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Ideas for Wholesome Companionship Without Commitment

MsDora, former teacher and Certified Christian Counselor shares tips for smooth relationships with friends and encounters with strangers.

As ridiculous as it may sound, sometimes all any of us needs in life is for someone to hold our hand and walk next to us.

— James Frey

Man and woman on a Malvern Star abreast tandem bicycle around 1930.

Man and woman on a Malvern Star abreast tandem bicycle around 1930.

It is lawful to have companionship without commitment, when the only goal is companionship. The relationship may be short term or long term, circumstantial or intentional, with no interest in physical intimacy or any other gestures which belong in a committed marriage relationship. It is friendship for friendship’s sake. Some young adults are not ready for a commitment, while some seniors have been there, done that and prefer not to do it again. And some people between the young and the seniors would be eligible if it were not for social, educational and financial reasons like those listed below.

Some Reasons for Not Committing

  • Without steady employment, many men are either unwilling to commit, or have difficulty finding women who want to commit to them.
  • Economic independence of women makes them less willing to marry.
  • Some adult children of divorced parents would rather avoid the disaster they witnessed.
  • Some simply never meet someone to whom they would like to make a lifetime commitment.

Meanwhile, every healthy heart longs for company—sometimes. Companionship offsets loneliness, provides a listener when it is necessary to vent, guarantees feedback when it helps a situation, feeds the sense of worth and the sense of belonging. Rather than deny the benefits of companionship in the absence of a mate, singles can enjoy them together.

Following are four ideas for companionship which they can enjoy regardless of age or gender.

(1) Be Open to Companionship Opportunities

Talking, laughing, spending time with good company promotes good health and a sense of well-being. Companionship can bring pleasure with someone who shares similar interests, someone who offers a mutual exchange of ideas, or someone who just seems like a good candidate for friendship. It is not necessary to evaluate each other as possible mates. Just enjoy the present.

Older singles will appreciate the following advice from Eduardo Porter, NY Times Writer:

"You don’t have to marry the guy to enjoy his company over a lunch. He can be younger than you, less well educated, have less money, and still be fun to hang out with. The partner standards one had in youth need to change as you yourself have done."

If the first meeting was fun, another one can be scheduled to see whether meetings can become regular. Or if there was no enjoyment, they can plan to meet with different individuals the next time. That’s companionship without commitment.

Man and woman eating lunch at a small restaurant table.

Man and woman eating lunch at a small restaurant table.

(2) Schedule Regular Companionship Events

Sometimes the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right people.– Nicholas Sparks

As singles begin to enjoy each other’s company, they may want to spend time together regularly. Weekly, bi-weekly or monthly events can be scheduled according to their availability. Here are some ideas for regular companionship events.

  • Plan a Sunday brunch and spend time together preparing the food.
  • Visit a museum or any interesting historical site.
  • Play electronic games or share a skill; learn from each other.
  • Babysit together for a mother who needs a break.
  • Drive a long distance to a church service, a concert, or a shopping mall.
  • Compose short stories, song lyrics or any other activity which brings out your creativity.
  • Share a devotional on an assigned weekday, or on the weekend.
  • Watch a sunrise or sunset from the porch, or from a selected spot in the park.
Red Crossworkers and College Graduates in musical Fun at Assam, India.

Red Crossworkers and College Graduates in musical Fun at Assam, India.

(3) Serve in Volunteer Organizations Together

How many times have you heard or said, “I’d go (or I’d do that) if I had company?” Here are five service organizations (and there are many others) which will welcome companions. By volunteering together, they tighten the friendship bond, lessen the chances of loneliness and boredom, and add valuable meaning to other people’s lives all at the same time.

  • American Red Cross

Volunteers make up 97% of their workforce. They help people prevent, prepare for and respond to emergencies and disasters. They also offer classes in First Aid/CPR Certification, Lifeguarding, Baby Sitters Training and more. To volunteer, find a local office at www.redcross.org or call (800) Red-Cross.

  • After-School All-Stars (ASAS)

The program provides a safe, educational environment for children ages 7-17 from 3-6 p.m. Volunteers supervise the children, of whom 60% are middle school age. To offer services, call (323) 938-3232 on the West Coast and (202) 289-3904 on the East Coast or email them at info@as-as.org.

  • American Cancer Society (ACS)

Volunteer opportunities include transportation for cancer patients, fundraising, marketing and communications, and other types of office help. Call (800) 227-2345 or find a local office at www.cancer.org.

  • The Young Men's Christian Association (YMCA)

This organization nurtures the potential of children, helps people live healthier, and offers support to strengthen communities. To volunteer, find a local office at http://www.ymca.net/volunteer or call (800) 872-9622.

  • Habitat for Humanity

They use volunteer labor to build and repair houses for low-income families. To get involved, call (800) Habitat or find the nearest affiliate office at www.habitat.org.

(4) Extend Your Companionship to Others Without Mates

Why not spread the fun? Companions can plan functions together for other people in need of companionship. These other people may remain acquaintances, or some may become a regular part of the friendship circle. At any rate, they all extend their social calendars and enjoy various other types of companionship activities.

  • Start an adult singles group in your church or community.
  • Organize a book club.
  • Spend one day a month helping a member of the group: clean the yard, paint the house, have a garage sale.
  • Plan birthday celebrations once a month.
  • Enjoy a grand event that you might not wish to experience alone: a cross-country trip or a Caribbean cruise.

One of the greatest blessings in companionship without commitment is that it is not required to be constant. Friends can request time off whenever they please. All should be courteous enough to communicate what they feel, and be considerate enough to respect the wishes of others. These relationships are not substitutes for marriage; but they offer meaningful support for those who are not married. Enjoy wholesome companionship!

© 2014 Dora Weithers


Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on July 16, 2018:

Thanks Elizabeth, for reading the article and sharing your interest. Best to you going forward.

Elizabeth (Liz) Wolfe on July 15, 2018:

This is a great way to meet like people. What a great hub.

companionship is important. Thank you.

Elizabeth (Liz) Wolfe on July 15, 2018:

looking for companion's. I am messianic. I love to do all sorts of things. I am an animal lover. like to play card games, din out. ect.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on July 24, 2015:

Nora, thanks for your encouragement. Glad you find the article relevant.

Nora Heighton from Halifax, Nova Scotia on July 23, 2015:

This is a wonderful hub. One that I can relate to quite well. Thank you for sharing!

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on October 12, 2014:

Nadine, you are fortunate indeed, and you haven't forgotten to be grateful. Thanks for sharing your story.

Nadine May from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa on October 10, 2014:

I love your post. I'm very fortunate that I found my soul partner later in life when we both knew what we wanted from a relationship. We have so much in common, its unusual for us to want to do things on our own. We are very different in many ways, and therefore do different work related jobs, but we compensate each other that way. Our partnership is a permanent one but without a marriage license. We both have been there and done that. We are now 15 years together and are grateful for every day being together.

We are great companions for each-other under one roof.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on October 10, 2014:

Thanks Audrey. I appreciate your very positive feedback.

Audrey Howitt from California on October 09, 2014:

I found this was a refreshing article! Companionship is so important--and I loved the quote you started with--we do need someone to walk beside us

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on July 29, 2014:

Thanks, strictlydating. Happy when my hub provides some inspiration.

StrictlyQuotes from Australia on July 28, 2014:

Very interesting and inspiring!

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on May 23, 2014:

Glenn, that is wonderful. So many issues are automatically satisfied by belonging to such a group. Thank you for sharing.

Glenn Stok from Long Island, NY on May 22, 2014:

This is a very useful article for those who are looking for ways to enhance their life, either with one companion, or by creating a social group of friend companions. I belong to such as group where we all do things together and individually. The nice thing about it is that everyone always has someone they can do things with, such as seeing a movie or just meeting for dinner.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 07, 2014:

Ebonny, thanks for your input. I agree with your observation.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 07, 2014:

Kerlund, I can relate to not wanting the same kind of relationship anymore. Thank you for sharing.

Ebonny from UK on March 07, 2014:

A very interesting read Ms Dora. Companionship is very important as it can enhance both our emotional and physical health. Voted up etc.

kerlund74 from Sweden on March 07, 2014:

I really find this interesting. As an adult who has been through a divorce I am not after the same kind of relationship any more. I have a partner right now but we have separate homes and spend time together when my children are at their fathers home. If I was single I think your advices are really useful, it is great to have someone in the life to spend some time with:)

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 07, 2014:

Word, thank you for your observation. That can happen; but it is wise to be sure of what you want, and not nurture a hidden agenda. Glad you mentioned that.

Al Wordlaw from Chicago on March 06, 2014:

Very well done MsDora, I really enjoyed reading this one. It had the best ideas for companionships without commitment. However, if a companionship is interesting enough then it can easily turn into a mutual commitment.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 06, 2014:

Psychic, thank you for your observation. Companionship has many lawful advantages.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 06, 2014:

Alphadogg, I appreciate our input. Sorry that companionship did not work for you. You can practice the suggestions in the article--not as regularly as couples do, not in privacy as couples do, and not as though your lives are molded together as couples are. If necessary, remind yourselves of what the relationship is all about and protect it.

psychicdog.net on March 06, 2014:

I think the world is going this way come to think of it thanks to YOU MsDora - thanks to you putting it so well. Good onya!

Kevin W from Texas on March 06, 2014:

Very interesting hub Ms Dora, I personally haven't had any luck with companionship the times that I tried it. When you do things that "couples" do, feelings and emotions tend to get involved. Or maybe I was just picking the wrong people. Voted up on your hub.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 05, 2014:

EP, thanks for your affirmation. Companionship without romance is underestimated. It can be enjoyable.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 05, 2014:

Mona,we learn as we grow older that every good friend is notmeant to be a lover. We lose out on some good relationships before we realize this. Thanks for your input.

Elizabeth Parker from Las Vegas, NV on March 05, 2014:

What a fantastic hub with insightful ideas for a companionship get together. Friendship and companionship doesn't necessarily mean romantic relationship as you have pointed out here. Well done!

Mona Sabalones Gonzalez from Philippines on March 05, 2014:

Companionship without commitment is an excellent idea at a later stage in life. You have maturity and much in common, and you can enrich each other's lives. At the same time, you can be there for each other when one is sick or in need. I wish more people would do this. I think it would be so much more enriching than May December affairs.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 05, 2014:

Sheila, thank you for sharing. The first thing is for you to know what YOU WANT. And yes, it is a good idea to communicate that. Without a commitment, you have the choice to continue or not!

sheilamyers on March 05, 2014:

You've given me some things to think about. I'm one of those people who would go more places if I had someone to go with. Unfortunately, it seems like when I start doing a lot of things with the same man he seems to think I want a deeper relationship and it scares him off or he does and I don't with him and I stay away. I'll have to remember your advice and start off by telling the guys it's just a close friendship and nothing more and see if that makes things better.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 05, 2014:

Faith, your comment is very encouraging. Thank you and blessings on your day, too.

Faith Reaper from southern USA on March 05, 2014:

Wonderful article, MsDora! Companionship is so important for all, especially for those who are a bit older just to get out and enjoy another person's company. You have included so many wonderful ideas here. I love the volunteering one. Up and more and sharing. Have a lovely day, Faith Reaper

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 05, 2014:

Devika, thanks for your input. I agree about those not sure; but also some are sure that this is all they want. I always appreciate your support.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on March 05, 2014:

Great ideas for companionship and for not being totally committed this is surely the way for those who are not sure of their plans.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 05, 2014:

Rajan Jolly, thank you for weighing in, and for leaving a kind comment.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 05, 2014:

MD, people who really want companionship find it wherever it is; find is a good word. Thank you for your input and your vote.

Rajan Singh Jolly from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA. on March 04, 2014:

Young or old we all need companions and company. Good ideas for those who'd not like to have a committed companionship.

Voted up.

Martin D Gardner from Virginia Beach on March 04, 2014:

Interesting look at companionship Ms. Dora. I didn't realize companionship could be found in so many ways besides the traditional relationship. Voted up

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 04, 2014:

Bill, you deserve the wonderful mate you found. Continued blessings on your marriage!

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 04, 2014:

Jodah, thanks for your affirmation. I appreciate you.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 04, 2014:

Jan, thanks for the comment and votes. I look forward to your article.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 04, 2014:

Jackie, you're about that lunch thing. The two people might have different agendas, good to have a tangible reason.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 04, 2014:

Frank, I'm pleased that you like the Christian point of view. Thank you for commenting.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on March 04, 2014:

I did this for years, but it was because I was afraid of commitment. Now I've found the one for me and I'm not letting go. :) Wonderful article with some great suggestions, Dora!

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on March 04, 2014:

Interesting hub MsDora and a great idea for companionship without strings attached. This would suit a lot of people for many different reasons. Thanks for sharing.

Janis Leslie Evans from Washington, DC on March 04, 2014:

I love the concept of companionship, coincidentally working on a hub about it now! I like your take on companionship without commitment. Nicely presented, MsDora. Voted up and useful.

Jackie Lynnley from the beautiful south on March 04, 2014:

Yeah that volunteer thing sounds good. That way you can have a reason to have lunch together if you are opposite sex without the other thinking it has to go any further. I do think companionship is so important for older people, because even having family I am sure they need to be with people their own age to enjoy life. So many older people seem really lonesome, don't they? ^

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on March 04, 2014:

wow mddora what a chritian point of view you have here, this is an amazing hub.. I enjoy reading hubs like these.. they make good common sense..:)

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