How to Flirt With a Guy Over Text Messages

Updated on November 12, 2019

Wondering how to flirt with a guy over text? Whether it is your high school crush, college eye candy or just a cute guy you have been friends with, you can never go wrong in flirting with him if you send the right message at the right time.

This post discusses ideas for flirty messages and how you can keep your SMS chat conversations alive. Get some tips and hook him like a hungry fish with your tricks. Make him think about you even when you are not texting.

1. Don't Wait for Him to Message

There is no reason for you to keep waiting for your crush to send you a text message if you really like him and want to have a conversation with him. Stop worrying about coming across as needy.

A harmless little text is not going to make you look desperate at all. Flirting is a two way street but someone has to initiate it. If he is your crush, there is no reason why you should shy away from being the first one to send a message.

2. Use a Sweet Opener Instead of Just Sending a "Hi"

You really leave no option for a guy to reply to your text message with anything other than a bland Hi if you send a boring Hi accompanied with a smiley. Instead, use a nice opener in your first text message to him.

The best part about using an opening line is that you will already have a conversation rolling. There will be an awkward gap between exchanging text messages when neither of you has anything to follow up with after saying Hi. Below are some first-text ideas that you can personalize:

  • I could see you sleeping in class today
  • Your last tweet was hilarious
  • I was thinking about that yummy ice cream we had the other day
  • I am listening to your favorite band
  • It was nice to have lunch with you
  • I am at your favorite pizza place
  • I saw your performance today and you were awesome on the drums

3. Use a Lot of Winks ;)

A wink can make any text message seem flirty. It has the power to make the most simple of messages sound sexy. Along with winks, increase the use of smiley's and other cute stuff like xoxo.

For instance, notice the difference in tone in these two text messages. The whole vibe of the message turns flirty and the naughty wink adds a lot of mystery too.

  • We should hang out together.. It will be a lot of fun
  • We should hang out.. we can do a lot of fun stuff together ;)

4. Flirt Harder and Tickle His Temptations Subtly by Playing With His Imagination

The best part about flirting with guys over text is that you can play a lot with their imaginations. You can literally make a guy go wild by sending text messages that can be innocent on face value, but open to many interpretations.

The trick is to say something that will make his dirty mind starting ticking. There are many other ways to do this apart from the commonly used 'I am changing my clothes' text message to flirt with guys. Here are some ideas.

  • I just spilled water on my top while texting you
  • I was tired after gym but now I feel better after my hot shower
  • Thanks for coming with me to the mall.. Now I am trying on some of the new tops I bought
  • Next time we meet, we should do something exciting ;)
  • I forgot to do my laundry last week and now I have nothing to wear
  • The results of my workouts are awesome.. I am looking in the mirror right now and liking what I see
  • I am getting ready for my sister's birthday party but can't decide whether to wear a short black skirt or shorts

5. Handle Naughty Replies Without Crossing the Line

A guy will send you a naughty reply if you flirt with him by sending a text message that tickles his temptations. You must be prepared to handle such replies without sounding like a loose girl because that will ruin your image. There is a fine line between flirty and dirty. Never cross this line.

Let's look at an example used in the earlier point.

  • You: I forgot to do my laundry last week and now I have nothing to wear
  • Him: So, you are wearing nothing right now?
  • You: ;) ..So how was class today?

Instead of replying in a yes or no, you have again left him wondering by using a wink and then quickly changing the topic. The wink has universal application when it comes to flirting.

6. Make Him Think About Meeting You

Use suggestions in your text messages that make him think about meeting you. Don't be too direct and say 'I want to meet you.' Instead, use lesser in-your-face and possibly open-ended suggestions that make him think about being with you.

  • It was nice to have lunch with you, we should hang out more often don't you think?
  • I think I am beginning to like football... we should watch a game together maybe?
  • Me and some friends are going for coffee after class tomorrow, you should come
  • I never knew you were into foreign films, we should watch one together sometime

7. Don't Reply Immediately: Wait at Least Five Minutes

Replying to all his text messages instantly will make it apparent that you have nothing better to do but to chat with him. It can also make you look clingy or needy, especially if he is with his friends. Wait for at least five minutes before you begin to type out your reply.

There are many signals that this waiting game gives out including showing that you may be busy or that you are preoccupied but you still want to speak to him.

8. Space Out Your Text Messages So That Your Conversation Lasts Longer

The trick to maintaining the excitement is to span out your messages over a couple of hours or even days. Don't use all the tricks to flirt with him in just one go.

As you press the send button, he will take five to ten minutes to reply and you should take the same amount of time to respond to him. Make sure that this cycle does not happen too fast so that your flirty conversation of five to ten messages each, spans out over a couple of hours. This will heighten the excitement and give him the feeling that chatting with you can never get boring.

9. Wait for His Reply Before Sending Another Text Message

One of the biggest mistakes a girl can make while flirting with her crush is to jump the gun and send a second message before he replies to her earlier one. Don't hurry. Calmly wait for his response, even if it takes hours.

You will instantly appear clingy and desperate if you follow up your first message with 'Did you get my earlier message?' before he replies. If he does not reply even after you have waited over an hour, play it cool and ask him why he did not reply to your text message when you see him the next day.

10. Ask Him Questions Which Need Elaborate Answers

Even the most random of messages has the potential to become flirty if they are left open ended. You can start a flirty conversation with a man by using the same trick.

Instead of asking a question that can be replied to with a yes or a no, ask a question that makes him think. The answer itself should unfold into a flirty chat between the both of you.

For instance, see how flirty a question can get if it is given a playful twist, made complete with a naughty wink.

  • So, I guess you must be watching the game tonight?
  • So, I guess you must be watching the game tonight.. we could have watched it together if you explained it to me what do you say? ;)

11. Compliment Him Frequently

You will have a guy hooked to chatting with you over text messages if you keep giving him compliments. It doesn't take a lot of effort to boost the male ego. Just stick to the classic ego boosting compliments that will attract your crush like a magnet. Take a look at some ideas to compliment him.

  • I saw you for the first time in a while today, have you been working out?
  • You are such a smooth talker
  • I love your car.. it looks tough, just like you
  • I know a few girls in class who have a crush on you, looks like you are in demand

12. Don't Write Anything That You Wouldn't Want Someone Else to Read

The most important thing to remember while sending flirty messages is to never send anything that you wouldn't want someone else to read. You never know if one of his friends might be reading your messages. Avoid embarrassment and protect your own self-image by being smart and refraining from sending something stupid or vulgar.

More Tips for Keeping the Ball Rolling

Keep an Abundant Mentality

Developing an abundant mentality can help deal with distracting emotions. Adopt a relaxed, carefree approach to your flirtatious conversations. Sometimes anxious feelings can arise when we are texting someone we are attracted to, for example, if they don't text back right away, especially if it is the first time. The best approach is to carry yourself like you have nothing to lose.

Take Chances

It's okay to take chances in messages. Don't be afraid to drop an appropriate reference now and then if you feel moved to do so. If you feel nervous about this keep in mind that most people are more forgiving of others who cross the line and acknowledge when they do so than those who are afraid to take chances in the first place.

Don’t dwell in the past

Don't panic if you say something risky or offensive that doesn't get a response. A common mistake people make is tp start apologizing profusely. Sometimes that digs you in a deeper hole when the best solution is to offer one genuine apology for the offense, and move on.

Have Fun

Flirting through text message should be fun, so focus on having a good time. Don't take yourself to serious. Smile and laugh at yourself, and there’s a good chance you’ll get your partner smiling and laughing as well.


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    • profile image


      2 months ago


    • loveshifu profile image

      Love Shifu 

      3 months ago

      Sending flirty texts to your guy is one of the best way to make your bonding stronger and also make your relationship interesting. Not only it will make your guy smile, they are also a way to make him go crazy for you. I have also written a blog post on flirty texts which you can find below:

    • profile image


      6 months ago

      I like this boy and I don't know if he likes me back but me and him always text each other and he starts the conversation a lot of times and if don't know if he likes likes me back,

      and he always says hi to me I the hallways at school

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      This should be titled "how to annoy a guy with text messages". Guys use texting as a means of communicating to accomplish something. It's merely exchanging needed information, and guys prefer you do it as efficiently as possible. If you want to flirt or whatever, do it in person. Texting is not to have a conversation. Pick up the phone if you want to do that - except most of us hate talking on the phone too. Better yet, how about you just leave us alone?

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      6 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Interesting about sending text messages in the flirting ways, great ideas


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