Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. Let his trial and error be your success (hopefully).
Signs He Has a Girlfriend
Have you been talking to a guy, and you think that you might be falling for him? Does it seem like the two of you are a perfect match . . . except for the fact that he might have a girlfriend?
Sometimes when a guy likes you, he'll avoid admitting that he's already taken, even though this is a crucial bit of information. Don't play dumb and turn a blind eye to this game. You should know the truth before you start anything serious with him, so look for these signs that he has a girlfriend:
How to Know if a Guy Has a Girlfriend: 7 Signs He's Taken
- There Are Women's Items Around His House
- He Won't Introduce You to His Friends or Family
- He Refuses to Label Your Relationship or Interactions
- He Seems Busy All the Time
- He Rushes You Out the Door
- His Relationship Status Is Missing on Facebook
- He Won't Take Pictures With You
Sign #1: There Are Women's Items Around His House
Let's say you visit the guy at his house and notice flowery body wash in his shower. Unless he likes to smell like mango-passion-fruit-wildflower-mist, chances are high that he has a woman regularly hanging around his place. That woman is probably his girlfriend.
Now, this could be his sister or a female roommate, but if he seems to live alone and no one else is around when you are, consider it a red flag that he's already taken.
It's even more of a red flag is if he doesn't allow you over to his house at all and only wants to meet up at your place. He could be living with a girlfriend but doesn't want her to know that he's chatting up another woman.
Sign #2: He Won't Introduce You to His Friends or Family
It's hard to casually see another woman on the side in secret if he mixes her up with his friends and family. It would be bound to get back to his girlfriend.
It is true that some guys just aren't close to their families, so he wouldn't think to introduce you. Another possibility is that your budding relationship is not very serious yet, and he doesn't want you to meet his family so soon.
Still, if he seems to actively avoid his friends when he's with you like he's afraid that they'll find out what's going on, be suspicious. A little mystery is good, but too much is a bad sign.
Sign #3: He Refuses to Label Your Relationship or Interactions
Some guys just don't like commitment or genuinely are opposed to labeling all relationships. If he seems like that kind of guy, then consider this particular sign in context.
In most cases, though, it's a little weird if a guy has been seeing you for a while and doesn't want to at least establish that you're "dating." If he avoids any discussion about your relationship and what it means, he might already be in one.
Sign #4: He Seems Busy All the Time
Is it hard to get a hold of him? Does he go completely silent after a certain hour and never answers your texts on certain days? Does he always seem busy with something important, and you can never quite get him to tell you what it is?
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That "important thing" might just be his girlfriend. If he seems especially unavailable in the evenings and during the weekend, he may even be living with her. While it's not a good idea to just drop by his place unannounced, you might try asking him about where he was next time he disappears. If he can't give you a straight answer, he's probably hiding something.
Sign #5: He Rushes You Out the Door
Whenever you visit his place—or even a popular spot in your town—does he always seem a little anxious? Does he rush you out the door when your date is over?
Sure, he could just like his alone time. On the other hand, he could be afraid that he'll get caught with you. This is especially troubling if he told you that he lives alone, and yet he only allows you to come over during certain times and always seems to push you to leave. In addition, if he never lets you sleep over, there's probably some reason why.
Sign #6: His Relationship Status Is Missing on Facebook
Have you noticed that he has no relationship status on Facebook? Many single guys specify that they are single, so why doesn't he?
It might be because he's in a relationship with someone already. Further, he might have privacy settings that hide his status from you and other people. Be extra suspicious if his profile seems really sparse and there are only a few pictures of him by himself with little else. Try doing a little digging and see if he has a second Facebook profile that he didn't show you.
If you find out that he has another Facebook profile and that this profile has a lot more friends and contains many pictures of him with a woman, then he almost certainly has a girlfriend. He added you on his "fake" profile, the one he's using to sneak around.
Sign #7: He Won't Take Pictures With You
Does he refuse to take cute selfies with you? Most single guys would be thrilled to parade the attention that they get from a woman on social media—so why is he so skittish about taking pictures with you?
It could be that he doesn't want those pictures to end up on Facebook where his girlfriend could eventually see them. Even just a single mutual friend noticing the pictures and alerting his girl could be enough to undo his main relationship.
What to Do When Your Find Out He Has a Girlfriend
So, you're "the other woman" after all. What do you do now?
It really depends on how you feel about the situation. Some people have no qualms helping a guy cheat on his partner. If this is you, then let him know that you don't have a problem with it and that he can be honest about his two-timing ways.
Be warned, though, that this isn't the greatest way to build a romantic relationship with someone. Cheating and lying aren't a very good foundation for love, and if he ends up dumping his girl and making you his main squeeze, who is to say he won't do the same thing to you once he's bored?
If you're like most people and don't condone cheating, though, you'll probably want to back off. Tell him that you know he has a girlfriend and break it off with him immediately. Don't listen to his excuses; he's a dishonest guy who is not worth your time.
Now the question is: Do you tell his girlfriend?
Again, this is up to you. If you feel that she's more likely to respond with violence instead of gratitude, you're not obligated to tell her what he's been doing. Some people tend to blame the problem on "the other woman" and might see you as some kind of man-stealing seductress, unfortunately. On the other hand, if it was you, wouldn't you want to know that your boyfriend was cheating?
Every situation is different, so use your judgment. If you really don't want to confront her, consider sending her an anonymous message on social media. She may not believe you, but at least you did what you could to tip her off.
© 2017 Jorge Vamos