How Else Can a Woman Keep a Man Interested?
When boy meets girl, they’re curious about what they can discover. When man meets woman, they’re cautious about what they will decide:
Will there be a relationship? What kind of relationship? What are the expectations?
The man in this article is assumed to be a decent, desirable individual,so the counsel is addressed to the woman who may need help to keep him interested. (We may also imagine the reverse --virtuous woman and inexperienced man).
Here, we show concern for the woman who is so desperate for a relationship that before she figures out the man and his interest, she is ready to offer up her entire self —complete with sexual favors to keep the man interested. The following six suggestions offer her some options to keep the man enjoying her company while appreciating her worth.
(1) Be Respectful
"Every good relationship … is based on respect. If it's not based on respect, nothing that appears to be good will last very long." — Amy Grant
The woman's respect contributes to the man's sense of self. It adds to his feeling of worth, and elevates him to thinking of her as more than a physical shape.
Respect for a man includes but is not limited to:
- listening to him and not butting in before he finishes his sentence;
- refraining from jokes, stories, comments which might embarrass him;
- complimenting his strengths;
- discussing relationship boundaries which set him up to become a protector instead of a trespasser;
- covering the body parts which he shows no interest in seeing.
When sex is the foundation of the relationship, there is less time and less desire to demonstrate this kind of respect. Plus, the woman who upholds this kind of respect is likely to receive the same kind.
(2) Have Relationship Options
"You’re not born a winner; you are not born a loser. You are born a chooser." – Hussein Nishah
Relationships are less worrisome when both the man and woman know that they have the prerogative to change or end the relationship. This option makes them comfortable to reveal their true selves, and be honest about how much or how little adjustments they care to make.
When a woman offers this kind of option to man, what she gets in return is the man’s recognition of her courage, her confidence and her individuality. He may run from these strengths because he finds them overpowering; or he may choose to embrace them because he finds them complementary.
It is pitiful to see some women (some men do too) throw temper tantrums, become telephone or email nuisances or even stalkers when they consider the other person’s decision unsatisfactory. Respect for self, and respect for the other person can enable them to remain civil to each other.
(3) Offer Empowerment
“Basically, all women are nurturers and healers."
― Nelson DeMille
Every man who connects with a good woman should be more empowered because of the connection. Her natural talents and her interpersonal skills are assets to help her influence a man.
She does not have to lecture him or give him reading assignments, but through her conversations and conduct, she may enrich his life. Statements like the following may reveal his deepening admiration for her:
- "Her love for animals is rubbing off on me."
- "I am more concerned about my spirituality since we started talking."
- 'I make better nutritional choices now that we dine together.'
- "She motivates me to complete my studies."
If losing the relationship will not feel like a personal loss to the man, the woman may be considered a liability. He likes the woman to be an asset to his self-improvement.
(4) Practice Trust
"It is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest, that holds human associations together." --H. L. Mencken
Trust is like an agreement to hold hands no matter what. The man and woman need mutual assurance that if suspicion, doubt, fear or external interference surfaces, the grasp of the hands will tighten and not loosen. This assurance requires an accompanying agreement to be honest and transparent. With self-worth intact, and the understanding that past mistakes do not fix the agenda for life, the woman can practice trust in the new relationship.
No man wants to listen to expectations of betrayal and disappointment. Expressions of confidence and loyalty will boost his desire to be worthy of the trust he receives. What man would not welcome a relationship in which both he and his partner can trust and be trusted without always having to prove it?
(5) Accept His Affections
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate." -- Sir John Lubbock.
Many women sabotage relationships because they do not how to respond to affection. Some mistakenly interpret the slightest touch as an invitation to bed. Others run from the touch because it makes them uncomfortable.
Cures for both groups begin with the woman’s appreciation for herself. It is for her to believe that her values and virtues make her desirable, and that she deserves the attention and companionship of a decent man. The man wants to be needed not only for his ability to provide material comfort, but also for physical and emotional comfort in the form of hugs and cuddles.
He may also express affections in compliments, in gifts and in practical help. No matter how, he wants the woman to appreciate, not to reject his affection; he also would be happy to receive some affection in return.
(6) Enjoy the Relationship
"Enjoying your relationships should be an act of the heart." - Derrick Sumral
Real enjoyment comes from the mutual sharing of hearts that appreciate what they have in each other.
Here are some hints to help the woman enjoy the relationship as fully as possible:
- Accept the man as he is; focus on his positive, likeable aspects and refuse to nag about the non-essentials.
- Know that he will not have the same personality like another male friend or relative.
- Spend quality time in activities which include play and laughter.
- Communicate freely to ensure mutual understanding; forgive human errors.
- Be supportive and express gratitude for his support.
It the relationship makes the man feel alive and happy, it is likely to become his priority; and the woman is likely to become the center of his world.
Questions & Answers
We’ve been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years now. Last night I asked him what was wrong because he had been distant and doesn’t show any emotions towards me. He told me his love for me “faded”. He wants time to think about it but it’s killing me. I don’t know what to say or do when I see him. I just wanna hug him and cry so much. But I’ve been giving him the space he needs, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong....any advice?
There are so many questions I would like to ask before I give an answer, but with the information you have provided, it seems that he is giving you time to get over your crying. If he said that his love has faded, he is saying that he does not love you any more. You cannot force love. Thank him for being honest, cut your losses, grieve a little but plan to move on.
Consider your contribution to the break up, and plan how to avoid it happening in your next relationship. Consider that your dance with him may be over, but that the music is still playing, and there are other dancers on the floor. Improve on yourself, give yourself time to renew and refresh your poise. You'll be even more desirable than you were before. He may even want to dance again, but limit yourself. Choose wisely.
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© 2016 Dora Weithers
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Comments
AUTHORJane, congratulations on your successful marriage, and thanks for affirming the necessity of these relationship principles. Best to you and yours going forward!
Great hub Dora I have been married 30+ years and still need to be remindinded of these things you have written about so well.
Thankyou!
- AUTHOR
Deborah, you got that right. Anybody can engage in sex. Decent men want more. They want virtue first. Thanks for your input.
Great article. These tips are very helpful. It's not all about sex, in the end. It's about kindness, love and forgiveness.
Thanks for writing.
Namaste
Dora my friend, this just stuck with me to think and love about. For me it is 100% the day in and day out. Crap storms, injuries, deaths and births. That danged getting up or staying up late to make it work. That forgiveness and teaching by relying on Christ.
I figure I just have to admit, I am a handful and every year is a blessing.
- AUTHOR
Haider Mama, I appreciate your input. Thanks for sharing about your father and mother. It is true that respect breeds respect. I hope that you have forgiven your father.
I grew up in a community where most of the men do not give the respect their wife deserves. Even my father treated my mother in front of us badly. He would talk in an unacceptable manner to my mother. However, it increased my respect for my mother and decreased my good feelings for my father.
Respect is the pillar of any relationship be it with God or humans. Respect is the most important thing for me. Respect is the same as love the more you give the more you get.
- AUTHOR
Louise, glad you like that quote. Why make the man feel like his affection is expressed in vain, when we know how much we like it? It pays to be honest with the man if we want to keep his interest. Thanks for your comment.
Yes, accept his affections. I love that bit. I love the advice you've given here.
- AUTHOR
Dream, coming from a man like you with a long-term happy marriage, your comment is a great encouragement. Thank you.
Your tips are wonderful and looking back at my own relationship I see where your words make sense and mean so much. Thank you for sharing and caring.
- AUTHOR
Shauna, I agree wholeheartedly. Thanks very much for your wise input.
Great advice for developing and keeping a romantic relationship. It all boils down to mutual and self-respect and having fun. I think too often, we forget to have fun in our relationships, especially when marriage turns to parenthood.
- AUTHOR
Glad you like it, Sommer. I appreciate you for following me.
I love this, thank you!
- AUTHOR
Thank, Martie, for your kind encouragement.
Excellent advice, MsDora! Evergreen!
- AUTHOR
Deb, what a kind comment. Great feeling to have other women confirm what we know to be important about womanhood. Thank you.
This is definitely a winner. You certainly know what you are putting forth here, as it is reasonable, tried, and true.
- AUTHOR
Emunah, thank you for reading, commenting and tweeting. We are on the same page regarding respect. I appreciate your support.
Very well-written Ms. Dora! I am a big believer in respecting others in a relationship, without respect, a relationship lacks space to grow. Thank you for this insightful Hub! Tweeted out!
- AUTHOR
Bob, thanks for your very encouraging comment. Happy for you that you are enjoying your marriage; love always wants to do more. Thanks for sharing and all the best to you and your wife going forward!
I loved the quotes and how they were woven into the article. The way you did it made the material profound. It made me think deeply about my own relationship with my wife and if I have already been doing some of these things. I have been all of them to some degree but I am thinking I could make my relationship even better if I perfected some of these things with purpose. My wife and I will be married for 18 years on Halloween and she is the best thing that ever happened to me. She deserves more of each of these suggested items in your article. Loved the article. Bob.
- AUTHOR
Chitrangada, happy to see you. Thanks for your very kind comment. I appreciate your input.
Beautiful hub on relationships between man and woman and I think you said it all. It needs commitment, mutual respect, mutual trust and understanding from both partners to have that long lasting relationship. And it is important to accept the negatives along with the positives since no one is perfect.
Excellent and engaging hub with words of wisdom! Thank you!
- AUTHOR
Yecall, you are very kind. Thank you.
Beautiful work Ms Dora as always
- AUTHOR
Rajan, thank you for very kind comment. Great for the man and woman to be on the same page with their expectations.
I'd say it is must read for both the woman and the man. Definitely one of your best hubs. Thanks for sharing.
- AUTHOR
Thanks, Devika for your input. Without an open mind, it is possible to miss out on something/someone very good.
Great topic! Sometimes couples don't see much of what you shared here in each other. An opened mind is part of it too.
- AUTHOR
Thanks, Frank. What a beautiful comment! God bless you too, and have a great week.
wonderful... I love how you soften the words to make these suggestions realistic.. bless you
- AUTHOR
Thanks Faith. I appreciate your contribution and your exemplary attitude which can have a positive influence on other women.
Insightful article, MsDora, a lot of great points to consider for those looking for the right man. I'm so glad I was raised to respect myself and never even put up for one second any disrespect from a man, even now in friendships. Blessings
- AUTHOR
Bill, I appreciate your kind words. You always encourage me. Thank you.
More words of wisdom from your keyboard.Thanks Dora. I love the way you make the profound so simple. So much here to consider. /Thanks again.
- AUTHOR
Moonlake, I tried to change my previous comment earlier but was too late. We do agree that marriage goes both ways; I mentioned that this article was for the woman (hard to say all at once). I also wrote: "What man would not welcome a relationship in which both he and his partner can trust and be trusted without always having to prove it?" We do share some similar views.
Thanks for both of your comments. And yes, 52 years of marriage gives you a lot to share. I welcome your views.
- AUTHOR
Marlene, I am encouraged to have a woman in a 28 year marriage affirm the principles in this article. Congratulations and thank you.
- AUTHOR
Manatita, I'm not surprised that you remember the article on modesty. You live by these themes, so why would you not remember? I agree that being loved and respected helps a woman to love and respect. Thanks, as always for your encouragement.
I never said we could not both be right. I think we can both be right. Men also need to be respectable to keep a woman. Marriage goes both ways.
I was married 52 years so I think we were respectable of each other. I never had to prove to him I could be trusted and he never had to prove it to me.
I absolutely feel like this is a life manual on how to feel safe and loved in a relationship. You sum it all up in your hints. I truly believe in all that you have shared here and feel like if we start with respect and work our way through the process you have outlined here, then we can all have the kind of love we deserve. I have been married for 28 years now and it all started with respect... for our self and for each other.
Excellent write. I was thinking that to a large extent, there is no reason that some of these principles should not apply in day to day living. The art of communication covers so many things!
Respect is a big one and yes, our dress style does affect this. Actually, you did a great one on modesty, I believe, some years ago. Surprise ...surprise ...I remember. Something must be wrong with me!
Nice video! Intrigue is great. I like that!
Actually, many woman go a long way to please their men. But they must feel loved. Ok Dee. Take care.
- AUTHOR
Carolyn, thrilled for you that both marriages were happy. I bet the men respected you because you were were respectable to begin with, and also that you respected them. Love it when women affirm that this can happen. Thank you for sharing.
Great hub. I have had two happy marriages (I was widowed, and remarried). In both cases, the men I married respected me. It is so very, very important. I wish more women would realize this. It is difficult in our "over sexualized" society.
- AUTHOR
Sorry and thanks, Moonlake.
Sorry because you don't think we can both be right: the same thing you describe as work, I describe as self-empowerment.
Thanks because I appreciate you for sharing your opinion.
- AUTHOR
Dashing, thanks for sharing your observations. Your last sentence describes the real deal. Thanks for your contribution.
This is a lot of work for the woman. When all she should do is be her natural self. If you have to work this hard at a relationship it's time to cut this man loose and go your separate ways.
Excellent tips!
I think it also helps to truly (know) your mate.
Too often we as a society look for various "Gender Shortcuts" where we say; "All men want ....etc" and "All women want...etc" We (box) them up.
However everyone is an (individual) and not simply regulated to a gender.
In order to (know) someone you have to listen and observe carefully. Most people will share with you what they want, expect, and hope for from a relationship. Only you can determine if (you) are "right for them" based upon receiving that knowledge. Ultimately every reverts back to their authentic self.
You can only be (you) when it's all said and done.
Ideally a good relationship would encompass two people being accepted and loved for who {they} are. If one has to change their (core being) to make a relationship "work" there is a possibility they may have chosen the wrong mate for them self.
An old Curtis Mayfield & Impressions song was stated:
"The same thing it took to get your baby is the same thing it will take to keep them." Sadly though people are prone to "relax" in relationships once they feel there is an emotional investment on their mate's part.
It's easier to maintain a fire than it is to reignite a spark!
- AUTHOR
Ahorseback, you are very kind. Thanks for your encouragement.
- AUTHOR
Thanks Word. Glad you appreciate my content and my layout. I appreciate your support.
Absolutely awesome hub , Positive , empowering , hopeful ,helpful , trusting ! Every point you have made is perfect . You should be a relationship councilor my friend !........I'd go listen to you !
This is a wonderful hub Dora. I like how you organize and present these great ideas. Again, voted up!
- AUTHOR
Jackie, I totally agree. We live and learn. I also am so much wiser now, so it helps to share with the younger women.
- AUTHOR
Bill, your kind observation means much to me. Thanks for your encouragement and support.
- AUTHOR
Paula, thanks for your kind comment. So many women deserve this kind of relationship and I wish it for them.
- AUTHOR
Eric, happy for you and your darling wife that you have such a satisfying relationship. Thanks for sharing and best to you and your marriage going forward!
- AUTHOR
Lori, I hear you. Grateful that you read it anyway. Thanks for commenting.
- AUTHOR
Imelda. thanks for registering your agreement. True, anything worth having is worth the effort it takes to get it.
This would be great in a perfect world. When we look back we can see how much more important all of your points are. Too bad that so many of us, myself included, went so much for looks when that is about the least important as a way to happiness. Happiness is so much deeper than how beautiful someone is on the outside. But we live and learn.
Great article as always.
Shared.
Wonderful suggestions, Dora! On a side note, you have certainly improved as a writer. It is always a pleasure reading one of your articles.
This is fabulous, Ms. Dora. Required reading for every single woman interested in a good, honest & solid relationship with a man. Your suggestions are positively perfect.
Thanks for sharing this and contributing to Happy, Healthy relationships.......Peace, Paula
This is a wonderful article for a man to read, in my humble opinion. I think my wife's and my hugs in the mornings have all the good notions mentioned here. There is an integrity there that I cannot fully describe. Respect has to be at the top.
I am not interested in getting a man right now but this is good advice. Nice job Dora.
Great hub. This is really helpful. I know some of it is not easy but this is really true to have a good and lasting relationship. :-)
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