Signs He Wants a Relationship

Updated on October 5, 2016
SerenityHalo profile image

Andrea loves to write about the zodiac, Myers Briggs, and texting. She is an expert on romance and relationships. She also has two cats.

You Know He Likes You...

So he likes you -- I mean, he keeps staring at you, giving you compliments, and randomly gives you hugs. For now we'll say that's enough to know that he likes you. Congrats!

But is it enough to say he wants a relationship? Not so fast. This is where things get tricky. For a number of reasons a guy will think a woman is cool, impressive, and definitely someone he wants around in his company. There's a difference however in whether he likes you and wants to pursue something or if he just likes you and that's as far as it is going.

What do you look for in a relationship?

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Signs He Wants a Relationship

1. When a guy is ready to have a relationship, he'll make special effort to be around you consistently. Being "busy" won't be an issue. He is busy, I'm sure regardless, but he'll still manage to make time for you and figure out how to bring you into his life. If he isn't seeing you in person and making that effort -- he probably isn't that interested in a relationship.

2. Questions, questions, questions, followed by more questions. A guy on the hunt for a relationship turns into a detective. He wants to know everything about you, and it can feel like he's taking notes on a crime scene. He'll ask where you live, if you have family nearby, where you work, what animals you have, etc. etc. Enjoy this stage while it lasts. He probably won't leave enough room for you to ask questions about himself. You may have to remind yourself to ask him questions, because really -- he's just a tad too focused on you to see clearly.

3. He'll make efforts to take you out and buy you dinner. Not every guy who buys you dinner wants to be in a relationship. He likely will take you out to somewhere nicer, more upscale, and will also ask you to wear something nice. Some guys are posh and like to hangout with ladies in pretty black dresses, but really? How often?

4. Speaking of wearing something nice -- if he gives you jewelry on a whim, he probably sees you as more than just some pretty girl he hangs out with. Guys don't usually splurge or take time to look at pretty or interesting jewelry.

5. Guys who seriously want to date you will do so in person... not through text, chatting, or other mediums. Including actual mediums. If he's trying to talk to you through a psychic medium, he probably is just looking for some side entertainment or sorts... or a way to get bankrupt.

6. Does he like you enough to court you? It may seem like it would be helpful to take all the initiative in a relationship yourself, but... he needs to initiate, and likely more than you do. It'll be unappealing later down the road if he can't stand up for himself. Why is this guy so gimp that he can't communicate? That's not going to be pretty later.

7. He doesn't normally talk about your body -- and if he does it's short lived and sweet like: "Those are nice earrings." "You have pretty hair." "Your smile is nice."

8. He aligns his plans with yours. Aligning plans is serious. Not aligning plans is fickle.

9. He makes time for you. Essentially time is the most valuable gift we can offer anyone -- it's more precious than your body... maybe.

10. He asks about your family and genuinely wants to meet them. That's only if they want something serious. People don't usually have an interest in other people's families.

11. He has you meet his family, his dog, his cat, his neighbor, his best friends... you get the idea, right?

12. Handwritten letters. In the day of texting, emails, and Facebook -- who has time for letters? Only people who are serious. Like family, best friends, and people who want to stare deeply into your eyes and talk to you about getting old.

13. Sudden emotional mood shifts. Unfortunately, as we grow to like someone our bodies get stressed out sending it various hormones. This should not be the only clue, but sometimes it can get nerve wrecking to have sweaty palms, butterflies in your stomach, and restless thoughts just because adrenaline takes a liking to someone. If someone is unrequited, this hazy mess is even worse because all that energy is getting pent up. Either that wall has to come down, or someone is going to run away from you so they can get rid of all these feelings that decided to build a city in their stomach.

14. Guys who want relationships often blatantly say it. They're also analyzing every move and sometimes what they're thinking just falls out of their mouth. You can really tell a lot just by listening to him.

15. If he isn't going on and on and on about other women. If he is doing that, he isn't ready to settle down.

16. Guys don't come out fresh from the womb looking for a relationship, nor do girls. You have to grow up somewhat, and that clock is different for everybody. Some people may be ready to get hitched at 21 while others are going to wait into their 40s or never. It's all different. I will say someone who is closer to 30 than 20 is probably more likely to be thinking of something serious. They've probably gotten a few things they want out of life and now feel independent enough to handle a relationship, because let me tell you... it's like handling explosive fireworks. It's going to be great -- but if you're not ready, it's a lot of harmful colorful stuff.

17. He brings you flowers. This doesn't necessarily means he wants a relationship, but it does mean he values you.

18. Before you hear "I love you." You'll hear "I miss you." It'll come out of nowhere. You may have gone on a vacation for two weeks then come back to some pottery class you've been attending... and then all of a sudden someone you've recently met there will give you sappy eyes and a, "I missed you. I thought you quit." The "I miss you" isn't near as much of the plague as "I love you" but it's endearing. We miss what we value. This person may not even know it yet -- but there's probably a spark / potential / confetti party hidden somewhere in this connection that you should consider. Especially if they gave you really big sparkly eyes.

19. They took their sweet time getting your phone number or Facebook information. Did they add you? Do they wait for an appropriate time to get your number? Did they wait a few days before messaging you so they wouldn't seem creepy? What were the first things they said?

20. He gets protective over you, and not in a misogynistic way. Misogynistic tendencies are red flags you should not ignore -- instead let those red flags guide to a place far, far away from Mr. Chauvinism. But if he is protective of you -- he'll watch to make sure you're safe. And you'll feel safe, which is one of the highest compliments to a man's integrity possible. He'll check for bad guys, but will also teach you how to use a baseball bat to knock out spiders or whatever.

And when He Doesn't Want a Relationship...?

When a guy doesn't want a relationship, he is either going to be really clear about it or will avoid the subject. You won't spend that much time with him, he won't enjoy your jokes, and he probably doesn't think about you that much. Consider whether he gives you special attention or not. If he treats you like everyone else, he probably sees you as a friend or a friendly presence.


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    • profile image

      Elizabeth 2 months ago

      He says hi to me when I go to use the bathroom in school. He sung a song for me to get my attention

    • profile image

      Clarise 7 months ago

      I would like to get your thoughts on the following:

      Me and my close male friend have been friends for the last 4 years. We get along very well and our conversations are effortless.

      He does the following for me: He carries my sports bag together with his own when going to practice; we hug when saying goodbye, sometimes accompanied with a gentle back rub; he would pick me up and drop me off when we're going somewhere; he looks at me and listens when I'm speaking; found him about three times staring in my direction with no response as to what he's thinking about; has introduced me to his best friend (guy) who also happens to be a work colleague of his and the three of us have spent time together on three different occasions; he doesn't mind spending time with my parents and sister, of course in my presence; he called me once a week for seven months whilst I was out of town where the calls lasted for approximately 90 minutes at a time; he would sometimes find my sayings very amusing; he is willing to consider my situation or suggestions and adapt to the time and place we do our activities together, all to make me feel more comfortable; when I tell him about things that I experience that is bothersome he would advise me as to what he thinks would be the best thing for me to do; when there is a function at his club he, like the rest of the people at the club, just assumes I'll be attending it with him and he straightaway pays for the both of us and lastly he lately helped me move.

      Now within the last two months I've noticed him acting more chivalrous than before I went out of town to the extent that he would let me go before him through a checkout point in-store, he would jump at the opportunity to get me a chair should there not be one immediately available for me; reserve me a chair next to him ready with a drink and would on occasions open a door for me. However during the last two months that these changes have come to the fore I have noticed woman mentioning to him that they notice he carries my sports bag for me and so forth, whereupon he responds to their remarks with "we are just good friends and that it is just being a gentleman and that he was brought up that way. However like I said earlier the changes of the last two months have not always been there from the start. It only came within the last two months since I have returned back home. Some of the people at his club have confronted me separate from him asking me what the situation with the two of us are and some even said to me that they think we should be a couple whilst others just refer to him as my husband. I must mention I have already liked him long before we even became friends as we were only acquaintances back then.

      So I would really like to get your opinion on this as I really do not know what to think anymore! Who should be the first to make their feelings known to the other person?

    • SerenityHalo profile image

      Andrea Lawrence 2 years ago from Chicago


      My best dating advice is grow a little older, get independent, and have your own 401K built up. By that point you definitely have learned yourself.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      In order for women to truly be equal to men they have to learn to focus on what it is (they) want rather than what the guy wants.

      Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Until one figures out who (they) are, what they want, and need in a mate they're likely to allow "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate their relationship choices.

      That's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

      These days it seems like everyone is obsessed with looking for "clues" instead of point blank asking the person what they're looking for at this time in their life. Once you hear it you can compare it to their deeds.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

      It's also important not get carried way during the "infatuation phase" of any {new relationship}. It usually takes 3-6 months for people to reveal their "authentic selves". In the beginning both people usually bend over backwards to "impress" the object of their affection.

      Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself!

      If something doesn't feel right to you it's probably not right for you.

      One man's opinion!:)