How to Know When You Have a Crush

Updated on November 13, 2019
FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway is an Industrial/Organizational psychologist committed to uplifting and educating others to be reach their full potential.

Learn what a crush is and how to tell when you have one.
Learn what a crush is and how to tell when you have one. | Source

Signs of a Crush

So you think you have a crush? We've all been there. A crush involves romantic liking, although the interpersonal attraction may or may not be lasting or reciprocal. Call it infatuation, but a crush feels all-consuming like you've been swept up in a whirlwind of nervous giddiness. You might mistake this intense, feel-good attraction towards someone you barely know as "love," but pump your brakes. It's too early to call it that. A crush can also involve emerging romantic feelings for a friend.

People signal their attraction and interest in a variety of ways, including by telegraphing visual, verbal, and attentional cues. While you may think you're being low-key about displaying your feelings, you're more transparent than you think. (Ask your friends if they notice whether you behave differently around your crush.)

Learn how to recognize the signs of a crush in yourself as well as others. Then if and when you're ready, you can consider how to tell your crush that you like them so you can move your relationship forward to the next step.

Got a giddy, nervous, excited feeling when you're around someone special?  Do you daydream about them and want to be near them all the time? Do you look their way a lot?  Someone's crushing hard. Admit it.
Got a giddy, nervous, excited feeling when you're around someone special? Do you daydream about them and want to be near them all the time? Do you look their way a lot? Someone's crushing hard. Admit it. | Source

12 Signs You Have a Crush:

When my daughter was a ninth-grader on the high school cross country team, she noticed that during team training runs a cute guy on the team kept slowing down or speeding up his pace to trying to talk to her. She didn't know why so she'd run faster to get away from him. (Awkward! That was years ago, but we still chuckle about it.) How do you know the signs of a crush unless someone explains it? I'm here to help.

  1. You typically start the conversation and are reluctant to end it.
  2. You get unusally nervous or embarrassed about talking to them.
  3. You smile a LOT at them, often shooting them a big goofy grin.
  4. You find yourself gazing or staring at them.
  5. You offer them compliments and small gifts.
  6. You find yourself daydreaming about them frequently.
  7. None of their love interests are good enough for them, in your opinion.
  8. You don't seem to notice other potential love matches.
  9. You listen intently to your crush.
  10. You remember details about them that others do not.
  11. You always seem to be near your crush.
  12. Other people (e.g., your friends and theirs) notice that you have a crush on the person.

A crush involves romantic liking, although the interpersonal attraction may or may not be lasting or reciprocal.

Visual Cues

Some cues that you have a crush are plain to see. These can include eye contact, smiling, nervousness, and always seeming to being around them. Frequent and direct eye contact is a common indicator. Eye contact should usually be just long enough to take in another person's gaze but not so long that it would be considered rude or gawking. (Scientists have found that eye-to-eye contact becomes creepy when it exceeds 3.2 seconds.)1

Additionally, when you have a crush you automatically "smile to the eyes" instead of giving insincere half-smiles. You can't avoid sporting a big goofy grin when you see or talk to your crush. Finally, you're motivated to frequently be around the one you're attracted to, even though having a secret heartthrob is an anxiety-creating situation. You might get tongue-tied and have a hard time thinking of something to say. Just talking to friends about your crush can sometimes prompt unease, especially if they're are teasing you.

Verbal Cues

Verbal cues can also signal you have a crush. You mention details about your crush that others overlook, and you pay your crush compliments. You initiate conversations with him or her and linger, hesitant to allow those interactions to end. Other examples of verbal cues include running through crazy "what-if" scenarios or referencing a shared future.

Attention & Focus Cues

You've probably recognized that your crush takes up a significant amount of your attention. They become a big focus. You spend alone time daydreaming about them, and when you're talking to them, you try to sit as close as you can, generally face-to-face in conversation. You lean in so as to fully absorb every morsel of information they have to offer. You don't mind being away from your phone and you don't notice other potential dating partners. It's like you two are the only people in the room.

Others are bound to take note when you are displaying so many signs of attraction, including your crush. It's important, however, to also pay attention to how your crush is responding to your displays of interest in them.

If you're daydreaming about the same person -- reliving conversations, thinking about what they might be doing, and fantasizing about them -- you totally have a crush.
If you're daydreaming about the same person -- reliving conversations, thinking about what they might be doing, and fantasizing about them -- you totally have a crush. | Source

Evaluating Your Crush's Interest

Now that you know you have a crush, evaluate how the object of your affection is reacting to your romantic interest. Try some fun, playful flirting and assess whether the attraction seems mutual. (If at any point they turn you down, honor their refusal, obviously.) Do they return your smile and eye contact, move in closer, seem eager to talk with you or do they instead seem less interested and make excuses to get going? Look for the pattern. You might also ask for their phone and social media contact info, but don't let this replace in-person communications. Their eagerness to communicate with you and depth of engagement should tell you whether they're into you.

Sources

1Melinda Wenner Moyer. "Eye Contact: How Long Is Too Long?" Scientific American, 1 Jan. 2016, www.scientificamerican.com/article/eye-contact-how-long-is-too-long/.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

Questions & Answers

    © 2019 FlourishAnyway

    Comments

      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment
      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 days ago from USA

        Abbie - I appreciate your comment and wish you much happiness.

      • profile image

        Abbie 

        4 days ago

        thank you for the info on my crush I did not know I like him.

      • Trooly profile image

        Moses Killman 

        8 days ago

        That's so thoughtful of you.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        9 days ago from USA

        Moses Killman - Thanks. You must remember what it's like to be a young person with these questions. I have had this question from readers so much that I decided to write an article about it to address their concerns and questions.

      • Trooly profile image

        Moses Killman 

        10 days ago

        Nice article. I enjoyed it. It made me laugh for some reason.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 weeks ago from USA

        Patricia - You had me chuckling. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

      • pstraubie48 profile image

        Patricia Scott 

        3 weeks ago from North Central Florida

        Been there and done that. I am sure that I checked off all ten on your list. It has been many years since I had a crush but I have crystal clear memories of those days. Thanks for sharing. Angels are headed your way this evening. ps

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 weeks ago from USA

        Linda - I appreciate your stopping by!

      • AliciaC profile image

        Linda Crampton 

        3 weeks ago from British Columbia, Canada

        You've shared some interesting and useful information, Flourish. I expect it will be greatly appreciated by some young readers.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 weeks ago from USA

        Iqra - Thank you for reading and commenting. I have a number of young readers who ask about this information.

      • Iqra431 profile image

        Iqra 

        3 weeks ago from Pakistan

        reminds me of having a crush on someone - that Crush makes you feel very crazy - makes you feel excited - makes you feel worried ....

        interesting read!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 weeks ago from USA

        Linda - You could write the book then!

      • Carb Diva profile image

        Linda Lum 

        3 weeks ago from Washington State, USA

        Ohmygoodness am I out of the loop. Mr. Carb and I have been together for over 40 years. I guess you could say that I (still) have a crush on him.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 weeks ago from USA

        Dora - Some of the questions from young people are quite interesting. For example, one planned to tell their crush they liked them in a very public way by pointing to them in the audience after singing a song on stage. If I can prevent such a misstep with pointers that's a good thing.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 weeks ago from USA

        Shannon - When my daughter was a high school freshman she was on the cross country team. There was a guy (who is a good friend of hers now) who kept slowing down to keep pace with her, trying to talk with her. She didn't know why he was doing that so every time he tried to meet her pace, she ran faster to get away from him. I had to clue her in that he probably had a crush on her and just wanted to get to know her. They were both in a special engineering program so the awkwardness kinda fit. We laugh about it now.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 

        3 weeks ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks for the information, not because I'm having crushes, but because I may know some young ones who do. Brings back memories, though. Good read!

      • shanmarie profile image

        Shannon Henry 

        3 weeks ago from Texas

        Oh gosh. It seems like nowadays the kids are crushing on each other younger and younger. I think my daughter had her first "crush" in 1st grade. Remember the days of holding hands on the playground? "Check Yes or No" style. LOL

        She is only 12, but she wants me to go let her hang out with a boy (supposedly only a friend) in the park alone. My rule is that at least one adult must be present. Don't think she's gonna change my mind, either. LOL

        But this particular article has Lila McCann's "Crush" song in my head:

        It's just a crush I'm feeling

        Walking on the ceiling

        My whole world's upside down

        It's just a crush I know it

        Don't know where we're going but I like it where we are right now Too soon to be too much

        I'm not ready to fall in love

        It's just a crush, a crush

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 weeks ago from USA

        Shannon - I hate those damn moving ads. I get a lot of questions related to this topic. Some of the questions are really sweet. Since my daughter is a little older now and understands crushes its fun to answer questions from young people who are still navigating their way. It's a complicated world out there. A lot of times they ask about dating people older than they are and I typically tell the younger ones not more than a grade or at most two. There's actually a formula for adults though on age differences among dating partners.

      • shanmarie profile image

        Shannon Henry 

        3 weeks ago from Texas

        This was interesting. Unfortunately, Maven or Google, whichever is responsible, decided to place a giant moving add in the middle of your article that covers up one of the middle capsules for me. But I can say that I remember those youthful days well. Unfortunately, I was foolish enough to eventually date my high school crush, who was a couple of grades ahead of me and a player that remained one even after high school.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 weeks ago from USA

        Devika - When someone stares at you because they have a crush it's easy to think they're making fun of you or being odd, especially if one or both partners are new at flirting.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 weeks ago from USA

        Pamela - Thank you. I am asked a lot of the same questions by young people, each with a slightly different scenario.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 weeks ago from USA

        Eric - I've been telling my husband all week that I have a crush on him. At first he smiled, then he said "thanks," later he just nodded, now he just pretends he doesn't hear me.

      • DDE profile image

        Devika Primić 

        3 weeks ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

        A useful hub on ''How to Know When You Have a Crush,'' I overlooked many of these signs mentioned here I guess at that time it just didn't occur to me.

      • Pamela99 profile image

        Pamela Oglesby 

        3 weeks ago from Sunny Florida

        It has been quite some time since I had a crush on anyone, but all of your conclusions seem to e right on target. This article is very interesting.

      • Ericdierker profile image

        Eric Dierker 

        3 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

        A good and fun read. I had to think of my wife. In good times it kind of goes like this.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 weeks ago from USA

        John - You have me laughing. I knew you were confused about this. In all sincerity, I get a lot of questions from young people on the subject as a result of one of my playlist. There are some questions that I've answered so often that I just need to write two related articles to address their concerns specifically.

      • Jodah profile image

        John Hansen 

        3 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        this is an interesting article, Flourish. Now I know what signs to look for.

      working

      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://pairedlife.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

      Show Details
      Necessary
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Features
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Marketing
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Statistics
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
      ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)