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100+ Funny Jokes to Tell Your Crush

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Funny Jokes to Tell Your Crush

Funny Jokes to Tell Your Crush

So you want to impress your crush by making him/her laugh, huh? Well, how about telling your crush the funniest jokes in existence, for starters? Here they are:

  • I’ll make you happy.
  • Imagine us being together.
  • We’re meant for each other.
  • You’re beautiful/handsome.

Okay, I’m just kidding. It’s not like I have a crush on you or anything! Just remember this: “If your crush likes you, there’s a big chance that he/she will laugh at every joke you tell.” You just have to do it!

To help you woo your crush, here’s a collection of various hilarious jokes, flirty puns, and funny pick-up lines. Now that you have this zany collection to back you up, it’s time for you to muster the courage to actually talk to your crush. Go on, I’m rooting for you!

What to Say to Make Your Crush Laugh

  • Are you getting shorter? You seem to be inching closer to my heart.
  • Are you talking to me? You’re not? Well then, please begin.
  • Are you an extraterrestrial? Because you are out of this world!
  • Aren’t you tired of running in my mind all day long?
  • Can I borrow a kiss from you? Don’t worry I’ll give it back to you with interest.
  • Did you know that the happiest place on earth is not Disneyland? It’s wherever you are!
  • Do I really need to tell you a joke? Can’t we just kiss and be done with it?
  • Do you know why I want to reshuffle the alphabet? It’s all for the sake of putting U and I together...forever.
  • Excuse me, mind telling me what time it is? I must remember the exact time I met my soul mate!
  • Here’s the deal: I will kiss you, and if you don’t like it, you can return it.
  • I don’t mind falling over if it’s you I fall for.
  • I wish I was the earth and you were the rain, so no matter what, you’d always fall for me.
  • I’m gonna call the cops on you for stealing my heart.
  • I’ve always thought happiness started with H. I just realized that all this time, it started with U.
  • If you are here, then who is running heaven?
  • Just a warning for you this Christmas. If a fat man in a red suit comes to pick you up, know that it’s because you’re on my wish list.
  • Just sell your house. You can live in my heart for free instead.
  • Let me tie your shoelaces so you won’t fall for anyone else.
  • Let’s play something, just not hide-and-seek. This is because a guy/girl like you is really hard to find.
  • My therapist and I have been trying to figure out why I seem to have lost my mind. Then I realized that it’s all your fault. I’m crazy for you!
  • My watch must be broken. Every time I’m with you, my time seems to stop.
  • Never laugh at my choices because you happen to be one of them.
  • Prepare a life vest because I might drown you with my overflowing love.
  • Scientists around the world have figured the cause of global warming. You!
  • Some people fall off horses. Some fall from chairs. For you, the best way to in love with me.
  • Something is missing in your name. My last name.
  • This is exactly how I imagined our conversation to be. It’s me doing all the talking and you just sitting there looking adorable.
  • Too many jokes going around, but I can’t be bothered right now, because you’re the only thing in my mind.
  • What good is gravity if I just keep falling for you?
  • You’re getting tall, aren’t you? Last time, you were at this height. Now, you’re on my mind.
  • You’re under arrest for being too cute!

Hilarious Jokes to Tell Your Crush

Question: Are you a booger?

Answer: Because you’re so hard to get.

Question: Are you dandruff?

Answer: Because I can’t get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.

Question: Are you my dentures?

Answer: Because I can’t smile without you.

Question: Are your parents terrorists?

Answer: Because you’re the bomb!

Question: Are you the square root of two?
Answer: Because I always feel extra irrational around you.

Question: Are you the sun?
Answer: Because my whole world revolves around you.

Question: Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Answer: Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

Question: Do you know what my clothes are made of?
Answer: Boyfriend/girlfriend material!

Question: Have you been eating sugar?
Answer: Because your smile is so sweet.

Question: What did the Aloe vera plant say to the other plant?
Answer: Aloe you vera much!

Question: What did the coffee drink say to the other coffee drink?
Answer: You mean a latte to me!

Question: What did the ghost say to its soulmate?
Answer: You are so boo-tiful to me.

Question: What did the monkey say to the banana?
Answer: I find you really a-peeling.

Question: What did the smartphone say to the WiFi router?
Answer: I’m feeling a connection between us.

Question: What did the owl say to its partner?
Answer: Owl love you for the rest of my days.

Question: What happens when two boats fall in love?
Answer: Row-mance.

Question: Why are skunks so romantic?
Answer: Because they are scent-imental creatures.


Flirty Pick-Up Lines That Can Make Your Crush Laugh

  • Are you a mouse? Because I’m the cat that keeps chasing you.
  • Are you darkness? I can’t seem to see anything but you whenever you’re around.
  • Are you oxygen? Because I’d be dead without you.
  • Am I a bad shooter? Because I keep on missing you.
  • Aside from being gorgeous all day, what else do you do in life?
  • By any chance, do you work at the zoo? Because I think you’re a keeper.
  • Could you please stop getting any hotter? You’re killing the poor thermometer!
  • Do you have any raisins? Well, how about a date?
  • For a smartphone, mine seems a bit dumb. I mean it doesn’t even know your number!
  • Google is a thing of the past. When I found you, I knew the search was over.
  • Help, I’m trying to look for my crush’s house. Can you tell me your address?
  • Is there a hole in your heart? I’ve been captured and I can’t find a way out.
  • I am deeply religious, and I know for a fact that you’re the answer to my prayers.
  • I forgot your name. Can I call you mine?
  • I have no idea how the universe will end, but I know it starts with U N I.
  • I thought it was morning already. Turns out, it was just you lighting up my world.
  • I’ve got skittles in my mouth. Wanna taste the rainbow?
  • If grapes make skin beautiful, then you must be living in a vineyard!
  • Mind if I ask if you’re a witch? That’s because your beautiful smile bewitched me.
  • May I borrow your pen? I just want to write about our future.
  • Mind if I follow you? Ever since I was a child, I’ve been told to follow my dreams.
  • No offense, but you look like a parent. The parent of my future kids.
  • Something is amiss with my phone. Could you try calling it for me to see if it rings?
  • The fact is everyone agrees you’re pretty, and I think I’m cute. The two of us would be pretty cute together!
  • Why do you look so familiar? You look like my future partner-in-life.
  • You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
  • You must be Google. All the answers I’ve been looking for, I found in you.
  • Your favorite subject must be geometry.No matter what angle you position yourself in, you’re so cute.
  • You must be a camera! Every time I see you, I just can’t help but smile.

Punny Things to Tell Your Crush

  • Are you keyboard? Because you’re my TYPE!
  • Are you a pizza? Because I have a CRUST on you.
  • Are you an angle? Because you’re ACUTE.
  • Are you Christmas? Because I wanna Merry you.
  • Are you French? Because EIFFEL for you.
  • Are you the last part of my prayers? Because AMEN love with you!
  • By any chance, are you into science? Because I think I LAB you.
  • Do you like tea? Because you’re pre-TEA cute!
  • Do you want to know what mood I’m in right now? Pizza! Well, more like I’m in the mood for a PIZZA you.
  • From now on, you can call me Shrek. That’s because I’m head OGRE heels for you!
  • Hey, do you like Star Wars? Because YODA only one for me!
  • Hi, I’m a zombie. Will you be my GHOUL-friend?
  • I like you BERRY much!
  • I like you from my head TOMATOES.
  • I’m the lock, so KEYS me now.
  • I’ve BEAN thinking about you.
  • If I was a cat, I would say you’re PURR-fect for me!
  • If I was a volcano, I would definitely LAVA you!
  • If we were birds, we’d be TWEET-hearts.
  • If we were fruits, we’d make a great PEAR!
  • Let’s go to the lab, because we have CHEMISTRY.
  • There are plenty of fruits that exist in the world, but you’re one in a MELON!
  • This might sound cheesy, but I want to tell you that you’re really GRATE!
  • Wanna be like two peas in a pod? Then PEAS be mine.
  • We must be cats, because I'm FELINE a connection between us.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock.

Who's there?


Al, who?

Al give you a kiss if you open this door!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?


Aldo, who?

Aldo anything for my crush!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?


Amish, who?

Amish you too!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?


Candice, who?

Candice be love I'm feeling right now?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?


Cynthia, who?

Cynthia you appeared in life, I’ve always liked you.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I love!

I love, who?

I love you too.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?


Juan, who?

Your only Juan. And you’re also the only Juan for me.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Kiss, who?

Kiss me!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Marry, who?

Marry me?

Knock, Knock

Who’s there?


Olive, who?

Olive you so much!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Pauline, who?

I’m Pauline madly in love with you.


Other Jokes That Can Put a Smile on Your Crush’s Face

  • Ahhh, I’m not ready to die! Please stop showing me your killer smile.
  • Am I cute enough yet, or do you need more alcoholic drinks?
  •’re so sweet. In fact, you’re giving me a toothache.
  • Did you know that many people around the world are starving? Come here, marry me so that we can feed them at our wedding reception.
  • Don’t get excited too much about other people’s love life. It will happen to you as well once you become mine.
  • Felt a bit off today. But then you came and turned me on.
  • Hate is the only thing I feel towards all the letters of the alphabet. Well, except U. Because I like U a lot!
  • How will you find the person that’s right for you if you’re not looking my way?
  • I lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you instead?
  • I sure hope that you know CPR because you’re astounding me and leaving me breathless.
  • I’m a bee. Can you be my honey?
  • I’m an addict, you’re the drug.
  • I’m not feeling myself lately. Can I feel you instead?
  • If I steal a kiss from you, would you report me to the police?
  • Kiss me if I’m wrong, but climate change isn’t real, right?
  • Please let me strip your clothes. I really want to see the angel wings you’re hiding.
  • Right now, I can’t seem to pick the right joke for you. But, what I do know is that I’m the right person for you.
  • Stop smoking! I know a better way to keep your mouth busy.
  • There’s miss world, miss universe, and miss earth. Then, there’s you...miss you!
  • Who cares that we neither have chemistry nor history? I just want to learn your anatomy.
  • You're in my heart, my mind, and my whole body. Honestly, my doctor thinks you're a parasite!
  • You must be a broom because you keep sweeping me off my feet!
  • You’re like a bank because my interest in you just keeps rising.