Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. Let his trial and error be your success (hopefully).
How to Ignore Your Crush
If you've developed a crush on someone and you want to turn the tides in your favor, using push/pull techniques can work quite well. By acting like you are totally disinterested in your crush—to the point where you act like you don't care about them and start ignoring them—you will drive them crazy and get them to pay way more attention to you.
Use the Push/Pull Technique: Pretend to Ignore Them (and Not Have Them Ignore You)
If done correctly, the push/pull technique will make your crush interested in you and how you really feel about them. It's a good way to stand out from the other teeming hordes of people out there in the dating world.
Ignoring them first means your crush is unlikely to ignore you back, and you get the upper hand. This may seem difficult at first, but really, with a little self-restraint, it can be quite easy to pique their interest by following these basic tips.
The basic setup is to ignore them, then act like you are incredibly interested, then ignore them again.
Flirt and Ignore: Push/Pull Technique
Before we move on, it's important to define a couple of terms that we will be using for the rest of this article.
- Push: Doing things to push your crush away, such as ignoring them or acting disinterested.
- Pull: The opposite, pulling is done when you start flirting and acting interested in them.
- Push/Pull: Utilizing both extremes in the right ratio to get your crush to be swooning over you.
Creating Tension Loops
Your goal in using push/pull is to create what is called a tension loop. Essentially, a tension loop is when you created unresolved emotional tension, increase it, resolve the tension, then spark it up again.
Creating this kind of lasting emotional tension is the heart of push/pull dynamics and it is a surefire way to keep your crush interested in you and spark feelings of longing. Correctly creating tension loops will surely have your crush swooning over you.
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1. Act Disinterested Then Interested
This type of technique is hard to get down but once you do the results are amazing. When you are talking to your crush, act disinterested in what they are saying, like you're totally bored with the conversation. Then, slip in some things that indicate you really are interested. It's a balancing act between the two extremes, and it will have your crush guessing your interest level, which in turn will make them more into you.
You want to keep your crush thinking about you, and if you act disinterested and act like you don't like them, they will try harder to get your attention.
2. Be Overly Formal Then Friendly With Them
Rather than act familiar, like you guys are buddies or something ludicrous like that, confuse your love by being really stiff and polite. If you bump into them, say "excuse me" in a monotone voice that echoes from the core of your being that you don't care about them and could never want them.
Also, don't use their first name when you address them. In fact, don't use their name at all if you can help it, just use "you" a lot. Better yet, if you can just avoid addressing them altogether, it's even better.
Every once in a while you can act like you two are close and you can open up a bit. Try to say something nice and friendly after you've been acting cold towards them. Building that kind of intrigue and mystery will go a long way to making your crush swoon over you.
3. Challenge Them in a Playful Way
When talking to them, don't be afraid to disagree with them and challenge their assumptions. If they talk about their favorite band you don't like that band, go ahead and say "I think that band sucks." You don't have to be threatening about it, keep the tone playful and conversational.
The important thing to keep in mind is that you don't want to seem like a pushover, you want them to think that you are a strong-minded individual who won't just agree with everything that is said.
4. Do a Physical Push/Pull
This type of move can work really well if done correctly or it can totally kill your chances of getting your crush to be interested in you. For example, when talking with them, you can lean in and act really interested in what they are saying. From there you can stare deeply into their eyes and then all of a sudden look dissappointed and disinterested and turn away.
Additionally, during an emotional high point in the conversation, you can turn away, look at your phone, smile, and then look back at them and continue talking. This kind of move will drive your crush nuts and create an instant tension loop. People like being the center of attention when you're talking to them and when you disrupt that balance, it makes them want to win your attention back.
5. Act Really Interested Sometimes
Every once in a while, throw them a bone, if you will. In those very rare moments, act familiar and charming. I'm not talking about holding doors or buying gifts or anything crazy like that. Begin with something simple, like actually calling them by name. People love it when you call them by their name, so the fact that you have been withholding that and then you started calling them by their name will drive up their attraction to you.
If you have done all the other things detailed in this article, they should be so in love with you by now that they'll feel a thrill at the tiniest bit of attention. Use this reward system wisely and only do it randomly in order to keep them guessing.
But don't overdo it; remember, it's always better to have them eating out of your hand instead of the other way around, where you're wondering why your crush ignores you. Make them feel unwanted and they never will.
© 2010 Jorge Vamos