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How Do I Talk to My Friend's Friend?

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The author understands liking a friend of a friend can be a tough situation and is here to help!


I Like My Friend's Friend—What Should I Do?

This a fairly easy one, fellows, and you should pay attention if you want to play your cards right. Firstly, a friend of a friend already approves of you—after all, why would she be your friend’s friend if she didn’t approve of your friend? And since your friend approves of you, then certainly your friend’s friend approves of you, too. Basically, a mutual friend means that you’ve both been approved by the same person. Score!

A mutual friend also means that you probably have some things in common. This is a very valuable tool that you can use to your advantage. People are always looking to be around others that have things in common with them. And in this case, you already know you have a friend in common.

Sure, the girl you want is from your friend’s workplace, and you’re from your friend’s high school . . . but hey, you still have something in common. Having that one mutual friend also means that you have a great many chances to run into her.

So, you need to play your cards right when there’s a party/dinner afoot, and your mutual friend invites the both of you to be there. It’s also helpful if you let your friend know of your interest in the girl . . . hopefully, your friend will help you along and make “chance encounters” much easier for you.

But beware, make sure you take your friend’s opinion about the girl seriously. Listen to what your friend has to say about what the girl likes or dislikes, what turns her on and what turns her off, and anything else.


  • Talk about your mutual friend with the girl—it’s the one thing you know you have in common.
  • Tell her about funny or embarrassing stories about your mutual friend; humor is good.
  • Get her contact information directly, or you can add her via Facebook (via your mutual friend’s friends list—this is totally acceptable).
  • Bring her over some drinks during the party/gathering.
  • Introduce her to your other friends (it makes her feel like she’s already your girlfriend).


  • Follow her around the party/gathering or dominate all her time.
  • Get her contact information from your friend and then one day contact her by surprise.
  • Start telling everyone you both know that you have an interest in her.
  • Get jealous or protective if you see her chatting with other guys.

It’s easy to start getting involved in this girl’s life—since she’s your friend’s friend—but you don’t want to get involved too fast lest you risk scaring her off. For example, if you’ve added her via Facebook and she approves you as a friend, don’t start “liking” all her photos and posts just yet!

Don’t start commenting on everything she does and says . . . and definitely don’t dig up her old photos and start “liking” and commenting. You don’t want her to know that you’ve been a little peeping tom. Play it cool, let the relationship develop as a normal friendship would.

When you guys are a bit more familiar with each other (e.g., she now jokes with you and hits you when you make inappropriate comments . . . she sometimes mentions you in Facebook posts or photos), it’s time to get some alone-time with her.

At the next party or gathering that gets a bit boring, suggest that the two of you ditch it together. The party actually has to be boring, though—don’t ask her to ditch a fun party! When you guys do ditch the boring party together, make sure you actually do something fun with her.

How to Start a Conversation With a Mutual Friend

  1. When you do meet that fantastic friend-of-a-friend, make sure you act like she’s just another person who you’re meeting that night (these types of meetings are normally at parties).
  2. For the rest of the night, talk to everybody, including her. When you do talk to her, however, only talk to her for as long as she seems interested in your conversation. If she wants you to go, then go! If she wants you to stay, then stay. If someone interrupts, make sure to introduce the two of them if they don’t know each other (ask them if they’ve met).
  3. After that first night of interaction, you should have a bundle of rapport with her. If you didn’t already get her Facebook info, feel free to add her via your mutual friend’s Facebook account. If she doesn’t have a Facebook account, well, then get her phone number!
  4. Over time, like a normal person, you should interact with her more and more on a regular basis. As she sees you around more and notices you via your mutual friend’s Facebook posts, she’ll come to trust you and get used to you (girls start to like guys they’re used to).
  5. Then one day, at a boring party or gathering, you guys can ditch it together and have your own little party. Voila! Magic.
  6. If not via Step #5, you can certainly watch out for what she is interested in (via social media) and then invite her out to some event she would truly enjoy. If it’s early in the relationship, make sure there are other mutual friends around. If it’s later on, it can be just the two of you.

Well, watch what you do with this girl—the walls have ears.