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50 Signs a Guy Likes You

Fresh perspective on dating issues compiled in consultation with friends in North America, Australia and African nations.

Flickr CC BY 2.0

Flickr CC BY 2.0

How to Tell a Guy Is Interested in You

Perhaps there's a co-worker who has caught your eye. Or a fellow student in school with you who makes you weak in the knees every time he comes near.

You are interested in him, but how do you know if they like you? It can be embarrassing for you to ask your friends how you can tell if he's interested. If you're shy, the last thing you want is for your friends to make a fuss. Or, even worse, to approach and ask him directly.

Here's a list of the top 50 signs that a guy may be interested in you. Look over them and see if any seem familiar.

Top 50 Signs He Likes You

  1. He leans towards you whenever you are sitting close to one another.
  2. He rarely turns his back on you.
  3. He smiles a lot and looks at you keenly.
  4. He maintains eye contact with you.
  5. He finds an excuse to touch you whenever he has the chance.
  6. He might try to make you jealous by flirting with other girls who are just friends with him.
  7. He will often show interest in things you like or that matter to you. This is an attempt for him to be closer to you.
  8. If he looks away quickly when you notice he is watching you, then he is highly likely to like you.
  9. He will be nervous around you—this is especially true if you haven’t known one another for long.
  10. He will have a seemingly never-ending smile on his face whenever you are around him.
  11. He will mimic, imitate, or try to do whatever you happen to do in the way you do it.
  12. He might tease you a lot, and this can especially be a massive sign he likes you when he doesn’t tease other girls around him.
  13. He may playfully pinch your body, especially your hands and cheeks.
  14. He starts many conversations. He asks questions and is interested in talking to you.
  15. He compliments and congratulates you, even when there is nothing big you have achieved to warrant praise from him.
  16. He compliments your make-up, clothing, or fragrance. This is a way of indirectly telling you 'I like you'.
  17. He may seem jealous when you are with other guys.
  18. He develops a strong interest in your social media conversations and comments. Suddenly he is commenting or liking your Facebook status updates or retweeting the tweets you have made.
  19. He may shower you with gifts.
  20. He prefers to be near you, even when he is supposed to be busy with work or attending to another important task.
  21. You receive lots of phone calls from him. He asks how you are doing and what you are up to. Does he call you often when he has nothing important to tell you? That's a sign.
  22. He will start acting nicer and more generous when you are around him.
  23. If he willingly says yes to everything you ask him to accomplish or do, he likes you. He most likely doesn't want to disappoint you by saying no.
  24. He does not want anyone to offend or insult you in his presence. He will defend you and make sure that you are safe and sound.
  25. He always wants to hang out with you and wants to introduce you to his friends.
  26. He is less likely to allow you to return back something you have borrowed from him before. He may tell you there is no need to return it and encourage you to keep it for yourself.
  27. He may call you sweetie, honey, baby, and the like.
  28. Does he say (or behave) like he misses you when you are away from one another for some time? He likes you.
  29. He will do things to make you laugh and stay positive.
  30. He will comfort you when you are having a hard time. He is the first one to say sorry when something unfortunate happens to you.
  31. He abandons whatever he is doing in order to find time to be with you and talk to you.
  32. When you are not around, he will ask your friends for clues about where you are.
  33. He may dress to get your attention and impress you.
  34. Body language signs of attraction is a sure way of telling if a guy likes you or not. Observe his body language to tell if he likes you.
  35. He will stare at you from top to bottom. If you see him running his eyes from top to toe, he has an interest in you.
  36. He will sit next to you, lean over you, or hover close by every chance he gets.
  37. He will ask lots of questions. He wants to know more about you and your opinions on varying topics etc.
  38. He wants to be seen with you. He doesn’t feel ashamed of the two of you being seen walking together, having a conversation, or having a great time. All that matters to him is you.
  39. He may tell you that you are beautiful and sexy, even if you don't feel it.
  40. He is your best companion when you are sick or not feeling well. He visits you and spends countless hours beside you.
  41. He will offer you unnecessary help to impress you and keep you happy. In the workplace, he may undertake some of your tasks.
  42. He does things aimed at proving to you that he is the most suitable man that you will ever find in your lifetime.
  43. He may offer you financial favors.
  44. He doesn’t mind spending on you and may spend his last dollar in order to impress you.
  45. He will want to be there for important events you may be having, like graduating from college or celebrating a birthday.
  46. He will offer you support. This includes grabbing you by the hand to help you cross a busy highway.
  47. He will sacrifice his commitments to do something for you.
  48. He is generous with many nice and kind words.
  49. He will treat you better than he treats any other girl.
  50. When he starts sharing his personal secrets, you know he's definitely falling in love!

Remember to Observe Closely!

There is no exact science that will tell you if a guy likes you back or not. However, there are many signs guys display when they are interested that can help you predict (or at least give clues) as to whether he likes you or not.

That said, it is hard to determine if a guy likes you as many factors come into play. Also, the behavior that you see in a man may not necessarily mean interest. Sometimes, only one or two signs may not be enough to make a judgment. Lastly, signs of attraction or love shown by one guy may not be the same used by another.

You should study the man from as many angles as possible before deciding whether he is into you or not.

More Helpful Hints

Questions & Answers

Question: I’ve been hanging out with this guy that I’ve been interested in for a month or two now, and he’s exhibited signs that were mentioned in your article, but I’m not sure. I have his number, and we text a little, but I feel really nervous about texting him because I don't want to come off as annoying. We talk incessantly when we see each other in person, but when we text it just seems like neither of us knows what to talk about. Is this normal and what should I do next?

Answer: Texting is very popular, but many people can’t actually talk face to face. You’re one of the lucky ones! It is much better to build a relationship in person so be happy that you and your guy talk so much when you see each other.

I suggest you just use texting to arrange your next meeting, for example, when and where to meet. Leave all the important news and fun chatting to when you see each other in person.

Question: A guy always looks at me all the time. Does he like me?

Answer: This article gives you 50 signs a guy likes you. If the only sign you're getting from the guy is him looking at you, I don't think you should be getting too excited. Keep an eye out for some of the 49 other signs I've listed here.

Question: Does he like me if he calls me Princess?

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Answer: It depends on how he says it and what's going on at the time. Sure, calling a girl 'Princess' might indicate a guy likes her, But it also might be used sarcastically if the girl is acting 'precious' and being too demanding.

Take a look at how you behave and decide whether he's calling you that because he values you and thinks you're special, or if he's trying to tell you that you seem to be too demanding and not very easy to get along with.

Question: I don't know if a guy I like is really into me, but he acts awkwardly when I’m around him. He tries to make me laugh, he stares at me a lot, and he likes to be close to me. Are these signs that he likes me?

Answer: Yes, those are among the many signs I’ve listed in my article. See if you can spot any more if you’re still not sure if the guy likes you.

Question: Can a teacher like a student who is eight years younger?

Answer: I’m guessing you’re the student. I have some friends who are teachers, and every year there are students flirting with them and sometimes even declaring their ‘love.’

It is not unusual to have a crush on a hot teacher. But that’s all it can be, just a crush. Why? Because teachers can get in huge trouble if they behave inappropriately with a student. Some teachers have even gone to jail because of it.

The truth is, my teacher friends are all in happy, loving relationships and have no interest at all in students. So while you’re dreaming about your teacher, I’m guessing he’s already living a happy life.

You should be concentrating on your schoolwork. Do well and graduate. There is the slightest possibility your teacher might someday consider dating you ... but you’d have to be old enough to have graduated from school.

Eight years is a big gap when you’re just a teenager. By the time you’re in your 20s, it won’t seem so big, but you know he’ll probably be married by then if he’s not already.

I think instead of wasting your youth obsessing about an older man who is out of your reach; you should be looking at guys your age. Aim to find a boyfriend among the students, not your teachers.

Question: I have a friend and we are seatmates at school. He tells me his personal secrets and his hobbies. He keeps asking me if I know who his crush is but I’ve mentioned every girl in the school, but still the answer is no. Would it be possible that it is me?

Answer: You have a few ways you could reply to find out if you are his crush. Which option you choose will depend on whether or not you are happy to be his crush.

If you just want to be friends, you should respond in a way that gives him a chance to say, ‘No, not you’ without being too embarrassed. So if you really don’t want him to admit you’re his crush, say something like ...

‘I’m running out of ideas. I hope you’re not going to tell me it’s me!’

But if you’re happy to be his crush, you could say ....

‘About the only girl left in the whole school is me.’ Then wait and see what he says.

If you like him a lot and want him to know it, simply say ...

‘It would be nice if it was me.’

My final suggestion if you want to force him to say he has a crush on you, instead of you having to ask if it is you ...

‘If you want me to know who your crush is, you’re going to have to tell me. I’m not guessing anymore.’

Question: How do I ask someone to be my boyfriend?

Answer: There's a process to follow before you can expect someone to be your boyfriend. You have to know each other well enough to know that you actually like each other. Being a proper boyfriend or girlfriend requires an element of commitment. So I'd expect you'd have been dating for a while before asking him to be your boyfriend. In which case, just ask him.

If you haven't even gone out at all yet, just ask "Do you want to go out sometime?" That will begin the process.

Question: There is a guy nurse at my mom's nursing home. He calls me 'babe' and says, "Why are you not here more often?" Yesterday, when I was going in the elevator to see my mom on the second floor, he said, "Hold the elevator. I will go for a ride." Does this mean he likes me?

Answer: Two possible scenarios spring to my mind. One is that he likes you, yes. The other is that maybe he's bored at work and just looking for ways to amuse himself and get out of other tasks. I guess your mission will be to figure out which option is most likely.

Strike up a conversation and learn more about him. Ask him how long he's been working there and if he likes it and that kind of thing. That's a good starting point, I think. There's nothing to lose just chatting with the guy if you think he seems nice and you're interested in him.

Question: My crush asked me to dance; then he offered to play ping pong with me. Sometimes, he stares at me. What does this mean?

Answer: He obviously likes you enough to ask you to dance and play ping pong with him. That’s a good start. Talk with the guy and figure out if you get along and how much you have in common.

You don’t have to like the guy just because he shows interest in you. You’ll need to get to know him better before you decide.

Question: What do you do when a guy asks you out on a date?

Answer: You either accept his invitation, or you turn him down gently. Either way, I think you should thank him for asking you.

I believe it is appropriate to set a few guidelines when accepting a date so there’s no room for confusion later. For instance:

‘Thanks, that would be great. But you need to know I’m not interested in any kind of physical relationship right now, so I understand if you want to change your mind. But if you’re happy to go and hang out and talk and get to know each other better, I’m up for that."

If he tries to cross the non-physical line, you should confidently remind him of your agreement. But if you do want to get physical, like kissing, you’ll need to revise your rules. Otherwise, you might get stuck in the friend zone forever.

Question: What if a guy puts his arm around me guiding me out of a restaurant? Does he like me? He also called me really precious, but I don’t know if he likes me. I really like him.

Answer: Putting his arm around you to guide you from a restaurant is another excuse for touching someone we like. That’s a positive sign.

Calling you "really precious" suggests that he values you. It sounds a bit quaint and old-fashioned in a kind of sexy way. It is not a standard kind of line that rolls easily off the tongue, so I’m guessing he’s sincere.

If you also see him doing most of the things on my list, I’d say he’s definitely interested. So if you like him, I think you should cozy up.

Question: A guy I know looks at me for short periods of time in class, and he just kind of tries to make me laugh, but then again, he always tries to make anyone laugh. Does he like me?

Answer: Well, he doesn’t ‘not’ like you, or he’d probably ignore you. It sounds like he’s a friendly, outgoing kind of guy. It can be really hard to read what’s going on in that kind of guy’s head.

Don’t stress about it. Just enjoy any attention he’s giving you, and wait and see what happens in the future.

Question: What does it mean when one of my crush's friends says something in front of me, and then he says to his friend, ‘Hey if you’re going to say anything, you better say something nice’?

Answer: I’d say your crush cares about your feelings, or he’s trying to teach his friend to have good manners. Either way, he sounds like a nice guy.

Question: What does it mean if a guy makes direct eye contact and smiles at me?

Answer: Talk with the guy. You’re not going to learn anything much about each other if all you’re doing is looking and smiling.

Question: How do I tell my best guy friend that I really like him?

Answer: The simplest way is to ask, "Can I talk with you about something please?" (So he knows you’re serious and he has to pay attention.) Then say, "I really like you. Is that a problem for us?"

You can’t be positive what he’ll say, so be prepared for a further discussion that could go either way. Just in case he’s never considered dating you and is uncomfortable with the idea, be ready to deal with that.

You might need to say something like, "That’s okay, I’ll get over you. We can be just friends if that’s how it has to be."

Or if you really can’t stand the thought of him dating other girls in the future, and you don’t want to be his friend and to have to be nice to them, it might be time to start putting more distance between you and finding other friends.

But if you believe there’s real chemistry between you, give it a try. It would be a shame not to try being a couple just because you were both too afraid to raise the subject.

Question: What does it mean if a guys' face gets red when he is talking to you?

Answer: If the guy's face gets red when he is talking to you, I'm guessing he's either nervous or embarrassed. Either way, that's not a bad thing.

Don't make any comment about it because you'll only make it worse for him. I think the more time you spend talking to each other, the more comfortable he'll feel around you.

Question: I have a guy best friend. We call each other husband and wife because I said he was my husband and now he calls me his wife. But then I noticed he called me cute, and he says he misses me. Does he like me?

Answer: It certainly sounds like he likes you. He’s obviously very fond of you. But does he like you in a romantic way? It is hard to tell from a distance.

There are 50 things to look for on my list from this article. If he fits the description for the majority of them, I suspect he’s smitten.

The power of suggestion is a remarkable thing. If he’s telling you you’re cute and he misses you, maybe he’s starting to imagine you in the role of his future wife.

Or maybe he’s just a big softie. Either way, he sounds like a nice guy to be around!

Question: People always say that it looks like this boy and I are dating because of how we ‘act,’ when we’re really just friends. But then, most of his friends say that we’ll be perfect together, and he keeps denying it, but he keeps calling me pretty, beautiful, the cutest girl in the world, etc. What I don’t get is why he doesn’t want to say that in front of our friends, but when we’re alone he would say it. What does that mean?

Answer: This is a conversation you need to have with your guy. Ask him. He’s the only one who knows the answer.

If you become more affectionate in private, he may become more confident in front of his friends.

Question: I slept with a guy and after we slept together he tells me that he has a girlfriend. I met his girlfriend and things were very awkward. At first it seems as if the guy loves me. My friends think that I'm loose for sleeping with this guy...but I love him. How do I solve this? Does he love me?

Answer: What a shame you’re in such an awkward predicament. I’m guessing by now you’ve figured out you’re not really in love with the guy. You might have thought you were before, and I guess you were hoping for a love story with a happy ending, but that doesn’t sound very likely.

I sure hope you used protection. And I hope you’ve learned enough from this experience to know in the future how important it Is to talk with a guy and get to know him before sleeping with him. At least find out if he has a girlfriend or not.

A guy who cheats on his girlfriend is not a guy worth having. If he cheats on his current girlfriend, he’d probably cheat on you too even if you were his girlfriend.

Do I think he loves you? Sadly for you, no I don’t. I doubt the guy loves his girlfriend either. I suspect he’s chasing physical contact, not emotional involvement.

So I think you should view this encounter as a life lesson to help you make better decisions in the future. And I think you should tell your friends you made a mistake and will be more careful in the future. Ask your friends to help you feel better about yourself because I’m thinking you need their support right now.

Question: If a boy shoves me with his shoulder then he smiles at me, does he like me?

Answer: There are better and clearer ways of showing affection. Bumping a girl with your shoulder and grinning sounds like the kind of thing a young boy might do if he likes a girl. Yes, he may well like you, but I’d expect to see more than pushing and shoving before being convinced the boy was mature enough for any relationship.

Question: I have this guy whom l met just three weeks ago, and l like him. Until today, I thought he liked me too. We don’t talk. Actually, we have never talked. He just keeps following me. But since three days ago he is acting differently. Different as in not noticing me, and not even saying anything when we are alone. Do you think he doesn't like me?

Answer: So you met the guy three weeks ago, and he followed you around, but you’ve never actually spoken to each other, even when you were alone. Gee, that sounds awkward.

How can the guy even know if he likes you? What does he know about you? He might have been interested enough to follow you around for a few weeks, but if neither of you was brave enough even to say hello, I’m not surprised he gave up.

You’ve never talked. If you want any chance of getting to know someone, the silence needs to be broken. So if you think you like him, just say hi to the guy.

Question: Only four out of these fifty signs happened to me. Does my crush like me?

Answer: Four out of a possible fifty is not very encouraging. I think maybe you like him more than he likes you. If he doesn’t become warmer to you soon, I suggest you move on and look for another guy.

Question: During a youth trip, this boy always walked beside me and was always protecting me. He even asked why I was crying that day. He was really worried. Does he like me?

Answer: Isn't it nice to know there are nice guys in the world who make an effort to care about someone in need? He sounds like a good guy who stepped up to help you during your difficulties on the youth trip.

But I think you should be grateful for his help without expecting him to continue his kindness now the youth trip is over. Don't confuse kindness with romantic interest. I think the guy was just being kind. Good on him.

Now it is time for you to get yourself together and move on with your life on a daily basis. If that guy doesn't have a role in your daily life, you shouldn't have any expectations. Just be pleased he helped you when you needed it. But don't think that being 'needy' in a general sense is going to attract his attention. That's not what builds a romance.

Question: How do I get the phone number of a guy I like?

Answer: The best way to get the phone number of a guy you like is to ask him if he wants to swap numbers. There's no point getting his number if you're not going to use it so don't bother being sneaky about it. Otherwise, you'll just be stressing about how and when, if ever, to call it.

If you've swapped numbers, he shouldn't be surprised if you call or text. Plus he will be more likely to contact you because you offered your number to him.

Question: What does it mean if a guy says 'yes' to everything I want?

Answer: If he says ‘yes’ to everything you want, I’m guessing he’s trying very hard to make you happy. I hope you appreciate how rare that is!

Question: What does it mean when a guy you like stares at you, and when you look up, he turns red or blushes?

Answer: I’m guessing the poor guy is shy and feels embarrassed when you catch him looking at you. If you’re interested in him, you could at least start saying hi to him.

One of you has to make an effort to get a conversation started; it might as well be you.

Question: What if he is a womanizer and you have a crush on him? How will you know if he likes you?

Answer: Your question raises a few possible answers. I'm guessing you're saying you have a crush on someone but don't know if he's a womanizer. So you're wondering how to tell if any guy is a womanizer.

If that's the case, I suggest you could be asking others who know him. Has he had lots of girlfriends? Do his relationships last very long? You could also be asking him the same questions.

But maybe your question is slightly different. Perhaps you already know the guy is a womanizer but you still have a crush on him, and you're asking me how will you know if he likes you. In that case, I'd be suggesting it doesn't matter if he likes you or not. The guy is obviously trouble and destined to break your heart. So I don't think you should waste time and effort on him. Find someone else to have a crush on.

Question: If he always wants to talk to me and also always looks at me, does he like me?

Answer: From what you’ve said, I’m guessing he likes you. Otherwise, why would he bother talking to you?

If you want to go out with him, you could suggest going somewhere together. Just work it into one of your conversations.

Question: What does it mean when a guy gets close to my face and winks at me?

Answer: If that's the best the guy has to offer, I can't see why you'd bother with him. Firstly, he's not a good communicator. Why isn't he using words? Secondly, he sounds kind of creepy. Who does that kind of thing?

I think you should wait and see if he can behave like a normal human being before getting excited about spending any time at all with a guy who just gets close to your face and winks at you.

Question: What if he lives across the street and we were talking one day, and when I went to say ‘bye’, we kissed multiple times. What does that mean?

Answer: I’m not sure what it means emotionally for either of you. I do think you need to be careful though. Becoming too intimate too quickly can spoil a blossoming relationship.

I don’t know how old you are, but I hope you’re old enough to understand you don’t have to kiss a guy just because he thinks it is a good idea.

If he lives across the street, you don’t want him putting the hard word on you all the time. Make sure you’re confident to say ‘no’ ... as many times as it takes to have him treat you with respect.

I’ve known way too many guys over the years who are just racing to get physical. A kiss is nice, but the pressure to keep kissing leads to pressure to do more.

So you ask me ‘What does it mean?’ I don’t know the guy, but I suspect it means he’s just after physical contact. If he were after ‘romance’ or a proper girlfriend, I’d expect him to be treating you with respect. Asking you out, trying to be helpful, all those kind of things.

Question: Should I dump my boyfriend because he hates my best friend for no apparent reason, and she was in my life first?

Answer: Choosing between your best friend and your boyfriend should not necessarily be about who was in your life first. In many ways, it has to do with who is likely to be in your life longest.

Trust is also a factor. If your boyfriend hates your bestie for no apparent reason, you have to wonder why.

If you trust your friend and there’s no reason for your boyfriend to be acting strangely towards your friend, then yes, dump the boyfriend. Find a guy who is not so weird and controlling.

Question: If a guy I just met is giving me candy and trying to impress me, does it mean that he has feelings for me?

Answer: Maybe he likes you. Giving a box of chocolates is seen as a romantic gesture in many cultures. But just sharing a handful of sweets could indicate that he merely has a sweet tooth.

You’ll need to look for more clues than just the candy.

Question: If while playing tag a boy always tags me, does this mean he likes me?

Answer: If he keeps tagging you, he’s chasing you and touching you. But maybe you’re just easy to catch.

I don’t think you should get your hopes up just yet. See what happens in the future.

Question: What if the guy avoids me, but his friends say he likes me?

Answer: Either his friends are trying to make him uncomfortable by setting you up, or he’s too shy to approach with you.

But if you like him, why don’t you just talk to him? Preferably when his friends aren’t around, so he doesn’t have to worry about what they say.

Question: My friend gives me hints that he likes me. For example, his really good friend said to me "Go run to your boyfriend," and I was like "He’s not mine." And he said ‘That’s what he told me."

He also called me babe and said "I’m your boyfriend" under his breath. What should I do?

Answer: Set him straight. Tell him he’s your friend, not your boyfriend. Tell him you like him as a friend and not to get creepy on you, Then link arms with him and say, "Let’s go talk with our other friends and get things back to normal, okay?"

I think it is always wiser to make a quiet and smooth transition back to ‘friends’ instead of having an ugly confrontation and outright rejection.

Question: There is this boy who sits in front of me in one of my classes. He's really hot, and he called me babe and wanted me to call him babe. He also pretends not to look at me, but I can tell he is. Does this mean he likes me?

Answer: I can think of a few reasons why he did the ‘babe’ thing. He might be showing off, or he might have a bet with his friends, and maybe he actually likes you.

I think you should talk with the guy and see if he can keep a conversation going. If he’s not mature enough to do that yet, you’ll just have to busy yourself with your studies and wait until he grows up a bit. Trying to get you to call him ‘babe’ straight up does sound a bit childish. But he might someday develop a personality to match his good looks so don’t write him off forever.

Question: Is it possible for a guy to love me and not know it? if yes, how do I make him realise it?

Answer: In theory, I suppose it is possible. If you’re spending lots of time together, perhaps step back a bit and make him seek you out. See if he misses you enough to chase you.

I do struggle a bit with the idea of a guy being in love and not knowing it. Unfortunately, in my experience, it is quite common for one in a couple to be more in love and committed than the other. Those relationships tend to fizzle out sooner or later.

If you can’t get the kind of attention from him that you want, it might be time to look for a different guy. One who loves you and definitely knows it.

Question: How can I get over being nervous and panicky when I want to or when I talk to my crush?

Answer: I’ve written an article outlining what I think are the best ways to overcome shyness:

Question: I like my old classmate, but I’m not sure how he feels. I feel the chemistry, and he said he liked me, but he never really makes moves, and isn’t really a touchy-feely dude. What do you think?

Answer: If you’re a young woman and he’s a young man, you could plant a kiss on him and see if that gets his attention.

If you’re a young girl and he’s just a boy, I suggest you wait until he matures. There will be plenty of time when you’re both older.

Question: There is this guy in my church who says he likes me. He has exhibited all the signs shown in your article, but I do not like him. What should I do?

Answer: Letting someone down gently is difficult, but it is worth making an effort. Being rude or nasty to the guy who likes you just creates bad feelings and tension. Some guys react badly to rejection, but if you don't like the guy you have no option other than rejecting him. The question is 'how?' and I have a few thoughts on that.

I'll write an entire article to help you with this question as soon as I get time. When I do, I'll post a link to it at the bottom of this post here.

Question: My best friend’s brother has a crush on me, and I think I might like him back. What do I do?

Answer: I’m thinking you should probably talk with your best friend and see how she feels about it. If she’s happy about you possibly dating her brother, that’s helpful. If she’s not, you might have to decide how much you value her friendship. It could get complicated if you and her brother were to break up, for instance.

You need to decide if her brother is worth the risk to your friendship.

Question: I have been talking to a guy for two months. We have become very good friends, doing late night chit chat. He shares everything with me, like his personal problems or whatever is going on in his life. Do you think he has a crush on me?

Answer: I wish I could simply say ‘yes’, but it is more complicated than that. It sounds to me like you are friends on the internet. I’m thinking the two of you may have never met. If this is the case, the man you think you are friends with may not even really exist.

Yes, some people meet and eventually even marry after getting to know each other online. But sadly, it is more common for people to be deceived by an online ‘lover’. Old men with wives pretending to be young, single men. Sometimes even women pretending to be virile, young men. That sort of thing. It is easy to create a fantasy persona and deceive people online.

So, do I think this guy has a crush on you? No, I don’t. Not in the way two people who see each other face to face in the real world can develop a crush.

I truly believe it would be a big mistake to even consider developing any kind of online ‘romance’. It is not safe to reveal your identity, where you live or where you work to someone who is essentially a stranger. They could be stalking you and you’d never know. (Even if he’s sent you photos, they may not really be him.) And you should NEVER send intimate photos of yourself.

I understand you are enjoying the company and attention, but I fear you are walking through a minefield of potential problems. Please look in the real world for your future partner. Don’t allow yourself to develop a crush on someone you don’t really know ... and don’t allow him to develop a crush on you. Too much can go wrong.

Question: I love this guy in school. We met in the library. He is so beautiful. I love him even when he is not at school. I feel weakness in my legs. But how do I know if he loves me back?

Answer: It’s great you’ve found a guy you’re attracted to, but don’t forget you’ve only just met him. A bit early to be making declarations of love.

But, you’re excited and that’s fun ... as long as you don’t end up in tears and grieving the love that never was. Because, quite honestly, there’s not much chance a guy you’ve just met in the library will be feeling ‘in love’ with you before you’ve ever spent any time together.

You like him. Maybe he likes you. There are ways to tell, but asking me is not one of them. You’ve seen my list of ‘50 Signs a Guy Likes You’. See how many of the signs I listed can be matched with your guy.

If you can identify 30 or more of those hints when it comes to your guy, I believe you’re safe to assume he likes you. But in your case, I’m guessing you don’t know him well enough yet to know how he behaves in different situations.

So I suggest you resist the temptation to obsess about your ‘love’, and just make it your goal to get to know the hot guy a bit better before worrying about how much you like each other. Otherwise, you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.

Don’t be one of those girls who end up sobbing for weeks, claiming she’s ‘heartbroken’ about a guy she never really knew.

Feeling attracted is far more common than actuality ‘falling in love’. Attraction is part of the fun part, so don’t spoil it. Just enjoy trying to get to know him better.

Question: So there’s this guy I like, (I’m a boy), and he likes to “hit” on me. Like saying really sexual stuff and I really, really like him. Today I was drinking water and there was a small crowd. I heard his voice and I looked up and he said “making my way through the crowd” to get to ME. I said hi. And then he introduced me to the crowd as his boyfriend. And we’re not even dating! Please help me. Does he like me? Because I like him.

Answer: Either he really likes you or he’s a natural flirt who likes to be the centre of attention. Sounds like a very romantic gesture if he’s genuine. But you won’t know how sincere he is unless you perhaps have mutual friends who can offer an opinion. He sounds like fun though. Time will tell if there’s a real relationship to be had. I suggest you enjoy his company and attention, but don’t give your heart away just yet. You’re on a bit of a roller coaster ride by the sound of it.

Question: Recently a guy has been looking at me and he smiles most of the time, but he didn't ask for my friend request or even follow me. Neither has he made a move. What should I do?

Answer: You haven't said you actually like the guy, but if you do like him, then I suggest you put on your brave face and say hello to him for starters. Just chat with him briefly as you pass by and see if he responds by talking to you when he sees you as well. That's the best way to figure out if he is interested in getting to know you or not.

Face to face contact is so much better (and clearer) than a feeble friend request online. You could take forever trying to decide if he likes you, or you can start talking with him and see what happens.

Question: This boy and I used to date, but only for a day, and I’ve liked him ever since. I went out with him and my friends, and he was looking at me, and we were throwing stuff at each other, which my friend called flirting. I don’t know if he feels the same way. What should I do?

Answer: Here's what I think you should do. Keep enjoying his company, and keep flirting if it feels right. But don't make a bigger drama out of this situation than it deserves to be. Only a young person would say, "We used to date" when they only went out once. You both have a lot of changes heading your way as you age and develop, so I don't think you should spend too much effort stressing about it. Keep sight of your age and immaturity, not that it is a bad thing. Just know that you'll be an adult soon enough, and that's the time to focus on actual dating. For now, just have fun.

Question: What does it mean if my crush told me he didn't want me to keep on hurting myself, but in a nice way? He compliments my boots. He asked me if I was good, because I was crying because something personal happened?.

Answer: Your crush sounds like a nice guy. Caring and concerned. It sure sounds to me like he cares about you.

It also sounds to me like you definitely should not be hurting yourself. You want your crush to respect you, so make an effort to respect yourself. For me, it is hard to like someone when I'm busy feeling sorry for them.

We all have bad days, and of course, it is okay to cry sometimes. But don't base your friendship with this guy on him feeling sorry for you because you self-harm and cry.

I think you should put on the boots he likes and walk up to him confidently and start a conversation about something bright and happy so that he can see you at your positive best. Lift your head (and your heart) and enjoy his company. Even if it doesn't turn into a great love story, it sounds to me like your crush will be a good friend.

Question: There's a guy who is always staring at me. He once escorted me home and asked for a hug. When I hugged him he immediately kissed/smooched me twice.

I'm so confused because I once saw him with love bites but he said he's not dating.

What do I do next?

Answer: Here’s what I think you should do. Look at the evidence, and accept the guy is not really someone you can trust. So he’s not really someone you should bother dating.

Someone was obviously into him enough to give him love bites, but he didn’t acknowledge them. That’s rude.

He asked you for a hug, then moved in for kissing. Why didn’t he just ask you if you mind if he kisses you, instead of ‘tricking’ you into getting close?

And here you are now, feeling confused. So he obviously hasn’t made you feel like you’re really special and he only has eyes for you.

I think the next thing you should do is keep your distance from him, and look for / wait for a nicer guy to get involved with. I suspect the current guy will be making moves on as many girls as he can. Don’t get caught up playing his games. Just walk away from him and get on with your life!

Question: I have a boyfriend who works in an outside country, but he doesn’t text me and he gives nothing, does he love me?

Answer: Sadly, you obviously don’t think he loves you. If you believed he loves you, there’d be no need to look for ‘50 signs a guy likes you’ ... and then write to me.

Here’s what I’m thinking. If your boyfriend can’t make you feel special and loved in the early stages of your relationship, there’s not much hope he’ll make the effort in future years.

So whether he loves you or not isn’t really the main issue. Because you can’t confidently feel whatever love he might have, I believe you should dump him and look for another boyfriend.

If you are going to have a long term relationship, you need a partner who makes you feel loved and respected. This guy doesn’t do it for you so there’s no point wasting time waiting while he’s overseas. I think you should tell him it isn’t working for you and you want to break up.

© 2012 Daniel Long

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