Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love.
How to Pretend to Ignore Someone That You Have a Crush on (and Not Have Them Ignore You)
If you've developed a crush on someone and you want to turn the tides in your favor, using push/pull techniques can work quite well. By acting like you are totally disinterested in your crush, to the point where you act like you don't care about them and start ignoring them, you will drive them crazy and get them to pay way more attention to you.
If done correctly, the push/pull technique will make your crush interested in you and how you really feel about them. It's a good way to stand out from the other teeming hordes of people out there in the dating world.
Ignoring them first means your crush is unlikely to ignore you back, and you get the upper hand. This may seem difficult at first, but really, with a little self-restraint, it can be quite easy to pique their interest by following these basic tips.
The basic setup is to ignore them, then act like you are incredibly interested, then ignore them again.
Before we move on, it's important to define a couple of terms that we will be using for the rest of this article.
- Push: Doing things to push your crush away, such as ignoring them or acting disinterested.
- Pull: The opposite, pulling is done when you start flirting and acting interested in them.
- Push/Pull: Utilizing both extremes in the right ratio to get your crush to be swooning over you.
Creating Tension Loops
Your goal in using push/pull is to create what is called a tension loop. Essentially, a tension loop is when you created unresolved emotional tension, increase it, resolve the tension, then spark it up again.
Creating this kind of lasting emotional tension is the heart of push/pull dynamics and it is a surefire way to keep your crush interested in you and spark feelings of longing. Correctly creating tension loops will surely have your crush swooning over you.
1. Act Disinterested Then Interested
This type of technique is hard to get down but once you do the results are amazing. When you are talking to your crush, act disinterested in what they are saying, like you're totally bored with the conversation. Then, slip in some things that indicate you really are interested. It's a balancing act between the two extremes, and it will have your crush guessing your interest level, which in turn will make them more into you.
You want to keep your crush thinking about you, and if you act disinterested and act like you don't like them, they will try harder to get your attention.
2. Be Overly Formal Then Friendly With Them
Rather than act familiar, like you guys are buddies or something ludicrous like that, confuse your love by being really stiff and polite. If you bump into them, say "excuse me" in a monotone voice that echoes from the core of your being that you don't care about them and could never want them.
Also, don't use their first name when you address them. In fact, don't use their name at all if you can help it, just use "you" a lot. Better yet, if you can just avoid addressing them altogether, it's even better.
Every once in a while you can act like you two are close and you can open up a bit. Try to say something nice and friendly after you've been acting cold towards them. Building that kind of intrigue and mystery will go a long way to making your crush swoon over you.
3. Challenge Them in a Playful Way
When talking to them, don't be afraid to disagree with them and challenge their assumptions. If they talk about their favorite band you don't like that band, go ahead and say "I think that band sucks." You don't have to be threatening about it, keep the tone playful and conversational.
The important thing to keep in mind is that you don't want to seem like a pushover, you want them to think that you are a strong-minded individual who won't just agree with everything that is said.
4. Do a Physical Push/Pull
This type of move can work really well if done correctly or it can totally kill your chances of getting your crush to be interested in you. For example, when talking with them, you can lean in and act really interested in what they are saying. From there you can stare deeply into their eyes and then all of a sudden look dissappointed and disinterested and turn away.
Additionally, during an emotional high point in the conversation, you can turn away, look at your phone, smile, and then look back at them and continue talking. This kind of move will drive your crush nuts and create an instant tension loop. People like being the center of attention when you're talking to them and when you disrupt that balance, it makes them want to win your attention back.
5. Act Really Interested Sometimes
Every once in a while, throw them a bone, if you will. In those very rare moments, act familiar and charming. I'm not talking about holding doors or buying gifts or anything crazy like that. Begin with something simple, like actually calling them by name. People love it when you call them by their name, so the fact that you have been withholding that and then you started calling them by their name will drive up their attraction to you.
If you have done all the other things detailed in this article, they should be so in love with you by now that they'll feel a thrill at the tiniest bit of attention. Use this reward system wisely and only do it randomly in order to keep them guessing.
But don't overdo it; remember, it's always better to have them eating out of your hand instead of the other way around, where you're wondering why your crush ignores you. Make them feel unwanted and they never will.
What Do You Think?
© 2010 Jorge Vamos
anonymous on May 01, 2019:
i met a girl this year and i liked her the moment i first saw her. i noticed she was interested in me but due to the fact that im in a relationship i didnt do any advances towards her. few weeks ago she engaged me in a conversation where suddenly our eyes met and something happened to me i never felt before... i never felt such strong mutual attraction. the next weeks she constantly tried to flirt with her eyes but we werent even able to talk to each other. every time we met there was some kind of heavy tension. i tried to ignore her advances because of my situation but i have heavy feelings for her. now as some time passed we ignore each other. think she feels rejected and it hurts me really bad
Anonymous on April 11, 2019:
How did any of you assume this was written by a female in order to get a male.. its a male author... And it reads quite clearly as a male playing the pawn female
John on February 21, 2019:
Thank you for the article on how to identify stupid, crazy women. You're now much easier to avoid. If we ever spot a woman pulling even a fraction of this crap, we now know to ghost her immediately. You've done a great service to guys.
AJ on February 18, 2019:
This is the stupidest article I have ever read. If you have any idea of what narcissistic abuse is , you would not be telling people to emotionally mess with others this way. Unless you are a narcissist of course and then it would be funny right? In a really cruel messed up way. DO NOT FOLLOW THE ADVICE IN THIS ARTICLE. I cannot adequately express how wrong this is on all levels. Shame on you
crazy on January 15, 2019:
i do this because I´m scared of intimacy and it always only pushes people away - and i end up very alone and hated even.
I see this article is a joke but yeah , there are people like me who do this in real life because we have self worth issues and it is the worst you can do to yourself and your crush - just be honest and humble . that´s sexy- this article was funy though.
------- on January 06, 2019:
All this advice isn't even true, the author wrote it in the first paragraph which is a duchbag thing to do. Why give love advice that's not true. The author is ruining most people's chances at love and if the author is doing that then he has no reason to write about love advice and should leave it to people who care about others chances at love so my advice is to not read this shitty article from someone who doesn't even care if you feel lonely my advice is that your never alone and you should love yourself more and even if you don't end up together now who knows what will happen in the future maybe you'll meet someone who loves you back or maybe your meant to be with your crush in the future and not now
carrie on December 25, 2018:
I dont recommend this to anyone. You'll just end up confused, heartbroken, and alone.
Kacey on December 17, 2018:
I really like this way its really good on how to ignore but how do you ignore friends or people who are being mean
Confused Charmander on November 24, 2018:
I do all that too, but this is the first time I’m reading this article. Didn’t know an article existed about this topic. I was surprised to see someone actually wrote about it. But after doing all of this..now this person is really avoiding me..so I think I’ll just move on. The avoiding signals and body language did it for me. I can sense hints and this was either overly done or this person just isn’t interested. Just wanted to share..
sexy panda on November 16, 2018:
I do all that to my crush, but he doesn't seem to be on the hook.
Also, I probably did it wrong like they said, "don't overdo it".
Joanna on July 25, 2018:
I have a crush on this article tho
andrea on May 02, 2018:
i think this is not gnna work for me but i can try to at least
Lily on February 14, 2018:
TBH me and my crush had some problems so i ignored him and now he is starting to come back again
Anita Willis on February 10, 2018:
The level of sarcasm in this is amazing. All of these people that actually believe this'll do something probably don't understand that just because you have a crush on someone doesn't mean they have a crush on you. And if they do, I can assure you that they won't for long if you act like this
brrr on November 01, 2017:
I ignored my crush and now
"We don't talk anymore"
carrie ward on October 22, 2017:
I agree with Rachael.
Racheal Muchekechi on October 09, 2017:
Don't say I hate you
NotOnlyALastName on September 24, 2017:
Addition to my previous comment:
It's embarrassing to say, but here's some other examples my co-worker and I do:
-Anytime there is a group situation, he purposely turns his back to me. EVERY TIME. And he turns his back to ONLY me. He'll stand close to me, but with his back turned. He'll sit close to me, but with his back turned. If he has to stand in a position where he can't turn his back to me, he'll talk to me looking out of the corner of his eye.
-Anytime there is a group situation, I will talk to everyone else BUT HIM. If I want to ask him a question about his opinion, I'll ask the entire group and not look directly at him.
-We have to constantly pass by each other in aisles and when working in the warehouse and we try to not look at each other but we are both highly aware of each other's presence (and yes, we're watching the other out the corner of our eyes). I know that because I can feel his gaze and I have no doubt he can feel mine.
-Speaking of watching out the corner of our eyes, we rarely stare at the other. I have caught him once staring at me and I had to speak him right afterwards, which, he could only answer while looking at me in an indirect sideways glace. When he caught me staring at him once, I accidentally pulled a heavy box down and punched myself in the face with it (hard enough to bruise me and break my glasses a little). LOL. Needless to say, neither of us stare directly at the other anymore, unless it's momentary and their back is turned.
Call us immature if you will. And yes, we both have had moments of frustration and of scraps throwing. But I don't know how to express emotion like romance since I so rarely feel it. Also, to express interest in someone usually signals people of sexual orientations to think you want sexual things. Which I don't. As for him, I haven't worked up the courage to ask him his reasons yet.
Until then, the highlights of our week will have to be when we work in the warehouse and have a couple lines of real conversation (with everyone else in earshot of course) and we lock gaze to see the depth of how much we mutually like each other.
NotOnlyALastName on September 24, 2017:
HA! Both my co-worker and I do this to each other. TO A TEE! I laughed the entire read of the article! Well done!
Sometimes I wonder if he even stands my presence, other times, it seems obvious he likes me.
I try to play it cool and professional (we are at work and all- plus he is technically my boss). Other times I feel like he and everyone else can see that I like him.. a lot.
Sometimes we seem so naturally compatible it blows me away. He and I don't even try to impress the other with our specific likes/dislikes, we naturally follow the same groove.
Only two problems separate us: 1) We have to be professional for work (he is a manager after all) and 2) I am asexual and while I don't know his orientation, I never bank on anyone else being asexual too. :/
Sami on June 13, 2017:
UGHHHH I like this boy but he is a jerk. How do I talk/ignore him!
Ty on March 09, 2017:
These are all great tricks! And now, since life is short...Go for the person that is nice, shows interest, wants to have a conversation with you, makes you feel special, and buys you dinner and flowers, instead of dealing with the idiots that plays these stupid games!
C on February 04, 2017:
Sounds like a way to get a person who likes you to start to resent you.
Mick on January 05, 2017:
Non of this actually works at all, it's been tried and tested with a co worker who had a crush on me and went on for months so I just asked her out but by then she lost interest rejected me politely twice and got herself a new guy lol she still watches me a lot and orbs around my aura and still smiles a lot and tells me her life story but doesn't mention her boyfriend she touches me and tries to get close she drops hints when she is available though so when I asked her out I got refused lol women are wierd but it's all fun and makes my day just flirting with women!!!
Sara on January 04, 2017:
I had this co worker who was so interested in me, we hanged out twice, and then I started to text him a long paragraphs to why he is being diff and where did I go wrong.
Now we see each other work, and the more he ignores me the more I'm running after him, like when I say hi or hello it takes him about 1 minute to say hi or hello back, then he doesn't look at me in the eye and he also avoids talking to me but I forcefully start conversation and I also text him while we are working and I just can't stop showing him attention! Then when we get off I still keep texting him and I'm trying so hard to get a text back from him, he just ignores me so much!
That its driving me nuts
Ana on October 09, 2016:
The first one was awesome. Had me laughing my head off.
Anonymous on August 27, 2016:
This is crazy! It's really funny but it's s game
And someone said it would only work if the other person the "crushee" likes you. Which in my case I feel is the case. I totally gave my Crush a hint for the first time in 6 months, seeing each other and passing each other by at work different department,
He talks to me small talk and i do as well. He seems shy not flirty with other woman very respectful which of course I like, but he still seems to be holding back and so I feel this may work But don't want to seem crazy which I can see a guy thinking like one day she likes me and one day she's ignoring me just not sure uhhhh!!! Help
Can give me a response
Anonymous on August 26, 2016:
Recently one of my friend tried this trick on a girl of whom I'm mutual friend between them both he succeded and at last to my oh! girl proposed a boy might be he might be here to read this whole article but i'm surely following this for crush if mine. Thank You everyone!!
N.E Precious on August 13, 2016:
There's this guy i like he is always looking at me and he always hits me anytime he passes me(we're friends actually)when i told him that his friend is my boyfriend he asked me why i never said a wkrd about it then i told him that i don't like his friend at all and he was actually laughing and not to forget one day we were chatting and he called me mum the next day we fought he put on his dp i still love you mum please what can this possibly mean??
I need sleep :-: on August 01, 2016:
I don't see why anyone would want to ignore the person they have a crush on, I was wondering how to stop... I do that on accident... If anything by instinct... I wish I didn't "in my opinion doing such things is a bad idea" -_-
anon on February 14, 2015:
Let me just say this might work on someone, but not me! My crush and I confessed to each other and for about 4 months we constantly talked and he told me all these wonderful things and I had never been happier. Then all the sudden he stopped texting, talking and interacting with me all together. It frusturated me at first and then I just felt miserable. He just stopped everything all at once and I didn't even know what I did. He still stares at me with this look in his eyes that makes my heart flutter, but if i catch him staring he looks down. This went on for a month until he FINALLY texted me in his old goofy way. I was elated! After I texted back he didn't respond. Then a week went by an he didn't say a word to me through text or in real life. Now were back to the stare tag game and I feel like crap. When i read this i face palmed because these tips were all mixed into his little ignore-my-crush scheme. Its like he pulled all his tricks from this hub.
mothercristina on December 01, 2014:
This is awesome. It's funny how we all know it's a joke, but yet it's not at the same time. When we really like someone desperate times call for desperate measures. ;)
gittel on February 08, 2014:
Joke or not....do people in real life actually do this?
And how can one tell if they r saying 4 real back away. Or i like u, but i am pretending not to.
Very confusing... never heard of such a thing...seems cruel.
bitzy on January 30, 2014:
I'm sorry, but did Mr. Darcy write this? :)
Jorge Vamos (author) on September 27, 2013:
...IT WAS A JOKE. lol.
Sheila on May 31, 2013:
This will only work IF your crush is actually attracted to you in the first place. If not, no amount of manipulation is going to work, no matter what you do.
Leslie on May 03, 2013:
don't do it, I always do this it never works they only get confused and you end up with no prom date !!!
atika on March 11, 2013:
im sorry it was great advice but only for someone who wants to hurt someone else... i have been through something like this where the guy has done this to me and let me tell you it made me depressed, it tore me apart, i was always sad and confused and if u really care about this person you would never want to do anything like this. I have trust issues now because of this, it is really horrible in every way. i know this article was written to help people but im sorry its really hurting people. i felt so disgusting, ugly and my self esteem got really low. please i beg of you anyone who reads this do not do this. put yourself in their shoes, imagine someone u really like was doing this to you. it would break you wouldn't it? so i beg, please, please don't do anything like this. thankyou
bur on February 28, 2013:
So funny. I'm still laughing at the 'angry?' face.
snowbow on December 23, 2012:
Seems like playing games to me. A few weeks ago someone did this to me but it had the opposite effect I have moved on. Playing games in the long run does not work, and obviously my emotional maturity level is higher than her's!
SandCastles on October 13, 2012:
These suggestions sound like game playing to me. I don't want to trick someone into liking me and these tips can backfire. If people did this to me I would assume that they didn't like me.
Jorge Vamos (author) on July 08, 2012:
And, btw, coming back a year later to find comments like these makes me realize my humor is just too dry. Hahaha.
Jorge Vamos (author) on July 08, 2012:
Dylan: By creepily stalking them and getting to know every aspect of their life without their knowing you.
Jorge Vamos (author) on July 08, 2012:
Yeah, don't do this. This hub is a joke. LOL. Yes, ignoring someone does kind of work sometimes, but only for a very short time, and only with people who have relatively low self-esteem. (And you wouldn't want to date them anyway.)
sarah123 on June 28, 2012:
Actually I'm a real-life example of being on the receiving end of this sort of behavior. & trust me when I say, it will have exactly the opposite effect because if the person you are ignoring has any self-respect at all, they will ignore you right back. I ignored him back, in retaliation! this went on for about 6 months before he showed any signs of guilt/making an effort to being friendly again towards me.
Mysteriousguy7 on May 16, 2012:
Gals...if i were a guy with a crush on a gal and if she behaved this way instead of dropping hints.i'd rather run away...
Aina on May 10, 2012:
You are ignoring this person because they don't feel the same as you do. When you start to ignore a person you previously have given a lot of attention to, they will start to wonder; why is he/she ignoring me? And they might even fall in love because they suddenly start to realize that they do care for you more than they thought and that they actually miss you! Many people do this push and pull technique wihtout even realizing it and it does work because often we want something we can't have. When we can't have a specific person's attention anymore, we want it back.
Maria on May 04, 2012:
I totally agree. But for me nobody knows I like my crush... I've kept it to myself
sary on May 03, 2012:
what happens when you want to really be with this person that you are ignoring,they are going to think that you are crazy and anyway why can't you just be yourself and not play any mind games. why play a mind game just to get someone to fall head-over-hills for you, sounds like an insure person to me. it may seem fun but, for how long. i'll be scared people are crazy out here in this world.
Maria on May 03, 2012:
This might actually help. But this isn't what I'm looking for... What I'm looking for is help, why? Because yesterday at school, I have a best friend and she likes my crush (she doesn't know I like him though) and our friends kept saying that he likes her... It's hurts me to think my crush likes someone else... At the dance I was with my best friend and she said, "he is staring at me!" I smiled at her... I was thinking maybe he was staring at me and she probably got the wrong idea
duh on April 13, 2012:
"emotional maturity of a 5-year-old"... yes. satire.
I do this when I'm afraid someone thinks I like them and I don't (I'm naturally really friendly, and guys tend to get the wrong idea) and they might be offended/disgusted... I do have really bad social anxiety in certain situations, and it's something I'm trying to get over. Haha, thanks for showing how ridiculous it must look!
Seriously? on March 20, 2012:
Is this supposed to be satire? Because frankly this comes off as you having an incredibly bad social disorder.
mila on March 14, 2012:
wait are you serious?
Murendeni on March 10, 2012:
I proposed a girl then she loved me bt she said that to me she already have a boy friend i tell her that i don't care about your boy friend i care about u, then i agree with her that i will dated u even if your dating to your boy friend then she agree bt we only dated one week then she dumped me she said she want to go back to her old boy friend so now i have no one i still love this girl. So how can i get her back?
sarah123 on March 07, 2012:
LMAO....Too good! Nearly fell off my chair laughing too hard :D
Todd on February 15, 2012:
This works with anybody. I've always done this from time to time. Be VERY careful with it. You can really hurt and confuse the one you are in love with.
It works best when you first give them a lot of attention for a period of time. Then suddenly pull it away. They will feel a void and get insecure and miss you. They will notice something has changed in their life. When you push away they will pull toward you trying to figure out what is going on or trying to get back what was lost. Perhaps they didn't even realize what they had until it was gone. This will help them to see that.
Do not do it for very long. If you do it for to long they will eventually get used to it and forget you. And don't come off as mean. Be ready to give in and be very nice if/when they reach out to you.
The object of your affections may also secretly love you and be unsure. They may already be really frustrated and unsure of your signals. This could really hurt, frustrate, and discourage them even more. Use it carefully and be observant of their reactions. Be ready to quickly accept attention and show appreciation again.
Especially be careful with doing this with shy girls. A lot of them are already very insecure and would never pursue anyway even if they have strong feelings for you. If you do it at all with a shy girl be more subtle with it and a shorter amount of time (or maybe not at all and find another plan). The most you might get with a shy girl is to catch her staring. All the while she's left confused and hurt and feeling helpless.
RookieGirl on February 03, 2012:
I'm kind of confused. Ignore the person you have crush on and than they will find you interesting. C'mon. It sounds rather impossible. I'll try it though. Desperation arose so suddenly. But what if it actually doesn't work?
stefd on December 28, 2011:
It doesn't work. My crush ignores me like this to the letter. It has been going on for way too long (years) and I'm starting to really not like him. I could end up hating him even but I'll probably just move on once I find someone I like who makes me feel valued and makes me feel happier.
Saso on December 21, 2011:
uffffffffff it is a horrible feeling
tibs on December 10, 2011:
works until she finds out ur ignoring her, and accuses of why ur ignoring her, say ur busy with stuff, talk for a few days and reignore until she comes bak:P
Angie on November 15, 2011:
I do all the time to guys I like, but I haven't been successful.....until recently. It's kinda obvious (to me at least) that I ignore this one guy and talk to everyone else. I laugh and act kinda flirty with everyone else, but with him I'm like (straight face and indifference). I've heard he thinks I hate him, but we do have our moments of friendliness and lately he's been coming up to me more trying to joke around....idk i think this work sometimes, we'll see, lol
Dylan on September 28, 2011:
I never got the point of this, someone will only be interested for a very limited period of time if you are obviously ignoring them, that just gives the impression you don't even want to bother getting to know them.
If someone likes you, acting like you dislike them is only going to cause them lots of worry and confusion, possibly pain if you keep it up too long. Become friends with them, but don't make it obvious you like them, maybe. Besides, how are you meant to like someone you don't even know/refuse to talk to?
om,ie on September 25, 2011:
hear! i like it..
harsh on September 22, 2011:
it doesn't work...
dechunk on August 02, 2011:
Would this really work ? if not 100%, at least 50 + percent?
I've done this to my crush even before I read this (and he had reactions like-felt dumb and wondering if i was angry - something like that - and such just like what is written in this hub)
Would this really work? I wonder why he still doesn't show that much of like ... he cannot resist me or something close to that ... I've done almost everything stated here, suprisingly, even before I read this.
By the way, really nice and very funny hub :)
Anastasia Kingsley from Croatia, Europe on May 28, 2011:
Ingeniously written and hilariously explained! Thumbs up, voted up and followed.
Slav on April 30, 2011:
To me, all these things are obvious when done to me. Might work for some, though...
ILuvUKenton from The corner of Forever and Heartbreak on February 03, 2011:
Great work. I'll be sure to try some of these when I see my crush again. Thanks a bunch for the advice.
billrobinson from CA, USA on December 22, 2010:
Keep posting hub like this. Is very interesting and enjoyable read.
betc on December 01, 2010:
hahahahah..i did love this..before i dint know how to handle such a situation but am grateful now i know..gud job there n thumb up!
Chinemere onuekwusi on October 28, 2010:
Thanks thehands for this wonderfully and well written piece of work. Your points are well noted, especially for the ladies, for the guys the steps can be even more powerful if you know how. I met this young lady recently, we both have a crush on each other, she's a snub, I'm a bigger snub. I used the steps above and I've lost the count of dates we've had. But one thing is that don't overdo things, or you might risk losing her or him, every thing in life needs moderation, this too.
Alice_babeyy on October 19, 2010:
Ohhh no!! I do this stuff already by habit, it doesn't push guys away does it? I hope it doesn't have the opposite effect of what I want :(
loladukes on September 01, 2010:
Ha ha, after reading your hub I've realised that the 'creepy' bloke at work probably thinks that the reason I try and avoid him at all costs is that I have a massive crush on him. Eurrrrgh, well I guess I know now why he won't leave me alone and seems to be getting more familiar the more I try to ignore him!
Mom Kat from USA on August 26, 2010:
too funny. thanks for the laughs.
Susan on August 15, 2010:
hahahhahahaha!!! @BennyTheWriter and @Wolfoflife I agree completely. And I could comment on this article, but this sounds advise you'd give to a fairy in a fairy tale, or a girl in a Disney movie.
wolfoflife on July 26, 2010:
the staring of the eye is really crepy bcuz they r satring at u when u don't know. creeping!
BennyTheWriter from Northeastern U.S.A. on July 20, 2010:
Great, hilarious hub. (I don't really mean that.)
Seriously, the "staring with the side of the eyeball" really cracked me up. I'm following and looking forward to more hubs!
StrictlyQuotes from Australia on July 20, 2010:
techno-hub on July 18, 2010:
Very impressive tips. I am already trying this unknowingly on my crush. But i will do it more properly. She will be in my arms surely. :)
Jorge Vamos (author) on July 06, 2010:
@JenniferT: Yes, that would probably work, too! Independence is attractive no matter who you are.
JenniferT on July 06, 2010:
I would like to add a #6, if you will permit me to do it, and it goes like this:
talk about yourself (not arrogantly, of course), your future plans, aspirations, hopes, etc... in a lighthearted tone that shows your love interest that you really do have other things going on in your life besides him or her.
Mention current events in your life that would draw crowds from miles around, just to listen to you. Be the alpha-male or female that makes no excuses, and needs no prompting from your OTHER to make life happen for you.
People are drawn to leaders, not followers; so, if you want that special someone to perk up and pay attention... BE that person who is worthy of their attention, and accept no less as the vibrant, progressive, and fun-loving woman or man that you are.