Kari is a full-time blogger and ghostwriter. She enjoys writing about how to be happier in life and in love.
3 Secrets To Initiate Attraction in a Woman
There is a common thread between all relationships. That thread is attraction. If attraction is not there, then a relationship will not ensue. (Excluding arranged relationships.)
Attraction can be instantaneous, or it can be a feeling that needs to occur over time. If you meet a woman you like and you are instantly attracted to her, it doesn't mean that she is going to feel the same way. However, that doesn't meant that she will never be attracted to you. It just means she doesn't see the connection yet.
There are some things you can do to cause a woman to become attracted to you in some way, shape or form when you first meet her. This attraction will cause her to become interested in you and say yes to a first date.
1. Don't Take Your Eyes Off Her
Have you ever heard the expression, I couldn't take my eyes off of her? This usually applies to a man who is instantly attracted to a woman's beauty or charm.
When you are really attracted to someone you tend to look at them and maintain more eye contact than you normally would.
For example, if you are talking to a woman who happens to be a co-worker, then your glance probably does not linger after you have finished talking. In fact, during silences you probably do not look at each other at all. It will be the opposite with a woman you are interested in. You will hold your glance during silences - and that glance can be the spark that causes her attraction towards you.
A lingering glance can send shivers up a woman's spine. It shows that you are interested, or possibly fascinated, by her - and it can help to awaken feelings in her that cause her to feel sexy. If you can make a woman feel sexy, then she will see you in a new light - and that is how you attract women by not taking your eyes off them.
Remember, do not hold your gaze for an inappropriate amount of time. There is a fine line between sexy and creepy. (You do have to look away sometimes.) It doesn't take much, it just takes more than usual.
In short: A lingering gaze will ignite feelings of attraction in her, and separate you from the average guy she talks to throughout the day. Ensure that you gaze at her at moments that your normally wouldn't gaze at someone, like after speaking, to send the appropriate message to her.
2. Create Attraction Through Perceived Intimacy
You can create a feeling of intimacy with a woman, even if you just met her. I'm not talking about creepy sexual talk; I'm talking about having a conversation with a woman in the same manner you would with a girlfriend you have been dating for a while.
By talking to a woman as if you are already dating with her, you can trick her brain into feeling secure and comfortable around you (as if you were in a relationship) and create that feeling of intimacy which is very attractive to a woman.
For example, when you normally approach woman you probably focus on general statements such as, "It's a beautiful day today, isn't it?" This is great, and it can start a conversation, but it does not create feelings of intimacy in a woman. It is how strangers talk to each other.
To make it more intimate, you may say something like "We can really use the sun to make everything greener." By saying the word 'we' you are grouping you and her into the same sentence, just as intimate partners would do.
At a bar: If a woman is drinking an alchocholic drink you could say, "we need to be careful of that bartender...he seems to be jipping us on alcohol content."
At a Party: If you notice a woman does not seem to be into the music you could say, "do we need to pretend that we like the music or can we request something different?"
At a sporting event: If you are talking to a woman lined up for the outhouse you can say, "it would be nice if they would supply us with more bathrooms, wouldn't it?" (Us and we go together.)
Those may not be examples that you would ever use, but you get the picture, right? Make a woman feel as though you already have a connection by sneaking in the 'we' and 'us' questions or sentences.
Do not say things like:
- We should get out of here.
- We should really find a new place to hang out.
- We can really use this weather on next date.
Those types of things are way to pushy (as in "I think we are already dating") and will end up creeping her out. If you want to attract women, then keep your 'we' and 'us' questions and statements very general.
Sharing personal information is a well known secret that marketers and sales people use. You will often hear them say, "I totally agree with you," followed by a personal story of their own. It creates a feeling of connection between you and the person trying to sell to you, and you instantly like and trust them more because of it. This is the same principle with this tip. You are trying to sell yourself (and your great qualities), and you can influence her to become attracted to the product (you) by creating a bond.
3. Share Something Personal About Yourself
Another way to create a feeling of intimacy is to share something minor about yourself with a woman. This should be something that causes her to wonder what she would be getting herself into with you. Instead, it should be something that allows her to see your sweet and compassionate side.
One of the things that women are attracted to in guys is the ability to be compassionate and understanding. If you walk up to her acting tough and uncaring, then you are not going to create a bond, or intimate feelings towards you. However, if you walk up to her, start a conversation, and mention something personal that gives her a glimpse into your sweet and compassionate, then you are going to cause an instant extra spark of attraction in her.
For example, if she mentions that she loves dogs, then you could mention that you grew up with a dog named Scooby. Say it with a smile and a look of fondness. By giving her that some little bit of information you are showing her that you also love dogs, and that will create a bond between the two of you that will ignite an attraction towards you.
In the end, the above three tips really work to attract women that you just met. They help you create feelings of attraction towards you, and they can do it instantly.
Questions & Answers
Question: I understand this is how you grasp a woman. Is this how you keep their attention?
Answer: To keep their attention, you want to find a balance between being interested and aloof. If you are too needy, they will be turned off. If you are too aloof, they will be turned off. But having a good conversation with a woman is the key to keeping her attention. You need to make her understand that you are a cool guy worthy of her interest and allow her to show you how cool she is, and make sure that you convey the message that you are interested in some way.
Kari (author) on January 07, 2013:
Thanks Karn, appreciate the comment and share.
I have to say that even now, after being with my husband for years, just one lingering gaze can still turn my crank...it's that powerful!
Karen Silverman on January 07, 2013:
Love the part about how not to give up if she isn't attracted to you initially - that she just hasn't 'seen' the connection yet..
i SO agree with your first point - in particular - that eye contact is so powerful and can feel so intimate - while at the same time so simple and socially palatable! Eyes say soo much, and holding her gaze a moment or 2 longer will make her feel not only the center of your universe - but possibly more sexual as well..
i know this from experience...LOL...
well done hub! voting and sharing forward - let's get some traffic round here!
Kari (author) on January 05, 2013:
Thank eHealer. I appreciate the comment.
Deborah from Las Vegas on January 05, 2013:
Very interesting article Relationshipc. The laws of attraction are fascinating and fleeting, your hub gives good insight to some of these instances of attraction. Pinned and Facebooked.