Sabrina loves to write about love, life, and everything in-between in a candid yet humorous approach.
The longing to find love is universal. No matter where in the world you may be, everyone is looking for that special someone, if they haven't yet found them. It's an itch that needs to be scratched, but the search itself can prove to be quite daunting if you don't know where to look or exactly who you're looking for. It can also complicate things in an entirely different way if you already have someone in your life, but know in your heart that he or she is not the one. Where's a person to go from here?
Attracting the right partner is one of the most important things we'll ever do. If you don't make a right choice then your quality of life will be affected dramatically. We all know that feeling when you know you're not doing something right but rather than fixing it we prolong the situation making matters even worse. If you're with someone who you know in your heart is not the one, then you're just killing time. Before attracting the right partner, we have to first get rid of the wrong one. You have to "clean house" so to speak. Get rid of everything and everyone that is not right for you. You have to make room for a better partner to come along.
The person next to us, our partner, is a direct reflection of us. If you're not proud of your partner, proud to be next to them in public and in private, they're probably not right for you. If you know in your heart you could do better and you're way out of their league and it bothers you, then that's a sign that things need to change. There's nothing wrong with dating someone who is out of your league or you're out of theirs as long as that doesn't make the relationship uncomfortable for anyone. If you're dating someone who you want to hide and never go out with, that's not your real love and you're just wasting time.
Once you have decided whether your current partner is right for you or not, you can decide whether you want to keep pursuing that relationship further or not. If not, then you have just made room in your life to attract someone who is better suited to be your partner. I find that making a list of the qualities you definitely want in a potential partner is a helpful exercise. Write down everything you want your partner to have, including their appearance, personality, and even their likes and dislikes. Circle five or ten qualities that are your must haves. Now you know exactly what you are looking for in a future partner. There's no confusion because it's written right there on paper. You never have to lower your standards for anyone because you know exactly what you want and you won't settle for anything less.
Something magical happens when you make that list stating the type of partner you want to attract into your life. There's a sort of shift in your world. Suddenly, you have a vision and you know exactly when someone has those qualities because you know what you're looking for. You don't even waste time looking at "potential partners" because you're not lowering your standards for anyone. It's so much easier to find who you're looking for when you know exactly who that is. Once that person comes into your life, you'll recognize them right away. You'll no longer have to wonder whether they're right for you or not, you'll just know.
After you make that list, you should try and think positive about finding a partner and life in general. It's very difficult to attract a nice partner into your life if you're not a positive person yourself. Every one of our thoughts gives off positive or negative vibes. These vibes make up the energy field around us and everything we attract into our lives is determined by our thoughts. There's no way we can attract a great partner if we're negative people ourselves. That's why it's no wonder that positive people always seem to be happy and have great relationships and negative people tend to attract the same jerks over and over again and then question why they can't get a good man. Well what do all those jerks have in common? You! You attracted every single one of them without even knowing it. If you want to attract a different type of guy, you have to think differently and watch how your life changes around you.
This is exactly what used to happen to me. I used to attract the same type of guy each and every time. I used to expect the guy to let me down and lie to me and that's exactly what happened each and every time. It was like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I got exactly what I expected to get. Obviously I wasn't happy with that result so I slowly started to learn that I deserve better and I wouldn't put up with it anymore. As soon as my mindset changed, and I set some high standards for the types of guys I would accept into my life, my partners started treating me better as well. It was a tough lesson that took many years to learn but I finally learned it and I couldn't be happier. I also learned that if someone thinks your standards are too high then they're not right for you either. The right man will improve himself to fit your standards, not force you to lower them on his behalf.
Attracting the right partner is really a thinking game overall. You attract the type of guy that matches the vibe you give off to life itself. If you're happy and positive, you'll attract the nice guy and if you're negative and bitter, well there's a quite a few jerks you could find coming your way. When we realize this little secret to life, our fate is put right back in our hands. We only find the right love when we're ready for it, and we're ready for it when we're happy and positive and can rightly receive it into our lives. It's a simple concept that can change everything we know about love and how to find it. If you're looking for the love of your life, write down exactly what he or she is going to be like. Finding love is a journey, and having a map is the only way to get to your true destination.
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© 2017 GreenEyes1607
dashingscorpio from Chicago on May 28, 2017:
“Attracting the right partner is one of the most important things we'll ever do.”
Unfortunately this is the mindset that often keeps people from (finding love)! The reality is we cannot control (who) finds us attractive. What is most important is understanding (who we find attractive) and why. Nothing happens until (we) say YES!
“Write down everything you want your partner to have, including their appearance, personality, and even their likes and dislikes. Circle five or ten qualities that are your must haves. Now you know exactly what you are looking for in a future partner.”
Too often people allow “impulsive connections” and “happenstance” to dictate their relationship choices. It’s the equivalent of going shopping without a list! You’re bound to throw anything into your cart.
Having said that Hollywood movies and romance novels have lead us to believe that we’re not supposed to use “our mind” or have a “mate selection process”. Love is supposed to "just happen”. We're not to be proactive but instead "wait". Wrong!
Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart. “Follow your heart but take your brain with you.”
Anyone who is experiencing one bad relationship after another probably needs to reexamine their “mate selection process” or “must haves criteria”. The only thing all of your past relationships have in common is (you).
When we change our circumstances change.
Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself!