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How to Text Your Boyfriend

Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.


So you've finally scored a boyfriend, congrats to you! Okay, maybe you've had one for awhile, or you are just looking for tips on how to get one. The following hub is a guide for what to text and what not to text your boyfriend. Remember, texting is not the only form of communication or way to flirt.

1. Be careful not to over text your boyfriend. Ask or with stealth figure out his schedule and when is the best time to communicate / flirt. He might not be able to text at work and when he is sleeping... isn't really the brightest idea either. Try to catch him when he isn't so busy. If you are wanting to flirt or chat a bit and can't actually talk on the phone texting is an excellent option.

2. By the way, you should talk on the phone. It may be awkward after years of not talking on the phone, but it will help build more chemistry. We are more drawn to voices than electronic signal with letters.

3. Once you have gotten the swing of the relationship, don't try to text every day. Text maybe once a week when it comes to flirty stuff, practical matters... have at it. Remember your boyfriend and you have busy lives, jobs, family, pets, and the like. Respecting each others space is optimum.

4. Do not only text for practical matters. You want texting to be something to look forward to, not the chore command center that it can become.

5. Do not tell very personal information or highly emotional information through text. This is automatically lame. DO THAT IN PERSON. Texting should be for casual information, not break ups, death of family members, and marriage proposals.

6. Do try to setup up times when you will meet in person. Drop right into the conversation if you have a point and ask, "Hey do you want to..."

7. Be encouraging. Give compliments. Make jokes. You want POSITIVE interaction, not negative interaction.

8. It is classy to go with something simple such as:

  • How are you?
  • Did you sleep well this morning?
  • How was work?
  • How has school been?

9. Do text inside jokes. I suggest that secretly you keep a stash of things to send your boyfriend when he is feeling down, save links and videos to things that you know resonate with your relationship. Save things like this for a rainy day; if you plan ahead you can use it and make him feel loads better when otherwise, you would have nothing to instantly turn and make the situation better. Keep an organized place where you can write down gift ideas, movies he likes, books, concerts he might like, and people he might want to see.

10. If he is sick, text him if you can come over and help him feel better.

11. Talk about important events in person, do not set them up through texting such as weddings, people's birthdays, funerals, etc.

12. After a long texting chat, say you enjoyed talking with him. Give him a compliment or two. Say goodnight. A long texting chat needs closure.

13. Do not send an onslaught of pictures. If your guy is constantly asking for you to send him pictures, you may want to think twice about this guy.

14. Do not send him something completely off the wall such as a scrambled message of random letters. There is a right balance between funny and annoying.

15. Do not send him Bible verses... you can save that for in person if that's your thing.

16. Do not send him something about your make up, going dress shopping, or something that would be better to send to one of your best girl friends.

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17. Remember you want to be cool and attractive. There's plenty of attractive people, but if you're not cool, you can run flat with people. Try to figure out what are his interests and see where you have common ground. That way he'll think you're cool.

18. Lookout for boyfriends who:

  • Only want pictures of you.
  • Give one word responses frequently and send longer texts to others.
  • Send you way too many texts.
  • Drunk text you too often.
  • Refuse to ever talk on the phone or meet in person
  • Have more than one cellphone.
  • Who never initiate spending time with you and only put the burden on you.
  • Ignore a good percentage of your messages.
  • Only want you for a booty call.
  • Use their cellphone as a remote to make you do things for them.
  • Harass / send you angry messages.
  • Belittle you / are too sarcastic frequently
  • Have incoherent messages that don't make sense to you.

19. Avoid sending negative messages. Do not be a nag with your phone. If there is something you need to address, do it calmly, politely, and in person... or a letter would be better.

20. If you suddenly feel it would be better to call than talk through text, ask if that would be okay instead of immediately switching gears.

21. Do send pictures of things that are relatable. Pictures not of yourself and of inside jokes can break the tension of only sending word responses.

22. Consider his interests. Is he someone who enjoy Shakespeare or skateboarding? Or both? Don't text randomly about things he could care less about.

23. You are more attractive with words spelt out and an awareness of grammar. Avoid complicated sentence structure, such as compound sentences and complex sentences. You are probably getting crazy if you throw in a semi-colon. If you know how to use the m dash, you could throw it in for kicks and grins since that is slightly more attractive to the eyes, such as making an aside.

24. You are not writing academic papers together. You might be, but 99% of you are not.

25. Don't use texting to complain about random junk. Suck it up. You're bothering the both of you with that.

26. Show positive affirmation. Let him know what you like. Steer him toward the positive and away from the negative.

27. Plan in advance. If you make a smart schedule and consider your time, then you can figure out how to be spontaneous.

28. After meeting, it is perfectly acceptable to send a funny text message or so. I suggest not making a long text conversation after seeing each other. Let yourselves unwind.

29. It is wise to communicate what kind of messages you like and what you don't. Don't make it a long laundry list. Some people you are automatically going to have the same rules and will click.

30. Do not mention exes, yours or his, through text messaging. Why are you bringing them up? If there is something to be mentioned about exes, it should definitely be in person.

31. Do not copy and paste texts at random to your Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Be careful of

32. All text messages should be intentional. Being playful can be an intent.

33. What a few days until something cute pops into your head before texting. Write out a list of ideas that you can talk about with him, put it to the side so you can keep the conversation fresh and juicy.

34. Prewrite texts the night before. Sleep on it. Look at what you wanted to say in the morning. Do you still want to say it? Or no? If not, wait a few hours and then ask yourself why you are being hesitant about sending it. If you can safely say, "This isn't a damaging message. It doesn't matter if I send this..." Then you can send it.

35. Asking to borrow a book for school: good idea. Asking to do all your homework through texting: horrible idea.

36. Figure out what television shows you have in common.

37. Do not send texts to make a rise in drama. You are bored. Calm down and find something else to do. Guys like girls who have got their act together and are mature. Those are the ones they'll settle down with and are willing to spend time getting you a big house.

38. Know the words, "I'm sorry."

39. It is definitely okay to occasionally have a more than one page text, especially if you catch that from him. Do not overdo this. It is okay to occasionally send more than one text before you get one back... but don't over do this.

40. Texting is emotional telepathy. You have to consider what is their mood, how they might take something, and predict what you can do with it. This is why time of day is everything. Guys are in a lot different of a mood when at work, during the end of work, and before going to bed. What busy things does he have to do? What emotions can you gander he has?

41. If you keep having a consistent momentum of texting that seems healthy, it should help you to see his affections for you. Some guys don't are about texting, but the majority are up to speed on this modern custom.

42. What do a lot of men like? Pizza and beer and baked cookies. Do you have any of those things? Can you provide any of those things? If he lives down the street or in the neighborhood, you bet you should make an offering. Especially homemade cookies. Who doesn't like a text suggesting that baked cookies have been made?

43. A lot of men adore their moms. They like to know that you have some of her best qualities like cleaning, and cooking, being funny, and reassuring, not taking their crap, knowing a thing or two about laundry, paying bills, being loving, being really cute and weird at times, and checking up on them. What is it about moms that are awesome that you could take a note and use.

44. Long journey ahead of him. Perfectly acceptable to say, "Text me or call me when you get home so I know you are safe."

45. Don't argue unless it's cute. If you can't label it cute or attractive... it's probably annoying. Like "I disagree with your taste in N'Sync, I think Backstreet Boys is better." Arguing about things neither of you care about -- good idea. Arguing about things he cares about --sports-- bad idea.

46. No name calling, cursing, or fart jokes. Some guys will go for this. You have a bigger pool without that much nonsense.


Questions & Answers

Question: What do I say if he replies back to my hey text?

Answer: Anything to your heart's content.

1. You can ask how they are doing.

2. Make a joke!

3. Ask them if they like pizza and would want a slice.

4. Say "hey" back

5. Ask them something you want to know.


18 Nayeli galvez on September 10, 2020:

Hi can you be my boyfriend love you can live with you at house

Vanessa on June 06, 2020:

How do I make him happy on phone?

Levi on April 10, 2020:

I love you

Natalie on February 27, 2020:

This helped a lot!! Me and my bf Hunter r talking and having great convos now!! Try out some of the things they recommended and don't do some of the things they didn't advise!

Katie on October 05, 2019:

What do I say to start a comvo

Luptia on March 16, 2019:


Paige r on December 16, 2018:

I love you

Kaytlynhill on November 30, 2018:

My boyfriend is cheating

Diana on June 12, 2018:

I thingk. This a is sangres

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