Ever noticed how some guys seem to get all the girls?
What are they doing differently to you? What do they have that you don't have?
It might be easier than you think to be THAT attractive guy. I've asked women from many different backgrounds what they find attractive in men, and what turns them off. I've also added my own ideas of what I personally like and don't like in men.
The result is a list of some easy tips for things you can do right now to instantly become more attractive to women and greatly increase your chances.
At a Glance - Attraction Tips
- Focus on your good points
- Show your clean side
- Smell good
- Use the power of eye contact
- Good manners - who needs them?
- Be kind to animals
- Attention does not equal attraction
- Be yourself
Concentrate on Your Good Points
You really don't have to have perfect looks to be attractive. You don't even have to be conventionally good looking. Just being happy with your strong points can immediately increase your attractiveness to women.
To be honest, perfect might be fun to look at, but can be a bit too much for most women. It makes us feel worried that other women might always be throwing themselves at you. That's stressful and makes us feel insecure. We want you all to ourselves and we don't want to be fearful that other women will constantly be trying to steal you away. It's true that there are definitely women who will always go for Mr Perfect-Looks, but there are lots and lots of women who are looking for something a bit deeper.
What we really want is a guy who is presentable and confident. We want our men to be acceptable to our friends and our families, and to other women. It's a fine line for some, but if you can master it, you're the winner.
Here are some ways you can play up your stronger features and diminish those things you'd rather go unnoticed:
- Dress to suit your body type. If you're not sure, have a look at what other successful men your shape or size are wearing.
- Shapely backside? Wear good quality pants that sit well and show you off.
- Great hair? Invest in good hair cuts to make the most of it.
- Gorgeous eyes? Don't hide behind shades unless you're in the sun. If you wear glasses, get some professional help in choosing the most flattering frames.
- Warm smile? Use it!
- Work out? Wear clothes that show off your muscles in a subtle way. Clothes that are too tight or too small can look pretentious, so keep it natural.
Everyone has both good points and things they wish they could change. Focus on the good points and that's what women will see.
Dirty or Clean?
Women love a man who gets down and dirty at work or play, but if you're looking for a date, you need to also show your clean side.
Food stains on your clothes, dirty and scrappy fingernails and toenails, greasy hair, scraps of whatever you had for lunch in your facial hair ... these things are never attractive.
Of course, get sweaty at the gym, but also try to be seen after you've showered and got into clean clothes.
If you have a job that is particularly dirty, such as working with oil, go to the extra effort to clean up as much as possible. Women appreciate it.
When you are out with a woman, in her mind and to other women, you represent her and her taste. If you are dirty and look like you don't care, it reflects on her and it can be embarrassing.
Also, if she thinks you're a terrible slob, it's unlikely she'll ever consider a relationship, as all she'll be able to think about is how much work you're going to be when she has to clean up after you.
Make the effort to keep yourself and your clothes clean, and you'll be surprised how much more attractive you are to women.
The sense of smell strongly influences a woman's attraction to anything, not just men.
Most women tend to agree that there's nothing worse than a guy who smells bad ... sorry, but it's the worst turn off, and it's something that is one hundred percent avoidable.
Lots of factors can affect body odor ... the food you eat and how much you sweat, for example. Shower, wash your hair, keep fingernails and toenails neat and clean so nothing can fester under them, and give special attention to your feet.
Always be prepared and aware for when you might be prone to extra sweating - at work, sport or play.
Also, be aware of your breath, keep your teeth clean and carry mints or breath spray.
Sometimes it's hard to smell yourself, so ask a trusted friend, pharmacist or even a doctor, and purchase the right products to control it.
People normally won't tell you unless you ask, and once you know, you can do something about it!
On the other hand, a clean man's natural smell is highly attractive, so don't over use the highly perfumed aftershave or cologne. Moderation is the key. Mainly stick to a product that eliminates the stink and lets your natural aroma come through.
Connect With Your Eyes
So much has been said and written about the relationship between eye contact and attraction, it's a bit overwhelming.
The reason for this is that eyes can communicate more than any words or actions.
Simple ways to use your eyes to attract women:
- Notice her. If you like the look of a woman, catch her eye and hold the gaze just for a moment. Look away and then back at her now and then. If she's looking at you, and her face is relaxed, you have her attention in a good way. Give her a smile and take it from there.
- The eyebrow flash is a great way to acknowledge her or to gage her interest. This is when you quickly raise and lower your eyebrows while looking directly at someone. Much has been made of this as a sign of attraction, but I've found that it's more just a way of saying 'hi' privately or across a crowded room. Of course, if she's saying 'hi' that's a good sign!
- If she's talking, and she's not looking at you, keep watching until she does. Then, look directly into her eyes for a moment. This shows that you are listening and interested in what she has to say.
- The wink ... use it to share a joke or acknowledge something amusing that she has said. That way it's intimate and attractive without being sleazy.
- Don't overdue eye contact. Too much can become creepy and confronting. Hold her gaze just a little longer than you would when you're talking to anyone else, then look away and look back.
Use your eyes to communicate warmth, humor and interest in her, and she'll find herself naturally responding to you.
Good Manners Matter
Women always notice how you behave in public and in private.
Don't make the mistake of underestimating the power of good manners in attracting women.
From the moment of first contact, it's vital to impress her with your manners, as it will distinguish you from all the competition.
A woman wants to know that you are prepared to make an effort for her, and this is probably the simplest way. It is also very important to her that you treat others decently, no matter who they are.
Good manners - almost every romantic hero in history has this one trait in common. The reason is that this is what women universally want! Plain and simple.
Brush up on your manners, and treat women and men alike with respect. Women will appreciate you for it, and you will automatically be seen as attractive.
Be Kind to Animals
This might sound like I'm kidding, but you'd be surprised how highly this features on a woman's list of priorities.
Joking about your hatred of cats or how you permanently dealt with the neighbour's noisy dog might make you a hero amongst your mates, but it doesn't make you more attractive to women.
Don't mistake attention for attraction.
Sure most women will be polite enough not to openly show their disgust, though most will protest loudly and some might even laugh politely. Then they will go home to the beloved pet that you don't yet know about, and let it chew up your number.
There's a very good reason that photos of men showing kindness to animals go viral.
Women love them.
You don't have to pretend to love something that you really can't stand or that makes you break out in an allergic rash at ten feet, but keep your dead cat/bird/dog jokes to yourself ... at least until you know her better.
Attention Does Not Equal Attraction
As I mentioned above, do not mistake attention for attraction.
Lots of guys do things to get attention - they dress in an overly flashy way, they're loud or purposefully rude, they're crude, they brag, they're inappropriate ... the list goes on.
Just because women notice you does not mean that they are attracted to you.
Attraction is positive attention, and not all attention is positive.
It's okay to have a big personality, or to be the life of the party, but also take the time to gage how you are being received. If people are cringing, or laughing at you rather than with you, tone it down.
Be open to women, and don't be afraid to just be yourself.
Women usually have a much stronger intuition than men. If you are pretending to be something you're not, they will notice and become guarded.
Trust and honesty are immensely important factors to women.
The very best tip you can ever be given for attracting women is this ...
Be presentable, relaxed and confident in yourself. Be genuinely interested enough in women to care about them and how they think and feel. Be yourself.
Do these things, and women will love you.
© 2013 herpointofview
VINNIE N.K FROM GREECE on February 21, 2020:
You are either attractive or not, however if you have fame and fortune, then that alone can make you attractive, even if you are heinous.
WESTON on February 21, 2020:
You can smell good,dress nice, have nice personality etc. If your Ugly your Ugly and you cant hide it. If you are ugly and have money, well that's a different story
Simon banda on March 16, 2018:
Well,wonderful l have learnt
Jennifer Mugrage from Columbus, Ohio on April 12, 2016:
Great Hub, and also great discussion in the comments section.
"Be kind to animals" is an excellent point. I would also add, to children and gay men. When I hear a man talk impatiently about children, or deridingly about gay men, it's an instant red flag.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on October 02, 2015:
Ultimately the goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for a relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
Generally speaking the best approach is to be yourself. Eventually we all revert back to our "authentic selves". It's almost a cliché to hear someone say: "He/she is not the same person I fell in love with."
Naturally looking your best and having good hygiene practices are essential. Being relaxed, confident, or having "swagger" with a sly sense of humor are all great things to exude. However the bottom line is no matter what you look like, do, or say you're going to get rejected!
It's a numbers game! Accept this as fact and don't take rejection personally.
What attracts one woman turns off another!
Today we live in an era where there are countless ways to meet women; Online dating sites, Speed Dating, Networking groups, Nightclubs, and even Meetup.com which is a site geared towards hobbies and interests and not dating per se. However over time after attending meetings people gradually get to know one another. They have groups for just about every thing: hiking, dancing, theatre goers, book clubs, writers, and even single mixers. Men are expected to be "proactive" when it comes to dating.
The law of attraction does not replace the law of action.
Simply put a guy has to get out there!
One man's opinion!:)
Kristen Howe from Northeast Ohio on October 02, 2015:
Great hub with some useful tips. Very useful indeed. Congrats on HOTD!
roselinsojan on October 02, 2015:
I am a women and I could say what must be a man,that is he must be jentile in look and he must speak gently.when a woman look into his eyes there must be a shine of kindness.He become more attractive,when he show caring. Externel appearence do not attaract a women..
Nadine May from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa on October 02, 2015:
You are so right in many ways. Many years ago I did experience man on dates who love themselves to much, and who only talk about themselves and do not know how to listen! Years later I was grateful that I never fell for them like some of my girlfriend did. Great tips for young man who are going out on their first date! Well done and congrats for been chosen as the hub of the day!
Kenneth Avery from Hamilton, Alabama on April 06, 2014:
Bravo! Great read! I love exclamation points! Especially when I love a hub like yours. The lay-out, phrasings, and overall writing was A+ and I voted up and all of the way across.
Keep up the great work and I invite you to check out a few of my offerings.
Carrie Lee Night from Northeast United States on September 21, 2013:
Thank you for this interested hub :) What attracted me to my now husband was his gentle smile and voice and the fact that he never tried to be something he wasn't :) We met on a blind date and the rest is history. Have a wonderful week
herpointofview (author) on September 21, 2013:
You have a wonderful, positive outlook! Thanks again for your thoughts and for your open attitude. You have a lovely weekend too. I'm about to go on vacation without computer for a short while, so forgive me if I go quiet for a bit. Perhaps we'll catch up when I return. All the best, and keep hubbing!
Escobana from Valencia on September 21, 2013:
I was eager to read your response and I'm very happy you've put as much thought into your reply as I did! Thanks:-)
And I agree....Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's very personal in a way and I'm not sure if women go under more pressure than men. I'm very much stimulated by visual impressions, typical beauty aspects in men and the way they move or talk. Especially now that I'm older.
This topic intrigues me because exceptionally handsome men can come across as arrogant or very into themselves but it's often just a mask to hide their own insecurity. Many of them are quite humble and can be even shy but women will approach them with the same kind of prejudice men can have, while observing beautiful women.
Being overweight or slim is definitely an issue when talking about beauty. I've been 88 kilo's for years while struggling with Bipolar Disorder and I've seen the difference in men and society in general. Fat people don't appeal to the eye mostly. There's a lot to say about this but modern day society has made it's mind up. Fat is ugly.
We don't live in a culture where fat equals beauty even though these cultures do exist of course. Even using the word fat or using the word crazy (for people with mental illnesses) is a par of our daily lives, in which we have to learn how to be realistic and fight back with all the confidence we have built over the years.
I have to thank you very much for the last words in your comment. Bipolar Disorder isn't unattractive to ME. I do feel I'm strong and positive for the way I'm dealing with my illness. It has turned my world upside down but it made me a better person. I don't even feel it's a struggle anymore even though it's reminding me on a daily base how careful I need to be in protecting my longterm stability.
Bipolar Disorder and having to deal with that as an outsider, a men that falls for me beauty and wit, my confidence or my passion in life and bedroom:), feels unattracted to my illness in most cases. It's the taboo around this topic. The reference they have of famous (crazy) people.
Like women who survived breastcancer, powerful and beautiful without breasts or heavily marked by scars. It's the next step a man has to take in deciding for himself whether that person still appeals to the eye. If it's more important than her personality. It's a choice we can't make for the other.
I'm hoping your Hub gets all the attention it deserves. I've been around here for some time and I love the interaction you get with other writers. It's a wonderful community to be part of and I hope you enjoy Hubpages as much as I do.
Wishing you a great weekend from sunny Spain, Valencia!
herpointofview (author) on September 20, 2013:
I love how much thought you have put into your reply. Thanks for being so candid. I agree that beauty, or what we have been told is beauty, sells. When I say that everyone is attractive, I mean that there it is there within him or her, and that's really what my article is about ... minimizing the bad points and focusing on the good. The person with a perfect body, hair, teeth and so on can be very unattractive, even at first impression, if an ugly personality (for example) is showing. I know it's a cliché, but I think there is a lot behind the saying that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". To me, being attractive is more than beauty, it's an attitude. Sure some will have more charisma than others, and perhaps be more attractive, but I still believe we are all attractive to a degree, and can enhance what we already have. Take, for example, a very overweight person and a person with a perfect body. If the overweight person loses weight and the perfect person gains it so that they become an equal size, I guarantee that the originally overweight person is going to project more confidence and be more attractive because he feels better about himself. There is a lot of power in how you see yourself. I do think women are under a lot more pressure than men to be traditionally "beautiful", possibly because men are initially more stimulated by visual impressions and peer group influence. As you said, first impressions count. On the other hand, many traditionally "ugly" men easily attract women. Why? I asked the women I interviewed what instant changes could be made to men they didn't like to turn them into attractive men, and the article covers the results. I'm sorry to hear that you struggle with Bipolar Disorder. I do not agree at all, though, that it is necessarily unattractive - it is part of who you are, and you show your strength and positive attitude in how you deal with it. I'm sure that the down times are very down, but needing love and care and understanding can also be most attractive to a caring, giving person. A world that treats all of us like equals? It would definitely make all the difference!!
Escobana from Valencia on September 20, 2013:
Thanks for responding:-) I'm glad my comment could add something to your Hub. Now that you mention every man and woman IS ALREADY ATTRACTIVE....I might have to say something very honestly here.
I think a large group in society isn't attractive, mainly because of the genes they were given. It's not attractive when you have bad skin because you have serious skin problems.
It's not attractive to have lot's of hair on your back while looking like a bear. It's not attractive to have bad teeth, showing a smile of someone who seems to have been beaten up.
It's not attractive to have bad breath, due to stomach problems and in my case it's not attractive at all to look all nice from the outside, but to have a serious mental illness called Bipolar Disorder.
Genes in a way can curse us or bless us. Some people aren't lucky at all and therefor aren't attractive from the start. Attractiveness has to do with first impressions and that is mainly physical or hormonal. (when smelling someone)
Those that aren't attractive by their looks, can compensate this with their attitude and character but they will need to work harder to get somewhere in life. That's just the world we live in. Tough and prejudiced.
On the other hand....Looking all hot and sexy (and I work out for that with a lot of motivation) doesn't mean that first impressions always count. Bipolar Disorder is genetic and for life which means, men respond to my first impressions, to later find out I'm a whole lot of work.
That's far from attractive but it's the real deal that comes with the package of good skin and great teeth. It's a beautiful thought to have...Everyone is attractive no matter what genes you were given....BUT
I know from experience that my genes have some advantages over others simply because we live in a superficial world most of the time. Beauty sells, sexyness does too and charisma is another aspect of being attractive. Some people have charisma and others will never radiate this special kind of energy because this has to come naturally.
Thanks again for responding! I'm curious to know what your thought is on this and I would love to live in a world that treats all of us like equals. That would make all the difference!
herpointofview (author) on September 19, 2013:
Thanks Escobana for your positive feedback and for sharing your insightful comments. So many articles about attraction involve changing you are, or investing in products that send a message that you are not good enough without them. The idea of "instant" was to convey a collective point of view that being yourself is wonderful. No matter what your genes have given you, every man (and, of course, woman) can be, and in fact IS ALREADY attractive. We just have to realise it and make the most of it. "A true personality" is such a perfect way to express it, thank you. Love it!
Escobana from Valencia on September 19, 2013:
Great Hubtitle! It immediately caught my attention. Especially since I expected it to be written by....a man! LOL
I had to restart and understand this was written from a women's point of view. You also mentioned the fact that you asked many women about this topic.
I like the article. It's clear, it's honest and it makes a lot of sense. Even though I agree with your tips, I also have to make one important comment. "To be presentable, relaxed and confident in yourself"....is by far one the most difficult things to learn in life.
We go from one illusion to the next, learning from our mistakes, to finally reach that state of sexy CONFIDENCE. It took me at least 35 years to get there!
To feel relaxed about myself...WAUW....that also took a long long time! Meanwhile I was one of the many women that did not appeal at all to the men around me. They saw my insecurity from a mile away!
So in this way....tips to become more attractive...INSTANTLY...might not work the same day or the next week. It's a good start though. The rest is up to life and the time you need to really understand women or for us to really undestand men.
See....the attraction factor goes both ways. Men and women have to learn to be themselves and when they do, yes.....then we attract....because we have become a true personality.
Great Hub! Voted up and shared!