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A Guide to Female Body Language

Kimberly lives in the midwest with her family. She loves music, reading, and chocolate.

The majority of communication is nonverbal. Scientists say that most communication is unspoken and estimate that 55 to 80% of communication is wordless. That's why it is important to understand what body language and gestures mean so that we can interpret them correctly.

Below is a list of signs to look for to know if she is flirting with you. Of course, you have to look at body language with its context: For example, if she's playing with her hair on a windy day, you have a context clue that she's just fixing her hair. If you see one of these signs but it is not repetitive and is not combined with multiple other indicators, then she is probably not flirting. But if you observe multiple indicators in your direction, she's probably flirting with you.

Surest Signs of Flirting

Of course, there are no 100% sure signs. Every woman, face, and instance is different. However, these are the surest signs to look for.

  • She smiles often and it reaches her eyes.
  • She licks or bites her lip (but this is also a sign of hesitancy).
  • According to Psychology Today, if her gaze fixes on you for more than 3 seconds, if she leans closer while you talk, if she often laughs or giggles at what you say, and if she often nods in agreement, these might be signs she's interested in you.
  • She plays with her hair, tilts her head to the side, and moves her hair to expose her neck.

What Does It Mean When She Exposes the Nape of Her Neck?

If she is not simply trying to hear you better—and don't miss an obvious context clue here!—this is an often-seen method of flirtation. The neck is an extremely tender and vulnerable part of the body. The act of exposing it could convey some sort of active submission: "I am not a threat" and/or "I trust you not to harm me."

If she's not just trying to hear you better—don't miss an obvious context clue here!—pulling her hair back to show the nape of her neck is a common flirting move.

If she's not just trying to hear you better—don't miss an obvious context clue here!—pulling her hair back to show the nape of her neck is a common flirting move.

How Her Eyes Look When She's Flirting

  • If a woman catches your glance, holds it, and smiles, she may be interested. Especially if it happens repeatedly. She is encouraging you to speak to her with her gaze.
  • If you think she is looking at you but you are not sure, try looking at something else, like the clock. If her eyes follow your gaze to the clock, she is checking you out.
  • When she's speaking with you and looks lower on your face, between your eyes and your lips, this might be a shy flirtation.
  • If she gives you many sideways glances.
  • If her pupils are dilated (big and dark), this might indicate attention and/or arousal.
  • If both her eyebrows jump up when she sees you (called an "eyebrow flash" or "flashing"), she might be happy to see you. (But raised eyebrows can also indicate skepticism.)
  • Studies have shown that if a woman is happy to see someone, her eyes may raise quickly and then lower when that person approaches.
If a woman catches your glance, holds it, and smiles, she may be interested. Especially if it happens repeatedly.

If a woman catches your glance, holds it, and smiles, she may be interested. Especially if it happens repeatedly.

How She Flirts With Her Hair

  • Twirling hair
  • Putting her hands through her hair
  • Flipping her hair back over her shoulder

Hands

  • Exposing palms or wrists can be a sign of openness.
  • If she touches herself often—her face, her lips, her hair, the skin at the nape of her neck—this might also be a sign of receptivity.
  • If she touches you—even just lightly, anywhere, this might be a good sign.

Legs and Feet

  • If her legs are crossed and her knees face in your direction, it is a possible sign of interest.
  • If her feet point in your direction, it's a good sign. If her feet point away from you, especially if they're pointed towards the door, it's not auspicious.
If she touches herself often—her face, her lips, her hair, the skin at the nape of her neck—this might also be a sign of receptivity.

If she touches herself often—her face, her lips, her hair, the skin at the nape of her neck—this might also be a sign of receptivity.

Voice

  • If a woman laughs more in your presence than with other people, she may be interested in you.
  • If she is on the opposite side of the room and gets louder when you enter the room, she may want you to notice her.
  • If she matches her voice's speed and tone to yours, it could be a sign she's into you.

Proximity and Touch

  • Most people unconsciously recognize the space from 18 inches to 4 feet around themselves and others as "personal space." If she enters your personal space or finds a reason to touch you, she might be interested.
  • If there are people standing in a group, she might stand closest to the one she feels allegiance to.
  • If she gets close enough to you to play with your hair or your clothing, this is a very likely sign she's flirting. She is finding a reason to be close to you.
  • Turning her back on everyone else to focus on you means you are the most interesting person in the room.
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Movement and Gestures

  • If she preens, adjusting her clothes or fixing her hair, she might like you.
  • If her posture improves when you come around—if she straightens up or stands taller—she might be interested.
  • If she draws attention to her neck by moving her hair or touching her skin.
  • If she is making her way through the room gradually to be closer to you or if she seems to pop up wherever you are, then she is likely interested.
An eyeroll is a sure sign she is not amused.

An eyeroll is a sure sign she is not amused.

Signs She's Not Interested

Here are signs that she is not interested. Of course, it's the same as before: Every woman, face, and situation is different. However, here are some telling signs of displeasure, impatience, or lack of interest to look for.

Her Eyes:

  • She does not focus on you; her gaze wanders around the room while you speak.
  • She looks away quickly; she doesn't make eye contact.

Her Face:

  • She might smile, but it looks strained and does not reach her eyes.
  • Her facial features might be stiff; she might lack animation or even yawn, indicating that she is not engaged.

Hands and Legs:

  • If she keeps her hands to herself and avoids touching you.
  • If her legs are crossed and pointed away from you.

Proximity and Gestures:

  • If she leans or moves away from you or avoids your touch.
  • If she is standing with her arms crossed and turned away from you.
  • If she does not preen when you're around.

What If She Hugs You With Only One Arm?

If she hugs with one arm with her body turned away to reduce the intimacy, it might signal that this is just a friendly hug and nothing more. A pat at the end of a hug is a signal for release. It tells the other person to let go, the hug is over.

Is she flirting or not? Sometimes it's hard to tell.

Is she flirting or not? Sometimes it's hard to tell.

Signs She's Stressed

There are many signs when a woman feels stressed, threatened, insecure, uncomfortable, or anxious.

  • If she is uncomfortable, she may pull herself in to make herself smaller. Her shoulders could be slumped or drawn in and her arms might be crossed.
  • Another sign of stress or might be if her shoulders rise so her neck begins to disappear.
  • If she is holding hands with herself or interlocking her fingers, she might be trying to comfort herself.
  • A normal blink rate is 6 to 8 times per minute. If someone is stressed, they will blink more often.
  • Where the neck meets the chest there is a large dimple called the suprasternal notch. If a woman raises her hand to cover it or plays with a necklace placed in the vicinity, she is protecting herself. She could be feeling threatened, insecure, anxious, fearful, or uncomfortable.
Don't forget to look for context clues. She might be cold, she might be scared, or she might be flirting... it depends on the situation.

Don't forget to look for context clues. She might be cold, she might be scared, or she might be flirting... it depends on the situation.

For More Insight About Flirting

Visible Flirting Signals From Males and Females goes over male, female, and universal flirting techniques.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

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