I love writing about relationships, love, romance, and flirting. I hope you find the advice in my articles useful.
How to Flirt With a Guy Over Text
These tips are sure to make him think about you even when you're both offline. This article includes the following advice:
- Don't Wait for Him to Send the First Message
- Use a Fun Opening Line and Avoid the Dull Greeting
- Use Well-Placed GIFs and Emojis
- Subtly Play With His Imagination
- Keep Cool When Handling Naughty Replies
- Make Him Think About Meeting You
- Space Out Your Messages so the Conversation Lasts Longer
- Wait for His Reply Before Sending Another Text
- Compliment Him Frequently
I have also included social media advice and self-care tips to keep in mind to preserve your sanity.
1. Don't Wait for Him to Send the First Message
There is no reason for you to wait around for your crush to send you a text if you really like him and want to have a conversation. Stop worrying about coming across as needy.
A harmless little text is not going to make you look desperate. Flirting is a two-way street that someone has to initiate. If he really is your crush, then there is no reason why you should shy away from being the first one to send a message.
2. Use a Fun Opening Line; Avoid the Dull Greeting
You aren't leaving much of an opportunity for your crush to add to the conversation if you just send a boring "hi" text with a smiley face. Instead, seize the opportunity to make a good first impression by sending a thoughtful first message to him. The best part about using a good opening line is that you will already have the conversation rolling.
The idea is to reach out with a specific observation or a thoughtful question. These are the kinds of conversation starters that will allow you two to get to know each other more efficiently. Below are some flirty ideas that you can personalize to your liking:
- I could see you sleeping in class today.
- The last meme you posted was hella funny.
- I'm listening to your favorite rapper.
- I'm at your favorite pizza spot.
- I caught your performance today; you were awesome on the drums.
3. Use Well-Placed GIFs and Emojis
A well-timed emoji or GIF can add excitement to the conversation. Make use of these tools to help you express yourself and show your playful, witty side when words just don't cut it.
4. Subtly Play With His Imagination
The best part about flirting with guys over text is that you can play with their imaginations. Try sending an ambiguous message that looks totally innocent at face value. The idea is to put just enough bait out there to get his dirty little mind stimulated.
Here are some suggestions:
- It's cold; I wore the wrong shirt.
- Did you know that you should actually take a cold shower after the gym?
- Thanks again for the Cash App. I'm trying on the new tops I bought.
- Next time I see you, it's on sight.
- I forgot to do my laundry last week, and I'm not a nudist, so I'm not coming.
- I've been going hard at the gym. My gains have gains.
5. Keep Your Cool When Handling Naughty Replies
If you tried tip number 4, then be fully prepared to deal with dirty responses without sounding loose because that can temporarily ruin your image. There is a fine line between being flirty and dirty—respect it. I recommend the switch-a-roo. When he goes dirty, you go innocent.
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Let's observe an example.
- You: It's so cold; I wore the wrong shirt.
Him: You're going to poke somebody's eyes out with those nipples!
- You: I meant my shirt is too short . . . ;).
The idea is to leave him alone in the dark and change the topic without stooping down to his level (at ground zero, where you set the bait.) Substitute the wink for a winking emoji because it has a universal application when it comes to flirting.
6. Make Him Think About Meeting You
Use suggestive language that will lead him to think about meeting you in person. Don't be too direct and say, "I want to meet you so that I know you're not a catfish." Instead, use a less in-your-face, open-ended suggestion:
- Thanks for picking up my FaceTime. We should try to see each other in person sometime.
- You were right; the [enter his sports team here] are killing it. We should watch a game together, maybe?
- Me and some friends are meeting up for Happy Hour after class tomorrow. You should come.
- I never knew you were into foreign films; we should watch one together sometime.
7. Space Out Your Messages so That Your Conversation Lasts Longer
The trick to maintaining the excitement when you're texting your crush is to span out your messages over a couple of hours or days even. Don't use all of your tricks to flirt with him right away.
If he takes five or ten minutes to reply, then you should do the same. The idea is to make sure that things don't happen too fast so that your flirty conversation of five to ten messages can span over a couple of hours. This will heighten the excitement and give him the feeling that chatting with you can never get boring.
8. Wait for His Reply Before Sending Another Text
One of the biggest mistakes a girl can make while flirting with her crush is to jump the gun and send a second message before he replies to her previous one. Never hurry. Calmly wait for his response, even if it takes hours.
9. Compliment Him Frequently
You will have a guy hooked to talking with you if you continuously compliment him. It doesn't take a lot of effort to boost the male ego. Just stick to the classic ego-boosting compliments that will attract your crush like a magnet. Take a look at some of these ideas:
- I saw you for the first time in a while today. Have you been working out?
- You are such a smooth talker.
- I love your car. It looks tough, just like you.
- I know a few girls in class who have a crush on you. Looks like you are in demand.
How to Flirt on Social Media
The great thing about the internet is that you can flirt and build rapport before making an in-person commitment. Let's keep it simple, and remember—flirting on social media is very similar to flirting over text. Keep these tips in mind after you hit the follow button on your's crush page:
Don't like that selfie right away.
Let the hype of his thirst trap die down before you double-tap it. That way, you're the last person to like it, which means your name will come up as a notification by itself. That's free marketing because you're more likely to get noticed!
Comments are key.
Going on a liking spree isn't always ideal, and liking that selfie from last year is a move that should be left to the professionals. If you really want to make your intentions known, leave a comment. An appropriately clever comment is worth 1,000 likes. Keep it short, and try personalizing it with an observation on the caption or photo itself.
Show him what he's missing.
Men are visual critters. Give him a look into the amazing life that you're living by sending him a photo of you out with your girls or enjoying a treacherous hike on your story. Be careful, though. Sometimes your crush may take that as an opportunity to try and elicit a photo after hours. Tread carefully.
Tag your crush in memes and videos.
The types of memes and viral videos you're into are intrinsically tied to your personality. If you have rapport with your crush then supplement your interactions with content that you find hilarious. Twitter is a breeding ground for this content and a go-to for connecting with your crush.
Wait for reciprocation.
If your crush isn't on the same wavelength as you and isn't replying or liking your photos, then take a hint. You don't want to be that weirdo that comments on every single photo and doesn't get a reply or a like in return. See the advice in the next section for keeping the ball rolling.
While you want to make your presence known to your crush, there's a fine line between flirting and stalking. Don't lose your self-respect for the sake of being noticed. Pick and choose your spots.
Take Care of Number One
Sometimes we want someone to like us so bad that we neglect to like ourselves. Stay balanced while flirting with your crush with the following tips.
Adopt an Abundant Mentality
Try a relaxed, carefree approach to your flirty conversations. Sometimes, anxious feelings come up when we are texting someone we are attracted to, for example, if they don't text back right away. This is especially true if you both are talking for the first time. The best thing to do is to carry yourself like you have nothing to lose because, at the end of the day, you've made it this far in life without that person.
Don't Dwell on the Past
Don't panic if you say something risky or offensive that doesn't get a response. People get their feelings hurt easily nowadays, and a common mistake we make is to start apologizing profusely. Sometimes doing that can dig you in a deeper hole when the best solution is was to offer one genuine apology for the offense and move on.
Flirting through text message should be fun, so focus on having a good time. Smile, laugh at yourself, be a sarcastic smart-ass, and don't ever take yourself too seriously. If you do that and remain true to yourself, then there's a good chance that you'll get your crush smiling and laughing along with you.
zuleidy on April 30, 2020:
there are ways to contact to start a conversation...
the article is well but I should add
make it funny
and you must be a real person
there i wrote some tips to check out
Sammie on April 30, 2020:
I think your words are perfect thanks for the advice
Fin from Barstow on April 17, 2020:
Some amusing tips - I especially like how to tone down remarks with a witty responses (the nipple one).
i have to honestly wonder how often you have tried this tips - as well as to what guys you have engaged in these practices with.
A bit amusing i guess you were trying to be.
.ahem....btw...I heard that a lot of people were read your piece on the bus and liked the way your words tasted...um....nevermind that didn't come out the way i wanted it to.
Wtrmln on April 12, 2020:
Little does John down there know, we can't talk in person anymore
on March 24, 2020:
john who hurt you ?
Jonathan on September 20, 2019:
Hope on May 14, 2019:
I like this boy and I don't know if he likes me back but me and him always text each other and he starts the conversation a lot of times and if don't know if he likes likes me back,
and he always says hi to me I the hallways at school
John on July 25, 2017:
This should be titled "how to annoy a guy with text messages". Guys use texting as a means of communicating to accomplish something. It's merely exchanging needed information, and guys prefer you do it as efficiently as possible. If you want to flirt or whatever, do it in person. Texting is not to have a conversation. Pick up the phone if you want to do that - except most of us hate talking on the phone too. Better yet, how about you just leave us alone?
Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 23, 2013:
Interesting about sending text messages in the flirting ways, great ideas