I love giving advice to others on how to develop their personal relationships.
Does He Like Me?
Ahh, yes. The eternal question: Does he like me? There's no way to get inside someone's head and read his thoughts, so the most accurate way to know is to ask or to be told. But there are also ways to read a guy's signals to tell if he is really into you and is someone you should pursue.
Chances are, if you're having trouble figuring it out, it might be time to either make a move or move on. It should be fairly clear if a guy likes you and pretty obvious when he's not worth your time.
Here are some important things to ask yourself in determining how he might be feeling:
- Does he seem genuinely interested in me? I'm not just talking about how hot you are. If a guy is really into you, he'll be interested in what you have to say. He'll want to know your favorite bands and movies are. He wants to know what you value and care about. He'll listen to you when you talk, remember what you've told him, and ask how your day was or how you're doing. All in all, he'll give you the attention you deserve.
- Does he touch me? No, I don't mean blind groping here. Does he use every opportunity to touch and be close to you? Does he tickle you, put his hand on your shoulder, nudge you, and hug you? If so, chances are he's attracted to you.
- Does he tease me? Lots of playful teasing can be an indicator of a guy's infatuation. You know how little boys pull girl's pigtails? It's the same story, even when he's older. If he's teasing you (and it's good teasing and not harassment), he wants to get a response from you. He enjoys playing with and probably likes you.
- Does he make me feel good about myself? If he's always complimenting you ("You look really nice today"), cutting you slack ("Hey, don't worry about it"), and doing nice things for you, he's a guy who cares and wants you to like him. Above all, he should be a good friend to you, someone that treats you respectfully and makes you happy.
- Is he there for me when I need him? A guy that cares about you will be there for you. Period. If you're having a rough day, he'll want to cheer you up. If someone made you upset, he'll want to comfort you. He'll keep to his word and show up when he says he will.
- Does he stare at me? If you catch him staring, he's fixated on you.
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There are also some strong warning signs when a guy is either into you for the wrong reasons (he just wants to have sex with you) or isn't interested at all. I call these guys wastes of time. It's one thing if he is a good friend to you but doesn't have feelings and is honest about it, but it's another if he one day stops talking to you, avoids you, and basically makes you feel like dirt.
Watch out for these signs:
- His reason for ignoring you/blowing you off is "I've been busy." Yeah, right. We all have things that keep us busy. Obviously he won't be texting you a mile a minute while he's cramming for an exam or doing double shifts at work. But a guy that likes you will find the time to contact you. Why? Because talking to you is something he looks forward to, something that brightens his day. And if he can't even communicate with you or spend five seconds sending you a text message, let's face it: He's not worth your time.
- He's inconsistent. One minute, it feels like he's all over you and you're giddy with happiness, and the next, he's totally ignoring you. What gives? Whatever his excuse, it's not a good one because a guy that fluctuates in his actions will not make for a stable relationship. And you don't need someone in your life who only pays attention to you 50 percent of the time.
- He pressures you to have sex. There's nothing wrong with sex, but if that's all your guy can talk about or suggest to you, he won't be anything more than a random hookup that will fizzle and die.
- He talks about other girls all the time. Do you really want a boyfriend who always updates you on the latest hottie he spotted? I didn't think so. If he's talking up other girls, either he's not into you like that but feels comfortable talking to you, or he's being immature and trying to make you jealous. Either way, forget him unless he focuses on you.
Remember that every guy is different, and some guys really are just shy and need a little encouragement from you. There's no guaranteed way of finding out someone's feelings. For best results, you can simply tell him how you feel. But remember, this guy should be someone who makes you happy and treats you like a good friend. And if he doesn't have feelings, don't take it personally. Go find the guy who does and will treat you like a queen.