Ideas for Wholesome Companionship Without Commitment

Updated on June 26, 2018
MsDora profile image

MsDora, former teacher and Certified Christian Counselor shares tips for smooth relationships with friends and encounters with strangers.

It is lawful to have companionship without commitment, when the only goal is companionship. The relationship may be short term or long term, circumstantial or intentional, with no interest in physical intimacy or any other gestures which belong in a committed marriage relationship. It is friendship for friendship’s sake. Some young adults are not ready for a commitment, while some seniors have been there, done that and prefer not to do it again. And some people between the young and the seniors would be eligible if it were not for social, educational and financial reasons like those listed below.

"Man and woman on a Malvern Star abreast tandem bicycle" - c. 1930s by Sam Hood.
"Man and woman on a Malvern Star abreast tandem bicycle" - c. 1930s by Sam Hood. | Source

As ridiculous as it may sound, sometimes all any of us needs in life is for someone to hold our hand and walk next to us.

— James Frey

Some Reasons for Not Committing

  • Without steady employment, many men are either unwilling to commit, or have difficulty finding women who want to commit to them.
  • Economic independence of women makes them less willing to marry.
  • Some adult children of divorced parents would rather avoid the disaster they witnessed.
  • Some simply never meet someone to whom they would like to make a lifetime commitment.

Meanwhile, every healthy heart longs for company—sometimes. Companionship offsets loneliness, provides a listener when it is necessary to vent, guarantees feedback when it helps a situation, feeds the sense of worth and the sense of belonging. Rather than deny the benefits of companionship in the absence of a mate, singles can enjoy them together.

Following are four ideas for companionship which they can enjoy regardless of age or gender.

(1) Be Open to Companionship Opportunities

Talking, laughing, spending time with good company promotes good health and a sense of well-being. Companionship can bring pleasure with someone who shares similar interests, someone who offers a mutual exchange of ideas, or someone who just seems like a good candidate for friendship. It is not necessary to evaluate each other as possible mates. Just enjoy the present.

Older singles will appreciate the following advice from Eduardo Porter, NY Times Writer:

"You don’t have to marry the guy to enjoy his company over a lunch. He can be younger than you, less well educated, have less money, and still be fun to hang out with. The partner standards one had in youth need to change as you yourself have done."

If the first meeting was fun, another one can be scheduled to see whether meetings can become regular. Or if there was no enjoyment, they can plan to meet with different individuals the next time. That’s companionship without commitment.

"Man and woman eating lunch at a small restaurant table" - National Cancer Society.
"Man and woman eating lunch at a small restaurant table" - National Cancer Society. | Source

(2) Schedule Regular Companionship Events

Sometimes the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right people.– Nicholas Sparks

As singles begin to enjoy each other’s company, they may want to spend time together regularly. Weekly, bi-weekly or monthly events can be scheduled according to their availability. Here are some ideas for regular companionship events.

  • Plan a Sunday brunch and spend time together preparing the food.
  • Visit a museum or any interesting historical site.
  • Play electronic games or share a skill; learn from each other.
  • Babysit together for a mother who needs a break.
  • Drive a long distance to a church service, a concert, or a shopping mall.
  • Compose short stories, song lyrics or any other activity which brings out your creativity.
  • Share a devotional on an assigned weekday, or on the weekend.
  • Watch a sunrise or sunset from the porch, or from a selected spot in the park.

Red Crossworkers and College Graduates in musical Fun at Assam, India- 1944 - Author Unknown
Red Crossworkers and College Graduates in musical Fun at Assam, India- 1944 - Author Unknown | Source

(3) Serve in Volunteer Organizations Together

How many times have you heard or said, “I’d go (or I’d do that) if I had company?” Here are five service organizations (and there are many others) which will welcome companions. By volunteering together, they tighten the friendship bond, lessen the chances of loneliness and boredom, and add valuable meaning to other people’s lives all at the same time.

  • American Red Cross

Volunteers make up 97% of their workforce. They help people prevent, prepare for and respond to emergencies and disasters. They also offer classes in First Aid/CPR Certification, Lifeguarding, Baby Sitters Training and more. To volunteer, find a local office at www.redcross.org or call (800) Red-Cross.

  • After-School All-Stars (ASAS)

The program provides a safe, educational environment for children ages 7-17 from 3-6 p.m. Volunteers supervise the children, of whom 60% are middle school age. To offer services, call (323) 938-3232 on the West Coast and (202) 289-3904 on the East Coast or email them at info@as-as.org.

  • American Cancer Society (ACS)

Volunteer opportunities include transportation for cancer patients, fundraising, marketing and communications, and other types of office help. Call (800) 227-2345 or find a local office at www.cancer.org.

  • The Young Men's Christian Association (YMCA)

This organization nurtures the potential of children, helps people live healthier, and offers support to strengthen communities. To volunteer, find a local office at http://www.ymca.net/volunteer or call (800) 872-9622.

  • Habitat for Humanity

They use volunteer labor to build and repair houses for low-income families. To get involved, call (800) Habitat or find the nearest affiliate office at www.habitat.org.

(4) Extend Your Companionship to Others Without Mates

Why not spread the fun? Companions can plan functions together for other people in need of companionship. These other people may remain acquaintances, or some may become a regular part of the friendship circle. At any rate, they all extend their social calendars and enjoy various other types of companionship activities.

  • Start an adult singles group in your church or community.
  • Organize a book club.
  • Spend one day a month helping a member of the group: clean the yard, paint the house, have a garage sale.
  • Plan birthday celebrations once a month.
  • Enjoy a grand event that you might not wish to experience alone: a cross-country trip or a Caribbean cruise.

One of the greatest blessings in companionship without commitment is that it is not required to be constant. Friends can request time off whenever they please. All should be courteous enough to communicate what they feel, and be considerate enough to respect the wishes of others. These relationships are not substitutes for marriage; but they offer meaningful support for those who are not married. Enjoy wholesome companionship!

Questions & Answers

    © 2014 Dora Weithers

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      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 months ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks Elizabeth, for reading the article and sharing your interest. Best to you going forward.

      • profile image

        Elizabeth (Liz) Wolfe 

        4 months ago

        This is a great way to meet like people. What a great hub.

        companionship is important. Thank you.

      • profile image

        Elizabeth (Liz) Wolfe 

        4 months ago

        looking for companion's. I am messianic. I love to do all sorts of things. I am an animal lover. like to play card games, din out. ect.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        3 years ago from The Caribbean

        Nora, thanks for your encouragement. Glad you find the article relevant.

      • Nora Heighton profile image

        Nora Heighton 

        3 years ago from Halifax, Nova Scotia

        This is a wonderful hub. One that I can relate to quite well. Thank you for sharing!

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Nadine, you are fortunate indeed, and you haven't forgotten to be grateful. Thanks for sharing your story.

      • Nadine May profile image

        Nadine May 

        4 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

        I love your post. I'm very fortunate that I found my soul partner later in life when we both knew what we wanted from a relationship. We have so much in common, its unusual for us to want to do things on our own. We are very different in many ways, and therefore do different work related jobs, but we compensate each other that way. Our partnership is a permanent one but without a marriage license. We both have been there and done that. We are now 15 years together and are grateful for every day being together.

        We are great companions for each-other under one roof.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks Audrey. I appreciate your very positive feedback.

      • AudreyHowitt profile image

        Audrey Howitt 

        4 years ago from California

        I found this was a refreshing article! Companionship is so important--and I loved the quote you started with--we do need someone to walk beside us

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks, strictlydating. Happy when my hub provides some inspiration.

      • stricktlydating profile image

        StricktlyDating 

        4 years ago from Australia

        Very interesting and inspiring!

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Glenn, that is wonderful. So many issues are automatically satisfied by belonging to such a group. Thank you for sharing.

      • Glenn Stok profile image

        Glenn Stok 

        4 years ago from Long Island, NY

        This is a very useful article for those who are looking for ways to enhance their life, either with one companion, or by creating a social group of friend companions. I belong to such as group where we all do things together and individually. The nice thing about it is that everyone always has someone they can do things with, such as seeing a movie or just meeting for dinner.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Ebonny, thanks for your input. I agree with your observation.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Kerlund, I can relate to not wanting the same kind of relationship anymore. Thank you for sharing.

      • Ebonny profile image

        Ebonny 

        4 years ago from UK

        A very interesting read Ms Dora. Companionship is very important as it can enhance both our emotional and physical health. Voted up etc.

      • kerlund74 profile image

        kerlund74 

        4 years ago from Sweden

        I really find this interesting. As an adult who has been through a divorce I am not after the same kind of relationship any more. I have a partner right now but we have separate homes and spend time together when my children are at their fathers home. If I was single I think your advices are really useful, it is great to have someone in the life to spend some time with:)

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Word, thank you for your observation. That can happen; but it is wise to be sure of what you want, and not nurture a hidden agenda. Glad you mentioned that.

      • word55 profile image

        Al Wordlaw 

        4 years ago from Chicago

        Very well done MsDora, I really enjoyed reading this one. It had the best ideas for companionships without commitment. However, if a companionship is interesting enough then it can easily turn into a mutual commitment.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Psychic, thank you for your observation. Companionship has many lawful advantages.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Alphadogg, I appreciate our input. Sorry that companionship did not work for you. You can practice the suggestions in the article--not as regularly as couples do, not in privacy as couples do, and not as though your lives are molded together as couples are. If necessary, remind yourselves of what the relationship is all about and protect it.

      • psychicdog.net profile image

        psychicdog.net 

        4 years ago

        I think the world is going this way come to think of it thanks to YOU MsDora - thanks to you putting it so well. Good onya!

      • Alphadogg16 profile image

        Kevin W 

        4 years ago from Texas

        Very interesting hub Ms Dora, I personally haven't had any luck with companionship the times that I tried it. When you do things that "couples" do, feelings and emotions tend to get involved. Or maybe I was just picking the wrong people. Voted up on your hub.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        EP, thanks for your affirmation. Companionship without romance is underestimated. It can be enjoyable.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Mona,we learn as we grow older that every good friend is notmeant to be a lover. We lose out on some good relationships before we realize this. Thanks for your input.

      • epbooks profile image

        Elizabeth Parker 

        4 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

        What a fantastic hub with insightful ideas for a companionship get together. Friendship and companionship doesn't necessarily mean romantic relationship as you have pointed out here. Well done!

      • grand old lady profile image

        Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 

        4 years ago from Philippines

        Companionship without commitment is an excellent idea at a later stage in life. You have maturity and much in common, and you can enrich each other's lives. At the same time, you can be there for each other when one is sick or in need. I wish more people would do this. I think it would be so much more enriching than May December affairs.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Sheila, thank you for sharing. The first thing is for you to know what YOU WANT. And yes, it is a good idea to communicate that. Without a commitment, you have the choice to continue or not!

      • profile image

        sheilamyers 

        4 years ago

        You've given me some things to think about. I'm one of those people who would go more places if I had someone to go with. Unfortunately, it seems like when I start doing a lot of things with the same man he seems to think I want a deeper relationship and it scares him off or he does and I don't with him and I stay away. I'll have to remember your advice and start off by telling the guys it's just a close friendship and nothing more and see if that makes things better.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Faith, your comment is very encouraging. Thank you and blessings on your day, too.

      • Faith Reaper profile image

        Faith Reaper 

        4 years ago from southern USA

        Wonderful article, MsDora! Companionship is so important for all, especially for those who are a bit older just to get out and enjoy another person's company. You have included so many wonderful ideas here. I love the volunteering one. Up and more and sharing. Have a lovely day, Faith Reaper

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Devika, thanks for your input. I agree about those not sure; but also some are sure that this is all they want. I always appreciate your support.

      • DDE profile image

        Devika Primić 

        4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

        Great ideas for companionship and for not being totally committed this is surely the way for those who are not sure of their plans.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Rajan Jolly, thank you for weighing in, and for leaving a kind comment.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        MD, people who really want companionship find it wherever it is; find is a good word. Thank you for your input and your vote.

      • rajan jolly profile image

        Rajan Singh Jolly 

        4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

        Young or old we all need companions and company. Good ideas for those who'd not like to have a committed companionship.

        Voted up.

      • mdgardner profile image

        Martin D Gardner 

        4 years ago from Virginia Beach

        Interesting look at companionship Ms. Dora. I didn't realize companionship could be found in so many ways besides the traditional relationship. Voted up

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Bill, you deserve the wonderful mate you found. Continued blessings on your marriage!

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Jodah, thanks for your affirmation. I appreciate you.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Jan, thanks for the comment and votes. I look forward to your article.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Jackie, you're about that lunch thing. The two people might have different agendas, good to have a tangible reason.

      • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Frank, I'm pleased that you like the Christian point of view. Thank you for commenting.

      • billybuc profile image

        Bill Holland 

        4 years ago from Olympia, WA

        I did this for years, but it was because I was afraid of commitment. Now I've found the one for me and I'm not letting go. :) Wonderful article with some great suggestions, Dora!

      • Jodah profile image

        John Hansen 

        4 years ago from Queensland Australia

        Interesting hub MsDora and a great idea for companionship without strings attached. This would suit a lot of people for many different reasons. Thanks for sharing.

      • janshares profile image

        Janis Leslie Evans 

        4 years ago from Washington, DC

        I love the concept of companionship, coincidentally working on a hub about it now! I like your take on companionship without commitment. Nicely presented, MsDora. Voted up and useful.

      • Jackie Lynnley profile image

        Jackie Lynnley 

        4 years ago from The Beautiful South

        Yeah that volunteer thing sounds good. That way you can have a reason to have lunch together if you are opposite sex without the other thinking it has to go any further. I do think companionship is so important for older people, because even having family I am sure they need to be with people their own age to enjoy life. So many older people seem really lonesome, don't they? ^

      • Frank Atanacio profile image

        Frank Atanacio 

        4 years ago from Shelton

        wow mddora what a chritian point of view you have here, this is an amazing hub.. I enjoy reading hubs like these.. they make good common sense..:)

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