How to Avoid Feeling Insecure Around Your Crush

Updated on February 19, 2018
Dreams Do Come True!
Dreams Do Come True!

Tips to Help You Get Crush Anxiety Under Control

When you have a crush on someone, it's normal to feel nervous around that person. Even if you are usually very bold and socially confident, you might find yourself feeling insecure when you believe you have met that special someone.

Very often, young men and women make the mistake of avoiding their crush for fear of appearing foolish. This is very unwise, not to mention illogical. After all, if you avoid the person you are most attracted to—you risk losing the chance of a lifetime. In this article, I will provide some smart tips to help you overcome your insecurity around your crush. Read on to learn more.

Accept the Fact That You Are Nervous!

Instead of fighting your nervousness, take a little time to yourself to think it through and embrace it. Being nervous is normal, so you needn't feel ashamed or incapacitated by it. Instead, learn some good techniques that will help you get your stress under control, focus your thoughts and move forward.

Use Stress Reduction Techniques

The panic you feel around your crush may very well be "fight-or-flight syndrome". This is a normal response when we feel unsure, threatened or afraid. When your body is in fight-or-flight mode, your adrenal glands work over time creating the stress hormone, cortisol.

To counter this problem, try doing some meditation and deep breathing exercises. Set aside a few minutes at the beginning and end of every day to think through the events of your day, breathe deeply and calm your nerves. Doing so will help lower your heart rate and will also increase your overall good health making you a much more attractive person.

Avoid These Three Negative Thinking Patterns

  1. Don't set yourself up with speculations and assumptions. For example, you should not assume that the object of your affections sees all of the flaws that you believe you possess. Put your best foot forward and hope for the best.
  2. Don't catastrophize! Always expect the best. Remember that thinking makes it so. If you expect every encounter with your crush to turnout badly, it will! Conversely, expecting a positive outcome is an excellent way to create a positive outcome.
  3. Don't take it personally. It is strange that we sometimes tend to be hypercritical of the things we desire most. Don't assume that any negative action or word issuing from your crush is aimed at you. It most likely is not.

Man Up!

Get Your Mind Off Yourself!

Having spent time examining your thoughts and calming your nerves, leave your self-focus behind when you step out the door. If you are obsessed with your own behavior, you may tend to neglect your crush! Don't worry about yourself. Instead, pay attention to the girl of your dreams. Make friendly observations and show a healthy interest in her activities, preferences and interests.

Stay in the Loop

If you are naturally shy, you may tend to avoid social contact. This is a mistake because when you find the girl of your dreams, you may have such rusty social skills that you are unable to engage her and get to know her. Be sure to stay well-rounded by engaging in social activities several times a week. This will help you be more relaxed and comfortable around people and will give you something to talk about when you meet that special someone.

Practice Good Grooming Skills

If you're a nervous wreck around your crush, you may be sweating profusely, biting your nails, twisting your hair and generally putting on quite a show. Step back and think of your dignity. Groom your hair and nails properly, shower and change your clothes daily and use appropriate personal care products to keep yourself fresh and attractive. Taking regular steps to make yourself presentable will give you an automatic boost in confidence.

Dress Comfortably

Take a little time to think about your own personal style. Identify and adhere to a look that expresses who you are and is comfortable to wear. Creating a look that is really “you” helps you to present yourself well. When you are comfortable and confident in your dress, you can be comfortable and confident in your actions.

Be Your Best Self

Transparency is important in any relationship. Don't put on airs or try to impress with qualities that are not your own. Simply put your best foot forward and be your best self. If it turns out that your crush is not interested in what you genuinely have to offer, you're better off finding out right away rather than investing heart and soul and ending up disappointed.

Be Well-Rounded

Be a Technological Marvel

If the idea of talking to your beloved makes you anxious, take advantage of social media, chat and texting. Exchange friendly comments and appropriate images, and get to know each other remotely before having deep conversations. It's a good way to determine whether or not you should pursue a relationship. It's also a good way to exchange information so that you have plenty to talk about the first time you get together.

Be Well Informed

Keep up with the news in your social circles, your community, the nation and the world. When you know what's going on around you, you can form well-informed opinions. This gives you something interesting to talk about. If you are well informed, you will not find yourself at a loss for words.

Develop Your Own Hobbies And Interests

Very often when we are seeking someone to love, we allow that pursuit to become our only interest. Unfortunately, this is not very interesting to talk about. Additionally, being obsessed with finding the love of your life can be a bit creepy and pathetic! Stay interested and involved in a number of activities, hobbies and pursuits. This is another way to develop interesting topics of conversation and to keep yourself enthusiastic and upbeat.

Be Realistic

Don't Expect Too Much Too Soon

You may have fallen in love with your crush the moment you saw her; however, she may not feel the same way about you. Be sensitive to this and don't expect too much too soon. Take normal, casual steps to make friends with the girl and get to know her and become friends.

You may find out that you are not actually as crazy about each other as you thought. This can be a good thing because if you are not suited to one another romantically it's best to avoid emotional entanglements. Bye doing so, you leave the door open for lasting friendship.

Even if it turns out that you are well suited romantically, getting to know each other before you dive into a romantic relationship is the smart thing to do. Being good friends will help you navigate the emotional highs and lows of romance successfully. Getting to know each other before you become emotionally involved can only deepen and enhance your growing relationship.

Overcoming Your Insecurity Makes You A Stronger And More Attractive Man

Getting your nerves under control around your crush can be helpful to you in all aspects of your life. The steps you take to build your confidence level in this situation will serve you well in all situations. Remember to take some time to know yourself. Make an effort to be and present your best self. Show respect for yourself and the object of your desire by being patient and nurturing the relationship that naturally grows.

Questions & Answers

    © 2016 Sally Branche


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      • bhattuc profile image

        Umesh Chandra Bhatt 

        5 months ago from Kharghar, Navi Mumbai, India

        Nice article. Thanks.

      • SallyTX profile imageAUTHOR

        Sally Branche 

        4 years ago from Only In Texas!

        Many thanks for your kind words! ;D

        That's too bad about your daughter's acquaintance, Flourish! Someone needs to take that young man in hand and give him a good taking-to! Send him a link to this article! :)

      • Larry Rankin profile image

        Larry Rankin 

        4 years ago from Oklahoma

        Interesting process analysis.

      • FlourishAnyway profile image


        4 years ago from USA

        This is good advice. My teenage daughter has a fellow who is a good friend and madly in love with her. When they go out in a group or at school, it's awkward for her because the young man is so smitten he constantly states at her. In class or in movies with friends, anyone can look over in his direction and they catch his staring, wide-eyed. It's become a joke sadly. He is a very sweet kid but needs to chill a bit. Coming on too strong. Wish he had this, the poor guy.


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