Is Dating Multiple People Cheating?

Updated on March 26, 2014

Recently someone posed the question of whether or not it was cheating if someone was dating multiple people when there has been no discussion concerning being exclusive or committed.

The simplest definition for cheating is using deception and secrecy to break the rules.

If you aren't in an "exclusive relationship" then you are free to do as you please with whomever you want. Unless there has been a discussion which expressively states that neither person will date or have sex with others there is no commitment.


However it is not uncommon for people to replace communication with (assumption).

Case in point if a couple spends a lot of time together in person and on the phone/email/twitter it's very easy for either of them to (lull) themselves into believing they are in a "monogamous relationship" simply based upon the time they spend together. Should this individual discover this person is also dating or having sex with others they're likely to react as if they were "cheated" on.

The "betrayed person" feels the other person should have (told) them they were seeing others and the so called "cheater" feels like since they (never discussed) being "exclusive" or "monogamous" they did nothing wrong. Its two sides of the (lack of communication) coin. Both people made assumptions!

Length of Time Dating

Time is the slippery slope. If you met two new people earlier in the week and set up a date with one for Friday night and a picnic/beach date set for Sunday afternoon with the other; most people would say you're not under any obligation to inform them that you’re going out with others.

If someone were to ask if you were in a relationship/seeing anyone "special" you'd most likely reply by saying; "I'm dating but there is no one (special)." Very few people would consider your activities to be "cheating" even if you're dating multiple people.

On the other hand if you continued to date these two people for (two to three months) your friends are likely to ask if the two people you're dating know that you are "seeing" others. Most likely overtime you would have had an instance where you were asked by one of the people you were dating to go out when you had plans to be with the other.

Lying by Omission

This is where it gets very dicey because most people will not admit they have a date with someone else. "I'm going to be hanging out with my (friend), co-worker, brother/sister."

This is an act of dishonesty. Whether you've had the "exclusive talk" or not people expect you to be (honest) with them. The use of the word "friend" is used to imply that there is no romance/sexual activity or interest between you and the friend. This dissuades the person you're dating from thinking you are romantically involved with others. It's lying by omission.

Word Games

In the event the person you've been dating bumps into you kissing your "friend" odds are they will feel like you cheated (broke the rules) because you (deceived/lied) to them. This leads to you saying, "We never said we were (exclusive) and I never said whether or not my friend was a woman or a man....etc" In essence you are blaming them for being misled or "making assumptions". Therefore you’re still the "good guy".

Don't Ask/Don't Tell

Very few people tell the new person they're seeing at the (outset) that they plan to date others until they find Mr./Ms. Right or until they are ready to settle down. Neither party feels obligated to reveal their social/romantic activities. We don't want to know if we are competing with others and if we're dating others we don't want to risk the possibility of losing their interest by telling them we are dating other people. Therefore it's common for both people to have a "Don't ask, don't tell" policy during early dates. If a couple met online it is safe to assume that as long as their profile is available to be viewed by the public they're still "on the market" and open to receiving inquiries.

Perception is Reality

Nevertheless everyone wants to deal with honest people.Honesty is the cornerstone for all sincere friendships whether they be platonic or romantic.No one wants a "friend" that lies to them. Is dating multiple people and hiding/lying about it cheating? Lying and cheating go hand in hand. Perception is reality.

Is dating multiple people cheating if there's been no talk of exclusivity?

See results


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 months ago

      Friends with benefits is not a "dating relationship" per se.

      These people are generally friends who "hang out" but do not consider one another to be "the one".

      They're essentially having sex because it's convenient and they aren't in the mood to meet "new people". Low hanging fruit.

      Friends with benefits is just a one step above "booty call".

      The only real difference is people don't hang out with their "booty call" socially or bring them around their inner circle of friends, family, and co-workers.

      Friends with benefits is not a "committed relationship".

      It's considered a (temporary arrangement) until one finds what they (really want) in mate. As long as both people understand that no one should be hurt when someone finds what they want.

    • profile image

      Taurean 4 months ago

      Yes but friends with benefit is a new trend no matter you are committed or not

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 months ago

      Taurean, You are absolutely correct.

      Unfortunately there are a lot of people who either act like they are in a "committed relationship" or expect others to behave as though they're in a "committed relationship" with them without ever having a discussion about being {exclusive}!

      Making assumptions can lead to a lot of misunderstanding and sometimes (misplaced feelings) of betrayal or heartache.

    • profile image

      Taurean 4 months ago

      If you are single you can do this but ir you are comitted one thn you are cheating

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 months ago


      Cheating involves being in a "committed relationship" or "exclusive relationship" while secretly dating or seeing other people.

      Dating multiple people without being in an exclusive relationship is simply dating or trying to find "the one".

      Much like a company conducting interviews with multiple candidates prior to offering a position to the "right one".

      As long as someone hasn't made any promises to be exclusive no one should be making assumptions otherwise.

    • profile image

      Roosevelt jeffries 6 months ago

      Why people cheating on the people in the heart.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 months ago

      Bull, Thank for your comment.

      Actually in the U.S. 2.3 million weddings take place each year! Everyone has their own "mate selection process".

      For men it usually comes down to timing or not sensing (she) is "the one" for them. The average first time groom is age 29 and beyond. Men have never been in a rush! lol! :)

      The more selective one is about who they will commit to an exclusive relationship with odds are they're not going to go "all in" right away with any one person until they can determine if he or she is truly what they want in a mate.

      As noted in the article much like a company interviews (multiple candidates) to fill a key position. The goal is to find the right one!

    • profile image

      Bull 6 months ago

      And people wonder why men don't want to get married lol

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 13 months ago

      Not making "Assumptions" prevents a lot of heartache!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 13 months ago

      Honesty is very important in any relationship.

      Needless to say no one should expect a person to reveal everything or all their plans with a "stranger" or someone where they have just had a couple of casual dates with.

      Truth of the matter just because you went out with someone on Friday doesn't make you obligated to tell them you have another date planned for Saturday or Sunday. You're single!

      Until there has been a discussion regarding becoming "exclusive" no one should be making assumptions.

      It goes without reason if someone has an online dating profile odds are (you are not the only one) who has an interest her or him. Much like a company with a listing for a job; there will be other candidates vying for the position!

      Dating others is part of the "screening process" to choose a mate. It's not dishonest unless one lies or make promises.

    • profile image

      Papeeebooks 13 months ago

      Honesty is one of the cornerstones of any relationship. Being open with the person you are attracted to is always better than hiding things from him or her. It prevents a lot of heartache.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 17 months ago

      monii, Thanks for your comment.

      I believe we are essentially saying the same thing.

      You stated: "... it is cheating (unless you both agreed) to have an open relationship."

      I'm saying it's NOT cheating (unless you both agreed) to have a monogamous exclusive relationship!

      However my point is to avoid heartache it's important not to "assume" you are in an (exclusive relationship) without having "the talk"! This is a very common mistake people make.

      In both instances we're saying (communication) trumps assumption!

    • profile image

      monii 17 months ago

      Yes, it is cheating unless you both agreed to have an open relationship. If there was no discussion or agreement and the other person thinks they are the only one, then you are cheating.

    • Gypsy Hope profile image

      Gypsy Hope 2 years ago

      Well said, I agree completely, I couldn't have said it better myself!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Gypsy, Thanks for taking the time to read my hub and post a comment.

      "Once you establish ground rules, if you said it was not ok to date other people, then the person is a cheater." I completely agree with you.

      Unfortunately too often the accusations of being called a "cheater" or "player" are put on individuals long before the two people are a "couple" let alone "exclusive".

      If for example you had an online dating profile and agreed to go out with a guy on Saturday no one should call you a "cheater" if you also have champagne brunch with another guy on Sunday. You also shouldn't feel obligated to reveal your social calendar to a stranger.

      Unless you're in a relationship you are (free) to do as you please.

      I believe people often "make the leap" of monogamy long before a relationship has been established or before having a discussion about becoming exclusive. It would be scary if someone insisted upon that during the (first) date. It takes (time) to get to know someone before you feel like you're with the "right one". And then you want to know the feeling is (mutual).

      Dating is really akin to an interview process where one spends time getting to know multiple candidates before choosing "the one" to fill the position of their mate. Those who (rush) through the process are likely to find themselves getting emotionally invested with the wrong people.

      The dating process is all about conducting "due diligence".

      Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart.

      One man's opinion!:)

    • Gypsy Hope profile image

      Gypsy Hope 2 years ago

      This is a very good article. Don't ever quit writing, you are suited for it. Although I would not date more than one person at a time, I don't believe that is the rule for everyone. I believe that there needs to be communication, if you are in a relationship you must first establish, if you will... "ground rules" find out what the other person feels is right for them, tell them what is right for you, then see if you both can live with it, move forward from there. That will avoid confusion and hurt feelings. Once you establish ground rules, if you said it was not ok to date other people, then the person is a cheater. If you established that it is ok to see other people, then you can move forward from there, you can say, ok we have been seeing other people but it is getting serious now so I would like us to see only each other. Than at that point you both decide once more if you can continue or call it quits. Communication is key. You can not have a functional relationship of any kind without communication. Trust is built and earned, you can not have a relationship without it. If the person you are in any kind of relationship with lies to you, that is not a good relationship at all.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      I completely agree with you.

      However we presently live in a society that is so obsessed with cheating and "the appearance of cheating" that people are accused of it even when there has been no discussion of being exclusive.

      This is especially true of people meeting in online dating sites. Instead of assuming if a person’s profile remains “active” it means they have yet to commit to anyone people instead feel if they had a good date with him or her they’re “playing games” or “cheating” because they have another date with someone else. Never mind the fact that they aren’t in a relationship with this person!

      As I often tell others: think of yourself as being “Me, Inc.” looking to fill a high level position for your company. (Partner, mate, or possibly spouse)

      Every prospective employer interviews multiple candidates and narrows down the field with various milestones. When it comes to selecting a mate or possible spouse it makes sense to take your time to get it right.

    • stricktlydating profile image

      StricktlyDating 2 years ago from Australia

      I'm one who likes to keep my options open until in a truly committed relationship, and then give 100% to my relationship.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Audrey, Thanks for stopping by and posting a comment.

      I agree the young lady should have narrowed down the field to one once she became emotionally invested in one of the guys.

      It's unfortunate however that the other guy was willing to continue in an "undefined relationship" for a (long time).

      I wonder in her case if it was just a matter of one guy proposing while the other hadn't. Generally speaking before there is an engagement that usually means they professed mutual love between them.

      If she was saying "I love you" to one or both of them while dating two guys then she was "cheating" in my opinion. Thanks again for the comment!

    • brakel2 profile image

      Audrey Selig 2 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Hi Dashing - Great article. I know of a sad situation of a girl who managed to date two guys for a long time without any discussion. When she got engaged to one guy, the other one was shocked and heartbroken. I think that she should have been more honest. Anyway, she did end up with an unhappy marriage and divorce. The other guy was a genuine person. It does depend on the situation, and I believe you covered all circumstances. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Audrey Sharing

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      That's one of the reasons why it's important for two people to define their definition of "cheating". Lots of folks who are NOT in an "committed relationship" would not consider it cheating.

      Until there is a discussion regarding being "exclusive" it's best not to make the assumption the other person is only going out with you. This is especially true early on.

      Some people have back to back dates especially when they're searching for "the one" online. They may have a date on Friday with one person and another date on Saturday with a different person.

      I would hope very few people would consider that cheating.

    • chuckandus6 profile image

      Nichol marie 3 years ago from The Country-Side

      I would say is

      in my opinion.Although i always went after just one guy.i was.looking for the one,didn't find it right away

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      FreeHelpForFelons , Thanks for stopping by to read my hub and posting a comment. I'm not sure if I would call it not being "straight forward" during such an (early stage) of becoming acquainted with a stranger.

      It's not necessarily that someone is not interested in a commitment. They may very well could be "selective" about whom they commit with.

      One of the mistakes a lot of folks make is rushing into an exclusive relationship without determining if the other person has the "traits" they're looking for. I think (3 dates is a little early) to make a decision.

      Most companies would not make a job offer to a candidate until they find one who (meets their qualifications). In the mean time they would continue to conduct interviews with (other) prospects. Dating is performing due diligence.

      Having said the I do believe if you have been dating someone beyond a month especially if you're being physically intimate you don't want to mislead them into thinking you are in an exclusive relationship.

      Nevertheless it's also important that no one makes assumptions instead of expressing their desire to be in an exclusive relationship with you.

      The couple has to have " the talk" to define their relationship.

    • profile image

      FreeHelpForFelons 3 years ago

      This is an interesting topic . I guess it is if a person is not straight forward from the get go. I have always found that it is important to be straight forward and let people know at least after the 3rd date or before that I am just seeking friendships and not interested in any commitment. Good article it stimulated my mind.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      Michael, You made an excellent point. Sometimes the rejected person wants to exact some form of revenge. In the scenario you described it would be best to let the person you've chosen know that once the two of you decided to become an exclusive couple the other person became enraged.

      Having said that dating multiple people is not something recommended "long-term". It's not the same as having full on relationships. It' s (casual) dating.

    • profile image

      michael 3 years ago

      This articale is spot on true... But if you were dating two women for a period of time. Made a decision and the one that got left was so upset she went to the other girl to tell her that he was with her too. And making up that they were in fact in a relationship even tho there was no spoken commitment by any of them. I could go on but I'm just wondering. I do think this article is spot on and your responses are very true. Thank you.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      Actually in the U.S. most people expect to enter into an "exclusive relationship" BEFORE they become engaged.

      After a period of only seeing one another they determine if they want to marry.

      Very few men would propose to a woman who they thought or knew was seeing other guys. People expect exclusivity before they choose to marry.

      Unless there (is) a discussion to become "exclusive" dating multiple people is (not) cheating. Thanks for your comment!

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 3 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      it is common for dating multiple, not consider cheating unless you are engaged

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      Cheating is often in the eye of the beholder. Some people do not feel obligated to tell anyone they're dating that they are also dating others.

      In such a scenario if one of the men bumped into you with a date (he) might consider it cheating. However in reality there was no "exclusive relationship" and therefore it's not cheating! Making (assumptions) can lead to heartache.

      Thanks for leaving your comment. Have a Happy New Year!

    • profile image

      Stargrrl 3 years ago

      I agree with the basic message of this hub, but I date a lot of different men at the same time and I don't consider myself as cheating because I am exclusive with none of them.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      You're right, communication trumps assumption everyday!

      It's also important not to rush into an "exclusive relationship" before spending time to determine if it's what one really wants. Overcommitting too early leads to misunderstanding and hurt feelings when one changes their mind.

      A single person has the right to conduct "interviews" until they meet someone whom they feel is worthy of the position. The job is not yours until an offer has been made and you have accepted it! (vice versa) :)

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 3 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      I think it's important to establish healthy communication. Express your own expectations and desires.

      If the other person chooses to continue in the relationship, however you define it, then you both need to be playing by the same set of standards.

      You can't just assume that someone feels the same way you do.


    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      RanaKm, This is a tough one for a lot of folks to accept. However the reality is when is if a couple has not agreed to be "exclusive" then neither party should assume they are. People should never bypass "communication".

      Secondly you don't want to commit or be exclusive with someone whom you have not gotten to know well enough to make such a decision. Just like a company looking to fill a position you're entitled to interview multiple candidates until you find one you feel is qualified for the job.

      Lastly in this day of Online dating. It's not uncommon for people in search of finding "the one" to have a date on Friday with one guy/girl and another date on Saturday with a different guy/girl. As long as both profiles are active if there are any assumptions to be made it should be he or she considers them self to be still on the "open market". :)

      Thanks for your comment!

    • RanaKm profile image

      RanaKm 3 years ago

      I think it depends on the kind of date, if it seems serious and if the other person dates another person then it's cheating, I guess :) Interesting. Voted up :)

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      hunter sakura,

      The point I want to make is people should not assume they're in an "exclusive relationship" without having discussed and both people agreed to be in one!

      People generally aren't going to be rude and throw it in your face that they have another date planned for tomorrow night.

      Lastly no one should be entering into an "exclusive relationship" until they have invested time in getting to know the person!

      A lot of folks do the opposite. They want to "tie down" someone before they know them! Making hasty commitments positions you to appear like a liar or player once you realize you made a mistake in choosing them as your mate.

      Unless there has been a discussion about being exclusive assume they are continuing to "interview" other potential candidates for the role of their mate. There is a difference between "dating" and being in a "relationship".

      Thanks for stopping by and posting your comment!

    • hunter sakura profile image

      hunter sakura 3 years ago from Philippines

      Well I guess fair's fair.You just have to be upfront with the people you are dating because they might get the wrong signals.Some people may find it a major turn off to know that you are dating too many men/women aside from him or her.People will think you're just playing around and you're not in for any exclusive dating .

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      GlendaGoodWitch, Thanks for stopping by and posting your comment. I agree with you that women in particular see dating multiple people as "cheating" even if there has been NO talk of being exclusive or committed! Without communication both people are likely to (assume) the other person is on the "same page" that they are.

      Unless there is a commitment or agreement to be exclusive both people are in a position to (keep their options open). This frustrates a lot of new online daters. Oftentimes it causes them to rush/demand an exclusive relationship without having spent the time to know if this is the person they want settle down with! Whenever a company looks to fill a position they interview multiple clients. Finding one's ideal mate may require evaluating more than one person at a time before making a final selection.

      Having sex with multiple partners is risky behavior but I suppose (if) one diligently practices "safe sex" they're likely to avoid getting STDs.

    • GlendaGoodWitch profile image

      GlendaGoodWitch 3 years ago from California

      A very interesting topic. Most of the women I come in contact with believe its cheating to date two people at the same time. I find myself constantly reminding them that if nothing is said than more than likely the guy is dating other people.

      I don't really think it is a smart thing to sleep with more than one person at a time because diseases are likely to be quickly spread.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      midget38, Thanks for posting your comment.

      I tend to agree with you however I suspect what gets people upset is when they (assume) they are in an exclusive relationship and learn the other person is dating others. Without a commitment it's technically not cheating.

      It's understandable for someone to not want to reveal all of their weekend plans or dating activity to someone early on. After all they just met one another. It's the consistent dating/time together that throws people off. If someone wants an exclusive relationship they have to speak up.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      I would think that you have the right to pursue other options, though you should be as honest with each other.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      Relationshipc, I believe most people feel the way you do. Maybe it's human nature to mentally commit to someone based on our interest in them before there has been time to determine if the feelings are mutual.

      Communication is the GPS for dating and relationships!

      I simply wanted to remind people that if there has been no talk about being "exclusive" don't assume that your are and if you learn that you're not don't mislabel him/her as being a cheater. After all they made no commitment. Thanks for you comment!

    • Relationshipc profile image

      Kari 3 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      For me, as soon as I became interested in someone, other guys were off the table. I suppose it was the way I perceived dating, but the guys I were getting to know always seemed to do the same (that I know if anywase!) Basically, if a guy was getting to me and going out on dates with someone else, I would move on, even though he had no loyalty to me.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      ubanichijioke, Thanks for posting your comment.

      In the U.S.A. dating can mean two different things. A person might be asked if they're in a relationship and they might reply; "I'm dating but I'm not seeing anyone special." This means they aren't in an "exclusive" relationship with anyone and therefore would be open to going out with other people.

      The other definition for the word dating is when someone says they are dating a "specific individual". It's the equivalent of what teenagers call "going steady". Clearly it is implied that they are in an "exclusive relationship". However as I stated if you called a girl you last week took her out to dinner on Friday and then on Saturday you went out with another girl that would not be considered cheating but rather going out on "two first dates".

      Likewise neither woman would have to reveal to you what their plans are for the rest of their weekend. :-)

      Consistently dating one person it what can cause "assumptions" that one is in an (exclusive) relationship even if they've never discussed it.

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 3 years ago from Lagos

      I love the way you explained things here. However, I still don't understand how someone could date without spelling out the terms. What is the essence of dating then? People date for a reason - to start a meaningful relationship. I doubt how one could date multiple persons unless it is not actual dating cos dating involves emotions. Unless for the sake of folly then could a person change different guys/girls in a marathon game of emotions just for dating sake. It's only people with low mentality that engages in such. So the answer is a loud YES!

      If a person is dating another and still engages others (men/women) in a dating spree, it is pure folly! I never heard of that before though. But I will call it cheating.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      MsDora, Thanks for your comment. Dating today has become very much like job hunting for a lot of people. They conduct multiple interviews prior to making a final selection. I believe online dating and social media has changed the nature of courtship forever. Even Christians, seniors, and various other niche groups have their own dating sites.

      People would rather (assume) they're in an "exclusive relationship" than to risk appearing too "clingy" by stating they want to be exclusive early on. Making assumptions is probably the number one cause for heartache when people meet online.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 4 years ago from The Caribbean

      I cannot handle multiple dating, but it has to do with my orientation.

      In the culture I grew up in, the only way you could enjoy the company of more than one member of the opposite sex is if you hung out in groups. For me, multiple dating is suspect. You make a very important point about not assuming.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      As my mother use to say: "If it ain't worth asking for then it ain't worth having." There are lots of women in long-term relationships of 3-5 years who want to get married but silently are awaiting for their man to propose to them. None of these women are willing to propose to the man or ask for what they want!

      Fear keeps a lot of people from asking for what they want in life.

      To them I say if there's been no "exclusivity discussion" don't assume you're in an (exclusive) relationship. Thanks for your comments!

    • baybpnk profile image

      Nicole 4 years ago from Michigan (the Mitten), United States

      I have been in situations like these, it's not difficult to ask or say what you want if you REALLY want the other person to know. If it scares them away, then good riddance. If they stick around and are willing to have the discussion like a grown up, then good. This is me personally, though. Not everyone has the nerve to feel this way or JUST SAY IT as I always say.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      baybpnk , You're right it's a challenge to come up with the (right) words without potentially offending the other person.

      Essentially it is as if you were a company looking to fill a position and "dating" is equivalent to your "screening process". You're having phone interviews and face to face interviews....until you offer the position of your mate to someone.

      The only difference is when we're seeking employment we are keenly aware that the company is continuing to receive (other) resumes and they are conducting interviews with others. We never (assume) we got the position until there is a "formal offer". We don't accuse the company of cheating.

      As you stated "communication" is the key. However there are some who do not want to be the "first" person to bring up the (lets be exclusive) conversation. In fact I can recall years ago a woman asked me, "What are we?" instead of telling me; "I want an exclusive relationship with you."

      I imagine there are a lot of people (waiting) for the other person to "define" the relationship or (ask them) to be exclusive rather that communicating what is (they) want. As they silently watch the days, weeks, and months roll by it's only natural for one of them to "assume" they're in a "exclusive relationship" eve if there has been no discussion.

    • baybpnk profile image

      Nicole 4 years ago from Michigan (the Mitten), United States

      I could not think of another way to put it other than "hanging around." Dating would be the right term if it was clear that it didn't mean anything other than seeing what is out there (to everyone). Once again, it's just all about communication.

      "I'm not looking to be with any one person."

      "I don't want to be IN a relationship, but I want to see you. And other people."

      Or, how about this:

      "I want to be with one person, but I'm not sure if it's you."

      "I want to be with you and no one else."


    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      baybpnk, Thanks so much for your comment.

      I agree that the most important thing is for two people to communicate what they want or how they'd like to see things develop between themselves. Very often on one wants to be the first to bring up the topic and this is especially true of women. They're afraid of coming off as being pushy or desperate. However just as you pointed out there are many men who would simply just go with the flow and never "ask" a woman to be their "girlfriend". This creates the potential for some serious misunderstanding down the road when one or both make "assumptions". I'm not if there's a magic number of dates or if one's feelings dictate when it's time to have "the talk".

      Nevertheless must disagree with you regarding online dating. If a (grown) man asks a woman out to dinner, a concert, a play, or attend some other event he sees it as going out on a "date" and not just "hanging around". Most people in their 30s, 40s, and beyond would never look at a (one on one) evening out with a person as "hanging around." Maybe that is a generational thing.

      Every dating situation begins with meeting new people whether it be online or offline. You generally get to know each other a little bit in person, over the phone, via email, and eventually someone invites the other to go out indicating they're attracted or romantically interested.

      Women like men have been known not to view "dating" as being in an "exclusive relationship". I've heard of women saying, "I don't see any rings on my finger." In other words they feel free to do whatever they want. LOL

    • baybpnk profile image

      Nicole 4 years ago from Michigan (the Mitten), United States

      I'm just going to point out the Obvious (to women because men don't know this) problem with this wording. "Dating" and "in a committed relationship" kind of mean the same thing to women. In the situation of online dating you described, that is not dating, that is more like meeting new people and hanging out. However, once you hit the second or third date, it becomes the beginning of a relationship to women. For a man, I suppose it is when he asks her to be his girlfriend, if he ever would.

      I saw (regrettably) the movie That Awkward Moment, and in the beginning some girl "breaks up" with Zac Efrons character. He voices over saying "I didn't even know we were dating. I mean, we hook up a lot, but that's about it." Many differences between men and women, and communication and being clear with one another is the best way to go about any "dating" situation to make sure you are both (or all) are on the same page. =)

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      DDE, I'm not sure if you're saying being single and not in a "committed relationship" is cheating if you go out with more person or if you believe (misleading) someone constitutes cheating.

      For example lets say you posted an online dating profile today and two men responded to it and wanted take you out for lunch or dinner. Clearly there is no relationship established with either at this point. Would you feel obligated to tell them you will be going out on dates with others?

      Thanks for your comment!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      It is cheating you are not being true to yourself or the other person. Dating should be between two people unless you have decided together with your partner you choose to see other people it cheating.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: ""

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)