Flirting through texting is easier said than done. Whether you're trying to get into a relationship or just have sex on your mind, you need to exude charm.
For the sake of keeping things brief, this article will focus on the former; flirting with someone you want to date seriously. Texting is a way to show someone you're thinking about them when you're not together. Here are some tricks that will help you inch closer to who you like.
Texting Someone You Just Met
Generally, you want to have made some kind of connection in person before attempting flirtatious or inviting texts. If they don't really know you already, it may be harder to win them over. However, if you want to flirt with someone you just met, a great thing to say is:
"I don't know you very well, but you seem cool. I wouldn't mind getting to know you more."
You could make it slightly more specific to that person, but keep it simple, considerate, and sincere. Sometimes stating the obvious is exactly what you need to do. It's a good text to send to test the waters.
Be Sincere and Take Control
For starters, when it comes to flirting, it is best to be direct. Many people will understand your hints, but it saves a lot of time to just directly say "Hey, would you like to hang out with me?" Most will appreciate your straightforwardness.
You may be hoping that after a long text conversation that the person on the other end will ask you out, you can try it. This works occasionally. But if you're up-front, this may help avoid a long conversation that unintentionally annoys the other person rather than building up chemistry.
Here are some more tips:
- Do not over-text. The conversation should be two-sided, and as close to 50-50 as possible.
- It's okay to send more than one text, especially if the two texts are related and are sent relatively in the same time frame.
- A simple "How are you?" can help break the ice and is a good way to check up on someone if they've been quiet for a while.
- If they're giving you one-word responses, do not go off the deep end; it doesn't necessarily mean they're uninterested. Your ultimate goal is to see each other in person, not to spend hours and hours texting.
- The day after you've been around each other, whether with a group of people or one-on-one, follow up with something funny referring to the event. Try to bring up happy moments in a creative, endearing way. It shows that you enjoy the person and gets them to associate you with positive things.
- Men, if ladies are sending you a lot of texts and they keep mentioning random things to do, they're hoping you'll want to join them and you should ask to join them. They're trying to figure out what interests you, but are probably shy about directly asking you out.
- Be enthusiastic and positive. Don't be a downer. No one wants long, negative texts.
- Ask questions. Some ideas: "What do you think of what happened last night?"; "How long have you lived around here?"; or "If you could be any of the X-Men, which one would you be, and why?"
- If you have gotten them a gift, send them a picture of the wrapped gift and tell them you have something for them.
- Do ask them how their morning, day, or evening went. After you've built a connection you should send these kinds of messages. It shows you've been thinking about them.
- Whenever something goes wrong, say, "I'm sorry."
- Rather than compliment their physique, compliment their character. Tell them when you notice them being generous, funny, kind, gentle, or strong.
- Ask them what they like for dinner, then make plans either to go to a place where that food is served or make it for them.
- Take some days off of texting to give the other person some space. This lets them know you can exist without them.
- Occasionally, use emoticons or smileys.
- If they're a little nerdy, try sending haikus and see if they'll reply with haikus.
- Use exclamation marks sparingly, but use them. It's an indicator that a guy likes you if he is being pretty friendly with the exclamation marks.
- If you honestly don't know what to say, talk about the weather. Weather talk helps break the ice. Plus, there is some cool emoji for weather on the iPhone.
- Find out if they like animals. Do they like dogs? Send them a picture of your dog and ask if they would like to meet it.
- When you are going to meet up, say that you are excited to see them.
- Text the person you are about to meet if you're running late and give them a reason why you're late.
- If you have to cancel, do it as early as possible and reschedule immediately.
- Tell the person that you had a good time with them. (If you did, that is.)
- Be genuine. People can read through smarm and nonsense. Keep it simple and sweet.
- Ask if they like flowers.
- Early on, show only the very tip of the iceberg when it comes to your feelings. Say how you felt holding their hand.
- If you caught them singing a song, send them the lyrics of that song even if you are currently hanging out with them.
- Say, "I miss you," especially if you've been away.
Texting in a Long-Distance Relationship
If you're already in a relationship, then texting can be a great way to keep things going when you can't be together physically.
- Set up times through texting when you can talk on the phone, Skype, or even visit. Text at least three times a week.
- Reassure them that you miss them, that everything will work out, and what you like about them. Let them know you wish you could be there.
- Text them about important dates as reminders. Make sure to be in touch for things like graduation, recitals, family events, weddings, and so forth.
- If they are sick and you can't be there, send them happy texts telling them to get well. Call them if you can.
- Send them pictures of gifts that they gave you and say that you've kept those items in special places.
- Text them inside jokes from the past.
- Ask them questions about what they like about you or what they hope will happen next in the relationship.
- Ask them questions about the cool things they are doing where they live.
- Plan when you will see each other next as this will help take some of the anxiety away and build excitement.
- Find out what is their address and send them a letter so you can write more than you can in a text.
- Text them about what is happening in your own life. Let them know they are missed and loved.
- Ask them what their favorite candy is so you can mail it to them.
- Text them asking about if they remember when you first met, when you first started dating, or when you first started falling in love.
© 2014 Andrea Lawrence