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How to be a gentleman on a date? The answer lies in behaving like a gentleman even before your date starts, and continuing to do so till the very end. The manners of a gentleman are all about being polite and courteous while being firm and manly at the same time. From giving compliments to opening doors and from starting conversations to wearing clothes that make you look like a gentleman, this post gives tips on how you can be the perfect gentleman on your first date.
1) Take charge in fixing the venue and time of your date
Unless the girl you are going to meet has already planned a fun date, take charge in asking her out. Have a place and time ready so that all she has to do is say yes.
2) Groom yourself well before the date
They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but if you want to be a gentleman on your date, you will have to put effort into your grooming. Get a nice haircut and if you have long hair, style them well in place.
Trim facial hair if you have any. Remove any other unwanted facial hair and groom yourself like a perfect gentleman.
3) Look like a gentleman
Being a gentleman on a date just doesn't end at grooming yourself well. You will have to look the part by wearing nice clothes too.
Don't show up at your girl's door in a pair of surfer shorts or a vest. Show that you have tried hard to look good for her by wearing a nice shirt, denims and shoes. Top this look off with a blazer or a smart jacket.
4) Send your date a text message when you leave to pick her up
Preempt your date by sending a text message when you leave your house to pick your girl up. This will give her enough time to do last minute prep.
The waiting time will also create a sense of excitement and she will nervously wait for you to arrive.
5) Bring flowers for your date
The best way to give your date a pleasant surprise is to get flowers for her. It could be a simple red rose or a bouquet, the size does not matter.
While some may see flowers as an old school tradition, you will still appear to be the perfect gentleman on your date if you give your girl something to blush about.
6) Pick your date up from her doorstep
If you have a car, don't allow your date to take public transport. Make sure that you pick her up from her doorstep and not from a station, mall or park. Show her that you want to do everything it takes to make the date comfortable for her.
7) Compliment and hug your date when you meet her
The first words to come out of your mouth after a friendly hi should be a compliment for her. Make your date smile by telling her how pretty she looks. Follow-up the compliment with a hug so that there is no awkwardness between the two of you for the rest of your date.
8) Be courteous and polite while talking to your date
If you want to learn how to be a gentleman on a date, you must first learn how to be courteous and polite. A gentleman is expected to have the most polite manners and to be courteous to his lady love all the time.
Be on a constant watch out and pamper your date by being extremely polite and courteous while speaking to her.
9) Don't start flirting heavily with your date
Gentlemen have the quality of being very subtle with their flirting. They never make their flirty moves too obvious and don't appear to be trying too hard.
Apart from some of the critical do's and don'ts of flirting, remember that a first date is all about getting to know each other. Flirt subtly, not like an overpowering alpha male, else you may come across as arrogant on your first date.
10) Show chivalry and open doors for your date
Chivalry is a classic trait of a gentleman and you will have to do the same if you want to be one. From car doors to those at restaurants, make sure you get to the door handle before your girl.
11) Pull chairs for your date
A girl will feel like a princess if you pull out a chair for her and then gently push it in as she sits. Making a date feel like a princess is what being a gentleman is all about.
12) Always take a seat after your date
If you are going for a dinner date, always sit after the girl takes her seat. Don't find a nice spot for yourself and leave your lady fumbling to find a seat for herself.
13) Take responsibility of initiating conversations
A gentleman always takes the responsibility to start conversations on a date. Ask questions to show that you are interested in knowing all about her. From hobbies to relationships to current events, keep talking about stuff until you narrow down on something that she likes talking about.
If you think that you are unable to steer away from a dull and boring conversation, be honest about it and make it sound sweet by telling her that you are at a loss of words because you can't think of anything other than how beautiful she looks.
14) Don't bad mouth your ex-girlfriend
To be a gentleman, you must refrain from saying bad things about your ex on your first date with a girl.
If you start saying cruel things about your past dates, your current date may start worrying about what you may say behind her back to someone else.
15) Don't use foul language: Let your first impression be that of a real gentleman
Real gentlemen don't swear or use foul language on a first date. Infuse mannerism and politeness in your language. Don't swear and don't say derogatory things about someone or something.
16) Allow her to be the star of the conversation
The key to letting a girl enjoy conversing with you on a date is to let her speak. Once you start a conversation, sit back, be a good listener and allow her to be the queen of the conversation.
17) Don't stare at her curves: Real gentlemen mind their manners
A gentleman never stares at his date's cleavage, breasts, hips or any other curve. No matter how sexy your date is, you must focus your eyes into hers, all the time.
Don't take the risk of ruining your date by gaping or obnoxiously staring at her body.
18) Allow your date to order drinks and food
If you are on a dinner date, allow the lady to pick and order food. Whether it is a fast food joint or an expensive restaurant, allow her to take charge of the menu. This is just another way to let her know that she can do whatever she feels like.
19) Be a true gentleman and pay the bill
A gentleman will never allow a girl to pay the bill on a date. Put this into practice on your first date and pick up the check. Even if your date offers to split the bill, don't do so. This is one aspect in which you shouldn't grant her wish if she wants to pay the bill.
20) Hold her hand or lead her gently by her waist as you walk the street
Hold her hand or gently place your hand on her waist as you lead her out of the venue and walk towards you car. Be sure to walk on the curbside of the sidewalk so she can have an uninterrupted stroll.
21) Drop your date home to her doorstep
Just like picking your girl up from her doorstep is important to come across as a gentleman, dropping her off right at her doorstep is also crucial. Don't allow her to take a bus or a train. A gentleman would never let his date walk home.
22) Thank her for the date
Regardless of how your date went, you must thank the girl for her time and company. As a gentleman, you must show that it was your pleasure in hosting her for the evening.
23) Show your enthusiasm for a second date
If you think that you enjoyed your date and you want to go on a second date, don't hold back your feelings. Don't shy away from weaving a cute little "I Like You" in your conversation.
Tell her what a nice time you had and that you would love to catch up again very soon. A gentleman never leaves his lady confused. You must let her know clearly if you would like to take her out again.
24) Give her a kiss: You may ask for her permission
Don't finish the date with a bland goodbye. Since you hugged your date when you picked her up, your levels of comfort with each other are likely to be on a similar level.
If you are unsure about whether you should kiss her or not, it is okay to ask her. She may find it very romantic. If this is your first time and you don't know what to expect in your first kiss, lean in and let destiny take its turn.
Slartybartfast on March 04, 2019:
I think you should ether skip the hug or ask first
Lars Melby from Ontario on March 24, 2018:
Great article! I look forward to reading more of your work.
Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on January 22, 2013:
Most helpful tips here for daters you put all the ideas well together, and have mentioned valuable points.
Dianna Mendez on January 22, 2013:
All ideas that will work with women. I would accept this from any of the stars you featured here!
JT Walters from Florida on January 22, 2013:
If only gentlemen still existed. They died with the Dinosaurs.