Fresh perspective on dating issues compiled in consultation with friends in North America, Australia and African nations.
Are you hoping a special girl likes you, but don’t know how to tell if she is really interested in you? Are you looking for hints to tell you what she's thinking? What does it mean when she keeps touching her hair? This article provides 26 things to look for to help you decide if a girl likes you.
26 Ways to Know If a Girl Likes You
1. She likes talking to you.
She's eager to have a conversation and stays engaged with you once she's comfortable.
2. She laughs at what you say.
Belly laughs are better than giggles, and it's even better when you're both laughing together.
3. She's afraid to meet your eyes.
Some girls are afraid to be caught looking at you if they like you. (Others might confidently meet your gaze—watch to see if her pupils are dilated.
4. She notices you.
This might take different forms depending on the girl and the situation.
5. She licks her lips.
This is, of course, especially significant if it's not hot out.
6. She smiles at you.
It should be one of those real smiles — the one that makes her eyes crinkle up.
7. She doesn't like you flirting with other girls.
She may react openly, or she might just slip away so she doesn't have to watch.
8. She hugs you.
This could take many forms, but just notice if she's trying to get close to you.
9. She touches you.
Maybe she lightly hits you or touches your clothing.
10. Her friends give you clues that she likes you.
Watch for their reactions like giggling or sudden silence if you approach, or notice if they ask you what you think about their friend.
11. She seeks you out to talk to.
Maybe she lingers around you when other people are leaving.
12. She develops interests in your interests.
Has she started listening to your favorite music, or watching your favorite sports teams?
13. She blushes around you.
This happens not once, but many times.
14. She plays with her hair around you.
This could be an unconscious sign that she's imagining you playing with her hair.
15. She bumps into you frequently.
This could be a sign that she wants you to start a conversation with her.
16. She shows off her body.
Does her posture or clothing seem to indicate that she's looking for your attention?
17. Her arms are relaxed or wide when she's talking to you.
Crossed arms is a sign of being closed off.
18. She breaks away from conversations with her friends to talk to you.
This is a great sign that she's into you.
19. She compliments you when you're looking good.
If she notices how you're dressed or changes in your clothing, it's a good bet she likes you.
20. She hints that she's single.
Or she might ask you if you are single.
21. She's down to hang out.
She says yes quickly if you suggest plans and might even suggest plans of her own.
22. She opens up to you.
If she's telling you about problems she doesn't usually talk about, that shows she trusts you a lot.
23. She talks about doing something in the future with you.
Maybe she mentions seeing a movie or a show in a month or so. You're on her mind!
24. She follows you online and likes your posts.
If she's posting stuff and tagging you in it, that's definitely a good sign.
25. She puts away her phone when she's with you.
This shows she's trying to give you her full attention.
26. You text frequently.
If you're texting regularly, and she's initiating too, then she probably likes you. Especially if you're texting at night.
1. She Likes to Talk to You
Start a conversation with her. If she is happy to chat with you, that's a good sign. Some couples just click from the time they start talking and can talk for hours.
If she's nervous, she might have trouble speaking up. Give her a chance to become comfortable with you. Ask her questions and wait for her to answer. She might need some time to collect her thoughts.
The danger signs are if she looks bored or simply answers your questions with a shrug. Or, even worse, if she grabs hold of a passing friend and allows herself to be dragged away.
2. She Laughs at What You Say
If a girl likes you, she'll laugh in all the right places.
- Hopefully she genuinely finds you amusing and isn't just working hard to encourage you. But even if she is trying a little too hard, that's okay. She obviously believes you are worth the effort.
- Some girls get the giggles when they are nervous.
But here's the kind of laughter you definitely want to look for . . .
- The full belly laugh you both share.
You know the kind. You're both laughing so hard you are almost crying. You feel as though you're about to split in half. The two of you share moments that are simply irresistibly funny.
Others around you think you're both crazy, but the hearty chuckles make perfectly good sense to the two of you.
3. Something Interesting Happens When Your Eyes Meet
A girl who likes you may shy away from looking at you directly. If your gaze meets, she blinks and turns her eyes away. She is not comfortable being caught looking at you. This kind of girl won't want to be seen as 'chasing' you. She waits for you to make the first move and approach her.
But some women speak through their eyes. Lucky you if your gaze connects with a woman whose eyes sparkle and invite you to come and say hello. A confident girl will directly hold your attention for longer than you'd expect before looking away.
If you're making extended eye contact with a woman, that is definitely a positive signal.
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4. She Notices You
A girl who really likes you will at least acknowledge that you exist. Even if she's extremely shy, she'll find a way to let you know that she knows you're there.
If a girl completely ignores you, she has no interest in you. But is she really ignoring you, or is she sending you a quiet message that's she's noticed you but doesn't know how to react?
Here's some examples of how a girl who likes you might behave if she's really shy:
- She's with a group who engage you in conversation, but she stays quiet.
- She nods, or smiles. Just quickly, but it is a definite nod or smile in your direction.
- There's a sudden interruption (or end) to her activity as soon as she sees you. Perhaps she stops singing, or dancing, or talking.
Yes, she's noticed you. She's definitely not ignoring you, or she'd just carry on whatever she was doing without missing a beat.
5. She Licks Her Lips
I'm sure you'd like to think that licking her lips is an action that should be interpreted to mean she'd love to kiss you. And yes, she might be dreaming about you kissing her. But don't get too excited just yet.
Licking her lips could simply be a sign of a dry mouth. But you have to wonder—why is her mouth so dry? If it is not an incredibly hot day and she's not just finished running a marathon, I'm guessing she's nervous.
So there's a good chance she likes you.
6. She Smiles at You
A girl who smiles at you likes you. There's occasionally exceptions to this rule, like the girl who hopes to win some kind of popularity contest and smiles at everyone. But most girls don't bother smiling at someone they don't like.
A shy girl might not grin widely. Her smiles may be brief, but she certainly looks pleased to see you. Sometimes her smile is more in her eyes, rather than plastered on her face.
7. She Doesn't Like You Flirting With Other Girls
A girl who likes you will be uncomfortable if you flirt with other girls. Nobody likes competition. She might react openly, or may just slip away so she doesn't have to watch you giving another girl attention.
Be warned before you flirt with other girls that it might backfire. If you seem to fancy yourself as a ladies' man, she might lose interest in you. How can she trust a boyfriend who is quick to flirt with other girls?
8. She Hugs You
Does she hug you at every opportunity? We only hug people we like. Hugging you could be an excuse to get closer to you and experience the feel of your body.
Perhaps she likes you but can't tell you with words. It may be easier for her to use other strategies like hugging you and making herself very close to you.
Hugs come in different forms. Some girls just wrap themselves around boys they like. It can be a welcoming hug when you cross paths in the street or at the mall. But other girls are more likely to wrap a soothing arm around your shoulder. For instance, if you are seated and struggling with a problem on your computer. She may lean over and give you a shoulder hug, reassuring you that you can solve the problem.
9. She Finds Ways or Excuses to Touch You
She will always find many excuses to touch you or feel your body. Does she touch you when she is sitting next to you? That's a clear hint she's attracted to you. She wants to come closer to you and there is no better way or method for her than touching you on the arms or the hair.
She may pretend to remove an imaginary thing from your arm or hair. Perhaps she brushes crumbs from your chest.
Some girls give light-hearted slaps. Others grab your arm with excitement. If she's touching you, she likes you.
10. Her Friends Give Clues That She Likes You
Her best friends will know if she likes you. Look to them for clues. What do her friends do when you are around? How does she react with her friends?
- Do her friends glance at you as you approach?
- Do they smile when you approach them?
- Are her friends seeming to tease her?
- Does she look cross, as though she's afraid one of them might tell you she likes you?
- Have any of her friends asked you if you like her?
Best friends can give lots of subtle clues she likes you.
16 More Hints a Girl Likes You
11. You will learn from her body language if she likes you or not. If she's mirroring your movements, sitting closely to you, finding reasons to touch you, or fidgeting a lot, then she probably likes you.
12. She will get interested in things you do or like. For instance if you are a fan of Manchester United, she will also develop an interest in that team.
13. You will see her blushing in your presence. This happens not once but many times
14. Does she play with her hair when you are around her? If yes, that is an unconscious sign that shows her interest in you. She may be imagining you caressing or playing with her hair.
15. When you are sitting or having a rest somewhere, you will find that she will walk past you a couple of times. Maybe she is trying to get your attention. She wants you to be attracted to her and is probably waiting for you to take the first step and start a conversation with her.
16. She may lean back in a chair or sofa in order to protrude or display her chest area. She will show you 'what you are missing'. That is a sure sign that she likes you and she wants you to fall for her. She is just waiting for you to approach her.
17. Her arms are open wide when she is talking to you and that could be interpreted to mean 'I’m open for you.' In other words it’s a sort of unconscious way to encourage you to approach her.
18. She will break from her friends and come to where you are. When she is having a conversation with friends and she sees you approaching or in a nearby place, she will break from her friends and come to where you are. She wants to be closer to you at all times and that is a sure sign that you impress her.
19. She compliments you whenever you are dressed nicely or she sees you in designer clothing. She always likes to see you looking good.
20. Does she talk about a relationship she had in the past, making it clear that it ended and she is feeling lonely now? If yes, she is probably attracted to you. Don't assume that she's still obsessed with her ex-boyfriend. Consider it an invitation to take his place.
21. She suggests hanging out with you or doesn't hesitate to say yes when you suggest that you two hang out. If she's down to hang out when you suggest something and doesn't even check to see if she's busy, that's definitely a good sign that she's into you.
22. She's opened up to you, maybe telling you about something personal in her life or a problem she's dealing with. Being vulnerable often creates a feeling of intimacy, and girls won't do it with someone they don't really trust.
23. She talks about going to something in the future with you—maybe she mentions that you should go see a movie or a concert together in a month or so. This is a really good sign!
24. She's followed you on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat—and she likes your posts frequently, or posts stuff on your wall that reminds her of you. If you're sending each other Snapchats frequently or posting back and forth, there's definitely something going on.
25. She puts away her phone when she's with you. When a girl gives you her full attention and focuses solely on you, that's a good signal that she's really interested in making a good impression on you.
26. You text frequently (and she initiates too). Regular texting is a sign of friendship and interest. This is especially true if she texts you out of the blue just to find out how you're doing.
Need More Help or Information?
I was asked the other day if I mind answering questions from guys who are still trying to tell if a girl likes you. Truth is, I don't mind. But you'll have to leave a comment and be prepared to wait a few days if I'm busy (because I do have a life.)
Be prepared for me to be honest with you. You just have to read the existing comments to see I'm not going to just tell you everything is great and you're destined for success. If I'm going to the effort of answering you, I will be honest.
Life is complicated. If you need help to figure out if a girl likes you, that's normal and okay. Sometimes you just need encouragement or a second opinion, so go ahead and ask me your question if you like. A few clues are always helpful, like your age. But don't give me your full name or hers. Have a bit of tact and discretion. I try to delete comments that will cause people embarrassment in the future if they're seen by others.
To the guy who asked if I'll answer all the questions from his friends if he puts a link to this article on his facebook page, my answer is the same. I'll answer questions if any guy wants more help or information when trying to decide if a girl likes you (but not necessarily reply to people who just leave general comments). There just might be a bit of a wait if I get flooded with questions when I'm busy doing other things.
So, sure. Leave a comment. Ask a question. I'll give you and your friends my honest opinion in the hope that it helps.
Questions & Answers
Question: What if she shows signs one day, but the next she doesn’t? When I am not showing interest she shows interest. What does that mean?
Answer: You've asked so I'll tell you what I think. She sounds like she's playing games with you. Either she's deliberately messing with you, or she's not yet sure exactly what she wants.
So what does that mean? It means you'll be pulling your hair out if you have to put up with her hot/cold, on/off behavior for much longer. I'm thinking you should ignore her and look for someone who is much easier to get along with. Imagine what a hassle it would be to have a long-term relationship with a girl who is so unpredictable.
I think you can do better.
Question: What do I do if I think a girl likes me, but I'm not quite sure?
Answer: Be brave and talk with her. Say "hi" every time you pass each other. She’ll either reply, or she’ll ignore you. If she answers you, she likes you enough to acknowledge your existence. That’s a start.
Then become braver and actually start proper conversations with her. You won’t know if she really likes you until you get to know each other a bit better. So make an effort to get to know her and let her learn more about you too.
Question: How can you tell if she likes you as more than just a friend?
Answer: There’s one really obvious way to establish if she’s interested in being more than just friends: be romantic with her. Treat her as though she’s more special than just a friend. You’ll pretty quickly be able to tell if she shares your interest in being more than just friends.
Or simply ask her. If you are already friends, you should be able to ask her if she thinks the two of you might become ‘more than just friends in the future.’
Question: How do I know if a girl really wants me?
Answer: If a woman really wants you, she’ll find a way to let you know. The truth is, there’s a good chance what you want is not the same thing as what she wants.
Communication is the key.
Question: The barwoman at my local pub laughs at my jokes even when they're not that good. She also takes gives me snacks out of the blue. Does she like me?
Answer: A bartender's job is to make customers feel happy and welcome, so they will often laugh at jokes that aren't funny. From what you've told me, it sounds like she's a nice lady who is doing her job. It doesn't sound like she particularly likes you any more than she likes any other customers.
But if you like her, why don't you ask her if she'd like to go out for a meal with you sometime? I suspect she'll either say that sounds like a good idea or she'll make an excuse why that wouldn't work. Either way, you'll have your answer.
Question: How do I know for sure if a girl likes me?
Answer: A girl can like a guy in many different ways, in a manner of 'degrees' if you like. At first, you just need her to like you enough to talk with you. That's your starting point. The easiest way to know for sure she likes you enough to talk is to make an effort to start conversations.
In this article, I listed 26 clues that a girl likes a guy. If you couldn't find any that match your situation, you have a pretty big challenge ahead of you, but there's no reason why you shouldn't speak to her and see if she's willing to chat back.
But you need to remember she might not like you because she doesn't know you. If you want her to like you, it will take some effort to make contact and give her a reason to think you are likable. It will probably take quite a while before you know for sure.
Question: What should I deduce if she does all the things mentioned above, but doesn't understand what to do because she is scared as it is happening to her for the first time?
Answer: Your question is a little creepy. My straight up answer is 'back off.' Either she's too young to be going out to a movie or skating or bowling ... or you are expecting her to become intimate with you, which is way out of line.
This is a list to give clues about whether or not a girl likes a guy. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm here to tell you that a girl liking a guy means she's interested in spending time with him to get to know him. It doesn't mean she wants to instantly make out with him, sleep with him or let him be anyway 'intimate.'
Forget about her 'not understanding what to do' because she's scared and 'it is happening to her for the first time.' That's not the problem. I think you're the one who doesn't understand. So let me make it clear:
If she's not ready to go out with you at all, then back off. Maybe when she's older, she might think you seem like a good guy to date. Or maybe she won't, so don't hold your breath. Just find another girl to ask out.
But if you're trying to get her to kiss you or let you grope her or whatever, and she's obviously not consenting to your advances, then you should certainly back off.
Just because you want a girl to do something, doesn't mean it is going to happen. If you don't learn to respect that a girl has a right to say 'no' for any reason at all, you'll be facing sexual assault charges before you're much older.
So, in answer to your question, you should 'conclude' that you're making a big mistake and need to change your attitude. This is real life, man, not some teenage movie where guys get to grope girls and go home when the credits roll. Treat women with respect, and you'll have a happy life because sooner or later you'll find one who wants to get intimate. But you have to wait to find the right girl. This girl is not the one.
Question: I’ve been speaking to this girl I know for a long time. I speak to her at times late at night for hours. We speak about lots of stuff, and she has taken an interest in a series I watched and finished it in 2 days. Still, I don’t know what to do next. To be honest, I’m scared to ask her out directly. Is there a way I can do it subtly?
Answer: Sure. Keep an eye out for a movie with a similar theme to the tv series you both enjoyed, then suggest you both go see the movie together. Or ask her to help you on a shopping expedition if you need to buy a present for your mother or sister or granny's birthday. (Bit late for Christmas now. Drat.) Tell her you have trouble spotting good gifts for girls so you need her opinion.
If you have some cash to spare and she seems really interested in some particular item, you could ask her if she would like that kind of gift if someone gave it to her ... and then buy it and give it to her.
There's bound to be lots of places you could invite her to, without making it a formal date for dinner. If you speak for hours late at night, surely you can tell her you're going to the football or the markets or you'd like to go tenpin bowling, and ask her if she wants to come with you. Just slide it into the conversation.
Question: What happens if the girl looks at me and she is happy when we look at each other?
Answer: What happens next is up to you. You either talk with her and start learning more about each other so you can figure out if you like each other ... or you don’t.
Question: Should I directly go to her and ask "Do you like me?"
Answer: I think asking a girl "Do you like me?" is pretty lame, to be honest. It puts her in a really difficult position. If she’s polite, she might not want to hurt your feelings and just say yes when she doesn’t really mean it. Or maybe she likes you just as a friend.
And even if she does like you, she may well say ‘no’ because she thinks it is some kind of trick question or she fears rejection or is shy. So even if you did ask her, you wouldn’t know if her answer is sincere or not.
Much better, I believe, to just ask her if she’d like to have lunch together or hang out sometime. If she’s interested, she’ll probably say yes.
Or if you’re brave enough, to be honest, and want her to know how you feel, you could tell her you like her and see what she says. Hopefully, she’ll say ‘I like you, too.’
It seems unfair to expect her to be the first to say how she feels. If you like her, tell her. She might not have considered you as a potential boyfriend before, but she’ll at least give it some thought if she knows you like her enough to approach her.
Question: In my school, it's very hard to tell if people are being friendly or are being flirtatious because they are very cold. Sometimes girls start conversations with me and seem to be attracted. Are they at least a little attracted to me?
Answer: If girls are starting conversations with you, they are definitely showing interest. Nobody bothers chatting with someone they really don’t like. I suggest you make an effort to continue the conversations and take it as an invitation to approach the same girls and start more conversations yourself. You’ll become more confident and get to know them better the more you talk with them.
Question: How can I know if a girl whom I met in the past is still thinking about me?
Answer: You’re obviously thinking about her, so just ask her. Ring her up or visit her and say "Hi, remember me?"
Question: How do I know if a girl I have been best friends with since birth likes me?
Answer: Why not just be honest? Tell her you like her, and ask her if she thinks that’s weird ... or if she thinks it might be fun to date each other and see how things work out.
I had a crush on a friend from early childhood but I never actually voiced how I felt. We stayed friends for a long time but eventually grew apart. I’m perfectly happy where I am now though. So give it s go if you want to, but if it doesn’t work out with your best friend, don’t worry. If it turns out she’s not the one, you’ll find the perfect girl for you some day.
Question: What does it mean when a girl’s friends ask her crush to ask her to dance with him at the prom and he agrees immediately?
Answer: I’m guessing he likes dancing and he thinks the girl is okay. How much he likes her is hard to tell.
The girl should figure that out for herself by talking with him and seeing if they get on well together.
Question: There is a girl in 8th grade, and we like each other. I want to ask her out, but she is in a relationship. What should I do?
Answer: I suggest you tell her you'd like to take her out sometime, so you want her to let you know when she breaks up with the other guy. Just state it clearly like that so there's no suggestion of her going out with you behind his back.
If you want to be a bit softer about your approach you could say 'if' you break up with the other guy. But personally, I'd say 'when' you break up with him.
Question: I have been giving signs to my colleague that I'm interested in her and I guess she has noticed it too. Recently she told me that things ended with her boyfriend. We don't text but we talk with one another everyday at work (nothing related to work). What's the next step I should take?
Answer: This could go either of two ways, so I’ll lay them out here and leave you to make the decision.
1) If you wait too long to ask her out, she might be disappointed and think you weren’t sincere in your affection.
2) If you move too quickly, she might not be ready, which could be awkward.
I’m thinking the best way to approach her is to ask her if she’d like to catch a movie with you or go for a coffee (in a nice place) ‘after work one day’. Her answer should tell you what you need to know.
Because the two of you already talk a lot, I’m confident she will be happy to either respond with enthusiasm or tell you she’s not interested in going out.
Ask her quickly, though. If she’s broken up with her boyfriend in the hope you’ll ask her out, she’ll be watching for your next move.
If it is just coincidence that you like her at the same time as her previous relationship ended, I think you’ll get the message.
Make the offer in a friendly way. Don’t call it a ‘date’. But treat her well and see how close she gets to you when you are out. Look for clues when you’re together outside of your work environment.
Question: There's a girl at my school that I like and I think she likes me too. I'm having trouble being able to talk to her. Do you have any ideas?
Answer: Take the pressure off yourself. You don't need to talk to her about how you feel. You just need to talk to her. So start by asking her what her favorite subjects are. What does she do on weekends? That kind of stuff. Tell her about TV shows you've seen and ask if she's seen them too.
We all like it when someone expresses an interest in us, so general conversation that allows you to get to know her better is a great place to start.
Question: She has a boyfriend and I don't talk to her much. She makes sure I see them all the time. What does it mean?
Answer: To me, it means you're wasting your time if you think she's going to dump her boyfriend any time soon. If she was really interested in you, I think she'd be trying to catch up with you when her boyfriend wasn't around. So I think she's happy with the guy she's with now and you should be considering finding a different girl.
Once you let go of the dream of being with her, you will start noticing the good qualities in other girls. Maybe sometime in years to come, you might get to talk with the current girl, and things might change, but I don't see any reason to waste your life hanging around for her right now.
Question: I know a girl that likes me but I don't know how to approach her. What should I do?
Answer: Walk up and say ‘hi’. Ask her, ‘What’s news?’ and continue the conversation from there.
If she says, ‘Nothing’ or ‘Not much’, be ready with some news of your own. For instance, ‘I’ve just heard ... (whatever)’ and give her time to respond.
If the conversation doesn’t flow easily, just smile and say ‘Got to go. See you later.’
Then do the whole thing again when you next see her. And again and again.
If she’s interested but just shy, she’ll have a chance to think up some ‘news’ before she sees you again.
Question: How can you get a boy to like you?
Answer: Here's another article I wrote that might help you: https://hubpages.com/dating/How-you-can-Impress-A-...
Question: What if I am interested in a girl who is 16 years younger than me. I know her through work. I do the maintenance at the property but she is a tenant. What do I do if pursuing my love interest is risking my job?
Answer: Keep your job. Wait until she’s moved out and then maybe contact her via Facebook. But if you’re 16 years older, there’s a good chance she’s not interested. So I think you should be looking for someone else to date.
© 2012 Daniel Long