Keeping a Girlfriend: Giving Space in a Relationship

Updated on February 2, 2018
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Fernando has intensively studied the sociological and psychological aspects of society. He is continuing to further his undergraduate study.

So you have found yourself a woman that you like. She has most, if not all, of the characteristics that you have been looking for. Either that or she has just simply won your heart. Or maybe you've won her heart. Whatever the case, point being, you have to act in a well-mannered way. After all, if your goal is to keep the girl, you have to learn to give her space.

For most men, the bottom line is fairly simple: just leave her alone. Yes, I've said it. In fact, this is more of a common problem than most may think. So, if you're a person having trouble staying away from your loved one, it's okay because it happens to the best of us. Of course, it's always recommended to live in moderation.

Even though it's extremely tempting to be by her side every minute, don't do it. Stop texting her so much. Don't visit her so much. Don't bring her over to your house every day. Essentially, you need to revitalize every step and approach or else you'll eventually get bored of her or she'll get bored of you.

In this article, I will address certain ideas that I would like for you to think about and a few life lessons to take home with you.

Your Girlfriend: Space in a Relationship?

Giving a Girl Space in a Relationship

She may already like you but perhaps you're not giving her space. Let me go ahead and give you a few scenarios.

  • You're just meeting the girl. On the first day of meeting her, notice how there is space between you two. Both of you have the comfort zones that you would like not disrespected. Just observe. Look back and really think about it.
  • You're dating the girl. What's interesting about this scenario is how you are now seeing her regularly for dates and stuff like that. It's really important to give her space in order to not seem creepy.
  • She is living with you. If she is living with you, this is where it could get tricky. You owe her a lot of space while also understanding when she wants attention. Fortunately for a lot of adults nowadays, we have jobs. This allows a lot of space. However, it is also possible that a couple, or perhaps just her, needs more space. You want to be careful and give her what she needs.

Cool It: She Just Needs Space!

I don't know about you, but I've dated about enough to understand how crucial space really is.

  1. Space means she will stay with you. Go ahead and ruin it by annoying the crap out of her. I dare you.
  2. Space means she will grow into you. I know this is a funny way of putting it, but you have to understand that girls won't begin to like you at a deeper level if you don't give them enough space. Relationships are like plants, you see. You can put as much water as you want on the soil. However, eventually, the plant will drown if there isn't moderation. Also, you must pour the right amount of water or else you just won't catch her.

Don't Be Needy and Give Her Space in a Relationship

Gentleman, I am putting this out there again and again because you have to drill it straight into your head. She needs space. No matter what, you need to give her space in a relationship.

Even though it's very tempting to message her twice or even three times, don't do it unless you know she'll be okay with it. The last thing you will want is for a woman to think you're not cool.

A lot of men will argue,

"Who gives a shit? If she's not into me, I'll just find another. Life's too short."

The problem with this mentality is obvious. The problem isn't the girl: the problem is you.

Everyone needs space. Think about it for a second. Now, think about it again. You're a guy. She's a girl. Do what you have to do, man.

How to Give Your Girlfriend Space

Listen to her

Obviously, you don't have to ask her straight up. It's easy to notice when you are overstepping your boundaries. For example, let's say you are spending all day with her. It's so obvious that you should just chill and cool it! The funny thing about relationships is both sides if they're both sane and on the same page, will feel the same. You both need space. Maybe she needs it more. I don't care. Just pay attention to her.

If you really want to, you can bring it up to her. However, results may vary.

Don't Be Pushy

If you really want to keep her around, learn how to give space in a relationship by not being pushy about things. If she says no, she says no.

I know, I know. This is one hell of a turn when it comes to space, right?

Around 1 in 5 males, of all of the friends I have talked to, are pushy. That's a lot of people. I'm not saying this is a statistic, but out of most of my friends, if not all, I've noticed they don't know how to give a girl space. Like, chill out bro.

If she says no, she says no. Don't bring up the same thing twice. Shame on you if she says yes after the fifth. time. Shame on you.

Adapt to Her Needs

Obviously, you will need to adapt to her. Depending on the living situation and the changes, you will need to learn to change things up. You really can't be with her 24/7 so figure something out.

And for the record, pretty much anyone can get tired of constantly being with each other doing the same activity on a regular day. We all have things to do. It's at the end of a long day where you look at each other and realize how much you mean to each other.

Pay Attention to Her Life

By paying attention to what's going on around her, you know how much space she needs in a relationship. If she has a new job, she is bound to be more stressed than usual. Save it. Give her space. It's usually safer to allow her to approach you. However, depending on your confidence levels, you could easily depict when it's a good time to talk to her.

Bottom Line: Give Your Girlfriend Space

Your girlfriend deserves it. Don't overwhelm her. Whether she likes you right now or she will one day, try to understand that everything has its timing. Not everything has to be done at the moment. By allowing yourself to give the girl some god damn breathing room, you're allowing her to focus on what matters to her. Also, interestingly, you're allowing her to figure out what she really wants. If it happens to be you, the bond will become strengthened.

Everything has to happen on its own, and it starts with space in a relationship.

© 2018 Fernando Gonzalez


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