Fresh perspective on dating issues compiled in consultation with friends in North America, Australia and African nations.
It makes sense that girls want to know whether the guy they like has the same feelings for them and is interested in starting a relationship. Why waste time on a man who isn't interested?
How Do You Tell If a Guy Likes You?
Traditionally, men make the first move and ask a girl on a date. But what should a woman do if he's just too shy to ask you out? Maybe he wants to enter a relationship with you, but how can you tell if he just won't say?
Talking to him is the best option, but that is a challenging task for many women. You have to do something to determine for yourself if you might have a future together. Fortunately, the body reveals more than a potential new boyfriend will intentionally tell you. Here's what you need to start looking for!
15 Clues A Guy Likes You
Below are 15 clues a guy is interested enough in you to want to date you. If you are too distracted and preoccupied to pay attention when he is near, ask one of your trusted best friends to help you figure out how he feels about you.
- He stands close to you even if you're not in a small space.
- He makes lots of eye contact with you — you might even catch him checking you out.
- His pupils are dilated when he's talking to you (doesn't count if you're in a dark place).
- His face is expressive while talking to you.
- His lips are slightly parted while talking to you and his nostrils slightly flared — this indicates that his senses are aroused.
- He tries to show that he's 'manly' around you.
- He's sometimes looks a little nervous — he might fidget or even be sweating a little bit when he's close to you.
- He touches his hair several times while talking to you.
- He gives you gifts.
- He finds reasons to touch you on your face, your hair, your lower back, etc. Really any touch at all is significant.
- He makes an effort to look good.
- He notices your body.
- He gives you his full attention when he's talking to you.
- He makes a big effort to be helpful.
- He's protective of you.
Here's A Quiz To Help You!
1. How Close Is He?
A guy will want to be close to you if he likes you. The distance between you and him can help you tell whether he is interested in you.
The closer he moves to you whenever you meet, the more likely he is interested in you. Even a really shy guy who generally stays at the back of his group of friends will find himself drawn to you.
2. Where Is He Looking?
Observe his eyes carefully to know if he likes you back the way you like him. He will make regular eye contact with you, and you'll probably catch him looking at your body from top to toe.
A nice guy will blush when you catch him, or smile in a sheepish, slightly embarrassed way. But it's best to stay away from the womanizer who looks like he's giving you his 'nod of approval' after he checks your body out. If he makes you feel like he is at a cattle sale or checking out the wares in a shop window, forget him and move on.
3. Are His Pupils Dilated?
The pupils of his eyes will dilate if he likes you.
On the other hand, if his pupils look like pin-pricks as he gazes into your eyes, beware. He's either not interested in you in a loving way, or he's a drug addict. Either way, he's not going to make a good boyfriend.
4. Is His Face Expressive?
If someone is bored or not interested in what's happening around them, you can see it in their face. But a man who is captivated and intrigued by the woman in front of him generally includes a variety of facial expressions that indicate he is paying attention and 'communicating'.
He may twist his mouth a little, to indicate he is thinking carefully about a question you've asked, before replying. Or raise his eyebrows in a questioning or approval-seeking gesture.
If he is seeking your approval and offering nonverbal interaction, that's a good sign!
5. Look at His Lips and Nose
When a man is genuinely interested in getting to know a girl better, his lips will part slightly and his nostrils may flare.
Ah, yes. His senses are aroused.
Another good sign.
6. Is He Being 'Manly'?
Does he show his body off to you? Finding an excuse to show his muscles or his chest are indications he likes you. Rolling up his shirt sleeves is a good example.
He might not be aware of it, but essentially he is saying, 'Look at me and see me as a man!'
Your guy might not have a physique he is eager to display, particularly in the company of other men who are bigger, fitter or stronger than him. But he'll find other ways to impress you with how 'manly' he is.
For instance, he might pick up heavier boxes than he ordinarily would to help you if you are moving, or bravely kill a spider that frightens you when he is just as terrified of spiders as you are!
7. Is He Nervous?
A guy who really likes you and is trying to get up the courage to tell you, is likely to be nervous when he's with you. This is especially true for a guy you haven’t known for a long time. Still, he tries to look calm and relaxed around you.
For instance, he may play with a pen on his desk (if you speak to him at work). Or repeatedly reach for his drink if you meet at a social function. (A man's mouth can get very dry when he's nervous).
Some guys are better at hiding how nervous they are than others—just like a duck who looks still and serene floating on the lake while paddling madly under the water. You may not find out just how nervous he is until months later, when you're a couple, and talking about the early days when you first met.
Pity the poor guy who sweats when he's nervous. He's probably embarrassed by it. But the good news is, he likes you!
8. Does He Touch His Hair?
Watch to see if he is running his hand over or through his hair. This can mean a number of things. Either:
- He is preening himself, trying to look his best to impress you;
- He greatly regrets not having gone home to shower and change before coming out tonight, but he had no idea he'd be meeting you tonight;
- Gee, he feels so scruffy, and you look so gorgeous and well manicured;
- Or he's trying to send the message, 'I’m cool and great', seeking your attention and trying to convince you he is the best guy for you.
If you see a guy running his hands through his hair not just once, but several times, while he is talking with you, there's a good chance he likes you.
9. Has He Given You a Gift?
If he offers you gifts when you aren’t expecting them (it is not your birthday, and Christmas is months away), know that he cares for you and that he likes you.
He is interested in you, wants to make you happy, and wants to see how you will react.
He's probably hoping you'll kiss him to say thank you!
10. Does He Find Excuses to Touch You?
He will touch you, whether it’s intentional or unintentional.
If the guy is fond of having contact with your body, he likes you. He'll find an excuse to touch your hands, or your face, or your knee. He might brush your hair from your eyes, pick a stray hair from your jacket, or closely examine your jewelry.
11. Does He Make an Effort to Look Good?
Playing with his tie, tightening his belt, or tucking in his shirt are all ways of telling you, 'I want to look smart for you.'
Suddenly, he's no longer wearing his old faded clothes. Are they new shoes? Wow. That's a nice jacket.
Is he making a special effort to look good for you?
12. Where Is He Looking?
His eyes will wander over your body. Of course a gentleman won't want you to notice him doing it. Later in your relationship he'll be happy to let you see him appreciating your beauty, but in the early days he will try to be discreet.
His gaze may rest on the parts he enjoys most. This is another sign of a man who desperately wants you to give him a chance. He's enjoying . . . you.
That's encouraging for your future relationship. Unless he looks at others in the same way, enjoying . . . them. In which case, walk away.
13. Does He Give You His Full Attention?
You know there's always an exception to every rule, right? Well, most people agree that a guy who really likes you turns his whole body to face you. His thoughts and attention are directed at you. Only you.
Unless, of course, he is at work or in the middle of a task that requires his attention. In which case, if you are nearby, he'll keep looking at you as often as he can. But when talking with you, standing at a party for instance, he'll face you. He won't turn his back. And when sitting alongside you, he'll be turned in your direction.
Now is the perfect time to remind you of the exception to this particular rule.
Go easy on the guy who won't turn his whole body to face you, or doesn't jump up to greet you at the party, the pool or the beach.
Why? Because there might be a particular part of the guy's anatomy that can't conceal his delight at seeing you. Sometimes you're just going to have to accept that he really does have to leave in an unexpected hurry, or remain seated for some unexplained reason.
And if that's the case and there's nothing more sinister going on, just know that he likes you.
14. Is He Unusually Helpful?
He will offer you his coat, sweater or umbrella to protect you from the harshness of prevailing weather conditions. He doesn’t want the weather to cause you problems.
Suddenly he is gallant, like a knight in shining armour. He wants to protect you from any harm, no matter how inconvenient it is to him. That's a sure sign he likes you.
15. Is He Protective?
He doesn’t want anyone to intimidate or harass you in his presence. You will find him jumping to your defense whenever you are arguing or have an issue with someone else.
Why is he so keen to protect you and come to your aid? It is because he is interested in you. He wants you to depend on him. He wants you to know he is on your side and will support you.
If you score 10 or more hits from the checklist, he's likely to be very interested. And with 15 ticks, I'm guessing he really likes you. A lot!
Quick! Find time to do some research.
- Make sure he's not married
- not a drug dealer
- not a compulsive gambler
- no type of any other kind of 'trouble'.
If you can see any reason why a relationship with him might not be a good idea, start avoiding him now.
But if you want him and believe you've caught his attention and he wants to spend time with you, it is time to put your 'get the guy' plan into action..
Develop a 'Get the Guy' Plan
If the guy you like is very shy, you might have to encourage him (perhaps even 'trick' him) into revealing his feelings.
Come up with some clever ideas to create situations where you can discover how he really feels. For instance:
- Start a conversation with him so you can see if he gives you his full attention.
- Ask him for a hand moving something heavy. If he rolls up his sleeves and helps you without complaining, you're in luck. He likes you!
- Wear a piece of jewelry that invites him to touch it and examine it closely. A complicated piece should do the trick. You know, the type of necklace you need to hold to examine properly.
Give the guy who likes you a chance, and he'll probably ask you on a date. Create the opportunity for him to spend time with you (and become a little less nervous), and even a really shy guy should be brave enough to make some kind of move.
But if he's not able to overcome his nerves just yet, why not just make a move yourself?
If you like him and you think the guy likes you enough to join you on a date, show him how it's done. Ask him to join you for a coffee or a movie or a walk in the park. After your first outing, the ice will be broken and he should be more comfortable suggesting your second date.
Other Articles By Daniel Long
- How to Make a Man Fall Madly in Love With You: 13 Tips on Making a Guy Like You
Don't lose another man! Use these tips to make the man you want to fall madly in love with you.
- How To Impress A Boy: 5 Things You Can Do To Impress A Guy You Really Like
Five top ways to impress the guy you like. Simple strategies to give you confidence to catch his attention.
Questions & Answers
Question: Does a guy have feelings for me if he asks how I am doing and meets up with me?
Answer: That sounds positive. He’s showing an interest and making an effort. Keep looking for more of the signs on my list if you want to be sure that he likes you.
Question: What does this mean when I really like this guy but he has a girlfriend who is my friend, but when I'm with him we get close and he is so sweet and he finds the little excuses to touch me and now we are so close like brother and sister. What could this mean?
Answer: What does it mean? It means you're headed for trouble of one kind or another. Either the guy is with the wrong girl, in which case he should break up with your girlfriend and start dating you. Or your girlfriend is with the wrong guy because he's making moves on one of her best friends.
If he's as sweet as you say, he should be able to see what a difficult position he's putting you in. So I suggest you talk with him and tell him it doesn't feel right so he should either put more distance between himself and you ... or him and his girlfriend.
If you let this go on, you may well find yourself caught in a really unpleasant love triangle. I wouldn't wish that on anyone because there's never any winners.
Question: There's this guy at work who is passive aggressive. Sometimes, he's really attentive to me but sometimes it's like he doesn't care. He finds little random excuses to hold my hands. He always offers me chocolates. But then he never asks me personal questions or things to get to know me better. What is this? Does he like me or not?
Answer: You shouldn’t have to ask this question. Imagine a future with this man. Imagine how frustrated you’d be as his wife, or mother to his children. If he’s not able to have the kind of personal conversations that are important to you, he’s not the man for you. A passive aggressive partner comes with a host of potential problems. Particularly in a long term relationship.
I respectfully suggest you keep this man as a friend, and don’t let him believe the two of you have a future as a couple. He may well find someone better suited to him in the future. And you certainly need to find someone who can communicate with you in a way that makes you comfortable.
We all have emotional needs, and when they aren’t met it is impossible to be happy.
© 2012 Daniel Long
Rechard on April 12, 2020:
Im with this guy i love him but he behaviors from the past and present has change my feeling in many ways towards him i dont hate him .he also moves sneaky and i know he lies even for the simpliest things what should i do
Daniel Long (author) from All Over on May 26, 2019:
Hi Anonymous. It is pretty funny just how easy we are to read when girls know what to look for, isn't it? Thanks for dropping by to share your experience.
Anonymous on May 06, 2019:
Well ladies I can confirm the girl i like said that I do all of these lol
Jose on March 19, 2019:
This is a good article because it gives me information and that I’m gayyyyy
Aashi Singh on February 04, 2019:
The article is really helpful..... I liked it very much...
karleigh on February 01, 2019:
i like this guy who is in my violine class. there is only one problem
he is my violine teachers BROTHER. so what do i do
Daniel Long (author) from All Over on December 15, 2018:
It really won't take forever for you to stop liking a guy, MoonBug. We all think it is going to take forever but it never does. But that's not something you have to worry about yet. First you need to figure out if he likes you too or not.
So here's what I think. I believe you should stop stressing. You're making much more of a drama out of this than it has to be. So he already knows you like him. Big deal. What's the worst that can happen? He might ask you if you like him.
The answer to that is incredibly easy. You just say, 'Well I think I like you but I don't really know you yet. So I guess it is too early to say.'
But you don't have to say that unless he asks you. Meanwhile, I think you should just say 'hi' and make general conversation whenever you get the chance. If you don't make a fuss about it, he probably won't either.
Talk with the guy. You won't be friends with him if you stay strangers. He might never become your boyfriend, but he might be a really good friend in the coming years. So just talk with him and see how it goes. Take the pressure off yourself.
MoonBug on December 03, 2018:
So I like this guy, and we've only talked a few times, and whenever I try and compliment him, his face turns red. My friends try to talk to him, and I see him glancing at me every few minutes, but I'm not so sure if he likes me. All of my friends think that he definitely likes me, but I don't know what to believe. I like him a lot, but I'm not sure if he likes me, and it might take me forever to stop liking him if he doesn't. I really want to talk to him, but here's the thing: he already knows that I like him. How am I supposed to talk to him if we aren't close friends at all, and he already knows that I like him? I know that one really good reason that your crush likes you is that your already friends, and I want to be his friend, but it might just be awkward. Please help me!!
Hey on August 07, 2018:
What does it mean when your crush flicks your back??
Marie on August 03, 2018:
A guy i know acts like he likes me, asking personal questions,tries to get close to me, he knows im almost over a divorce. Hes asked if i have a boyfriend, I said no, and he doesnt have a girlfriend, hes my sons karate teacher. So i ask if he wants to go out sometime and if he still has no girlfriend and he smiles and says everyone is my girlfriend and asks why do i want to go out with him and i said because I like you and i think your very handsome and he just smiled, that was it. So I was confused after that
Darla on July 30, 2018:
So for the first time I asked a guy out who seemed like he liked me, asked me personal questions like, is your husband nice to you?, does he hit you?. He knows I filed for divorce. Then another time asked if I have a boyfriend which I said no, and I asked him and no girlfriend. Then a few weeks later I asked him do you still not have a girlfriend, would you like to go out sometime and he jokes and says everyone is my girlfriend and then he asked why I want to go out with him and I said because I like you and I think your very handsome. He was smiling but didnt answer my question. So now I have been avoiding him. He still looks at me but like wondering why Im avoiding him. Im American and he is Korean.
Chloe K on June 06, 2018:
Hi, I’m a new nurse and there’s this doctor that I work with I end up having alot of eye contact with because majority of the time when I look at him he’s looking my way and more specifically he’s looking me in the eyes.
He can be talking to a colleague and he looks at me in the eyes even though we are haven’t exchanged any words and I’m in the background. I always end up looking away first. I find myself quite drawn to him too but at the same time I don’t know why glances at me in the eyes or just randomly once in a while while even operating. He even struck up a conversation about something that other surgeons don’t really talk about as it’s not important and this guy literally was talking about it for an entire minute while staring at me in the eyes DURING an operation he was assisting. I didn’t understand what he was saying so I kind of just smiled/laughed with confusion written on my face and he trailed off haha.
Perhaps he’s the kind to look at people when talking to them?
I don’t know him and he doesn’t know me but he glances at me when I’m around.. I’ve noticed this a lot.
If I may add i’m young but so is he. He’s probably 8 years older than me so he’s around 29-30.
Please tell me why this doctor with whome I’ve worked almost 2-3 times glances at me quite a lot and also he’s very sweet and a kind person. He always thanks people for things unlike other snobby surgeons.
Kitty on June 05, 2018:
What if you've been friends forever
Daniel Long (author) from All Over on May 23, 2018:
Alisson I deleted your comment because you gave way too many personal details including your full name. You’re only young so maybe you haven’t yet considered how easy it is for people to google search and find your public posts.
Anyway, about the guy ... he is obviously very young too. If he doesn’t know how to slow dance or wasn’t confident, I understand why he said what he did.
I think you should wait and see what happens. Don’t be in a hurry to push the guy. He needs time and space to mature, like all teenagers do.
Daniel Long (author) from All Over on May 22, 2018:
I suggest it is time to step back, Dina. Remind the guy he has a girlfriend and it is not appropriate to be so close to you. Once he can see you're not going to allow him to treat you like this, he will have no choice but to reassess his relationship with his girlfriend.
He'll either choose you or he'll choose her. That's what you want to happen. There's no point allowing it to become normal to take you for granted. You should stand up for yourself and expect to be treated with respect.
dina on May 22, 2018:
I really like this guy but he has a girlfriend but when we are together he finds so many excuses to touch or hold me and I feel something for him and now we are very really close to each other and things are happening but he has a girlfriend
Lizzy on May 13, 2018:
This is a tough one, most he'll do is hug me and kiss my cheek
Daniel Long (author) from All Over on May 07, 2018:
Good luck, J. I hope it goes well for you.
J on May 06, 2018:
I think he likes me! I will ask him tomorrow.
Daniel Long (author) from All Over on March 25, 2018:
Wait a minute, Lillyanna. If you’ve been together for 8 years you shouldn’t be looking at an article like this to tell if he’s still into you. This is for people who haven’t even started dating yet. After 8 years you should be comfortable enough with each other for many of these things to no longer apply. Would I get dressed up before seeing a partner of 8 years? No. We’d still get dressed up for each other sometimes, but not always. I think you should be assessing your relationship differently now.
lillyanna johnson on March 25, 2018:
ive been with my man for 8 years and I took the quiz , I don't like what I got.......tells me that my man ist really into me to more...that hurts cause im so into him still and I don't know what to do