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How to Impress a Boy: 5 Things You Can Do to Impress a Guy You Really Like

Fresh perspective on dating issues compiled in consultation with friends in North America, Australia and African nations.

What can a girl do to impress a boy? This is a frequently asked question posed by many girls who are interested in a guy and are looking for ways to get his attention easily and faster. There are definitely many things you can do to impress a guy you like. I have discussed this topic with some of my international friends, and I will discuss the points we all agree on.

5 Things You Can Do to Impress a Guy You Like

First, you need to get a guy to notice you, and then you'll want to keep him interested in you. But how do you get a guy's attention without being seen as desperate?

Impressing the guy you like shouldn’t be a one-dimensional thing, but something you need to approach from many different angles. One technique might not be enough to get his attention (or hold it), so it is best to come up with a few good ideas if you want to succeed with your goal of trying to impress him.

Here are five things you can do to impress a guy you like. Good luck!

1. Be Good at Something

We are all impressed by someone who excels. If you are good at something, people notice. And the guy you like will probably also be impressed. You don't have to choose something he's good at too. It can be really exciting to talk to someone who can achieve what you find really difficult.

My Australian friend loves going to the beach, but he is not a good surfer. He is most impressed by women who can grab a surfboard and ride the waves.

An American friend is really impressed by girls who are cheerleaders. But he admits that when he was at school, he was in awe of a girl who was brilliant at math. He couldn't understand how she could calculate difficult problems in her head, without even needing a pen and paper. (He struggled to get the answers cheating with a calculator!)

We all agree that girls who are good at just about anything impress us. Here's a word of warning though. If you are exceptionally good academically, it might be hard for the guy you like to approach you. You might have to speak to him first. Yes, guys can get inferiority complexes too!

2. Be Yourself

Be confident in your own skin. Don't try to be what you aren't because that can easily be noticed by the guy you are trying very hard to impress.

Guys don't like girls who are fake. We like our women to be genuinely friendly. Genuinely interesting. Genuinely interested . . . or up-front and honest about their disinterest in a topic or event.

Don't pretend you really like football, fishing, or bushwalking if you won't enjoy doing it every weekend. That will just cause problems in the future. Lots of couples have different interests and go their separate ways for a while. But when they get together again, they are excited to see each other and share their news!

3. Take Care of What You Wear

There are so many ways you can impress a guy with the clothes you wear. Of course, it depends on the guy, and it depends on you. But the general rule is 'take care of what you wear'.

Most women settle into a personal style when choosing their clothing. If you want to impress a guy, give some thought to the clothes you are wearing. Tracksuits are great when you are doing something sporty. And yes, they can be really comfortable to wear around the house. But if you are someone who always wears baggy tracksuit pants and a loose-fitting sweater everywhere you go, that's not very impressive.

Branch out and try something new. At least one outfit that's cute and tight-fitting. If you always wear runners, try a different type of footwear.

If you are afraid you'll look uncomfortable and awkward wearing your new outfit out in public, wear it at home for a while first. Get used to seeing your new image in the mirror, walking in your new shoes, and sitting in a tight skirt. (Or any skirt, if you generally wear pants all the time.)

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No need to buy an outfit that's incredibly revealing. Low cleavage doesn't really impress guys. Yes, probably every male you pass will notice your exposed skin. But that's not necessarily because they are impressed.

It can be a lovely change, however, when a girl wears a different of outfit to her normal choice. Not only can a new style of clothing draw more attention to her figure, but a new outfit can make a statement about her personality and confidence. So take care what you wear.

Bare skin is very sexy. But a bare shoulder can be even more attractive and enticing than cleavage.

Bare skin is very sexy. But a bare shoulder can be even more attractive and enticing than cleavage.

4. Let Him Know You Notice Him

Is this so hard? Is it really difficult for girls to give a guy some kind of encouragement?

It really impresses me when a girl allows herself to smile. Or laugh. Or blush. Some kind of indication that she's noticed a guy actually exists.

You don't have to throw yourself at a man, or pretend to be captivated by every word he says. Being a bit aloof can be kind of sexy and appealing. But being a stone wall doesn't work for many women. Sure, a few might get away with it, but it comes with a big risk.

If you like a guy, give him a clue. Let him know you notice him, and he'll be more likely to pay attention to you as well.

Guys love it when a girl laughs, smiles or blushes. Anything that gives him a clue she's noticed him!

Guys love it when a girl laughs, smiles or blushes. Anything that gives him a clue she's noticed him!

5. Lend a Helping Hand

This is not to suggest you become a doormat. You're not going to become the girl who is always trying to stick her nose into everyone's business. You won't be standing by to jump into action every time someone needs a helping hand. But you will be keeping an eye out for that perfect opportunity to lend a helping hand as a strategy to impress the guy you like.

There are lots of ways you could be helpful, and gain the attention of that special guy.

  • Help his friend (without looking like you're hitting on his friend, of course.)
  • Help his little sister (with something like homework or music lessons.)
  • Volunteer for a charity group (ideally in a place he walks past every day.)
  • If you know his mother or grandmother, keep an eye out for opportunities to lend a hand.

If your goal is to impress him, look for an opportunity to step up and help. Not only will he notice you, but you'll have something to talk about. Any involvement you have in any of the examples above gives you a great conversation starter. Helping someone else just might be the key to helping you impress the guy of your dreams.

Questions & Answers

Question: I like a boy. How do I tell him or express my feelings to him?

Answer: If you're not even talking with each other yet, don't stress about telling him you like him or expressing your 'feelings' yet. That's not a wise move. You might think he seems really nice from a distance, but he might be really awful when you get to know him. So I suggest you spend time getting to know him first. Talk, chat, laugh, all that kind of stuff.

If things are going really well between you, it becomes an easy step to say, 'I like you. You're nice.' Or 'I like you. You make me laugh.' It doesn't have to be a big deal though. Just tell him.

Question: How do I start a conversation with a boy?

Answer: Start conversations with boys the same way you start a conversation with any of your friends. Say "hi," then ask how their day is going; that kind of thing.

Boys are people too, you know. Approach a boy and ask him questions, and I’m pretty sure you’ll find the answers. That gets your conversation started.

Question: How can I impress a boy who thinks I'm ugly?

Answer: Are you asking me how to impress a guy who thinks you’re ugly? Gee, I don’t think you should bother trying to impress a guy like that.

Forget him. Find a guy who sees your great qualities and appreciates you for who you are. You don’t need a loser like this other guy in your life.

Question: Should I be a tomboy or a girly girl? I am a tomboy originally. Will he like me when I oil my hair and wear two ponies?

Answer: If you're a tomboy, you're probably not going to be comfortable pretending to be a girly girl. That is, unless you're looking for an excuse to be less of a tomboy, and are feeling like you want to be more girly. I believe we should all be true to ourselves. So I don't believe you should try to be someone you're not.

Question: I really like a guy from University, but people say that he is a playboy. I admire him as a person. How do I ask him on a date?

Answer: You've been warned he's a playboy, so I hope you won't be expecting heaps of sympathy from your friends if he breaks your heart. I find it hard to understand why any girl would want to chase a playboy.

Perhaps you like a challenge and like to think he'll be different with you. But you know he probably won't be different, don't you? He's likely to dump you and move onto someone else. Or maybe just move onto someone else while he's still dating you. But if you're determined to ask the playboy on a date, that shouldn't be too difficult.

- Tell him you're interested in seeing a particular movie, and invite him to join you.

- Challenge him to a game of tennis or squash, billiards or pool.

- Suggest a meal or getting a coffee together.

If he's the playboy your friends say he is, he's likely to accept any of those options.

Question: I have a crush on this guy in the grade above me, but his friend said he doesn't like me. What do I do to impress him?

Answer: How does his friend know if the guy likes you or not? He might have a secret crush on you. I think you should just wait and see what happens. Of course, you might have to wait a couple of years before you get a chance to talk, and maybe nothing will come of it, but it is kind of nice just having a crush when young, even if it never becomes an actual relationship.

Question: What do I do if the boy I like has feelings for somebody else?

Answer: There’s not much you can do if he likes someone else. Just keep being someone worth noticing. He might grow tired of his current crush. But even if he doesn’t, someone else will spot you. And they may be even more perfect for you.

Question: If a guy talks to you with a smile and sometimes worries about you, does he like you?

Answer: I’d say yes, he likes you. Hard to say if he likes you in a romantic way, but he likes you enough to care.

Question: I like this guy, and my friends are pretty sure that he likes me back. Whenever I text him on social media, he barely texts anymore. Note the 'anymore.' I don't have any classes with him, and I'm pretty sure that's one of the reasons why he stopped. What should I do?

Answer: Welcome to the world of confusion and chaos that comes with entering the dating game. We all experience highs and lows when we get excited, and then our potential partner somehow drifts away.

You'll soon learn that a disappointment is just a bump in the road. I think you should let it go and get on with your life. There will be lots of other guys you like in the future, and lots of other guys who like you and stay with you (for weeks, or months, or years), and maybe even one who stays with you forever. But neither of you are likely to be mature enough to make a relationship last for long when you're still in school. So you've lost a 'dream' right now, not a life partner.

Put it in perspective, and you'll see this little disappointment isn't worth any tears or heartbreak. I suggest you just move on with your life and see what the future brings.

Question: I told this boy I liked him. He said he likes the way I look, but I have no sense of humor and I’m frigid around him. If I like him so much, why am I like this around him?

Answer: He says you have no sense of humor? He’s obviously not funny; he’s just rude. I wouldn’t be laughing at a guy who speaks to a girl that way. He’s also arrogant.

If the guy is complaining about you being frigid around him, he’s just trying to get you to throw yourself at him so he can get intimate with you and be sexual. And if he’s complaining you have no sense of humor, it is because he wants you to put up with the crap that comes out of his mouth without challenging him.

Are you like this around him because you like him so much? No. You’re like this around him because he’s an arrogant slimeball. His looks may be okay, but his personality is not worth getting close to.

I say congratulations to you for not letting him get intimate with you and not laughing at his nonsense. Now it is time to forget about him and find a nice guy you can respect and trust.

Question: I never see my boyfriend because he is in a different class. What should I do?

Answer: Concentrate on your school work while you’re in class, and see your boyfriend during lunch breaks and after school. It is a good thing not to be distracted during class.

Question: I like a boy in my church and school. I don’t know if he likes me. He talks rarely, but he is nice to me. I love him. How will I impress him? I am a bit of a shy type.

Answer: I believe the first thing you need to do is address your shyness. There’s a bunch of tips in this article: https://hubpages.com/etiquette/MyShyness.

Don’t stress about talking with the guy you like. Just take it easy and take each step in the Shyness Remedies article and you should be ready to chat with him soon.

I encourage you to be more realistic about approaching the guy. He’s just a guy you like. You like him, which is not the same thing as loving him. So don’t put so much pressure on yourself. This is just some guy we’re talking about, not the love of your life.

I understand you probably feel left out if all your friends have boyfriends but I hope you’re not chasing a guy just because your friends have boyfriends. When you do get a boyfriend, it should be for all the right reasons.

Question: I love a girl who is my best friend. She tells me everything. Does she love me?

Answer: She loves you the way best friends do. But, that doesn’t mean she’s ‘in love’ with you.

Question: What should I do when a boy ignores me?

Answer: You could walk straight up to him and say hello. Be ready with a question to ask him. When he answers, say ‘thanks’. And then walk away.

Each time you see him after that, say ‘hi’. That will show him you are approachable. It should make it easy for him if he’s interested in talking with you more.

Question: I like a boy in my tuition. He is popular. Yesterday, I gave him a keychain, but he didn't take it. Does he like me or not?

Answer: If you offer someone a gift and they don't take it, it could mean one of a few things.

- They're not comfortable accepting any kind of gift from anyone.

- They don't want to feel like they 'owe' you anything.

- They're embarrassed and don't respond the way they'd like to. (They generally think pretty stupid afterward.)

Or

- They don't like you enough to want to take a gift from you.

Now that you've offered him a gift, he certainly should know that you like him. I think you're going to have to wait for a while and see what he does next. He's either going to make some kind of gesture to show you that he likes you too, or else he's going to keep his distance.

I think you'll know if he likes you or not soon enough.

Question: There is this new guy at my school, does he like me?

Answer: You expect me to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’, right? But take a look at your question. How would I know if the new guy at your school likes you or not? You’ve given me no clues, and I’m not psychic.

I could toss a coin in the air, ‘heads he likes her, tails he doesn’t,’ but that’s not going to help you. So I suggest you talk with the guy and get to know him.

I’m not convinced you actually like him yet if he’s new and you don’t know him at all. And I’m guessing he’ll want to talk with a bunch of girls before deciding who he actually ‘likes’.

He doesn’t have to ‘like’ you before you’ll talk with him and welcome him to your school, does he?

Question: I like this Physical Education teacher at my school. I have a huge crush on him. He always tells me that I'm flexible and compliments me on good things. But I'm an introvert and he hates that but he told me that even he was an introvert in high school. What should I do?

Answer: The world is filled with students who have crushes on school teachers. Put a really nice or really good looking teacher in front of a bunch of teenagers, and at least some of those students will start daydreaming and develop a crush. So you're no different to a lot of other kids. It happens.

Physical Education is probably one of the most likely classes for teenage flirting. All that physical activity, working up a sweat, etc. But you have to remember that it is a teacher's job to compliment students on good things, including being flexible in Phys Ed. So I think you need to let go of the daydream and get more in touch with reality.

What should you do? Well, for starters, you should remember your teacher is an adult in a position of authority, and he faces prosecution if he behaves inappropriately with students. If you actually like the guy, you should back off and stop making life difficult for him.

I suggest you laugh to yourself about what a 'typical teenager' you are, and accept that you really are wasting your time having a crush on your teacher. Make a mental note to keep an eye out for a man who works as a personal trainer (or even a PE teacher) when you're an adult and able to date men like him ... but in the meantime, direct your romantic eye to boys your own age. And accept the fact your teacher has adult friends and probably an adult partner who meets all his needs.

You are his student. That's all. Don't make life more complicated than it needs to be.

Question: I come from a family where dating is strictly not allowed. I’ve got feelings for a guy and I have no idea what to do. I’m scared to admit my feelings to him, but I’m scared of my parents finding out or worse, rejection! What should I do?

Answer: It depends how old you are. If you’re an adult with a job and the ability to live independently of your parents, I think you should talk with them and tell them it is time for you to start dating.

However if you are a school student living at home, don’t lose sight of who pays the bills and how many hours you have to spend with your parents every day, every week, every month.

In which case, I think you should dream of how great it will be to be an independent adult who can date guys you have feelings for. Work towards that goal. Good grades, good job, good guy.

Question: I am only 11, and my boyfriend is leaving for America at the end of the school year. Should I kiss him?

Answer: It sounds like he’s moving to America, not just going for a holiday. I’m sure he’d think it was pretty great if you kiss him goodbye the last time you see him. But remember you’re only 11, so a quick peck on the cheek is all that’s required. There will be plenty of time for kissing when you are older. For now, just let him know you’ve enjoyed his company and you hope he has a really great life in America. Maybe you’ll catch up again when you’re both adults.

But if he is actually only going for a holiday, I don’t think you should kiss him. When he comes back, he might expect it to continue, and that’s not a good look for a pre-teen.

Question: If I like a guy but he thinks I'm annoying, what do I do?

Answer: If you like a guy but he thinks you're annoying, there are a few ways of looking at the situation.

- Perhaps he's just not interested in you.

- Maybe he is interested, but not confident enough to let you know.

- Or maybe you are actually annoying.

We all like to think we're perfect and people should accept us the way we are, and in theory, that's great. But sometimes we have attitudes or habits that are genuinely annoying to other people. I can look back at my youth and see a few things I did that must have been annoying to others.

Fortunately, I've changed and no longer behave the same way I used to. So I suggest you stop and think about why he might say you're annoying. If you don't see a problem, forget him and move on. But if you can see why he considers you annoying and you believe it is time to change it, take action.

Make the change. It might give you a better chance with the guy you like now. Even if it doesn't, it will probably help when you like the next guy.

Question: My crush is my friend, so I know who he likes, and it's not me. What do I do?

Answer: You’re his friend already so he definitely likes you too.

I don’t know how old you are. If you’re young, I think you should wait until he grows older and more mature. Just remain his friend while he flounders through early relationships. He’ll be more interesting when he’s older, and you don’t want to lose him as a friend.

If you’re older, you could ask him, "Do you think you’d ever consider me as a possible girlfriend?" If he says "no," ask him "why not?" And then decide which direction to take the conversation.

This kind of conversation is not hard and can be quite revealing, that is if you’re both old enough and mature enough to have it. If not, just wait until you’re at an age and a stage where it can make a difference to getting out of the friend zone without being weird and awkward.

A mature friendship can withstand this kind of conversation. If you’re only young though, your friendship might not survive it.

Question: I like a guy who I see looks at me but I am not sure if he likes me. What do I do?

Answer: I suggest you talk with the guy more often. See if you can get an interesting conversation going, preferably with a few laughs. We really can't 'like' another person until we get to know them. So make an effort to get to know each other a bit better.

Question: What do I do if I like a boy but he doesn’t like me back?

Answer: If you like the boy, I'm guessing you've done your best to have him notice you, and you've spoken with him a bunch of times to break the ice. If you haven't, then you should.

But if the guy you like really doesn't like you back, there's only one thing to do. Let go of the dream and look for another one.

If there's not another boy in your school who catches your attention, just wait until you're old enough to go to college or university or a job where there will be a whole new bunch of guys. The fun really starts when you're an adult. So I suggest you concentrate on your studies now so you can get into university or a really good job. They're the places you're most likely to meet your life partner.

Question: I love a guy a lot. Literally, I’d die for him. My friend told him that I like him. He told my friend that he likes me too. He doesn't want to break my heart, but he has a girlfriend. So I think I should be over him, but after one month I noticed he was staring at me and smiling at me and trying to touch me. But he's too shy to talk to me. I love him a lot. What should I do?

Answer: I’m guessing you’re young, so I’m going to start with something that’s very important for you to understand. You like the guy a lot. You don’t ‘love’ him. How do I know? Because you haven’t ever talked with him enough to know anything significant about him. And you don’t know if you’re actually suited for each other or not.

I suggest you stop getting so dramatic and saying you’d die for him. Really, you’re not Romeo and Juliet, and you’re not yet part of a romantic love story. Pretending you are is just setting yourself up for disappointment.

There are lots of ways people describe the way they feel about someone they like. Try saying something like:

- I really like him

- I think he’s really attractive

or even

- I’ve got the hots for him

It is much healthier to put your feelings in perspective instead of jumping to the ‘love’ declaration. Save that for when you really know a guy, and you really do love someone.

For the time being, what I think you should do is just take the time to engage him in conversation and find out more about him. Sounds to me like he’s very young too. Don’t be in such a rush. The whole process will be much easier for both of you as you get older and more mature.

Question: My man hardly calls me. Do you think he loves me?

Answer: Anyone who is in love likes to stay in touch. Just to say hello, see how you're going, have any news, see if you need anything. If you live with your man and he comes home every night and is loving and attentive, there’s no real reason to be concerned if he doesn’t call during a busy day. But if you don’t live with him and phone calls are your only contact, it seems unlikely he loves you. I think you should dump him and look for someone new who is more caring and committed.

Question: There is a boy in my class, and I like him so much. I think he also likes me, but he may like one other girl as well. So how do I confirm if he loves me or not?

Answer: He’s not going to know if he likes you more than the other girl if he doesn’t really know you and doesn’t have a chance to talk with you.

I think you should be friendly and chat with him. Let him see you’re easy to talk with. That’s not the same thing as throwing yourself at him. Just be nice and friendly, not flirty. You want the guy to respect you.

I’m sure you like him a lot, but it is way too early to be talking about ‘love.’ Love is far more complicated than just liking a boy in your class, so don’t make a bigger fuss than it needs to be. Talk with him, and you might find he’s not actually as wonderful as you think he is.

But you should always spend time with someone and get to know them properly before deciding whether or not you love them.

Question: I am in school and a hot guy likes me and I like him, but we are too scared to confess. What do I do?

Answer: You wait. Enjoy the idea you both like each other, but don’t spoil it by creating trouble before you’re older. Sounds like you both know you’re ‘too young’ and parents probably won’t approve.

So just wait until you’re older. I understand most kids think their first ‘love’ will be their one and only ... but you know that’s not true. If it doesn’t work out with this guy in the future, there will be other guys.

Best to avoid the trouble.

Question: There is a guy at my school that likes me but I don't know what to do?

Answer: Ask yourself a few questions.

- Do you like him as well? Or are you only considering him because he liked you first?

- How well do you know him? Do you want to know him better?

- What is he likely to expect from you? If you think he just wants to spend time and talk with you and find out more about you, that's a good thing.

- Do you trust him?

- Do you know what your boundaries are, and are you confident you can prevent him from crossing them?

- Are you ready to start dating?

- Have you discussed the issue of dating and spending time with a guy with your parents?

- Are you simply pleased someone likes you, but not yet ready for the complications of being in any kind of relationship?

Once you've figured out the answers to these kind of questions, you'll be more confident about what to do.

Question: I really like this guy but he doesn’t want to date me. What do I do?

Answer: You should accept that you're in the same position as 99.9% of the population. I can't think of anyone who hasn't felt disappointed by at least one crush not returning their interest. Maybe he might want to date you sometime in years to come, but I don't think you should waste any time or effort waiting for that to happen.

The good news is we all end up finding someone else who loves us the way we are.

Question: I like a guy I just met for the first time yesterday, but he has a very busy job and I can’t be around him whenever I want. I seriously want to win him over. What should I do?

Answer: If you just met the guy yesterday it sounds like you’re jumping the gun a bit. You’re wanting him to give up his job to spend time with you? That’s awfully selfish and won’t help him pay his bills or build his career.

You’re not likely to win any guy over with that kind of attitude. So what do I think you should do? Simple. Change your attitude and make an effort to allow the guy to do what he does at his busy job. Maybe then he’ll spend some of his time with you when he’s not working.

Question: I like this boy but he does not like me back, and he is popular in my school. What do I do?

Answer: You do what 99% of the people in the world have done when the person they like doesn’t like them back. And that is, get over it and move on. Sure, it is disappointing. But all the disappointments we face are simply part of the experience of life. And with each experience, we all become a little more resilient.

We can’t go through life expecting everyone to like us and everything to go our way. (It is kind of cool to learn that when we’re young. Toughens us up and prepares us for the big, wide world after graduation from school.)

When you walk down the street, every adult you pass will have liked someone (probably more than one) who didn’t like them back. Even people who are madly in love with a wonderful partner today, had their hearts broken at some time in the past.

The popular boy in your school is not going to be the love of your life. The love of your life (when you eventually meet him) will be SO much better than the kid who doesn’t like you.

Question: I like a guy. He is very popular in our area, but he blocked me on Instagram. I wonder whether he likes me or not?

Answer: I think you know the answer to this question yourself. If he’s blocking you, it sounds like he’s not interested. But that’s okay because there’s some other guy out there waiting to meet you.

Once you stop concentrating on the loser popular guy, you’ll be more likely to notice the new nice guy.

Question: We've been together for 2 years and have a baby. Why does it seem like we're roommates? How do I fix this?

Answer: That’s a pretty complicated question and you don’t give me many clues but I’ll do my best to give a helpful answer.

If the baby wasn’t planned, it might have been a shock to him. Maybe he’s doing the best he can but doesn’t actually know what’s expected of him, or what being in a relationship with a baby in the picture actually means. Or maybe he’s afraid you might get pregnant again. That can be a genuine fear for guys who are not feeling emotionally or financially prepared.

If you want to revive the passion, I suggest you gift wrap a packet of condoms and give it to him with a romantic card. Write a note in it telling him you value him as your baby’s daddy but you never want to lose the romance and passion you both shared. I’m thinking that should clearly deliver the message you’re ready to return to a bit of action in your love lives, without the need for an awkward conversation.

Question: I like someone who smiles at me a lot, and he's super sweet, too. I want to tell him, but I'm not sure how. What should I do?

Answer: I don’t know why you have to tell him you like him the first time you speak with him. Just say "hi" the first time. Show an interest in him, and he should get the message that you’re kind of interested without it becoming awkward.

Question: If I like a guy who probably hates me, what do I do?

Answer: I'm not sure why you say the guy probably hates you. Have you done something really rotten to him? If he has a good reason to hate you, there's probably not much you can do beyond making a sincere apology.

But if you're just saying he probably hates you because you have low esteem and don't think he could possibly like you, there are lots you can do. Start by building your confidence. Be brave and say hello. Make small talk to break the ice. Smile and look like you enjoy seeing him around.

It is perfectly okay to be the first one to make contact. If he's interested, he'll continue the conversations and interaction.

Question: I have a close male friend. I have feelings for him, and he also has feelings for me. But he’s not loyal. I know, but still, I want to change him. So what can I do?

Answer: I’m trying to imagine a man who is in the habit of playing around changing because a good woman wants to change him, and I’m having trouble with it.

I’ve discussed it with my friends, and we are in agreement on the following points: -

- A guy like that will only change if he wants to, which is not the same thing as his partner wanting him to.

- It must be incredibly stressful for a woman who half-expects her partner to cheat on her sometime in the future.

- A good friend doesn’t necessarily make a good boyfriend or husband.

- A guy who decides to try being faithful for the first time generally has a brand new woman in his life. (And is generally ‘older,’ with a bunch of failed relationships behind him.)

We don’t know what your friend is like, and of course, we don’t know for sure that you couldn’t make a relationship with him work. But if you’ve known him long enough and well enough to know he isn’t loyal, there’s a risk he’ll say, ‘You knew what I was like before we even got together.’

So if you try to change him, be prepared for him to disappoint you. It seems like the easier (and likely, happier) option is to keep him as a friend if you want, but look for a new man to be your partner.

Question: So my guy I like is just some guy at school. The only time i see him is during swimming and school’s almost over. I'm scared that if i try anything he'll think I'm weird. The only hint hes given me is holding my hand for a moment but that’s it. What do I do?

Answer: I think your best option is probably to wait until school resumes again. In the new year, greet him with a smile and make it easy for him to talk with you.

You’ll both be feeling older and more confident. Plus you’ll have more time for things to develop without feeling rushed and ‘weird’.

Question: Please tell me how to impress a guy and make him fall for me. We have met one time. I am an emotional girl and he knows it but he isn’t bothered to call or text. What to do?

Answer: If you’ve only met the guy once, the first thing you should be doing is figuring out how to see him more often. This whole article gives tips to impress a guy you really like, but any strategy relies on you seeing each other. So make the effort to see him instead of expecting the guy you’ve only met once to call and text you. He’s probably not confident enough to do that yet. He’s only met you once! If you really like him, it is up to you to give him a chance to get to know you better.

Question: I have a friend and one who loves me. The person who loves me is angry about my friend's relationship and that I am close to my friend. What can I do?

Answer: Sorry, but I can’t imagine why someone who loves you would get angry about you having a friend. Unless they’re trying to control you and separate you from your support group.

Unfortunately, that’s a typical strategy used by individuals who become increasingly violent and controlling. They isolate their partner and don’t allow them the freedom to visit family or friends. For fear of another jealous rage, the partner gives in.

So whenever I hear of a jealous partner or love interest like yours, my advice is always ‘Choose your friend.’ Better to escape from future trouble with someone like that.

Question: If the boy I like texts me a lot, does that mean he likes me?

Answer: It depends on what he’s saying in his texts. He’s obviously going to the trouble of communicating with you. So that’s a start.

Question: I like a boy who I believe is in a relationship and we have talked only two times. However, he is going to help me to set music my poems. What should I do?

Answer: I think you should put your effort and attention into working on your songs together. Don't get caught up obsessing about liking him. If he's in a relationship, you should respect that relationship. He might break up with his current partner and move on with you one day. Meanwhile, you'll have created some great songs.

But if you try to break them up, he might walk away from you. And if you encourage him to cheat on his partner, he might behave the same way with you in the future. So I believe your best option is to work on your songs together and wait and see what happens.

Question: I like my boyfriend, but he does not seem to be interested in me anymore. There is this other guy who always helps me and cares about me. He has a crush on me. What should I do? Should I leave my boyfriend?

Answer: Most relationships go stale sooner or later, which is why it is so important to get to know someone properly and be confident it is going to work before making a long-term commitment.

I think it sounds like a wise decision to break up with your current boyfriend and move on to the next guy. If he’s helpful and caring, that’s a welcome improvement compared to a guy who is not interested.

Out of respect for your current guy (and to show your new guy that you don’t mistreat boyfriends), I believe you should break up before moving on.

It seems simple from what you’ve said. I suggest, "You seem disinterested, and I’m not happy with how things are going. So I believe we should break up now, before we get sick of each other."

Question: I like a guy that is older than me. We know each other and often chat. I like him, but don't know if he likes me or not?

Answer: I don't know how much older than you he is, but here's my initial thought. It is difficult for an older guy to date a younger girl in many ways, until you're both adults.

As you get older yourself, you'll be able to see how 'young' teenagers seem to be. But I know when you're still a teenager you probably feel very grown up.

So if he's a few years older than you, I think he's best is one of those stories parents end up telling their kids about in years to come. You'll probably have a teenager of your own one day who likes an older guy, and you'll be telling the story about the guy you liked but couldn't date, so you know how she feels. It might be hard to imagine, but someday you're going to be a sympathetic parent who your kids think is really great!

Question: My man calls me every night without missing but never in the morning. Does he loves me?

Answer: I've never been much of a morning person so I can find it easy to imagine a guy could be too busy to call his girlfriend when he climbs out of bed in a rush to get to work. The big question obviously is whether or not he wakes up next to another woman every morning because that could be another reason why a guy doesn't call in the mornings.

Now if he works a late shift and is away from home every night when he calls you, that should ring warning bells. But if he is calling you from home and you know he doesn't live with anyone else (in other words, you know he doesn't have another partner), I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt.

Whether or not he loves you yet or is still getting to know you and is uncertain how he really feels, I can't say. I have, however, written another article that gives you a heap of clues when trying to figure out how a guy feels about you. https://pairedlife.com/dating/How-Do-You-Know-A-Gu...

Take a look and see if it helps clear things up for you.

Question: How do I get my boyfriend to kiss me?

Answer: Getting your boyfriend to kiss you is the easy part. The most difficult part is getting a boy to stop kissing you if you lose interest in him, or making sure he doesn't become too eager in being intimate. So make sure you're absolutely positive you're of an age and at a stage where kissing is a good idea.

Then, simply let him know you're giving him permission. That's as simple as saying, "You can kiss me if you like."

Question: I have feelings for my friend on Facebook that I've never met. He insisted on seeing me, but I always find excuses not to meet him because I'm afraid he won't like me in reality as he does online. What do I do?

Answer: Here's a longer version of an answer I gave to a similar question in the comments section of my article. There are a few reasons why you should be nervous about meeting a facebook friend. The main one is not knowing who they really are. Lots of people have fake facebook accounts. You don't want to set yourself up to be the victim of a crime. I don't know if you watch real crime stories on television or not but I've seen a bunch of news stories and documentaries about young girls (and even older women) who go out thinking they know who they are meeting, only to discover the guy is a rapist and/or murderer.

However if you are certain your friend is who they say and definitely goes to the school they say and all that kind of thing, you might choose to meet them. (In a public place, bringing a friend along for protection. And telling your family where you are going and who you are meeting!)

I don't think you should be afraid he won't like you in reality. Let's think about this, Your choice is to meet him and risk losing his friendship and interest ... or never meet him and ultimately lose his friendship and interest.

Either way, you lose out. The only way you could possibly have a future with him is to meet him, I guess. But if you are young, maybe you're better off waiting for a few years and see what happens then.

But whatever you do, don't send him photos of yourself that are inappropriate. And don't let your texting get hot and steamy. I'm guessing you are using a genuine Facebook account and so what you're writing today will probably stick around for a long time.

By the way, have you heard that Facebook is in trouble because their Private Messaging is not private? Lots of 'third parties' apparently have access to our private messaging. So it is a big mistake to assume that your private messages on Facebook will not come back to haunt you.

Even if the guy doesn't copy and paste our messages and photos for the world to see, advertisers can make our lives difficult. My understanding is that the content in PMs can be used to decide which ads are shown on our computers. So for instance if somebody sends sexy private messages to their partner, they might end up with ads on their computer they wouldn't want to show up at work (or even at home.) So I suggest it is becoming increasingly risky to try to develop any kind of relationship online.

Question: I like a boy. But I'm divorced and have a baby. How will he love me?

Answer: If you are divorced with a baby, you have the chance to impress a new guy with your maturity and mothering skills. I don't know how old you are but if you're young, don't fret. Sooner or later every guy gives thought to whether or not a girl he's interested in will make a good mother to his kids. So there's definitely going to be guys out there who will love you.

What bothers me a bit about your question is the way you say 'I like a boy.' You didn't say 'I like a guy' or 'a man.' So if you're telling me you're old enough to be married and divorced, and you have a baby, but your romantic target is still a boy, I'm suggesting you move on and look for someone else. (Unless you were a young bride and the guy is actually about your age.)

It seems to me you just have to be friendly and open in the way you speak to the guy .... and don't hide the fact you have a child. But be sensible about how you approach any new relationship. Obviously you've slept with the father of your child, but that shouldn't mean you are too quick to jump into bed with the next guy. Respect yourself and expect any future partners to respect you as well.

Some guys might be worried you'll fall pregnant to them as well, so be prepared to have that kind of conversation without being offended. We all know there are some girls/women who have lots of kids to lots of different fathers. If you're not like that, you need to be prepared to explain it. I do want you to remember that lots of guys respect a girl who has a baby instead of an abortion, even if they're not married.

My last point is more about your baby than the guy you like. You absolutely must give thought to whether or not any future partner is suitable for your child, just as much as if he is suitable for you. Why? Because your baby is an innocent passenger, who has no choice but to join you on the journey you take in life. There are way too many men in the world who treat babies badly. You don't want to risk the safety and happiness of your child in your pursuit of finding a new partner. At the first hint that a guy is not patient and caring and responsible towards your baby, dump the guy.

There are plenty more men in the world, but only one beautiful baby who loves you trusts you and needs you to provide a safe and loving home environment. So don't get caught up worrying about some guy is going to love you. You need a guy who loves you and your baby. It might take you a while to find him, but he'll be worth the wait.

Question: This boy likes me and I like him, but he wants to focus on religious practice before we start an actual relationship. Everyone knows we like each other. What do I do?

Answer: If I was in your position, I'd be encouraging him to go and do what he feels he needs to. If he wants to talk about a possible relationship in the future, he should give you a call. But there's no way either of you can predict what lies ahead or how many years it might be before he's ready, so I think you should leave yourself open to date other guys while he's busy doing his own thing.

Question: My boyfriend broke up with me. I want him back. So, what do I do?

Answer: The first thing I think you should do is try to identify the reasons he broke up with you. Some things can be fixed. But often we discover it is just time to move on.

Your next boyfriend might be a better match.

Question: I like a boy and I think he also likes me, but I don't think it's the right time to say "yes." What do I say?

Answer: If you are young and he asks you out, you could say something like "Thanks, Bobby (if that's his name). I like you, but I'm really not wanting to date for a few years." You could invite him to ask you out again when you're older, if you like. Or, just wait and see what happens in the future.

If you are older and it is because your life is complicated right now, just tell him. You say you like him, so I trust you'll treat him with kindness and respect. Don't forget to thank him for telling you how he feels. It doesn't hurt so much to be let down if the person is nice about it.

© 2012 Daniel Long

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