Why Not Everybody Likes a Pretty Boy

Quite a few people (women) like this guy.
Quite a few people (women) like this guy. | Source

I’m Just a Sexy Boy…

Okay, you’re likely going to hate me a little bit after you read all this. I say go ahead: I’m used to it by now.

I’m a pretty boy. I always have been. I’ve been called names by people, and it was usually unprovoked. I’ll be minding my own business and I’ll hear some guy say “he thinks he’s so beautiful”, or “he thinks he’s so cool”. They’re more likely to target me, and focus on my shortcomings or faults. That’s what people always do with beautiful things. They find ways to point out its flaws. It’s human nature to defile and destroy beautiful things after all. We know this by now.

And like I said before – I’m used to being hated for that exact reason. But I don’t just sit there and think: “Why? Why don’t they like me?! Everybody hates me!” while crying in to my pillow like some might.

I’m not just a pretty face as they say. I am a thinker, and I develop my own theories. I might not have studied psychology or whatnot at a fancy university. I don't need a piece of paper from some rinky-dink college telling me that I know people's minds. Theory is all well and good, but real world experience; practical, hands on experience with people will likely teach you much more. Everybody I knew in high school wanted to be a psychologist, and yet they were the ones who struck me as being out of touch, and ignorant on the matter at hand – whatever it was. And they were likely the ones that caused psychological issues in others in the first place too, at that.

Anyhow, I have come up with several reasons why not everybody likes a pretty boy - not even all women do.

And they like him too.
And they like him too. | Source

A pretty boy is an attractive male, with above average looks, perhaps with feminine facial features, who some might regard as being effeminate as far as the way they look or dress. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the mannerisms that they display are that of an effeminate male, although it might. I don’t carry a handbag or wave my hand around like a periscope on a submarine, for example, and I like to wear black a lot, instead of bright flashy colours. Pretty boys are usually not very well built either, but there are exceptions, obviously. Some guys are said to have child bearing hips too. Their legs could be more developed than their upper body is. They're often teased or bullied by other guys because of these traits.

An example of a pretty boy would include the likes of David Beckham, or like the subtitle suggests, Michael Hickenbottom AKA Shawn Michaels, in his prime during his career, for instance. Some have even called Prince William a pretty boy. Brad Pitt would qualify, for sure.

I’m a good looking guy. My self-esteem isn’t so low that I can’t say it. I’ve always thought myself to be more attractive than a lot of guys, and even some girls, around me. I have long dark blond hair, blue eyes and a bit of a slender jaw line. When I was younger, all the women said I was destined to be a ladykiller one day. Of course a ladykiller in this sense isn’t a serial killer, but one who seduces women with charm (although Ted Bundy was both). Good looks can definitely help in this matter.

You want a picture of me as proof? Well, no. You’ll just have to take my word for it. I had a profile picture up at one point but I started to get hate mail. Not really. Some women (hopefully!) did email me and say that “they liked what they saw” - and of course my distrustful nature led me think that there were ulterior motives. With spammers there always is that possibility. That and I like to remain anonymous. I don’t want people getting my picture and looking for me on the streets with dagger in hand - especially after this article.

"That’s what people always do with beautiful things. They find ways to point out its flaws. It’s human nature to defile and destroy beautiful things."

Many guys have given me this look or something like it.
Many guys have given me this look or something like it. | Source

Why men don’t like pretty boys

A guy with long hair usually draws attention, and it isn’t always positive. My thoughts on this are that because hair thinning and baldness is common throughout the world, it’s likely that people, especially men, become jealous when they see a full head of hair on another guy. And because of my long hair I’ve gotten some stares - like in a takeout place years ago, some bald guy with a cap was looking at me. It’s obvious.

Another reason why most men don’t like an attractive guy that much is because they’re threatened. They know that the odds are they will draw a lot of attention from the crowd wherever they go: particularly female attention. Of course nowadays with all these con artists… erm, I mean pickup artists or “PUAs”, around trying to flog their books and so on about how to seduce women and get laid and so on, even an average looking Joe stands a chance – or so they say. The truth is that good looks are a nice bonus to have to match the self-confidence, self-control, and sense of humour that works on women. That’s right, I’ve heard about the “three Ss”. Not that I’ve read the books however. Why read books when you can get the info for free on the web anyway?

Good looks will get you noticed more than ugly features will. Even women, who are supposed to be less shallow and materialistic (*cough*), will say that a guy should be good looking when he approaches a woman - otherwise how will he be able to pull off whatever he has in mind? Hell I read that here on HubPages in the forum!

I’ve heard stories about how a good looking guy would walk in to a bar, and immediately guys started walking up to him. Hang on. It’s not what it sounds like. It wasn’t a gay bar or anything. Please continue reading.

The guys were coming up to him to tell him to stay away from “their” women, and even being as gracious as to point them out. A good looking guy not only makes other men jealous, but makes them insecure. This demonstrates it: that a guy would actually feel as though he has to talk to a guy and tell him not to go after his girl just as he walks in to the place.

Another reason why a guy might not a like an attractive or pretty male is because they think they’re gay. This is also such a sign of insecurity and a backwards way of thought. For several years now metrosexuality has been around, and more and more men are taking care of their looks and not “letting themselves go” like the older generations did. So if one of these guys sees some dude walking around with nice hair, a clear complexion, and maybe even some makeup on, he thinks: “he must be gay”. This idea can be reinforced particularly if this guy usually hangs around with other men, or if guys who really are gay try to hit on him all the time.

This isn’t always the case though, especially nowadays. I didn’t really ever think I was a metro, but then I look at all the creams and products I use. Yes I suppose I could be… like a semi-metro, or something. I try to take care of myself, when I have to. Then again I haven’t had a haircut in over two years. What’s the point? It’ll grow back anyway, right? I save quite a bit of money in that regard.

Another theory of mine is that the guy who hates on the pretty boy is actually gay himself, or latently homosexual – which means it isn’t fully realized yet. He might be attracted to the man in question, and it might even get to the point of having sexual fantasies involving this other man. This no doubt starts to make him doubt his sexuality, and he might curse the day this other guy was born. So his reaction is, because of how the pretty male has made him feel, he must lash out and do everything in his power to make it known or convince himself that he doesn’t like this guy, to make himself feel more masculine, and reassure himself that his heterosexuality is still intact.

These feelings can be exacerbated or made worse if a guy is single and has been for some time, and perhaps if they are misogynistic towards women, perhaps because of their lack of luck in love, or lust. Also, all this stuff that society and the media would have you believe about sexuality can mess with your head and put things out of perspective. It makes the doubts that creep in even worse.

Most men aren’t liberal in this matter. They would never admit that they are actually attracted to another man – because “dude, that’s gay”. Some guys, like David Beckham for instance, are more liberal and can talk about it, and be more honest and open about their feelings. I once read about the scandal surrounding David and that Rebecca “The Floozy” Loos. She claimed he would talk about which men he found attractive and so on. And this was after they’d done the deed too.

It’s like the saying: metrosexuals aren’t gay, but they’re close. Not even all metrosexuals are pretty boys for that matter.

Women however do this all the time. They look at other women and even kiss each other… on the lips. You wouldn’t see a lot of men do this.

I remember how this was explored in a sitcom called ‘Til Death at one stage, when Eddie, Brad Garrett’s character, said that some actor made him experience these weird feelings and that he’d told his wife about it. I’ve also read about guys who do actually talk to their wives about feeling “hot” about another guy. It’s a male crush, and guys are becoming more and more open about it. There have been some movies and so on about bromance and whatever humourous neologisms they can come up with today, like that one movie, I Love You, Man.

Hell, my dad has even commented before that some guy he met was good looking. That guy even turned out to be gay, but my dad didn’t know it at the time. But my dad has been married for over forty years and has four kids and two grandchildren. See my point? It was completely innocent.

My message to these other close-minded men is that it’s the 21st century. It’s okay. Whatever the reason why you’re attracted to another man – it’s okay. Many people are gay or even identify themselves as being bisexual. And the world is gradually becoming more tolerant or even accepting of it. Even though I’ve mentioned homosexuals and so on in this article, I don’t hate them, and I don’t mean to offend them. It’s totally up to that person to live their life and do what they want. It’s none of my business and it doesn’t affect me much at all, I’ll be honest.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re gay though if you find another guy attractive. I don’t think so. Because then we’d all be gay. It’s a natural thing. You might as well make peace with yourself and just admit that some guys are ugly, and unattractive, and some aren’t. Some guys are good looking.

In this society of instant gratification and the “If it feels good, do it” slogan adopted by many, some guys actually follow through with these feelings where others don’t. Even then, if a guy sleeps with another guy, they might not be classed as gay. It’s “experimentation” – unless too many people find out about it.

I’ve heard a man say before, and it was quite interesting: “Maybe we’re all a bit gay or bisexual inside. Maybe God is too, if we’re made in his image.”

I didn’t say that, just so you know. Don’t point the finger at me!

"Another reason why most men don’t like an attractive guy that much is because they’re threatened. They know that the odds are they will draw a lot of attention from the crowd wherever they go: particularly female attention."

"He thinks he’s so cool..."
"He thinks he’s so cool..." | Source

Why women don’t like pretty boys

It’s partially true that women don’t like pretty boys. I know this contradicts a lot of the things I may have said above, and it might well partially prove what they say about women is right after all: that they’re not as into looks or physical appearance as men are.

Let me explain.

On one hand, yes - women do like attractive guys. Guys like Brad Pitt, David Beckham, or George Clooney or something like that, or whoever is rated the world’s sexiest man alive right now. But the chances of ending up with them are slim, seeing as they are all taken anyway. But when it comes to the everyday guy that they see, it can be different for some women out there. They might find said guy attractive, but like we’ve all heard before: beauty is skin deep, and like with pretty women, they automatically think that there’s no inner beauty or that they’re shallow. This is because average or ugly women often think the same about beautiful women. Let’s just simplify and say that this is how they see anybody who is attractive.

Another reason is this: it has been said that average or ugly looking guys with the three Ss I mentioned above (self-confidence, self-control, and sense of humour) are perhaps more desirable in the long run than a good looking guy with said traits. After all they want to be the pretty ones in the relationship, and if the guy has everything, plus looks, then the woman will look like a side dish in comparison. He’s the whole meal, and she’s just a hanger-on, and only temporary at that. Because if he’s so good looking and desirable, then you can bet that you’re not the only one who’s after him. So it could also boil down to a jealousy thing, or feeling threatened as well.

A woman wants a man, and not another woman, in most cases. Pretty men are probably more likely to be sought after for a one night stand or a temporary fling. And this might be the way these men like it anyway. These women might think that the odds of them ending up with such a guy, especially on a more permanent basis, are not in their favour – especially if they aren’t that easy on the eyes themselves.

With pretty women it might be different. If they’re the vacuous type they might then think because a guy is good looking he's also brainless, and just cruises on his good looks.

I’ve also heard some say that it’s always the average or ugly guys who end up with the pretty young things. And it comes down to what might humorously be referred to as the law of averages. The theory is that for every prince out there, there are about 9 frogs, if not more. I tried to use some euphemism there, but maybe it didn’t work. Average looking or even ugly people probably outnumber pretty ones by a big margin. I know – harsh. But it’s true.

There’s also something here that you need to know. Those women are shallow, and they are materialistic. If that guy they’re with has money, possessions, and status, then that’s why they’re with him. Not because of his looks or anything. Just take comfort in knowing that they’ll likely marry that guy and after a while they’ll divorce him and take half of his hard-earned money. I’ve seen it happen. It’s not just a thing that happens in movies. Money makes it a lot easier to love someone, but it doesn’t last as long usually, particularly when there’s no prenuptial agreement.

In comparison, if you’re an attractive guy, but you’re poor and don’t have that success, then probably quite a few women wouldn’t give you the time of day. They wouldn’t stay with you more than one night anyway. Because it’s what they call “chick crack”: success; status; being able to pay for all their wants and needs.

"They want to be the pretty ones in the relationship, and if the guy has everything, plus looks, then the woman will look like a side dish in comparison. He’s the whole meal, and she’s just a hanger-on, and only temporary at that."

Final thoughts

Okay so I’ve gone through a number of reasons why, if you happen to be a good looking guy, people might not like you. Of course you can argue that these are just theories concocted from a paranoid, delusional mind. Whatever makes you sleep better at night. But I know about these things, because I’ve encountered them in my life, and experienced them - on both ends.

In explaining this, I also hope to reach out to these haters and try to tell them that there are deep-seated reasons why you don’t like that attractive guy you always see. You might not actually hate him at all. You’re just making it seem that way. It probably has a lot more to do with you than him.

I’m a pretty boy. I’m not well liked. I’m used to it. I don't like most people either.

“They say that pretty boys don’t age well. That’s only because ugly guys don’t have that much to lose in the first place anyway.”

— Anti-Valentine

What do you think of pretty boys?

  • Love them so much!
  • They're okay but I wouldn't want one hanging around all the time.
  • Hate them so much!
See results without voting

© 2010 Anti-Valentine

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Comments 43 comments

Kiikee 12 days ago

I hate pretty boys they are obnoxious from being treated differently. I found this article painful to read because it was written just like a conversation with a pretty boy goes. At the end of the day's looks aren't important enough for me to want to hear about as excessively as a pretty boy wants to talk about them. Guess I fit under the assuming shallow category of women, I may also feel it's my place to be the attractive one in the relationship too lol. But all of this is dumb figured I'd speak from the other side

Anti-Valentine profile image

Anti-Valentine 2 months ago from My lair Author

bje117, I would never put anyone else above myself,when I know full well that nobody would ever do the same for me. And it's not because I'm undeserving of it, it's just because that's how people are. They're selfish.

The God's Honest Truth 2 months ago

What really amazes me is that i do unfortunately see the Ugliest looking men with the most Attractive women which i will Never understand at all since many of us Good looking men have Trouble meeting a Good woman. It really makes you wonder that a lot of these women want a man with Money these days Ugly Or Not since it is all about the Money for many of the women of today that Weren't like this at all years ago. Many men and women back then were Struggling to make ends meat and Accepted one another for who they were as well. Now that many women have a Career today which Most of them are so very Greedy And Selfish since they will only want the Best of all and will Never settle for Less since the women of today have really Changed for the Worst. Lets face it since Most women will Never go with a man even if he is a very Good man that makes much Less Money than they make which makes it even more sad. A very Excellent Reason why many of us Good men are still Single today since we have No Reason to ever Blame ourselves to begin with. Our parents were very Blessed to find Love with one another years ago since it Definitely was a lot Easier for them which the Times were Completely Different as you can see. And it is very Amazing that many of our Family Members are still together now as i speak. It is just too very Bad that many of us men Weren't Born at that time which Most of us Would've been all Settled Down too since many of us are still Not married with No Family now since it does Take Two To Tangle. The women of today are really to Blame for this mess.

bje117 profile image

bje117 2 months ago

I think most women want a real man who will talk to them, care about them and love them. Good looks is a plus, but not a necessity. Overly effeminate guys are a bit of a risk as you may fear they are gay and will leave you for another man. Women also tend to want guys who can do the things they are not as good at doing, so having more muscle, more courage, more "manliness" and less uncontrolled emotions helps too.

One thing I have learned is that when you fall in love with someone, you stop seeing flaws. The ugly guy starts looking attractive. I think as long as you care about another person and put them above yourself and are honest and know when to back off, you will find many friends. The more you care about your looks, the more people will perceive you are conceited and self centered and those are not attractive traits no matter how pretty you perceive yourself to be.

As the old saying goes, beauty is on the inside and people who get to know you see that inner beauty and the outer shell ceases to matter so much.

Too Pretty boy 12 months ago

Interesting article and here are my own thoughts on this which like some of the people above I find makes life quite painful

Quan Duong profile image

Quan Duong 12 months ago from NY, Hanoi

@Bella For your sake, I hope you are not too serious about the last part. No one sucks, woman or man! Yes it will be hard, yes it will require a lot of patience but if you persevere, the end will be worth it.

I wouldn't consider myself fortunate (or cursed?) enough to be thought of as a pretty boy and to be frank, I've never had a girlfriend for the past 24 years of living, and yes, I do appreciate women romantically as opposed to men (have very strong evidence for this). But a life based on hopelessness only results in depression. Simply appreciate yourself and the presence, work hard on the direction of your dreams and persevere, persevere and persevere!

Best wishes everyone!

Josh 14 months ago

I'm a pretty boy in the sense that I have soft facial features and look a lot younger than my age. I never had a lot of luck with women though. I've only been with like 6 or 7 . I see women looking at me but I never really had the motivation to walk up to a girl randomly and pull numbers. I met all of my girlfriends online. Not to be s jerk, but I tend to date down. I'm usually the better looking one in the relationship. I'm 31 and I am married and most people think that I'm gay. Most of my male coworkers dislike me.

ken 16 months ago

well everyone considers me to be a pretty boy as i have all of those features. but people dont hate me, usually people are very good and kind to me.

people tell me i have kind eyes and i just have a nice caring warm vibe and people feel comfortable with me easily. and i am down to earth so i think thats why people dont hate on me.

however, i dont do all that crazy stuff like earrings or expesnive clothes and matching my outfits and any of that. im classy and just chill with my clothes. i just have really nice skin hair and face bone structure. so maybe its that aspect of pretty boy that people dont like?

just my opinion but maybe im wrong

KangarooFlower 16 months ago

Though I'm saying this without knowing what it's like to be you, I wish I could say to you guys, who comment that you sometimes do stuff to make yourself less pretty (like grow a beard or wear a hat) ;

Nooooo don't try to stop being a pretty boy.

If there were more pretty boys, then it would all be less of a problem. So there should be more, not less of you.

Also, it's helpful if more guys would be attractive for women, to be supportive of women. It is similar to, if you have a sex partner, and you do something to please them or excite them. Being attractive for someone, is almost the same thing - as anything else you do to turn your partner on. However, the way our world is, women only are taught to be attractive. Men do not return the favor. It is like men, expecting a sexual favor from women, while men refuse to please women just as much.

So there should be more pretty boys.... And the way people treat you is really unfair. Though maybe also consider that, people treat girls quite badly, as well. And if you were a gal, you'd likely notice that women tend to behave pretty uncomfortable toward each other. I don't know if that is anything like your experience as a pretty boy. But it could be one thing to consider, if you think of it in terms of being supportive of women.

mikeydcarroll67 16 months ago

For me, I think genetics may have a small part of it, but there is also a big element of taking care of oneself can go a long way with things too. It is also important to have a positive attitude with things too.

David 17 months ago

I love this article I stumbled onto this by accident but I agree with the article and comments of what is being said. I am 24 years old and everybody I have met simply say you are so good looking you must getting a lot of action. Whenever I am walking down the street men and women stop and stare at people. Whenever I am on a train and I happen to sit opposite a woman I could see her lick and lips and playing with her hair.

My most embarrassing moment is when I turned 21 and me and my friend went to a restaurant/bar to celebrate my birthday. While we were eating a group of womens came in and they starting drinking. By the end of the night the girls were pissed. My friends went to get the car and I went to the toilet and when I came down one of the girls so me and told her friends and then they started shouting at the top of their voice "he so cute he so cute" and everybody started to look including all the staff. I was so embarrassed I had to leave the restaurant.

When I turned 22 my beard started to grow now sometimes when I go out I just grew my beard out and wear hat whenever I do not want to be bothered. This enables me to fade into the background.

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Anti-Valentine 17 months ago from My lair Author

Yea, I've experienced that myself -- the bit about guys kissing their girls in front of you. Not too long ago when I was walking along, some guy saw me before his girlfriend did, and he literally pulled her right up close to him. Dirty looks and that sort of thing -- I also get that quite a bit.

michael 17 months ago

I am 35 years old and I am glad. When I was kid roughly about 5 years old girls used to call cute and women used to say he going to be a heart breaker.

As I got older I became more and more good looking. Girls and women use to literally turn around and look at me when I walked down the street. At first it was flattering but after sometime it became annoying. One time I was in MacDonald with my friends I could hear the girls saying wow he so cute. When I turned 18 and I could drink the girls at the bar would bend down so that I could see their cleavage and offer to buy me a drink and the bartenders would not leave me alone.

The worst thing was whenever I got into a train and there was a couple the guy would give me a dirty look before kissing his girlfriend in front of me. I could literally see the excitement in his face as I got up to leave. This happened for a few years and like one guy in the previous post I think he was 18 whenever I walked down the street guys would pretend to smile and burst out laughing so that I would think something is wrong with me.

Now that I am 35 it happens a little bit not as much but sometimes the younger get a little jealous whenever their girlfriend look at me. For instance there were these three kids roughly about 21 (two boys and a girl). The girls turns around and says that man is so cute and the younger boy turns around and says maybe but he old. I tend get that sometimes when a younger girl looks and me the younger guys tend to disrespect me. Even women my age tend to say I won't go for you and when I say why they say ooh you player.

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Quan Duong 18 months ago from NY, Hanoi

stumbled into this hub a while ago, what a fantastic read! Sincere and straightforward, just my cup of tea. I'm a male and I find appreciating pretty guys I see around rather easily, so it is as you say, it really comes down to personal disposition and character to appreciate others. Mind you, I'm not gay (the biggest crushes in my life so far and right now are females). Hang on there guys, you gonna run into 10 jerks along the way but if you keep walking long enough, some kind soul will appreciate you for you.

Simone 21 months ago

Brad Pitt and David Beckham are attractive men, not pretty boys - no one would think they looked anything like a woman. Johnny Depp is a pretty boy, and he isn't aging well. Rob Lowe, pretty boy, not aging well. And you're right, men's features aren't as fine and so they don't have as much to lose, but pretty boys, like beautiful women, have tremendous beauty to lose, so the contrast is greater when they age, and it looks like they age worse.

Muz 22 months ago

Like everyone else here I stumbled across this article as I'm at a loss to why I'm struggling to meet someone. Girls have asked if I'm gay. They say you dress well, look after yourself and are a nice guy so you must be gay. It feels a bit vein to even talk about it and in reality I can't bring myself to say I'm good looking. I'm one of those guys who always looked younger for their age. Everyone would say oh that's great for when your older you will look young. I am 41 now and look early to mid 30's and it has never been great. Girls near my age think I'm young and younger girls aren't mature enough for me. I'm on the shorter side with dark hair and big green eyes with cute pretty boy looks. I'm in pretty decent shape for my age and care about my appearance. I'm probably cliché metro sexual guy. I'll let my beard grow a bit and avoid shaving as too try not to look too pretty and dull myself down. I'm still struggling to meet someone I can connect with and it's getting to the point where I think it is not going to happen. Girls seem to want one night stands or a fling only with me. Occasionaly (rarely) some women are interested in a relationship but no one I have felt any connection with and that is the most important thing for me. Many women think I'm a player or been with heaps of women.. which is far from the truth. I can be fun to be around, quite friendly and can have good conversation. Women sometimes judge me for that...and actually have said after speaking for a short time.. I know your type... your smooth and so on... which is hurtful. To me when I talk to some women you can see them going through there mental check list and think that your too good to be true so something must be wrong etc..I'm not perfect but I'm a fairly decent person whom respects women. I've been told I'm unapproachable by a friend's friend. Really?I'm just a guy looking for love like everyone else. Am I to end up alone because women feel threatened by my pretty looks? It's getting to the stage where I don't even bother looking at a girl I'm attracted to any more because I think what is the point. I don't want to feel that way. It's awful. Pretty guys just want love too. Please don't judge a book by it's cover. Actually have a conversation and see what's inside before judging. Some of us could be what your looking for.

jamal 24 months ago

Kenny, (the guy who commented most recent before me) I can relate to you, I'm 18 and have that light skinned pretty boy look and girls pretty much gasp when I'm out and some get all teary eyed. The females seem to enjoy the sight of me. Guys hate me purely for that, everywhere I go there has to be some fool who tries his best to make me look stupid, whether I am just walking by, looking for something in the store, getting on the bus or train there are always those few idiots that try to laugh or snigger under their breaths pretending as if there is something abnormal about me that is there to be laughed at. Guys constantly try to subliminally and subtly ridicule me when I'm out and about. Pure intense jealousy. Kenny you should be proud of your looks, us guys are lucky to be made this way, effortlessly getting female attention, however irritating it is, just ignore the idiots that are purely envious. Don't give them your time of day at all. They would kill to be in our shoes but since they unfortunately aren't they resort to petty antics like trying to piss off handsome strangers of the same gender.

kennykenny 24 months ago

I like all the stories and experiences that you all have talked about. I'm 6'4" 200 lbs light skinned black guy (the mixed black/white look). I' m 39 years old now (thank god) and I still can't buy a friend among my own race of people. I have to downplay myself all the time at bars/clubs. If I don't, then people just treat me like I have a f*****g disease! Couples at bars usually leave within 15 minutes of me sitting down. Men stare at me constantly as much as women, like they are seeing a ghost.. Girls often times regarded me as beautiful! I used to kinda like but now it makes me unhappy because women 30-39 seem to not like pretty boys out of fear them cheating. I was younger all the hottest girls would throw themselves at me and high school. Visiting my friends high school caused a riot as if I was a celebrity. Older gay men would pull over in their cars and offer me "a ride". I respectfully declined all occasions. I have only had 2 true male friends im my whole life. I am the nicest person and not conceited by any means at all. Sometimes I wish I was regular or average looking so I can fit in. I'm kinda glad my son who is 14 is brown skin and will blend in better than me. I have been in more fights than most people (at least 30-35) street fist fights) and in none of them I was the aggressor. Its like living in a lonely world where people just flat out hate your guts and want to hurt you for looking nice. Being older now, I have learned to deal with it mostly and dont care much at all like I used to. Guys still stare and talk trash about me amongst themselves when they in groups sometimes. It still haunts me even at this age.. perhaps when im like 60 years old or so people will feel more comfortable with me.. I been single for about 7 years now and enjoy it alot. You guys just have to stay strong.. we go through things for a reason

Blucky 2 years ago

I have been confused about this for years, but I think I somewhat understand now why people have treated me this way. I knew that I was a cute kid, small, blonde, big green eyes and some people fauned over me, but other kids picked on me and called me gay and made me feel bad about myself. As a teenager, I was insecure because I was thin and still good looking and some other teenagers treated me different or mean too. When I got out of high school I had a manager who started this shit about me and made my life miserable, and in the military I got called a pretty boy and harassed even though I was the one who did the best on Physical training tests, etc. This hasn't happened much lately as I have gotten older, but it has happened a few times even though I am the average acting guy. I can dance really well though, and that can be perceived as a gay thing, or an area of jealousy as well.

I think maybe it is not only being attractive, but possibly having some physical characteristics that people see as "pretty" and not the more rugged type of handsome. I think if a guy looks masculine with a square jaw, smaller eyes and thicker muscle frame, he is the acceptable type of handsome. He isn't as threatening to women's sense of beauty, or to guys sexual attraction. Also, I am not cocky at all, as I have had a lot of insecurities about my looks over the years. Strange that I have been focusing on the negative when it was the positive things that have been causing the problems.

nasia pink 2 years ago

Seriously,I love pretty boys I think they're hot as hell so yeah I careless what people have to say about me cause that's my perspective.....

Xandro Bidal 2 years ago

Okay, so I’m not a pretty boy, or pretty guy…or whatever. I do love pretty males since I am gay and don’t really care who knows! I just sometimes find it really difficult to swallow that I’m not a pretty, sexy, or physically appealing individual. I just wish that for one day I would know what it was like to be the “hot” thing across the street, or walking the club! I wish I was the type of pretty that makes any outfit look good, and every photo look great. I guess I’m not that photogenic either when you come to think of it, I have this problem with my head and my face!

I guess all I wanted to say is I’m a great-big fan of the pretty boys and pretty men, the beautiful types, even though I might be a light-bit jealous. I love them and I find them gorgeous, and stunningly perfect-beautiful, and I just love to praise them anywhere I see them. You won’t notice, because I’m very unemotional about it, but the appreciation is there.

Also, as for your question as to why gay guys might not like you very much, it has nothing to do with you rather more to do with the fact that you’re beautiful. All the gay guys I’ve come across cannot stand anyone else whom might pose a territorial threat…specially guys! If they know you’re gay and they can bed you, they’ll be fine with you, but if they know you’re straight they have to hate you because they cannot be intimate with you, so therefore you’re competition! Either way, anyone wanting to get in your face, whether male or female, just out-of-the blue, with no provocation whatsoever absolutely means its jealousy.

Either way, to all those beautiful and sexy males out there, please don’t feel you’re hated by EVERYONE…some of us are very much enjoying your presence.

jason 2 years ago

wow,, love this article

jon 2 years ago

Nick's polite message to you in a nutshell is-Its YOUR attitude(that includes "psychology", "language" and "interaction") that needs to change.Implication-Since you look better than other people you will need to be EXTRA cautious about what you say and how you say it.Sounds like prejudice?

Nick 2 years ago

its all to do with attitude. the way you communicate your words through gestures and expression, your posture, the types of things you do have many different layers of meaning.

on one level its socially symbolic, and ofc manly men will ostracize it because its part of how alpha males assert their dominance as a ritual of maintaining status.

on another level, its about language, psychology and interaction. the way you phrase a sentence has subtext and connotations. for instance, your article begins with the word "okay", considering that the author has self-identified as a pretty boy, within context that could be read as condescending, and as an implicit extension of "okay y'all, im about to lay this down for the dumb motherfuckers out there so everyone sit down and stfu because im talking". this is reinforced by how the author, and uses several first person contractions to begin each following sentence "I’m a pretty boy. I always have been. I’ve been called names by people, and it was usually unprovoked. I’ll be minding my own business and I’ll hear some guy say". Four times, this sets the tone that the following text is going to primarily be about the author himself rather than the topic he is talking about. Further, "minding my own business" places blame status upon the other person and victim status upon the author.

These are just a couple of examples, one which is self-expression; who you are as a person, and the other is entirely your choice centering upon your utilization of language; implicitly conveying your attitudes and beliefs. You can be a "prissy boy" and the most popular loved guy, or you can be a "prissy boy" and the one everyone hates. When it comes down to it, superficial qualities mean absolutely nothing, they are quirks. You might get made fun of for like, 5 minutes, but if you deal with it well, don't get offended, exemplify that you are a good sport, love and are secure of yourself, then they will quickly stop, and begin hailing you as a god instead. If you take the bait, then it will only continue to get worse.

jon 2 years ago

people don't hate or judge stars like brad pitt or Beckham cuz they don't exactly seem like 'real life' people to they don't even on the other hand are always going to face the unfair prejudice..their opinions about you will be based on some vague feeling or arrogant 'vibe' or 'aura' that they feel around you..they mistake their insecurity(which they obviously don't want to face) for your ask them 'why?' you won't get a real answer out of them...they will say something like 'u r big headed' 'u r too self obsessed' 'everything is not about you'...but it will be far from logic...people hate natural gifts that other people have...although genius is definitely one of those natural gifts but that most of the people don't have a problem with because it still requires some effort on your part(you can't sit on your hands, do nothing and call yourself a genius)....but looks well that's a problem now isn't it? cuz it begs the question-why him or her? who not me?....ever wonder about those dumb, ugly pictures with people making stupid faces and thinking its cute (i'm being brutally honest here) on social networking sites that get an overwhelming number of likes...well that's just the way world is-admire the flaws and demean the virtues-to create a convenient like they say 'be humble'

Pretty boy club member 2 years ago

Thanks for sharing, I searched "why some people think I'm gay" and found this. I was also called a pretty boy growing up and had lots of anger thrown my way from both guys and girls. Ive had "straight" guys say they would fuck me, had girls accuse me of being gay, and gay guys hating me for no apparent reason.

Another thing I noticed is while others seem to get away with being quiet or keeping to themselves I get accused of being a snob or that I'm gay. Like going to the gym and i'm doing nothing different from the guy next to me, ie working out with headphones on, but a couple of girls watching me and making comments that I'm a snob or I can still hear you!

It has been a big issue in my life, made me really want to avoid people all together and really brought me down, but now I'm 36 and understanding it all makes my life much better. I think you said it perfectly that people want to destroy beautiful things, I always remembered this line in fight club.

The crazy thing is I'm a good guy and get on with most folks so it's not like I'm conceded or anything.

Btw I'm actually 5'6" so don't have the height going for me but I have confidence in who I am. But again the confidence is always challenged when getting random hatred from some stranger who doesn't even now you and for no apparent reason..... Well we know the reason

erorantes profile image

erorantes 2 years ago from Miami Florida

There are a lot of good looking men .Specially when they play sports.I am so lucky to be around pretty boys. They are nice people. They look for the kind people because they are kind too. Because they have both qualities. They have a lot of people around them. I like your hub. It nice to talk about pretty boys. People are always looking for the opposite look from them. Thank you for sharing your article.

krissy 2 years ago

Thanks for this input. Im a pretty girl that only likes pretty boys. One liked me but I was intimidated by our age difference & all the girls surrounding him like a rock star. I was uncomfortable & insecure. Im 15 yrs. Older, but get hit on alot by younger guys. At least 10 younger.I have no friends because women give me dirty looks & men have ulterior motives. This clarifies some stuff about this hot guy. Maybe I can be more empathetic. He seems to be a player though.

blessingface 2 years ago

I agree! I'm not the most beautiful person around and I've never heard or experienced a guy going through or treated the way you have (I'll keep in mind everything you said next time I meet a pretty boy), so its kind of a shock(eye-opening) but I see it A LOT with women. Where I live there are a lot of beautiful women and because of that, a lot of women like to b**ch about them even though they don't know them in a very judgemental, and you can say prejudiced way. Its either they're stuck up, slutty, air-headed, b**ch etc. The list goes on. I also notice these beautiful women (the extremely beautiful women) end up with ugly or average guys. Although that's not always true most of the time it is. Probably because they went out with so many pretty, handsome guys/boys that they've gotten over that superficial attraction and they want more. It may as well be what you said that they feel threatened with their good looking boyfriends because that's how women are.

A factor you skipped though is that a lot of pretty boys are pretty boring (or just boring as hell!) (lame sense of humour, unable to have truly interesting or intellectual conversation) (That's from personal experience and what I've read online) which makes sense.

If a person has been very good looking they're whole life and never has trouble getting friends, guys/girls for it, why would their personality be interesting since people are always taking interest in them?

People who are average compensate for their average or ugliness with personality so they come out just as attractive but good looking people don't have to compensate for their attraction. For example, have you ever watched Brad Pitt in an interview? He is SOOO BORING.(He's a great looking guy, but it takes more than that to hold my attention.)

I know there are many exceptions, such as you and the people who commented here but the opposite usually is true (Hate to break it like that). Especially where I live. Hopefully I'll meet a good looking guy who isn't so boring and wants to be in a committed relationship because personally I'm not threatened with other girls, beautiful or not, around my potential boyfriend because He'll love me for who I am just as much as I'll love him for who he is, (The good looks are just a bonus) Its the insecure people who hate and wish to destroy good looking people like you,(I see that everyday)like they are aliens from outer space with powers non can resist. Although it hurts, when this happens,to the least you know then and there their insecurity instead of later.

Chuckfitzgerald 3 years ago

When I was young and oh so shy I got hit on by men. I was so naïve that I didn't realize what was happening. I actually had strangers buy me a drink. Once when I was out with friends a guy my age who was someone else's friend talked me into going to another club. When there he bought me a beer and told me that he was gay. I didn't know what he was talking about. In the Army black guys always wanted to talk to me. I was unaware of what was going on. I don't and never thought of my self as pretty but only average looking even to this day. When I got married it continued and sometimes by women I worked with. Men touch me on the shoulder or get too close to me. This all seemed very creepy to me. I'm not gay and don't act gay.

LooksCanBeACurse 3 years ago

Just come across this article, even though it was written some time ago.

However, the message still runs true and I think has always run true for years. For as long as I can remember, I have experienced this sort of negativity off people especially woman. I myself am female and realise I too was blessed with unusually, natural beauty and a very good physic. The amount of women haters and abuse I have suffered throughout my life, people judging me by my looks when in reality I am a quite, kind person.

The sad thing is, my son who is now 14(nearly 15)too has been blessed or cursed more accurately- with soft, beautiful face. His hair is to his waist. Thick and shiny. He is tall and slender. He likes girls a lot but is too shy ask a girl out. He suffered bullying and boys hate him for no reason when in fact he is the kindest, polite, wonderfully funny lad anyone could wish to meet but no one wants talk to him and it breaks my heart.

He is so beautiful, people stare at him on street but at school no one wants to get close it upsets me that history repeating itself. Girls think he's too pretty and his hairs better than theirs and boys hate him because of his looks. I wish this didn't happen but it does. You see, when everyone around you all look the same then you get someone who has more, people can't handle that. People can not handle something or someone that stands out way above because they look untouchable like a perfect painting.

James 3 years ago

Excellent article and points my friend. I'm a member of the pretty boys anonymous as well. I have had the same experiences, negative and positive in my life. Judging by your understanding you seem perhaps older than me. I'm 30, how old are you?

Jason Raghubir II profile image

Jason Raghubir II 3 years ago from Miller Place, New York

For the longest time, I have been trying to find someone to explain the ludicrous and absurd life that I live. This blog helped me a bit to understand the retarted shit I go through on a daily basis. But then again, you'd be surprised that what you have went through (and still going through), I have it 100 times worse!!!!!!!!!!! I'm also a male model but not well built. I'm a combination of those 80's hair bands meets john stamos from full house. After 23 years of living, I truly believe God either hates me or that I am cursed with fucked up shit. I do have a gf (after 17 years of chasing them!) But I still am not happy. For the longest time, I can remember always going out, whether I was single or not, and people either looking at me funny and hearing someone call me fag or heshe. My gf tells me I am crazy and wants me to go seek help. Yeah right. The shit that bothers me is that I know I am a very rare.....RARE. and exotcic beautiful looking man. Look at my pics if you want proof. But holy shit, almost everybody disagrees with me. People, young and ond seem to both dislike and again, all I do is mind my own business. I've been rejected by chicks since age 5, couldn't have close friends with guys and I barely get modeling and acting gis because the market is either ugly fucks or clean cuty ambercrombie & bitch. I used to look in the mirro and flaunt as if I am the cat's meow. Now I look at myself and think, ''what in God's fucking name is this???' People do not appreciate a beautiful man....I always believe that girls and women would want me and guys would think that I'm cool to hang with. Never happened...........I am slowly self destructing

lionsfan 4 years ago

Holy $hit!! I've never thought of my self as 'pretty', but i have been told. All the hate the author was outlining is soo true...i was finishing some of his sentences before id finish reading them! Amazing! I don't feel so alone or bad about myself anymore now that i know others were thinking the same thoughts. much love bro, and THANK YOU!!

zblix 4 years ago

Thank you for clearing things up for me. I'm a tall well built long haired f***ing pretty boy, or so i keep hearing.

I didn't start off like that, puberty was hell for me. I was over weight with bad hair & worse skin, I didn't thin out until I was 23. I still feel like a fat kid until I catch my reflection.

I've only been in one relationship & that was when I was chubby, now It's just one night stands or a fling.

The thing is I am now 35 but people who meet me for the 1st time assume I must be 25/26, I smile & say my real age, they stare at me like I'm an alien? Women assume I'm gay, yet gay men assume I'm homophobic?

I have to be wary when walking through certain parts of the city I live in because I've been verbally threatened (by chavs /Jeremy Kyle viewers) & had empty beer bottles thrown my way. I've been attacked in clubs & male bouncers & bar-staff seem to hate me & even most of my male relatives cant stand being around me. My boss never invites me to his house any more because his (horny) teenage daughters get all giggly & excited & initiate awkward conversations such as "which one of us looks better with (insert generic female clothing/accessory) on?", & most women I pass on the street have that 'pinched' look on their faces or just glare at me if I smile!?!

Yet I know some very 'average' to even 'ugly' guys who are very arrogant but are treated way better then me by almost everyone. The only time I get compliments are when women are drunk, but then the next time I see them their sober & hate me! The older I get the less I'm invited places.

I've also noticed if I'm with someone & we have to ask directions or speak to some one the 'stranger' will ignore me & converse with my friend/colleague, I've also noticed a few glares & looks of contempt hidden as 'micro expressions' shot my way when I have to interact with strangers.

Being a human who grew up being called 'fat face', 'bum cheeks' or a myriad of other (worse) insults, to being hated for not being unattractive is an eye opener. I will even dress down when I don't have to look smart, just so I can fade into the background but then people just act like they are better then me because their trainers cost more.

The only time I feel normal is when I travel to Europe, almost every body there likes tall attractive men. Even here in the UK most foreigners I meet will say " You are the nicest English person I have met, or here is my email contact me if you are ever in (insert European city)".

I feel like an Elf surrounded by Hobbits & Dwarfs, Hobbits & Dwarfs with attitude.

I cant wait to emigrate.

dj 4 years ago

Excellent article........Spot on! Especially the segment about women......whether women want to admit it or not:

1. they like all of the attention to be on them

2. they dont like competition from other pretty how in the hell would they tolerate competition from their own good looking man?

3. They constantly contradict themselves in what they "say" vs what they "do"

Any woman that wants to try and say the writer is full of himself...or feels this article is bogus is simply "telling on herself"

U see it all the time....beautiful women with physically unattractive men, and its not even about $$$$ or status, most of the time, the woman simply feels more comfortable with a lesser looking man. She doesn't have to worry about other women wanting her man, but here's where women really do themselves in: Women are very mindful of other attractive women and what they it a nice purse, watch, a killer pair of fact U ladies know this to be true when a a beautiful woman walks in a room....the other good looking women, and the lesser looking women immediately bring out the "cats claws" they look at her clothing, her makeup they cut and roll their their eyes at her.....why??? because she's attractive looking, and they KNOW IT!

At the same time, they also envy her for having those nice shoes, blouse, purse and even that ugly unattractive man on her arms. In fact this is where women and their logic backfires, they think an ugly boyfriend/hubby wont draw any attention from other women, ladies the best "PR" U could ever give an ugly unattractive man is to be seen out in public with him, it shoots his stock thru the roof like Apple, or Microsoft/Google! LOL When other good-looking women see another good looking woman with a short, fat, physically unattractive man they mentally, subconsciously begin to think: "hmmmmmm, there's something special about that guy.....that gorgeous woman is with him...what is it about him?" and then they become attracted to him and literally make it easy for him. I've seen the shit happen a million times, any ugly guy doesn't believe me??? just be seen out and about around town with a good looking woman a few nights and watch what happens when U are out single.....women are competitive like men could never be! The author of this article knows this...and I know it! In fact if U are a good looking man....U have to be overly nice, and respectful and even at times U have to "dull" down your appearance and even your confidence because women will automatically assume U are arrogant, cocky, conceited the way "unbroken1" responded to the author for simply writing this article. Yet, if U are an unattractive man...U can get away with being sarcastic, funny etc women dont even feel threatened or offended. Here's an example imagine Brad Pitt, George Clooney or some male model walking up to a woman and jokingly tells her "U know U want me...I'm hot" the woman's immediate reaction is to get offended and to start to think "this guy's an asshole and he's full of himself" on the other hand....take a little short squatty looking unattractive man that looks like "George" from Seinfeld...he can tell walk up to a woman and say the the same thing, and that woman will find him not arrogant, but amusing, intriguing, funny, even sexy .....a woman will give that man a pass and say he's funny and confident....whereas the other attractive looking model...she will label him as being arrogant. Two different men saying the exact same thing its just that one man is physically appealing and the other isn't.

Women are really screwed up and alot of it s simple insecurity and low self esteem....but as a man if U know the rules and how to play the U can get what U want.

I too am a tall, muscular very handsome & good looking man who is confident....however when a woman compliments me on my appearance I always down play it and tell her that she must be blind and or she's just being nice to me doing this it shows her that even though I am 6ft tall 230 lbs with washboard abs looking like a superhero...that I am "vulnerable" and she wants to show me how attractive looking I am. My ex of 2.5 years still to this day cant believe that I stopped her and approached her, she never felt that she was "good looking enough" for me...even though I know what I like and she was very attractive, the problem is "in her mind I was more attractive looking than her and she felt as if I was doing her the favor" I know crazy right?? She used to tell me how she felt so "honored" to be out in public with me... it's terrible but its the way of the world.......people like to destroy things they feel are too beautiful and again all it is is a lack of self confidence. If U are a person who is physically blessed....the curse is U have to downplay yourself to make others feel comfortable around U about themselves! pretty.

And this isn't a problem with just women only......even men have issues with good looking men, an associate of mine...a real successful Doctor makes in excess of $400K annually, can have anything that $$$ can buy and he always tries to crack jokes at my expense especially in front of beautiful women....he tells them Im a pretty boy, or that I am gay etc, and that all I do is workout, etc. this guys has the world at his hands and yet he's so insecure about his own physical appearance. Again U have to downplay your appearance, when the boys tell U look like U've slimmed down....tell them nawww I still got a long ways to go, this is the cost for being fortunate to have a couple of good looking parents

NarwhalNecropsy 5 years ago

Well, that dramatically lowers my playing field...

Matt 5 years ago

I'm a male model. Girls usually rate me as a 10, yet, when the night is over, it's the guys who are clearly less attractive and less muscular that get the girls. I thought every girl wanted a man with a defined jaw line, shaved face, ripped abs and big arms. Clearly, I was mistaken. Clearly, women don't know what they want. Outer beauty is more of a curse than I ever imagined it would be.

unBroken1 profile image

unBroken1 6 years ago from Florida are quite pleased with ourself, eh? lol

Never thougth I meet anyone as vain as myself.

Pretty boys are to much competition, give me an ugly sexy man and I'm happy.

triosol profile image

triosol 6 years ago

very interesting hub. Good article. Voted up.

equealla profile image

equealla 6 years ago from Pretoria, South Africa

Many moons ago I worked with a colleague whom was married to the most attractive man, perfect in every way. I got to know them quite well, and do recognise some of the things you mention, that I observed with him.

He was ever so fortunate to have had a very mature and beautiful relationship with his wife.

Beautiful people, they say, are normally very lonely people. Most of them do not find a partner like my friends above. I hope this article will help people to understand that, in the end, we must look deeper than what meets the eye, be it the beauty or the beast.

By the way, my man just loves it when I put mask on his face, give him a footspa, file his nails, and give him salon treatment. Pampering is not exclusive for the girls only. It is relaxing, and it makes you feel refreshed, cared for and uplifts the spirit. Even if you do it yourself. Even my pets loves this kind of treatment. It has nothing to do with the lifestyle you lead. I promise you, my cat loves to groom all day, and that does nothing to his sexual preference, lol!

Good article, I loved the read!

Anti-Valentine profile image

Anti-Valentine 6 years ago from My lair Author

Yes, metrosexuality was a buzz word used years ago but still crops up from time to time, and describes the "modern man".

Personally I cut and file my own nails (I don't get them done somewhere else - but my brother does!), and I don't do facials or masks or anything. I think, why not. I want to look civilized and tidy if I go out.

I do have long hair though, and no worries - I do wash it and take good care of it mostly.

You're right though about beauty. That someone who is "cute" to someone might not appeal to someone else. I find this to be true with women - but the men, and I mean most men, don't like the attractive guys, and it's likely due to one of the reasons I outlined above from personal experience.

Thanks for reading and commenting, love my yorkies.

love my yorkies profile image

love my yorkies 6 years ago from way out west

Well now, I've read your hub and found it very interesting. You've clarified several things for me about "pretty boys", but not in a bad way. It just never occurred to me that a man would want to take care of his looks like women do (i.e., facials, manicures & such). And sadly I admit, that I've always assumed a man who did these things had to be gay, I stand corrected. I think that I pretty much agree with everything you've talked about on men & even us women. The three S's plus good looks, would probably be everyone's dream, men and women both. But I feel that in the long run and real life, the three S's are your best bet in finding a mate. Plus, you can't forget the fact that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Now, as far as my looks, I would not be considered "beautiful", cute, pretty, or nice looking maybe, some might even call me average. But, everyone sees something different when they look at you. Oh, and as far as a man having long hair, I don't have a problem with it at all, as long as it is clean and well kept. But that goes for men or women in my opinion. Well, got to go now. Things to do, people to see and places to go. :)

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