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Does He Like You or Does He Like Her?

Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.


You know, you've probably wondered a time or two if your guy friend likes you or some other girl. The following is a list to help you decide whether he enjoys you more or her, and what to do in those scenarios.

A (+) at the end means, you can a point.

A (-) means you lose a point.

So, let us begin with the list!

1. If he is spending more time with you than her, unless they are in a long distance relationship, that is fishy. (+)

2. If at a social gathering he spends more time with you than his girlfriend who is also there, that is also fishy. (+)

3. If he picks you over the other girl to be on his team, go to weddings, adventures, etc., then he probably likes you. (+)

4. If he makes a point to compliment you, and has never complimented the other girl, he probably likes you. (+)

5. If he knows your entire family and doesn't knows hers, he might be more connected with you. (=)

6. He spends more time texting or in phone calls with you. (+)

7. He has more photos on Instagram in relation to you. (+)

8. He has a nick name for you, and not for her. (+)

9. He attempts to touch you casually more than her. (+)

10. He brings you gifts, not her. (+)

11. On the other hand, he refers to her nonstop whenever he is around you. (-)

12. He is more intentional about planning with her and what they will do. (-)

13. He asks for your advice on what he should do to impress her. (-)

14. He says he sees you like a sister, his friend, etc. (-)

15. He takes her to weddings, prom, homecoming, any formal event. (-)

16. He has become official with her. (-)

17. He has kissed her and not you. (-)

18. If she appears, he'll make room for her to sit by him. (-)

19. His friends know who she is, they don't know who you are. (-)

20. He texts her while in conversation with you. (-)

21. He goes out of his way to help you, such as helping you move or helping you when you're sick. (+)

22. He finds a way to be connected to the same things you like and suddenly appears whether at church, a coffee shop, school, and the like. (+)

23. She has become his ex-girlfriend, and he could care less about what she is doing in her life. (+)

24. He often hangs out with her one on one. (-)

25. There's more conversations going back and forth through social media between the two. (-)

26. He stays with you when everybody else goes and does something else. He'd rather be with you than the party. (+)

27. He calls you Barbie, Cinderella, or other flattering names. The best he has for her is Velma. (+)

28. He gets jealous when guys flirt with you. (+)

29. He randomly calls or texts you without a point. (+)

30. He likes to pick you up in his car. (+)

31. He buys her a car. (-)

32. He has kids with her. (-)

33. He bought her a wedding ring. (-)

34. He doesn't respond to your phone calls or text messages anymore. (-)

35. He deleted you off Facebook. (-)

36. He makes no intention of talking to you at a social gathering. (-)

37. He tries to get you to date one of his friends. (-)

38. All his friends, and him, think you are scary. (-)

39. He proposed to the other girl. (-)

40. He asks you for help to break up with the other girl. (+)

41. The other girl is a lesbian. (+)

42. He is not dating the other girl and has been trying to date you. (+)

43. He doesn't enjoy spending time with the other girl. (+)

44. He takes you out to dinner. (+)

45. He takes you on a random vacation. (+)

46. If he is in a steady relationship, forget about him. (-)

47. If you are in a steady relationship with him, and he is cheating, forget about him. (-)

48. If you are in a steady relationship with him, and she is just a friend of his. It's probably okay. (+)

49. If he spends more time with his bros than the both of you, he might not like either of you. (-)

50. If he is really focused on his career right now, he might not like either of you. (-)

51. If he seems really annoyed whenever you are around, he probably isn't into you. (-)

52. If he asks you to go away rather frequently, he probably isn't into you. (-)

53. Does he keep saying he is busy, and then you found out he spent time with her? (-)

54. Does he seem to mention her name every five seconds? (-)

55. Did he used to date her and seem to still have feelings? (-)

56. Does he have items that belong to her at his house? (-)

57. Does he have a weird schedule where he can only see you on certain days, and the other days are a mystery? (-)

58. Does he make a big deal out of her birthday, but not yours? (-)

59. Does he listen to your concerns and is really attentive with you? (+)

60. Is he willing to do a favor that is out of his way for you? (+)


Try to add up the points and see for yourself if it seems slanted one way more so than the other. If you have 20 points for yourself, then I would say you are in pretty good shape for him liking you!

There's more than one way to skin a cat, and playing romance detective isn't necessarily something a guy wants to catch you doing (so don't let him know you're trying to figure this junk out.) The best way to really know if he likes you, is be up front and talk to him about it when the time approaches. If he is a real gentleman, he can handle that conversation without deflating the friendship you do have. If you can tell he is really hung up on the other girl, you might need a conversation though. Try to be a supportive friend, and don't get bent out of shape because he may be interested in someone else. There's lots of options out there, many prospects, many towns and cities -- so don't lose hope. Pretty much everyone on the planet can find a match, whether a good one or not is a different case, but you can surely find someone to jive with you even if for a short spell.

Sometimes, at the end of the day, he just hasn't time for you or anybody. Sometimes guys just don't know what the hell they are doing. It can be confusing interacting with the opposite gender, and sometimes the guys don't know exactly what they want, and may feel a need to talk to more girls and more girls, and more. Try not to lump too much emotion together before you've gotten into a committed relationship, but do show that you are engaging, interesting, outgoing, and open. It's a difficult dance to dance, anyone who says otherwise is just being shallow. Take it all with a grain of salt, and enjoy yourself. Love will come when it best sees fit. Don't be upset with yourself if you get rejected. Sometimes we get rejected a few times, put in the friend zone, and thrown to the wolves before someone realizes they actually like you -- also don't put too much hope in that they will and keep pestering them. That could destroy whatever friendship you have. Instead, try to be cool. Have good manners. Keep yourself clean. Enjoy what you can regardless of what people tell you. At the end of the day, do what you can to improve yourself and be happy. You'll find a good mate for yourself through building positivity around you, throughout you, down to the core of yourself. That is an irresistible charm.


Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on September 12, 2018:

Without any communication, you don't have a connection. You'll be fine whether you date this person or not, there will be someone who likes you. You should try to befriend this person and respect that they have a girlfriend, so they're not available for you.

AlanaHill56A on August 16, 2018:

plz explain to me all of this again becuase i like a guy who is a senior and has a sophomore girlfriend but i don't know what to do should i just give up or see what happens but i'm not even friends with him or haven't even talk to him this school year so i'm so confuse wtf is going on so plz tell what i need to do beucase i been trying to get advice from my girl bestfriends but they not really understanding what i'm talking about sooooo plzzzzzzzzzzzzz explainnnnnnnn tooooo meeeeeee whatttttt iiiiiiiii shouldddddd dooooo??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????//

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