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How to Get Over a Crush You See Every Day: 5 Effective Tips

Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love.

Ah, the smell of a plant's reproductive parts. Sniff, sniff!

Ah, the smell of a plant's reproductive parts. Sniff, sniff!

Getting Over Crushes–A Problem of Inexperience

Ah, young love. Though we are susceptible to “crushes” at any age, when we’re youthfully inexperienced, we especially have a tendency to latch onto the idea of being with a specific person. We look at them every day and let fantasies about them play in our heads. We romanticize them and view them as overly perfect, our brain filtering out all their flaws.

If only we could be with this person! Our life would be complete if only they would pay us some attention, we think to ourselves. We build such a beautiful image of them, that it’s hard to see past that mental wall and notice the human that is underneath, so lots of times we’re too intimidated to tell them how we feel.

Other times, they reject us. This certainly sucks. It’s even worse when it’s a crush that we see every day, because it can get awkward fast.

When you’ve built up all that courage to tell them how you feel and they act dismissive, of course it’s going to hurt. Either way, though, you have to find a way to get over this, or else you may find yourself stuck. You don’t want to dwell on just one person too much—especially if they don’t love you back—because it can make it harder to find someone who actually will be compatible with you.

So, here are a few ways to get over your crush, whether they rejected you, or whether you’ve just given up on trying to get with them because they are already taken or they’ve joined the monkhood or something like that.

How to Get Over a Crush You See Every Day

  1. Ask Them Out Anyway, Then Date Them
  2. Become Friends With Them
  3. Find Someone Else to Fawn Over
  4. Find Something More Important Than Your Crush
  5. Get Experience

1. Ask Them Out Anyway, Then Date Them

If you’re standing around, making excuses for why they’re “out of your league,” then you need to at least try, or else you’ll have a much harder time getting over it. Unless you met them at work and your job has a zero tolerance policy on fraternization, what do you have to lose?

Maybe they’re with someone else and you don’t want to be a home-wrecker. This is a valid concern. Keep an eye out for any signs of a breakup, and if they’re single again, swoop in after a few weeks.

Regardless of how you approach it, if they are responsive and they agree to start dating you, then you have succeeded in a major step! If you can date them for awhile, or even get into a relationship with them, you will actually get to know their real selves (hopefully), and not the image that you built up in your mind. This will give you a huge advantage.

Once that perfect image of them that you created comes crashing down and shatters into a million pieces, you might find that you don’t like them anymore. Nothing helps you get over a crush like actually dating someone and seeing how annoying they really are. Mission accomplished!

2. Become Friends With Them

Similar to the strategy above, if you can’t date them because they already have a significant other, or for some other reason, then strive to become friends with them. Don’t just be acquaintances—be close friends. You want to get as close as you can, so that you get to witness even all of their bad habits.

Often, what makes us insanely attracted to someone to the point where we have a persistent “crush,” is the whole mystery of who they are. We see a few things that we really like, so we’re extremely curious about the rest. We fill in the holes of our knowledge with imagined things, and usually those things are way more idealistic than the reality.

However, once you’ve heard your crush blowing a loud trumpet into the toilet bowl a few times, or seen them picking their nose and wiping it under the driver’s seat of their car, then your feelings will probably start to wane a little. At the very least, if you still like the person, then you’ll know that it’s a more mature infatuation instead of the fantasy world of a crush.

Friends?

Friends?

3. Find Someone Else to Fawn Over

You could say that you don’t need anyone else to get over someone, and this is true. In theory, you really don’t need a rebound, and in fact it’s usually better not to have one. However, it’s also true that it’s often much easier to get over a persistent crush on someone if you meet someone that you like better.

Your crush may seem like the only person in the world at first, but the truth is that there are plenty of attractive people out there. Even if your crush is “special,” there’s no use dwelling over it if you can’t be with them. More than one person can be special in your life. If you’ve never felt so strongly about anyone, then you’re probably a bit inexperienced, so you’ll just have to take my word for it: You crush may seem amazing now, but one day you will probably ask yourself why you even liked them.

Pick someone that actually shows an interest in you and start dating. Soon enough, you’ll forget about your crush. Try to avoid longing for someone else while you’re with your new lover, too—this could sabotage the relationship.

4. Find Something More Important Than Your Crush

Get a hobby. Start volunteering. Write a novel. Find out what (not who) you think is most important in life and start to pursue it. Many times we fixate and obsess over people because we are unfulfilled in other areas of our lives. Address this first. Let something else take up your idle hours so that you don’t have time to give any attention to your crush.

Goals.

Goals.

5. Get Experience

Trying to get over someone that you see every day can be rough in the moment, but if you zoom out to look at the bigger picture, you’ll realize that it’s actually part of a bigger problem. If you are crushing on people that you can’t be with and those feelings are so disruptive that you have to “get over” them, then your love life is probably made up mostly of a fantasy world.

You are too inexperienced. Your romances exist in your mind. You may not even realize that this is the case. Some people go through decades of their life, not realizing that they had never really experienced mutual love with someone in the real world, because they were too preoccupied with the idealistic “what if” in their mind. They were too lost in the internal world that was full of crushes and perfect people.

Real love is far from perfect. Real lovers are flawed and human. Sometimes they are impatient, or rude, or even “uncool” and unattractive. Your love for them will wax and wane like the moon, even if your relationship lasts for years.

If you find yourself bouncing from crush to crush, and nothing ever actually happens for you, then it’s time to get some real-life experience. Get on a dating site. Try contacting a matchmaker (really). Join a local club or organization where people share your interests and connect with someone.

The point is that you’re going to want to bombard yourself with real-world experience. Have you ever noticed how older people don’t usually fall into that “puppy love” infatuation and have obsessive crushes on people the way that young people do? It’s not because they’re crusty and old and don’t believe in love (most of the time, anyway), it’s because they normally have more experience when it comes to romance.

They already know that love isn’t always a bowl full of cherries—nor is it the miraculous answer to every problem that we face in life or every void that we feel in ourselves. It also doesn’t have to be a source of constant suffering and pain. Basically, it doesn’t have to be so extreme.

So perhaps the best thing that you can do if you have a crush that you see every day that you just can’t seem to let go of, is to ask an older, more experienced person what they think. They will probably have a few words to put the situation into perspective for you.

Your Crush

© 2017 Jorge Vamos

Comments

Plutonian on May 17, 2019:

I have a crush on a guy with soft and warm hands ,i have a crush on a guy who is kind(to others not me though:),i have a crush on a guy with dimples,i have a crush on a guy who kissed my bestfriend knowing i liked him,i have a crush on a guy who always finds an excuse to leave when I'm close,i have a crush on a guy who flirts with my friends in front of me,i have a crush on a guy who hurts me everyday whenever i see him,i have a crush on a guy who is the reason my face is always puffy and red,i have a crush and i want it to end

Bakugo on May 02, 2019:

I was in a video chat and all of a sudden my crush said, "Okay, I admit, I liked { friend that is a girl } during the first part of the year. But after that I didn't!!" That's when I realized.. I should give up on him. His friend is way better than me.

Bella on April 30, 2019:

I found out that my crush liked one of my best friends I was really upset cause I really liked tis boy

shaik on April 10, 2019:

i have a crush on aguy and he is the worst attitude fellow and rejected me

Stephanie on April 10, 2019:

I have a crush on a psychopath, I know that he's not the best person ever but I don't know how to get rid of my feelings for him...

renne on April 07, 2019:

my crush is my classmate and we are close. i have been crushing on him for years now and i cannot get over it still. we will be separating soon as school finishes and i don't know what to do, i really like him so much and i become a mess whenever he dates random girls..

kristin on February 16, 2019:

i have a crush on a guy at work that initiated interest. i was open to him. after a couple of months of him chasing me i asked if he had a girlfriend (twice) and he said no.so approaching about month four of him really just making his presence known,i told him i liked him in a subtle way..he said he was flattered but he has a girlfriend in another state. so i was ready to take it..shit happens! this was december and he still pursues me. im still very attracted to him,nothing ever happened between us. he has me so confused..i dont know if im supposed to wait for him or tell him to leave me alone.i have not lead him on in anyway. he is a distraction at my work and its affecting my prefomance

Erline on December 13, 2018:

I have a crush on my best friend. I told her how I feel, and she said she doesn't like me back, but she acts so flirty around me!

Auvern on December 07, 2018:

Thank you, this gave me some perspective. I'm not inexperienced nor young and I'm baffled this is happening to me. I'll take the Get a Hobby approach.

really cool on November 22, 2018:

just try to take hints and if u can... get over the person and move on, even though it feels impossible just keep trying until you finally succeed

People suck on November 14, 2018:

I asked a guy out and he told me likes one of my really good friends and i still cant get over him even though he is a total jerk.

Ughhh school crush on October 27, 2018:

There’s this guy I’ve liked for over 2 years now. I really don’t want to be like this anymore and I want to date this new person who I like and likes me back. We both want to date eachother but this guy is getting in the way. I want to talk it out with the person I want to get together with but I don’t know how cooperative they’ll be because of the whole situation

lmao what lettuce on September 24, 2018:

I see my crush every day. At school, I even sit with them. We are friends and it's really hard to tell them. I guess I'll just need to get over it.

beep beep lettuce on September 23, 2018:

ok so I know for a fact that my crush likes my friend and Im really scared shell go out with him because she doesnt know I like him.I need to get over him asap...hopefully this helps

Someone on August 17, 2018:

What if Your crush has a girlfriend and he says he dosent like you but its obivious that he is flirting

Juro on April 11, 2018:

yeah but what about this,every time I am close to this person my heart beat so fast,and I get pretty clumsy and uncomfortable,how do you expect me to ask this person out,if I can not even say a word to them?

Random on January 09, 2018:

Let’s hope these steps work

Kikki on January 09, 2018:

I was using sinuasu lui technique on her facebook page and it work greats.

Jess on January 07, 2018:

I've have been mesmerized by a work colleague for a number of months now.. They are just so perfect to me. And I decided to take the plunge and tell her how I felt. Luckily she responded in a more positive way than a negative way but only sees me as a friend which crushed me. We are closer than ever as friends now but I still think of her as part of my future. I love her. I just wish she felt the same. I've not felt this way about anybody before.

dashingscorpio from Chicago on February 19, 2017:

"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

- Oscar Wilde

Anyone who has a "crush" on someone who doesn't even know that (they) are alive (and they see them everyday???) is in for a heartache.

I'd probably say skip the "Become Friends With Them" tactic because being locked in the "Friend Zone" can be pure torture!

Listening to them go on about some other person as they confide in you will only drive you crazy. And if you work up the nerve to reveal the true nature of your feelings (they may feel betrayed).

This is especially true if you're a guy who (fooled) a girl into thinking you were content with being "platonic friends" while all the while you were secretly lusting after her and hoping for a chance to break through.

Women invented the "friend zone"!

Rarely do guys in their "friend zone" become their lovers!

On the other hand guys might have sex with a girl who has a crush on them even if they have no intention of ever entering into a relationship with them. Naturally this can cause a girl with a crush heartache.