Fresh perspective on dating issues compiled in consultation with friends in North America, Australia and African nations.
It makes sense that girls want to know whether the guy they like has the same feelings for them and is interested in starting a relationship. Why waste time on a man who isn't interested?
How Do You Tell If a Guy Likes You?
Traditionally, men make the first move and ask a girl on a date. But what should a woman do if he's just too shy to ask you out? Maybe he wants to enter a relationship with you, but how can you tell if he just won't say?
Talking to him is the best option, but that is a challenging task for many women. You have to do something to determine for yourself if you might have a future together. Fortunately, the body reveals more than a potential new boyfriend will intentionally tell you. Here's what you need to start looking for!
15 Clues a Guy Likes You
Below are 15 clues a guy is interested enough in you to want to date you. If you are too distracted and preoccupied to pay attention when he is near, ask one of your trusted best friends to help you figure out how he feels about you.
- He stands close to you even if you're not in a small space.
- He makes lots of eye contact with you — you might even catch him checking you out.
- His pupils are dilated when he's talking to you (doesn't count if you're in a dark place).
- His face is expressive while talking to you.
- His lips are slightly parted while talking to you and his nostrils slightly flared — this indicates that his senses are aroused.
- He tries to show that he's 'manly' around you.
- He sometimes looks a little nervous — he might fidget or even be sweating a little bit when he's close to you.
- He touches his hair several times while talking to you.
- He gives you gifts.
- He finds reasons to touch you on your face, your hair, your lower back, etc. Really any touch at all is significant.
- He makes an effort to look good.
- He notices your body.
- He gives you his full attention when he's talking to you.
- He makes a big effort to be helpful.
- He's protective of you.
Here's a Quiz to Help You!
1. How Close Is He?
A guy will want to be close to you if he likes you. The distance between you and him can help you tell whether he is interested in you.
The closer he moves to you whenever you meet, the more likely he is interested in you. Even a really shy guy who generally stays at the back of his group of friends will find himself drawn to you.
2. Where Is He Looking?
Observe his eyes carefully to know if he likes you back the way you like him. He will make regular eye contact with you, and you'll probably catch him looking at your body from top to toe.
A nice guy will blush when you catch him, or smile in a sheepish, slightly embarrassed way. But it's best to stay away from the womanizer who looks like he's giving you his 'nod of approval' after he checks your body out. If he makes you feel like he is at a cattle sale or checking out the wares in a shop window, forget him and move on.
3. Are His Pupils Dilated?
The pupils of his eyes will dilate if he likes you.
On the other hand, if his pupils look like pin-pricks as he gazes into your eyes, beware. He's either not interested in you in a loving way, or he's a drug addict. Either way, he's not going to make a good boyfriend.
4. Is His Face Expressive?
If someone is bored or not interested in what's happening around them, you can see it in their face. But a man who is captivated and intrigued by the woman in front of him generally includes a variety of facial expressions that indicate he is paying attention and 'communicating'.
He may twist his mouth a little, to indicate he is thinking carefully about a question you've asked, before replying. Or raise his eyebrows in a questioning or approval-seeking gesture.
Read More From Pairedlife
If he is seeking your approval and offering nonverbal interaction, that's a good sign!
5. Look at His Lips and Nose
When a man is genuinely interested in getting to know a girl better, his lips will part slightly and his nostrils may flare.
Ah, yes. His senses are aroused.
Another good sign.
6. Is He Being 'Manly'?
Does he show his body off to you? Finding an excuse to show his muscles or his chest are indications he likes you. Rolling up his shirt sleeves is a good example.
He might not be aware of it, but essentially he is saying, 'Look at me and see me as a man!'
Your guy might not have a physique he is eager to display, particularly in the company of other men who are bigger, fitter or stronger than him. But he'll find other ways to impress you with how 'manly' he is.
For instance, he might pick up heavier boxes than he ordinarily would to help you if you are moving, or bravely kill a spider that frightens you when he is just as terrified of spiders as you are!
7. Is He Nervous?
A guy who really likes you and is trying to get up the courage to tell you, is likely to be nervous when he's with you. This is especially true for a guy you haven’t known for a long time. Still, he tries to look calm and relaxed around you.
For instance, he may play with a pen on his desk (if you speak to him at work). Or repeatedly reach for his drink if you meet at a social function. (A man's mouth can get very dry when he's nervous).
Some guys are better at hiding how nervous they are than others—just like a duck who looks still and serene floating on the lake while paddling madly under the water. You may not find out just how nervous he is until months later, when you're a couple, and talking about the early days when you first met.
Pity the poor guy who sweats when he's nervous. He's probably embarrassed by it. But the good news is, he likes you!
8. Does He Touch His Hair?
Watch to see if he is running his hand over or through his hair. This can mean a number of things. Either:
- He is preening himself, trying to look his best to impress you;
- He greatly regrets not having gone home to shower and change before coming out tonight, but he had no idea he'd be meeting you tonight;
- Gee, he feels so scruffy, and you look so gorgeous and well manicured;
- Or he's trying to send the message, 'I’m cool and great', seeking your attention and trying to convince you he is the best guy for you.
If you see a guy running his hands through his hair not just once, but several times, while he is talking with you, there's a good chance he likes you.
9. Has He Given You a Gift?
If he offers you gifts when you aren’t expecting them (it is not your birthday, and Christmas is months away), know that he cares for you and that he likes you.
He is interested in you, wants to make you happy, and wants to see how you will react.
He's probably hoping you'll kiss him to say thank you!
10. Does He Find Excuses to Touch You?
He will touch you, whether it’s intentional or unintentional.
If the guy is fond of having contact with your body, he likes you. He'll find an excuse to touch your hands, or your face, or your knee. He might brush your hair from your eyes, pick a stray hair from your jacket, or closely examine your jewelry.
11. Does He Make an Effort to Look Good?
Playing with his tie, tightening his belt, or tucking in his shirt are all ways of telling you, 'I want to look smart for you.'
Suddenly, he's no longer wearing his old faded clothes. Are they new shoes? Wow. That's a nice jacket.
Is he making a special effort to look good for you?
12. Where Is He Looking?
His eyes will wander over your body. Of course a gentleman won't want you to notice him doing it. Later in your relationship he'll be happy to let you see him appreciating your beauty, but in the early days he will try to be discreet.
His gaze may rest on the parts he enjoys most. This is another sign of a man who desperately wants you to give him a chance. He's enjoying . . . you.
That's encouraging for your future relationship. Unless he looks at others in the same way, enjoying . . . them. In which case, walk away.
13. Does He Give You His Full Attention?
You know there's always an exception to every rule, right? Well, most people agree that a guy who really likes you turns his whole body to face you. His thoughts and attention are directed at you. Only you.
Unless, of course, he is at work or in the middle of a task that requires his attention. In which case, if you are nearby, he'll keep looking at you as often as he can. But when talking with you, standing at a party for instance, he'll face you. He won't turn his back. And when sitting alongside you, he'll be turned in your direction.
Now is the perfect time to remind you of the exception to this particular rule.
Go easy on the guy who won't turn his whole body to face you, or doesn't jump up to greet you at the party, the pool or the beach.
Why? Because there might be a particular part of the guy's anatomy that can't conceal his delight at seeing you. Sometimes you're just going to have to accept that he really does have to leave in an unexpected hurry, or remain seated for some unexplained reason.
And if that's the case and there's nothing more sinister going on, just know that he likes you.
14. Is He Unusually Helpful?
He will offer you his coat, sweater or umbrella to protect you from the harshness of prevailing weather conditions. He doesn’t want the weather to cause you problems.
Suddenly he is gallant, like a knight in shining armour. He wants to protect you from any harm, no matter how inconvenient it is to him. That's a sure sign he likes you.
15. Is He Protective?
He doesn’t want anyone to intimidate or harass you in his presence. You will find him jumping to your defense whenever you are arguing or have an issue with someone else.
Why is he so keen to protect you and come to your aid? It is because he is interested in you. He wants you to depend on him. He wants you to know he is on your side and will support you.
If you score 10 or more hits from the checklist, he's likely to be very interested. And with 15 ticks, I'm guessing he really likes you. A lot!
Quick! Find time to do some research.
- Make sure he's not married
- not a drug dealer
- not a compulsive gambler
- no type of any other kind of 'trouble'.
If you can see any reason why a relationship with him might not be a good idea, start avoiding him now.
But if you want him and believe you've caught his attention and he wants to spend time with you, it is time to put your 'get the guy' plan into action..
Develop a 'Get the Guy' Plan
If the guy you like is very shy, you might have to encourage him (perhaps even 'trick' him) into revealing his feelings.
Come up with some clever ideas to create situations where you can discover how he really feels. For instance:
- Start a conversation with him so you can see if he gives you his full attention.
- Ask him for a hand moving something heavy. If he rolls up his sleeves and helps you without complaining, you're in luck. He likes you!
- Wear a piece of jewelry that invites him to touch it and examine it closely. A complicated piece should do the trick. You know, the type of necklace you need to hold to examine properly.
Give the guy who likes you a chance, and he'll probably ask you on a date. Create the opportunity for him to spend time with you (and become a little less nervous), and even a really shy guy should be brave enough to make some kind of move.
But if he's not able to overcome his nerves just yet, why not just make a move yourself?
If you like him and you think the guy likes you enough to join you on a date, show him how it's done. Ask him to join you for a coffee or a movie or a walk in the park. After your first outing, the ice will be broken and he should be more comfortable suggesting your second date.
Other Articles By Daniel Long
- How to Make a Man Fall Madly in Love With You: 13 Tips on Making a Guy Like You
Don't lose another man! Use these tips to make the man you want to fall madly in love with you.
- How To Impress A Boy: 5 Things You Can Do To Impress A Guy You Really Like
Five top ways to impress the guy you like. Simple strategies to give you confidence to catch his attention.
Questions & Answers
Question: Does a guy have feelings for me if he asks how I am doing and meets up with me?
Answer: That sounds positive. He’s showing an interest and making an effort. Keep looking for more of the signs on my list if you want to be sure that he likes you.
Question: What does this mean when I really like this guy but he has a girlfriend who is my friend, but when I'm with him we get close and he is so sweet and he finds the little excuses to touch me and now we are so close like brother and sister. What could this mean?
Answer: What does it mean? It means you're headed for trouble of one kind or another. Either the guy is with the wrong girl, in which case he should break up with your girlfriend and start dating you. Or your girlfriend is with the wrong guy because he's making moves on one of her best friends.
If he's as sweet as you say, he should be able to see what a difficult position he's putting you in. So I suggest you talk with him and tell him it doesn't feel right so he should either put more distance between himself and you ... or him and his girlfriend.
If you let this go on, you may well find yourself caught in a really unpleasant love triangle. I wouldn't wish that on anyone because there's never any winners.
Question: There's this guy at work who is passive aggressive. Sometimes, he's really attentive to me but sometimes it's like he doesn't care. He finds little random excuses to hold my hands. He always offers me chocolates. But then he never asks me personal questions or things to get to know me better. What is this? Does he like me or not?
Answer: You shouldn’t have to ask this question. Imagine a future with this man. Imagine how frustrated you’d be as his wife, or mother to his children. If he’s not able to have the kind of personal conversations that are important to you, he’s not the man for you. A passive aggressive partner comes with a host of potential problems. Particularly in a long term relationship.
I respectfully suggest you keep this man as a friend, and don’t let him believe the two of you have a future as a couple. He may well find someone better suited to him in the future. And you certainly need to find someone who can communicate with you in a way that makes you comfortable.
We all have emotional needs, and when they aren’t met it is impossible to be happy.
© 2012 Daniel Long