goes on. I also notice these beautiful women (the extremely beautiful women) end up with ugly or average guys. Although that's not always true most of the time it is. Probably because they went out with so many pretty, handsome guys/boys that they've gotten over that superficial attraction and they want more. It may as well be what you said that they feel threatened with their good looking boyfriends because that's how women are.

      A factor you skipped though is that a lot of pretty boys are pretty boring (or just boring as hell!) (lame sense of humour, unable to have truly interesting or intellectual conversation) (That's from personal experience and what I've read online) which makes sense.

      If a person has been very good looking they're whole life and never has trouble getting friends, guys/girls for it, why would their personality be interesting since people are always taking interest in them?

      People who are average compensate for their average or ugliness with personality so they come out just as attractive but good looking people don't have to compensate for their attraction. For example, have you ever watched Brad Pitt in an interview? He is SOOO BORING.(He's a great looking guy, but it takes more than that to hold my attention.)

      I know there are many exceptions, such as you and the people who commented here but the opposite usually is true (Hate to break it like that). Especially where I live. Hopefully I'll meet a good looking guy who isn't so boring and wants to be in a committed relationship because personally I'm not threatened with other girls, beautiful or not, around my potential boyfriend because He'll love me for who I am just as much as I'll love him for who he is, (The good looks are just a bonus) Its the insecure people who hate and wish to destroy good looking people like you,(I see that everyday)like they are aliens from outer space with powers non can resist. Although it hurts, when this happens,to the least you know then and there their insecurity instead of later.

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      Chuckfitzgerald 4 years ago

      When I was young and oh so shy I got hit on by men. I was so naïve that I didn't realize what was happening. I actually had strangers buy me a drink. Once when I was out with friends a guy my age who was someone else's friend talked me into going to another club. When there he bought me a beer and told me that he was gay. I didn't know what he was talking about. In the Army black guys always wanted to talk to me. I was unaware of what was going on. I don't and never thought of my self as pretty but only average looking even to this day. When I got married it continued and sometimes by women I worked with. Men touch me on the shoulder or get too close to me. This all seemed very creepy to me. I'm not gay and don't act gay.

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      LooksCanBeACurse 4 years ago

      Just come across this article, even though it was written some time ago.

      However, the message still runs true and I think has always run true for years. For as long as I can remember, I have experienced this sort of negativity off people especially woman. I myself am female and realise I too was blessed with unusually, natural beauty and a very good physic. The amount of women haters and abuse I have suffered throughout my life, people judging me by my looks when in reality I am a quite, kind person.

      The sad thing is, my son who is now 14(nearly 15)too has been blessed or cursed more accurately- with soft, beautiful face. His hair is to his waist. Thick and shiny. He is tall and slender. He likes girls a lot but is too shy ask a girl out. He suffered bullying and boys hate him for no reason when in fact he is the kindest, polite, wonderfully funny lad anyone could wish to meet but no one wants talk to him and it breaks my heart.

      He is so beautiful, people stare at him on street but at school no one wants to get close it upsets me that history repeating itself. Girls think he's too pretty and his hairs better than theirs and boys hate him because of his looks. I wish this didn't happen but it does. You see, when everyone around you all look the same then you get someone who has more, people can't handle that. People can not handle something or someone that stands out way above because they look untouchable like a perfect painting.

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      James 4 years ago

      Excellent article and points my friend. I'm a member of the pretty boys anonymous as well. I have had the same experiences, negative and positive in my life. Judging by your understanding you seem perhaps older than me. I'm 30, how old are you?

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      Jason Raghubir II 5 years ago from Miller Place, New York

      For the longest time, I have been trying to find someone to explain the ludicrous and absurd life that I live. This blog helped me a bit to understand the retarted shit I go through on a daily basis. But then again, you'd be surprised that what you have went through (and still going through), I have it 100 times worse!!!!!!!!!!! I'm also a male model but not well built. I'm a combination of those 80's hair bands meets john stamos from full house. After 23 years of living, I truly believe God either hates me or that I am cursed with fucked up shit. I do have a gf (after 17 years of chasing them!) But I still am not happy. For the longest time, I can remember always going out, whether I was single or not, and people either looking at me funny and hearing someone call me fag or heshe. My gf tells me I am crazy and wants me to go seek help. Yeah right. The shit that bothers me is that I know I am a very rare.....RARE. and exotcic beautiful looking man. Look at my pics if you want proof. But holy shit, almost everybody disagrees with me. People, young and ond seem to both dislike and again, all I do is mind my own business. I've been rejected by chicks since age 5, couldn't have close friends with guys and I barely get modeling and acting gis because the market is either ugly fucks or clean cuty ambercrombie & bitch. I used to look in the mirro and flaunt as if I am the cat's meow. Now I look at myself and think, ''what in God's fucking name is this???' People do not appreciate a beautiful man....I always believe that girls and women would want me and guys would think that I'm cool to hang with. Never happened...........I am slowly self destructing

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      lionsfan 5 years ago

      Holy $hit!! I've never thought of my self as 'pretty', but i have been told. All the hate the author was outlining is soo true...i was finishing some of his sentences before id finish reading them! Amazing! I don't feel so alone or bad about myself anymore now that i know others were thinking the same thoughts. much love bro, and THANK YOU!!

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      zblix 5 years ago

      Thank you for clearing things up for me. I'm a tall well built long haired f***ing pretty boy, or so i keep hearing.

      I didn't start off like that, puberty was hell for me. I was over weight with bad hair & worse skin, I didn't thin out until I was 23. I still feel like a fat kid until I catch my reflection.

      I've only been in one relationship & that was when I was chubby, now It's just one night stands or a fling.

      The thing is I am now 35 but people who meet me for the 1st time assume I must be 25/26, I smile & say my real age, they stare at me like I'm an alien? Women assume I'm gay, yet gay men assume I'm homophobic?

      I have to be wary when walking through certain parts of the city I live in because I've been verbally threatened (by chavs /Jeremy Kyle viewers) & had empty beer bottles thrown my way. I've been attacked in clubs & male bouncers & bar-staff seem to hate me & even most of my male relatives cant stand being around me. My boss never invites me to his house any more because his (horny) teenage daughters get all giggly & excited & initiate awkward conversations such as "which one of us looks better with (insert generic female clothing/accessory) on?", & most women I pass on the street have that 'pinched' look on their faces or just glare at me if I smile!?!

      Yet I know some very 'average' to even 'ugly' guys who are very arrogant but are treated way better then me by almost everyone. The only time I get compliments are when women are drunk, but then the next time I see them their sober & hate me! The older I get the less I'm invited places.

      I've also noticed if I'm with someone & we have to ask directions or speak to some one the 'stranger' will ignore me & converse with my friend/colleague, I've also noticed a few glares & looks of contempt hidden as 'micro expressions' shot my way when I have to interact with strangers.

      Being a human who grew up being called 'fat face', 'bum cheeks' or a myriad of other (worse) insults, to being hated for not being unattractive is an eye opener. I will even dress down when I don't have to look smart, just so I can fade into the background but then people just act like they are better then me because their trainers cost more.

      The only time I feel normal is when I travel to Europe, almost every body there likes tall attractive men. Even here in the UK most foreigners I meet will say " You are the nicest English person I have met, or here is my email contact me if you are ever in (insert European city)".

      I feel like an Elf surrounded by Hobbits & Dwarfs, Hobbits & Dwarfs with attitude.

      I cant wait to emigrate.

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      dj 5 years ago

      Excellent article........Spot on! Especially the segment about women......whether women want to admit it or not:

      1. they like all of the attention to be on them

      2. they dont like competition from other pretty women...so how in the hell would they tolerate competition from their own good looking man?

      3. They constantly contradict themselves in what they "say" vs what they "do"

      Any woman that wants to try and say the writer is full of himself...or feels this article is bogus is simply "telling on herself"

      U see it all the time....beautiful women with physically unattractive men, and its not even about $$$$ or status, most of the time, the woman simply feels more comfortable with a lesser looking man. She doesn't have to worry about other women wanting her man, but here's where women really do themselves in: Women are very mindful of other attractive women and what they have.....be it a nice purse, watch, a killer pair of shoes....in fact U ladies know this to be true when a a beautiful woman walks in a room....the other good looking women, and the lesser looking women immediately bring out the "cats claws" they look at her clothing, her makeup they cut and roll their their eyes at her.....why??? because she's attractive looking, and they KNOW IT!

      At the same time, they also envy her for having those nice shoes, blouse, purse and even that ugly unattractive man on her arms. In fact this is where women and their logic backfires, they think an ugly boyfriend/hubby wont draw any attention from other women, ladies the best "PR" U could ever give an ugly unattractive man is to be seen out in public with him, it shoots his stock thru the roof like Apple, or Microsoft/Google! LOL When other good-looking women see another good looking woman with a short, fat, physically unattractive man they mentally, subconsciously begin to think: "hmmmmmm, there's something special about that guy.....that gorgeous woman is with him...what is it about him?" and then they become attracted to him and literally make it easy for him. I've seen the shit happen a million times, any ugly guy doesn't believe me??? just be seen out and about around town with a good looking woman a few nights and watch what happens when U are out single.....women are competitive like men could never be! The author of this article knows this...and I know it! In fact if U are a good looking man....U have to be overly nice, and respectful and even at times U have to "dull" down your appearance and even your confidence because women will automatically assume U are arrogant, cocky, conceited the way "unbroken1" responded to the author for simply writing this article. Yet, if U are an unattractive man...U can get away with being sarcastic, funny etc women dont even feel threatened or offended. Here's an example imagine Brad Pitt, George Clooney or some male model walking up to a woman and jokingly tells her "U know U want me...I'm hot" the woman's immediate reaction is to get offended and to start to think "this guy's an asshole and he's full of himself" on the other hand....take a little short squatty looking unattractive man that looks like "George" from Seinfeld...he can tell walk up to a woman and say the the same thing, and that woman will find him not arrogant, but amusing, intriguing, funny, even sexy .....a woman will give that man a pass and say he's funny and confident....whereas the other attractive looking model...she will label him as being arrogant. Two different men saying the exact same thing its just that one man is physically appealing and the other isn't.

      Women are really screwed up and alot of it s simple insecurity and low self esteem....but as a man if U know the rules and how to play the U can get what U want.

      I too am a tall, muscular very handsome & good looking man who is confident....however when a woman compliments me on my appearance I always down play it and tell her that she must be blind and or she's just being nice to me ...by doing this it shows her that even though I am 6ft tall 230 lbs with washboard abs looking like a superhero...that I am "vulnerable" and she wants to show me how attractive looking I am. My ex of 2.5 years still to this day cant believe that I stopped her and approached her, she never felt that she was "good looking enough" for me...even though I know what I like and she was very attractive, the problem is "in her mind I was more attractive looking than her and she felt as if I was doing her the favor" I know crazy right?? She used to tell me how she felt so "honored" to be out in public with me... it's terrible but its the way of the world.......people like to destroy things they feel are too beautiful and again all it is is a lack of self confidence. If U are a person who is physically blessed....the curse is U have to downplay yourself to make others feel comfortable around U about themselves! pretty.

      And this isn't a problem with just women only......even men have issues with good looking men, an associate of mine...a real successful Doctor makes in excess of $400K annually, can have anything that $$$ can buy and he always tries to crack jokes at my expense especially in front of beautiful women....he tells them Im a pretty boy, or that I am gay etc, and that all I do is workout, etc. this guys has the world at his hands and yet he's so insecure about his own physical appearance. Again U have to downplay your appearance, when the boys tell U look like U've slimmed down....tell them nawww I still got a long ways to go, this is the cost for being fortunate to have a couple of good looking parents

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      NarwhalNecropsy 6 years ago

      Well, that dramatically lowers my playing field...

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      Matt 6 years ago

      I'm a male model. Girls usually rate me as a 10, yet, when the night is over, it's the guys who are clearly less attractive and less muscular that get the girls. I thought every girl wanted a man with a defined jaw line, shaved face, ripped abs and big arms. Clearly, I was mistaken. Clearly, women don't know what they want. Outer beauty is more of a curse than I ever imagined it would be.

    • unBroken1 profile image

      unBroken1 7 years ago from Florida

      My...my...we are quite pleased with ourself, eh? lol

      Never thougth I meet anyone as vain as myself.

      Pretty boys are to much competition, give me an ugly sexy man and I'm happy.

    • triosol profile image

      triosol 7 years ago

      very interesting hub. Good article. Voted up.

    • equealla profile image

      equealla 7 years ago from Pretoria, South Africa

      Many moons ago I worked with a colleague whom was married to the most attractive man, perfect in every way. I got to know them quite well, and do recognise some of the things you mention, that I observed with him.

      He was ever so fortunate to have had a very mature and beautiful relationship with his wife.

      Beautiful people, they say, are normally very lonely people. Most of them do not find a partner like my friends above. I hope this article will help people to understand that, in the end, we must look deeper than what meets the eye, be it the beauty or the beast.

      By the way, my man just loves it when I put mask on his face, give him a footspa, file his nails, and give him salon treatment. Pampering is not exclusive for the girls only. It is relaxing, and it makes you feel refreshed, cared for and uplifts the spirit. Even if you do it yourself. Even my pets loves this kind of treatment. It has nothing to do with the lifestyle you lead. I promise you, my cat loves to groom all day, and that does nothing to his sexual preference, lol!

      Good article, I loved the read!

    • Anti-Valentine profile image

      Anti-Valentine 7 years ago from My lair

      Yes, metrosexuality was a buzz word used years ago but still crops up from time to time, and describes the "modern man".

      Personally I cut and file my own nails (I don't get them done somewhere else - but my brother does!), and I don't do facials or masks or anything. I think, why not. I want to look civilized and tidy if I go out.

      I do have long hair though, and no worries - I do wash it and take good care of it mostly.

      You're right though about beauty. That someone who is "cute" to someone might not appeal to someone else. I find this to be true with women - but the men, and I mean most men, don't like the attractive guys, and it's likely due to one of the reasons I outlined above from personal experience.

      Thanks for reading and commenting, love my yorkies.

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      love my yorkies 7 years ago from way out west

      Well now, I've read your hub and found it very interesting. You've clarified several things for me about "pretty boys", but not in a bad way. It just never occurred to me that a man would want to take care of his looks like women do (i.e., facials, manicures & such). And sadly I admit, that I've always assumed a man who did these things had to be gay, I stand corrected. I think that I pretty much agree with everything you've talked about on men & even us women. The three S's plus good looks, would probably be everyone's dream, men and women both. But I feel that in the long run and real life, the three S's are your best bet in finding a mate. Plus, you can't forget the fact that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Now, as far as my looks, I would not be considered "beautiful", cute, pretty, or nice looking maybe, some might even call me average. But, everyone sees something different when they look at you. Oh, and as far as a man having long hair, I don't have a problem with it at all, as long as it is clean and well kept. But that goes for men or women in my opinion. Well, got to go now. Things to do, people to see and places to go. :)