Yves mission is to help women attract positive relationships by establishing personal parameters and greater self-worth.
Aura: The distinctive atmosphere or quality that seems to surround and be generated by a person.
Attracting men has everything to do with our "aura" which is the quality we emanate. In fact, whenever you come across a man whose attention you want to attract, you may be surprised to discover that you don’t have to do all that much when you're around him. It’s all about how you do whatever you're doing in that moment when an interesting man is nearby. As the French say, it is all about your ‘je ne sais quoi, which is that indefinable, intangible quality that makes something distinctive or attractive. The truth is, most men are going to sum you up in a few short seconds, before you even have a chance to say, ‘Hello, how are you.’ Consequently, it is important that you maintain an awareness of the image you are projecting in any given moment.
The First Rule of Thumb
More often than we know, some of our habits encourage his indifference rather than his interest. So, before we begin, first know that we all do certain things unconsciously. Sometimes our mannerisms or habitual "ways of being" act against us. So, we must ask ourselves, “What might I be doing unknowingly to keep men at bay?”
For example, when dining, some people have a habit of pointing their forks at the person they're sitting across from whenever they're trying to make a point. They do this out of habit. However, this unfortunate 'pointing thing" is really distracting, not to mention 'annoying-as-all-get-out.' No one wants a fork pointed at their face. Fork pointing, finger pointing, any kind of pointing at anybody's face is obnoxious. It grates on people's nerves. Bringing up this habit may seem like a nit picky, tiny thing, but it really does matters how you eat, how you talk, and even when, where, and when you point.
We will soon go into further detail, but first know that the most important factor to keep in mind when we wish to attract a man's attention is to create an "aura of intrigue" in a way that leaves a positive and subtle impression on him. Subtlety is the key. Always. You never want to seem desperate for attention in any way shape or form.
Time for Change
The first step is to change our undesirable habits. We do this by reminding ourselves that we are being noticed by others, even if only for a split second. Thus, it matters that we strive to emanate positive and interesting vibes. By developing an aura of natural confidence we are also more likely to weed out undesirable men.
Insecure men who do not respect women will not engage with a woman who likes herself and has firm parameters. This is a good thing. You will not have to bother with such men because your confidence will threaten him. Thus, he will fade away into the background where he belongs. Therefore, it is worthwhile to do some self-tweaking and fine tuning by noticing our habits, whether bad or good, so that we only create impressions that work in our favor. The vibes we give out are crucial if we are to pique the interest of a quality man.
Tweaking our habits is simply another step in developing a positive aura. Furthermore, there will come a time when you will not have to think about how you are being perceived by others. In time, your improved habits will have become second nature and you will easily carry yourself with poise. You will have developed a natural and understated sensuality which, in turn, will generate a glow of attractiveness around you.
The following qualities will allow any woman to catch a man's attention in a powerful way.
Have Great Posture
When your back is straight and your chin is up, you automatically radiate an air of self-assurance. We all know that confidence is an exceptionally appealing trait. So, even when you don’t feel particularly pretty or sure of yourself, keep that spine straight! Long story short, great posture makes everyone look better and more self-assured. If you are not used to holding your head high, do it anyway! Poise and posture are two traits men say they notice most about a woman who is desirable.
Whenever a man sees a woman whose body language seems to indicate that she doesn't care about herself, he is quickly turned off, usually within seconds. Quality man have little interest in a woman who slouches or somehow seems lazy. If there is one thing men hate, it's a lazy woman.
So, keep those shoulders back and hold your head high. He is noticing more about you than you may realize. Let those first few seconds count in your favor.
I've heard men say, 'It seemed as if she floated across the room, and I couldn't take my eyes off her.' That is the kind of attention you must aim for. Wherever you happen to be, when you are walking, if you're not owning that space, something is wrong. Walking with presence gives you a certain charisma. A quality man is attracted to a woman who knows how to walk. Your aim is to practice a relaxed stride. You do not want to walk too slowly, or too fast... just a good even stride. He will notice something different about you, and he'll like what he sees.
Another tip is to learn the art of pausing or pivoting a bit... as if something unusual has caught your attention, or perhaps you must check the time, or adjust your bracelets. In other words, you are providing your admirers with a quick snapshot.... a moment in time for them to savor. You are giving him with a small mini-movie and leaving him with a memory he will not quickly forget. And rest assured, the next time he sees you, he will remember you. Having piqued his interest, he will want to know more about you. He will be eager to introduce himself.
Let Mona Lisa Be Your Muse
Your attitude shows up on your face and in your body language. Do you seem like someone who finds life interesting? Do you smile? Are your eyes inquisitive? People who find life remarkable and enjoyable, tend to smile as if they’re in on a wonderful secret. Their eyes are quick to crinkle in laughter or mischief. The Mona Lisa always looks as though she finds life rather amusing. Furthermore, she is infinitely calm, yet mysterious at the same time. She is famous because of her juxtaposition of humor and mystery. For this reason, she is loved the world over. Let her be your muse. After all, no man wants to be around a woman who is bored, agitated or unfriendly. Depressed or angry women drive men away in droves.
Another way to practice excellent body language is to have awareness of your hands. Are they relaxed, or are they clenched? Tense hands indicate a closed, stubborn, or unhappy personality. Women who seem inflexible make men crazy, and not in a good way. However, when your palms are open and your wrists exposed, you project a more welcoming impression. This tranquil quality will draw men toward you. Women are also attracted to men who are relaxed and have who an easy way about them. In fact, everyone is drawn to people whose body language is quietly confident, reassuring and warm.
Whether you are walking, standing, or sitting, it is essential that you become comfortable in making the space you occupy all your own, whether you are alone or with others. To do this, you must not give any impression of discomfort, i.e., downcast eyes or self-hugging. Instead, be 'in the moment' and enjoy your surroundings right now. That is what it means to own your space.
It is all about stopping to smell the roses, so to speak. In other words, practice being at ease in choosing to make yourself the queen of your space. Frankly, in any given moment, the area you occupy really does belong to you, so use it generously. You are much more likely to attract the right man if you are someone who feels comfortable in any given the space you inhabit.
Initially, you might not feel confident with the thought of taking up any extra space, but it doesn't matter.... just act like you do anyway! Eventually your discomfort will disappear. Just keep your chin up, and most people will not suspect your anxiety. In any event, it is natural to feel a bit of shyness in owning your space when you first begin practicing this important art of attraction. However, your nervousness will soon fade.
So, begin now. I encourage you to first learn to appreciate any small, but pleasurable detail about your surroundings, such as the crispness in the air, the smell of fresh herbs in your food, the beauty of a clear, blue sky. Furthermore, you must practice this art of joy whether you are surrounded by a plethora of people or none..
A specific and very useful example of owning your own space is choosing to dine alone and feel perfectly relaxed doing so. Many individuals will never eat alone, if they can help it, but what better way to make yourself available to an interesting admirer than for you to enjoy a perfectly comfortable, leisurely lunch alone. I saw a man do this once when I was dining with my brother and other family members.
Both my brother and I, who were teenagers at the time, were awestruck by this this unique man who dined as if he had all the time in the world. He was a master at owning his space. He never checked his watch, nor was he devouring a novel between bites of food. Rather, he ate slowly. He savored his wine and sat back to better appreciate the quiet hubbub of the servers and guests on the patio. He was incredibly relaxed. His ease made him impressive, charming, and fascinating. I have never forgotten the impact this stranger made upon me. I was just out of high school, yet this stranger changed me forever.
Preen: to dress or smooth oneself. (Merriam Webster)
Preening goes back to taking up your space, sort of, but it’s a highly female thing to do. Men truly love seeing a woman preen a little, but not in an obvious or vulgar way. Good preening requires subtlety. No need to overdo it. You're simply 'smoothing your feathers.' Preening is at the heart of flirting and in creating an aura of mystique.
For example, suppose you’re at a cocktail party and plenty of interesting men are milling about. Now is your time to preen. You decide to smooth your skirt by running your hand from thigh to knee (while he’s watching, of course), or you might adjust the strap of your high heel ever so slightly, and then gently splay your fingers softly from ankle to mid-calf. Just checking, you know... making sure everything is in place as any natural woman would want to do. You’re preening a little.
After all, you really do have to smooth that skirt or adjust the strap of your high heel. Now… can you picture him peering at you out of the corner of his eye, his eyebrow raised in awareness, curiosity… and desire? Of course, you can. Now we’re getting somewhere. Whatever preening you do, do not rush, and do not look around to see who’s watching. Simply own your space, mind your own business, and smooth away. This is an excellent way to draw men toward you. You are creating anticipation 'in the air' and magnetically pulling him toward you.
Preening is great fun. Use your imagination. There are a million ways to preen 'a bit.' So, whenever the opportunity presents itself, take advantage of this newly acquired attraction skill. A word of warning. Never be overtly sexual. You want a man to realize that you have a mind, not just a body. Furthermore, you. never want to attract the wrong kind of men. Be a class-act. Always.
Another tip has to do with cosmetics. Applying make-up, of any kind, is best left for the powder room. Lining your lips in public is not sexy; it’s somewhat tacky. However, there is one exception: On occasion, after dinner and just before the nightcap, it is fine to apply a bit of lipstick in front of him, especially if the color is red or bright pink, and if you have (admittedly) kissable lips. This technique should be used sparingly, however.
Just know, if you preen well, you will pique his interest and desire in a lasting and positive way. At the end of the day, he will have many, many thoughts of your poise, as well as your sex appeal...which, of course, is the goal you're after.
This is part of preening, except that it is what you do on your own, before you go out into the world where you’ll likely run into that special man. First, you must have a good haircut, even if it means having to spend more money on a stylist who knows what they are doing. A good hair style will do wonders for your self-esteem by bringing out the symmetry of your lovely face. Once we've done all we can to take care of our outward appearance, we become more confident having achieved an inner spark which, in turn, makes us more approachable.
Secondly, always try to wear clothes that are somewhat form fitting, but not too tight and never baggy; you never want to look as if you are revealing too much or hiding too much. In other words, give the gym clothes and the shapeless dress a break. Wear something pretty and flattering more often. As an aside, try not to worry if you are worried about carrying some extra weight. You can still use your curves to your advantage.
Finally, always look polished. Wear that gorgeous nail polish on your fingers and toes - maybe a luminous hot pink, a pretty yellow, or a bright turquoise. Wear beautiful bracelets that give off a pleasant sound when you gesture with your hands. You'd be surprised at how men ache for all those touches of femininity, even if he does not quite know what they are or how they are achieved.
It's all about developing "Savoir-faire" which literally means, knowing how to do. And once you do, you will have no difficulty in getting the attention of desirable men. You never have to bend over backwards or flutter your eyelashes to attract him. Rather, you simply create a tiny bit of mystique to draw him in.
Meeting worthwhile men is not so complicated after all. Catching the attention of men has everything to do with our way of being, our mannerisms, our enjoyment of life, and our femininity. That is what it means to create an "aura of beauty." Today, you can begin attracting men in a natural, easy way. No need to wait t another day. Begin exploring your natural charm today. Be a quality woman.. Trust me when I say that he is dying to know how beguiling you are. He would love nothing better than to be drawn in by your loveliness which is as natural and fascinating as the space you so graciously inhabit.
And by the way, once he approaches you, look him straight in the eyes... and smile.
Questions & Answers
Question: How do l keep a man's interest?
Answer: Different men like different things. In general, most men are intrigued by femininity. Men also appreciate women who have a certain amount of spirit or "fire" but who also have decent manners, which entails being sexy in a way that is intelligent and which does not undermine your womanhood. Men also want to be acknowledged and appreciated for the nice things they do.
© 2013 Yves
Yves (author) on August 20, 2020:
Thank you for reading and for your kind words, YINNY. I hope you will enjoy utilizing some of the tips!
YINNY on August 19, 2020:
Hi, I am really enjoying all your articles. thanks so much for your input in life and how things should rally be.
Yves (author) on August 20, 2019:
Well...they've worked for me. Lol.
No doubt, your aura is already wonderful, Betty A F.
Thank you for reading. I'm so glad you found my comment on one of your articles. My comments get lost all the time. No worries.
Betty A F from Florida on August 20, 2019:
Very good article Yves,
I need to make use of many of these tips. I honestly never really think about how I carry myself or how I appear to others. I found myself sitting up straight as I read this. Very good information. I'll be making an effort to apply these tips to my life. :)
Suzie from Carson City on February 24, 2019:
Yes! There you go...."Podcasts!" I hadn't even thought of that. Way too high-Tech and TODAY for my old brain!! LOL
Yves (author) on February 24, 2019:
Thank you, Paula. Right now I'm in a "comfortable" spot, but if the Powers Above tell me to get off of my recliner, then I guess I'd better pay attention. Podcasts may be another way to go. Hmmmm. Food for thought.
Thank you for stopping by, Paula. I so appreciate you.
Suzie from Carson City on February 23, 2019:
Another fascinating article by you that I totally missed somehow. I know I've told you this before, but let me say it again...
You belong on stage, girlfriend.....get your smart self on the public-speaking circuit! Reach all the thousands who would benefit so greatly from your wisdom & self-education you have to offer.
You are perfect for that career. I just know it! Peace, Paula
Yves (author) on August 19, 2017:
Lol. Well, nomad spirit, if a good guy sees that everyone has to climb over you to find a seat or a place to stand, who knows what he may be thinking. That being said, most people have their heads buried in a computer whilst in-transit. You just happen to be the one who sits on the floor. ;)
Rosheda Stephenson on August 19, 2017:
Pointing the fork! Ha! Not that I should be laughing.
I have been known to "own my space" by plopping on the floor in the midst of hundreds of commuters, laptop in lap, typing away obliviously. Savvy, what say you to this? Sure way to never get a good guy, or excusable city dweller behavior ?
Yves (author) on June 20, 2017:
Dorothy...Perhaps you had read another of my hub articles. This one does not give tips for men. In any event, congratulations on having a nice boyfriend.
DOROTHY on June 20, 2017:
My boyfriend does 28 out of the 50 tips
Yves (author) on February 06, 2017:
You are welcome, Sam. I will only add that I have had no objection to moving out of the way, from time to time, but it is always nice if the man moves. In addition, my office building has 22 floors. It is customary for the men to allow the women to enter and exit from the elevator before they do. It is just one of those very nice pleasantries which I appreciate very much. Often, I will murmur a quick, "Thank You" to the man or men.
Sam1976 on February 06, 2017:
Thank you for your answer, much appreciate. In my office there are narrow walkways / paths and the accepted practice is to walk on ones right hand side. The particular woman is not known to be rude at all, however, I once walking on what I perceive was the right side to walk on and had to get out of her path a split sec before we could collide. Since then I decided to always move out of their path. I once had to speak with her for some work related reason and found her very pleasant and cooperative. I work in Riyadh (KSA) and there are a lot of brave Arab / Western women working here and teaching us men some office manners :-). Thanks again for your feedback.
Yves (author) on February 05, 2017:
I am not entirely clear on what you mean by 'wrong pathway.' We all set out to walk where ever we need to go and I've not heard of any pathway we are supposed to take.
If you mean that she is walking toward you on the side of the hallway where you happen to be walking, then it is polite for the man to move. The key is to see it as your choosing to have manners.
Are you saying that this particular woman is known to be rude, in general??
Anyway, if a man never moved for me, I would write him off as someone who is lacking in manners or who never learned the value of being a gentleman.
Keep one thing in mind, adopting the mindset of a gentleman makes a man a cut above the rest. That's a good thing!
Yves (author) on February 05, 2017:
Hi Sam...So glad you liked the article. Flipping the hair, in conjunction with smiling and eye contact may indicate mild flirting. But hair flipping alone does not indicate interest. Some women are overly obsessed with appearance, and as such, may have developed the hair flipping thing as a nervous habit. Long story short, it depends upon the rest of her body language.
Sam on February 05, 2017:
I always wonder why some women walk down the pathway the wrong side (in the office or elsewhere, I notice that behaviour mostly from women), should a gentleman get out of her path Or make her move over to the other side? What do women think of men who let them have their way and those that don't move over to accommodate them?
Sam on February 05, 2017:
Hello, thank you for the article, its very interesting. What does it indicate if a woman flips through her hair while talking to you?
Yves (author) on January 18, 2017:
Argh....How is it fake to be a natural woman? Are you saying you are a tomboy? All well and good. But you are still a woman. Don't forget that.
Argh on January 18, 2017:
Just kill me now. So...I have to be fake and over the top to get men to notice I exist. I really want to laughcryrage at this world.
Yves (author) on January 08, 2017:
Hello Felix....I hadn't thought of it quite that way, but you make an interesting point. I am glad you enjoyed the article. Thank you for sharing your observation.
Felix on January 08, 2017:
Knowing the top secret of the opposite sex will give a chance of knowing the good from the pretenders. lovely articles
Yves (author) on January 05, 2017:
Jade....So very glad you found this article at this crucial time in your life. How kind of you to call it "brilliant." I am flattered. But I hear you. I was used to plenty of attention as well. In my case, I started getting "older," so I had to remind myself of all the things I had been doing differently than a fair amount of other ladies. The good news? Those things still work. Ha!
Jade on January 05, 2017:
This is a brilliant article, thank you. My whole life I had plenty of male attention I took for granted until a couple of years ago - I was broken hearted after a break up. Ever since then, all the male attention I previously thought I would always have completely evaporated. I realise from this article that I lost the natural happy and feminine things I used to do as I lost touch with myself a little. I used to walk slower, take my time with things, wear jewellery that would give that tinkle etc. Since my break up, I filled the void with work and projects and as a result am rushing around everywhere, thinking business. Although I take care of my appearance, I miss the little touches as always thinking about how to best utilise my time, to fill it up so I don't spend time dwelling on the past, rather than taking and owning my time. Thank you so much for making me realise what it is so clearly. This article is a blessing.
Yves (author) on September 25, 2015:
Why, thank you.....and how delightful it is to have a visitor from India. What a small world it is after all!
temptor94 on September 25, 2015:
Great tips! I have come across many articles that have give all kinds of advices, but none that talk about the aura and owning our space.. these are critical in attracting the right kind of people. You have described everything very clearly and precisely, loved reading your hub! :)
Yves (author) on September 21, 2015:
Well, with five brothers in your life, some of this stuff might seem "unique"....but it's really quite universal---though less so nowadays. However, it's all great fun! Here's to our feminine side. Nice to have you stop by Jewels. (Great name)
Jewels from Australia on September 21, 2015:
Hmmmm! Good tips, thanks :)
Yves (author) on May 21, 2015:
Thank you, gk. I think it is good to remain attractive for our husbands and ourselves, for that matter. Men enjoy our femininity. Too many women overlook that, which is why I tried to be specific in sharing some tips. I'm so glad you stopped by to comment. I've no doubt your marriage will survive the test of time, and I appreciate your mentioning that it was your confidence that drew him to you and kept him interested..
gk on May 21, 2015:
I've been looking into things to keep my marriage solid, and I figured I should keep him attracted to me. I ended up here. You reminded me of just how important confidence is! He used to tell me all the time when we started dating how much he loved my confidence. Love these tips! :)
Yves (author) on January 28, 2015:
So glad you agree. Truth be told, that's a "must-do" if a woman really wants to be more than just another pretty face or even, "ordinary." Thanks for chiming in. I appreciate it!
Brian on January 28, 2015:
Preening is cool. It's a subtle touch and gets me interested.
Yves (author) on December 04, 2014:
Well, hello brake12. It's true that some women are naturals. The good news is that good habits can be learned with enough commitment. It's worth the extra effort--for sure!. Also, Aubrey, I thank you for pinning. I'm delighted that you enjoyed the hub.
Audrey Selig from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma on December 03, 2014:
I enjoyed this hub tremendously, as it reminds me of the importance of confidence in the dating scene and in other circumstances. You have great ideas of the subtle things women can do to get the attention of men. Some women are naturals. but others must work at it. Thanks for sharing your ideas, Pinning hub. Blessings, Audrey
Yves (author) on December 02, 2014:
Hi FlourishAnyway. Thank you for sharing the hub! I'm happy that you enjoyed that particular section--about owning your space. It really does pay off where men are concerned, but I will say that sometimes some "petty" women will get a little catty about it...but that's there problem and not ours. As always, I appreciate your insight about the positive and confident signals we send out.
FlourishAnyway from USA on December 02, 2014:
I love your emphasis on confidence and owning your space. Women need to be cognizant of the signals they're sending. It'll pay off in dividends.
Yves (author) on June 27, 2014:
Thanks for dropping by. You've paid me a high compliment... as it is my goal to help all women to better understand their value and strengths. I'm thrilled to know my little article is of help. Yea!
PS That being said, all of these steps have worked for me over the years--and really well at that. ;)
Annie on June 25, 2014:
I loved this I have been doing allot of research on how to people have that certain quality that attracts men and think this is the most helpful. Many websites make you watch an hour long video to find out in the end that you have to pay money for the real secrets which is not right. This gives you simple steps with an effect. Thanks for some great tips! :)
Yves (author) on October 04, 2013:
Hi DDE. Time and again, I've had men tell me they appreciate women who are feminine. That thread of thought is found throughout many of my hubs. I truly appreciate the votes, by the way.
Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on October 04, 2013:
A smile surely attracts men and most men, How Women Can Create an Aura of Beauty to Attract Men has a great list attractions to men and all works perfectly great hub! Voted up and useful.
Amanda Jones on June 20, 2013:
Savvydating, nice job! Interesting, practical and informative. Thanks to tell these things.
Yves (author) on May 21, 2013:
Hi Megarun! Thanks for dropping in again. Well, I have just one thing to say, " You' had better." But seriously, there's nothing like owning your space like you own the place. Hey, I made a rhyme. :)
Megarun on May 21, 2013:
I love the idea of owning your space--any space I'm in will be MY space from here on out!
Fierce stuff Savvy!
Yves (author) on May 09, 2013:
Thanks for commenting Bedbugabscond. You might start with stretching exercises. Perhaps once you get more flexibility, you will be able to keep your back and shoulders straight. Also, doing some exercise for the abdominal area is also helpful for the back muscles. Just start slow and work you way up, if needed. Good posture is really important in catching his attention, so don't lose heart.
Melody Collins from United States on May 09, 2013:
Great advice. For me the problem is posture. I have poor posture because I have been sick most of the winter and lost a lot of muscle. I am going to have to figure out which exercises will fix my posture!