Out of the Mouths of Babes: Kids' Insights on Dating, Love and Marriage
Without further ado, meet seven kids who are wise beyond their years. When it comes to dating, marriage, and romance, these little ones have summed up the truth of the entire matter with one succinct comment sentence each. If only we had been that smart that young. Oh, the possibilities!
"Wear the Shirt Everyday"
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
Noelle's observation is not only adorable, but really smart. Personally, when a man asks me what I plan on wearing for our date so that he can wear something equally appropriate, I am already half-way in love. It's the little things that matter, guys. Consequently, when you willingly wear that blue shirt with the khaki pants, instead of your more comfortable black pullover and nice jeans---just because doing so will make her feel more comfortable, you are definitely on the right track.
The same goes for the ladies. Surely you know he has been dying to see you in that pretty red dress he bought for you... the one with the scoop neck! Well then, what are you waiting for? The next time you go out someplace extra nice for dinner, on a Saturday night, be sure to slip on that pretty number, and don't forget to let him handle the zipper. (wink, wink) Yep... if you wear the shirt everyday you are expressing bona fide caring and your love life will be much better for it.
What to Do When the Date Has Gone South
"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." -- Craig, age 9
Craig probably has the right idea. If you've just had the date-from-hell, you are wise to cut your losses and try again with someone new. I know someone who has not learned this lesson; he might even be a glutton for punishment. We will call him Aaron (not his real name).
For example, Aaron once had a date with a "beautiful woman who looked like Pamela Anderson." His words, not mine. Anyway, they got to the restaurant and waited in the bar for a table. (It was a long wait.) Then, this deaf guy comes up to the bar and somehow asks if he can text with "Pamela." Pamela says, "Sure." Next thing you know, Pamela and deaf guy are getting rather cozy. Suddenly, a group of Asian tourists come up to the bar and ask Aaron if he would kindly take some pictures of them with their camera. Before he knows it, Aaron has been whisked away to another part of the restaurant, so as to get a greater variety of photos for his new friends. Pamela doesn't mind. She's having fun texting deaf guy. When Aaron comes back to the bar, after obliging the tourists, he finds that Pamela and deaf guy are locking lips. True story.
Aaron ended the date, but he maintained that "deep down" Pamela was a wonderful person and that maybe he'll give her another chance. This is the part where I banged my head against the wall. Apparently, some men are not teachable.
The moral of this crazy story? Sometimes we have to be as smart as a 9-year old. We need to learn how to "call the dead columns."
It Ain't Always About the Beauty
"It isn't always how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything, and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." -- Brian, age 7
Beauty is as beauty does. Brian has already learned that handsomeness is only skin deep. Something tells me that even though our 7-year old has an exceptionally high opinion of himself, he is probably going to do just fine in the romance department, once he reaches that stage in his life. You see, Brian takes note of what works and what doesn't work. He has already come to the conclusion that looks are secondary. We should all be that perceptive. I'll cross my fingers that my friend, Aaron, who has a serious weakness for busty blonds, will figure out one day that "it isn't always about how she looks." But I won't hold my breath.
Key Qualities of a Good Man
He is a Gentleman
He is Faithful
He has a Positive Attitude
He is Direct; he doesn't dodge questions and he looks at you when he talks to you.
He has Integrity; he is respectful of others as well as you.
He is Honest; he doesn't just tell you what you want to hear.
He is Mature and calm under pressure.
He can handle his financial affairs.
He is Confident and not pressured to go against his values.
What Happens When You Kiss Someone
"When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down, and they don't get up for at least an hour." -- Wendy, age 8
Yes, that is exactly right, figuratively speaking. I don't know about you, but my first kiss sent shivers all up and down my body. I felt weak in the knees. It is a wonder I didn't topple over because I was pretty sure the ground was shaking. After my first kiss, I fell in love. Puppy love. He was my dream boy. His name was Sam. I wanted to kiss him a million times.
Luckily, I had a discerning mother. Once she laid eyes on the guy, the budding romance came to a screeching halt. Thank goodness. No telling what my silly teenage heart might have done next. Mom patiently explained that she could see right through Sam. Then she pointed out the ways in which Sam was no gentleman. By some miracle, I listened. The rest is history.
The moral of the story is this: Don't rely on your feelings alone when deciding who to kiss. Look at how they treat you and how they treat others. Otherwise, when you grow older, you might fall down....and there's a chance it might take years for you to get back up again.
Who Are the Most Romantic People In the World?
Answer: The Spaniards
"Europe’s most convincing Casanovas, the Spanish, are often overlooked in favor of the French and the Italians. They shouldn’t be." ~CNN Travel
Argentines come in second; Italians came in third; the French come in fourth.
How To Get a Second Date
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -- Mike, 10
I think Mike has a sense of humor, or maybe just very cynical relatives. Nevertheless, Mike's observation has some merit, in a bass-ackward sort of way. While we should never become pathological liars, neither should we be that person who reveals their entire life's story on a first date. Have you ever been out with someone who whines about their gastrointestinal problems, number of cheating ex-boyfriends, and how much they hate their boss? If you have, I'm pretty sure you opted out of a chance for a second date.
So in a weird, politically incorrect way, Mike may have been trying to say something like this:
"Dude, if you want a 2nd date, don't tell her that you wear your dirty underwear all week long and that you lied to your mom about why you got in trouble at school."
(We'll just decide that is what our sweet 10-year old really meant by "Just tell each other lies.")
First Date Tips
Don't Monopolize the Conversation
Don't Ignore Cues
Avoid falling into the '"talking too much trap."
Too much information is a turn-off.
Pay attention to verbal & non-verbal cues.
Stop trying to sell yourself.
Please do not talk about your Ex. Period.
Be self-aware of what you are saying and doing.
Never complain or whine about anything.
A date is not the time to "purge" your issues.
Listen and be guided by what you observe.
How To Decide Who To Marry
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." -- Allan, age 10
They say that couples who play together, stay together. More specifically, couples who have shared interests together, as well as hobbies of their own, tend to be the happiest. In other words, couples who sometimes "play" together, without being attached at the hip are the happiest. Our Allan has the right idea.
For example, grown-up Allen probably wouldn't expect his future wife to sit through entire football games with him every single Sunday. (She likes football, but not that much!) Albeit, future Allan may be rather optimistic in believing his wife is always going to keep "the chips and dip coming;" nevertheless, there is nothing to prevent his wife from whipping up some dip before the game, plopping it on the coffee table along with a bowl of chips and announcing, "Have at it, Darling, I'm going shopping."
Frankly, grown-up Allan is secretly relieved that his wife picks most football Sunday's to go shopping.... he'd rather be shot with a thousand arrows than spend a day lugging his wife's purse around and trying to feign interest when she inevitably asks, "How does this look, honey? Should I get this cute top or the other one?" No indeed. If it came down to it, he'd much rather settle in with a bag of chips, some Z Bars, and his favorite armchair before the game.
But it won't come to that. His wife understands and respects that he loves football. In fact, she even makes Allen a big batch of nachos and her famous French onion dip, to go along with his favorite chips, just before she leaves for the mall. She doesn't mind the extra effort, mostly because her sweet husband never hesitates to do sweet things for her.
It's all about the small, thoughtful gestures we do everyday, like "keeping the chips and dips coming" that make for a happy marriage. Yes sirree, our Allan has insight coming out of his ears.
Advice For Forgetful Husbands
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." -- Erin, age 8
Erin is no fool. At age eight, he might be the most clever boy on the planet. If you're a great kisser you might get away with a plethora of things, but as for never taking out the trash, I wouldn't count on it. Probably hell would have to freeze over first. Nevertheless, intimacy, sex and soulful kisses are the glue which hold a marriage together, even when everything else seems to be falling apart. Interestingly, according to a study of 80,000 people around the world, "33% more men than women say it bothers them "a lot" that their significant other "isn't more romantic." That means we have to keep the kisses coming because kissing is romantic, intimate, and very sexy. It's the nicest way to say, "I love you;" "I find you attractive;" "I desire you."
And yes, the side benefit of being an amazing kisser is that if you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, or if you still haven't gotten around to fixing that leak underneath the kitchen sink, your wife might just give you a pass. It could be she's up for some distraction, if you catch my drift....
"While women tend to ascribe big-picture significance to a kiss, guys often smooch for short-term gain.....as a means to an end..."— Sheri Kirshenbaum, The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us.
Which kid do you agree with the most?
Just For Laughs...
- "It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That's why I stopped doing it." -- Tammy, age 10
- "Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!" -- Ricky, age 7
- "Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." -- Brad, age 8
- "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble. -- Kenny, age 7
With advice like this from seven wise children, who needs a "How-To-Book" from a grown-up. Not me.
© 2017 Yves