How Women Can Create an Aura of Beauty to Attract Men


Aura: The distinctive atmosphere or quality that seems to surround and be generated by a person.

Attracting men has everything to do with our “aura” or the quality we emanate. In fact, whenever you come across a man whose attention you want to attract, you may be surprised to discover that you don’t have to do all that much when you're around him. It’s all about how you do whatever you're doing in that moment when an interesting man is nearby. As the French say, it’s all about your “je ne sais quoi,” (that indefinable, intangible quality that makes something distinctive or attractive) The truth is that most men are going to sum you up in a few short minutes, before you even have a chance to say, "Hello." Consequently, it is important that you maintain an awareness of the image you are projecting in each moment.

More often than not, some of our habits are encouraging his indifference rather than his interest. So, before we begin, first know that we all do things subconsciously. Sometimes our mannerisms and ways of being may act against us. You must ask yourself, “What is it that I might be doing unknowingly to keep men at bay?” For example, I've known women who constantly point their forks at the person they're sitting across while dining. I assume they do this subconsciously---at least I hope so. What I do know is that this pointing thing is really distracting, not to mention "tacky". No one wants a fork pointed at their face. It’s annoying. This may seem like a nitpicky thing, but it really does matters how you eat, how you talk, and even how and when you point.

The most important factor to keep in mind when attracting men is to create an aura of intrigue in a way that leaves a positive and subtle impression. In other words, you never want to be too obvious or seem as if you are desperate for attention.

Begin new habits that work for you!
Begin new habits that work for you!

The first step we must take is to change unwanted habits. We do this by reminding ourselves that we are being noticed, even if for a split second. Frankly, it matters that we come across to others in a positive and interesting way. By developing an aura of natural confidence we are also more likely to weed out undesirable men.

Insecure men do not like engaging with women who actually like themselves. This is a good thing..... because then you won't have to bother with boorish men for very long. Your self confidence will threaten him, and he'll fade away into the background where he belongs. Consequently, it is worthwhile to do some tweaking and fine tuning by paying attention to our habits, whether bad or good, so that we can reach a point where the first impressions we give out will always work in our favor. The vibes you give out are crucial. Your ultimate goal is to pique the interest of a quality man.

Tweaking your habits is simply another step in developing a positive aura. There will come a time when you will not have to think about how you are being perceived by others---your improved habits will have become second nature, and you will do things rather beautifully---out of habit. You will develop an understated sensuality which, in turn, generates a "perfect aura" of attractiveness.

The following six qualities will allow any woman to catch a man's attention in a subtle, very powerful way:

Shoulders Back

Perfect posture
Perfect posture

In keeping your back straight and your chin up, you radiate an air of self assurance. We all know that confidence is an exceptionally appealing trait. Even if you don’t feel sure of yourself, keep that spine straight! Long story short, great posture always makes you look more fascinating than you otherwise might. If you’re not used to holding your head high, do it anyway. Having beautiful posture is a non-negotiable, and it’s also one of the traits that men say they notice most about a woman, besides a nice body. But right now, we’re talking about your bearing, not your lean or curvy body.

A quality man has no interest in a woman who slouches. He regards her as lazy, and if there is one thing men hate, it's a lazy woman. It makes sense. Are you attracted to lazy men? Basically, if a man sees a woman whose body language seems to indicate that she doesn't care about herself, he will be turned off within 2 seconds or less. So straighten those shoulders ladies; he is noticing more about you than you may realize. Again, it is imperative that you make those first seconds count in your favor.

Watch That Stride!

I've heard men say, "It almost seemed as if she was floating around the room. I couldn't take my eyes off of her." That is the kind of attention you want to aim for! Wherever you happen to be, when you are walking, if you're not owning that space, then something is wrong. Walking well gives you "presence" and charisma. A quality man is attracted to a woman who walks beautifully. When you are in "best walk" mode, rest assured, you are turning heads. A focused, yet relaxed stride is a valuable and easy tool you must use to get him to notice you right off the bat. Do not walk too slowly, or too fast... just a good even stride.

You might even decide to pause, and turn here or there, just pivoting a bit... something unusual has caught your attention, or maybe you have to check the time or adjust your bracelets. In other words, you are providing your admirers with a quick snapshot - a moment in time for them to savor. In so doing, you are projecting your aura and leaving him with a memory he will not quickly forget. You can also know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the next time he sees you, he will remember you; furthermore, he'll do more than stand around watching you walk by. The next time you pause, he'll be on you like white on rice!

How's Your Body Language?

Lovely body language.
Lovely body language.

Your attitude shows up on your face and in your body language. Do you look as though life interests you? This is important. In order to look as if you find life remarkable and enjoyable, it is always a good idea to practice maintaining a slight smile, the kind that makes your eyes crinkle ever so slightly. Think Mona Lisa, or bigger if you like. The Mona Lisa looks as though she finds life rather amusing; she is infinitely calm, yet mysterious---a striking combination. No man wants to be around a woman who is bored, agitated or unfriendly. Depressed or angry women drive men away in droves.

Another way to practice excellent body language is to have awareness of your hands. Are they relaxed, or are they clenched? Tense hands indicate a closed, stubborn, or unhappy personality. Women who seem inflexible make men crazy, and not in a good way. However, if your palms are open and your wrists exposed, this small thing projects a more welcoming aura. In other words, being calm draws men toward you. Women too, are attracted to men who are relaxed and have who an easy way about them. In fact, everyone is drawn to people whose body language is quietly confident, yet somehow reassuring and warm.

Own Your Space (Like You Mean It)

Owning her space
Owning her space

Whether you are walking, standing, or sitting, it is essential that you become comfortable in making the space you occupy all your own, whether you are alone or with others. To do this, you must not give any impression of discomfort, i.e., downcast eyes or self hugging. Instead, be "in the present" and enjoy your surroundings right now. This is what it means to own your space. It's all about stopping to smell the roses, so to speak. Another way of putting it is: You have to become totally at ease with making yourself the queen of your space. Frankly, in any given moment, the area you occupy really does belong to you, so use it well. You are twenty times more likely to attract the right man if you look like someone who feels relaxed in her own skin.

At first, you might not feel confident about taking up any extra space, but it doesn't really matter---just act like you do. Eventually your discomfort will disappear. Just keep your chin up, and most people will not suspect your initial discomfort.Besides which, feeling a bit of shyness in taking up your given space is quite natural when you first begin learning this important art of attraction. The good news is that, in time, you won't even know why your once felt any nervousness about owning your space. I encourage you to begin appreciating any small, but pleasurable detail about your surroundings---the crispness in the air, the smell of herbs in your food, the beauty of a clear sky, whether you are surrounded by a plethora of people or none at all.

A specific and very useful example of owning your own space is when you choose to dine alone. Many women will not do this, but what better way to make yourself available to an interesting admirer than for you to enjoy a perfectly comfortable, leisurely lunch alone. I saw a man do this once when I was dining with my brother and other family members. Both my brother and I, who were teenagers at the time, were awestruck by this this unique man who dined as if he had all the time in the world. He was a master at owning his space. He wasn’t checking his watch or devouring a novel. He was eating, slowly. He savored his wine and then sat back to better appreciate the quiet hubbub of the servers and guests on the patio; He was incredibly relaxed. Somehow, he was impressive and charming at the same time. I have never forgotten the impact this stranger made upon me. I was just out of high school, but this stranger changed me forever.

Preen, A Little Bit . . .

Preen: to dress or smooth oneself. (Merriam Webster)

Preening goes back to taking up your space – sort of; but it’s a highly female thing to do. Men truly love seeing a woman preen a little, but not in an overly obvious or vulgar way. Please! Good preening requires subtlety. No need to overdo it. You're simply "smoothing your feathers." Indeed, preening gets to the heart of flirting and creating an aura of mystique.

For example, suppose you’re sitting somewhere, say at a cocktail party, and lot of interesting men are milling around. Now is your time to preen. You can decide to smooth your skirt... simply run your hand from thigh to knee (while he’s watching, of course), or you might adjust the strap of your high heel ever so slightly, and then gently splay your fingers softly from ankle to mid-calf. Just checking, you know... to see if everything is in place. You’re preening a little.


Whatever you do, be natural. After all, you really do have to smooth that skirt or adjust the strap of your high heels. Now… can you picture him peering at you out of the corner of his eye, his eyebrow raised in awareness, curiosity… and desire? Of course you can. Now we’re getting somewhere. Whatever preening you do, don’t rush, and don’t look around to see who’s watching. Simply own your space, mind your own business, and smooth away. This is an excellent way to draw men toward you. You are creating anticipation "in the air" and making him long to share some of your space.

Preening is great fun. Use your imagination. There are a million ways to preen "a little." So, whenever the opportunity presents itself, take advantage of this newly acquired attraction skill. A word of warning. Never be overtly sexual. You want a man to realize that you have a mind, not just a body. You never want to attract the wrong kind of men, so be a class act – always. Another tip: Applying makeup (of any kind) is best left for the powder room. Lining your lips in public is not sexy; it’s actually sort of tacky---so don’t think you’ll draw the worthwhile man’s attention that way. You won’t. However, if you preen well, you will definitely pique his interest and desire... in a good way. At the end of the day, he'll be thinking of your poise, intelligence, and yes, your sex appeal---and that, after all, is your goal,

Knowing How to Do . . . .

Preening beforehand...
Preening beforehand...

This is part of preening, except that it is what you do on your own, before you go out into the world, where you’ll likely run into that special man. First, you must have a good hair cut, even if it means having to spend a little extra money. A good hair style will do wonders for your self esteem, besides bringing out the symmetry in your face. When we've done all we can to take care of our outward appearance, we become more confident, and our inner spark casts an almost magical spell, which, in turn, makes us more approachable.

Secondly, always try to wear clothes that are somewhat form fitting, but not too tight and never baggy – you don’t want to look like you’re revealing too much or hiding too much. In other words, give the sweats a break every now and again, and wear something pretty!

Finally, always look polished. Wear that bright nail polish on your toes - maybe a luminous hot pink, a blazing orange, or a bright torquoise. Put on those beautiful bracelets that give off a pleasant sound when you gesture with your hands. I'm serious... men ache for these little touches of femininity.

It's all about developing some "Savoir-faire," which literally means "knowing how to do," Once you do, you will have no difficulty in getting the attention of desirable men. You don't have to bend over backwards or flutter your eyelashes to attract him. Rather, all you have to do is create a tiny bit of mystique to draw him in.

Long story short, just know that meeting worthwhile men is not so complicated after all. Catching the attention of men has everything to do with our way of being, our manner, our enjoyment of life, and of our femininity. This is what it means to create an "aura of beauty." Today, you can begin attracting men the natural, uncomplicated way. You don't have to wait another day. Start exploring your natural talent to charm. Be a class-act. Trust me when I say that he is dying to know the beguiling you. He would love nothing better than to be drawn in by your lovely self, the one who is as natural and fascinating as the space you so graciously inhabit.

And by the way, once he approaches you, look him straight in the eyes, show some teeth... and smile.

Happy knowing,


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Comments 21 comments

Bedbugabscond profile image

Bedbugabscond 3 years ago from United States

Great advice. For me the problem is posture. I have poor posture because I have been sick most of the winter and lost a lot of muscle. I am going to have to figure out which exercises will fix my posture!

savvydating profile image

savvydating 3 years ago Author

Thanks for commenting Bedbugabscond. You might start with stretching exercises. Perhaps once you get more flexibility, you will be able to keep your back and shoulders straight. Also, doing some exercise for the abdominal area is also helpful for the back muscles. Just start slow and work you way up, if needed. Good posture is really important in catching his attention, so don't lose heart.

Megarun 3 years ago

I love the idea of owning your space--any space I'm in will be MY space from here on out!

Fierce stuff Savvy!

savvydating profile image

savvydating 3 years ago Author

Hi Megarun! Thanks for dropping in again. Well, I have just one thing to say, " You' had better." But seriously, there's nothing like owning your space like you own the place. Hey, I made a rhyme. :)

AmandaJon profile image

AmandaJon 3 years ago

Savvydating, nice job! Interesting, practical and informative. Thanks to tell these things.

DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

A smile surely attracts men and most men, How Women Can Create an Aura of Beauty to Attract Men has a great list attractions to men and all works perfectly great hub! Voted up and useful.

savvydating profile image

savvydating 3 years ago Author

Hi DDE. Time and again, I've had men tell me they appreciate women who are feminine. That thread of thought is found throughout many of my hubs. I truly appreciate the votes, by the way.

Annie 2 years ago

I loved this I have been doing allot of research on how to people have that certain quality that attracts men and think this is the most helpful. Many websites make you watch an hour long video to find out in the end that you have to pay money for the real secrets which is not right. This gives you simple steps with an effect. Thanks for some great tips! :)

savvydating profile image

savvydating 2 years ago Author

Hi Annie,

Thanks for dropping by. You've paid me a high compliment... as it is my goal to help all women to better understand their value and strengths. I'm thrilled to know my little article is of help. Yea!

PS That being said, all of these steps have worked for me over the years--and really well at that. ;)

FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 23 months ago from USA

I love your emphasis on confidence and owning your space. Women need to be cognizant of the signals they're sending. It'll pay off in dividends.

savvydating profile image

savvydating 23 months ago Author

Hi FlourishAnyway. Thank you for sharing the hub! I'm happy that you enjoyed that particular section--about owning your space. It really does pay off where men are concerned, but I will say that sometimes some "petty" women will get a little catty about it...but that's there problem and not ours. As always, I appreciate your insight about the positive and confident signals we send out.

brakel2 profile image

brakel2 23 months ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

I enjoyed this hub tremendously, as it reminds me of the importance of confidence in the dating scene and in other circumstances. You have great ideas of the subtle things women can do to get the attention of men. Some women are naturals. but others must work at it. Thanks for sharing your ideas, Pinning hub. Blessings, Audrey

savvydating profile image

savvydating 23 months ago Author

Well, hello brake12. It's true that some women are naturals. The good news is that good habits can be learned with enough commitment. It's worth the extra effort--for sure!. Also, Aubrey, I thank you for pinning. I'm delighted that you enjoyed the hub.

Brian 21 months ago

Preening is cool. It's a subtle touch and gets me interested.

savvydating profile image

savvydating 21 months ago Author

Hi Brian,

So glad you agree. Truth be told, that's a "must-do" if a woman really wants to be more than just another pretty face or even, "ordinary." Thanks for chiming in. I appreciate it!

gk 17 months ago

I've been looking into things to keep my marriage solid, and I figured I should keep him attracted to me. I ended up here. You reminded me of just how important confidence is! He used to tell me all the time when we started dating how much he loved my confidence. Love these tips! :)

savvydating profile image

savvydating 17 months ago Author

Thank you, gk. I think it is good to remain attractive for our husbands and ourselves, for that matter. Men enjoy our femininity. Too many women overlook that, which is why I tried to be specific in sharing some tips. I'm so glad you stopped by to comment. I've no doubt your marriage will survive the test of time, and I appreciate your mentioning that it was your confidence that drew him to you and kept him interested..

Jewels profile image

Jewels 13 months ago from Australia

Hmmmm! Good tips, thanks :)

savvydating profile image

savvydating 13 months ago Author

Well, with five brothers in your life, some of this stuff might seem "unique"....but it's really quite universal---though less so nowadays. However, it's all great fun! Here's to our feminine side. Nice to have you stop by Jewels. (Great name)

temptor94 profile image

temptor94 13 months ago from India

Great tips! I have come across many articles that have give all kinds of advices, but none that talk about the aura and owning our space.. these are critical in attracting the right kind of people. You have described everything very clearly and precisely, loved reading your hub! :)

savvydating profile image

savvydating 13 months ago Author

Why, thank you.....and how delightful it is to have a visitor from India. What a small world it is after all!

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