What's the Problem?
Why is flirtatious conversation so difficult for most of us? It is because it requires us to release our inhibitions and be free. We often look at it as an audition for a relationship, and we're afraid that we will be rejected. We think that those girls who have boyfriends must be great conversationalists or they have some secret that the rest of us don't know. Trying to come up with something to say on the phone can be so nerve-racking at times. Sometimes, it feels easier to just say nothing at all or avoid that phone call altogether rather than try to have a decent conversation. Well, I'm here to tell you that you too can have a memorable conversation with the man of your dreams. These 8 simple rules are your ticket to flirting heaven!
Has This Ever Happened to You?
Have you ever had this problem? You and a hot guy you meet exchange phone numbers. You call him or he calls you. Once you're on the phone, you don't know what to say! You freeze up. After a number of awkward silences you two finally hang up the phone and you conclude that it was the single most embarrassing experience you have ever had!
Relax. Flirting with a guy is not a chore. It's not a job. It's not an audition. It's fun! You should look at it as a break from a stressful day; a time to unwind. It can be a game. There is no need to be tense or uptight about it. Don't put too high of expectations on a simple conversation. That is counter-productive to the flirting process. Don't start off by asking "how much money do you make," "how many kids do you have," "what is your religion" or any other questions that are far too personal. There is a rule of thumb when flirting. It goes, stay away from religion and politics and when in doubt, talk about the weather. If you need to drink a glass of wine in order to relax, have some. Feel free to slip into something more comfortable. Take off your shoes, let down your hair. The more comfortable you feel, the more comfortable you'll sound on the phone.
Encourage him to talk about himself. The easiest application to this rule is to start a conversation off with "So, what are you doing?" This is after you've said "hello" of course. This is an open ended question that can lead to an entire conversation on pasttimes, hobbies, and the virtue of these. Avoid arguing (until you know him better). Simply ask him questions about the things he says. This will show that you are interested in him and his ideas. You are essentially saying, by your actions, that he is a really interesting person thus giving him a compliment which is flirting rule number three.
Compliments are key. It could be as subtle as giggling at his witty remark or as blatant as saying "You're so funny", but either way you do it, a man loves to have his ego stroked. I would advise that you let him dominate the conversation, but if you find yourself talking for a long time, stop and say "Wow! You're such a good listener!"
Talk about shared experiences. If you have known him for a little while and you have met him and enjoyed his company, bring up the things you enjoyed about the experience. Saying "Remember the time we got caught in the rain..." or whatever the experience, will make him think of you. Anything that makes him think of you is a good thing when flirting. But remember, only bring up good memories. Bad memories will have a negative effect and he will associate you with uncomfortable emotions.
Talk about you body. This is the one rule that that tells you explicitly what to say. Doing this will put images of your body into his mind. This is a form of foreplay. It is subtly erotic and suggestive. Don't be too graphic, this is not phone sex! Give yourself a compliment, or make him compliment you thus causing him to inadvertently fantasize about your body. Here's a line that always works: "I've been working out a lot lately and I'm afraid that my butt may be shrinking." This makes him think about your butt and gives him an open to give you a compliment such as "Your butt looks great to me!"
Make plans. Have you ever gotten off the phone with someone and felt that the conversation was just wasted? Nothing was achieved it was just a series of uncoordinated ramblings. That is why making plans is a great idea. It gives the conversation a purpose, it connects the two people engaged in conversation and it's a great flirting tactic! It tells the person you're talking to that "I want to spend some more time with you." You can initiate the plan-making by saying "We should totally hang out," or something of that nature. Making the plans can range from saying "I can't wait to talk to you again" (thus arranging another conversation) to organizing a date. When making plans it is best to be as specific as possible and set dates. "See you later," is not as effective as "I'll call you tomorrow". "We should hang out sometime" does not imply the same commitment as "My friend is throwing a party next weekend and I would love for you to come with me." Making plans are crucial to an effective flirtacious encounter, because it sets the stage for another encounter.
- Encourage him to talk about himself
- Compliments are key
- Talk about a shared experience
- Talk about your body
- Make plans
- Eliminate distractions
Eliminate distractions. Turn off the TV/radio. Don't sit in front of the computer. Make sure the kids are asleep or at day care or school. Get the chores done first. Do not let anything distract you from this conversation. If you seem too distracted during a conversation it can be a HUGE turn-off. It shows that he is not important to you.
How to Get a Guy to Call You
Flirting don'ts. We have talked about what you should do to have a flirtacious conversation. Here are a list of things you should not do when flirting on the phone:
Do NOT burp into the phone!
Do NOT eat while on the phone!
Do NOT chew gum while on the phone! -The sound of you smacking gum is irritating.
Do NOT use the bathroom while on the phone! - Do you really want him to hear you pee? or worse, here you grunting while taking a dump?
Do NOT talk excessively about your past relationships!
Do NOT monopolize the conversation!
Do NOT argue against him about things that are obviously important to him such as religious views.
Do NOT insult him. There is a fine line between playfully teasing someone and insulting someone. Stay as far away from that line as possible!
If you follow all of these rules, you should have a successful flirting encounter. Feel free to leave me a comment telling me how successfully you applied these rules or even let me know of some tricks you came up with on your own.
langa on December 05, 2018:
well I have tried all pf the steps and things seem to be working perfectly but please when you are explaining be more optimistic and thorough amd clear
Chinmay Das from Mumbai, India on January 27, 2014:
Rule 8 seems quite funny.
Seems like a set of guidelines to flirt with someone.