How to Tell When a Man Likes You Too Much: 10 Signs That Let You Know if a Guy is Desperate
Learn Some Danger Signs about Dating Men
It seems that women all over the world (at least on the Internet) are desperate to know how they can tell when a guy likes them. The irony of this situation is that women are frequently not looking for the signs when a guy likes them too much. Rejection is one thing. Being stalked is quite another. And while most guys who end up liking a woman too much aren't stalkers, it is a disheartening thing to have to tell a guy to get lost. It's kind of like kicking a starving puppy. Fortunately, by reading this article, you can become familiar with the signs that let you know when a guy likes you too much and end it before things become uncomfortable.
1. Your first date lasts an eternity- we've all heard from somebody about the first date that took all afternoon and included hiking and dinner and late night making out and was the most wonderful experience in the history of the universe, but these experiences are few and far between. What we don't hear much about is the second date where the woman realizes she's hanging out with a loser. I'm talking true first dates here, like the first time you've ever met the guy. Do you really want to hang out all day with somebody you've never met, no matter how great they sound on the phone or through email? Guys who know what they're doing don't let a first date last more than 90 minutes and usually not more than an hour. Why? Because they don't want to agree to hang out with somebody they don't know for longer than that. And what if it's going well? Well, maybe you extend it a little, but not more than 30 minutes. Now, I know there are women reading this who think this is crazy talk, but please think carefully about it. A guy who just let's a date go on and on is utterly lacking in self-control. He also reeks of desperation. He's thinking to himself, mistakenly, that if he just lets the date go on and on, the woman will like him more and more. In fact, most women, whether they realize it or not, are liking a guy less and less when a date goes on too long. Trust me, ladies, if your date lasts more than a few hours, you're going out with a guy who doesn't understand women, is lacking in self-control, and is going to exhibit more questionable behaviors very, very soon.
What tells you most that a guy is trouble?
2. He contacts you within an hour of your first date- Let's just take the first scenario very quickly. You've just gone out on a three hour date, which should raise a red flag, but you had a good time and you're not too worried. Then you're less than an hour out from the date and you receive a text: "I had a great time. Hope you did too. Let's do it again." Or worse, the guy actually calls you before you go to bed or something to chat. This screams desperation. It screams clingy. You should be seriously concerned now. Here's a guy that needs so much validation that he can't even wait twenty-four hours to call you. Can you say "needy"? Get ready to go out with a guy so clingy you'll barely be able to breathe. As an aside, there's a lot of debate about how long a guy should wait to call a girl for a second date. Certainly an hour isn't enough time. Neither is twenty-four hours. Two to three days is a good rule of thumb. This shows that a guy isn't desperate or needy. It gives a girl the time to develop a little desire and to wonder whether he's going to call back at all, making that eventual call back very satisfying. Ditch a guy who calls you in an hour. Be concerned with one who calls you back the next day. He's not doing it to be courteous. He's doing it because he needs validation that you'll go out with him again. That spells trouble.
3. He shows up at your house unannounced- You know, it was a really great scene in "Say Anything" when John Cusack shows up outside Ione Skye's house holding the boom box over his head. If this is a picture of your life involving some guy you just met, you better run. Better yet, call the cops with a noise disturbance complaint. Guys who show up unannounced, no matter what the reason, are big trouble. I don't care if he's holding flowers or claiming his car broke down. Sure, you can lay down the law and tell him never to come by unless he calls first, but why bother? This is a guy without common sense or self-control. He's one step short of stalking you. Move on.
4. He calls you more than once for every time you call him- There are probably some exceptions to this rule, but keep track. Despite how it might seem, contacting each other via phone really isn't that difficult. He calls you. You answer. You guys talk and make plans. Done. Where things get sticky is when he calls you and you don't answer and he leaves a message. This is the situation I'm talking about. If he calls you again before you get back to him, that's a sign of trouble. That's a guy with no patience and no confidence that you have not, in fact, been in some terrible accident. If he calls you twice before you get back to him, it should be pretty clear he's a loser. Three times? He's probably crazy. That's a guy who has got gremlins running around inside his head telling him what to do.
5. He buys you stuff without any reason- Unless he's rich and has nothing better to do with his time, you might as well enjoy it. And if you're a gold digger anyway, don't worry. Still, a guy who just starts buying you things out of the blue thinks that you're going to like him more because he buys you stuff or maybe because he knows how to shop for hand bags. Whatever the reason, he's trying to buy your affection because he has no confidence that his winning personality is enough. If you want that kind of relationship, go for it. If not, cut him loose.
6. He won't leave- This is something you should start noticing in all situations, be it when you're out on a date or hanging out at home or whatever. If you're always the one saying goodbye first; if you're always the one having to push him out the door, be wary. In general, people who linger are annoying. We hate them everywhere else. You know that guy who hangs around your desk at work, right? You always wish he would go away, right? Well, now you're going to date him? Kick him to the curb and tell him to get a life.
7. He tries inappropriate romantic stuff on the first few dates- You know how I know all this stuff? It isn't because I saw it in a book. It's because I was probably guilty of trying it all at some time, except for #9. I was never that dumb. And I probably had my hands in my pockets coincidentally. Anyway, I've blown it with this move. And I'm not talking about a kiss or something. A kiss is expected. Going in for a kiss is a sign of confidence. What is not attractive is when some guy assumes you're his girlfriend way, way, way before it's appropriate. He might be so stupid as to actually introduce you as his girlfriend. He might simply make it look that way. Let's say you just met the guy and you're at an art gallery and suddenly he tries to hold your hand. Whoa! Who the hell does he think he is? I tell you who he thinks he is, he's a guy who wants everyone else to think you're a couple. A couple! Take a step back for a minute. This is a guy whose mind is so far down the road that he's completely lost sight of what's going on. You hold his hand for too long and he's going to tell you he loves you and wants you to have his children in a few hours. Get out of there.
8. He invites you to meet his parents on the first three dates- This is related to lots of other points, but unless this is an arranged marriage or something, a guy who wants the approval of his parents that early has got some kind of a problem.
9. He tells you he loves you before your third date- It may, in fact, be the case that a guy falls in love with you at first sight. Great! However, the guy with self-control knows not to say anything. The guy with self-control knows that only time will really tell whether or not that feeling holds up. The guy with self-confidence has dated enough to know that weird things can happen to derail a relationship. The guy with no self-confidence blurts out "I love you" because he thinks it'll make a difference. He doesn't realize that the difference it's likely to make is that it scares you stiff. That's a guy who's just dumb or needs a life coach or something.
10. One of his hands is always in his pocket - Gross. Isn't that what the Internet is for? Boy, up until now I was just talking about regular, average guys who are a little slow when it comes to women, but you seem to have bagged yourself a grade A sleezebag. Nice job. If he's playing pocket billiards while you're out in public, you probably don't even want to know what he does at home. Tell him you're going to the bathroom and then slip out the back.
What desperation move throws up the biggest red flag?
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Questions & Answers
Why does he constantly tell me how much he loves me and misses me but doesn’t take the chance of us staying together when we’re able to?
This question sounds like a basic one about commitment. You have a guy who is saying the right things but not doing the right things. Remember the old adage: "actions speak louder than words". Stop listening to what he's saying and evaluate this relationship strictly on his actions. Then you'll know what to do.Helpful 4
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