How to Be a Successful Female Player

Updated on June 20, 2016

For Savvy Women Only

I'll say it right now: this article is not for anyone looking to be in a committed relationship. Or for the lady who is saving herself for marriage. This is for my open-minded ladies who know what they want: FUN.

How do you have the fun you want without the headache of a relationship? How do you keep things drama-free? I have some rules to live by if you want to be successful at playing the game. When you're done reading, leave some of your own tips in the comments.

Like Hova says, "Ladies is pimps too," so go on, brush your shoulders off.

Tip #1: Leave Your Heart at the Door!

It should go without saying: don't fall in love. You simply will not be a successful player if you leave your heart exposed. Why? Because if you develop feelings for your conquests you will feel guilty every time you are with someone else.

Plus, you will want to come clean, and this won't end well for you or him. (Imagine the conversation: "I set out to use you for sex, but then you where so good at it that now I think I want a relationship with you." Ouch.) So how do you leave your heart at the door? Don't lose sight of your goal: to have the best sexual experience you can. Nothing more, and nothing less.

You don't have to make every encounter a quickie, but when you cuddle with him after sex remember not to get too personal. You don't want to wear your heart on your sleeve. Practice a quick, graceful exit from the bedroom. Just give him a few minutes to be sentimental, then politely shoo him away.

Tip #2: Never do a Virgin

Do you want a huge headache and a full box of voicemails? Then have sex with a guy who's never had sex before. With all your sexual talent, he will fall for you after one night. Just be up front about your intentions and don't go for the nice men. Look for the guys who are looking for the same thing.

You don't want to hurt the nice men out there who seriously want to have a relationship. That's not being a player; that's just cold. Don't let him try to convince you that he's cool with it and just wants to sleep with you. Believe me, this is so untrue! You put it down real good, and if you give it to him once he'll come crawling back, trying hope against hope that you'll change your mind. You don't need that drama.

Tip #3: Keep Your Phone Off and Delete, Delete, Delete

Don't feel bad about deleting a guy from your phone if he's dragging you down.
Don't feel bad about deleting a guy from your phone if he's dragging you down.

When you're with a guy, the worst thing that can happen is your phone going off or you getting sexy text messages from someone else. He'll find out that you're playing him, and might not take to kindly to it. If it happens, dump him immediately and move on to the next one. Better to avoid the situation completely when you are with him and keep your phone off. If you must have it on, make sure your old text messages and voicemails are deleted.

Be careful with your contacts! Don't have anyone's number saved into your phone as, say, "Booty Call #1." In fact, don't save their number into your phone at all. Write down your contact numbers, with a phrase that reminds you whose it is. Worst-case scenario is that a text pops up, and you just say it's an ex-boyfriend or an old flame. Avoid the situation all together by making it clear to guys that you don't want their random texts, and that you will contact them when you want to hook up. If he breaks the rules then dump him and move on.

Also, try not to conduct your player business over the Internet. Things like Facebook, Twitter, or MySpace will create a digital trail that can be led back to you. Don't give exes the opportunity to look you up and contact you whenever they want.

Tip #4 Always Use Protection

Protection, not diamonds, are a girl's real best friend.
Protection, not diamonds, are a girl's real best friend.

You don't want to end up pregnant and not know who the child's father is. And you don't want to catch any sexually transmitted infections. To prevent these things, use two forms of protection. Be on birth control and have him use a condom. Birth control can fail if you forget to take the pill at a certain time, and if that happen want to be protected by a condom.

Never let a guy talk you into not using a condom by saying things like: it feels better without it, I promise I'm clean, you're on birth control so why does it matter, etc. Explain directly that you take no chances when it comes to your health. If he keeps giving you static, tell him that you plan to do it so good that he will forget the condom is there. If he still doesn't bite then tell him to get out. Simple! There will be other men who will give you less fuss and more action.

Tip #5: Never Keep the Same Men Around for too Long

This is the most important tip, and the one I honestly wish someone had told me before I went around having fun. When you start seeing a new guy, have an expiration date. Don't see a guy for more than three months! Longer than that, and you will develop feelings for him. Especially if he is super good at giving you what you want. Leave him even more quickly if you are finding it hard not to see him when requested. Or if you're skipping out seeing your others because he is at the top of your dance card.

This is bad business. If you start having conversations with him after sex about the things you have in common, you've gone too far. Cut it off. You have to remember that if a guy has agreed to certain terms, then they are just as much of a player as you are. They just might be better at it. Nothing is greater for a player's ego then to make another female player fall for him. It doesn't mean he will stop doing what he does. It just will make you his fool to explore, and give him the power to push new terms. Think threesomes, etc. So update your rolodex regularly, and change your number if need be. You don't want the old ruining the new.

Final Words: Moving On and Finding a Relationship

Yes, I'm going to give you some final words like Jerry Springer. People say women can't be players, but they can if they have the right mindset. You need to turn off the part of you that just wants to be loved and focus on having great sex.

I have to be honest though, this lifestyle does get boring after awhile. Once you're awesome at sex, know what you want sexually, and know how to give it sexually then there's nothing left to strive for. You may seek more. That's when it's time to hang up your pimp hat and leave the past in the past. If you decide you want a relationship, go get one. You don't have to tell someone you're serious about your player days unless you want to. If he wants to know where you got your skills in the bed from, just tell him that it's natural and that you've always known what you want.

When you do move on, don't go looking for a man in the places you met the other guys. People may remember you. Don't let him meet your friends, even girlfriends, from those days. Keep what happened to yourself until you have settled into marriage. Then, if you want to clear the air tell him and explain why you never told him, and end the conversation with a big "I Love You".


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    • profile image


      8 days ago

      wtf what is it is only on the tip how to do sex and have a player in my class he taught me how to become a player and its different

    • profile image


      12 days ago

      WTF?! Who made this?? This is not teaching women how to play men, instead it is teaching women how to get played. Men just want sex and you giving it out to them for free is playing yourself. Instead use men for their money and resources and that’s how to play them. Biko remove this post mcheew

    • profile image


      2 months ago

      I have been played a lot of tyms bec i have a very soft mind bt i want ti be a well nd successful player how we i acheive dat

    • profile image

      Hollie Delle ;) 

      2 months ago

      lol so many people think im innocent they should look around

    • profile image


      2 months ago

      i love giving boys a taste of their medicine, for example; my boyfriend thinks i haven't noticed him sneaking out to his side chick, i want him to pay for what he did and not give him pleasure every night. But now i realize what this article is saying, if you can't have your man respect you than why not play around with his friends? 1: it gives him a little taste of what it's like to be cheated on, and 2: it's not called being a whore or a slut, it's called giving him what he deserves, women should not be treated like an object we need to stand out and show them our place. Why not have a little fun while were at it?

    • profile image


      3 months ago

      I've watched plenty of female player video's,and don't be surprised when i say i might be one myself ;)

    • profile image


      13 months ago

      Yeah one of these girls fell for me then couldn't help herself, kept playing, I think you're all heartless.

    • profile image

      Adrian Nita 

      15 months ago

      It is good in a way because most of the men take woman for granted and play with our lives and heart ❤️ I think it’s is fun and more interesting than being in a serious relationship

    • profile image


      16 months ago

      The title is misleading. This is not about successful playette, but how to be a successful whore. If you're using sex to "play" men, there's no wonder/ different with that. Men love sex. It gets them hooked, for awhile. The real question is how to hook them without sex! That's the real playette's game.

    • profile image


      21 months ago

      I dont want a sexual experience, I just wanna break a few guys hearts. Its fun. Its also better that way.

    • profile image

      This was very useful 

      22 months ago

      No one outplays the sociopath. We have had practice all our lives and most players are just going through a changing season. ;)

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      this stuff actually works lol ive been a player for awhile now but some guys deserve to get played because they do it to us girls

    • profile image

      Team Haetoll 

      2 years ago

      Looooool being a female player ain't my thing at all..I'll just enjoy my relationship even though I'm still young to be in a relationship

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      HAHA This is so truee OMG !!!!!!!!!!!

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      I have been doing the player thing for years and this was a great starter plan- one thing I will point out is don't mess with taken men. If they have a girlfriend or wife its a no go for me. Nothing worse than dealing with an angry girlfriend who will throw all your business out on front street. Yes guys lie about being in a relationship but if you ask and they say no then you have a clear conscious and its not your bad karma it is his.

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      What if I want a relationship but don't wanna get played but the man

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      This was really helpful, now i know what i have been doing so far like "leaving my heart at the door" was the right thing to do. I am a proud Playerette and i am keeping it REAL for all the women out there.

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      Your advice was great. It helped me thru a situation I never want to be in again. Girls jus wanna have fun!!...

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      What if u were feeling a guy but then got with his friend first? How do I get out of this one? One was soft and gentle the other one was ruff and freaky... So now I'm torn

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      A successful "player" period should be emotionally detached naturally. Don't become a player because you've been hurt before. You're only setting yourself up to hurt the wrong people. A real "player" will attract the right victims. If you're gonna reach outta yer league, you're get played!

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      I'd rather do a virgin and then go onto a hoe just to be in control. I love playing men a lot and screwing them over.

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      I Think your right I have been a playerette since I was 12 , but I found a guy that I really like.I been doing it so long I don't know how to stop

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      Wow didn't know that girls could become players as well as boys. Hate boys, I had one who played on me but thankfully I ended the relationship and feel much better (still he tries his stupid tricks on me, gotta puke lol). Thanks btw for the info.

    • profile image

      htay htay 

      4 years ago

      haha knew it

    • accofranco profile image


      4 years ago from L Island

      Lol....this hub will spoil ladies o...hahaha...I want some real love not players...wish....well done Misstress, lol

    • profile image

      surounded by fair game 

      5 years ago

      thanks for the tips this will make my temporary stay in a very boring but full of cute guys state much more bareable I was sick of not knowing what to do with the hotties who approched now I have some new toys to play with tata

    • Mistressoflove profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from Rhode Island

      Thanks for reading my article a girl! I'm glad this helped you! :) Cheers to you!

    • profile image

      a girl 

      6 years ago

      Thank you thank you thank you! Now I'm more prepared for the hunt! cheers to being a playerette ;)

    • Jenlt2013 profile image


      6 years ago

      I have to strongly agree with femmefatale......I read the feisty article and it is the true definition, by a long shot. Very well written hub though mistress!

      Cheers :)

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      These tips was tha best think you

    • Mistressoflove profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Rhode Island

      Thank you for commenting on the hub and voting it up and useful. :) I have a lot of respect for what your saying too.

    • jellygator profile image


      7 years ago from USA

      I think a lot of what you've said should be done even when a woman does want a relationship, but isn't willing to settle for a mediocre guy. I don't agree with everything you said (like hiding your history - to heck with that!) but voted it up and useful.


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