Does He Like Me?
Ahh, yes. The eternal question: Does he like me? There's no way to get inside someone's head and read his thoughts, so the most accurate way to know is to ask or to be told. But there are also ways to read a guy's signals to tell if he is really into you and is someone you should pursue.
Chances are, if you're having trouble figuring it out, it might be time to either make a move or move on. It should be fairly clear if a guy likes you and pretty obvious when he's not worth your time.
Here are some important things to ask yourself in determining how he might be feeling:
- Does he seem genuinely interested in me? I'm not just talking about how hot you are. If a guy is really into you, he'll be interested in what you have to say. He'll want to know your favorite bands and movies and what you value and care about. He'll listen to you when you talk, remember what you've told him, and ask how your day was or how you're doing. All in all, he'll give you the attention you deserve.
- Does he touch me? No, I don't mean blind groping here. Does he use every opportunity to touch and be close to you? Does he tickle you, put his hand on your shoulder, nudge you and hug you? If so, chances are he's attracted to you.
- Does he tease me? Lots of playful teasing can be an indicator of a guy's infatuation. You know how little boys pull girl's pigtails? It's the same story, even when he's older. If he's teasing you (and it's good teasing and not harassment), he wants to get a response from you. He enjoys playing with and probably likes you.
- Does he make me feel good about myself? If he's always complimenting you ("You look really nice today"), cutting you slack ("Hey, don't worry about it"), and doing nice things for you, he's a guy who cares and wants you to like him. Above all, he should be a good friend to you, someone that treats you respect and makes you happy.
- Is he there for me when I need him? A guy that cares about you will be there for you. Period. If you're having a rough day, he'll want to cheer you up. If someone made you upset, he'll want to comfort you. He'll keep to his word and show up when he says he will.
- Does he stare at me? If you catch him staring, he's fixated on you.
Seven Signs a Guy Likes You
Land Mines: Guys to Avoid
There are also some strong warning signs when a guy is either into you for the wrong reasons (he just wants to have sex with you) or isn't interested at all. I call these guys wastes of time. It's one thing if he is a good friend to you but doesn't have feelings and is honest about it, but it's another if he one day stops talking to you, avoids you, and basically makes you feel like dirt.
Watch out for these signs:
- His reason for ignoring you/blowing you off is "I've been busy." Yeah, right. We all have things that keep us busy. Obviously he won't be texting you a mile a minute while he's cramming for an exam or doing double shifts at work. But a guy that likes you will find the time to contact you. Why? Because talking to you is something he looks forward to, something that brightens his day. And if he can't even communicate with you or spend five seconds sending you a text message, let's face it: He's not worth your time.
- He's inconsistent. One minute, it feels like he's all over you and you're giddy with happiness, and the next, he's totally ignoring you. What gives? Whatever his excuse, it's not a good one because a guy that fluctuates in his actions will not make for a stable relationship. And you don't need someone in your life who only pays attention to you 50 percent of the time.
- He pressures you to have sex. There's nothing wrong with sex, but if that's all your guy can talk about or suggest to you, he won't be anything more than a random hookup that will fizzle and die.
- He talks about other girls all the time. Do you really want a boyfriend who always updates you on the latest hottie he spotted? I didn't think so. If he's talking up other girls, either he's not into you like that but feels comfortable talking to you, or he's being immature and trying to make you jealous. Either way: Forget him unless he focuses on you.
Remember that every guy is different, and some guys really are just shy and need a little encouragement from you. There's no guaranteed way of finding out someone's feelings. For best results, you can simply tell him how you feel. But remember, this guy should be someone who makes you happy and treats you like a good friend. And if he doesn't have feelings, don't take it personally. Go find the guy who does and will treat you like a queen.
Three Types of Guys You Should Avoid
Keeley on October 07, 2018:
This guy named Robert almost every day he gets close to me and pokes me in the hips and It tickles me he makes a funny sound and he smiles
haley on September 09, 2014:
Ok so i slow danced with this guy and we had a lot of fun and while we danced he sayed he didn't have a gf and he couldn't resist dancing with me instead of the other girl but after that he wouldn't dance with me anymore but sayed he was sorry and we haven't talked since but i realllly like him what do i do to get his attention?!?!
Slims on May 22, 2014:
I have been dating a guy 8 years younger than me, for 2 years n half he's in my home country n I lives in NY we saw each other maybe 5 times I visited I am a single mom of 3 teens. I am the one does most of the talkin, he never talk about a future I'm the one kept askin him about his future n he never talk but only wants a happy n simply future. He is scared to let his fam n frends knos abt him have a relationship n we only goes out nites wen I visit him jus to have a lil dinner n sex I love him n I truly wants a life future wit him but all we do is text n I am the one who will call n shows interest, wat do u think I should do? We broke up many times n I'm the one to be the first to text him. I need some advises. Months would pass n he would not even call not for my bday nor any other occasion .
kim on March 25, 2014:
Hi i have been dating a guy .. Last night i had "the talk" and now his been all weird with me and he said he usually walks off when a girl trys to rush things. He said hes happy with what has and he likes me more then friends but he doesn't no what he wants and doesn't wanna rush anything. And he does work most of the time so i don't see him all the time but he rings and text's me. I think I've scared him alittle bit . I am a single mum as well and i am worried im gonna get hurt again. But saying to me go with the flow isn't helping me. Shall i give him time ?
shanice nesbitt on January 30, 2014:
Imet a guy we started a relationship and he started too get shaddey about stuff ithink hes affaid of being in a full time relationship as itold him im a wifey type and hes the shy type but guest he hangs around hes friends a lot he never made time for me he said he just wanted to be friends becuz he don't have feels for me as we started n thee relationship but hes is seeing someoneelse ireally don't care but its like he has werido vibe too him he don't wanna go too college he don't wanna do nun but work a parttime job for now its ik that you have a job but you claim you wanna do sum but you don't wanna work towads it. Imean why waist your mind. Ifeel that im done now as itold him every start of a realationship is new and wen u get too know ppl is thee start ifeel that he wanted too date someone else cuz he felt that it will be different.
brittany on January 26, 2014:
Does this count he says ( i'll forgive u if u become my Juliet) cuse my best friend wants to know ? And I don't know what to say I always had the same bf all my life what should I tell her?
Amesis Ebe on December 29, 2013:
First off, Gabrielle, if he is complimenting you, it is not considered teasing. He most likely does have a slight crush on you. Good luck! And, Jpanaro982, he is totally into you! He is listening to what you say, he doesn't leave your side, and he takes interest in your interests. You go girl!
Jennifer Panaro from Eastchester on October 09, 2013:
Good to know. I have this friend and when we were out at a bar one night he stood by my side the whole time even when other girls came up to him. He was polite but paid attention to me. His friend walked away so we could talk. He listens to everything I say and takes an interest in my interest. One day he let his friend walk ahead so he could say hi to me. We have known each other for years. Is he starting to have the same feelings I have had for a long time?
Gabrielle on October 06, 2013:
Well there's one guy that sometime says something like your T-shirt is nice,you play piano nice,you'r scarf is cute....but does that means he really think that or he just teases me(he is saying that with very calm voice)
niyale on December 29, 2012:
Danielle on July 27, 2012:
I think this guy is into me I am so happy. ;)
Tash on May 23, 2012:
Well I have been talking to this guys for about 7 months we are friends with benfits.I told him that I liked him more then that and I asked him how he felt about it and he just stopped texting me but yet he still text me just to talk..but when I start talking about that again he stops texting again. I don't know what to do
cho on May 09, 2012:
well, there is this guy in class. We don't share any close friends kinda rapport currently or previously, but yeah he speaks/smiles 'only' to me in class. We speak of things concerned to notes and college. Nothing more. but yeah he smiles at me when ever we meet(inspite of other gals being with me, only i get a hello greeting). He is a very well behaved, decent, good natured guy. Off late i have seen him staring at me during class hours. but when I speak to him after classes, he is totally different. his response will be so different that i actually get confused with his mood shifts or whatever its called. My friends think that he likes me but shy to confront it. a few others tease us too. but i really don't think he does. The other day during a college fest i was full time watching him! and saw him staring at me as well. And due to this teasing thing I've taken a strange liking towards him. I'm totally confused with his behavior. One of his group friends is my good friend. I can't ask this mutual friend what it is.. but, how do i know what he is really up to? why cant he just speak his heart out..?
Risha on April 26, 2012:
I'm in that dilemma sort of to. I like this guy ever since I met him. But he gives me a weird vibe. He first be sweet and kind then I feel like I'm annoying him but he won't say it he just ignores one time after an exam I told if he will go drink you know to clear his mind I wasn't asking him to get one I was asking him if he is because usually smokes between breaks and since class was over I assumed he was then after I felt worst thinking i offended. Then after a while he becomes normal while I felt worst. I know I shouldn't like someone who smokes but when I started liking him I didn't know and after I didn't care. He always asks if I need a ride and this week he asked if I'm gonna be ok waiting by myself? He makes feel happy and without telling him he brights up my day. He always say hi n bye whether I talk to him or not. I feel ignored and annoying to him so I don't talk to him after because I don't want to hurt him or vise versa. Also we glance at each other as well. Even our friends leaves alone. Which makes me unconfortable. But he is a good guy I just think I'm gonna stay friends with him because I really don't know and I think I shouldn't even think like that of him since he is a good friend of mine n he like a homie to me to who I normally talk to. I'm comfortable with him but I feel weird when friends make it obvious Idk what to do. N I highly doubt he even thinks like that. I think he likes someone else. But idk.
confusedchic on April 18, 2012:
How do you know if a guy is only texting you back to be nice or if he does like you ?
Nkulie on April 07, 2012:
I met this guy a few months ago, I like him, he's been calling me ever since we meat, for the past few days he stoped calling me, should I call hm or jst let it be
Smangele on April 02, 2012:
I thnk dat u need 2 thnk 4 urself as a woman and nt let sme man treat u lyk dirt
PROPHET OF GODDESS on March 30, 2012:
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sarah on March 26, 2012:
I really like this guy... After my last break up.I met this guy who seemed so into me he made me feel so good about myself. I have two kids from two failed relationship I don't know if he his scared or what but after we slept together it seems that only when he wants sex he calls me and I am dumb enough to sleep with him I don't know what to do I really like him
POM on March 25, 2012:
Dump him! If you want a serious relationship a friends with benefits does not turn into one.
Anne on March 20, 2012:
I'm in a Friends with benefits situation.I want more he knows this but still wants to meet up for sex.I don't know what to do?
Sarah'sdog on August 26, 2011:
What he does for you, all good friends would do. I would stay cautious, b/c maybe he might be using you, or maybe he is taking refuge from other girls, I don't know. If you think you can handle it, tell him how you feel. If he does the negative stuff, then you get the all clear to break up.
geeni on October 27, 2010:
i have a question... i read your article and its left me wondering about my bf. the good things about my bf is that he always texts me at least to see what im doing or hows my day.. whenever i am short in money i know for a fact he has my back.. if i even state i don't have food in my frig hes out buying groceries. on special occations hes very thoughtful and puts a lot of effort in making me feel special.. for example my bday.. he threw a surprise party.. and bought me the cake my mom buys used to buy me evry year..which ment the world to me because shes not around any more. i like how hes jealous and would flip if another man talks to me.. makes me feel as if he wants me all for himself.. but the issue.. is.. that he doesn't know how to deal with me whenever i am sad.. he just stays quite and doesn't sympathize with me.. is it because he doesn't know what it feels like. or that he doesn't care.. sometimes i just think he doesn't care. and if he disrespects me or does something out of line.. and were talking on the phone about it... hes usually very ignorant to what i am saying.. and thinks hes done nothing wrong.. no matter what the issue maybe.. and our conversation usually ends because he wants to just stop talking.. but threw out the conversation he wouldn't have said not one word to reconstruct our relationship.. i tell him all the time.. during fights when hes wrong... he only opens his mouth to say negative things... like ur annoying, i want to hang up..ect.. or he just stays quite. its so hard for him to just be like im sorry your right.. and for us to go from there. then i also have an issue with.. we barely spend time together.. i see him mayb once or twice a week.. and on his only days off.. he will just be doing something else. and i feel like he just doesn't care.. because if he did wouldn't he be wanting to be with me all the time..?and hes not the type to just hug u or show u attention or affection.. but he loves to receive it. so me giving giving and giving love and not feeling loved in return drives me crazy and we argue all the time about it and he swears up and down that he loves me and that he wants to be with me.. i don't know what to do or think.. am i wrong? what do u think?