How to Tell if Your Gay (Guy) Friend Has a Crush on You (And You're Straight)
Sometimes it just so happens that the open-minded straight man has few gay male friends here and there, sometimes even a very close friend. On occasion, such a friend may develop the proverbial unrequited gay crush that goes completely unnoticed by the straight man. Maybe you are this straight man.
Here are some signs:
- He asks you what you like about girls.
He wants a mental list of what it is that attracts you to girls to see if a male could possibly match it, too, and if that male is him.
He might even go so far as to question some of the things (especially the physical things) you like about girls and why they have to matter that much. He might talk about how and why some particular body parts of women are disgusting and he doesn't understand why you would want anything to do with them, and how much analogous parts on a man are so much better, cleaner, etc.
He might talk about how men understand each other better. Anything you might complain about when it comes to women, he'll be quick to give a corresponding example about how men are so much better because they lack whatever flaw you were complaining about. ex. "Women just talk and talk about the most inane things." "Yeah, that's why I like guys. They're so much more to the point and don't monopolize the conversation."
- He tries to get you to watch...adult material with him.
The gay kind, usually. He'll ask you if you've watched that kind of entertainment before. He'll tell you how it's similar enough to the straight kind--and what's the difference anyway, right? Same mechanics, he'll say. In fact, he wonders why you're so picky and particular about body parts because it works almost the same with a man or a woman, anyway. In fact, if you just ignore the one guy's beard and generally hairiness, it's almost the same as the straight equivalent.
Also, he wants to see how you'll react bodily to what you see. If you react at all to it in that physical, involuntary way, it'll speak volumes to him.
- He kisses other guys in front of you to gauge your reaction.
This seems weird, but he may do this just to see how you'll react.
With homophobia? With jealously? With intrigue?
If you are outwardly grossed out by it or something similar, he'll know that you're still in that "What are you five?" over-compensating, homophobic state of mind that leaves no room for any kind of male-male interaction of that kind, even just playfully.
If he can read you as being jealous (even if it's just wishful thinking on his part), then he'll think you might be conceivably into him.
And if you seem intrigued or find the interaction interesting, it might seem to him that you're a bit gay yourself.
If you don't want to send any of these signals, your best bet is to just react maturely and with neutrality, like you were watching someone doing something as normal as making a sandwich. Don't give it your attention.
- He makes jokes about "converting" you.
If he didn't find you attractive at least, he likely wouldn't even be joking about it. If he really wanted nothing to do with you in that sense, the last thing he would want would be to give you ideas by mentioning it.
By extension, some of his friends may make jokes about his converting you. This could indicate that he's discussed such things with them before, or that your being seduced by them has been a topic of conversation before.
- He is touchy-feely with you.
He may not do this right away, for fear that you might be the aggressive kind of straight man that will feel threatened, get inappropriately angry, and slap him away. (Of course, if that was the case, why would you be hanging out with him in the first place?)
It could be that he's just touchy-feely in general, but if he doesn't seem that way towards others, you may want to take heed.
If he's overtly making contact with you in the sense that he's grabbing at things that are normally hidden under clothes, this is probably where the line is crossed. If he's touching it over your clothes, he probably at the very least wouldn't mind doing the same underneath them.
Needless to say, everyone is different and these aren't necessarily sure-fire signs, but they usually, generally apply.
Whatever you do, of course, don't freak out. He is unlikely to persist if you turn him down clearly, and there's no need to be alarmed by his advances. At worst, be flattered--someone likes you.