How Women Can Create an Aura of Beauty to Attract Men
An Aura is the distinctive atmosphere or quality that seems to surround and be generated by a person.
Attracting men has everything to do with our “aura” or the quality we emanate. In fact, whenever you come across a man whose attention you want to attract, you may be surprised to discover that you don’t have to do all that much when you're around him. It’s all about how you do whatever you're doing in that moment when an interesting man is nearby. As the French say, it’s all about your “je ne sais quoi,” (that indefinable, intangible quality that makes something distinctive or attractive) The truth is, most men are going to sum you up in a few short seconds, before you even have a chance to say, "Hello." Consequently, it is important that you maintain an awareness of the image you are projecting in each given moment.
More often than we know, some of our habits are encouraging his indifference rather than his interest. So, before we begin, first know that we all do certain things unconsciously. Sometimes our mannerisms and ways of being act against us. Consequently, you must ask yourself, “What is it that I might be doing unknowingly to keep men at bay?”
For example, I've known women who constantly point their forks at the person they're sitting across from while dining. I assume they do this automatically, out of habit. What I do know is that this pointing the fork thing is really distracting, not to mention "tacky." No one wants a fork pointed right at their face. It’s annoying. This may seem like a nitpicky, tiny thing, but it really does matters how you eat, how you talk, and even if you point.
Anyway, the most important factor to keep in mind when we wish to attract a man is to create an "aura of intrigue" in a such a way that it leaves a positive and subtle impression on the observer. In other words, you never want to be too obvious or seem as if you are desperate for attention. Subtlety is the key.
Time for Change
The first step is to change our undesirable habits. We do this by reminding ourselves that we are being noticed, even if for a split second. Frankly, it matters that we emit a positive and interesting vibe. By developing an aura of natural confidence we are also more likely to weed out undesirable men. How so?
Insecure men do not like engaging with women who actually like themselves. In a way, this is a good thing---you won't have to bother with such men because your self confidence will threaten him. Thus, he will fade away into the background, where he belongs. Therefore, it is worthwhile to do some self-tweaking and fine tuning by noticing our habits, whether bad or good, so that we can pare down our habits to those which only give impressions that always work in our favor. The vibes you give out are crucial if your are to pique the interest of a quality man.
Tweaking your habits is simply another step in developing a positive aura. There will come a time when you will not have to think about how you are being perceived by others---your improved habits will have become second nature, and you will do things quite beautifully, naturally and easily. You will have developed an understated sensuality which, in turn, will generate a "perfect aura" of attractiveness.
The following six qualities will allow any woman to catch a man's attention in a subtle and powerful way:
In keeping your back straight and your chin up, you radiate an air of self assurance. We all know that confidence is an exceptionally appealing trait. Even if you don’t feel sure of yourself, keep that spine straight! Long story short, great posture always makes you look more fascinating. If you are not used to holding your head high, do it anyway! Having beautiful posture is a non-negotiable; it is also, without question, one of the traits that men say they notice most about a woman---besides a nice body. But right now, we’re talking about your bearing and your essence, not your lean or curvy body.
A quality man has no interest in a woman who slouches. He regards her as lazy, and if there is one thing men hate, it's a lazy woman. It makes sense. Are you attracted to lazy men? Basically, if a man sees a woman whose body language seems to indicate that she doesn't care about herself, he will be turned off within 2 seconds or less. So straighten those shoulders ladies; he is noticing more about you than you may realize. Again, it is imperative that you make those first seconds count in your favor.
Watch That Stride!
I've heard men say, "It almost seemed as if she floated across the room, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her." That is the kind of attention you want to aim for. Wherever you happen to be, when you are walking, if you're not owning that space, something is wrong. Walking well gives you "presence" and charisma. A quality man is attracted to a woman who walks beautifully. When you are in "best walk" mode, rest assured, you are turning heads. A focused, yet relaxed stride is a valuable and easy tool you must use to get him to notice you right away. Do not walk too slowly, or too fast... just a good even stride.
You might even decide to pause, and turn here or there, just pivoting a bit... something unusual has caught your attention, or maybe you have to check the time or adjust your bracelets. In other words, you are providing your admirers with a quick snapshot---a moment in time for them to savor. You are providing him with a small mini-movie and leaving him with a memory he will not quickly forget. You will feel fairly confident that the next time he sees you, he will remember you, and he'll do more than just watch you walk by. By this time, he is eager to introduce himself.
How's Your Body Language?
Your attitude shows up on your face and in your body language. Do you seem like someone ho finds life interesting? This is important. In order to look as if you find life remarkable and enjoyable, it is always a good idea to practice maintaining a slight smile, the kind that makes your eyes crinkle ever so slightly. Think Mona Lisa, or bigger if you like. Mona Lisa looks as though she finds life rather amusing; she is infinitely calm, yet mysterious---and that is a striking combination. No man wants to be around a woman who is bored, agitated or unfriendly. Depressed or angry women drive men away in droves.
Another way to practice excellent body language is to have awareness of your hands. Are they relaxed, or are they clenched? Tense hands indicate a closed, stubborn, or unhappy personality. Women who seem inflexible make men crazy, and not in a good way. However, if your palms are open and your wrists exposed, this small thing projects a more welcoming aura. In other words, an aura of calmness draws men toward you. Women too, are attracted to men who are relaxed and have who an easy way about them. In fact, everyone is drawn to people whose body language is quietly confident, reassuring and warm.
Own Your Space Like You Mean It
Whether you are walking, standing, or sitting, it is essential that you become comfortable in making the space you occupy all your own, whether you are alone or with others. To do this, you must not give any impression of discomfort, i.e., downcast eyes or self hugging. Instead, be "in the present" and enjoy your surroundings right now. This is what it means to own your space. It's all about stopping to smell the roses, so to speak. Another way of putting it is: You have to become totally at ease in choosing to make yourself the queen of your space. Frankly, in any given moment, the area you occupy really does belong to you, so use it generously. You are much more likely to attract the right man if you appear to be someone who feels relaxed in her own skin.
Initially, you might not feel confident with the idea of taking up any extra space, but it doesn't really matter---just act like you do anyway. Eventually your discomfort will disappear. Just keep your chin up, and most people will not suspect your anxiety. In any event, it is natural to feel a bit of shyness in taking up your given space when you first begin practicing this important art of attraction. The good news is, in time you won't even remember why your once felt any nervousness about owning your space. So begin now. I encourage you to first learn to appreciating any small, but pleasurable detail about your surroundings---the crispness in the air, the smell of herbs in your food, the beauty of a clear sky, whether you are surrounded by a plethora of people or none at all.
A specific and very useful example of owning your own space is when you choose to dine alone. Many women will not do this, but what better way to make yourself available to an interesting admirer than for you to enjoy a perfectly comfortable, leisurely lunch alone. I saw a man do this once when I was dining with my brother and other family members. Both my brother and I, who were teenagers at the time, were awestruck by this this unique man who dined as if he had all the time in the world. He was a master at owning his space. He wasn’t checking his watch or devouring a novel. He was eating, slowly. He savored his wine and then sat back to better appreciate the quiet hubbub of the servers and guests on the patio; He was incredibly relaxed. Somehow, he was impressive and charming at the same time. I have never forgotten the impact this stranger made upon me. I was just out of high school, but this stranger changed me forever.
Preen, A Little Bit . . .
Preen: to dress or smooth oneself. (Merriam Webster)
Preening goes back to taking up your space – sort of, but it’s a highly female thing to do. Men truly love seeing a woman preen a little, not in an overly obvious or vulgar way. Ever. Good preening requires subtlety. No need to overdo it. You're simply "smoothing your feathers." Indeed, preening gets to the heart of flirting and in creating an aura of mystique.
For example, suppose you’re sitting somewhere, say at a cocktail party, and plenty of interesting men are milling about. Now is your time to preen. You can decide to smooth your skirt... simply run your hand from thigh to knee (while he’s watching, of course), or you might adjust the strap of your high heel ever so slightly, and then gently splay your fingers softly from ankle to mid-calf. Just checking, you know... to see if everything is in place. You’re preening a little.
Whatever you do, be natural. After all, you really do have to smooth that skirt or adjust the strap of your high heels. Now… can you picture him peering at you out of the corner of his eye, his eyebrow raised in awareness, curiosity… and desire? Of course you can. Now we’re getting somewhere. Whatever preening you do, don’t rush, and don’t look around to see who’s watching. Simply own your space, mind your own business, and smooth away. This is an excellent way to draw men toward you. You are creating anticipation "in the air" and causing him to be pulled toward you.
Preening is great fun. Use your imagination. There are a million ways to preen "a little." So, whenever the opportunity presents itself, take advantage of this newly acquired attraction skill. A word of warning. Never be overtly sexual. You want a man to realize that you have a mind, not just a body. You never want to attract the wrong kind of men, so be a class-act. Always.
Another tip: Applying makeup (of any kind) is best left for the powder room. Lining your lips in public is not sexy; it’s actually sort of tacky---so don’t think you’ll draw the worthwhile man’s attention that way. You won’t. However, if you preen well, you will definitely pique his interest and desire... in a good way. At the end of the day, he'll be thinking of your poise, intelligence, and yes, your sex appeal---and that, after all, is your goal.
Knowing How to Do . . . .
This is part of preening, except that it is what you do on your own, before you go out into the world where you’ll likely run into that special man. First of all, you must have a good hair cut, even if it means having to spend a little extra money on a stylist who knows what he is doing. A good hair style will do wonders for your self esteem, besides bringing out the symmetry of your face. Once we've done everything we can to take care of our outward appearance, we become more confident and our "inner spark" casts an almost magical spell, which then makes us more approachable.
Secondly, always try to wear clothes that are somewhat form fitting, but not too tight and never baggy – you don’t want to look like you’re revealing too much or hiding too much. In other words, give the sweats and the shapeless dress a break every now and again, and wear something pretty. Also, don't worry if you are carrying some extra weight. You can still show your curves!
Finally, always look polished. Wear that bright nail polish on your toes - maybe a luminous hot pink, a blazing orange, or a bright torquoise. Put on those beautiful bracelets that give off a pleasant sound when you gesture with your hands. I'm serious... men ache for these little touches of femininity.
It's all about developing some "Savoir-faire" which literally means, "knowing how to do." And once you do, you will have no difficulty in getting the attention of desirable men. You don't have to bend over backwards or flutter your eyelashes to attract him. Rather, you simply have to create a tiny bit of mystique to draw him in.
Long story short, please realize that meeting worthwhile men is not so complicated after all. Catching the attention of men has everything to do with our way of being, our mannerisms, our enjoyment of life, and our femininity. This is what it means to create an "aura of beauty." Today, you can begin attracting men the natural, uncomplicated way. You don't have to wait another day. Start exploring your natural charm. Be a class-act. Trust me when I say that he is dying to know the "beguiling you." He would love nothing better than to be drawn in by your lovely self, the one who is as natural and fascinating as the space you so graciously inhabit.
And by the way, once he approaches you, look him straight in the eyes, show some teeth...and smile.
Questions & Answers
© 2013 Yves