Men Don't Date Fat Women
Fat Women Aren't Appreciated
As a fat woman, I've experienced the extreme shallowness that exists in our society. I'm speaking from years of experience, and believe me when I say: I'm fat. I often mention that I'm fat to my students and they usually reply, "You're not fat!” I laugh because I know I'm fat, and that's ok. If you're wondering why I haven't done anything about it, I have! Unless you've been fat before, i.e. 50 or more pounds overweight, you don't have a clue as to how difficult it is to lose that much weight. I've lost 100 pounds before, but due to the fact that I am a stress eater living a stress-filled life, I have gained it back plus more.
However, just because I'm fat doesn't mean that I'm totally unattractive—at least not in my eyes! I've been told many times, "You're pretty.” Yes, I know I have a pretty face. And, yes, I always take care of myself by waxing, getting pedicures and manicures, etc. This doesn't change the fact that, according to our society, being fat means you are ugly.
Men certainly do not find fat women attractive. The excuse I have heard my entire life is that they are visual creatures. Then men wonder why they can't find a nice girl who will be their confidante or best friend and more. You can't find someone like that if you are constantly judging a woman on her weight before considering her other qualities. Give the fat girls a chance! We may have extra cushioning, but we can do everything the skinny or average woman can—maybe even better.
I don't want to generalize fat or thin women, but I find that fat women often have more of an appreciation for food. Go figure! Most men also have an appreciation for food. You’ve heard the saying, "The fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach"? I think this is true. Every man I've dated has appreciated my amazing baking and cooking skills, and if you asked them what they miss about me, they would probably first say, "Her tacos and burritos.” Well, you would think maybe this would keep them, but sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you would imagine.
All I know is that men need to change their perception of fat women and give us a chance. Men need to stop being so obsessed with looks and dig deeper into who a person is. I recently joined an online dating site, and so far all I've attracted are men my father's age or older. Yuck. I think you are much more compatible with someone within a few years of your own age. Maybe that's my own shallowness rearing its ugly head! But my takeaway from this online dating situation is that it proves to me that men just don't like fat women.
Just to prove this theory of mine, I posted pictures of myself when I was not so fat. The elephant in the room is the statement I make in the "What are your personal goals" section. I state that I'm overweight and one of my personal goals is to lose weight and get healthy. This is what men read before they run!!!! If you're a man, stop acting as if you've never done this. Face the truth and stop blinding yourself. You are shallow!
To make things worse, the site I joined is a Christian dating site, and I thought Christian men would be less shallow. Goes to show you that being a Christian doesn't impact a person’s shallowness. This is quite depressing to me as a Christian myself.
Before I end this Hub, I do have to mention that I did get a man who wasn’t my father’s age send me some instant messages! Yes, I thought, someone is interested in me for more than my looks.
Go figure the guy was a complete weirdo.
I think the solution to meeting a man is to either lose weight or give up on men and become a nun or lesbian.
Just kidding! I love the shallow idiots.
In a Nutshell: Be Confident
Sorry if you’ve heard it before, but it’s true. If confidence doesn’t come naturally, just recall some of the women who are heavy and beautiful. Adele, Queen Latifah, Kristie Ashley, Aretha Franklin, Dascha Polanco, and Missy Elliot, just to name a few. Channel any or all of these divas. If you need help seeing more models that look like yourself, check out the blogs such as The Curvy Fashionista or Fuck Yeah Chubby Fashion!. Last but not least, practice self acceptance. That critical voice in the back of your head? Turn it off. Be gentle with yourself over any mistakes, and never lose sight of the things about your life you love.
The second most important piece of advice is to maintain your perspective. A real perspective, not one propagated by the media. According to the CDC, over 1/3 of Americans are obese. The average weight for women is 166 pounds and the average waist of a woman is 37.5—a size 18. This is the average, which means that a good number of people are above that. Does this mean that 1/3 of Americans never find love, or that the American woman of average weight or above is doomed to spinsterhood? The answer is of course not. They find a way to happiness—it’s just not advertised on television and in magazines. So will you.
Don’t Take Weirdos Personally
I sometimes file this under maintaining perspective. Don’t take weirdos personally, especially online. If you are hanging out on the subway or at the airport, what percentage of the men that you see would you want to date? Definitely less than one out of ten. So don’t begin examining your self worth when any of the other nine out of ten talk to you. Ignore them and keep meeting new people. On the flip side, don't take rejection personally. Again, keep perspective, and follow the same protocol—ignore them and keep meeting new people.
The first battle to fight is internal. Believe me, I know the hardship of battling through weirdos without becoming a nun. Remember: you are not in the minority, and divas come in all sizes.