How to Recognize a Worthwhile Man

Updated on September 2, 2019
savvydating profile image

Yves mission is to help women attract positive relationships by establishing personal parameters and greater self-worth.

Consider the following thoughts of a woman who has just spent the night with a guy she really likes:

"I've never felt such a strong connection with anyone. We talked about everything. He was so into me... but yesterday, my call went directly to his voice mail–again. I know how busy he is. Maybe I'll text him. What should I text? He had mentioned something about an out-of-town family thing, but I thought that was last weekend. It's been over two weeks since I've seen him. Maybe I was wrong to have slept with's just that everything felt so right. Why doesn't he call? Then again, he's got this crazy schedule..."

If the above scenario has become all too typical for you, it is time to make some changes in your life. The "desperate to have him and therefore make excuses for him routine" will come back to bite you every single time. Now is the time to stop allowing your feelings to override your good sense. Understand one thing right is useless for any woman to chase after a man who cannot even be bothered to expend the small amount of energy it takes to make a single phone call. If he hasn't called, that's because he doesn't want to call.

Let's fact facts....a brief phone call takes all of five minutes to complete: "Hi pretty lady....just wanted to take a moment to say I've been thinking about you."

That is all he has to say if he really is swamped with work or "pressing matters." If a man cannot find five minutes out of his busy schedule for you, then you do not need to expend any more time thinking about him. He enjoyed your body for a brief time. You were 'two ships that passed in the night' as far as he is concerned. End of short story.

Is he calling you or someone else?
Is he calling you or someone else?

Why He Never Called

Why hasn't he called? First, you need to realize why this man you just met chose to spend time with you in the first place. Here are the facts: Nine times out of ten, he spent the evening with you because: 1) He was game for some physical pleasure or 2) You were eager and available.

He made the decision to enjoy you for the short term and now he is on to new adventures. Perhaps he didn't mean to hurt you. It is even remotely possible that he assumed you were fine with a short term fling, but chances are, he knew better.... which is why he's avoiding your texts now.

Secondly, the only reason he bothered to ask for your phone number is because, frankly, it was the easy way out. Let's face it, what man is going to say, "Well, nice having sex with you. Have a nice life." He prefers to avoid any drama. He realizes that his asking for your phone number "sort of" implies that he might call you. However, his having your number leaves him under no obligation to call, or so goes his thinking.

Now, if you offer yourself up to 'busy schedule guy' again, he’ll likely not pass up the opportunity for more sexual pleasure, that is, if he has nothing more promising, or what he deems promising, on the horizon. But make no mistake, men think differently about sex than women do. Sex and true affection, i.e., caring and love, do not necessarily go hand in hand in a man's mind. The reality is that your 'busy lover' recognized you as an "easy kill." He knew from the beginning that you would allow him to be a "lazy hunter." (More about lazy hunters in the following paragraphs.) Thus, he permitted himself to be a non-committal lover.

Just know that when a man is interested in a woman, he is more than willing to make time in his busy schedule to connect with her. In fact, he wouldn't take the risk of alienating her by not calling within a day or two, for fear that he might get looked over. Therefore, if he hasn't called within a reasonable time, you can be 99% sure he had never planned on calling at all. He had a good time with you, but his feelings didn't run deep. Easy come, easy go.

That being said, there is a 1% chance that your "'missing lover" was actually swamped with work, or that he had a real family emergency. On rare occasions, men may even accidently delete a phone number. If you feel strongly that this might be the case, you can always call, but don't expect much and PLEASE DO NOT ask him out or hint that you are eager and waiting. If he still seems non-committal after your conversation (which you initiated), say goodbye, hang up the phone and NEVER call back. In other words, have some self-respect.

If he isn't calling you back, he really isn't interested in creating a meaningful connection with you.. After all, it takes all of five minutes to make a call.

A Hunting Analogy

Just for fun, consider the following analogy: Let's say you are a deer and you've spotted a hunter coming at you with a loaded rifle. He intends to kill you. Would you wear a sign around your neck which reads, 'Shoot Me'...? Absolutely not. Rather, you would hightail it out of there like the smart, instinctual deer that you are.

In wild game hunting, there are good hunters and lazy hunters. A good, seasoned (deer) hunter has an exceptionally high regard for his quarry. Subsequently, he familiarizes himself with the terrain and habits of deer. The good hunter is patient. He is mentally prepared to endure an inordinate amount of discomfort in order to effect a successful hunt. He has an incredibly strong appreciation for the demands of tracking game. In fact, the good hunter doesn't want an easy kill. He seeks the challenge of an arduous chase. Likewise, a man, who is worth his salt, will happily pursue you, no matter the time or the trouble.

The mystery or “the chase” is often a critical element in romantic love. Sometimes called the “Romeo and Juliet effect,” a situation with challenges or obstructions is likely to intensify one’s passion for a loved one.

— Random History

The Good Hunter

A worthwhile man is actually quite humbled by and appreciative of women, particularly those women whose company he heartily wishes to enjoy. Furthermore, he will happily expend extra time on the one woman who piques his interest more than any other. If he honestly desires a woman, he will go to almost any length to have her. He truly believes she is worth the effort it takes to pursue her with care. Furthermore, the effort he has put forward to know her makes having her that much more precious to him. No doubt, he wouldn't mind winning her over a little sooner at times, but he is willing to practice patience in the hope of eventually capturing her heart. Sounds corny, but it's true. Good men are also romantic fools---in a good way!

Don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise!
Don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise!

The Lazy Hunter

On the other hand, the 'lazy hunter' is only out to slaughter and conquer. He has no interest in the integrity of the hunt and therefore, has no compunction about shooting badly---without the marksmanship needed to effect a clean kill. In fact, afterward, the lazy hunter has no problem walking away and leaving the deer unattended, to bleed alone---something a good hunter would never do!

The bad hunter hasn't much respect for anything. Once he shoots, he leaves quickly to locate the nearest beer cooler---or the next easy kill. Furthermore, if the hunt proves to be somewhat too laborious for his tastes, he will have no problem in stealing the game right out from under another hunter. The lazy hunter is an immoral man. He views the quarry as a commodity---something to be tossed away when it has served his purpose---which was to feed his ego and provide some distraction for the day.

The parallel is clear. The lazy lover, like the lazy hunter, cares only about instant gratification. He shoots and he leaves. You can count on it. Once he is no longer amused or finds the hunt too time consuming, he is gone.

On the other hand, the good lover, like the good hunter, takes pride in a clean chase. He has the ability to wait for what he wants. In short, he practices patience. The good man, like the good hunter, finds purpose and meaning in the chase. He will treasure the memories of his 'hunt' for a lifetime.

How To Know If a Man Is Really Interested In You

  • He includes you in his other interests.
  • He introduces you to family and friends.
  • He safeguards his time with you.
  • He’s more than superficially curious about you.
  • He listens to you and respects your opinion.


We Must Use Our Head Before Committing Our Heart

The good news is that worthwhile men still exist and it really is possible for women to avoid falling into the “Shoot Me” trap. Once a woman learns how to wait before leaping into a sexual relationship with anyone, she has automatically placed herself on the right road to finding happiness. Also, she will have saved herself a lot of unnecessary heartache by choosing to be more discerning and selective about the men she dates.

It is imperative that women commit to taking the time to truly know what kind of man she is dating before she expends too much emotional or sexual energy on a new relationship. She must decide to choose the man who is capable of committing to the chase, while always walking away from the lazy hunter who is entirely incapable of committing to anything beyond his penis. In a nutshell, women must stop making excuses for the lazy hunter and start taking responsibility for her decisions and thus, her ultimate happiness.

A smart lady...Better a book, than bad company.
A smart lady...Better a book, than bad company. | Source

The longer and more deliberate a courtship, the better the prospects for a long marriage. People who have intense, Hollywood-type romances at the beginning are more likely to divorce.

A Smart Woman Expects To Be Respected

The woman who dates wisely is never an 'easy kill.' Her vision is clear. Having put away her rose colored glasses, she makes smart decisions about who she allows into her life. She dates successfully because she likes herself too much to become emotionally invested in a man who is not a caring person. She recognizes that talk is cheap and that, while flattery is sometimes exciting, it is useless and completely superficial, unless his words are accompanied by meaningful actions. The smart woman understands that her future lover has to earn her love through his sincerity and his substance. In short, the savvy woman directs her focus toward men who are primarily positive and loving.

A self-assured woman never knowingly wear a victim's sign around her neck. Her self-worth is the 'weapon' that frees her from falling prey to 'lazy hunters.' Consequently, she turns her focus toward 'good hunters' only. When a woman is ready for love, she must choose relationships with worthwhile men who have the moral fortitude to see things through to the end. Good men have just as much desire to find a person of substance as you do. Become a woman with discernment and self-respect...only then will you attract the worthwhile man.

Happy Loving....Yves

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

Questions & Answers

    © 2012 Yves


    Submit a Comment
    • profile image


      16 months ago

      Not a bad article,

      I would add that if you continually jump into bed with guys you barely know you may turn away the guy who would give you his time.

    • ajwrites57 profile image


      2 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Welcome Yves.

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR


      2 years ago

      Thanks, AJ. :)

    • ajwrites57 profile image


      2 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Great tips Yves! Guys and gals could profit from your Hub!

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR


      2 years ago

      Well said, Demas. Women have to step it up as well. Though I've said that many times, perhaps I need to write another hub about it.

      I loved your last sentence about sparkle and diamonds. So sweet and romantic

      Also, I will plan on moving this article, just because you made the recommendation. :)

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 

      2 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      It's time to resurrect this one to the "Active" column.

      Gals who settle for "good enough" soon find out how much there was to be desired that didn't come with the package.

      Find that "someone" who truly deserves what you have to offer, and if what you have to offer isn't much, work on yourself first. That doesn't mean the "trappings" of clothes, hair, surroundings. It means the intangibles that you know you can improve within yourself. Be a woman of substance and the diamond the right man will hurry to buy for you.

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago

      Tough as it is to swallow, it's true Flourish. If he is really interested, he will not let an opportunity to know you slip away, and if he isn't, he will simply take his chances that you'll still be available if and when he decides to call or text....

      And that's not OK. Thanks for visiting!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image


      4 years ago from USA

      You're brutally honest, and that's what is necessary. Wonderful job, Savvy. People make time for what matters. Period.

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      No doubt, DDE... and especially the staying part. That's what impresses me the most, besides a man who is very loving and who treats women with respect..

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      6 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      How to Recognize the Worthwhile Man for me the worthwhile man is the one who stays with me when I need him at your worst times someone you can count on for always. A man with strength and character, good personality and who knows what he wants with her and from life

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      From someone who knows her topics very well, I appreciate the vote of confidence. Thanks, izettl.

    • izettl profile image

      Laura Izett-Irwin 

      6 years ago from The Great Northwest

      You know this topic well. Voted up

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Thank you so much for reading, Krystal D. I am thrilled to be able to help women. Honestly, I can tell you my methods have worked quite well for me!

    • KrystalD profile image


      7 years ago from Los Angeles

      This was the best thing I have read all week! Definitely the most informative hub on dating I have seen! Thanks! I look forward to more from you.

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Thank you, sweet Dguerra!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Have a happy valentines day Savvy!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)