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How to Attract an Alpha Male

Attracting the most confident guy in the room takes cunning and skill. You need to prove yourself to be the best match for the leader of the pack.

In this article I'll teach you:

  • How to identify an alpha male
  • How to attract an alpha male
  • Which alpha males to avoid

I should warn you: conquering an alpha is not for the innocent or faint of heart. And even if you can attract one, he may not be the right guy for you. It's never easy to date an alpha; they have strong personalities and are often players. But if you can get them to love you, then it's worth it.

To do that you have to be strong, sexy, and confident. Confident enough to know you deserve him, strong enough to deal with his ego and work for his trust, and sexy enough to always keep him interested.


What Is an Alpha Male?

Before you can attract one, it's important to know how to spot one. An alpha male is:

  1. The Most Confident Guy in the Room. An alpha male is a male who knows who he is down to his core. He may or may not be the most successful guy in the room, but he believes in himself with enough conviction that he can convince the faint-hearted. While most CEOs are alpha males, he doesn't have to be one to be confident. You'll also know an alpha for being the guy who brings home a lot of different chicks. They're known for having huge egos.
  2. Dominant. Alpha males are always very dominant. He is very sure of his beliefs, and doesn't really care what other males think. He's likely to steal his friend's girlfriend or beat him out for a promotion. To some extent they make controlling partners in relationships and need to be in charge.
  3. Adaptable. Alphas are survivors, and usually know how to react in any difficult situation. He may not like change, but he will adapt quickly to his environment and wastes little time thinking about what to do. He'll find an opening and take control of the situation. That is why they are usually leaders: of the party, at work, or in whatever the situation may be. Others will look to him for guidance and leadership.
  4. Protective of Loved Ones. Alpha males are always very protective of those he cares about. He would rather take the fall and get blamed or hurt before he lets harm come to those he loves. Alpha males can make great fathers. While it is not easy for an alpha male to truly love someone, when he does will protect them to the death.
  5. Charismatic and Well-Connected. When you're around an alpha male, you can't help but feel the need to work for their acceptance. At parties, everyone admires him: he can work a room and win people over very quickly. An alpha has a large network of friends and followers.
  6. Provider. Alphas make very good providers. They work hard and hold themselves to very high standards. Always the charmer, an alpha male will advance quickly in his career. Even when he fails, he will find ways to provide for himself or his family. He doesn't think twice about doing what he needs to do to survive.

How to Attract One

So now that you've found one, how to do you get one? Here are some of the things alpha males will be looking for in a woman:

  1. Not Just Cute, But Hot. To alpha males there is a major difference between cute and hot. A hot woman is not afraid of her own sexuality, and it is the part of her she loves the most. Choose clothing, make-up, and accessories that highlight your best features. If you're shy, you can still project confidence and catch his eye.
  2. Be Yourself. Unless, of course, you are boring. Just kidding! Alpha males love women who speak their minds and don't back down. He'll like that you can be confident enough to say something unladylike at an upscale party, and can make others laugh. When you talk to him counter his questions with your own, and keep him laughing with your wit and charm.
  3. Have fun. Alpha males don't want to feel like you're already planning your wedding. Being too serious will definitely scare them off. They look for women who know how to have fun and are not counting down the days until they settle down and have his babies. You don't have to be a party girl, but you do need to know how to cut loose and have some fun.
  4. Smile! Alpha males love a woman who smiles from her heart.

If an alpha male wants you, he'll go after you no matter what. All these qualities will not only get his attention, but hold it for a long time.


Alpha Males to Watch Out For!

To end on a serious note: There can be a dark side to chasing alpha males, as many abusers are alpha males. Because they are very dominant, controlling, and aggressive, some of them turn out to be domestic violence offenders. Some warning signs to look out for:

  1. He Frequently Overpowers You or Shuts You Down. A lot of abusers look for weakness in their partners, or someone who is very passive. If he pressures you to have sex or do anything else that makes you uncomfortable, then he is engaging in abusive relationship patterns.
  2. He Tries to Control You. Alphas are typically more controlling than others, but your partner should always accept that you have your own life. Abusive partners will try to control your finances and social life, not want you to work, and otherwise try to keep you away from the world outside the relationship.
  3. He Loses His Temper Easily. Watch for signs that his anger is out of control. If simple arguments escalate into extreme anger, punching walls, throwing objects, or threats, then he is not in control of it. When people are angry, they may yell, but they stay in control, or will walk away when it's too much. If he gets angry in a way that scares you, trust your instincts.

If you're dating alpha males, it's important to educate yourself on abusers and cycles of abuse. For more signs that you may be in an abusive relationship, see this list. If you are in a violent relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or follow this link to visit their website.


Jessie on October 06, 2017:

Why doesn't anyone want to talk to me

valerie on September 25, 2017:

i've been with a man who was super ambiitous but he was cruel and vicious and an abuser, so i understand what you meant about the last part. it's very scary.

Read More From Pairedlife

C.D.Carney on April 22, 2017:

Wolf-mate concepts are rarely capable of being accurately applied to human-mate concepts. However there are certain males with confidence that gives them the aspect of being an "alpha." There are two other types, the so-called "beta" who is not the outgoing go-getter but who is nonetheless capable of being dated and the lone wolf. The lone wolves are generally those who do not care to lead and those who cannot bear to follow. They tend to be calm and quiet but they control their lives down to the smallest aspect. If someone should enter their sphere of influence they will quickly assert themselves and a contest usually considered "measuring dicks" will result. One way or the other the lone wolf will prevail either by the rules or in spite of them. Take note of the quiet but confident ones. Their eyes tell the entire story.

Amanda on December 13, 2016:

I agree 100% with ^^^^someone ^^^^ well except killing. Lol

Someone on November 19, 2016:

All men have these traits! A real alpha-male has:

Killed someone/people or been in a real battles, can survive outside on the wild, has a lot of strength (being bulk is a bonus), understands how every person lives by their faith, he will eat everything and still have a good toned body, he got the eye-brows, he does not care about girls, women or bitches (they like ladies), apart from that choice hes not pickish!, hes a hard worker and never complains about heavy work or extra hours, everything goes past his head because he has faith, they do not need to try and put effort on making their children happy, because its already working with them because hes genuine etc etc

This is what makes an alpha male! Anything or everything else is just a girls fantasy. Most of the alphas are in prison, Working as Drs or surgeons, in the army, or living by their own. You will all come to see when you come off your periods or have children ladies ;-)

They're very hard to find.

Sanchenuss on March 07, 2015:

"common sense" is definitely a beta male.

- Alpha Male

Alisa on February 17, 2015:

No myth. I have many male friends who like me but I just can't reciprocate ....they're cool, amiable guys who never actually tell me that they do...they're easygoing to the point of being too agreeable. Men today are also too effeminate...that's why whether a good or bad alpha, women will be drawn to not only strength of body, but strength of will....

Me on April 04, 2013:

You are a brainwashed idiot

Common Sense on November 29, 2012:

Please don't just dismiss this comment because you think I'm a jealous beta-male. There is no such thing as an alpha-male. Even the scientist who coined the term said it was incorrect. This is a dangerous belief that needs to be stopped before more people buy into the myth of over-population or eugenics. Programs like Planned Parenthood have thrived off this myth for years now. If that sounds like a positive program designed to bring children to mothers who couldn't get pregnant, google it and read up about it, I can assure you it's not. I'm not going to complain about how women are just using this as an excuse to date the same men, but I am going to suggest that maybe people so readily accept this myth because it's AN answer, any answer, to a tough question. This myth needs to be killed before it leads to an eventual return to serfdom, as it's already lead to a rise in support for eugenics. All it does presently is give sociopaths a mental justification to impose themselves on others. If all of that for whatever reason doesn't make you at least give a second thought to the alpha theory, consider that if we just focus on strengthening the gene pool and are constantly eliminating what we think is the shallower end of it, eventually there just won't be any room in it for anything except what's thought to be the perfect genes, which I guarantee nobody who's ever spent time on the internet really has. I don't mean that as a crack against people who surf the web, I mean no matter how smart you are, theres thousands of savants out there who have never stepped outside but can build the diagnostics for a bridge in their head in mere seconds, and that no matter how strong you are, there are still thousands of monks who have trained by bending wrought-iron spears into their necks and balancing on them, to the point where their skin can't be cut, or bones broken with a normal amount of force. Trust me, when it comes to the gene pool, if you don't live in Vietnam or Korea or Sudan or basically anyplace where these skills have to be present constantly in order to survive, not just some of the time, we're ALL on the shallow end.

sha on June 17, 2012:

good stuff. accurate.

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