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How to Get Your Boyfriend's Attention and Make Him Want You More

I've been an online writer for over eight years. I love writing about relationships, love, romance, and flirting.

Practical rather than cheesy, this article looks at things you can do in your everyday life to make your boyfriend want you more and more. Let's forget complicated relationship advice and reverse psychology tips that ask you to ignore him—here is a 21st-century, no-nonsense guide to getting his attention.

Making your boyfriend want you is about knowing when to give and when to hold back.

Making your boyfriend want you is about knowing when to give and when to hold back.

1. Surprise Him: Walk, Talk, and Dress Like a Diva

Look at any of the popular women's magazines and you will find airbrushed pictures of dazzling divas on one page after another. Such flawless looks may not be possible in real life, but you will make your boyfriend want you more if you manage to pull it off once in a while. Don't confuse this with putting on kilos of makeup and displaying model-like behavior all the time. Just give him a glimpse of what you can transform into if you desired. Your sexy look will be engraved into his mind for a long, long time.

2. Take Charge: Ask Him Out for a Date Once in a While

It is no secret that the 21st-century woman still loves a chivalrous man. However, you'll probably surprise him if you make the first move and ask him out on a date for a change. This could go either way—he could feel relaxed and happy giving you the reins of planning your romantic rendezvous, or he could feel weirdly surprised watching you take charge. Either way, you will get his attention. Reserve the tables, drive him there, drop him off at his home, and look into his eyes as you say "I love you" and kiss him goodnight—do whatever it takes to show him that you can wear the pants, too.

3. Learn a Dance Move

Don't confuse this with learning how to dance—not all of us are comfortable shaking a leg. All you need to do to get your boyfriend's undivided attention is to learn a single dance move and bust it out at the right time. Whether it is a sexy twist or an elegant twirl, make sure to do it when he least expects it. You are likely to see raised eyebrows and a priceless look on his face.

4. Stop Calling Him Those Mushy Names

It's great to call your partner mushy and cute names, but you could risk falling in the "comfort zone" trap if you overdo it. No matter how sensitive your guy is, deep down inside, he is still a guy. He could possibly be turned off if you keep using cute names all the time. Think of how he would want to hear his name from a girl and call him by it often.

5. Put on a Stellar Performance in Bed

Many relationship gurus may tell you to abstain from sex if you want your boyfriend's attention and make him crave you even more, but that's exactly not the point here. If you and your guy have already taken your relationship to the bed, put on a stellar performance and leave him panting for more. Feel free to take initiative in the sack, dominating and satisfying him like never before. When he's not with you and starts to fantasize, all he will think about is you and only you.

Making your guy want you is all about striking the right balance in the world of love, relationships, comfort zones, emotion, sex, pride, and success.

Making your guy want you is all about striking the right balance in the world of love, relationships, comfort zones, emotion, sex, pride, and success.

6. Support Him and Massage His Ego

Ego plays a massive role in a guy's personality, and so does the presence of a supportive partner. Just like you love to lean on his shoulder, make sure that yours is available when he needs one. Be supportive of the things he does and what he believes in. Give him compliments when he is feeling down to give his confidence a slight boost. Slowly but surely, he will be addicted to the kick he gets every time he is with you. And as a bonus, this feeling will make him miss you every time he is away from you.

7. Learn How to Say No

Just like how women may not want to be with men who are pushovers, men will love it if the woman in their arms is not one either. Show him that you know when to put your foot down and say no in both your personal and professional life. Not only will you make him want you more, but he will also have high regard and respect for you as an individual.

8. Focused on Your Own Life and Be Successful

Guys like girls who have focus, whether it is in their studies, sports, career, or any other activity. Show him that you are a woman with dreams, passion, and ambition. Focus on your own life and vigorously pursue whatever you are doing at the moment. Men are naturally attracted to successful women—if you manage to become one, there is little more you will need to do to make him want you more and more.

9. Carry a High Level of Confidence

We all love to hang out with people who are confident and have high levels of self-respect. A confident personality automatically attracts attention and over time, garners respect. Your boyfriend will beam with pride when he walks alongside you.

10. Be Attached, but Don't Be Needy

The best thing about being in love is that you get to share your life with somebody you care about. Being in a relationship itself is all about depending on each other, but things can take a frustrating turn if one partner becomes too needy. Would you like it if you had a possessive boyfriend to deal with? Assuming the answer is no, if you find yourself heavily depending on your guy for just about everything, you should take a time out and give your relationship a fresh twist. Show him that you are an independent person who can get things done on your own.

11. Show Him That You Have a Life of Your Own

It's good to be absorbed in your partner's life and spend hour after hour cuddling and doing all the naughty things a couple is supposed to do. But at the end of the day, people like to be around folks who have a life of their own—partners included. It is fine if you can't talk to him for a few days because you have been busy with a group project at college. It is ok if you chose to skip a date just because you have to stay back at work to finish something on a tight deadline. Making him want you more is all about making him realize that you are a passionate girl who has a fire in her heart and a plan in her head, living life on her own terms.


abdul on August 20, 2020:

he never gives me attention until i text him myself then he will reply

Clair on August 11, 2020:

I have been talking to someone on social media for 2 years now we get on really well but haven't met yet i really want to and he says he wants to but he wont a range a time or day to he just keeps saying we will soon i promise so why do you think he keeps putting this off

Monae on July 20, 2020:

Read More From Pairedlife

i have a boyfriend but i already do all of this stuff but i want him to want me more than i want him and all he does is play call of duty and xbox games what should i do

Jaia on July 16, 2020:

this really speaks to me..thank you

lea on July 07, 2020:

boyfriend plays games on his xbox and shows no attention to me at all.

Indee on June 28, 2020:

Hi I have I boyfriend and this facts haved helped me

aleesha on June 25, 2020:

this is what happens all the time i am here to read this article because i am done searching on how to avoid misunderstandings and trying my best. we have been dating since 2 years now i am a typical girlfriend who love emotional talks and asking him to do this do that for me in a relationship its like our way of showing love which is our love languages are different. which makes it hard for us to understand each other and makes it toxic .this article really helps me to grow and concentrate much on myself but on the other hand its like should i really need to change who i am to make this work.

stacey on June 19, 2020:

so cute

COD on June 03, 2020:

My boyfriend and i have been dating for 1 year and 6 months in the beggining it was all the puppy love lovey dovey phase and things started changing... He is a very out going person and socialable spontaneous... And i love this about him but mostly because i do things with him too and he makes me want to do new exciting things too.. My problem is recently he became very insecure and needy and we broke up and we made things work he expressed himself and his feelings towards some issuses that im trying to help us grow into as a couple but it seems like he is trying to shift everything to me the blame to new fights its always me... He is degrading and insulting at times... I love him alot and i want him to be my life partner and to get married and settle down and have kids but i dont think his mindset is on the same track as mine... My problem is he recently started playing call of duty and when i go to visit him we watch movies and then he wants to play games while im there to spend time with him and i spoke to him about it but he became defensive and said alot of mean things and has not apologized to me.... I dont know if its me or am i just being over needy but i feel like he wants me to be all about him and he can choose when to show me affection

James the GIRL on May 22, 2020:

I will try these he is very weird

Kat on May 16, 2020:

Partner and I have been together for 5 years, and this last year has been less than exciting to say the least. It’s the same shit different day from them, and I am at a loss on how to shake up my relationship so we can both feel more emotionally and physically fulfilled. I am very vocal about my emotions and how their actions make me feel, but honestly it goes in one ear and out the other! I feel like an old married couple celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary! And not in the good way haha. They don’t necessarily do anything WRONG but I’m struggling with finding ways to articulate my feelings on how mundane our life has become. I need to feel real human emotion from my partner and right now it feels like they are just going through the motions. It is a hard spot to get out of.

Any and all advise is helpful. :)

Shugs on May 08, 2020:

He said that I should give him space

Briana on May 07, 2020:

Every time I try to give my boyfriend a kiss he always avoids it by moving his head in a different direction at first it was cute but he has been doing it for the past 4 months when I told him to stop he just changed how to avoid more by biting any piece of fabric it’s now really getting on my nerves any ideas

McKenzie on May 02, 2020:

My boyfriend likes to FaceTime me and then make me watch him play games. I’ve tried talking to him about it before and I’m not the person to share my feelings so telling him was really hard for me. It seemed like he was listening and he said he would fix it but he has done absolutely nothing to improve. I feel so bored when ever we talk and most of the time I end up crying on the phone and he doesn’t even notice cause he’s too busy watching YouTube. I feel like I’m stuck in a never ending loop. Every time he calls me I know what’s going to happen. I’ve started lying to him and saying that I’m busy and can’t talk and I feel horrible for doing that but I’m tired of sitting there with nothing to do and no one to talk to. I love him so much and I really want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I’m afraid that if I say something he’s going to break up with me. I’m so lost what do I do?

Dreams joy collins on April 29, 2020:

You are such a wonderful advicer .... thank you very much and God bless you

Anonymous on April 20, 2020:

My boyfriends just a dick and I want him to not be a dick so let’s hope this works

toyah pryor on April 16, 2020:

hello i am concerned because i want to spend more time with him and we talk like everyday and i dont even get i love u and its only the early stages and i want him bad to love me and care for me is there any way i can do it. i love him so much and i feel like he doesnt because he said i wanted a break from this but we are still talking so i dont get it

sadlonelythot on April 04, 2020:

didnt work he still no lovvvvvveddd me

Alejandra on January 22, 2020:

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and know each other for about 4 years but the thing is I feel like he rather spend his time on his computer than me, like if I try go get his attention it’ll take about 25-30 min just for a split second and then back to his computer everyday we go home and as soon as we go inside he just goes straight to his computer and the worst part is when I want to go bed I expect him to say goodbye to his friends who he’s been chatting with all this time and come sleep with me but what I get instead is Around 2:45am I’ll feel sleepy and tell him “ I’m going to bed, come with me” and his response is “ I’ll be there in a second” then I go to bed feeling depressed and wanting to cry myself to sleep but then he’ll come to bed at 5:00 am because he’s finally tired but there are days where he goes to bed around 3:45 am and I go with him even if I’m not tired and I’m the morning the first thing he does is not wake me up and tell me good morning no it’s off the bed and straight to the computer with him and I’ve tried telling him how I feel and he just think that I want some space from him.

Another problem is I feel like he’s controlled every single thing of apart of my life like I used to have friend and I wanna go out and go dancing or something than stay at home all day but my boyfriend thinks that all my friends are bad influence and I shouldn’t hang out with them he has persuaded me into thinking that he’s the only person I need and I’ve been nothing but depressed because of this I feel like I’m trapped and have no where to go.

Priscilla on January 13, 2020:

My boyfriend ND I ave been together for almost 6years... Buh late last year we started having issues....he complains abt everything I do... He doesn't want to spend time with me.... He doesn't even feel attached to me sexually or emotionally anymore.... Am confused

I don't know if he has a new gal or is he tired of me?? If so y does he tells me he loves me more than I can imagine.... How do i get him back fully... I really love him if not I could have left d relationship cos I am no more comfortable with his attitude towards me

Mary on December 22, 2019:

My bf when he’s with me he makes me feel so much love. But I’m very picky about everything and that push him away. He can’t understand me cause we both come from different world. I love him & he cares so much about me. Now he feel like I’m just ti much to deal with and he need some time. I don’t know if I want to wait around or move on. He want to have a future with me but we both know he’s not financially stable and mentally disabled at this time. I pay for everything while he’s looking for a job. We don’t have the same value, and I want him happy I feel like he needed someone like me to give him a better life but it seems that he don’t understand that. My question here Should I give him time and have patience or should I give him his all the time and move on?

Bunny on November 18, 2019:

my boyfriend always lie to me n sometimes he does not have time me our love n i am thinking of cheating to

ivet on November 17, 2019:

im sitting next to him crying, dying and hes just ignoring me. SOMEONE GIVE ME LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Llsidhfbdnd on November 10, 2019:

I love my boyfriend very much and he loves me but I want to get closer than we are..

BABY on November 09, 2019:

my boyfriend don't love me why?

Beacka on November 09, 2019:

This is very cool

Jenna on September 27, 2019:

That was very helpful. Thank you so much

lovekitties on August 21, 2019:

While I agree with most things in the article, one thing for sure especially #6 if you are going to do this with your man, you better keep it up or it will end once he sees the "real you". And that goes for any of these tips in this article. If you are not going to be true to yourself or to him, don't even do this. This article is a guide and is to be used as such, don't change yourself to be what he wants, but for you to be a better more caring supportive person, if you want to be that.

Indigo on June 29, 2019:

Great article!

Anya on June 18, 2019:

Thanks so much.This helped a lot!

Ella on April 21, 2019:

it worked we just got done 2 minuets ago it was awesome

My mom on April 04, 2019:

It didn’t work he’s still playing Pokémon

Kris on March 02, 2019:

its nice ig

Bubbles on October 20, 2018:

Forget everything you just read and be yourselves ladies and for heavens sake tell us you want us. Nothing sounds better to us than the woman we love, want and lust for telling us they want us, and bad too. And your welcome :)

patricia on January 27, 2018:

Thanks for this advice, and I'm proof that it works.

Michele Kelsey from Edmond, Oklahoma on June 12, 2013:

Wow, I really liked some of your advice. I know most of that, but I really needed to hear it again. I'm not doing a great job at being unattached and being independent. lol. I put drinking glasses around the house over our bugs to let him kill them when he gets home. lol. I guess I should suck it up and pick them up and not be such a needy baby about that. Heck, I've done it before. Just not my favorite chore. Thanks for the encouragement!

Carla Dominique from Philippines on August 21, 2012:

Very nice hub.

Glenn Stok from Long Island, NY on July 28, 2012:

You did a great job at writing this. As a guy, I was interested in reading your hub because I wanted to see what you'd say women should do.

As it turns out I once had a girlfriend who did exactly those things. However, she had one flaw which caused the eventual breakup. She had temper tantrums. But doing all the things that you mentioned here had kept me around for many years.

It's unfortunate that a woman can behave as you said and yet fail with one important issue. I'm not saying a woman has to be perfect. For that matter, there were other issues too. But I didn't care about them since she was a wonderful, loving, and intelligent person. But having temper tantrums was an extreme negativity that got in the way.

The point I'm making is that following your instructions all by itself is not sufficient if there is an extreme problem in someone's personality.

But, nevertheless, it's important to know what you said. And it's important that these things are ingrained in one's personality and not done for the purpose of trying to win over their partner.

With that said, I found your hub very informative and helpful and I voted up. on July 28, 2012:

PWAP have you tested this??? I would have thought you just need to be YOURSELF! which could include trying some of this stuff out on a boyfriend for fun - I must say it's really nice to know girls might be trying to please guys - returning the favors! Voted up

Rob from Oviedo, FL on July 28, 2012:

Interesting to hear the secrets of the other side.

Well done,


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