He Has a Girlfriend, But Flirts With Me! What to Do If He Likes You

Updated on December 11, 2018
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Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love.

It's not unusual to develop an interest in someone who's already taken, but knowing what to do about it can be tricky—especially if they're into you too.
It's not unusual to develop an interest in someone who's already taken, but knowing what to do about it can be tricky—especially if they're into you too. | Source

Crushing on a guy who's already taken can be frustrating and confusing, especially if he's crushing on you too. If you've been left wondering why he likes you in the first place and what you're supposed to do about it, don't worry—you're not alone.

In this article, you'll find the following sections:

  • Why does he want me if he already has a girlfriend?
  • We like each other, but he's taken. Should I feel guilty?
  • What should I do if my crush has a girlfriend but flirts with me?
  • Why shouldn't I get involved with someone who's in a relationship?
  • What if I know he has a girlfriend, and I don't care?

Do these questions sound familiar? Continue scrolling for detailed answers and a clearer idea of your path moving forward.

If He Has a Girlfriend, Why Does He Want Me?

Unfortunately, just because a guy already has a partner doesn't mean he won't try to do the dirty with someone else on the side. Here are a few reasons he might be interested in you as a "side piece."

You Are Exciting Because You Are New to Him

He has a girlfriend, but he flirts with you. Why? Probably because he is bored.

Lots of times when people get bored in relationships, they start looking to branch out to someone else on the side. By all means, you could be an extremely interesting person, but when people are looking to cheat, they're usually just excited by the prospect of newness. Just because they've chosen to flirt with you doesn't necessarily mean they see you as "girlfriend material" or anything more than a booty call.

He Wants an Easy, No-Strings-Attached Fling

Speaking of booty calls . . . Most cheaters just want to hook up with someone other than their partner. They want variety. This is why a guy who has a girlfriend might flirt with you and try to get in your pants. But if his relationship is well-established, it's unlikely that he'll want to leave it, and he's probably more interested in an easy fling.

If this is okay with you and you have no qualms about helping someone cheat, then fine. However, if you have delusions that you are going to be his new girlfriend or that your connection with him comes from some kind of sense of forbidden love, then take a hard, objective look at the situation. You may not even be the only one he is playing this game with.

He's Having Relationship Troubles

If things aren't going well in his current relationship, he may get with someone else in the hopes that his girlfriend will end things for him. While this is undoubtedly a low-down, cowardly way to end a relationship, it isn't uncommon. Sadly, some guys simply find it easier to mess things up and "force" a breakup that way than just talk about why things weren't working in the first place.

He Doesn't Think He'll Get Caught

Another shady reason he might be flirting with you even though he already has a girlfriend is that he doesn't think he'll get caught. As disheartening as it is, if a guy gets into the habit of cheating and never experiences any repercussions, he may develop a "Why wouldn't I cheat?" mindset.

She Cheated On Him, First

If this guy was cheated on by his girlfriend in the past, he may feel that cheating on her is only fair or what she deserves. This one can be a little tricky because if he tells you that his girlfriend cheated on him first, you may try to convince yourself it's okay to help him cheat back.

Unsurprisingly, this isn't likely to lead to any type of healthy interaction between the two of you, so unless you're sure you'll feel no later regret about being the "other woman," you probably want to give this guy a pass and move onto greener (and less taken) pastures.

What should you do if find yourself attracted to someone who already has a partner?
What should you do if find yourself attracted to someone who already has a partner? | Source

He Likes Me, and I Like Him, But He Has a Girlfriend

Did you accidentally find yourself flirting with a guy who already has a girlfriend? Before you feel too guilty, know that this is a fairly common thing, and a bit of harmless flirting never killed anyone. As long as you don't cross the line, it's pretty normal to be occasionally interested in people who already have partners.

On the other hand, do you actually want to "cross the line" and take things further? Are you feeling guilty because he's flirting with you and clearly wants to get busy behind his girlfriend's back? And because you want to let him?

That can be a problem. Unless you're committed to becoming the other woman (and you're prepared for all that entails), it's usually best not to get involved with a guy who's already with someone else.

What Should You Do If Your Crush Has a Girlfriend, But He Flirts With You?

One of the most common things you will hear someone say when they do something they later regret is that they "didn't mean to" at the time, or it "just happened." This can certainly be the case in a situation where a guy is flirting with you, but has a girlfriend. Maybe it starts out as harmless flirting but quickly escalates to something else. How do you get what you want without being pushed into the role of "the other woman" or ending up a home-wrecker?

If the guy you like (and who likes you) has a girlfriend, and you don't know what to do about it, here are a few tips.

Make Your Stance Clear

If you tell this guy that he's wrong for flirting with you, but then you flirt back and egg him on, you'll be sending mixed signals. After giving it some thought, pick one approach and stick with it. Either it's okay for the flirting to continue, or it's not.

Again, think long and hard about this one—are you really okay with being the other woman and all that it entails? Ask yourself: "Where is this all going?" If the answer is "nowhere good," then you know what you need to do.

Be clear about your boundaries and what you don't want to do, and make sure that he knows this. Don't be coy about it, or he may keep pushing until he gets what he wants. If you just want to "see where it goes," then it will naturally go where he wants it to go. The person with the strongest agenda in the situation will usually win.

Don't Interfere With the Relationship

If you really like the guy, you may be tempted to steal him away from his girlfriend and break them up. This can set a really bad tone for the new relationship, though. It's better to let their relationship take its natural course.

If they're really on the rocks, it's only a matter of time until they break up anyway. If they aren't, then he probably has no intention of seeing you as anything more than a side piece.

Swoop In When the Dust Settles

Wait it out, and if they break up, then you can swoop in and take the guy for yourself. This is how to properly get a guy with a girlfriend—by waiting until he is naturally single.

You might not want to wait that long, but it's the only way to give yourself a clean start to the new relationship without having it be overshadowed by the drama of the old one. Even still, you may want to give it a little time before attempting to start a relationship with this guy.

Give him the time he needs to process his previous relationship. Trust me, things will get off to a much better start between the two of you if you don't rush into a relationship the day he got out of his last one.

If your (mutual) crush already has a girlfriend—and you're not content with being the other woman, and all that entails—it's best to keep things casual until they separate naturally.
If your (mutual) crush already has a girlfriend—and you're not content with being the other woman, and all that entails—it's best to keep things casual until they separate naturally. | Source

Why Not to Get Involved With Someone in a Relationship

While there are many reasons you may feel tempted to get involved with a taken man—to boost your ego or your adrenaline, among others—there are also many reasons not to. If you're the kind of person who likes to live a drama-free life, here are a few things to take into consideration before you decide to get involved with someone who's already in a relationship.

He'll Lie to You Just as Easily as He Lies to Her

Does he talk badly about his girlfriend? Does she just seem like an awful person according to what he's told you, and you can't blame him for looking elsewhere for a girl?

Well, guess what? He's still with her. Chances are, his stories are greatly exaggerated and skewed to justify what he's doing. People do this a lot when they cheat on their partners. Not only does it help them feel a bit less guilty, but it can elicit sympathy from the person they're cheating with.

If you are considering this guy as potential boyfriend material, you may want to give it some deeper thought. He's trying to seduce you when he already has a girlfriend, so who's to say he wouldn't just do the same to you if you were to get together? Wouldn't you always distrust him a little in the back of your mind? Cheating is not a good way to start a relationship.

He Doesn't Deal Well With Situations He Doesn't Like

While the prospect of a man wanting you more than he wants his current partner might feel exciting in a way, be wary of how he deals with situations he finds undesirable. You may harbor fantasies that he'll leave her to be with you and that you two will have a beautiful life together, but you are the direct evidence of his inability to deal with unpleasant situations head on. So even if the two of you were to enter into a relationship, it's highly likely that he'd fall back into the same behavior if you two were to have any problems.

Hiding an Affair Gets Old Fast

When you're seeing someone who's already in a relationship, the amount of duplicity and secretiveness can be exhausting, especially if it lasts for a long time. Having to keep your relationship a secret also deprives you of one of the sweetest parts of being in a relationship—the ability to walk proudly as a couple and enjoy yourselves without constantly worrying about being caught.

If His Girlfriend Finds Out, You Might Be in the Middle of a Dramatic Breakup

If you start flirting back and eventually get physical with him, it could very easily get back to his girlfriend. While a mature person would leave you out of it, you have no guarantee that his girlfriend is like this. You never know if you'll end up getting pulled into the middle of the drama and have to take 10 sharp, manicured nails to the face.

Is this worth it? Do you want to deal with all of the emotional turmoil of someone else's love life? Do you want to be responsible for hurting the girl you're helping him cheat on? If not, then consider passing on this guy.

Have you ever been pulled into someone else's relationship drama?

See results
If you repeatedly "steal" other women's partners, you may need to take some time alone to work on your own issues.
If you repeatedly "steal" other women's partners, you may need to take some time alone to work on your own issues. | Source

But I Want Him! I Don't Care If He Has a Girlfriend!

If you are fixated on a guy to the point where you are willing to get between him and his girlfriend and destroy the relationship, then you probably have an unhealthy attachment to him. There are plenty of guys out there who are single and will flirt with you because they want you, not just the possibility of some sneaky side action.

Don't you think you're worth more than that, anyway?

Furthermore, if you look back on past behavior and notice a pattern of "stealing" other women's boyfriends (or mate poaching), you might have some deeper emotional issues that you need to examine. If you only feel validated when you win the affection of someone else's partner, and you view love as some kind of competition, take some time to be with yourself alone; your self-esteem could use some serious work.

Have you ever "stolen" someone's partner? (Convinced a person to break up with their partner and get with you.)

See results

Questions & Answers

  • He made it clear that he and his girlfriend were having issues, but then he asked me to do "stuff." I've liked him for a really long time, and he seems pretty serious about me and not her. What should I do?

    If he's so "serious" about you, why is he with her and not you? Look, it's a common tactic for people who want to cheat to talk all about how they are having issues in their current relationship, but there's some kind of vague excuse for why they haven't broken up yet.

    Probably, if he hasn't broken up with her already, he doesn't want to. He likes her. He just wants to do "stuff," as you say, with you on the side.

    If you're cool with that, then great--but don't kid yourself. He's not "serious" about you if he's dating someone else. That's just wishful thinking.

  • What do I do if the feeling is mutual with a boy who has a girlfriend?

    Unless you want to get in the middle of it, leave him alone.

  • Why does this guy come back for more of my attention when he’s engaged already?

    Because he would like someone else on the side. This is very common. A lot of people like having multiple partners, which in our society usually means secretly cheating on the primary partner. If you don't want to help someone cheat, ignore him.

  • What do I do if a boy who has a girlfriend is persistently trying to get with me?

    Then you can persistently say no.

    Unless you would like to endure the drama of getting between two people in a relationship. In that case, do what you want.

  • What do I do if a guy tells me we're friends with benefits?

    Believe him.

© 2017 Jorge Vamos

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    • profile image

      Izzy 

      3 weeks ago

      I have a crush on a boy and we have been very close friends for a long time. Recently though he got a girlfriend who is a very very good friend of mine. I know that she has liked him for long time but honestly they don't look too close. On the other hand him and I have really cool chemistry. Everyone around us has shipped us a lot but I've always denied it because of my friends feelings for him. Maybe I am just horrible because I really want him for myself and kind of want to overlook the fact that it will break my friends heart. I just don;t know what to do because I get the feeling that he still like me. I know that he did like me like 7 years ago in 5th grade but I didn't know for a long time. I've also noticed that we are both laughing and smiling after we talk and hang out and with her he always seems tired. I don't know what to do. I feel like I should be a good friend but my heart really hurts knowing that if I just ignore it we can't be as good friends anymore. But if I give in I know that I will lose a very dear friend to me (I know I sound really dramatic). Anyways any advice would really help.

    • profile image

      4 weeks ago

      What do I do if a guy compliments me and hugs me by sliding his hands on waste try to hold my hand and ask me if I would’ve been talking to him is he wasn’t dating his girlfriend but he is cute I will admit but I know his girlfriend and only talked her a little bit last 2 years ??? I tried to avoid him but he always find a way to get at me I need help

    • profile image

      Zoey 

      7 weeks ago

      What do I do if I like a guy who my best friend also likes and he has a girlfriend

    • profile image

      Tula 

      7 weeks ago

      No one will read this. Anyways, back in 6th grade I fell in love with this guy named Hector. I loved him way to much, his friends kept on telling me that he likes me but I never understood it because he was always mean to me and only me. Than at that last week in 6th grade or something. He switched schools. I didn't kn that he did. so every day i would wear a cute outfit but not see him. All the summer in 6th grade I cried over him, I cut myself over him, he hurt me so much. anyways in 7th grade he was still gone. I got happy, forgot about him. never thought of him. Than Guess What Happens??!! He comes back in 8th grade. I see him but stupid me don't even look straight in his eyes, i wished i did because i wouldn't be hurt right now. He is dating someone much younger than me, pretty than me, and she has the iPhone 7+ while i have the iPhone 6 just 6 not + or s just 6. I'm not hurt anymore tho i think i got over it but who knows. If ur reading this i wish it was u Hector. but it anit. I feel like I still like him but he seem to not care at all n its true he doesn't. It is impossible for him to be reading this. anywho I guess losing him was actually a good thing. I just wished I wouldn't have met him because than I wouldn't have to see him choosing the wrong person over n over n over n over again. n being hurt every time I see him n her together. Bye gtg. Dont love him!!:)

    • profile image

      Makiewendy 

      2 months ago

      So me and this guy were dating for about 3months and i wasnt even serioua about our relationship and he was and we ended up breaking up now 4months later i contacted him and apologised ,now he wants us to try again something i have been hoping for cause i love him...but what breaks he is that i asked him whether he has a girlfriend and he says yes. .

      I really dont understand his intentions now

    • profile image

      confused 

      4 months ago

      ok so there is a famous flirt in my school. he's rich, tall, hot stuff, smart & friendly. but the thing is he used to flirt with many girls in the same time and whenever i call him "flirty", he was like "hey im not flirty." he even has a girlfriend and the girl is currently in the same school with us! but still, he waves, talks and flirts with me everyday. i don't wanna take part in a drama but its just that i felt distracted when he's not there with me. what shpuld i do ?

    • profile image

      melo 

      4 months ago

      I met a guy in a workshop. we both are from the same city but we met in different city. he behave and act that he is very very interested to me and we hang out alot. when we backed in our city I he told me has girlfreind but he is thinking to break up because of me! what I should do

    • profile image

      Help me plz 

      4 months ago

      I like a boy who’s in the Year above. His sister (my bff) told him I like him but then 3 days after he said yes to a girl asking him out. What should I do I’m not sure if hes going out with her to make me jealous!

    • profile image

      In need 

      5 months ago

      There’s this guy who has a girlfriend but keeps flirting with me I don’t know what to do anymore I like him but I can’t have him

    • profile image

      Shinel 

      5 months ago

      I desperately in love with the person but he have a girl

    • profile image

      help 

      6 months ago

      This guy has a girlfriend and we had sex one drunken night when he acted like they were in an open relationship. But the chemistry feels so strong. Maybe he does just want me for a side piece and I definitely don't want to partake in any of that. He keeps insinuating, keeps flirting, he keeps trying. And the feels are so intense it almost feels like torture having to conscientiously refuse him.. Is there an easy way to not feel such intense lust for someone?

    • profile image

      Preciousadesina 

      6 months ago

      What to do,when you realized that someone you have crush on has a fiance

    • profile image

      thrdjch 

      7 months ago

      so I like this guy and there is definitely major flirting and I like him a lot, but he has a girlfriend. We haven't done anything physical or inappropriate, but I still think he likes me back? What should I do? I don't want to hurt anyone, but I also want him.

    • profile image

      #confused 

      7 months ago

      So my crush likes me but the night before he was going to ask me out his ex askes him out again and he said yes to not hurt her feelings what do I do

    • profile image

      lalae 

      7 months ago

      what can you do when a guy has a grilfriend and he looks at you and you catch him seeing you and talks to you a bit ? what do i do

    • profile image

      #heartbroken 

      8 months ago

      I use to date my crush but then we broke up. He is obviously still is my crush and I though that he still likes me because he keeps on looking at me but he just asked my friend to the dance. But the thing is, is that he still keeps looking at me What does this mean and what should I do?

    • profile image

      abbygailwill 

      8 months ago

      “Help needed”, I have the same problem!!!!

    • profile image

      I don’t have a name 

      8 months ago

      So there’s this guy that I kinda liked last year then he found out and he told me at the beginning of the school year that he knew and I said I didn’t like him anymore and it was for only like 2 weeks and now he has a gf and always flirts with me like touches my thigh leg hand and and play fight and other things he used to do a lot more when we was just taking to this other girl wilhich was my friend so I tried to ignore it as much as possible but I started to like him again and now that he has that other gf now he still does stuff just not as much as hell do it one day and then the next he’ll act like he doesn’t even know me and then the next he’ll do it again and now when I see him he always stares at me and Idk what to doooo someone help me pls

    • profile image

      help needed 

      8 months ago

      I am currently seeing a guy who is in a relationship with another girl. It's a long distance relationship for 6 years and they don't talk to each other much. In fact, i have never seen him talking to her. he is always with me, or at work. And, couple of days ago, i told him that i like him because i didn't know he had a girlfriend. But, when i said i like him, he said he has a girlfriend but he likes me too. I asked him if he can break up with her, but his answer was unclear. Last night, i asked him if he really wanna be in a serious relationship with me, he said he needed time to think. And this morning, he said that he did like me and care about me, and he wanna be in a relationship with me.

      This guy treats me very nicely. He did not try to be physical with me, even though he did had couple of chances to. he said he had a girlfriend before being in a relationship with me. So, it's pretty obvious that he is not just trying to have sex with me. But, I don't know what is he trying to do. I can tell that he likes me too. But, i just am really confused.

    • profile image

      always broken 

      9 months ago

      Well I texted a guy named nick and I already knew him and he was with his friend ceaser and he has a gf and me and him slept together and I've always liked him so i was like happy and shit and somebody told his gf that we fucked and now she wanna fight... But she treats him like shit and she's always mean to him and me and ceaser still talk so what should i do i mean he's nice he respect girls he doesn't hit girls cause almost every guy i been with always hit me and i really like him what should i do ??

    • profile image

      Teah 

      9 months ago

      So I like this guy and his names lockie and he now has a girlfriend and she is my best friend.but I've noticed that he has been flirting with me. A few days ago he held my hand while my best friend was sleeping...I FEEL SO GUILTY, I don't know if he likes me or not

    • profile image

      MS. STEAL YO NIGGA 

      9 months ago

      this kid jackso is SUPER hot and he has been flirting with me and we are both dating someone else is it bad that i would break up with my boo for him?i mean i love jackson but i LOVE Konrad but jackson is so cute and funny and keeps flirting with me today he gave me a teddy bear and told me i should break up with konrad and i almost did what is wrong with me???I really want to date jackson though i mea hes funny nice smart kind..and i sort of kissed him the other day HELP!i think im cheating and so is HE!

    • profile image

      savannah 

      10 months ago

      how do a person like you

    • profile image

      someone 

      10 months ago

      I really like this guy in my 1st and 7th period but he has a girlfriend. He flirts with me a lot, one time I called him a name cause he took my phone and he Whispered me a name back and after winked at me (the whole arguement was a tease). Another time we where talking and he asked me why I wore makeup I said i don’t know and my comeback was why does your shirt look like abstract art? He said because it makes me look sexy and then after he asked me to add him on snapchat. Does he like me?

    • profile image

      Jane 

      11 months ago

      This guy at work he was sending signals that he is interested. We keep sneaking glance and smiles at each other. We would do these things in front of others and the colleagues kind of figured something is going on, But he has a gf, i don't know why he would do that in front of others knowing everyone knows he has a gf. And yes I have a bf too, so I was too guilty to take it forward even though I found him cute. So I just ignored him for a couple of days but then got back to sneaking glances, and then he came over in the pretext of work and sort of spoke to me. And then he found out That I have a bf and works at the same office, he kind of tried to stop all the signals, but he would look at me when I am not looking at him. So I didn't like him hot and cold, and I was also guilty for getting attracted to another guy so I dropped everything and ignored him completely. I guess he didn't like it, especially when He saw me around my bf, then today he got his gf to work, maybe to try and make me jealous. I don't know what's happening. If he is getting jealous does it mean he feels something real for me?

    • profile image

      hf 

      11 months ago

      This guy that I like at school. We talk everyday at scchool because i dont have a phone but when we are working on things we have these moments where we look into each others eyes for a period of time then when the moment breaks we smile and look the other way like it leaver happened. He has a girlfriend and he wants to change for her. I don't know what to do. I've tried ignoring him but for some reason i can't stop talking to him. we always have those moments and sometimes he asks why do i look at him the way i do i told him i look at everybody like that but then sometimes when i ask him why does he look at me the way he does he says that he doesn't know. Does he like me or am I being parnoid?

    • profile image

      Maria Poyul 

      12 months ago

      This guy has been flirting with me for a few weeks now. He does the whole staring in your eyes thing, he hugs me with like, passion, he looks in my eyes and just makes me feel so good. Whenever he sees me he says "Hey beautiful". When I asked him why he started talking to me out of nowhere he said that hes heard amazing things about me and wanted to see for himself. Then he said "then I found out not only are you amazing like they said, but you're the prettiest girl I've met". Then I did something, I don't know if I'll regret it or not but, today he walked up to me and shoved me and said "heyyy beautiful" and then I said "girlfriend". That's all I could say. He said "what" and I said "you...you have a girlfriend". He looked at me for a second and then I just bolted. What do I do?

    • profile image

      Ryleigh 

      12 months ago

      I was in a restaurant sitting there playing my phone like I always am every weekend, and this boy I don't even know came up with his phone and asked me my name and my grade. He says "I have a girlfriend" and I'm like "That's cool, I have a boyfriend" Then he starts talking about love and relationships! Then he tells me where he lives then he says he is going to move to my area probably and said he hopes to see me in school! Does that mean that he is into me??

    • profile image

      Kat Moura 

      12 months ago

      My best friend has a girlfriend for more than 2 years but I think he likes me. I like him too. He keeps on saying (kind of kidding, but maybe not) that we would be together if he was single. All of our friends/people who don't know us already think that, anyway. I wish I were stronger, though. Neither she nor I deserve this.

    • profile image

      Paige 

      12 months ago

      Yeah I have the same problem as you, Ally? The guy I am talking to has a girlfriend of two years and always is flirting with me

    • profile image

      Ally 

      13 months ago

      Thank you I’m just really confused he really likes me and I like him he doesn’t know what he wants but I think he should stay with his girlfriend that he’s been with for 2 years. I feel like he’s just bored of her, he enjoys my company.

    • profile image

      lina 

      13 months ago

      lol this boy kept holding my hand and touching me but has a gf

    • profile image

      Crystal Jaimes 

      13 months ago

      Hello I know a lot people are not going to like what I'm about to say......I took this guy my sister liked away we lived miserably 12yrs, I would do it again in a heart beat! I don't have heart ❤️

    • profile image

      Melissa 

      13 months ago

      I don't think stolen is the right word I'd use because a guy isn't an object.

      However, Rochelle, I know what it feels like to be on the other side. My boyfriend's coworker constantly hits on him. She'd constantly flirt and text him late at night, whenever we went away together, on special occasions like my birthday and Valentine's Day. She'd ask him for restaurant recommendations, to buy her chocolates and send snap chats of her exercising. Fortunately, my boyfriend was pretty candid and admitted that he liked the attention and in the article, it touches upon that, that it's the newness. For me, I found it extremely offensive and unwarranted because his coworker knows I exist and that I'm his girlfriend. I did confront her because I felt she did cross the line (multiple times) but, it didn't go anywhere. She somehow turned it around to be a victim. Anyways, I realize people like her are not worth the energy and really I just feel sad that she's focused on someone who is unavailable. At this point, it's been over a year and the woman does not quit. My boyfriend and I are able to talk about it and put aside because we have so many other things to talk about, and we want to do together. Our relationship has grown, we're going on trips together, we moved in together and hang out with each other's families. I think it's easy for someone like HER to fantasize and become so engrossed with someone else that she doesn't realize the other side of him when he's with his girlfriend.

    • profile image

      KIMBERLY 

      14 months ago

      I realy didnt care if he had a girlfriend if he didnt care either but then i took all the balme.

    • profile image

      Rochelle 

      15 months ago

      I have certain feelings for this guy i blush when im near him he flirts with me 24/7 and he has also done other things not like really really bad but to an exstent of bad and i really like him but his girlfriend is like kinda controling him he does what she says and i really want him i have gone as far as wanting to fight his girlfriend but shes scared what do i do

    • thehands profile imageAUTHOR

      Jorge Vamos 

      16 months ago

      Glad I could help, James!

    • profile image

      james 

      16 months ago

      this helps so much thank you

    • thehands profile imageAUTHOR

      Jorge Vamos 

      17 months ago

      Why didn't anyone tell me about the ridiculous typo I had in the first sentence? Haha, fixed it though.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      17 months ago from The Caribbean

      Great message! Someone still in a relationship is not a candidate for a relationship with someone else. End the first one, then inhale and exhale before you start the next! Thanks for sharing these reasonable insights.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      17 months ago

      I believe it comes down to one's moral compass.

      Some people truly believe if you're not married you're single.

      It's also not uncommon for teenagers and those in their early 20s to "make commitments" without knowing who (they) are let alone what they want/need in a mate for life.

      Oftentimes in their eyes it's a case of:

      "I met the right girl/guy as in (you) at the wrong time."

      However the truth is they really weren't ready to settle down to begin with. Almost everyone has dated "Ms./Mr. Right Now". Essentially their current mate is someone who they're passing the time with while they pursue other goals/priorities.

      The mistake young people in particular make is believing they have to enter into an "exclusive relationship status" in order to date someone consistently. Older folks generally have no problem making it known that they're not looking to settle down or simply want to enjoy casual dating for a while.

      If a 17 year old boy with a girlfriend is flirting with a 16 year old girl odds are he is not going to end up married to either of them!

      The reality is teens and those in their early 20s should date for "fun" and not get overly emotionally invested in anyone.

      (This is something most parents advise their teenagers.)

      Unfortunately we lack the maturity and wisdom to know that this is the period in our life when our focus should be education and establishing a career. Instead we have these pretend marriages and suffer heartaches because we had unrealistic expectations.

      Thirty year olds looks back on how they thought they met their "soul-mate" at age 17 and laugh to themselves.

      Granted the older we become we start to have a "mate selection process" that is geared towards finding a life partner or spouse. Under those circumstances we don't want someone who isn't able to commit when that is what we're looking for.

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