Beth is a therapist, coach, and freelance writer, helping you recover from problems, improve your wellbeing, and live an amazing life.
How to Charm a British Man
What drives us wild about the Brits is the cleverness of their humor, politeness, sense of propriety, and pride in their cultural traditions, according to focus groups led by the MORI Social Research Institute. British men are very much seen as independent individuals, a trait considered attractive by the Americans who were polled.
Where to Meet a British Bloke
Your chances of landing a hot British lover are highest in a bar or club. According to a poll from YouGov, most British men still rely on meeting a potential match on a night out.
A high proportion of lonely Brits also look for love in the workplace, so if you work with a single British man, there is no harm in flirting over the photocopier. Check your networks to find out if any of your friends know an eligible British bachelor, as many British blokes are open to finding a date through friends.
Bag Your Brit Online
Internet dating has now become the third most popular way to find a date in Britain, according to YouGov, so going online is a good option if you want to bag a Brit. British men also dedicate nearly six hours per month to social networking—almost as much time as Americans, research by The Nielsen Company found. Chatting on Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter could be the way to find the Brit of your dreams.
Show Him You're Into Him
British men are sometimes too polite to approach women and don't even notice when someone is flirting with them, according to social anthropologist Jean Smith. A bashful 30 percent of British men would never approach anyone flirtatiously, Smith revealed in "The Flirt-Interpreter: Flirting Signs from Around the World."
Only 35 percent of British men can tell when a woman is giving them the eye, so you must make it obvious that you are interested if you want to land a British man.
How to Hook Him
Once you have found a good British specimen, you need to know what to do and say to get him interested. British people regard certain sports as a large part of their culture.
Talking about soccer, cricket or rugby are great ways to make conversation with a British man. Food is also an important part of the British identity. You could cook your way into a British man's heart if you can rustle up a decent English breakfast or a plate of fish and chips.
Beth Burgess (author) from London on January 31, 2019:
Hello again. I'm sorry that didn't work out for you - but you know what they say "If it's not meant to be...".
It's a funny quirk of life that we often meet the partner of our dreams when we're not really looking for them. And they never seem to be who we imagine our "dream partner" is in our heads.
I met my life partner when I was in hospital, very happily single and not looking for anyone. Our first encounter was when I was struggling to open a door and he helped me. He saw me at my absolute worst. Ill, no make-up, nothing to judge me by except my personality. We were strangely drawn to one another, even though he was not my idea of my "ideal man". But, that's exactly who he was after all and we've been together for over five years now. And yes, he's a Brit.
Sometimes we can be so busy searching for who we think we want that we miss out on enjoying life in the meantime and we miss out on people who turn out to be very special because we think that's not what we're looking for.
It's a good idea to draw up a list of "absolute dealbreakers" so you don't end up with a broken heart. It shouldn't include things like looks, wealth or anything else like that, but simply things you really couldn't live with. For example, I had to end a lovely relationship because he wanted children and I didn't. That was painful for both of us because we still loved each other. He is now one of my best friends, but it would've been better for both of us if we'd stayed that way from the start.
Read More From Pairedlife
Once you have your dealbreaker list in mind, get on and enjoy your life. Follow your passions, socialise, don't let happiness wait. And you might just find the right man comes along. It's better to know what you absolutely don't want, because sometimes we're wrong about what we do want.
Never make your happiness contingent on finding a partner. Be happy anyway, do things that you love, be yourself, get out and do lots of things and you will attract the right person without even trying.
And it will be the right person, because you won't have to play guessing games or try and force things. It'll happen naturally, because neither of you will be able to stop it. That's the power of true love.
Dy from Alcalá de Henares, Spain on January 31, 2019:
I was invited twice by a man I liked enormously absolutely charming, but I was afraid and it didn't come off. He was my teacher. He got so angry that in his "nice" dismissive way he made fun of me every class. Until I quit and in a gentle way told him what I thought of him. After this, how can I "grasp" another nicer one?
Beth Burgess (author) from London on January 21, 2019:
Hi Tina, How long have you known him and where did you meet him? Roughly how old is he? All these things may have influenced why he behaved like that.
Tina on January 21, 2019:
Im talking to a english. Guy and he starting .replying back to my text then told he loved me and now hes ignoring them
Beth Burgess (author) from London on November 24, 2018:
Hi Jess, Wow you've got a real romantic on your hands there. What could be more personal than a poem? Why not send a poem back and see how he responds to that?
Beth Burgess (author) from London on November 24, 2018:
Hi Dy, I'm sorry about your disappointment.I'm so glad your exhibition went well, though. That's something to be really proud of. And it sounds like you connected with some wonderful people there. If you enjoy the class anyway, why stop going to it? We should never put things on hold because of a relationship that might or might not turn out. The more you're doing things you enjoy and have fun with, the better your chances of attracting someone like-minded who you won't even have to chase! Best of luck, and in the meantime, remember YOU are everything you need, with or without a man. A man can only complement the great, creative, charming person you already are.
Jess on November 23, 2018:
This British guy I m interested in sends me love dings and poetry without any personal message. What do I do to take it to the next step. ?
Dy from Alcalá de Henares, Spain on September 21, 2018:
A disappointment Beth. My admired Brit didn't turn up at the inauguration of my paintings show and didn't even apologise. The party went wonderfully and people were very nice showering me with praise and compliments. I had a really good time meeting old friends and family as well as making new acquaintances. I was very attractive. So I don't know if is worth my while going to the lessons, because I like him very much in each. What do you think? I look forward to having your advice.
Bianca Visitazion on September 20, 2018:
Hello Beth! As you know I've invited mi admired target Brit to my vernissage. He was interested, the trouble is if he'll find a means of transport to go from Alcalá de Henares to the centre of Madrid. I'm a little nervous about the whole thing. I like him but after a plague of misunderstanding I don't know if he cares for me any more!
If he came, how could I propose another meeting with him?
Beth Burgess (author) from London on September 06, 2018:
That is wonderful. Congratulations on your exhibition! And what a great opportunity to get to know the man who may be your match! Wishing you the best of luck :)
Dy from Alcalá de Henares, Spain on September 06, 2018:
So good! I have an exhibition of my paintings soon and I intend to invite all my classmates.
Beth Burgess (author) from London on September 05, 2018:
A good way of naturally deepening the relationship without seeming "easy" is to socialize within a small group first. Is there a local event you could invite a few of your classmates (and him) to? Maybe there's a show coming out, and you could all grab a drink or snack afterwards? Or even better, do something related to your classwork, so it doesn't seem pushy or weird to invite a small group of classmates (eg. if you're studying photography, is there a photography exhibition coming up? Or if you're studying languages, you could all go to a foreign restaurant and practice ordering things on the menu). Finding out if someone is interested doesn't have to be agonising - it can be fun! And if he's really that conceited, I doubt you'd want to be with him anyway. Either way, the better you know him, the esaier you will find out if he likes you and if he's worth pursuing.
Bianca Visitazion on September 02, 2018:
I'm afraid to show excessive interest. Men are so conceited! I can't work out a way of showing interest without looking easy, or cheap. I don't know if some gestures of him have some "good" intention. Like when he asked my phone number, just as a means of giving me announcements. Then I asked him his, as a normal exchange and he sent it about 3 times that I acknowledged. Does he expect me to give him a ring?
Beth Burgess (author) from London on September 01, 2018:
Go for it! Nothing ventured, nothing gained :)
Bianca Visitazion on September 01, 2018:
Thank you! In fact he invited me twice in a very British way, and I got so nervous I "put my foot in", so it didn't happen. Now we are "on good terms" but I don't know if he's still interested! The best will be to know him more closely.
Beth Burgess (author) from London on August 31, 2018:
Hi, Why would you quit his classes if you like him? Then you'll never know how he feels at all. Perhaps you could observe how he acts with others, and whether it is different when he interacts with you.
In the end, if you do like each other, it would be a shame not to find that out due to confusion or nervousness getting in the way.
If you're too nervous to approach him directly, then indirect questions or invitations might help you to see how things stand first. Could you chat to him about your lifestyle (and mention you're single)? Could you arrange to go for coffee with some of the class, and ask if he'd like to come along?
It sounds like you need to get to know him more closely to be able to pick up accurate signals. And getting more involved with him on an indirect level could help you gauge him better and make you more confident of where you stand. Best of luck!
Dy from Alcalá de Henares, Spain on August 31, 2018:
I'm an elderly half-Spanish lady who thanks to wonderful genetics looks a lot younger than I am. More often than not men get attracted to me. Now I like a Brit who lives in Spain a little younger than me I guess. He's shown some "casual" intereste in me. I get utterly nervous each time we meet in his class. And I can't tell whether the signs that I take for interest are this or just casual gestures! What should I do? Quite his classes altogether?