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Men Don't Date Fat Women

Updated on December 12, 2016

Fat Women Aren't Appreciated

As a fat woman, I've experienced the extreme shallowness that exists in our society. I'm speaking from years of experience, and believe me when I say: I'm fat. I often mention that I'm fat to my students and they usually reply, "You're not fat!” I laugh because I know I'm fat, and that's ok. If you're wondering why I haven't done anything about it, I have! Unless you've been fat before, i.e. 50 or more pounds overweight, you don't have a clue as to how difficult it is to lose that much weight. I've lost 100 pounds before, but due to the fact that I am a stress eater living a stress-filled life, I have gained it back plus more.

However, just because I'm fat doesn't mean that I'm totally unattractive—at least not in my eyes! I've been told many times, "You're pretty.” Yes, I know I have a pretty face. And, yes, I always take care of myself by waxing, getting pedicures and manicures, etc. This doesn't change the fact that, according to our society, being fat means you are ugly.

Men certainly do not find fat women attractive. The excuse I have heard my entire life is that they are visual creatures. Then men wonder why they can't find a nice girl who will be their confidante or best friend and more. You can't find someone like that if you are constantly judging a woman on her weight before considering her other qualities. Give the fat girls a chance! We may have extra cushioning, but we can do everything the skinny or average woman can—maybe even better.

Full-sized woman?
Full-sized woman?

I don't want to generalize fat or thin women, but I find that fat women often have more of an appreciation for food. Go figure! Most men also have an appreciation for food. You’ve heard the saying, "The fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach"? I think this is true. Every man I've dated has appreciated my amazing baking and cooking skills, and if you asked them what they miss about me, they would probably first say, "Her tacos and burritos.” Well, you would think maybe this would keep them, but sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you would imagine.

All I know is that men need to change their perception of fat women and give us a chance. Men need to stop being so obsessed with looks and dig deeper into who a person is. I recently joined an online dating site, and so far all I've attracted are men my father's age or older. Yuck. I think you are much more compatible with someone within a few years of your own age. Maybe that's my own shallowness rearing its ugly head! But my takeaway from this online dating situation is that it proves to me that men just don't like fat women.

Just to prove this theory of mine, I posted pictures of myself when I was not so fat. The elephant in the room is the statement I make in the "What are your personal goals" section. I state that I'm overweight and one of my personal goals is to lose weight and get healthy. This is what men read before they run!!!! If you're a man, stop acting as if you've never done this. Face the truth and stop blinding yourself. You are shallow!

To make things worse, the site I joined is a Christian dating site, and I thought Christian men would be less shallow. Goes to show you that being a Christian doesn't impact a person’s shallowness. This is quite depressing to me as a Christian myself.

Before I end this Hub, I do have to mention that I did get a man who wasn’t my father’s age send me some instant messages! Yes, I thought, someone is interested in me for more than my looks.

Go figure the guy was a complete weirdo.

I think the solution to meeting a man is to either lose weight or give up on men and become a nun or lesbian.

Just kidding! I love the shallow idiots.

In a Nutshell: Be Confident

Sorry if you’ve heard it before, but it’s true. If confidence doesn’t come naturally, just recall some of the women who are heavy and beautiful. Adele, Queen Latifah, Kristie Ashley, Aretha Franklin, Dascha Polanco, and Missy Elliot, just to name a few. Channel any or all of these divas. If you need help seeing more models that look like yourself, check out the blogs such as The Curvy Fashionista or Fuck Yeah Chubby Fashion!. Last but not least, practice self acceptance. That critical voice in the back of your head? Turn it off. Be gentle with yourself over any mistakes, and never lose sight of the things about your life you love.

Maintain Perspective

The second most important piece of advice is to maintain your perspective. A real perspective, not one propagated by the media. According to the CDC, over 1/3 of Americans are obese. The average weight for women is 166 pounds and the average waist of a woman is 37.5—a size 18. This is the average, which means that a good number of people are above that. Does this mean that 1/3 of Americans never find love, or that the American woman of average weight or above is doomed to spinsterhood? The answer is of course not. They find a way to happiness—it’s just not advertised on television and in magazines. So will you.

Don’t Take Weirdos Personally

I sometimes file this under maintaining perspective. Don’t take weirdos personally, especially online. If you are hanging out on the subway or at the airport, what percentage of the men that you see would you want to date? Definitely less than one out of ten. So don’t begin examining your self worth when any of the other nine out of ten talk to you. Ignore them and keep meeting new people. On the flip side, don't take rejection personally. Again, keep perspective, and follow the same protocol—ignore them and keep meeting new people.

The first battle to fight is internal. Believe me, I know the hardship of battling through weirdos without becoming a nun. Remember: you are not in the minority, and divas come in all sizes.

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      Crash 3 days ago

      I've seen how overweight women date, I have almost never seen an overweight women give an overweight man a chance. 270 pound women who only date thing guys or in shape guys.

      Guys have no respect for boys who will jump anything.

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      Jennifer 12 days ago

      hi i just wanted to say that you can feel as good about yourself as you want you want, but when it comes to getting good looking man that do not have big belly or to old it is your weight. some big women get hot guys but very few. that is what is happening its sad but it we as big women do have to come down some if you want a hot guy.

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      frustrated 4 weeks ago

      This entire conversation is just making me sad. I was a chubby little girl because my parents were stupid. Then an anorexic teenager because of twiggy and the vogue generation. I have been on a diet for 50 years, every time I lose 100 lbs I gain back 120. I am so sick of lazy stupid men who only want to go out and eat, drink and watch hockey then complain I spend to much time at the gym and I still have a fat ass. I spend my day at work sitting at my desk then I come home and work my ass off again taking care of everybody else only to be abused for it. I wish I could find somebody to love me, help me to live a healthy lifestyle, and stop comparing me to some skinny photoshop teenager. STOP THE ABUSE! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! I AM NOT LAZY. I am hurt. I am damaged from the abuse. I am depressed because according to this conversation I am never going to be worth anything to anybody until I am skinny.

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      happycamper10 5 weeks ago

      Why men aren't attracted to women to fat women is irrelevant. It's innate. They aren't, and forever it shall be so.

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      Tim 7 weeks ago

      Most women want a guy 5'10 or better. I'm 5'7" and 53 years old male and thinning hair.

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      Smarmy2 2 months ago

      I'm simply not attracted in any way to obese women, they are no more attractive to me than a guy. It's as simple as that. I have a good fiend who is a lesbian, I don't expect her to be attracted to me, I don't get upset when she isn't.

      I'll be friends with a guy, I'll be friends with a heavy women. I don't want to make out with ether.

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      Book of Job 2 months ago

      Sorry, but I don't find fat women very interesting. I'm 58 and am in better shape than virtually all obese 25-year-old women (I'm not interested in anyone 20 or 30 years younger than me, by the way, regardless of their shape).

      My non-work life revolves around physical activity. Fat women can't do that. I see a fat woman as someone who sits around a lot. She won't keep up with me. I spend enough time sitting around at work. I don't want to hang out with someone who spends a lot of time in the kitchen, or nibbling, or watching TV.

      I also don't want the baggage that goes along with a fat woman - joint problems, heart problems, often diabetes and no end of other health problems that can even include vision problems and early dementia. As well as wondering whether the fatness is covering up a psychological problem.

      Weight can be lost - I lost 40 pounds in 3 months when my doctor told me to 15 years ago and have kept it off, without crash dieting - just by eating sensibly.

      I won't be cruel to you if I meet you, but I just can't imagine that we'd have that much in common if you're extremely overweight.

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      Delusional 2 months ago

      Haha. Good one. Men will start doing that about the same time women decide to give "poor men" a chance. The overweight women I've known who were great people have had no problem finding a mate. They weren't focused on 'superficial things', as you put it (like money, status, etc.). The fat women who can't find men often think because they have some advanced degree that it entitles them to an equally successful man (or the code word they use is "ambitious", which means rich). Men who have means don't want fat women, generally speaking.

      Disclaimer. I'm not the poor guy I mention in my hypothetical. I do fine financially and actually prefer a woman with a feminine curvy figure...curvy, not fat. Fat translates to lazy and lack of discipline. Since I'm an energetic man who enjoys outdoor activities and working out, why would I want a lazy slug who sits around whining and putting on weight because she's stressed out? Do the math.

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      CharlieInTheBox 3 months ago

      You realize you've contradicted yourself in two back-to-back sentences, right?

      "Men need to stop being so obsessed with looks and dig deeper into who a person is. I recently joined an online dating site, and so far all I've attracted are men my father's age or older. Yuck."

      Also, my last girlfriend was 19 years younger than I am and the one before that was 11 years younger, so there goes the yuck on our part anyway. And, no, I'm not wealthy. Not even that tall. Women just like me and it's not my fault the younger ones want to spend time with me.

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      Ken 4 months ago

      I love fat women! Would never date a thin/skinny girl. I love a girl that has a healthy appetite. To see her gain weight, that's such a turn-on for Me! Squeeze her fat, play with it, fondle it, is so exciting. Shake it, jiggle it, makes my heart race! Truth is, there are way more men that feel this way, that you think. They're afraid of what their friends and family will say. Instead of following their heart, and being happy, they give in to what we're all forced to see and think. So many people are separated/divorced because of what we're told is beautiful. If you think someone is beautiful, tell them! You're the one who has to look at them at the breakfast table. If you make her feel beautiful, she will always be faithful, and love you to death!

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      jawnee 4 months ago

      Women avoid short men who have no money who fake their height with platform shoes,yet entitled,overvalued disney princess d-bags who are short,flat broke,who fake their height with high heels are "goddess's." lol American women are wack.

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      Ken 4 months ago

      Guess I'm different. I absolutely love fat women. I can't get "excited" for a skinny/thin girl. I've dated girls from 200, to 650 pounds. I'm currently with a 325 pound girl, and want to marry her. My preference. I don't care what anyone says either. We're the ones who's happy. I love her. I love to squeeze her, and she loves when I do!

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      justsomeguy69 4 months ago

      don't be deluded and NO, men don't have to change because something as ridiculous as feminism is telling you that it's okay to be as big as 3 women and that manner shallow. The only reason you are alive and able to post your stupid blog enabling other fat people to live an unhealthy life is because your parents found one another attractive and more importantly suitable to work together to raise a family. It has been proven that obesity is linked to mental health issues and the fact that you are deluded and trying to delude others into believing you're beautiful and that men should accept you the way you are is proof of your mental instability. Men don't find you unattractive because they are shallow, men find you unattractive because you are fat. it is an unnatural State like everything else the proof is in the pudding

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      Doug 5 months ago

      Quit scapegoating and accept responsibility for yourself, your appearance and the fact that we are all visual creatures.

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      Jenn44 5 months ago

      You are in total denial of your addiction to food. It is amazing what lengths people will go to in order to cling to their addiction, including writing this article of nonsense. People can't help it if they aren't physically attracted to someone who is obese. Being unhealthy, quite simply, is unattractive. I am and have been obese for quite sometime. Now that I have finally come to terms with my problem and accept that there is nothing wrong with the fact that I too need to be physically attracted to my partner, I have been able to summon the willpower to stop shoveling food down my gullet. The notion that a person should accept you merely for your "inner beauty" is bullshit.

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      bibi 6 months ago

      Absolutely true. I don't care what people here say. I used to be chubby with abit of a belly and but recently lost a lot of weight n my physique n belly is in very good shape now. Like very flat belly n slim. And now, I'm getting ALOT of men chasing me.. Buying flowers n cakes n stuff. I clearly see the big difference. Honestly physical attraction is a big deal. Wot I want to say to men is... If u would never dream of dating an OLD or out of shape woman, then don't expect girls to want to date an old, short or fat guy as well. As much as u like a physical attraction, we do too. Just don't understand when old grandpa type or short fat guys hit on young fit girls thinking they have a chance. Maybe u might, but think about it ,if u would not dare an OLD fat woman, we r not interested in old short fat guys too ok. So yeah the door swings both ways.

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      Mandy 6 months ago

      This is ridiculous. Listen to yourself:

      "Men need to stop being so obsessed with looks and dig deeper into who a person is. I recently joined an online dating site, and so far all I've attracted are men my father's age or older. Yuck."

      Men won't date you because you're a feminist. ("Men need to feel and do what I want them to feel and do") and they are somehow superficial assholes for eliminating you on the basis of a serious health concern which is potentially an addiction (stress eating) and potentially value-based (eg active living)... and meanwhile THEY are gross for expecting a fat young woman whose mate value is lower than her peers to desire them as an older man???

      It's not their fault your current results, which are based on your past and current actions, do not generate attraction.

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      Educated 8 months ago

      This is a load of fucking garbage. Men, and women alike have COMPLETE right to do what they want! Look at the studies; Women are harsher on other women than men would ever hope to be! There is no controlling what you are attracted to. RESEARCH THE SCIENCE OF ATTRACTION!!!! Men and women alike are constantly sending messages to the opposite sex. Men are ALWAYS looking for fertility. Obese women send the subconscious message that their hormones are lacking, and therefore are less fertile, and henceforth LESS ATTRACTIVE!! RESEARCH!!! I'm so sick of this stuck up crybaby generation saying "The world will change for me". No it won't. The world is the way it is because of natural processes outside of anyone's control. Wtf did you think happened? A bunch of assholes came into power and said,"We're gonna make everyone less attracted to fat people because we're assholes, and that's what we do". Fuck off. Who gave you the right to reach into everyone's genetics and change them to how you fucking want them? The best you can do is discourage people from being jerks. But you Will NEVER change what evolution has already decided. Put ya big girl panties on, get a damn binky, and stop desiring to fuck with my DNA.

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      Auticus 8 months ago

      Well author, while I feel your frustration I will tell you women also dont like fat men.

      Its not a gender thing.

      Its a people thing. Its a culture thing. Its a status thing.

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      Capt chaos 8 months ago

      This is BS. All men don't need to change for you. Take responsibility for yourself.

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      samrat 10 months ago

      Let me ask you a few questions.

      Would you date a man who was a few inches shorter than you?

      Would you date a man who was bald?

      Would you date a man who had uncontrollable severe acne?

      Would you date a man with a feminine voice?

      If your answer to any of these questions is "no", then please stop being a hypocrite and quit whining.

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      jane 23 months ago

      my very fist boy that propose to me and i fell in love with him going a long with relationship for seven years i was just too fat by nature and my boyfriend told me he can't marry me because my fatness was too much for me to controlled after some times i experience that my boyfriend stop careering about me he was acting strange always complaining about my fatness. i take a lot to make me slim, more cafe and grapes even all, my fatness increased every day i was looking way of help and i found this email on internet was sheared ultimateherbalhome@outlook.com i contacted her if she can help me she said yes is very easy for her. i said OK let me give her trier she cast it for me and she told me in the next two months i will slim to normal stature. really everything happen as she said. i am very happy and my boyfriend said i am now his future wife because he see that my fatness was no more. i really appreciate Dr ultimate.

    • profile image

      jane 23 months ago

      my very fist boy that propose to me and i fell in love with him going a long with relationship for seven years i was just too fat by nature and my boyfriend told me he can't marry me because my fatness was too much for me to controlled after some times i experience that my boyfriend stop careering about me he was acting strange always complaining about my fatness. i take a lot to make me slim, more cafe and grapes even all, my fatness increased every day i was looking way of help and i found this email on internet was sheared ultimateherbalhome@outlook.com i contacted her if she can help me she said yes is very easy for her. i said OK let me give her trier she cast it for me and she told me in the next two months i will slim to normal stature. really everything happen as she said. i am very happy and my boyfriend said i am now his future wife because he see that my fatness was no more. i really appreciate Dr ultimate.

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      Courtney Rhodes 2 years ago from Houston, Texas U.S.A.

      I am not thin, not fat, but not what is considered ideal by media standards. I have a single "fit" friend that is active on the dating scene. We are the same age. Sometimes she'd invite me over to "evaluate" the guy she was dating and being married for 13 years I didn't really mind, although I did tell her that she should go with her instinct ultimately and not my opinion solely. After meeting several dates with her, she stopped asking me. I thought nothing of it until she told me that some of her dates wouldn't stop talking or asking about me or we seemed to hit it off. A few of them were people I'd consider if I were single, but I would not cheat on my husband, nor have a "flirtatious" conversation with a man who is not my husband. Maybe being overweight lessened the stress on the man's part to impress allowing him to talk more without feeling to much stress. Maybe the the same for me. Maybe they found me physically attractive or a combination of all. Since I wasn't trying to impress anyone I actually did inadvertantly, to the point my friend felt I was a threat. Of course people judge others first by their looks if that is what is presented first, but it doesn't necessarily mean that first impressions are the only impressions that person can walk away with. So regarding the people that are very anti-fat to the point of insulting and shaming, they would find another way to insult you (maybe not in the beginning) if you were "slim and perfect". That's the kind of people they are, most likely they are hiding something about themselves they hate and you wouldn't want to be with this kind of person anyway. Good luck on your journey, there is someone for everyone out there.

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      Hypocrite???? 2 years ago

      You all are hypocrite. When you cannot stop eating, it is a disease just like a drug addict. Don't you think that if we could just stop eating that we could????????? DUHHHHHHHHH! No brainer. It's not that easy. Or we all would be thin and happy. Guys are very visual creatures. That is a fact. Science. When I was thin I had guys flocking to me, when I gained weight, no guys wanted anything to do with me. By the way women are the same way. Sometimes the beauty is inside, not the outside.

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      Bibiana 2 years ago

      I am a woman who loves fat men, a female Fat Admirer. I do agree with you though- just about any woman of any size can get a guy to have sex with her, but heavier men are not so lucky. That stinks.

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      Ash 2 years ago

      I'm certain that most people want someone who in their eyes is healthy...just like we want someone who is free of addictions of any other kind. But the truth is, weight matters. I wish it didn't and it's not something I ever thought twice about when I was fit. We cannot help what we are attracted to. However, being this weight has actually been a blessing in disguise for me. Once I return to the weight that I had been comfortable with all my life, I will not be open to dating someone who fat shames...not because I have experienced being fat but because of the cruelty and ignorance of it. To me it would be on the same level as a woman shaming a man for being poor (but now had money)? Would you be able to trust that she would be there with you through the good and bad? Probably not. Shaming is superficial, judgmental and downright cruel but it's also in someone's full control which is why I will not accept it.

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      Ash 2 years ago

      This blog was such an eye-opening experience for me. I'm in the health field and used to be very fit and active until I had some health problems that directly impacted my weight. It has been a very strange experience to have been very fit and then the polar opposite...and the sad thing is that people treat you very differently. I spent most of my life in long term relationships, no problems getting dates and guys being crazy about me but this was all when I was fit. When my weight transitioned after my last long term relationship, the dating world was a much different world than I had remembered it. Not that I was older and now successful, but because I was fat

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      Gerard 3 years ago

      What a difference a thick woman or smooth, the main thing that she was from Eastern Europe. Russian women are known for their devotion and love https://mymagicbrides.com

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      T.T. 3 years ago

      So much misogyny and unnecessary hatred in these comments. Sad really, but hey the 'net will always be the cradle of idiocy, cruelty and cowardice.

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      Hockeypuck 3 years ago

      My Gawd, where do these hambeasts get the notion they are owed love?

    • profile image

      das 3 years ago

      asdasf

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      Non lazy dude 3 years ago

      Fat people are lazy. You got that big because you ate too much and lived like a sloth. Go to the gym and eat less than you burn and get over it. I don't date lazy women and women don't date broke dudes nuff said.

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      DragonFi 3 years ago

      Well you're weight might not put people off as much as your insistence on crossing out words in sentences for no good reason at all.

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      cazetan 3 years ago

      My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago. he started acting strange, he was ignoring all of my calls and won’t speak to me at all, i wanted us to be back together forever and work through things as a couple. I just could not picture my life without him. i felt so rejected when i discovered that he was cheating on me. it made me go crazy because i took him as the love of my life, my best friend, my soul mate, after making some research i found DR EKA on the net that he can restore broken relationship and i gave it a try, after using his love spell, my boyfriend came back and since then I definitely believe (dreka14demons@gmail.com) is real, I must admit, the result was perfect, wonderful, this caster DR EKA is real. you can contact he via email (dreka14demons@gmail.com) for urgent help

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      benkesu 3 years ago

      My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago. he started acting strange, he was ignoring all of my calls and won’t speak to me at all, i wanted us to be back together forever and work through things as a couple. I just could not picture my life without him. i felt so rejected when i discovered that he was cheating on me. it made me go crazy because i took him as the love of my life, my best friend, my soul mate, after making some research i found DR EKA on the net that he can restore broken relationship and i gave it a try, after using his love spell, my boyfriend came back and since then I definitely believe (dreka14demons@gmail.com) is real, I must admit, the result was perfect, wonderful, this caster DR EKA is real. you can contact he via email (dreka14demons@gmail.com) for urgent help

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      Nick 3 years ago

      Feminism is fascinating. Men are somehow manipulated by the evil media to not find overweight women appealing, yet all of these overweight women think that some Channing Tatum lookalike should want them. Do fat women suddenly fantasize about John Goodman or Chris Farley? Of course not.

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      Beating a dead horse 3 years ago

      Obese is not attractive.

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      Tom 3 years ago

      Getting winded by going up a few steps is honestly pathetic!

      Say what you want, but we are not being shallow!

      Besides do you really want to be pitied? Because that's what your asking for. He should go out with you even though your fat, he just needs to deal with it.

      What you're asking for is to be pitied.

      How can you say "I love you body, mind and soul" if you think she is ugly. You can say the words but you never really mean it.

      Believe it or not but it really is all about sex - it is about sexual attraction... Yes, there is more to it than just sex but sex is still a huge part if it. The only thing different between your wife and your friends and family is literally "sex."

      And I know what Joshua said was meant to be rude - but nevertheless, it is true.

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      liam 3 years ago

      Are you living under a rock? Some guys love woman regardless and I actually find thicker, and fuller woman are more attractive then skinny girls I prefer my woman in all shapes mostly except as strange as it sounds skinny. Im talking about like stick figures wel I look like it like this woman are great but shapeless woman are my least admirable if you have a personaility that helps whining doesn't :)

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      fatwoman 3 years ago

      Christian men never want a fat woman. I don't know why. They are supposed to be the least shallow. I quit going to church and quit the church singles scene and met a wonderful man who didn't care that I was overweight. Go figure.

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      Tim 3 years ago

      I think we haven't evolved much ... Physical attraction is somewhat primal. I'm talking about both sexes. We see "healthier" appearance as more attractive to increase our chances of survival in the "wilderness" haha... Not having the willpower to control food intake also may raise a red flag to many - it is a weakness. Have you thought of dating fat guys?? Do you find fat men attractive? Seems that obese people are fixated on being accepted by "skinny" people (the perceived judgers) in the form of dating them. Date an obese man.

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      Doug 3 years ago

      I want to snuggle and cuddle a fat woman but all women reject me for reasons I can only guess! The most likely two gusses are: 1. I'm not full of money and 2. I'm not crazed on intercorse. The only woman that went with me (14 years ago) actually married me, died of cancer in 3 1/2 years (we did not get divorced)Before her:no one.since her:no one.

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      Gloomy Sunday 3 years ago

      Sad, Sad human who does judge,

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      unknown kid 3 years ago

      this comment is to maureen carey if men aren't attracted to overweight or obese women that doesn't make them shallow what makes a person shallow is that a guy wheres a shirt saying no fat chicks is who we are attracted to would you like to be forced to be attracted to guys your fathers age it's same thing not all men are like that women do it to i know it's about personality aswell but it's the looks that attracts the person i can't date someone that i'm not attracted to i have obese friends how is it wrong to not date overweight women that is stupid that s like saying drinking beer is wrong i do admit there are some skinny women that i'm not attracted to i do admit i'm not the best looking guy there are women out there who are not attracted to me does that make them shallow of course not it's who there attracted to i know it's not all about looks but if i had a perfect girlfriend a supermodel and if she was using me i would tell her to fuck off but if there was a decent looking women with a nice personality caring and if i was barely attracted i wouldn't mind dating her

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      JC 3 years ago

      Men are shallow because they're not attracted to overweight women? If a woman can turn me down for a date because she doesn't like my thinning hair, then guess what, I reserve the right to turn down a woman who weighs significantly more than a healthy 6'2" 180 lb man who runs 5 miles everyday! So yes, I'm saying that women are every bit as shallow when it comes to judging men. But here is the thing, my thinning hair is something that is completely out of my control... At least not without spending thousands of dollars on it! However, a persons weight is something that is usually very much within their control. I know there a some cases where it is not, but face it, these cases are rare! Most people are overweight for the simple reason that they eat too much, and exercise too little. This is going to lead the opposite sex into thinking that you do not care enough about yourself to make healthy lifestyle decisions. I apologize if that sounds harsh, but it is the simple non-sugarcoated truth!

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      healthyhuman 3 years ago

      I am an active woman with a tall athletic stature. I love food. I love to cook, and eat what I cook, because...well, I'm really good at cooking! I love bread, and cheese, and sweets, but I also love being active. I do not snack or eat processed foods, but have a few sweets a few times a week. I only eat fresh and not a lot of red meats. My husband loves my cooking! Aside from societal preceptions of ideal 'beauty', there is an evolutionary/ biological ideology inbedded deep within the root of our pysche as human beings. That is, we are not supposed to be seditary, our ancient ancestors were always on the moving and working hard for their meals and shelter. A healthy individual is not fat, and actually not all healthy individuals are extremely skinny either. A healthy individual is fit and in shape. Either ends of the spectrum of being obese, or too thin indicates weaknesses such as inability to have control of oneself, or to educate ones self on nutrional information, perhaps indicates insecurites, depression, ocd ect. On this topic, bologically, it is not benifitial to pair up with an unhealthy individual. There is a reason why a healthy body weight is attractive. Because this is also an indication of mental wellness, and intellegence. You have the world at your finger tips. Spend less time on dating sites and more time researching what you are eating and how, AND WHY - to be healthy- for yourself- no one else... The last thing our society should give in to is peoples with bad health choises, just to stroke the egos and not offend anyone. You are unhealthy. This is not societies fault, not mens perceptions, or women who make healthy choisees. I am not tall and 'thin' because society thinks i should be... I am in shape because I am healthy and a choose to be healthy. I choose to educate myself and I choose to cook healthy, delicious foods. I decide when I eat and how much with self control and decipline.

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      Joshua 3 years ago

      Do you really want to know why most men don't like to date fat women - and realize that I said "Most." Here is a list of things that thin/healthy people can do that fat people cannot.

      1. Cannot fit into the booths at restuarants

      2. Can barely fit into the seats on airplanes

      2B. Can barely fit into the seats at movie theaters/concerts or anything similar.

      3. Try to ride a regular street bike comfortably and without getting winded during the first 30 seconds

      4. Try to take a bath, probably cannot fit

      5. Can't jump on a trampoline

      6. Too big/heavy to go on rides at theme parks,

      7. Cannot join the Military

      8. You have to go to the Big&Tall shop because other stores won't have your size.

      9. Cannot sit in a chair without spilling over to the sides

      10. Use Crutches

      11. IF you are able to even sit on the floor, you won't be able to get up in a dignified way.

      12. Too big for most water slides

      13. Cannot sit on a persons lap without killing them - this is a big one

      14. Can't really even look good in clothes

      15. Toilets are too small for fat people

      16. Difficulty wiping

      17. Live past 45

      18. Go parachuting

      19. Bungee Jump

      20. Having to use the scooter carts at grocery stores instead of a regular cart.

      21. Go Hiking

      22. Easily cut their toenails

      23. Go Carts

      24. Try to ride a horse

      25. Walk between people in tight spaces

      26. Easily go under a car to fix it

      27. See one's own penis/vagina

      28. Can't do 98% of sex positions

      29. Hula hoop

      30. Easily walk up stairs

      31. Can't be picked up/held by your boyfriend

      32. SURVIVE MOST LIFE THREATENING SITUATIONS

      32B. Boyfriend can't even carry you to safety.

      32C. If your falling off an edge, don't expect people to grab you - you will be like an anchor and take them with you, we don't want to die.

      32D. If there is a fire and you are a couple stories up, you will probably break the trampoline that firefighters use to catch people.

      You know why you cannot do any of these things? Because your too fat.

      "Your too fat to do stuff."

      Taken from this video called Joe Mamma:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvPciRmLSlU

      Just skip to 3:11 and watch until 4:31 and you will hear even more stuff you cannot do - it may be a stupid comedy video, but it is true

      And no, I am not trying to be mean, but really? I want a girl who is healthy.

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      ChasInBox 3 years ago

      Ma'am...I would like to say I love fat women. I find fat very sexy, plush, delicious, alluring and more. Nothing sweeter than my hand around your full-figured waist, or putting my arms around your plus size figure. White guy, too - believe it?

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      Hello 3 years ago

      "Give the fat girls a chance!!! We may have extra cushioning, but we can do everything else like the skinny or average woman! Maybe even better! "

      Come take a run with me for an hour.......................

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      shanna 3 years ago

      With most of the comments it has proved my point. Men don't like heavy women, I have been married for 10 years and he says he's attracted to bigger women, I know he's full of crap because I catch him looking at porn which of coarse he is looking at skinny women. I don't believe for one second that any guy even guys who date big women are attracted to them. I believe all men are attracted to thin women they just settle and take what they can get with thick chubby or big women.

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      Anonymous 3 years ago

      All I expect is a woman who is as fit as I am. I don't think that's asking for too much and it makes sense. I've had issues before when I was with a girl who just wanted to sit on her ass all day. I wanted to go for walks, swim, hike or something. The desire for physical activity is usually seen in how fit a person is. Thus, expecting someone with a similar level of fitness works out well. Perhaps you don't want a man who is as fat as you. Hmmm?

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      JT 3 years ago

      How does the woman who wrote this feel about fat men? I'm sure she clicks past the fat or less attracitve men. Does she call herself shallow? Especially with online dating, there has to be some kind of spark., The only spark you can get while scrolling through pics is by looks, that's just the way it is. Deal with it. Yes fat people get a bum rap on dating sites, but it goes both ways. Don't call men shallow for browsing dating sites the same way you do.

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      re-obese 3 years ago

      Hmm is that a real question, why won't all men date huge women ? Well, do men HAVE to find every woman attractive ? That's basically what you are saying, actually complaining, that it's not fair. So you as a large woman, find EVERY man physically acceptable for dating and intimacy ? I'm sure NOT. you have your likes and dislikes so if you are upset about being large, stop eating, hit the treadmill. It's a simple equation, all the food you are stuffing down must be used up so IF you want to be slimmer, don't make excuses, be strong, just do it. I mean, come on, biggest loser contestants can do it when the hope of money is involved. Men can't force themselves to be attracted to a huge woman any more than he can force himself to look at a man, it's just not there if it's just not there. Do you expect someone to FORCE himself to be attracted to you ?

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      roosh 3 years ago

      Look author, this is an easy question to answer:

      Back in the middle ages, being fat was considered healthy because people were starving and there was never enough to eat.

      Nowadays, we have plenty to eat. The proverb goes:

      In a time of famine, the fat woman is impressive. In a time of plenty, the fat woman is a gluttonous pig.

      The same can be said for why sluts are shamed.

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      Richard 3 years ago

      Ya know that's kind of funny seeing as I've asked fat women who accuse men of being shallow that have said the exact same as you before and guess what? they can't stand to date fat guys.If you can't date a fat guy then you are your own problem.

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      Not owning your problems 3 years ago

      People first notice another person's physical attractiveness, unless you've only talked on the phone or another impersonal way. There isn't anything wrong with that, because it can tell you other things about their personality. It's not completely shallow.

      One woman has neat, clean, combed hair. Another woman's hair is dirty and unkempt. Unless there's a specific reason for that, you can tell the second woman doesn't take hygiene or personal care too seriously.

      It's the same thing with people who are overweight. Most people who are overweight usually eat unhealthy foods, don't exercise, and simply eat too much. This shows a lack of self-discipline and less understanding of health and nutrition. If a man wants to have a child with a woman, who would he rather pick? The in-shape, slimmer woman, or the unhealthy looking overweight woman?

      Instead of owning this problem, that you eat too much, don't eat the right foods, and don't exercise, you just keep looking for people who will accept you. Other fat people will accept you. You'll just keep acting repressed and agreeing with each other that everyone else is the problem, not you.

      These men have no obligation to date you. If they don't find you attractive, they don't need to do anything they don't want to. You're not owed a partner if you can't take care of yourself.

      Own your problems, don't make everyone else the problem.

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      Extremely Offended 3 years ago

      Well, to be entirely honest, some people commenting are too brutal, others are much too soft.

      To start, I know what it's like to be a stress eater. I'm male, and actually still a teen, but I've dealt with a lot of stress in my life, more than the usual homework and bullies, but I won't go into detail. I try to force myself out of the kitchen, and sometimes succeed, which is why I'm not largely overweight, but I was. I still am overweight, but not as much, though I'd like to be lean or muscular, not overweight at all. So, I understand that portion. To everyone who doesn't get it, some people do react differently to stress than others. Stress, in large doses, can cause a number of problems and illnesses and abnormalities and odd habits. Sometimes people go days not eating, others eat like pigs. Some spend their time puking, some get dangerously bad migraines, others can't stop crying at the smallest of things. And from basic problems like those, more serious issues can occur.

      Now, to the idiots who have posted that it isn't in our mental programming to seek young, attractive mates, you are wrong. Studies have, in fact, proven that seeking a lover is largely based on appearance because hormones make us want a mate who takes care of themselves and can therefore take care of a child. Attraction to large breasts, for example, is due to the male brain automatically believing that bigger means more milk, so we find it a sexy, erotic thing. A healthy body means the woman or man takes care of themselves, eats right, is active, and has a strong body system suitable for child bearing (for women). So, YES, it is in our brains to naturally seek healthier lovers.

      On the flip side of that, some men are more brains than hormones and look into a girl and see her for her. I have been attracted to only a handful of women (I have high standards for an obese guy, if that makes any sense) and several of them were about as overweight as I am, maybe a little more or less. I was one of the few guys who found them beautiful despite the weight. My attraction to a girl is based on four things in the following order: Intelligence, Personality, Sense Of Humor, Appearance. The last two are optional, though the first two are mandatory. I can't find myself attracted to unintelligent or rude/vulgar/cruel girls. In this, I am very offended at being told to stop fooling myself and admit to preferring skinny girls. I really don't have a major preference on weight, so I am not fooling myself if I say I don't mind larger girls. Yeah, very offended on that comment. Not all men are hormonal pigs with no sense of dignity and will stoop to dating idiots for good sex.

      Another note, women are just as bad, sometimes worse, than men. I have met plenty of girls that have outright told me, "Sorry, but I'd never date you. You're fat and I'm not attracted to big guys." Again, it is in their hormones and natural mind programming to be more interested in sexy men than bigger guys, which I hate. Believe me, I've been trying to lose weight. My issue is that I am expected to be the smart guy and people respect me for lacking a sense of vanity, even my family, so if I were to ever actually be caught working-out willingly in front of them, I'd lose that image. So I can only do anything to lose weight in secret or with a different excuse, if the opportunity comes. Probably that I'm worrying for nothing. People might respect me more if I wanted to lose weight and kept my pride low, but I'm worried it will ruin my smart-guy, don't-care-what-you-think-of-my-weight outlook. My own fault.

      Another thing, as I just did, own up to your issues. You're overweight, so stop pushing it on men and blaming them. It is in their hormones. You need to also take a good long look at yourself and think, "Well, I have the personality. . .If I got skinnier, I'd have men begging for me." That thought is the only reason I've lost as much as I have, though knowing my luck, a sexy body would get me nowhere. For some reason, I've met girls who actually tell me, "I could never date you because you're so much smarter than I am and you sometimes talk and act like a girl." I am a bit feminine and I do get called "human dictionary" a lot, so I guess I don't even a decent personality, but oh well. All the same, you need to straighten up and realize that while part of the problem is hormonal pigs that you have unfortunately associated me with, you are also part of the problem. Weight is a factor in our lives that can be controlled with self-control.

      All of that above said, I still do feel pity, a bit, for you, knowing how difficult it can be to lose weigh, especially when you're over 50 pounds overweight. I've been there. I managed to lose it in secret. I made up the excuse that walking was a good way to relax and unwind, which my family constantly tells me to do, as I am very high-strung, so they were more than willing to let me walk for several miles around town or down back roads anytime I asked if I could without a hint of suspicion. I did it almost daily during the Spring and Summer (good temperatures, peace an quiet of back roads that run through forests, excellent time for walking, does help relax and unwind).

      Oh, and stop expecting so much. Just because a guy is 'Christian' doesn't mean anything. I used to be, of course, but recently I've given up on the title. The closest I come to believing in any god are the Greek Myths, which I love, but I certainly don't worship. I gave up belief in any of the current "almighty creator" gods that would snap their fingers and send you to Hell if you did wrong. However, plenty of guys I know that are Christian are far worse than I am. They can claim to be good people, but their hormones, lack of self-control, and overall personalities will mean more than any Bible passage they read when determining their actual dating preferences, or anything else for that matter.

      Next time you write anything for all the world to see, try to be less biased and emotional about it and more logical and scientific. Logic, Emotion, and Instincts have to balance one another out if you want to get anywhere and everywhere. Follow your Brain sometimes, your Heart sometimes, and your Gut sometimes, but never always follow one or two and shut the other one or two out completely. Your Heart can easily cloud your better judgement. Bravery without Knowledge is Stupidity. A Heart that doesn't go for what it wants is destined to live in misery. You need all three to complete your life and you're currently basing everything far too much on your emotional bias.

      In addition, I would be very grateful if you wouldn't generalize me with others of my sex. I find being compared to the majority of them rather offensive. To whoever said Europeans and Asians and all that are better to date, make of me what you will. I am always a gentlemen to the girls I date, making sure to buy flowers for every holiday, along with any other appropriate gifts, I am polite, and I always hear her opinions out before replying or contradicting, as I believe an intelligent woman should have an equal voice in a relationship. I have dated only two girls, actually. Most people find that strange for a 14 year old male, but I point this out merely to say I dated one girl who was, at the time, very, very large and another who was, literally, a model. An actual teenaged model. I dated the big one for several months longer, enjoyed being with her more, and I'm currently still trying to think of ways to get back together with her. She's skinnier, but she's still overweight, and I want to find a way to get back with her. Even if I had an eight pack, sexy pecks, beefy arms, and was just overall the sexiest man alive, I'd still want her back right now.

      Please, never again write something that generalizes the male population, especially if you're going to be offensive about it. Most men, yes, are like that. Most women, yes, are also like that. However, there is a good percentage that have more taste, more emotion, and more control over their hormones. I hope you find one and I wish you well in losing weight.

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      Anon 3 years ago

      It's simple.

      "On the whole"...

      1. Women prefer taller guys and women prefer guys that are in shape

      2. Men prefer girls that are in shape

      3. Having personality helps make up for short-coming in these areas but it doesn't change the above facts

      4. We do live in a society where it is hard to stay fit and healthy, esp. as a lot of us grow up eating unhealthy but it's your life. You need to take control. The real problem here isn't men, it is your coping mechanism for stress, which as you say is food.

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      LOlJoker 3 years ago

      This article is a Joke for sure. I've seen way more fat women with small men than I have fat men with smaller women. In fact, I have seen fat chicks that pretty much exclusively date thin/athletically built dudes and they get all the dates and sex they want. Let a big dude make up in his mind that he will exclusively date smaller women, you will then see an extremely lucky or extremely lonely individual.

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      Laura 3 years ago

      Definitely a topic that can be discussed endlessly because beauty really is in the eye of the beholder but if we want to discuss "generalities" the majority of men do not want to date an overweight woman....in fact the majority of men want to date a "fit" woman and have very little patience for a woman even a few pounds overweight. I am 5' tall and have gained a little weight after a family tragedy....I now weigh 118 lbs....you guessed it....my boyfriend of 3 years said he can't deal with my weight!!!!

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      Karla 3 years ago

      I was thin for most of my life and then got huge (200 lbs).. . I wanted to gain weight to be invisible to men, but, instead of being invisible I just attracted a different type of guy. It was the worse, as I truly enjoy being active and my size limited me and caused me to get injured. I am now thin again and never going back to that unhealthy way of life... I also have learned to appreciate the attention from men

    • Bianca Mccoullum profile image

      B.Mccoullum 3 years ago from Fort Wayne

      Self confidence and a personality---I have all of that. Thanks, great post!

    • Holly Dawn profile image

      Holly Dawn 3 years ago from Mount Pleasant, Iowa

      I've been overweight or obese for the majority of my life (the last time I was skinny was when I was a newborn baby!) I have never personally had a problem with the opposite sex and now that I am in my early 30's I find that I have quite the active sex and dating life.

      I also have an outgoing personality and a great sense of humor, I take great pride in my appearance and hygiene and I have a pretty face, I date and attract successful men who are not losers or even overweight themselves (even though I hold no prejudice against larger men or men with blue collar jobs).

      Currently I am casually seeing a man who is a member of a drug enforcement task force and the assistant chief of the local fire department, I broke off things earlier this year with a man who was a gymnastics coach for a local college.

      These men are nice looking, fit and respected in my local community so Bianca, you and other overweight women are not doomed, I'm speaking from personal experience, self confidence and a personality will take you far in life if you know how to work it.

    • Bianca Mccoullum profile image

      B.Mccoullum 3 years ago from Fort Wayne

      After reading the comments, it is confirmed: I'm doomed. However, I've adjusted to being single. I can not want what does not want me.

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      loreleiwatkins 3 years ago

      i think one must have a positive and respectful attitude toward yourself and others, no matter age, size, economical position. i am fat, always been fat. and have dated gorgeous funny interesting man. curiously, many of them younger than i am. whatever you are and do, cut the complaining number of your life asap and just live up.

      be happy.

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      loreleiwatkins 3 years ago

      i think one must have a positive and respectful attitude toward yourself and others, no matter age, size, economical position. i am fat, always been fat. and have dated gorgeous funny interesting man. curiously, many of them younger than i am. whatever you are and do, cut the complaining number of your life asap and just live up.

      be happy.

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      Bob 3 years ago

      Fat women are like mopeds. Fun to ride as long as your friends don't know you're doing it.

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      Ben 3 years ago

      As a Christian man I have found that the vast majority of women living a Biblical life are of skinny to average weight. Most of the time fatness is caused by the sinful behaviors of laziness and gluttony.

      So in finding a good wife, I would like to find one not living unrepentantly in sin. Just happens that the vast majority of those women are a healthy weight or currently working on weight loss.

      Men aren't shallow for not dating fat women if they don't find them sexually attractive. Would you rather your husband want to have sex with you or the woman he's looking at across the room? Wanting to bone your spouse helps prevent infidelity. Men know this. What's the point of getting married besides sex? All emotional needs can be fulfilled through nonsexual friendships with women. The way to a man's heart is through his pants. If you want to marry, start offering something like a sexually attractive body that the man can't obtain through just friendship. Christianally speaking of course. I know most people do it before marriage.

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      Truthis 3 years ago

      See, fat gals like to compare themselves to fat guys, but there is no comparison. Fat guys know they're fat and expect to be treated that way. Fat GALS on the other hand want to be treated like a supermodel and NEVER speak of the rolls of sweaty fat and stinky va-jay-jay between their legs. Fat PEOPLE are gross, fat WOMEN are delusional AND gross.

      It's not like you're missing a leg, pigs, it's not like you've been burned and you look like a horror show. No, it's just fat and you're JUST lazy.

      GET OUT OF YOUR CHAIR!

      Stop sitting down so much fat people. You sit behind a TV, a computer, a dinner table, and you never get up. You get so fat that your ankles and feet start bothering you giving you yet ANOTHER excuse no to exercise and eat less.

      It's one thing to have LITERALLY a few extra pounds, but these exact women described above are NOT a few pounds over. A few pounds is like 5-15lbs. NOT 50!! And sure as hell not 100lbs. No, monsters, 100 pounds is NOT a few extra, it's an entire week's worth of groceries that's what it is. It's the weight of a 7 year old child, probably one you still use as an excuse for being big.. poor kid.. simply because you were pregnant.. ate for FIVE .. and didn't do a thing to lose any of it after you had them.

      Women are.. first and foremost.. liars. More than men ever were. Why? Because THEY LIE TO THEMSELVES! Something men never did. What's worse is they then REQUIRE men to lie to them too. You have to be a master liar to be with a fat woman. She'll not only want you to tell her she's "beautiful" when in reality she is FAT AND FAT IS NOT BEAUTIFUL.. HELLO! .. but they will also require you to PRETEND like you want to have sex with them and call you a freak when you get "fat impotence" which,.. by the way guys,.. this is NOT a flaw in the system.

      "Fat Impotence" is a NATURAL .. BUILT IN baby making instinct. Men are NOT meant to reproduce with fat women. They're unhealthy. ALL OF THEM! Either mentally, physically, or both. There is a REASON they are fat! This "reason" does NOT automatically deserve them sympathy or a flipping handicap parking pass. It deserves them LONELINESS until they reduce their weight.

      I'm not saying NO ONE should ever be with a fat woman. I'm saying that fat PEOPLE can LOSE WEIGHT! That is all there is. There is no coloring outside the lines.. fat people need to lose weight.. period. One in about one MILLION people have an actual disorder that makes it so hard to lose weight that they need medication and GUESS WHAT.. THOSE people are ON that medication and they .. you guessed it.. lose weight. People that are on disability because they "don't want" to lose weight are LAZY!

      Do NOT mate with these cows. If they have the ambition to lose, they're worth it. If they don't, not only are they fat and unattractive, they also have ZERO ambition in life and THAT is something you don't want to pass on to your children either.

      END FAT ACCEPTANCE TODAY! ~ Lower Diabetes and Heart Disease Forever As A Result. Fat people do not live as long, this is called "Natural Selection". You're either part of it or you're not.

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      Maureenissadandfat 3 years ago

      Maureen, your rant was just plain and ridiculous. Men are not going to change what they are attracted to. Fat women are not attractive. Too bad you don't like it. Call men "shallow" and "cruel" all you want, it won't change a thing. So, now stop complaining and go lose some weight Miss Piggy!

    • Maureen Carey profile image

      Maureen Carey 4 years ago from Cleveland, Ohio

      . I know because I've heard this my entire life! Then men wonder why they can't find a nice girl who will be their confidante or best friend and more! You can't find someone like that if you are constantly basing a woman first on her weight! Give the fat girls a chance!!! We may have extra cushioning, but we can do everything else like the skinny or average woman! Maybe even better!

      I don't want to generalize fat or thin women, but I find that fat women often have more of an appreciation for food. Go figure! Most men also have an appreciation for food. What's that saying, "the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach"? I think this is true. Every man I've dated appreciated my amazing baking and cooking skills and if you asked them what they missed about me, they would probably first say, "her tacos and burritos". Well, you would think maybe this would keep them, but sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you want it to turn out.

      All I know is men need to change their perception of fat women and give us a chance. Men need to stop being so obsessed with looks and dig deeper into who a person is. I recently joined an online dating site and so far all I've attracted is men my father's age or older. Yuck, I think it is gross to date someone my father's age! I think you are much more compatible with someone your age or within a few years. Maybe that's my shallowness rearing its' ugly head! Anyway, this online dating situation proves to me that men just don't like fat women.

      Just to prove this theory of mine, I posted pictures of myself when I was not so fat. The elephant in the room is the statement I make in the "What are your personal goals" section. I state that I'm overweight and one of my personal goals is to lose weight and get healthy. This is what men read and then they run!!!! If you're a man, stop acting as if you've never done this. Face the truth and stop blinding yourself. You are shallow!

      To make things worse, the site I joined is a Christian dating site and I thought Christian men would be less shallow. Goes to show you being a Christian doesn’t change people’s shallowness. This is quite

      Okay. Let me just say it like this! If men can't accept all of you, then they don't deserve any of you. Men think that it's okay to be shallow, as some of the men on here seem to think. But it's wrong and insensitive as well. Let's say that a woman is overweight so a man doesn't want her,,but the moment she drops 50 pounds, he's suddenly all over her. She's basically the same person inside, she just lost the weight. That goes to show you that he's not really interested in her as a person, he's interested in her body. Because if he was interested in her as a person, he would have gotten to know her a long time ago before she lost the weight. Men like that are transparent and you can see right through them, my advice is to steer clear of them and find real men.

      As far as Christian men go, if they are only interested in women who are thin and skinny and meet society's standards of beauty, then that is wrong as well. As Christians, they are supposed to imitate the example of Christ who was never superficial. He doesn't care what you look like, dress like, or how much weight you have put on. All He cares about is the condition of your heart, of your soul. Everything else is irrelevant! Let me repeat that! Everything else is irrelevant! To make someone feel that they are somehow less deserving of love, time and attention because of weight is sin. Christian men must learn how to overcome this sinful world and are commanded to love everyone. If a Christian man is shallow, then He is not acting from love, but out of lust. No one has the right to make anyone feel bad about themselves or to make them feel unwanted and unlovable for any reason.

      Is a fat woman less attractive than a thin woman? Certainly not! But these are the lies that the world would have you to believe.

      Lie 1: You are not worthy of my affection until you lose some weight. You are worthy of affection. Weight alone doesn't equal how lovable or "unlovable" you are. We live in a very shallow, evil, cruel and secular society that feeds on everything the media says.

      Pornography is a sin.

      Robert, shame on you for calling her Miss Piggy. This only proves my point how stupid some men can be. Would Robert like it if he was put down because of his looks, weight. etc. No!

      Men being visual creatures is only an excuse to justify shallow and cruel behavior like Robert's. While it's good to look presentable, you shouldn't allow anyone to beat up on you because you don't look like a supermodel. Men need to learn to grow up and stop dealing all the hate!

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      Stephanie Kjaerbaek 4 years ago

      If you want a thin woman to have four kids with, why? I would say a Russian tank would be better. That 'thin, hot, petite, tanned, toned' chick will be fat with flabby tissue, a protruding stomach that makes her look six months pregnant, covered in C-section scars, with stretch marks (real nasty ugly deep bleeding ones that look like a car accident/burn) from breasts to knees. The vagina will never be the same. There will be spider veins, flabby tissue, (no flat stomach), a bad back, saggy body parts, a hernia, constipation, hemorrhoids, vaginal scar tissue, episiotomies, shrivelled-up dry, saggy small breasts, baldness, melasma, bad acne, and an extra fifty pounds. Never really understood the point of picking out a 'thin, attractive' woman because 'of her genes' for 'making babies'. Why do men who like thin women want babies? She ain't going to be thin for the four pregnancies and a year or so after that, most likely never. Can't see the appeal of a thin woman pregnant four times to a man who is a 'visual creature'. What is visually appealing about destroying a good-looking woman's appearance? They also want women who 'eat like men' but 'look like Pamela Anderson'. I think not.

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      Stephanie Kjaerbaek 4 years ago

      If you want a thin woman to have four kids with, why? I would say a Russian tank would be better. That 'thin, hot, petite, tanned, toned' chick will be fat with flabby tissue, a protruding stomach that makes her look six months pregnant, covered in C-section scars, with stretch marks (real nasty ugly deep bleeding ones that look like a car accident/burn) from breasts to knees. The vagina will never be the same. There will be spider veins, flabby tissue, (no flat stomach), a bad back, saggy body parts, a hernia, constipation, hemorrhoids, vaginal scar tissue, episiotomies, shrivelled-up dry, saggy small breasts, baldness, melasma, bad acne, and an extra fifty pounds. Never really understood the point of picking out a 'thin, attractive' woman because 'of her genes' for 'making babies'. Why do men who like thin women want babies? She ain't going to be thin for the four pregnancies and a year or so after that, most likely never. Can't see the appeal of a thin woman pregnant four times to a man who is a 'visual creature'. What is visually appealing about destroying a good-looking woman's appearance? They also want women who 'eat like men' but 'look like Pamela Anderson'. I think not.

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      Gravekeeper67 4 years ago

      both over and under eating are equally unhealthy. Personally I prefer middle ground, somebody who doesn't look starved nor somebody who looks like a walking heart attack, somebody who looks healthy. Not saying that's all I look for because personality is equally important, its just what I prefer.

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      RobVult 4 years ago from Lexington, South Carolina

      Let me make a couple of points. I'm a Christian man who dates, I am widowed. I am not shallow because I date slim ladies, your personal anger shows somewhat there- e.g. we're bad if we don't date overweight, please, show me that in Scripture... I am free to date what I am attracted to, period. I have obese friends, I have overweight friends. I do not date overweight women as I am simply not physically attracted to them. That's ok, it's alright because you can't switch an on and off button re. what you are attracted to. I have an M.S. in Health, I workout six times a week, I eat no desserts. In summary I work hard in my fifties to be slim and I will not date an overweight lady. Sorry, it's a freedom I have and something I can not help, I am attracted to slim ladies, always have been, always will be. I have friends that are fat, it's cool.

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      debrajane 4 years ago

      It's been a few months since I read this post and added my two cents worth. I've now read the additional posts and it seems the opinions are still the same. I am also fat. I am also single. However, I am single by my own choice. I have a young daughter and I do not want to date until she is older. Whether skinny or fat, there are still too many weirdos out there to trust around her.

      Beside that point, I would like to add that I, personally, am attracted to larger men. And when I say larger, I mean over 250 lbs or more. I don't find thin attractive on men or women. I don't think starving yourself to look like some star or the idea of what "society" thinks is attractive is something a smart person would do. Looks are not important if you are happy with who you are. That happiness makes you beautiful, no matter what. Just my opinion.

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      jammy 4 years ago

      i'm fat ...the questn why im still single bought me to read this article..i agree men dont like fat women...

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      Jake 4 years ago

      Double standards galore. Just like all the women who rant and rave about equal opportunity... until the check comes.

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      Andrew 4 years ago

      Firstly, studies show that even fat women have more sex then skinny guys. Secondly, women are just as shallow and almost always care more about money or social status vs. character. In fact they are also shallow about looks. When I was fat I got no attention. Thirdly, well there is no thirdly actually.

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      Eeekamous 4 years ago

      That's not true. I see plenty of fat women as well as fat men who are dating or even in happy marriages.

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      KewlWriter 4 years ago from United States

      So much has already been said here but I would like to add something more. I grew up as a fat kid and was teased all my life. Yes, it was in my genes. Not gonna play the blame game but seriously wish my parents took better care of me and educated me about carbs, but they did not know any better either.

      We live in a shallow society, where people are revered for their external beauty all the time. I, like you, complain that guys don't wanna date me may be because I am too intelligent (PhD in Cyber security) and intimidate them, may be because I am a brown christian chick living in a conservative state, etc. But the fact of the matter is I am overweight. I am 5"2' and 155lbs. It's not obese but I can see so many beautiful girls around me and I know I will never pass that first look test of guys. Just like you, I thought Christian guys would not be as shallow but I discovered most of the times they are more critical and conservative when it comes to finding someone to date.

      Here, I must mention that I myself am a shallow creature and can't see myself going out with an overweight guy. I admit it I am shallow hence I am not a hypocrite. If an overweight girl like me doesn't wanna go out with a similar body type, why should I expect a normal guy to go out with me? That would be the mere definition of a double standard. Although, I must mention here that I've never been asked out by an overweight guy either. There's a running joke where I come from it goes something like - "All the guys run after Angelina Jolie and all the girls run after Brad Pitt". I think that is true in so many levels, everyone wants to be with a really attractive person.

      As they say "When in Rome, do as the Romans do", I've decided to get with the program and hire a personal trainer (when I have the money in a few months). I have hypothyroidism and its hella difficult to lose weight by myself and have struggled for ever, hence the idea of hiring someone to guide me seems to be something I have to at least give a shot. I've decided that instead of complaining, feeling bad, lonely and sad, I should become "one" of them, the ones the society finds acceptable to find a mate. Not only this, but it is high time I take care of my health too. So loosing weight would the optimal and logical solution to the conundrum that I face every day.

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      Liz 4 years ago

      I've been fat and I've been skinny. I grew up a skinny kid. When I'm skinny, men are all over me. When I'm fat, they are more scarce--if course!

      That's life.

      It may sound strange, but I don't like men all over me. I don't want every man I meet to want to have sex with me. I gained weight on purpose to keep men away. It is obnoxious to have strange men walk up to you on the street with a twenty dollar bill and accuse you of being a hooker.

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      Chris Ferguson 4 years ago

      I think the problem isn't men don't date big women, It just an insecurity factor that some men have within themselves. If you see that 300 lb woman and say No I don't want her then turn around a year to two later and she looks like a penthouse pet, you would have the change of though then want to go after her and end up her being taken by someone who appreciate her beauty both inside and out. So bottom line is that for us men, we need to learn and appreciate what a good woman she is. After all, there are skinny girls out there that treat you like crap and squash your heart like a grape.

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      JM 4 years ago

      The image of a 300-pound woman sitting in an easy chair, straining to reach her bag of potato chips, lamenting her woes with a tearful, snorted, "Men should just love me for who I am!" Why? Do you love the guy who's struggled with making a living most of his life? Do you give a chance to the guy who works hard but has a face like ten miles of bad road?

      I didn't think so. Your prejudices are justified. Ours make us pigs. Typical female.

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      Guest 4 years ago

      A woman should be able to enjoy physical activity, eat healthy, run up a flight a steps with out getting of breath, no addictions(including a food addiction), and maintain a healthy weight so we can both enjoy a long healthy life together.

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      debrajane 4 years ago

      Tim, the answer to that question is probably because people are cruel, as can be seen in some of these posts. Tall girls have probably been teased their whole lives because of their height and dating tall men means they will stand out less and not be teased again. A lot of behaviors are learned, even including who we date based on the results of past experiences.

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      Tim 4 years ago

      Okay then, why don't women date shorter guys then? It goes both ways. Many women unless they have an illness can lose weight. Short guys just can't get taller. Some women date shorter guys but not many.

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      debrajane 4 years ago

      I have to disagree with the OP. There are men out there who do find larger women attractive. Just as there are men who only find thin women attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are dating services for people who are attracted to larger men/women and they are very popular.

      What I find disturbing is how cruel and insensitive some of the posters on this hub have been. I agree everyone has the right to their own opinion and the right to voice that opinion. However, they do not have the right to do so in a cruel and rude manner. It doesn't hurt anyone to voice your opinion in a polite way. Just my opinion.

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      bbthumper 4 years ago

      I've read each and every one of these comments and have to say they have made me amazed, appalled, sympathetic, laughing, concerned and every other possible reaction. I personally can say I see both sides of the coin and also agree with most sides stated. First off let me start with, every single person is ALWAYS entitled to their personal opinion & preference! That does not make them arrogant, selfish or shallow nor does it make them correct or wrong.

      The big problem I'm seeing here isn't just being overweight/fat/obese but rather unhealthy and/or not sexy to another person. Is it possible to be "fat" and healthy and sexy? I say yes. Are all "fat" women/men healthy and sexy? I say NO. Would a normal guy or gal find a "fat" person sexier if they had a better self esteem and outlook on themselves and in turn appear sexier to the opposite sex? Probably! Why is that? because if they feel better about themselves they will put off a vibe usually makes others see you in a more positive light. BUT that will NEVER pertain to all people because whether I like it or whether any of you like it~ Some people just don't like fat women/men just as some people will never find skinny men/women attractive. This is just how the world is and that is what makes life so much more interesting.

      Now that's my 2 cents for the general idea of what I see going on in the world and in these comments. However, I would like to address a few specific comments made above. Some say, be more active or eat better and you will lose weight and be "more beautiful" then others say it could be genetics or a disease or an eating disorder. I have to say, I agree with the comments to tell someone to do those things, but I also understand those who still can't lose the weight. Now before you roll your eyes. I agree because whether you are 100 lbs or 300 lbs it will ALWAYS do you good to exercise and eat healthy whether you lose weight or not. BUT, for those of you condemning people for being fat saying this is all they need to do to be more "beautiful"~ that's a bunch of malarkey. They should do it to be healthier..PERIOD. I know skinny women & men who hate the way they look and have very low esteem because they can't have curves or gain weight or what not and that self loathing makes them not as beautiful. JUST as I know the opposite is true. Beauty will always be in the eye of the beholder. Healthiness and sexiness is in how you take care of yourself and how you present yourself to others.

      So you probably wonder how I can see both sides. Because I've not mentioned myself till now but can only say that I've been on both sides. I've finally after years & years of fighting this battle realize it is what you see in your self that matters. But more then that you still need to be healthy no matter if it helps or not. When I was younger I used to model. I was very thing and no curves. I did pretty well as a model and yet didn't' have a lot of friends. People thought I was arrogant. Reality was, I felt like crap when I saw myself in pictures & mirrors. I had people telling me I was getting curves and to diet more. The reality was I was gaining muscle from dancing & sports. Then I got older and had kids and battled health problems. I worked my rear off to lose the weight, but never focused on being healthy. I did lose it though, and gradually got more friends and became more socially outgoing and had no problems with guys. Then at the age of 35 I got pregnant again. Guess what I found out--it's not so easy to lose the baby weight at that age. I currently have a 2 year old and 2 teenagers and am overweight. I do zumba 1-2 hours a day 5-6 days a week. I do yoga twice a week and also work on weight training 2-4 days a week for an hour or two each time. My daughter loves going to the gym to play in the day care when I work out. I have been doing this since I had her and maybe have lost 10 lbs total in 2 years. I eat healthy, drink lots of water and have been to the dr's to make sure i have no genetic problem or disorder that is causing lack of weight-loss. The doctor told me.. you are over 35 & your metabolism is slower but there is nothing health-wise wrong with you and as a matter of fact are in perfect condition for years younger then what you are. I also must mention (with being overweight still) I have no problems at all attracting men who tell me I am sexy. However, I am now happily married and feel wonderful. I am healthy and over weight and beautiful AND SEXY and can run circles around many of my skinny friends (literally). Not all men will see me that way. But that's okay because my husband does and I know I am doing everything possible to be healthy and to take care of myself no matter what the scale says.

      The world today is just more focused on obesity because there is a lot of unhealthy eating and loss of exercise. And that's not going to change any time soon. So just remember, there are fat haters & skinny haters. If you can lose/gain weight great, if not then just be you and be happy with yourself and make sure above all you are healthy. The rest will come.

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      manufan1993 4 years ago

      no is not shallow ppl can't help it if they not attracted to them I no it's about personality shallow means you only go out with someone because there cute nothing else I wouldn't mind having an overweight friend I just don't date them it's about personality but not to sound shallow or anything but a little bit of attraction aswell

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      Trish 4 years ago

      I have to say I really appreciate the people who have been mature enough to stand up for the fat girls. Personally I get sick of everyone assuming fat girls just don't care. I was unfortunate enough that after spending a child hood as skinny as a twig at puberty I developed PCOS a disorder that puts your metabolism in the toilet and then at 22 to develop hypothyroidism further reducing my metabolism. This is all related to genetics I just happened to get the double whammy, one from each side of the family. I happen to be a very healthy eating vegetarian and have even gone so far as to try weight lifting 9 hours a week for 10 months to burn the fat. Without success no loss of inches, no loss of pounds. I'm even a nurse which results in the fact that I am always moving. Even my MD doesn't know what advice to give. There are a lot of women out there with these issues, we didn't give up, it's the lot we've been dealt and it would be nice if some people were a little more educated and understanding.

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      Mark 4 years ago

      Michael said , "I'm a very successful market broker, 6'3" tall, fit and considered to be handsome" He also claims to be married to a woman pushing 300 pounds.

      That's the beauty of the internet. If anyone calls you a liar, you will never have to provide proof. Michael, no one is buying your story. And like all people who get called out on the internet, you will most likely come back with the , " I don't have to prove anything to you" rebuttal. The transparency is not surprising.