I'm a small town woman from Rhode Island. My mission in life is to share knowledge and reach out to everyone of all races and sexes.
For Savvy Women Only
I'll say it right now: this article is not for anyone looking to be in a committed relationship. Or for the lady who is saving herself for marriage. This is for my open-minded ladies who know what they want: FUN.
How do you have the fun you want without the headache of a relationship? How do you keep things drama-free? I have some rules to live by if you want to be successful at playing the game. When you're done reading, leave some of your own tips in the comments.
Like Hova says, "Ladies is pimps too," so go on, brush your shoulders off.
Tip #1: Leave Your Heart at the Door!
It should go without saying: don't fall in love. You simply will not be a successful player if you leave your heart exposed. Why? Because if you develop feelings for your conquests you will feel guilty every time you are with someone else.
Plus, you will want to come clean, and this won't end well for you or him. (Imagine the conversation: "I set out to use you for sex, but then you where so good at it that now I think I want a relationship with you." Ouch.) So how do you leave your heart at the door? Don't lose sight of your goal: to have the best sexual experience you can. Nothing more, and nothing less.
You don't have to make every encounter a quickie, but when you cuddle with him after sex remember not to get too personal. You don't want to wear your heart on your sleeve. Practice a quick, graceful exit from the bedroom. Just give him a few minutes to be sentimental, then politely shoo him away.
Tip #2: Never Do a Virgin
Do you want a huge headache and a full box of voicemails? Then have sex with a guy who's never had sex before. With all your sexual talent, he will fall for you after one night. Just be up front about your intentions and don't go for the nice men. Look for the guys who are looking for the same thing.
You don't want to hurt the nice men out there who seriously want to have a relationship. That's not being a player; that's just cold. Don't let him try to convince you that he's cool with it and just wants to sleep with you. Believe me, this is so untrue! You put it down real good, and if you give it to him once he'll come crawling back, trying hope against hope that you'll change your mind. You don't need that drama.
Tip #3: Keep Your Phone Off and Delete, Delete, Delete
When you're with a guy, the worst thing that can happen is your phone going off or you getting sexy text messages from someone else. He'll find out that you're playing him, and might not take to kindly to it. If it happens, dump him immediately and move on to the next one. Better to avoid the situation completely when you are with him and keep your phone off. If you must have it on, make sure your old text messages and voicemails are deleted.
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Be careful with your contacts! Don't have anyone's number saved into your phone as, say, "Booty Call #1." In fact, don't save their number into your phone at all. Write down your contact numbers, with a phrase that reminds you whose it is. Worst-case scenario is that a text pops up, and you just say it's an ex-boyfriend or an old flame. Avoid the situation all together by making it clear to guys that you don't want their random texts, and that you will contact them when you want to hook up. If he breaks the rules then dump him and move on.
Also, try not to conduct your player business over the Internet. Things like Facebook, Twitter, or MySpace will create a digital trail that can be led back to you. Don't give exes the opportunity to look you up and contact you whenever they want.
Tip #4 Always Use Protection
You don't want to end up pregnant and not know who the child's father is. And you don't want to catch any sexually transmitted infections. To prevent these things, use two forms of protection. Be on birth control and have him use a condom. Birth control can fail if you forget to take the pill at a certain time, and if that happen want to be protected by a condom.
Never let a guy talk you into not using a condom by saying things like: it feels better without it, I promise I'm clean, you're on birth control so why does it matter, etc. Explain directly that you take no chances when it comes to your health. If he keeps giving you static, tell him that you plan to do it so good that he will forget the condom is there. If he still doesn't bite then tell him to get out. Simple! There will be other men who will give you less fuss and more action.
Tip #5: Never Keep the Same Men Around for Too Long
This is the most important tip, and the one I honestly wish someone had told me before I went around having fun. When you start seeing a new guy, have an expiration date. Don't see a guy for more than three months! Longer than that, and you will develop feelings for him. Especially if he is super good at giving you what you want. Leave him even more quickly if you are finding it hard not to see him when requested. Or if you're skipping out seeing your others because he is at the top of your dance card.
This is bad business. If you start having conversations with him after sex about the things you have in common, you've gone too far. Cut it off. You have to remember that if a guy has agreed to certain terms, then they are just as much of a player as you are. They just might be better at it. Nothing is greater for a player's ego than to make another female player fall for him. It doesn't mean he will stop doing what he does. It just will make you his fool to explore, and give him the power to push new terms. Think threesomes, etc. So update your contacts regularly, and change your number if need be. You don't want the old ruining the new.
Final Words: Moving On and Finding a Relationship
Yes, I'm going to give you some final words like Jerry Springer. People say women can't be players, but they can if they have the right mindset. You need to turn off the part of you that just wants to be loved and focus on having great sex.
I have to be honest though, this lifestyle does get boring after a while. Once you're awesome at sex, know what you want sexually, and know how to give it sexually then there's nothing left to strive for. You may seek more. That's when it's time to hang up your pimp hat and leave the past in the past. If you decide you want a relationship, go get one. You don't have to tell someone you're serious about your player days unless you want to. If he wants to know where you got your skills in the bed from, just tell him that it's natural and that you've always known what you want.
When you do move on, don't go looking for a man in the places you met the other guys. People may remember you. Don't let him meet your friends, even girlfriends, from those days. Keep what happened to yourself until you have settled into marriage. Then, if you want to clear the air tell him and explain why you never told him, and end the conversation with a big "I Love You".