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OKCupid Tips - What NOT to Say in a First Online Dating Message

Don't shoot that first arrow straight into the ground.

Don't shoot that first arrow straight into the ground.

When it comes on online dating, I'm rooting for the dudes. I would prefer to see them do well than do poorly... and yet so many stick their feet in their mouths with their first message to a promising target.

I would not have thought this to be the case- one of the benefits of online dating is that guys have the time, anonymity, and resources to be suave... or at least to test out various tactics to discover (and use) only the most effective ones. But after making my own happy little profile on OKCupid and watching the messages slide in, I have to say... I'm somewhat dismayed.

Guys, you deserve some action. Really, you do. So let's go over what NOT to say when reaching out to all those lovely ladies. I'll provide real examples, of course (with proper protections of anonymity applied). Even if you know better than to make these mistakes, you might find them funny.

.... but first, full disclosure time! I am not here to offer relationship advice. I do not date, nor did I join OKCupid looking to date.

I make it very clear on my OKCupid profile that I'm only on the site to check out the UI, which is fantastic, by the by. So folks who message me may not be the brightest OKCupids bouncing about.... but I still reckon these are common mistakes.

Leave out the LAAAAAME comments.

Leave out the LAAAAAME comments.

Lame Comments About Images / Appearance

Men, I think, have been conditioned to believe that they can never go wrong when complimenting a woman. This is not always the case, but I'll go out on a limb and say that offline, such compliments in the pursuit of boy-girl relations are a safe way to go.

Online, things are different. It's pretty much a given that nobody is going to contact you unless they're cool with the image(s) you uploaded. So compliments on images are pretty much pointless. They might also come across as a bit creepy. But maybe that's just me.

Some examples:

Hi there. i like ur pics, it looks like u have a lot of fun

As most photos people upload are of people looking like they have a lot of fun, this could easily be a generic message (more on those in a bit, but in short, generic messages are not the way to go).

Hi, You look great! How's it going?

Another very generic message. If you'd like to compliment another user on her appearance, I recommend explaining why. Before it was flagged and moderated, for example, my OKCupid profile image had me in a full body goose suit. Perhaps this bachelor could have explained why I looked great in my giant goose costume.

Form Messages

I understand that it takes time and effort to send lots of messages to lots of people on OKCupid, which would be my approach if I were looking for action. It helps to cast a wide net, right?

That said, sending form messages is not the way to go. We live in an age of spam and unwanted form emails. We can spot them a mile away.

Here's an example:

I'm *****. 25, 6'5", brown hair, green eyes, fit. live in the ******** in sf. I'm vegan, like to meditate, go to a lot of shows, read a lot. I like surrealist art, I make films, currently editing my psychedelic ********** feature. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? You're cute and seem cool. We should chill. What's your week usually like? Can I txt you?

****** here is a catch, to be sure, but his message could be sent out to anyone and still work, hence the inner "FORM MESSAGE" warning in any internet savvy gal is going to go off when she reads this. Another mistake here: describing stuff that is already in his profile.

A better approach? Find something in each user's profile that you could comment about, and make the first message about that. "I see you're a vegan, too. What made you decide to give up meat?" is a really easy one Shane here could use, for example. Or "I see you loved [insert book/movie/band/show here]. Have you seen/read/listened to/watched [insert similar book/movie/band/show]?"

Well, they sure are hotter than me!

Well, they sure are hotter than me!

Gender Issues

Ok, so maybe guys on online dating sites have had issues in the past with girls who are not girls saying they're girls. And I can see how that would be somewhat traumatic. And how easy it would be to mislead people. So sure, some guys on OKCupid are a bit shell shocked, which may explain some of my more favorite messages received:

Hi are we a T girl?


OOOOOOO your a guy sorry man I didn't read into that too well my bad

In all fairness, I may have said something on my profile to the extent of "So far as you should be concerned, I'm a dude." Just maybe. But for the sake of thoroughness, I would like to recommend that OKCupid users not broach this subject until later in conversations. Not just because it prevents them from initially coming across as paranoid/hilarious, but also because, in all fairness, most transexual women look WAY better than, I would argue, most of the ladies out there. Myself, definitely, included.

Leave textey-english for texting, kids.

Leave textey-english for texting, kids.

Text Speak & Poor Grammar

It should go without saying that proper English has a leg up, at least in initial conversations. Anyone can write poorly or in shorthand, so it is far more impressive to use proper grammar to start with.

Why folks opt to use poor grammar in a first message escapes me- especially when real English rolls out in subsequent messages! Perhaps the English language really is devolving, and not even into lolspeak. Sigh.

While text speak and slang may be a bit of a turnoff, poor grammar is a total death sentence. Consider this example:

First that all great pictures. About Me. I'm 29 years old, nice man, I had been living in San Francisco since 2002. I love to enjoy what this nice city offert us, as a restaurants, bars, clubs, parks, beaches, I'm giants and lakers fun. I also like to do exercises as a run, play soccer in a legue every Sunday. And sometimes basketball. I also like to watch sports . Of course i have my job that i love it, and also i go to school. Tell me more about you.

Note the odd capitalizations and lack thereof, errant spaces, and improper word usages. Alas, though this is a friendly enough message, its well-meaning sender has made himself look to careless to merit a response.

This... looks pretty darn cool.  Your spammy OKCupid message does not.

This... looks pretty darn cool. Your spammy OKCupid message does not.

Messages That Look Like Spam

Some examples:

Hi ,
May I know your name please?
I like your profile and would like to know more about you.
I am in ******* for doing my Summer Internship. Basically I am from ******.
Would you like to talk to me as a friend?
You can shoot your questions too.

You might look at this and think that, slight grammar mistakes aside, this is a perfectly fine message. It would be, but for the "Hi ," which (and this could be just me) is the first thing I notice in a vast majority of spam messages.

Starting any message with "Hi ," or "Hi, Dear" or any sort of sentence that leaves a space before a comma or that first punctuation mark is a dead giveaway that you're using a generic message. Even if your email is great, that initial beginning might be enough to sour the potential affections of your mark, as the subconscious thoughts of spam messages that that opening line left may leave an unpleasant feeling in her mind.

Some other small pieces of constructive criticism:

  • Summer Internships do not require capitalization - I only capitalize positions in formal writing or when I'm trying to impart an ironic tone of self importance
  • "You can shoot your questions too" makes no sense; perhaps this sentence would make more sense with an "over" or, better yet, it could be preceded by "I hope you shoot yourself." which would certainly intrigue some readers and encourage a response.

Invitations to "Check out my profile"

Girls, I am told (I wouldn't know), are not super big on guys who are only interested in themselves. Unless they are famous/incredibly rich/super gorgeous. In the online dating realm, it's a safer bet to avoid anything that might hint at self-importance before proving one of the above factors. Even borderline cases are not worth the risk:

Hello. Your profile is full of personal'ty. Message me ba'k after reading my profile. :)

In the example above, the OKCupid user does make a friendly acknowledgement of the person he is messaging... but it is generic at best. Giving another user homework (read my profile) is not a good way to start things off.

It might be better to allude to having things in common or to offer a compliment of the target's taste in books, movies, or music. Such might encourage her to visit your profile out of a curious desire to see what movies/books/music you like.

If you're going to be short, be awesome.

If you're going to be short, be awesome.

Pointless Salutations

OKCupid enables users to smile, wink, favorite, and visibly stalk each other, so if you don't feel like writing a complete message, don't write one at all. Sending over messages like:

silly Sally!


Hey, I'm ******** :)




Ya the government sucks!

Is not enough. I, for example, already know that I'm a silly Sally, I can see your username already, I would have probably messaged or stalked a user if I were interested, and I don't know quite how to respond to such brief commentary.

As my high school AP art teacher used to say dismissively when we presented her with our various anguish-ridden works of art: "Embellish!"

I suggest you do the same.

Good Hunting!

I hope you have found these real-world demonstrations to be helpful in your online dating exploits. Online dating is awesome, and I imagine that there are lots of perfectly nice folks out there who, unlike myself, are looking for exactly the same thing as you.

So good hunting, and may the odds ever be in your favor.

Have advice of your own? Share it below!

ARK on February 21, 2020:

The poor grammar examples looks like it is from someone who speaks English as a second language. Poor guy :(

zidi on November 13, 2019:


gepeTooRs on April 14, 2016:

Much more of this please

gepeTooRs on February 18, 2016:

Thanks for every other fantastic article. Where else may just

Anish Kumar from Mundi Kharar, Mohali, Chandigarh, (Punjab) on August 16, 2014:

Your hub is superb Simone.I like your way of representing your point of view through images.Very nice

Sagi on June 14, 2014:

Wow, the are so many things wrong with that article, there some good things too.

But what it should be about is being confidant in giving her a tease, or a ball buster.

Harry Baldwin from New England (various locations) on May 13, 2014:

We met get lots of messages too from supposed beautiful young things, who are usually in Russia (and probably played by middle aged fat men) who in the end need money for a visa, etc.!

UndercoverAgent19 on January 27, 2014:

I have, unfortunately, been off and on OKCupid for about 4 years now. Although I have met some decent people, the successes are marginal in comparison with the losers who have contacted me, putting only the tiniest bit of effort into their message. You aptly described the worst ways to go about messaging someone on OKCupid. My biggest pet peeve is the first on the list, the lame comments on one's appearance. Thanks for sharing this hub!

Dorian Modra on November 24, 2013:

I agree that the initial email shouldn't be OBVIOUSLY generic, but my own research http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-online-d... proves generic emails are the way to go hands down!

Dorian Modra on November 24, 2013:

I agree that the initial email shouldn't be OBVIOUSLY generic, but my own research (http://forpoorer.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-online-d... proves generic emails are the way to go hands down!

Michelle Dee from Charlotte, NC on April 05, 2013:

When reading the examples in the "bad grammar" and "spam" sections, it felt like it may have been someone in Nigeria who eventually would try to get a credit card number from you.

WREMSOWEX on March 07, 2013:

When i helpful to get at the top of living nevertheless lately We've built up a new amount of resistance.

psychopath on February 22, 2013:

I completely agree. People have developed this social thing that is entirely based on the bulls**t in tv and movies to the point we cannot connect on a normal level. did you know that over 80% of all men and women out there are trying to just figure out where the good men and women ARE? where to find them? HMMM....?

Radu on December 20, 2012:

I believe, this post is the reason why people are single as

It seems like everybody is expecting people to act in a certain way. Like a recipe, or like acting. I guess, the US people have been educated by TV movies, where all is acting. People, WAKE UP. Really. Please. BE Yourself. Be it for once. Both when sending a message and when receiving one. I want to be told, he should say something like, I should tell about, I should be acting like, and so, and so, and so. You are totally wrong. THAT is why you are single. You are not yourself. You don't believe in yourself. Who else do you want to be if not yourself? Speak the most natural way of yours possible and don't worry about the smallest thing. You will learn how to communicate in a proper way with the opposite sex in time. I have received messages like Hi, how are you. What an amazing lady she was. Or funny messages like Do you think bla bla. Again a great person. When you are honest you cannot go wrong, unless you are talking to the wrong person.

And get off internet dating for a while and start looking for people on the streets. Yes, I know it's a tabu in the american culture, but that's where people are the more natural and where you can actually SEE someone you know it's likable. Why not make a step and ask a stupid question like do you know what time is it with a glaze (for the ladies). You might tumble over a guy who is prepared for such encounter.

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on November 13, 2012:

Good point, Chase!

Chase on November 12, 2012:

Good read. But I think one thing this article left out was elaborating on the length of the messages. Coming from a couple months of experience now, I used to write super long messages telling girls my life story, and I'd get maybe one response in 100. Since then I've shortened my messages to maybe one or two lines and have gotten much more responses (This article helped me out: http://www.daveglenn.com/2011/03/dave-glenns-guide... I think what we need to remember is that these dating sites are NOT like interviewing for a job where you need to sell yourself, but rather showing that we are comfortable with who we are and being personable.

Lindawon from NY on October 23, 2012:

Great!!I recently found a great dating website for us seniors, BoomerMeet_com. you can browse thousands of profiles with verified photos. A serious place to find your love, romance and more. worth trying.

Priscilla from El Paso on May 30, 2012:


Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on May 29, 2012:

Oh, have fun Dancilla! It's a great site.

Priscilla from El Paso on May 28, 2012:

I just happened to get on OkCupid, so this hub became helpful for me. Good hub.

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on May 23, 2012:

Good idea, Will! I should probably create another article filled with examples of good messages to send.

will on May 19, 2012:

How about giving an example of a message that is good not just bad ones.

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on February 23, 2012:

Thanks for stopping by, LotusFlowerBomb :D

LotusFlowerBomb from Conneticut on February 17, 2012:

Absolutely the absolute informative hub yet,,thanks

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on February 15, 2012:

Hehee, maybe it's better that guys DON'T read this so that we can continue to get those hilarious emails, huh Amy? That cut-and-paste fiasco message sounds particularly hilarious. Hurrah for online dating lulz!

Amy on February 14, 2012:

I found this in an attempt to find out where the wink disappeared off to. I loved it! If only guys actually would read this...I've gotten some incredibly hilarious emails on that site.

The most recent long one was epic. It was a horrible cut/paste job (lots of sections were copied, but not in the same order...it was bizarre) that also showed the guy didn't even look at my profile or pictures. I copied it to Facebook...a friend read it allowed to a room full of people who were in stitches laughing.

And then there was the really long poem from a would-be politician (he talked about his plans for running for various high-level positions after the poem).

And the one I received tonight...offering, if I didn't have any plans, to take me out. It was sent at 5:52 pm.

It's a treasure trove of hilarious stuff! And some good guys, but a treasure trove of amusement.

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on December 15, 2011:

Hahaa, it would be fun as a social experiment!

That said, by sticking around on OKC and sifting through the junk, I've actually met some of my best new friends!! There is definitely something to be said for sticking around- just something to consider!

StellaSee from California on December 14, 2011:

I have friends who had some success with online dating so I thought I'd give it a shot, and I got an OKCupid account. I tried it for about a month and I got rid of it, b/c of the reasons you list here. I got sick of receiving messages about how 'nice luscious lips' I have or people regurgitating info they wrote on their profile or just saying 'hi how are you' without really starting a conversation. But as a social experiment thing..that might be interesting. Like Gordon Hamilton said, maybe I should impersonate a guy or get a friend to write her info on the profile page but with my picture on it ;D

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on December 09, 2011:

desack, you make a good point about pictures, but those matter regardless of gender.

Good point about the original, short messages- though I would advise against sending the same message out to a large number of people. Personalized messages do best.

And wow... I disagree about the jerk thing. Though to each his own. At any rate, thanks for the comment and feedback! It's nice to hear some differing opinions.

desack on November 29, 2011:

This is a good article, but for men it can be shortened to make the advice more relevant.

First, the only thing most women care about are your pictures, so use good ones. It is probably better to use old pictures that are good than new pictures that are bad.

Second, the Okcupid article on their data claims that a longer message gets more replies, but not enough to make it worthwhile typing long messages. Had they run their data as a hypothesis test, or a confidence interval test it looks like message length would be irrelevant. So what does that mean? It means create original, but short messages that take almost no time. Send these messages to a huge number of people.

Third, sadly just like meeting people in person, most women want a man that is kind of a jerk. Do this in your message. It is better not to even act like you give a shit about them or their interests. This is what they want in life, and it will work on the internet too.

As long as you aren't sending incoherent messages that are barely passable as English the rest is pretty irrelevant really.

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on November 07, 2011:

Isn't it hilarious, KitsJay?? Here's hoping folks figure it out and mend their ways :D

KitsJay from Houston on November 07, 2011:

I laughed reading this because it's all so true. I have seen so many of these on my own journeys into OKC. It's amazing how many awful messages I received even after I specified in my profile that I can't stand text speak!

Thanks for educating some people out there, from the people who send the messages and the ones who receive them!

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on August 25, 2011:

I agree entirely, selfdefenselesson! Well said.

selfdefenselesson on August 23, 2011:

Lol. I love OKC I've gotten some decent success over there. The place it not to be taken serious though. Never write and essay about yourself.

Make it fun. Who cares really...

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on August 22, 2011:

FOZDIGUAZU, I cannot thank you enough for that comment.

FOZDIGUAZU on August 20, 2011:






Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on July 28, 2011:

Awesome comment, Cynical Optimist. I could not agree more.

Behind the overt idiocy on OKC, there's a LOT to play with, and I love it! I did indeed first come to the site for the UI, which is super fun and inspiring, but from a people watching standpoint, it is really superb.

I don't use the site for dating because I don't date, but that doesn't mean that I don't adore it! This article was created, however, with a more targeted goal in mind, since most folks Googling for articles on OKCupid are looking for tips and advice, not conjecture on the various social intricacies of the actual community.

I would be fascinated to read your thoughts on the subject, however, so please do let me know if and when you publish that Hub!

Cynical Optimist from Lawrence, KS on July 27, 2011:

You're assuming that people this article is targeted at actually know how to read, or actually like reading. I disagree.

The overt idiocy on OKC is really easy to see though, but the more interesting aspect of OKCupid is found reading between the lines, not at them. The rampant ageism, classism, xenophobia, and obsession with trivial aspects such as height, weight, and "education" are highly interesting. That could be an entire article in itself, which I may write later.

I was also disappointed that you found it not worth your time to actually fully engross yourself in the OKCupid experience. Why is this? Are you already dating someone else? You wanted to check out the UI? Are you a programmer or graphic designer?

Good basic article overall. Just wanted more in-depth coverage, though I understand that you artificially limited yourself, for no apparent reason, unless it's top secret. Barbara Ehreneich would have scolded you.

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on June 22, 2011:

@Nell Rose - THE HORROR! O_O

@livelonger - Yeah, their blog is DA BOMB. I find it fascinating vicariously, too, though I guess I'm technically experiencing this in the first person.

@Paul Edmondson - BAHAHAA!! And I think I'll only go out with the ones that I think are axe murderers. That way we can battle to the death. Now THAT is a date I think I could stomach.

Paul Edmondson from Burlingame, CA on June 22, 2011:

I'd love to see the message that gets you beyond exploring a dating sites UI and out on a date. Perhaps checking out the UI is a euphemism I'm not familiar with. Missed the online dating era...hope to keep it that way...wifes looking over my shoulder...

Jason Menayan from San Francisco on June 22, 2011:

I am a BIG fan of their blog; thank you for sharing these informative and incredibly entertaining insights on the service itself. Although not in the dating pool myself anymore, it's fascinating vicariously. :)

Nell Rose from England on June 22, 2011:

Hi, really funny, I have had a few friends in the past who have done this sort of dating, and I have been there, at the beginning, hiding behind the door!, being nosy as they came to the gate. Never ever will I use a site or even a newspaper ad to meet someone! lol I have seen the beasts, and they darkened my nightmares! quick example, friend told me to wait while he turned up, I looked out the window, and there shining like a beacon in the sky, was a shiny round bald head, with a bit of hair stuck to the sides, peering over the top of his steering wheel. When he got out, he had Mr. Magoo glasses, a collar turned up like something out of grease the film, and rupert the bear trousers, or pants as they are called across the pond! never ever....! lol

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on June 22, 2011:

12 years! Way to go! Yeah, I don't imagine having a go at dating is easy. I hope my silly advice might be helpful... or at least humorous :D

Phil Plasma from Montreal, Quebec on June 22, 2011:

Married now for twelve years I'm long past any kind of dating scene, but reading this reminds me of how lucky I am to not be in the position to likely make at least some of the mistakes you posted here. Good tips earning you a vote up.

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on June 21, 2011:

@Gordon Hamilton- That's hilarious. I should make profiles for any guy friends I have who need relationship help. I could make them into online Casanovas. SO hilarious. And yeah, I think online dating just exists for those who do not have access to nautical fishing materials.

@QudsiaP - omg indeed. omg.

QudsiaP1 on June 21, 2011:

Hahahaha omg.

Gordon Hamilton from Wishaw, Lanarkshire, United Kingdom on June 20, 2011:

I love this, Simone. It is a fabulous, (tongue in cheek? ;) ) look at the world of online dating. Every time I read anything like this it reminds me of a guy I knew in London, an independent freelance writer, who decided to do research in to the online dating world. He joined a site (I have no idea which one) as a female, for "research purposes." Incredibly, however, he actually used a photograph of his own sister, totally unbeknown to her, as his profile photo. She actually got stopped by a suitor in a supermarket. Absolutely true story!! :)

Definitely an interesting world to explore. Think I'll stick to fishing these days, in my old age... :)

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on June 20, 2011:

HAHAHAAAAA!!! Dang it! That was a real nugget you had there!

Hm- the only sorta funny ice breaker I've heard so far is:

"How much does a polar bear weigh?"


"Enough to break the ice! Hi! I'm Simone!"

Cheesy? Yes. But such is the cultural heritage of ice breakers.

Garrett Mickley from Jupiter, Florida on June 20, 2011:

I used to always start off with:

"If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"

But since that Britney Spears song I have to find a new Ice-Breaker.

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on June 20, 2011:

Thanks for reading, J.S.Matthew! And yeah, dating site horror stories are my favorite- and the experience your relative had is pretty horrific! At least it makes for a good tale.

LOL LiamBean- nice one! Hahaa, yeah, not looking forward to that, but it's certainly worth all the other funny misadventures. Thank goodness for flagging, no? :D

I'm right there with you, Peter Dickinson. But I sure do love online dating sites.

Excellent points, www.lookseenow. One must be careful! But I also argue in favor of having fun and amusing oneself while minimizing collateral damage ;)

So true, drbj. Poor Weiner. It happens to the best of us.

I'm pretty removed from the dating scene too, JSParker, but am glad to introduce more folks to one bastion in the realm of online dating! AP stands for Advanced Placement, an echelon of higher-work-load high school classes. I have many fond memories of the AP classes I enjoyed back in the day.

Thank you for voting the Hub up, alocsin! Is there anything so divine in life as precariousness? :D

Aurelio Locsin from Orange County, CA on June 18, 2011:

Good tips for the precarious world of online dating. Voting this Up and Useful.

JSParker from Detroit, Michigan on June 18, 2011:

I'm so far removed from the dating scene, it took me awhile to figure out that "OKCupid" was an online dating site! Also, I read your hub to kind of "stay with it" since I also have never text! (Or do you say "texted"?) Finally, could you tell me what the "AP" in "AP art teacher" means? I guess I don't have to tell you I read your pub to learn something from an expert hubber. Thank you.

drbj and sherry from south Florida on June 18, 2011:

I dunno, Simone. Looking for love (or something) online didn't do Weiner much good. Loved your hub though.

www.lookseenow on June 18, 2011:

I don’t date either, divorced twice, widowed once married with children grandchildren, and great grands. Even so dating services are too similar to chat rooms where danger exists from predators. You mentioned that too in your post—girls who are not girls saying they are girls. Knowing of this danger I would not advise one to use Internet dating. I personally know a man who dated online, married the girl, and they’re now separated. Well I do compliment him for going from New Jersey to meet him, in Russia to see if she really is a girl.

Saying you’re this, and you’re that is lying, that’s a feature we’ve been warned against, because it amounts to:

“Sitting with men/women of untruth; and with those who hide what they are; these I stay away from. (Psalm 26:4)

You can judge a book by its cover is the saying. I apply that too to the way one articulates in his/her writing. Slang, misspelled words, jargon, and poor grammar is an immediate turn-off.

Hey! As I read further in your post, I see you’ve already addressed that. Good show, and I agree.

Regards: Jerry jghn

Peter Dickinson from South East Asia on June 18, 2011:

Thank you for the laugh....never tried online dating. I doubt it would suit me. Enjoyed the read though.

LiamBean from Los Angeles, Calilfornia on June 17, 2011:

Hi . You have a intesting pofile. I like your (choose one) [pictures, sayings, personality]. I'm on here as "biggun in the shorts", but you can call me rob bottin.

All kidding aside wait till you get the explicit pictures. Anthony Weiner would blush.

JS Matthew from Massachusetts, USA on June 17, 2011:

Nice job Simone! I am still smiling. I never tried one of the dating sites as I would rather meet people in person. I do have some relatives that have had some funny stories related to these sites; one of them was engaged to be married-until she found out about the "other" fiancé via Facebook! Great read!


Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on June 17, 2011:

Hehee, thanks Hyphenbird. I'm as in the dark about dating as you are, but I sure do love the colorful peek that OKCupid has granted me. A total bonus on what would otherwise be a somewhat dry UI research expedition.

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on June 17, 2011:

AHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Smooth one, Ed!! Smooth!

Brenda Barnes from America-Broken But Still Beautiful on June 17, 2011:

Cute Hub. I am not dating but love to see how it is done nowadays. There surely are a lot of desperate, crazy, zany, fun folk out there in the internet dating world.

Edward Zhang from Bay Area, CA on June 17, 2011:

btw, plz dont mark my comment as spam plz

Edward Zhang from Bay Area, CA on June 17, 2011:

hey ur a cutie, i read ur hub. msg me bak and we can hook up sumtime!


Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on June 17, 2011:

OKCupid is tons of fun. And yeah, I don't really get anonymity either, haha!

But props to you for having perfected long-distance relationships! I'm told those are the hardest sort to keep up. Local dating should be a breeze in comparison!

Wesman Todd Shaw from Kaufman, Texas on June 17, 2011:


I've never heard of that site, and I've never, EVER understood the anonymity thing. I'm always. . . .me, with only exceptions to where I can't recall what e mail address I used to sign up. . .like on Redgage.

I'm partially aware of my dating problems. . . .I'm super fond of . . .Lady friends in Sand Diego, New Jersey, and . . .Greece. Yes, the Greece in the Mediterranean where Alexander and all of those nitwit philosophers was from.

I swear, women that are NOT anywhere near where I am - those gals seem to really like me!

Someday, I shall attempt actual dating of women within reach of me. Wish me luck!

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