How to Get Over a Crush You See Every Day: 5 Effective Tips

Updated on March 21, 2017
thehands profile image

After seeing many friends (or himself) seduced by love, only to crash and burn afterwards, Jorge writes advice based on his observations.

Getting Over Crushes – A Problem of Inexperience

Ah, young love. Though we are susceptible to “crushes” at any age, when we’re youthfully inexperienced, we especially have a tendency to latch onto the idea of being with a specific person. We look at them every day and let fantasies about them play in our heads. We romanticize them and view them as overly perfect, our brain filtering out all their flaws.

If only we could be with this person! Our life would be complete if only they would pay us some attention, we think to ourselves. We build such a beautiful image of them, that it’s hard to see past that mental wall and notice the human that is underneath, so lots of times we’re too intimidated to tell them how we feel.

Other times, they reject us. This certainly sucks. It’s even worse when it’s a crush that we see every day, because it can get awkward fast.

When you’ve built up all that courage to tell them how you feel and they act dismissive, of course it’s going to hurt. Either way, though, you have to find a way to get over this, or else you may find yourself stuck. You don’t want to dwell on just one person too much—especially if they don’t love you back—because it can make it harder to find someone who actually will be compatible with you.

So here are a few ways to get over your crush, whether they rejected you, or whether you’ve just given up on trying to get with them because they are already taken or they’ve joined the monkhood or something like that:

Ah, the smell of a plant's reproductive parts. Sniff, sniff!
Ah, the smell of a plant's reproductive parts. Sniff, sniff!

1) Ask Them Out Anyway, Then Date Them

If you’re standing around, making excuses for why they’re “out of your league,” then you need to at least try, or else you’ll have a much harder time getting over it. Unless you met them at work and your job has a zero tolerance policy on fraternization, what do you have to lose?

Maybe they’re with someone else and you don’t want to be a home-wrecker. This is a valid concern. Keep an eye out for any signs of a breakup, and if they’re single again, swoop in after a few weeks.

Regardless of how you approach it, if they are responsive and they agree to start dating you, then you have succeeded in a major step! If you can date them for awhile, or even get into a relationship with them, you will actually get to know their real selves (hopefully), and not the image that you built up in your mind. This will give you a huge advantage.

Once that perfect image of them that you created comes crashing down and shatters into a million pieces, you might find that you don’t like them anymore. Nothing helps you get over a crush like actually dating someone and seeing how annoying they really are. Mission accomplished!

2) Become Friends With Them

Similar to the strategy above, if you can’t date them because they already have a significant other, or for some other reason, then strive to become friends with them. Don’t just be acquaintances—be close friends. You want to get as close as you can, so that you get to witness even all of their bad habits.

Often, what makes us insanely attracted to someone to the point where we have a persistent “crush,” is the whole mystery of who they are. We see a few things that we really like, so we’re extremely curious about the rest. We fill in the holes of our knowledge with imagined things, and usually those things are way more idealistic than the reality.

However, once you’ve heard your crush blowing a loud trumpet into the toilet bowl a few times, or seen them picking their nose and wiping it under the driver’s seat of their car, then your feelings will probably start to wane a little. At the very least, if you still like the person, then you’ll know that it’s a more mature infatuation instead of the fantasy world of a crush.

Friends?
Friends?

3) Find Someone Else to Fawn Over

You could say that you don’t need anyone else to get over someone, and this is true. In theory, you really don’t need a rebound, and in fact it’s usually better not to have one. However, it’s also true that it’s often much easier to get over a persistent crush on someone if you meet someone that you like better.

Your crush may seem like the only person in the world at first, but the truth is that there are plenty of attractive people out there. Even if your crush is “special,” there’s no use dwelling over it if you can’t be with them. More than one person can be special in your life. If you’ve never felt so strongly about anyone, then you’re probably a bit inexperienced, so you’ll just have to take my word for it: You crush may seem amazing now, but one day you will probably ask yourself why you even liked them.

Pick someone that actually shows an interest in you and start dating. Soon enough, you’ll forget about your crush. Try to avoid longing for someone else while you’re with your new lover, too—this could sabotage the relationship.

4) Find Something More Important Than Your Crush

Get a hobby. Start volunteering. Write a novel. Find out what (not who) you think is most important in life and start to pursue it. Many times we fixate and obsess over people because we are unfulfilled in other areas of our lives. Address this first. Let something else take up your idle hours so that you don’t have time to give any attention to your crush.

Goals.
Goals.

5) Get Experience

Trying to get over someone that you see every day can be rough in the moment, but if you zoom out to look at the bigger picture, you’ll realize that it’s actually part of a bigger problem. If you are crushing on people that you can’t be with and those feelings are so disruptive that you have to “get over” them, then your love life is probably made up mostly of a fantasy world.

You are too inexperienced. Your romances exist in your mind. You may not even realize that this is the case. Some people go through decades of their life, not realizing that they had never really experienced mutual love with someone in the real world, because they were too preoccupied with the idealistic “what if” in their mind. They were too lost in the internal world that was full of crushes and perfect people.

Real love is far from perfect. Real lovers are flawed and human. Sometimes they are impatient, or rude, or even “uncool” and unattractive. Your love for them will wax and wane like the moon, even if your relationship lasts for years.

If you find yourself bouncing from crush to crush, and nothing ever actually happens for you, then it’s time to get some real-life experience. Get on a dating site. Try contacting a matchmaker (really). Join a local club or organization where people share your interests and connect with someone.

The point is that you’re going to want to bombard yourself with real-world experience. Have you ever noticed how older people don’t usually fall into that “puppy love” infatuation and have obsessive crushes on people the way that young people do? It’s not because they’re crusty and old and don’t believe in love (most of the time, anyway), it’s because they normally have more experience when it comes to romance.

They already know that love isn’t always a bowl full of cherries—nor is it the miraculous answer to every problem that we face in life or every void that we feel in ourselves. It also doesn’t have to be a source of constant suffering and pain. Basically, it doesn’t have to be so extreme.

So perhaps the best thing that you can do if you have a crush that you see every day that you just can’t seem to let go of, is to ask an older, more experienced person what they think. They will probably have a few words to put the situation into perspective for you.

Your Crush

Is your crush the most perfect person in the whole wide world?

See results

Questions & Answers

    © 2017 Jorge Vamos

    Comments

      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment

      • profile image

        Juro 

        3 months ago

        yeah but what about this,every time I am close to this person my heart beat so fast,and I get pretty clumsy and uncomfortable,how do you expect me to ask this person out,if I can not even say a word to them?

      • profile image

        Random 

        6 months ago

        Let’s hope these steps work

      • profile image

        Kikki 

        6 months ago

        I was using sinuasu lui technique on her facebook page and it work greats.

      • profile image

        Jess 

        6 months ago

        I've have been mesmerized by a work colleague for a number of months now.. They are just so perfect to me. And I decided to take the plunge and tell her how I felt. Luckily she responded in a more positive way than a negative way but only sees me as a friend which crushed me. We are closer than ever as friends now but I still think of her as part of my future. I love her. I just wish she felt the same. I've not felt this way about anybody before.

      • dashingscorpio profile image

        dashingscorpio 

        17 months ago

        "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

        - Oscar Wilde

        Anyone who has a "crush" on someone who doesn't even know that (they) are alive (and they see them everyday???) is in for a heartache.

        I'd probably say skip the "Become Friends With Them" tactic because being locked in the "Friend Zone" can be pure torture!

        Listening to them go on about some other person as they confide in you will only drive you crazy. And if you work up the nerve to reveal the true nature of your feelings (they may feel betrayed).

        This is especially true if you're a guy who (fooled) a girl into thinking you were content with being "platonic friends" while all the while you were secretly lusting after her and hoping for a chance to break through.

        Women invented the "friend zone"!

        Rarely do guys in their "friend zone" become their lovers!

        On the other hand guys might have sex with a girl who has a crush on them even if they have no intention of ever entering into a relationship with them. Naturally this can cause a girl with a crush heartache.

      working

      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://pairedlife.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

      Show Details
      Necessary
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Features
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Marketing
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Statistics
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)