I have been working in the Human Services field since 1996, primarily working with people with developmental disabilities.
First of all, I'd like to state that understanding whether someone likes you, like likes you, is very much different than understanding how to maintain a relationship. Though the two things are related. If you are wondering whether she likes you or not, the assumption is you like her and you want to know if the feeling is mutual. So, I'd like to state right off the bat that if you are venturing into this question of whether she likes you, some things are already established: You talk to each other, you get along, this is a person you feel like you could spend significant time with, this person is easy for you to talk to, when you are with her you are happy. You've already picked up on a certain chemistry between the two of you, something seems to click. In other words, it feels like the barrier is not there and you two connect.
But we still will often have doubts. Which is fairly natural.
Above all, I think, it will do no good to recognize signs that someone is into you but the rest isn't there. Meaning, you can't just be smart about understanding body language and other signs that she likes you and manipulate your way into getting what you want from there. You can, but the end result is meaningless and has no value and is certainly temporary; with all of the consequences, generally painful, that those "temporary gains" involve.
However, it can be helpful, when you are establishing a relationship, and you are if you spend time with someone and talk with them, to kind of understand what's going on with the other person; so that you know where you stand and where you both can go with this relationship, maybe without too much embarrassment along the way. Stuff happens. So don't sweat the small stuff, even the embarrassing missteps. It's a learning process, you do what you can in the moment.
Still, here are some clues to help you along the way.
She Points Her Feet Toward You
First of all, this is a good opportunity to discuss the issue of "how to meet women". The answer to that query is that you meet women like you generally meet anyone, doing the things you normally do often: At work, at school, somewhere where you regularly engage in a hobby or other activity.
Which brings me to how I know this old advice about her pointing her feet toward you is true. At work I'd been talking to this woman for quite some time. I knew I liked her. I was pretty sure she liked me, but I can be a little clueless so I wasn't certain. One thing I remember is that when she talked to me, she'd always face me directly, feet toward me, almost never facing away. I remember vividly when we were at the computers at the office and she was talking to me, she seemingly deliberately, though maybe not consciously, turned to face me, feet pointed toward me. It's almost like you can feel the direct connection between the two of you.
I think this is a rare thing to do. Probably not always a sign she's into you but it often is if all the other dots seem to be connecting.
Asks About and Talks About Relationship Related Things
I don't mean she talks about what to do about her boyfriend. I mean, she asks you if you are married or have a boyfriend. At the same time, she will say how nice you are. For instance, if you say you don't have a girlfriend, she might say that she's sure you should or will because you're a nice guy. This also happened to me with this particular woman at work.
Also, she might bring up something about sex.
There are implications in what she says. Of course, everyone's a little bit careful about being too forward. Being forward can sabotage things, leave you vulnerable to rejection, etc. So, we learn to be subtle and careful.
Again, be smart. Know when something is just conversation and when it is fishing. If you're paying attention, you can figure it out.
She Talks to You A Lot
To reiterate, it's not always about you. Some people are nice and just will talk to people. But then it seems she's particularly interested in you and doesn't show much interest in others. This kind of thing can be fairly obvious, though, I admit, and yes I'm one of those mostly clueless guys, it can be unclear.
It should be said that at some point you will have to clear the air and tell her what you feel and get rid of some of the guesswork. No, being sincere is not a mistake.
She Wants to Be Around You A Lot
She consistently sits near you, wants you to come out to get-togethers with her, noticeably it's mainly you who gets invited. When you are out at the club, she only wants to dance with you.
I hate to repeat myself, but it should be said that this does not always mean she's into you. She might like you as a friend and wants to invite you to her party. This, again, is fairly obvious.
However, it starts to seem more serious when every time she talks to you, she wants to see you somewhere else besides work. When she's been unable to see you, she might ask if she will ever get to see you again. She is clearly saying she wants to see you and spend a lot of time with you.
Preening and Flirting
She starts fixing and fluffing her hair. She puts her head down and looks up at you like maybe she's going to pounce. It can catch you off-guard, but, yes, she could be trying to tell you something.
She Responds to You
You are clearly jealous when she's talking to another guy. When she notices your reaction, she immediately comes over to talk to you. She may have even wanted to see if you would get jealous. Either way, she's very conscious of your response and answers it by showing she's interested in you.
In this regard, too, she will show a lot of concern for you. If someone is treating you badly, she won't like it. If you get hurt, she wants to care for you. In a sort of reverse way, she will see if you want to help her. She will talk about issues and be very interested in your take on the issues; both to show she's interested in what you're saying and to see if you care about her.
Relationships are built from the inside out. That means you can feel it. Pay attention to your feelings. How do you feel around her? Does she make you happy? Someone who doesn't like you, plain and simple, will not make you happy. You can also feel when you have made a direct connection with someone, when you can talk to that person freely and you both have regard for one another.
You know, just pay attention.
Questions & Answers
Question: how do I know if a guy likes me?
Answer: He will stare at you. He will like to talk to you. He will compliment you. He might tease you depending on his temperament. He might touch your arm or shoulder. He will pay you special attention and treat you differently than others - give you gifts, etc.
Me on February 28, 2020:
I like someone likes me now
Mason on March 15, 2018:
Hi, I think a girl likes me at school she has a little lath when we do something weird and sits right next to al the time at lunch and at break she always hangs about but we dont talk alot
peachy from Home Sweet Home on February 03, 2015:
yeah, being observant to the body language speaks itself
Nathan Bernardo (author) from California, United States of America on January 28, 2015:
You're right about the eyes, Alladream74. Thanks for stopping by.
Victor Mavedzenge from Oakland, California on January 28, 2015:
An interesting post. You can pick up a lot when you observe. One thing I know for sure is when a persons pupils dilate, then it is a good sign! They way to tell is when you think their eyes are beautiful or simply drawing attention.
Nathan Bernardo (author) from California, United States of America on December 13, 2014:
Yes, I guess it pays to be observant. Glad you stopped by, tirelesstraveler.
Judy Specht from California on December 13, 2014:
Much thought has gone into this article. I am going to have to look at where shoes are pointing the next time I talk to someone.