How to Tell If a Guy Likes You: 10 Signs He's Interested
Figuring Out If a Guy Likes You Isn't Easy
Though sometimes it's obvious when a guy likes you, figuring them out isn't always that easy. Almost all women know this. Men and women have their differences and they don't often read each other well.
The signals a guy sends to a woman trying to indicate that he likes her often aren't the signals she's looking for, and the signals she's expecting often aren't the ones he's sending. Basically, figuring out whether a guy likes you or not requires a secret decoder ring nobody appears to be selling.
So how can you tell if a guy likes you? In this article, I will outline how to tell when a guy likes you with a few simple, easy-to-follow signs. By the time you are done, you'll be a walking, talking man-analyzer and will never again be confused about how to tell when a guy likes you and how to tell when he doesn't like you. You'll also get a pretty good idea of when you should turn and run the other way. And, though some of these points are exaggerated, there is some underlying truth to the humor. These are general rules—just keep in mind that every man is different, and what applies to one may not apply to another.
However, here's a thing to remember: there are the times when a guy likes you, and then there are the times when a guy likes you too much. Women love the former and start to get scared when the latter happens. Be on the lookout for exaggerations of any behaviors that may indicate when a guy likes you too much. Nobody likes a stalker.
10 Signs a Guy Likes You
Below are a few signs that a guy likes you and is interested in pursuing a relationship with you. Though at first these signs can be miscontrued as proof of his interest, you have to look at the underlying meaning.
1. He sleeps with you more than once.
A mistake that people often make is that they assume because someone sleeps with them that they like them, but that's not how everybody works. Sure, they probably liked you for those five minutes of bliss, but that doesn't mean that they woke up still liking you. A man will sleep with just about any woman at least once.
Men are dogs that way. While some women will form an attachment after that first time and assume that the man must like them, it's not necessarily the case. The big question after the first time is whether or not there will be a second time.
If the man comes back for more, there's an increasing chance that he actually does like you, particularly if there's more to the relationship than just sex—things like dates, cuddles, or long, late-night phone calls.
What it really means: If there's more to the relationship than sex—such as friendship, late-night talks, and romance—it's probably a good sign that he's interested in you. However, if it's sex and only sex, then it's likely that he's just interested in one thing. He might not necessarily like you beyond that. If you're not sure, it'd be a good idea to open up a conversation about it. Remember, communication is key.
2. He returns your calls.
Another mistake a lot of women make is that they think a man has to call them within a certain amount of time after a first date. However, there's a wide variety of behavior that people exhibit in regard to phone calls that doesn't allow for easy analysis. So, whether a guy takes an hour (bad sign), a day (a little desperate), or a week (a little too long) to return your calls, the point is that he returns them.
If you call or text a guy and he doesn't respond, then you can be pretty sure he's not interested and that he doesn't like you. Just make sure you're not overdoing it on your end. Send one message or call him once and be done with it, or else you might be perceived as being clingy. Be it a woman waiting for a man to return her call or a man waiting for a woman to return his call, it's universal that people who respect and like other people return their calls at some point. People who do not respect and like other people do not return their calls.
What it really means: If you're pining after somebody who isn't doing you the basic courtesy of returning your calls, move on. We spend way too much time making up weird excuses for why somebody hasn't called us back when the simple reason 99% of the time is that they don't like you enough. Don't waste your time with them.
3. His pants are tight.
What do tight pants have to do with anything you might ask? Actually, I'm stealing this concept from a line spoken by David Cross on the television show "Just Shoot Me". In the episode, David Cross's character is pretending to be mentally slow.
When he comes across a particularly attractive woman, he blurts out "my pants are tight!" to indicate that he doesn't understand why he has suddenly developed an erection. While this single characteristic alone may not be enough to conclude that a man likes you, it's certainly a good indication that he's attracted to you.
What it really means: He is attracted to you. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as he is courteous and respectful about it. This being said, I do recommend you shy away from staring at that particular area in an effort to determine whether his pants are indeed tight. It's something you may just notice—he may be shifting around funny, or you may figure it out during a hug. No matter what, it's usually a mark in the plus column for you.
However, while it's a good sign, don't make too much of it. To paraphrase Eddie Murphy from "48 Hours", such things happen to most men when the wind blows.
4. He wants you to meet his friends.
If you've been going out with a guy long enough to kiss, have sex, and who knows what else, but have never met any of his friends, you are in trouble. This is not a guy who likes you—guys who like girls want those girls to meet their friends because they're proud to be seen with them.
A guy's friends are vitally important to his existence and their approval means a lot. Don't try to explain away why a guy hasn't introduced you to his friends if he hasn't and you've been going out awhile. He doesn't like you or he's embarrassed by you (which shouldn't be the case either).
Something is wrong. And what if he says he doesn't have any male friends? Well, that's a serious problem too. There's something wrong with a guy who doesn't have friends and you should be cautious to the point of not being anywhere near that guy.
What it really means: Does this guy make it clear that you guys are just friends in front of other people, or does he leave it to interpretation? If this guy is serious about you, he should want you to be a part of his life—and that includes meeting his friends.
5. He doesn't forget your name.
This is something that usually occurs early in a relationship, but it's really something to pay attention to at any time. You see it in the movies a lot. Two people meet, have a great time, then wake up the next morning.
Because the guy was drunk, he can't remember the woman's name. A guy who likes you will not forget your name - ever. If he forgets your name, it's possible that he's an alcoholic or making up an excuse to make you mad.
A guy who forgets your name may also be a player who's going out with so many women that he's actually forgotten your name. No matter the reason, consider forgetting his name and moving onto somebody who's going to give you the respect you deserve... and remember your name.
What it really means: Lots of people are good with names. Just because he remembers your name, it doesn't mean he likes you. And if he repeatedly forgets your name? Don't even bother with him.
6. He's nice to you.
Hey, here's a novel idea: if a guy likes you, he's nice to you. This means he doesn't berate you verbally and he certainly never lays a hand on you in anger. Amazingly, this is something many women spend a lot of time rationalizing.
They explain away verbal and physical abuse because the guy is so nice 80% of the time. Well, you know what? 80% isn't enough. A guy who likes you won't hurt you. A guy who's decent and worth being with doesn't participate in verbal abuse and never strikes you in anger. One time is too many. If he does any of these things, he doesn't like you. And if he ever hits you, call the police.
What it really means: There are plenty of nice men out there that will always be nice to you—that doesn't necessarily mean they all like you. He might just be one of those people who's nice to everyone, which is how we all should be. However, if he goes out of his way to see you or you really feel a connection with him, it's a good sign. In any case, it doesn't hurt to ask!
7. He likes kissing you.
Seriously, ladies, if a guy likes you, he wants to kiss you.
I'm not talking about early on in the dating process. If a guy hasn't kissed you yet, that may have nothing to do with whether he likes you or not. He may simply be nervous and doesn't want to put himself out there (and this is another problem entirely and I guarantee his attractiveness will wear off soon enough). This refers to a guy who's already kissed you and seems to be avoiding it suddenly.
But that doesn't mean he wants to avoid it. In fact, he probably also wants to tongue kiss you too. However, if he's dodging that kiss or pulling away quickly or outright barfing after making contact with your lips, he probably doesn't like you.
What it really means: Some men don't like kissing. This could be because they find it strange, or because they'd rather be doing something else (like having sex). In any case, make sure that there is consent on all sides and that you can both communicate your wants and needs to each other. Even if you like kissing and he doesn't, he'll want to do it anyways if he really likes you.
8. He cleans his place when you come over.
Some guys are neat freaks, but most are pigs. And even those who aren't pigs probably live at a level of cleanliness far below what you might consider acceptable. Thus, if your arrival at a guy's place actually gets him to clean it, you know he wants to make a good impression.
So how can you tell if he has just cleaned? Look for these clues: a cleaning service person exiting his house just as you arrive, track marks from the vacuum on the carpet, the smell of deodorizer or Lysol in the air, pooling water on tile from where he overmopped, piles of trash outside his house or next to the dumpster, and a dog that looks frightened, as if to say, "Who is this guy?"
What it really means: He cares about what you think! That's not a bad thing—it's good that he's considerate of your cleanliness preferences, if you have any.
9. He pees sitting down.
I'm just going to go ahead and admit that my wife has trained me to pee sitting down. I like my wife. Do I feel like I've compromised my manhood? A little bit. However, I pee sitting down out of respect for my wife's appreciation of cleanliness.
Rarely, the fear of having to clean our own bathrooms is the reason, but usually it's because we like you.
What it really means: He's being considerate and doesn't want you to see his nasty spray. He cares about what you think.
10. He doesn't sleep with other women.
As silly as this sounds, there are a whole bunch of women on the planet who will rationalize away any behavior, including when their man sleeps with another woman.
Even if he was drunk to the point of blood-alcohol poisoning, there's just no rationalization that works. Nevertheless, there are people on this planet who forgive such things. That being said, when a guy goes out of his way to sleep with somebody because he knows you'll be especially hurt by it, like your best friend or your mother, you can be pretty sure he doesn't like you.
What it really means: By avoiding such temptations and not sleeping with other women, he's sending a clear signal that he does like you. Remember, men who like you, don't hurt you.
Other Signs a Guy Likes You
Humans are complicated creatures, and it can be next to impossible to know what someone is feeling about you. What may be a sign of attraction from one guy might just be a normal interaction from another. Usually, it takes a couple of these points to point towards genuine admiration and affection. The list above was pretty specific, so here are a few more general signs that a guy is interested in you romantically:
11. He tries to look cool in front of you.
Do you notice that he's always trying to crack jokes when you're around, especially when you're hanging out in a larger group? He's probably doing this to make sure he stands out from the crowd.
12. He tries to meet your eye in group conversations.
If he's constantly trying to meet your eye—whether he's talking or not—it's a good sign that he's interesting in you.
13. He says nice things about you when you're not there.
Obviously you won't know that he's saying nice things about you, but maybe a mutual friend can let you in on what he's saying when you're not around.
14. He talks about things you're interested in.
Is he trying to talk to you about your rock collection when you know he's never picked up a rock in his life? Does it sound he's trying to remember what he read about them on Wikipedia last night? If he's remembering facts about things you're interested in, it sounds like he's trying to build up a good rapport with you.
15. He sticks up for you in group conversations.
This could mean defending your unpopular opinion or asking you to share your insight on what the group is talking about.
16. He looks for your approval and validation.
This is akin to a child showing their friends a new trick they just learned. Except he's not a child—he's a man.
17. He mirrors your body language.
Man or woman, subconsciously mirroring body language is a sign of attraction. If he's doing it on purpose, that just might be a bit creepy.
18. He looks at you when you're not paying attention.
Kind of like the previous point, this should be in moderation. Flirty glances and subtle staring can be a sign of attraction. If he's always looking at you, whether you're paying attention or not, that's just weird.
19. He does small favors and gives you gifts.
As we discussed earlier, some people are just nice and like to do small favors for their friends. But if he's an asshole to everyone else and only does nice things to you, he probably likes you.
20. He tells you so!
What are you doing reading this article? Go over and tell him how you feel!
If You're Still Confused, Just Ask!
Maybe he introduced you to his friends and always makes sure to return your calls, but you're still wondering if he likes you. After all, he might just be extremely sociable and behaves like that with everyone. How can you know for sure?
The answer is simple—just ask! No matter how many signs you interpret from this guy, the only way to know for sure is to approach him and ask. You win either way: If he says yes, then great! You two can work out what to do from there. If he says no, then at least you'll have your answer and can focus your attention on moving on to someone who does fancy you.
When are you absolutely sure a guy likes you?
Questions & Answers
A guy I'm seeing has yet to initiate any physical contact even after our fourth date. He has not introduced me to any of his friends. He usually takes hours to reply to my messages. He said he wants to take it slow. Is he just not that into me?
It's hard to tell, but he's probably not into you, but clearly, you are into him, so you need to stop being the one pushing everything. If he's not responding to your messages, stop sending messages. Guys don't usually say they want to take it slow. My guess is he's not sure about you, or he has other women he's dating, and he's trying to figure out which one he likes best or wants to keep his options open. You need to keep your options open too.Helpful 50
This guy has been sleeping in my bed. We cuddle and talk all day every day. He stays at my house every night and so does his dog. He gives me little kisses on my cheek and head but we haven't done anything more. I really like this guy. How to approach that conversation?
To me, that sounds like the guy enjoys this situation with you, but if he's not making a move, that signals to me that he's sleeping with another girl. Your best bet is to date another guy, tell this guy he can't sleep in your bed anymore, and wait for his next move. Right now he's just playing a little game with you, and you need him to make a decision. Even if you have to lie and say you're dating somebody else, I'd do it to find out where he stands. (it's just a white lie. You can say you're dating or going to date and don't want to feel weird about it or have to be untruthful with any potential dates.)Helpful 48
What does it mean when a guy says he loves me after only knowing me for one month, and then takes forever to respond to texts?
It means he was trying to get you in bed and now that he's slept with you, he's moving on. Or, if you didn't sleep with him, he's bored and is moving on.Helpful 45
A guy that asked me to be his gf via text only sends me texts messages saying “I miss you”, “I want to kiss you”, “ I want to be with you” but he never asks how I am or shows interest in what I’m doing. I ignore his texts and won’t reply or I will change the subject but he tells me i’m ignoring those texts. I’m confused. Am I over reacting or does he not care about me at all...?
A guy who only asks you via text to be his girlfriend is weak. You're doing the right thing by ignoring him, though you should ignore all his texts.Helpful 1
I like a teacher of mine who is 25, but he seems to be avoiding me. What should I do?
Are you under 18? Then if your teacher sleeps with you, that's statutory rape. If you're older than 18, that's an ethical problem. Just avoid this situation.Helpful 8
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