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How to Set Up Your Friends: A Step-by-Step Guide

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These tips can help you bring two friends together in a romantic relationship.

These tips can help you bring two friends together in a romantic relationship.

How to Help Your Friends Fall in Love: Matchmaking 101

How should you go about setting up two friends on a date? Can you introduce two friends and encourage a romantic spark to develop? There are different ways to play matchmaker, but before you do anything, there are a few things you must know, including how to get them to meet each other in a casual setting, play cupid, and let cute conversations turn into crushes and romantic dates.

Find out how you can successfully see two of your best friends fall in love after crushing on each other.

First, you should speak to each friend individually and briefly mention the other friend if they haven't already met.

First, you should speak to each friend individually and briefly mention the other friend if they haven't already met.

1. Give your friends a background if they haven't met before.

First, it's good to share some background if your friends haven't met before. Casually mention each friend to the other, and talk about how you know that friend and what they do. Keep the background brief and casual; don't go into details.

2. Ask both friends why they are still single.

Ask each friend why they are still single. Encourage them to consider dating by talking about the benefits of being in a relationship. This kind of conversation will get your friends thinking about getting back in the dating game. This will lay the foundation for the steps you will take later to set them up.

3. Introduce your friends to each other in a casual setting.

Before encouraging a romantic connection, it is a good idea to bring the two friends together to meet in a casual setting. Here are some fun things you all can do while you play matchmaker:

  • Go shopping together
  • Watch a movie
  • Go out together to the Friday night game
  • Go to a music concert

The idea is to do something fun without your friends having the slightest hint that you are trying to set them up. That way, they can be themselves without being dragged down by nervousness or social anxiety.

Introducing your friends in a casual setting is key. You're the mutual friend, so your job will be to keep things fun and casual when they meet for the first time.

Introducing your friends in a casual setting is key. You're the mutual friend, so your job will be to keep things fun and casual when they meet for the first time.

4. Excuse yourself so they can spend some time alone.

Excuse yourself when the three of you are hanging out so that your friends can have a conversation by themselves. This will warm things up a little, and they will get to know each other better.

Don't stay away for too long because that may lead to awkwardness between your friends. If one of your friends is shy, this awkwardness can easily turn into uneasiness and nervousness.

5. Say nice things about one friend to the other and vice versa.

Now that your friends have met, it's time for you to take things up a notch. Later, when talking to each of them, say nice things about one of them to the other and vice versa. For example:

  • "He is such a nice guy; out of all my friends, he is the only one who stood by me and cheered me up after my breakup."
  • "She is really focused, and she always seems to know what she wants, whether it is her studies, work, or something else."

Notice how each friend reacts, and try to take hints from their responses. Use insights from these conversations to determine the next steps of your matchmaking plot.

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6. Point out their common interests.

Make sure you point out common interests. For example, if the guy is really into music, tell him that the girl is a music buff too.

Be careful as you give your friends an insight into each others' personalities. Keep your sentences short and conversational so you don't sound obsessed and unnatural.

After the introduction, you'll want to chat with each friend to gauge their level of interest before moving forward.

After the introduction, you'll want to chat with each friend to gauge their level of interest before moving forward.

7. Ask suggestive questions to each friend about the other.

There's one last thing you must do before finally setting your friends up on a proper date. Before you take the plunge, you should have a fair idea of whether they have the slightest attraction to or a crush on each other.

Rather than asking open-ended questions, ask suggestive questions. For example:

  • "He is quite handsome, isn't he?"
  • "She is stunning, isn't she?"
  • "He is such a nice guy, and he is such a gentleman, don't you think?"
  • "She looked hot the other day in that little black dress, didn't she?"

8. Judge the situation before deciding to set them up.

The answers your friends give should help you gauge whether you should go ahead and set them up. If either one of them has any aversion to the other, it will be quite apparent when you ask the suggestive questions.

Think about how they have interacted with each other since they casually met for the first time. Think about their personalities, backgrounds, and near-term plans before you finally let them in on your matchmaking agenda.

If you're still not sure exactly how interested they are in each other, you can "accidentally" invite them on a date by backing out of an activity at the last minute, leaving the two of them to attend it together.

If you're still not sure exactly how interested they are in each other, you can "accidentally" invite them on a date by backing out of an activity at the last minute, leaving the two of them to attend it together.

Three Ways to Set Up Your Friends on a Date

Once you are sure that you want to go ahead and set your friends up on a date, there are a couple of ways to do it:

1. Convince your friends to go on a date.

The first way is pretty direct:

  • You talk to both of them about your matchmaking plans.
  • Tell them why you think that they will make a nice couple.
  • Remind them that there is no risk of ruining the friendship—they can continue being your friend regardless of the outcome.

Your friends may be reluctant initially, especially if one is shy. Put their worries to rest by saying that you will manage everything, including the location and time of the date. All they have to do is dress their best and turn up to impress.

2. Set them up on a date (by accident).

If you think that you want to let cupid and destiny take over after your initial efforts, set your friends up on an accidental date. Plan something that is not as simple as hanging out together at a cafe, but something that makes them spend at least a few hours together.

A movie night is an awesome idea. Here's how you should do this:

  1. Buy tickets to a movie for all three of you.
  2. Back out at the last minute under the pretext of becoming sick or having to go to an urgent meeting.
  3. Persuade them both to go even though you won't be able to make it.
  4. Cross your fingers and hope that they hit it off.
  5. Call both of them individually the next day to ask how it went.

3. Set them up by convincing the guy to ask the girl out.

Another way you can set your friends up is by taking the more traditional route. Talk to the guy and ask him if he has a crush on the girl and wants to go out with her. Assuming he says yes, encourage him to ask her out.

Now sit back and watch the love unfurl as your guy friend asks one of your besties out on a romantic date.

If the guy is pretty traditional, you can nudge him to ask the girl out to get the ball rolling.

If the guy is pretty traditional, you can nudge him to ask the girl out to get the ball rolling.

Don't try to set them up too quickly, but don't wait too long either.

Setting up your friends in a hurry without judging their compatibility can be a disaster if it doesn't work out. They won't be comfortable hanging out with you together, and if you force them, it can turn into a very awkward situation.

On the other hand, waiting too long could send them into the friend zone. One of them may start liking the other, but as time passes, it will be too late, and even the slightest hints of attraction will fizzle out as a casual friendship forms.

Tell them how cute a couple they make.

Once you set them up on a date and the relationship becomes a success, compliment them the next time you see them together. Playfully tease the new pair and tell them how cute of a couple they make.

Your compliments will make them feel good about themselves as a couple, helping them move quickly past the dating phase and into a loving relationship.

If they become a couple after all your efforts, congratulations! Your hard work as a matchmaker has paid off.

If they become a couple after all your efforts, congratulations! Your hard work as a matchmaker has paid off.

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