A beauty consultant and former hairdresser by profession, Jayne has been helping men and women improve their appearance for almost 20 years.
If you're a young man who doubts his attractiveness and the likelihood of ever finding somebody to love, doubt no more.
Find out how to improve your physical appearance, increase your self-confidence, and put on the charm to attract almost any girl you desire.
Grabbing Her Attention
You’ve seen this girl around, and you really like her. The trouble is, it seems she hasn’t seen you. And even if she did once look your way, she hasn’t bothered looking again.
Before you can ask your crush out, you have to whet her appetite. You have to get her to notice you, to like what she sees, and to want to look again.
Take a Look in the Mirror
The first thing to do is take a good, critical look in the mirror.
You may argue that a virtuous girl would judge you by your character and not your appearance, but you want to get yourself noticed, and most people initially like one another because of the way they look. Physical attraction is the first attraction.
Are You a Good Match?
When you look in the mirror, imagine yourself hand in hand with the girl (or the type of girl) who occupies your dreams. Ask yourself if you look odd together rather than like a perfectly matched, romantic couple.
If so, it’s because you don’t appear to have anything in common. That could be the reason she hasn’t yet paid you any attention.
The Right Image
To get her attention, you have to look as though you might share some of her interests.
If she’s a goth, for example, she no doubt likes goth guys who listen to goth music and go to goth hang-outs to meet goth girls. If she’s the girlie type, she probably won’t find you attractive if you’re the grungy type—her ambition is more likely a mature-looking, clean-cut guy who drives a fast car with which to chauffeur her to smart restaurants and trendy clubs.
So, if you don’t seem to have anything in common with her, the first thing to do is adopt an image she’ll find interesting.
Clothes and Hair
A change of image may entail changing your wardrobe and hairstyle. But whichever fashion you choose, you have to wear it to your best advantage.
Your hair should be cut and combed in such a way that it improves facial symmetry, which is a decisive factor in terms of physical attractiveness. And the cut and design of your clothes should affect your figure positively—girls like sturdy, well-proportioned men.
Do You Have the Physique?
A woman is intuitively attracted to strong, virile looking men who are capable of protecting her and—eventually—her brood.
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That isn’t to say you need a physique worthy of Mr. Universe, but basic vitality is a very appealing attribute.
Because it takes a while to get your body into shape, it’s a good idea to watch your weight and visit the gym even during times when you haven't got your eye on a girl.
If you’re not the type who builds muscle easily, a workout will still make you feel stronger, which will give you an attractive air of self-assurance and confidence.
Controlling Skin and Hair Condition
Few girls like men with spots, greasy hair, and dandruff. You’ll get good skin and hair condition through healthy diet, plenty of exercise, and a daily grooming regimen.
Skin and hair problems are at their worst during puberty and can last until you’re in your early twenties, but you can keep them under control with products formulated for your skin and hair type.
Having a clearer complexion will boost your confidence no end. Girls like confident men.
If none of the acne remedies you’ve tried from the drugstore seem to help, visit a doctor who can prescribe a more effective treatment like tretinoin.
Nothing aggravates acne like soap, which is the main ingredient of shaving foams and gels. When you shave, use jojoba oil instead. It’s a perfect shaving lubricant as well as being non-comedogenic, meaning it won’t exacerbate acne.
How to shave with jojoba oil:
- Wet your face with warm water
- Massage the oil into your beard area
- Shave as usual, but keep the razor wet at all times
- Rinse your face
- Remove excess oil with a cotton pad
- Follow up with your usual acne treatment
If you’re plagued by dandruff, let a doctor prescribe an appropriate treatment—there are several types and causes of the condition, which means finding an effective shampoo without the help of a doctor could take forever.
A girl loves to smell a guy’s hair and run her fingers through it, but only if it’s squeaky clean.
The dilemma of greasy hair is that the more you wash it, the more quickly it becomes greasy again.
One way around this is to shave it off. Stroking a stubbly cropped or shaven head appeals to many a woman. Or use a dry shampoo between washes. It absorbs oiliness and makes hair smell fresh.
Will She Like the Way You Smell?
Smell is a critical factor if you want to attract a girl.
Natural Body Scent
Your natural body scent is determined by your body chemistry and plays a huge role in physical attractiveness.
Have you ever wondered why you don’t like somebody in spite of their being a nice person? We’re not consciously aware of it, but it’s because natural body scent influences us when we decide whether or not we like another person.
Unfortunately, you can’t manipulate your natural scent to make others favor you, but you can make sure you always smell clean.
Nothing is more off-putting for a girl than nasty odors. Shower and change your clothes daily, use underarm deodorant, clean your teeth at least twice a day, and chew gum for sweet smelling breath—girls like men who are nice to kiss.
If you can’t afford a high-end cologne, it’s best not to wear one at all. Cheap fragrances are cloying and demonstrate bad taste.
Girls Like Nice Hands
Most women enjoy the feel of hard-working, calloused hands, but dry, chapped hands are very unattractive.
Use hand cream, keep your nails clipped and clean, and push your cuticles back. But don’t overdo it—perfectly manicured hands and buffed nails are unmanly.
Corrective Cosmetics for Men
Don’t be afraid to use corrective cosmetics.
There are medicated compact powders available at drugstores that take the greasy sheen off oily or acne prone skin. Better still are blotting papers that fit in any pocket and can be used throughout the day.
If you’re fair-haired, a touch of brown lash and brow gel can add discreet definition to your eyes.
Pasty men can benefit from self-tanning products to lend a healthy glow—best are "tanning towels" for a natural-looking, even tan.
Body hair, beards, sideburns, and mustaches are a matter of taste, but overgrown eyebrows and hairy ears and nostrils are another matter.
Keep your eyebrows under control, and invest in a special nose and ear trimmer. Your barber or hairdresser can advise you further.
Asking for a Date
If you’ve been following the above advice, it’s possible that the girl you're interested in has already noticed you and approached you. If not, you’ll have to approach her to ask her for a date. But before you do, make sure you can answer "yes" to all eight of the following questions:
- Do you look as though you have something in common with the girl you like?
- Do your clothes and hairstyle affect your appearance positively?
- Do you feel strong and look healthy?
- Is your skin and hair condition under control?
- Do you smell good?
- Are your hands presentable?
- Are you rid of all unwanted hair?
- Do you feel self-assured, confident, and attractive?
But Before You Ask Her Out ...
If she has no idea who you are, asking her out just like that may seem a little abrupt. And why should she be interested in you, anyway? It could be love at first sight, but that’s unlikely. It’s a good idea to make yourself familiar to her beforehand.
Get in Her Line of Vision
Frequent some of her favorite hang-outs (without stalking her), and get in her line of vision as much as is decently possible. But make it seem as though you haven’t seen her—that means, avoid eye contact for the time being.
Be polite and courteous to everyone she sees you with; you want her to like you, so you have to show her that you’re likable. Make it look as though you’re always having a great time. Girls want a sociable guy they can have fun with.
Make Eye Contact
When you’re sure she’s started to notice you, make eye contact and throw her your sweetest smile. If she looks away, remind yourself there are more fish in the sea. But if she smiles back, you’re probably more than halfway there.
Now You Can Ask for a Date
But don't ask her out straight away. Now it's her turn to send you some signals. Girls usually smile a lot at guys they like. Or she may play hard to get, so you'll have to play along—but soon you'll be talking to one another, and after a few conversations, you can officially ask her out on a date.
Use all your charm when you ask, but don't be slimy and don't grovel. Slimy or groveling men come across as amusing at best and creepy at worst.
What if She Says "No"?
No matter what your positive attributes—how charming you are, how good-looking you are, how clean and fresh you smell, how rich you are—there's no guarantee she'll say "yes".
If she makes it obvious that she’s not interested in you romantically, don’t make it seem like a big deal. Forget her and move on to the next. As previously mentioned, there are more fish in the sea, and now you know how to catch them.
© 2014 Jayne Lancer