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Advice on Dating: Does She Like Me? - How to Know If She's Interested

Eric Standridge offers relationship tips and tricks based on personal experience from the perspective of a former shy guy.

Does She Like Me, or Is It an Illusion?

For men, understanding women is like trying to bench press a hippo; it's almost impossible. Women are a mystery to the male mind, an enigma that our rational minds must solve.

Unfortunately, that will never happen. It is an enigma that will remain as long as the human race remains. Women will always remain a mystery, and men will always stand around scratching their heads trying to figure them out. Men will always be asking that age old question, "Does she like me, or is it all in my mind?"

Even though that may be the case, there are still a number of signs that women display to show us bewildered men that she's interested.

According to psychologist Albert Mehrabian in a discussion on ways people are attracted to one another, verbal responses account for 7% of that attraction, tone of voice accounts for 38%, and body language accounts for 55%.

In other words, don't rely only on what a woman is saying to know if she's into you or not. Listen to the tone of her voice, and more importantly, pay close attention to her reactions.

The following points highlight the key areas to watch for and will explain briefly why they are important.

Advice on Dating: Does she like me? - How to know if she's interested

Advice on Dating: Does she like me? - How to know if she's interested

Advice on Dating: The Top Signs that Show She's Interested

  • She shows it through her body language. Positive body language is a strong indicator that she's into you. If she likes you, she'll show it through the way she acts and through how she positions her body when she's with you. Eye contact, gently leaning in towards you when you talk, playing with her hair, touching her face; these are the types of things that she'll do when she's interested.
  • She listens to you and asks questions. In her eyes, you stand out from the crowd. You have something interesting to say, and she's hooked. By itself, this doesn't indicate that she's attracted to you in a romantic way, it only means that she's highly interested in you as a person. Remember, all of these things go together. She has to be interested in you as a person in order for her to be attracted to you romantically.
  • She's relaxed/She stands close to you. This means she trusts you.She isn't afraid to be herself around you. Through your actions and your body language, you've made her feel valued as a human being, and not just as a one night stand.
  • She playfully hits you or touches you. This is called flirting. Most people have a natural desire to keep others out of their personal space. You know how it is; how many times have you felt uncomfortable when a strange person gets too close to you? We only let those in who we are more comfortable with. When a woman is attracted to you, she feels comfortable enough with you that she'll initiate moving into your space, or she'll allow you into hers.
  • She giggles. Typically, giggling is a mixture of attraction and nervousness. When a woman laughs, it means that she has found something funny to laugh at. When she giggles, it's more personal, more in depth; it's like she's released her inner child for a brief moment. She's a little nervous, a little shy, but not so much that it incapacitates her. She finds you attractive and can respect your sense of humor.
  • She playfully calls you names. She's teasing you. When a woman calls you crazy, or silly, or funny, or even cute, there's a good chance she's into you. It's the same way we used to play as children: running around the playground, catching cooties from the girls, poking fun at them because we secretly like them. The adult world really isn't that different. Only this time, we want to catch cooties.
  • She's available. If a woman is interested in you, she will make herself available. In other words, she'll give you her phone number or email address, and will quickly rush to answer or return your call. When you offer her an opportunity to hang out with you, she will just as quickly accept - even if she already had plans. If she couldn't break those plans, then she'll offer another day in exchange.
  • She keeps "popping up". So maybe you're wondering whether someone you've known for awhile is interested. In addition to the above points, this woman will keep "popping up" everywhere you go. Unless you're on a college campus, or live in a very small town, this generally doesn't happen that often. Occasionally, it does, but if she maneuvers her way through a crowd just to be close to you, or finds out that you're going to the pool hall and shows up exactly the same time you do, there's a good chance she's into you.
  • She gives you her number or asks you to hang out. The only reason a woman would either give you her phone number, email or other contact information is because she wants future contact with you. A woman would not ask you to 'hang out' if she wasn't attracted to you in some way. I would be remiss in pointing this out, but it always surprises me how many people miss this.
Advice on Dating: Does she like me? - How to know if she's interested

Advice on Dating: Does she like me? - How to know if she's interested

The Enigma of Women: No Two Are Alike

The tips presented here are worthless. That's right, the advice here is just about as worthless as a plot in a porno. Sure, there may be some truth in the statements above, but relying on those things alone is no guarantee that she's attracted to you. Instead of asking, "Does she like me?", start focusing on having fun and let the rest fall where it will.

All women are different. Each individual has different ways of showing that they are interested. There is no magical formula that will ever tell you for certain if a woman is interested in you or not. If anyone ever tells you any different, they're lying. As with most things in life, you simply have to rely on your gut instinct. If you think she's interested then ask her out.

Occasionally, you will get rejected. This is normal, and, in fact, expected. At the same time, remember that if she turns you down then you two would have never made a good match anyway. Move on, and keep dating until you find the woman who completes you.

As always, I wish you the best.

Questions & Answers

Question: I need your honest opinion to know if this girl really loves me or not. Earlier today she said she's going to prom with her sis. I don't know if I should believe that or not since I'm her boyfriend. She never lets me hang out, never lets me hang around her family and she thinks that our love is a secret. Should love be a secret or is there something that's being hidden from me? What should I do?

Answer: A few points:

1. She doesn't love you. If you're prom age, it's not love, it would be infatuation. Love doesn't (typically) happen over night, especially if you are having doubts.

2. Why are you dating someone you can't trust? If she says she's going to prom with her sister and you think she may not be telling the truth, it's time to move on. That's not good in any relationship - unless you're just out for a good time.

3. She never lets you hang out, be with her family, and that your affections should be kept in secret. What is she hiding? Why doesn't she want people to know that you are together? If someone genuinely likes you, they're going to want to be with you and to "show" you off. There's a problem here.

The simple answer; find someone who values you for you, who you can trust, and who you enjoy spending time with.

Question: I have a question so there this girl I like, and she keeps on flirting with me every time I see her she’s always teasing me she’s hitting me and stuff, and if I arrive somewhere when she’s already there she will come racing over. Then when I ask her to hang out or something 9x out of 10, she will shoot me down. What does that mean?

Answer: This one should be obvious; look at the signs she's sending you.

1.) She keeps on flirting with you.

2.) She teases you.

3.) She gets excited when she sees you.

Those are pretty strong clues that she likes you.

So why does she shut you down when you ask to hang out?

There could be a number of reasons.. her parents don't want her going out. She could actually just be busy. She could have a fear of hanging out. I hung out once and almost got arrested, but that's a different story.

Most likely, she wants a bit more challenge. I've been through this before a few times.

First, try this: don't ask, don't leave a way out. "Hey, there's a band playing this Friday at the club I want you to see. I'll pick you up around 6." Not all chicks go for that, but many do, especially if they are already interested. Make it fun though. Find what she enjoys doing and then take her to do that.

Next, just ask her. A simple "why not" can do wonders.

Finally, stop asking. There are a lot of amazing chicks out there. If she doesn't want to hang, that's her loss.

Question: This girl has a boyfriend. However, we have been hanging out for awhile, and one night my father caught us holding hands. After that, she is mad at me, and she said she would never hold your hand again. What should I do?

Answer: Ignore the remark. Chicks will get upset, they will get embarrassed, but usually, they'll get over it pretty quick. If she already has a boyfriend and you're interested in her, either ask her out or find a different chick.

Question: She keeps telling me she's single. Is that a hint that she likes me?

Answer: Depends on how she's telling you, but most likely, yes. Girls will leave clues and hints like that to push you into doing something to win their attention, and more. Take her out on a date and see what happens.

Question: I just recently hooked up with my ex-girlfriend, and when I walked her home, she invited me into her apartment. Do you think she is going to give me another chance?

Answer: One thing, man: there's a reason she's your ex. History has a way of repeating itself. If you're looking for a couple of quickies, sure, but if you're looking for something more, be careful and take it slow. There may be that chance, but then again, it could be asking for another breakup. The only way to know for sure is to go to her apartment and see what happens.

Question: I asked a girl to hang out with me twice. At first she said yes, and then the second time she also said yes. Is that good? Does she like me?

Answer: If she's hanging out with you, and you like her, then yeah, that's probably a good thing.

Question: This girl that I like is talking to someone but she flirts with me non-stop. She said she wanted a specific type of flower and even went as far as telling me where I can buy that flower, does she like me and should I buy her the flowers or not?

Answer: If a girl asks you to buy her flowers, and you like the girl, then what do you think? Buy her the flowers.

Question: A girl at work seems to be flirting but I don't know and recently we were going to a work event and she highlighted a couple of times that her bum had gotten bigger and I would be looking. But giggling about it. Is she giving me flirting signals?

Answer: It depends on what the context is. Is this an ongoing thing? If so, then yeah, those are some signals that you need to watch for. If it has only happened once or twice, that's probably just her personality or just her having fun.

Question: She always pretends to be mad when I talk to her, is that a hint?

Answer: A hint for what? That she likes you? I have a good friend that always pretends to be mad at me; he's a guy, I'm a guy, and no, we're not gay. Does that mean that he likes me? No, it just means we're friends.

You have to look for more clues than just that. Does she tease you? Does she play with you? When you're together, does she move close? Make prolonged eye contact? Giggle?

Just pretending to be mad isn't enough to know if someone likes you or not. Read the article and then see if she is showing any of those signs.

Question: People ask her if shes dating me, and whenever they ask her she says "what no!" and she blushes does that mean she likes me?

Answer: She blushes when your name is mentioned in relation to you two dating. Either she's very embarrassed to even have her name mentioned in the same sentence as yours, or she likes you. I would go with the latter.

Question: I Started hanging out with a girl I like and we started to become good friends. When I told her I liked her, she told me one of her friends I had talked to had already told her yet she continued to hang out with me one on one. But when I asked her for a date, she said no. Huh?

Answer: If you asked her for a date and she said no, she probably means just that. Sorry but it looks like this one "friend zoned" you.

Question: So there’s this girl I’ve known since high school, and we recently have been hanging out again. I find myself attracted to her and I try not to show it sometimes maybe because I feel like I am taking things too quickly. I found myself with her touching me, getting into my comfortable space, and teasing me. I was found myself running into her but there are sometimes that I feel on edge about everything. I need help, could you give me some answers?

Answer: That's normal. Those are feelings that every normal person gets when they are attracted to another, but look at the signals:

1. She touches you.

2. She moves in close to you.

3. She teases you.

Those are three classic signs that she's into you. Enjoy the ride and take a chance.

Question: I have a question I asked my crush to go to a dance in my school with me she accepted, however, her response wasn’t enthusiastic I asked for her number she gave it to me and I sent her a message to which I got no response multiple people have said she likes me I even got shown a letter in which she was unsure of how she felt about me. Does she like me?

Answer: It's time to move on. Look at the signals that she's giving you.

1.) Her response was unenthusiastic.

2.) She doesn't return your texts.

3.) She was unsure of how she felt of you.

Your words.

When a chick likes you, it'll be obvious. There won't be any guessing involved; look at the clues they send. This one is pretty obvious. Find someone else to go to the dance with.

Question: I asked this girl if she likes me and she said she was gay (as a joke). I think she doesn’t like me because she said that. But what does it mean that she is always playing with me and teasing me?

Answer: First, is she gay? If so, that answers the question right there.

If not, and she was playing around, that's a way of not directly answering the question while at the same time teasing you. If she is always playing and teasing, there's a good chance she's into you. Tease back. Play back. With playing, things come naturally. To me, it sounds like she is the type that likes a challenge.. but not too much of one, otherwise, you'll get stuck in the friend zone.

© 2010 Eric Standridge


Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on April 24, 2019:

Andrew.. Stop being a wuss. No, seriously. Alright, you have to admit, you had that coming, now let me get serious.

I suffered from Social Anxiety for years. Even the thought of Looking at a girl made my heart race and sweat pour down my face.

Here's the secret: Get over it.

Yes, it's that easy. You are the only one getting in your way.

So how did I do it?

First, I put myself in situations where I was forced to talk to people. At this time, I wasn't worried about picking up chicks; I just didn't want to be "that guy" anymore.

Second, I volunteered. Habitat for Humanity, at the museum, and during every civic event I could find. I hated it. At first. The more I hung around people, the less nervous I got. The more I realized that I had value. You have value. You just have to realize that. That can only be done by getting out and getting in the middle of people.

Third, I took classes. Public speaking. Creative writing. Business and finance. Any type of class where I was forced to work in a team and forced to give presentations. Even today, I still put myself in those situations. Sometimes I feel that old anxiety creeping back up but by forcing myself, I'm able to get past it.

The side benefit is that you learn more and you make more friends. It's hard not to.

It sucks at first. It really sucks. You're a big bundle of nerves for the first year or so.. but eventually, you start to relax and have fun - without even knowing it. Eventually, you find your niche, a place where you always feel confident.

With that confidence comes attraction. You don't automatically have confidence; it's gained through experience. If you don't get out and get experience, you'll never find that confidence. This is in everything you do; trying to land a big account, you have to have the knowledge and confidence to do so; trying to get a better job, same thing.

Once you have the confidence, then get the education. Learn what girls like, learn what makes them laugh. Have fun with it. When you find something that works, make note of it and use it.

If you have confidence in yourself, and you have the confidence to make a girl laugh, you create attraction.

So the question isn't how do you pick up a chick but rather, what have you done to improve your confidence? Stop trying so hard and start having fun with life; the rest will all come naturally.

Andrew on April 24, 2019:

Tell this to guys like me who have social anxiety or shyness and haven't managed to have a girlfriend at the age of 30+ or even 40+. For women, this isn't so much of a problem, because even if a woman is shy or anxious, there is bound to be a guy who will introduce himself and make all the moves so that she doesn't have to. She might be shaking in her boots, but the guy who is attracted to her and really wants to get to know her will be patient and understanding. She may never get over her anxiety completely, but at least she is shown that someone was willing to get to know her, desire her, and love her despite all of that. Overtime, she may come out of her shell because her boyfriend saw through the walls she put up and believed in her.

You can't say this about most guys with SA or shyness. The kind of messages they are given are to "man up!", "stop being a pussy", "don't be afraid of rejection", "to be alpha!" While confidence is attractive in anyone no matter what sex they are, it is like a barrier of entry for men. A woman can have little confidence, but she is given the chance and that chance allows her to gain confidence through experience and competency. A man can have little confidence, but never be given the chance because it is seen as unattractive and ineffectual. How can one have confidence if you don't have any proof that you are competent? It is even worse when people see shyness and social anxiety as weakness. It is essentially leprosy for men. A guy with SA might as well be paralyzed from the waist down, heck, even a confident guy in a wheelchair has better chances than the SA guy does.

I am not MGTOW, btw - nor am I angry at women. It's not their fault they're not attracted to me - and I have many woman friends.

Gil on October 27, 2018:

I believe that intimacy is a basic human need. Most guys can get it because they can attract a woman. I am not able to do this, and since there's no way any woman would ever go out with me on a regular date, it seems the only way I will ever experience intimacy is if I pay a woman by the hour to go out with me (for dinner, etc.,). I'm certainly not expecting any woman to touch me - I just want to be close to a woman for once and have a 'date-like' conversation. Do you have any advice for a guy who has never asked any woman out because rejection - or worse - would be guaranteed?

Love Was Easy To Find Back Then on July 22, 2018:

If only women would have been like the old days which made real love very easy to find the way that it did happen for our family members back then since they definitely had it much easier than us.

Jack on July 01, 2018:

The only thing I *know* is that there is no way I'll ever get any woman to even talk to me. Other guys get girlfriends, dates, etc., because they are attractive to somebody out there. I am of zero interest to any woman and this is a fact that can't be changed. It's hard to accept that nobody will ever want me, but no matter what I do, I'll never be able to compete successfully for a woman's interest against any other guy because every other guy is more attractive than me.

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on June 09, 2018:

"I am the most unattractive man possible" -- "This is not to do with confidence"

If you believe you are the most unattractive man, others are going to believe that as well. That too, is a simple fact.

So check this out.. I used to always see really hot chicks walking around with really, really ugly guys. I always wondered how the hell they scored a 10.

I started watching those guys closer. I wanted to be like that. The thing I noticed was this: They were all funny, or witty, or charming, or interesting.. they made you feel special when you talked to them.

I had a good buddy that was like that. It was a guy I worked with - ugly as hell, but he always had a hot chick with him. Watching what he did, he always teased, but then would come back with something sweet.. (not creepy!) .. right after, he would come back with more teasing; not quite making fun of them, but just giving them a hard time.

Thing is, it's not how you look - it IS about confidence. If you believe you're ugly and you believe that that's the only thing people focus on, you'll always struggle. You have to figure out what makes you attractive; what is it that you have that makes you, you.

Only way to do that is to get out and try different things. If you fail, so what? You'll learn something from it and you'll gain a little confidence. Fail again? Great.. keep failing until you figure out what works.

Why bother? That's a decision up to you man.. but if you want to change, get out and do something.. then keep doing something until you have enough confidence to walk up to any chick and *know* you can get her.

Jack on June 09, 2018:

I never get signs from any woman of any type whatsoever - they never acknowledge my existence at all. Every other guy (and I mean every other guy) is incomparably more attractive than me no matter what I look like, do or say. I am the most unattractive man possible, and nothing I could ever do could change this. This is not to do with confidence, it's simple fact - as such I never talk to women - why bother?

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on April 11, 2018:

A friendly "hi" works as well - the key is to have enough confidence to go up to a girl and talk to her. Approaching someone for the first time is a lot different than trying to figure out if there's a connection.

When approaching a woman, the best thing to do is to walk up and greet her with a "Hello", and then strike up a conversation.

Playful teasing comes after you get to know her a little. A good way to know if she likes you is that she teases back, or better yet, begins the teasing. You joke with her, she jokes with you, playfully hits your arm, smiles, etc.. these are all signs that she's into you.

If she doesn't do those things, accept that she's just not into you - smile, nod, and walk away.

So to define the difference between assault and teasing...

If you're having a good conversation with a girl and suddenly bust out with something like, "Hey, nice breasts!" That's assault, and I hope that there's a nice hefty slap coming from her direction. Social media posts would be perfectly allowable in that case.

If you're having a good conversation with a girl and she says something like, "You're funny.." and you bust back with, "Yeah, I bet you say that to all the guys. You just want another free drink.." all while flashing a mischevious grin, that's playful teasing.

Along those same lines, people will post on social media what they will post. If you're being a creep, then there should be a worry. But, you also can't let those fears stop you from getting out there and meeting people.

Adam on April 11, 2018:

"We're not talking about assult here, just playful teasing"... OK - you mean YOU are not talking about assault ... but it happens all the time, what to you (and maybe I) is 'playful teasing' literally finishes guys off for good if the woman doesn't like it. "Smile, nod and wish her a nice day" - really... I don't think so. Society has shown in the last few years that guys who dare approach women are regularly pilloried on social media (and thus socially and professionally done with) before the woman even decides whether she'll report anything. Nope - I'm not about to put myself up to be destroyed for just saying a friendly 'Hi'...

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on January 30, 2018:


Playfully teasing a girl is not the same as walking up and grabbing her rear - there's a difference.

Think back to when you were in grade school.. things were so simple then. If you wanted to play with someone, you went up and asked, "Hey, wanna play?" Most of the time, they said yes.. if they didn't, we shrugged and went up to another kid on the playground.

What happened?

It's that very fear of rejection that stops people. Over the years, things happen that erode our confidence; people are scared of rejection.

First rule, build your confidence. If a girl wants to play, great! If not, fine, there's another girl around the corner. There's always another playground.

I've never once went to jail for asking a girl out. Sure, I may have been laughed at a few times - I mean, I'm not even close to a 10, but that doesn't stop me from trying. If she's not comfortable with you teasing and playing with her, you'll know. She'll tell you, either verbally or with body language.

On the other hand, you never know, she may enjoy it! That's where you need to know how to recognize if she's interested in you or not. Make a joke, she laughs then hits you in the arm.. yeah, she's probably into you. Make a joke and she just stands there, smile, nod, and wish her a nice day. We're not talking about assult here, just playful teasing. When you show her that you have confidence, there's a good chance that you'll get a date.

Man, before you even think about going after a chick though, you really need to build up your confidence level. Surprisingly, I used to be what you would call an extreme introvert. I'd piss my pants even getting close to a girl. But, I put myself in situations where I had to meet people and had to interact.. the more I did that, the more confidence I gained. It wasn't easy, but well worth it. Now, I can stand up in front of 200 people and not blink. If you've never tried, then you have no idea what works. Get out there, try, fail, pick yourself up, try again.. repeat until you're confident in yourself. It'll happen, just takes time.

Eric Standridge on January 30, 2018:


Playfully teasing a girl is not the same as walking up and grabbing her rear - there's a difference.

Think back to when you were in grade school.. things were so simple then. If you wanted to play with someone, you went up and asked, "Hey, wanna play?" Most of the time, they said yes.. if they didn't, we shrugged and went up to another kid on the playground.

What happened?

It's that very fear of rejection that stops people. Over the years, things happen that erode our confidence; people are scared of rejection.

First rule, build your confidence. If a girl wants to play, great! If not, fine, there's another girl around the corner. There's always another playground.

I've never once went to jail for asking a girl out. Sure, I may have been laughed at a few times - I mean, I'm not even close to a 10, but that doesn't stop me from trying. If she's not comfortable with you teasing and playing with her, you'll know. She'll tell you, either verbally or with body language.

On the other hand, you never know, she may enjoy it! That's where you need to know how to recognize if she's interested in you or not. Make a joke, she laughs then hits you in the arm.. yeah, she's probably into you. Make a joke and she just stands there, smile, nod, and wish her a nice day. We're not talking about assult here, just playful teasing. When you show her that you have confidence, there's a good chance that you'll get a date.

Man, before you even think about going after a chick though, you really need to build up your confidence level. Surprisingly, I used to be what you would call an extreme introvert. I'd piss my pants even getting close to a girl. But, I put myself in situations where I had to meet people and had to interact.. the more I did that, the more confidence I gained. It wasn't easy, but well worth it. Now, I can stand up in front of 200 people and not blink. If you've never tried, then you have no idea what works. Get out there, try, fail, pick yourself up, try again.. repeat until you're confident in yourself. It'll happen, just takes time.

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on October 30, 2017:

Paul.. take a moment to look at what you said: I firmly believe that no matter what I do, say, wear, etc., no women could ever be attracted to me.

That's the main problem right there. Seriously, with that attitude, you're right. Life is 90% attitude and 10% reality; it's all perception. If you walk around thinking like that, that's all people will see. Right now, it sounds like a confidence problem more than anything. Now if you start projecting confidence, that will be a whole new game. Get a little cocky.. pick on people.. tease them.. You're not out there to get married and have 20 kids; get out and just have fun. Don't worry what people will think of you, that doesn't matter. What matters is you being you.

Now, get out and start meeting people. Put yourself in situations where you're not comfortable and keep doing that. You'll start to gain more confidence; man, I've been there. You'll go through hell for awhile.. but then, one day, it'll click.

Get your confidence up. If you keep giving up, you'll never get anywhere.

As I said, If you believe that it's going to be a 100% chance of failure, that's all you'll see. Life is 10% what really happens, and 90% attitude.

Paul on October 29, 2017:

Hello Eric - thanks for your reply and advice. I do have the look I want - and get complimented regularly by women on my clothes, shoes, etc. None of this does anything for my confidence at all, which stands at 0. I firmly believe that no matter what I do, say, wear, etc., no women could ever be attracted to me. As such, I believe - as I said before - rejection is 100% guaranteed, so there's absolutely no point in asking any woman out.

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on September 06, 2017:

If rejection is always guaranteed, then change your approach. I used to be very shy and introverted but then I forced myself to put myself into situations where I had to interact. At first, it was daunting, but the more that I did it, the easier it got. The biggest key here is confidence; if you don't push yourself to gain that confidence, you'll always face rejection. There's always a certain amount of fear involved, but it gets easier over time.

As you build your confidence then you'll start to notice a change. The dating world will open up significantly. You may not notice at first, but with confidence also comes appeal.

How I did it was easy on the surface, but very intimidating internally. First, look at yourself in the mirror and imagine who you want to be. Then go out and set that image; change your style, get a new haircut, new clothes, focus on getting that image you want. Once you look better, you'll feel better.

Now that you have the look, find situations to force yourself to interact. Say hi to everyone you meet; it's an easy start and will get you used to interacting. Then get involved with clubs or other activities where you're forced to talk to people. Forget what they think of you; just be yourself. Eventually you'll form your own little clique. As you build confidence, put yourself into more intimidating places.

Once you have the look you want and have built up your confidence, you'll start to see little clues that she's interested. When that happens, take action.. at first, you'll fail miserably - that's life, you just have to deal with it. Go through a few failures, see what works, and then you'll hit that one that does work.. and you'll learn a lot from that. The biggest thing here is to have fun - don't worry about what people think of you; it's your life, live it how you want.

If you believe that it's going to be a 100% chance of failure, that's all you'll see. Life is 10% what really happens, and 90% attitude.

Paul on September 04, 2017:

I've never gotten even one of the cues identified above from a woman. As a very shy and introverted guy, I never ask women out because rejection is always guaranteed. I’m not scared of rejection – it’s for sure going to happen with every / any woman I might approach. Given this, I see no point in doing something which is 100% guaranteed to be doomed to failure.

Annon on December 26, 2016:

Unfortunately most of those my be the case but doesn't mean she will want to go out for a drink with you, then when you pluck up the courage and ask her out and she says she is busy but she will see if she can make it! Then ignores you when she sees you next and keeps a distance then makes you think what's the point... all these signs don't mean anything so just ask the out then you will know for sure... if it's a no don't even try just move on! Best advice you're gunna get

eliza on November 22, 2016:

i'm best friends with a football player and i like him a lot and he likes me a lot i want to ask him out but i don't know how to ask a guy to go out with me. braydon almost touched me on the back at lunch.

Elaine Flowers from Dallas, Texas on November 02, 2014:

Every one of the cues you listed are spot on! Voted up and interesting!

Vivian Sudhir from Madurai, India on October 11, 2014:

Interesting article on dating, voted up ad tweeted. Good to read.

HealthBug LM on October 09, 2014:

A good read, well I feel such feeling get automatically reciprocated but those who have doubt (they are actually looking for more ways to reconfirm), look around for more clues then there are flirts who try one shot to knock multiple hearts.

Anyway it was really interesting and yes based on real life facts.

Don from Tennessee on October 04, 2014:

This is a very helpful hub for someone like me who's not used to playing many games or reading a lot of people. I still wills women would just say if they like you, though. It would make thinks so much more easier.

Samuel Wright from Bakersfield, Ca. on October 02, 2014:

I liked this read... I have been married for 23 (been together for a total of 26) years and I will tell you that I hope there is never a need for me to return to the dating scene. It just seems a little more complicated these days. I sit an d listen to the women at my work talk, in the break room, about their dating adventures and cannot help but ask myself if women were like this back then too.

If so, I would be torn up alive in the dating marked these days. :-)

hypnodoctor on October 02, 2014:

Great hub! Good tips. What I noticed is that by far the biggest indications that she likes you is her availability and being close to you... But only in the initial weeks of meeting her! If she's already a guy's friend, these could be indicators of him being in the "friend zone", which is bad.

One must always consider the context.

micsu on October 02, 2014:


Louise0711 on September 07, 2014:

I would say this is spot on. I would also say trust your instinct as well. And maybe just go for it. If she doesn't like you after all, there's millions of other woman out there!

Jimmy on July 06, 2014:

Great I like the. Hub thumbs. Up

Amanda Jones on June 14, 2013:

This is a great informative Hub. I'm sure it will help a lot of people! Voted up!

Hailey on June 07, 2013:

Cool hub, nice points, seems like you know women's behaviour.

interesting, voted up!

john09 on April 18, 2013:

hey urban, i've been knowing this girl for awhile. relationship got disengaged during high school. however one day i met her in a local restaurant. she ask me many questions and confronted me on avoiding her in college. giggled at all my jokes but never called or texted me. i bombed by giving my number but still dazed on whether the girl is interested or not. should i grab my second ball sack and go speak to her or what! please comment

nick on March 19, 2013:

looks like someones getting laid and that someone is meeeeee!!!!

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on April 30, 2012:

Pebox, there's a fine line there.. Really, you're showing this chick that you have confidence - you're showing her that you're not afraid to flirt with other girls, that if she want's You then she's going to have to try a little harder. As far as the friend that you're hitting on, don't let it get that far. As soon as her friend starts thinking that you're into her, back off, she'll get the hint. The point is to do it just enough so that the chick that you're into sees your confidence, but not enough to give the friend the wrong idea.

As I've said, it's all about confidence. If you have it, people will notice. If you don't have it - get it. Building up that confidence level is easy to do, but that's something that you have to decide on doing.

The best that anyone can say is this: take a shot. If it works out, great! Hell, if you miss, move on..it's a big world, and there's plenty of game.

Pebox on April 28, 2012:

thanks, but yet again ive got one more question... what if when i bust on her friends that she decides to take it a little further than needed? ive done this before and it did NOT turn out well for either of us *SIGH* that's just how life is... *MEGA SIGH*

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on April 21, 2012:

Man, I feel for ya. The Friend Zone is not a good place to be, but there's always a way out. Thing is, most people get stuck there because they tend to take the "wuss road" - that is, they try to give the girl what they think the girl wants. But, what a girl says she wants and what she actually does want are two different things.

They say, "I want a nice guy who will listen to me." Right, sure. And I want a chick that likes to use my cracker jacks as a punching bag. No, what a girl is attracted to is confidence, humor, and - like men - they want the chase; the thrill of excitement.

Don't get me wrong, a girl does want a guy to listen to her, and they do like the nice guy routine occasionally, but that's not All they want.

So here's the thing, to get out of the friend zone, step up your game, but while you're doing that, walk away. In other words, make it known that you don't "need" her, give her a reason to chase after her. Make her laugh, bust on her a little, embarrass her a little.. show her that you're not "afraid" of her. When you're done, step back, give her room to think about you. Even better, do the same thing with one of her friends, even if you don't like her friend. Make a game out of it.

The friend zone is a hard place to get out of, but it's not impossible.

....and I'll say this too - as you've noticed - she's not the only girl in the world. If you can't get out of that friend zone, move on. Good luck with things..

Pebox on April 21, 2012:

thanks mate for the advice ive recently moved on to another "Chick" and she is really nice... only thing is im a bit worried that im stuck in the friend zone right now. if i am what can i do to get out of it or is it like quick sand? the more you struggle the deeper you get stuck?

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on April 13, 2012:

Mr. Knocker.. There's a rule you should never break - if a chick is with another dude, walk away. If she cheats on him to be with you, later on down the road, she'll cheat on you to be with someone else. It's a vicious cycle, and chicks like that need to be tied up to the rear of a car as it's speeding down a gravel road. Ok, maybe that's too much, but the point is, stay away.

Reves, I agree here.. as partially quoted by Sheedog, "The tips presented here are worthless.". Thing is, there's no one way to know if she's interested - you have to use your gut, suck it in, and take the plunge. The tips here are just the starting place. This represents "most" chicks, but as we know, everyone's different.

Pebox, as I've said before, first read this article: https://urbane-chaos.hubpages.com/hub/Dating-Advic... and then read this article: https://urbane-chaos.hubpages.com/hub/Dating-Advic... Once you get done then forget about the two-faced chick and move on with life. In the long run, you want someone who's going to be stable; who will be the same person no matter who they are with. That's different if you're just looking for a Friday night fling, something to get your mud-flaps in the groove, but if you're looking for long-term, find someone who's worth it.

Jen, sorry chicka, but that's just not how the real world works. Picture it: Some dude has the hots for a fine girl. She's been makin' all the moves, but he's still not sure. So, he walks up to her, puts on his big-boy-wuss-pants and says, "Do you like me?" Ok, what's she going to do? Most likely, the guy will never hear from her again. Why? Because just by asking that simple question all the confidence she's perceived that he has is gone. I mean, really, if you have to ask, there's something wrong. When people say "actions speak louder than words", that means something. Instead of wearing the wussy-pants, put on some man-jeans and make the move. If she's giving out the signals then there's no reason not to give it a try. If you get rejected, hell, it happens - that's life. Build a bridge and get over it.. but, each time you try then you'll learn something new. Knowing what works and what doesn't builds confidence, and it allows you to get to know yourself better.

The bottom line is this: If you don't try, you'll live with the regret of not trying for the rest of your life.

Jenn@sexysugardaddys.com on April 12, 2012:

Well, the best way to know is to ask them if they really like you. I mean, you would be able to see it if they are telling the truth or not unless they'd make such a convincing act which I would doubt. People's true feelings will show eventually, just observe them and pick up the hints.

Pebox on April 02, 2012:

this girl i like.... well she is nice and all that but whenever she is around her friends she acts like, well not nice, and recently i have been trying to get her attention by not sucking up to her and so on and she is not biting the bait. have you got any tips for a male trying to get a girl.

plz get back to me...

P.S. your hub is very educational exspecialy when im doing sociology. THANKS!

Reve from Dhaka on March 22, 2012:

Umm this can be pretty tricky as there are not any definite tips of getting the "signal". If you are willing to know on whether she likes you or not, you will able to get to know through her approach on you.

Fartknocker90210 on March 19, 2012:

So this girl is interested in me. I can tell by her body language and the way she interacts with me; eye contact, unnecesary touching, hugging, etc... But I recently found out she has a boyfriend-- who's a tacky dressed, over-confident punk! Do I hang out with her and her family as a friend, until or if she decides to go with me, or stop pursuing altogether? Perhaps I could cease and resume the pursuit after she brakes up with tricky dick. Any advice helps!

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on March 12, 2012:

Michigan Mike..

Ok, first, I'm glad to know you're from Michigan, but that really doesn't have any bearing on anything.

Now, getting to the real issue here.. dude, you're having visions of grandeur. If she had a reason to ask for your number, then that's most likely why she asked. With the little smiley's, hell, chicks do that all the time. I dated one chick that always said "luv ya" at the end. Then again, she says that to everyone. As a wise man once said, "Forgetaboutit".

Look, it'd be different if she was calling you at 1 am and wanted to talk all night long.. or if she texted you constantly with how much she misses you.. but that's not happening.

As far as her moving her body in, that's normal conversation; that's a sign that someone is interested in what you're saying, or so that they can hear you better. That along isn't enough to prove that she's giving all the classic signs of being attracted to you. There's a point where normal body language becomes flirtatious body language. One or two occasionally sometimes does not mean that a chick is into you - it's a constant thing.

If she likes you then she would tease you, flirt with you, touch you, etc. Remember when you were in first grade and the chicks would run away because they said you had cooties? It's the same thing, but on an adult level. Instead of child's play, think of it as flirtatious play.

Just remember, this works both ways.. if you're into a chick, then it's alright to flirt, it's alright to tease them, to pick on them. Sometimes, if you're into a chick as much as you say you are then it's up to you to move things to the next level.

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on March 12, 2012:

Asop, the best thing to do is to be honest. If you don't like a chick in the same way that she likes you, be up front and tell her about it. You may occasionally get slapped, but it's better to avoid situations like those. Trust me, I know.. Last time I made that mistake I was talking all high and squeaky for a week. If it causes problems with the chick that you do like - so be it. There's thousands of people out there, if one can't accept you for who you are then move on to the next. Eventually, you'll find the right fit, and, you'll have a hell of a lot of fun along the way!

mike jones on March 12, 2012:

There's this girl in one of my classes that I cant stop thinking about her. just the other day she asked for my number (she had an excuse to ask for it though so i'm not sure if it means anything or not)but she texted me the next day and at the end of the sentence she usually puts a :). (again i'm not sure if that means anything). does he like me? or am i just crazy?

P.S. she sometimes moves her body towards mine when we aren't talking to each other in class (this only happens when we haven't said a word to each other for more than a couple minutes)

P.S.S. I live in Michigan

Thanks !

asop on March 12, 2012:

Man, I have some problems. So, you know the chick I like, well her sister asked me to the junior high dance today. I like her sister as a friend but not that much. The reason for this is that I was kind of a jerk to Izzie (her sister) and then she gave me a note that said she wanted to be my friend again and I said yes. I think she took that a little too seriously. Anyway, what should I do? Please answer this because the dance is on Friday. :)

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on March 09, 2012:

Sop, or asop - whatever the hell your name is..

These are classic signs of a chick liking you. She playfully "steals" your stuff, she "pokes" you, and so on.. really, she's just trying to find some way to be close to you - to get you to notice her. Based on what you said, yeah, man, she's into you.

But look, 8th grade.. Man, this is the time to have fun. Explore a bit - figure out what works with chicks and what doesn't. Obviously, you're doing something right, but don't get fixated on one girl. There will be time for that later on..

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on March 09, 2012:

Jim, dating is dating.. Generally, all women look for the same thing - they want a guy who is confident, funny, and successful.

Confidence is something that's either there or not, no matter what age you are. A shy guy at 20 has just as much of a chance as a guy at 60 - pretty much none. The thing is, if you're not confident enough to approach a woman, then you'll never met her. If you do manage to approach her and just stand there babbling like an idiot, that's what you'll be seen as. However, if you walk up to her, knowing what you want, and start carrying on a good conversation with her then you'll be seen as confident - and that's a major attraction for her.

Now if you walk up to her and make her laugh, well, that's just icing on the cake. We've all had those conversations before where someone goes on and on about things we simply don't care about. By the end, we're tempted to find a noose and stick our heads in it. When you first meet a chick, they don't care about you, they care about how you make them feel. It's a sad fact, but it's the truth. If you make them feel good, if you make them laugh, then that gives them a reason to be attracted to you, which also gives them a reason to care about you. Again, this is true no matter what age you are, just the dynamics change.

Finally, success is really the only thing that's different as you age. In high school, success is defined by how popular you are, or how athletic you are, or even how confident you are. When you get older, success is defined by how you've handled your life, how much debt you owe, or, again, how confident you are. Sometimes success is measured by material wealth, but most of the time, it's measured by how you handle yourself - how you appear. At 18, you can appear successful wearing baggy jeans that show off your ass crack, but at 50, show up in something like that and you're considered a bum.

In all, the rules are always the same; be confident and make her laugh - it doesn't matter what age you are.

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on March 09, 2012:

Santiago.. for some reason, this sounds like a soap opera. He said, and then she said, and then.. really? Grow a pair, walk up to her, and talk to her. Even if she does like you now, it won't last for long if you have to use other people as a crutch. The thing is this; you won't know if she likes you or not until you ignore what other people say and find out for yourself.

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on March 09, 2012:

Sorry guys, I've been out for a bit..


It sounds like you missed your cue. It happens; hell, I've been there before. Now you say you met this chick online, which is cool, but the problem with meeting people online is that it raises their expectations of you. See, online, you were the outgoing, confident, slightly cocky guy that all girls want, and she expected that in real life. Instead, what she got was someone who was "overwhelmed and somewhat passive". Yeah, big turn off. After your dinner, it sounds like she went into "friend mode" - bad place to be. My suggestion is to take your losses and move on.

The biggest thing that you need to do is overcome your shyness. Again, I've been there - it's not fun when you're begging for a date.. but then I built a bridge and got over myself.

You need to build up your confidence.

Read this article about how to approach women: https://hubpages.com/relationships/Dating-Advice-A... In specific, read the sidebar titled "Building Confidence". It's not easy, but it's something that you need to do. Without confidence, you'll end up turning into that 40 year old dweeb that's never gotten any. That's just not cool.

and then read this article on where to meet women: https://pairedlife.com/etiquette/Dating-Advice-Mee... The internet has it's place, but you need to learn how to pick up chicks in the real world before you can really get out there.

Remember, 99% of everything is confidence and attitude.

asop on March 08, 2012:

Ok, so there is this girl at school who sometimes pokes me or lightly punches me on the arm or back in the hallway. Most of the time, however, she tries to steal my backpack. I've known her for four or five years maybe and I sort of like her. I am a teen, 8th grade, and I've never dated before. She never does this to anyone else and I know she has experience with this kind of thing. Sometimes, no quite often, at lunch, she steals my fork or spoon or messes with my food on my plate. At the beginning the year she was dating one of my best friends, but I'm not sure if they are still at it. I don't want to ask him because that would be suspicious. Several times I think she may have been looking at me at lunch, but I'm not sure. I know if I see her looking or smiling at me I should smile back. But, my real question is DOES SHE LIKE ME? If she does, should I ask her out or wait for her to make the first move? Also, her sister( half sister) and I found a "love letter" to one of my friends, who she later asked out, if this is any use on the matter of whether to let her make the first move or not.

sop on March 08, 2012:

Ok, so there is this girl at school who sometimes pokes me or lightly punches me on the arm or back in the hallway. Most of the time, however, she tries to steal my backpack. I've known her for four or five years maybe and I sort of like her. I am a teen, 8th grade, and I've never dated before. Buuut,

Mary from Washington on March 03, 2012:

Wouldn't it be boring if we could be easily understood? I think men like the challenge. :)

JIM HAMILTON on March 03, 2012:

Great read, thank you!

Anyone have any ideas about dating women over 50? Do the same dynamics enter?


Santiago on February 29, 2012:

So apparently (heard from one friend), the girl I like a lot asked my friend (mutual friend) who I like and if I'm asking anyone to prom.. my friend said no to both because she does anything to keep my secrets haha.

So then the girl I like asked another friend in the same class.. she asked if I liked her. He said that i told him not to tell anyone.. so basically it gave it away and my friend said she blushed and smiled after that.. she has a boyfriend though

My question is why shes asking that: could she like me or is she just curious. and if so, why not ask me? Thanks!

Shyguy on February 21, 2012:

So I had a first date with a wonderful woman, after reading this article I assume you know a lot about signals, maybe you can help me out a little (I feel really awkward atm), I'd really appreciate it.

We met on an onlinedating site, she had no picture, I had one. She had a cool profile so I wrote her anyways, after a couple of messages I realized she has an outstanding personality. I wanted to initiate a phone call, she rejected and gave me her facebook profile link instead so I'd get "visually acquainted" with her. She looks absolutely stunning. We wrote on Facebook like one message per day (playful and teasing messages) until we met 2 weeks later.

We spent an enjoyable evening. To my surprise she greeted me with a kiss on the cheek telling me I was smelling good, she physically teased me a couple of times, she changed her place to sit closer to me when we were in the restaurant (with some dumb excuse), she was smiling at me like the whole evening, she was genuinely interested and asking stuff about my work. However I was overwhelmed and somewhat passive, even when we had a walk after dinner (where she put her arm on my shoulder as support while testing the thickness of a frozen surface) I couldn't overcome my shyness to take her hand or something. Obviously I also didn't kiss her when we said goodbye even though I knew she wouldn't reject it. I only acted "correctly" once, when she told me in the middle of the conversation that she felt warm and touched her cheek, I also did and confirmed (in fact it was true lol). Besides the fact that I'm an idiot, do you think that my behaviour scared her off or should I assume that she? really likes me and give me another chance to do the right things on a second date? Comparing this with your signal list, this is almost as much of signals as one can get.

While she agreed on seeing me again (before my failed goodbye where I briefly hugged her), I just feel that she expected more and might think that I'm an emotional analphabet/nerd/asexual/not interested. So what do you think, can this still work or is it likely that she will move on?

thanks for your insights...

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on December 30, 2011:

Man, that's what it's all about there - having fun. You went for it, but when a chick's already with someone it's always a little tricky.. you have to be completely certain that she's into you first. And hell, chicks will do this to - they'll flirt and tease and all of that just to mess with ya. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. But, you never know unless you try.

...and here's the thing; you got balls for just going after it. Most guys just sit back and fantasize about doing something.

Jim on December 30, 2011:

I went for it and she went out of it. So i'll just go do whatever sounds fun. It's awkward asking my parents because they're sort of biased obviously and I need some serious criticism to keep me on track, not just agreement with everything I plan to do.

Ever since she and her bf got in that fight a few weeks ago she's kind of stopped talking to me; I called her two days ago to see if she had plans today (Friday) and if she wanted to go ice skating; she said her dad was off work but she'd let me know. Hasn't let me known and it's night time, Friday. So I guess it's not worth wasting time on this flake, maybe something will come up in the future. Thanks again!

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on December 25, 2011:

Jim, one simple concept here: Show, don't tell. Once you start getting mushy on her - "I think I'm in love with you... you're the light of my world..." - then it's all over. Save that for sappy romances. Instead, if you're confident that she likes you, go in for the kill. Offer her a massage, give her a kiss, whatever.. actions are always stronger than words.

I hope everything works out for ya. ...and if not, hell, go get another chick. Right now, it's all about fun. The serious crap comes later. Good luck bro..

Jim on December 24, 2011:

Haha thank you so much! I totally agree with you actually, I just needed to hear it to be snapped back into reality. Anyways, when I drop her gift off tomorrow or tonight, should I just wing it and tell her how I feel? Just like that? I mean she still seems into her boyfriend but you're right I don't see it lasting for the rest of high school. I'm just going to tell her when I drop my gift off; hope it turns out well. Thanks for the advice, I really needed it! Happy holidays!

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on December 20, 2011:

I'll let you in on a little secret: No woman wants to be treated like a princess. They will say they do. They may even believe that's something they want. The simple truth is that it's just not true.

First, go back and read what I wrote before. Does she do any of these things? Does she "play" with you? Does she giggle a lot when she's around you? Does she.. alright, you get the point. These are all signs that she's into you, no matter if she's got a guy or not. Almost all (read: "all") chicks are like that. If they're into a guy, they will do things that will show him that they're into them. You just have to step back and see for yourself if she does any of that..

Ok, back to the princess bit. Try to understand things from her point of view. If she really wanted to be treated like a princess, she would go out and find an unconfident wuss. Instead, she keeps going back to the guy that gives her excitement. He's not some boring dude that sits around waiting on her hand and foot. No, he's a confident, arrogant bastard. She likes the confidence. She likes the ego. What she doesn't like is him treating her like crap.

So you walk in.. there's something about you that she likes, otherwise she wouldn't have taken the time to hunt down your number and text you. She wouldn't have invited you to the parade. Read between the lines here man, she's into you, but you're too busy being a wuss to stand up and go after her. By this time, you're getting pretty close to falling into the "Friend Zone". You don't want to go there - there are things in that place that no man should ever see.

And, seriously, the only time you get a chick a princess shirt and a tiara is if you're going to tease her. Once you start getting down on your knees and kissing her feet then you'll be lost forever. Man up.

Alright, your questions.

Yes, she's interested. That should be obvious.

Where should you go? I would suggest a local sports pub; or anywhere that will give you a good dose of testosterone. She started coming on to you, you got scared and backed away. Now it's time to man up and go find your confidence again. So she has a boyfriend - big deal. If it was serious then he wouldn't treat her like crap and she wouldn't all up on you. They aren't going to last, so forget about him. If you keep sitting back second guessing yourself then you'll never know if she likes you or not. You'll end up in the "Friend Zone", and then it's "Game Over". Do whatever it was that you did to attract her to you in the first place. Chicks love confidence. Tease her a little, make her laugh, show her that you aren't afraid of her..

...and if it doesn't work out? So what. You'll have gained a little experience and know better what to do next time. I would say something about millions of fish in the sea, but hell, you already know that. Just go and do what needs to be done.

Jim on December 20, 2011:

Basically.. A few weeks ago, this girl switched into one of my classes. Anyways, I am friends with most of her friends and one of her best friends. The next day, which was a Friday, I got a random text from a number I didn't know and it turned out to be her. I guess she'd gotten my number from friends; anyways, she invited me to this Parade thing that Saturday, so I went. Her best friend and another mutual friend of ours went. Not too much happened, we just went to lunch after and hung out for a bit. The next day we got together to work on schoolwork with other friends. Few days later, we played the question game. She asked me what I look for in a girl, and also said that it feels like we've known each other for so much more than just a week. Also, when I see her in the halls she always hugs me pretty tightly and/or says Hi/Bye, she also texts me a lot. When I see her in the halls, sometimes she'll just bump into me and keep walking, and in class we are constantly just laughing or smiling (I sit next to her), it's always a fun time in class! But then, I found out she had a boyfriend and they've been together for over a year, off and on. Recently a friend of mine told me that he treats her pretty badly especially around his friends and she said that they don't even act like a real couple. No spark or something. Anyways, i'm so confused right now.. I really like her, we get along so well, and it's incredibly easy to talk to her and act myself around her. But this dilemma; I have no idea what to do! Yesterday apparently he did something and made her cry, and she hasn't talked to me since it happened (she said she'd tell me but hasn't yet). I called her last night after my game and left a message.. anyways I guess i'll just wait for her to tell me if she ever does. My biggest question is whether or not she's interested in me and why she is still with this asshole. I'd do anything to get her eventually; wait, not wait, whatever. Also she said once to someone that she wanted to be treated like a princess for once.. I was thinking about just getting her this shirt and this cheap tiara for Christmas; just to hint that I'd treat her like one! GIVE ME INPUT AND ADVICE! If the questions I need to know were unclear, here are a few. Does she like me? How should I go from here? I left out a lot of info in the thing because I ran out of space... but you get the idea. Oh also every time we talk she does get really close and just looks straight into my eyes, unless we're laughing in which case we just both laugh. Also, our moms met and apparently she told her mom about me (not sure what she said, but I think she just said I was smart and took hard classes and i'm also half korean, like her..). And at this meeting thing for school, my best friend was there and she asked me if we were good friends and I said yes. Next day, he tells me that she tries to talk to him about me but he didn't realize it until after and he just kinda left. It was the first time she talked to him this year. I guess if she's talking about me that's good but I still feel weird with this boyfriend; she usually talks to me all of the time but I haven't talked to her for a day or two so far; I guess i'll keep waiting till Monday when I see her. A Thanks for the advice/input; i'll be awaiting your reply! Im thinking Of not doing the tiara thing since she has a boyfriend though. Goes against my morals. Anyways yeah it seems like she's not as into me as when we first met but who knows, uh so confused.

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on November 22, 2011:

Alright Vicki, I kinda figured that you were a chick. If some random dude named Vicki started talking to me about his shrunken "mud flaps", I think I'd have to lay him out. It just makes me think of some bad Johnny Cash song.

...moving on...

So think about it this way; the typical guy always tries his hardest to impress chicks. Always. Even if the chick is dog-ugly, he's still got his game on. He'll tell you whatever he thinks you want to hear. Right there is the problem - what he thinks you want to hear and what he says are two different things.

He'll tell you about how many chicks that he's been with because he thinks you'll be impressed - if he's been with that many, he should be a catch, right? Not so much.. Chances are he caught something, but we won't mention that here.

He'll tell you that he's got nine inches and he knows how to use it because, well, that's all he thinks about. 'Nuff said.

If he's interested in you then there's going to be some awkward conversations - especially if he's young and inexperienced. If these guys you're hanging out with are older, it's time to pick a new crowd. The more guys mature, the more they learn how to play the game. At some point, they realize that it's not a game anymore and that's when they can start to appreciate serious relationships.

On the other hand... it could just be you. If this happens all the time then you need to take a look at yourself. If you're the type that always tries to fix other people's problems - stop. Grow some chick-balls and assert yourself. Next time some guy starts telling you about that then calmly pull out your paint-ball gun, point it at his manhood, and fire. Remember to smile as you do it, guys love confident women. Seriously, if you allow it, it'll just keep happening.

The bottom line is this: If the guy/chick you're dating turns you off, move on. There's millions of people out there, and at least one of them will "get" you.

vicki on November 21, 2011:

Okay, random question. I'm female of course, but why does the opposite sex tend to tell me everything that females wouldn't usually hear about. I understand asking for advice, but telling me about their sexual experience, personal down there things, dreams, etc. They tell me anything and aren't ashamed. It's like they think I can answer anything and can help but I'm just another girl.

Do they not notice that I'm a girl or like just that comfortable with telling me anything?

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on November 13, 2011:

Moses... rule #1 about dating: If the chick already has a guy, leave her the hell alone. I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and it wasn't a good thing.

Look at it this way.. So the chick has a guy that she's been seein' for awhile, then she meets you. She's interested. You're all up on cloud 9. Everything's going great.. so, you decide to take it to the next level. Good. Great. You two date for a few weeks.. but then, well, she meets another dude and the process is repeated again - only this time, you're the one who gets screwed.

Thing is, if a chick dumps another guy for you, she'll do the same thing to you later on. Sure, there's those rare exceptions, but they're extremely rare. It's always better to find someone who's not attached and save yourself a lot of heartache in the end. Now if you're just looking to hook up...well, that's another story.

Beyond that, it sounds like you've already entered the "friends" zone. That's a bad place to be, especially if you're into this chick.

So, you only have two questions to ask yourself: How hot are her friends and are any of the hot ones single?

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on November 12, 2011:

Jones, man, it's really no different than grade school, but just on a more "grown-up" level. You chase the chick, she falls down screaming something like, "I've got cooties", while all the time still laughing.. At that time, she was "pretend" afraid.

Flash forward a bit.. Alright, you two play around a bit - you tease her a bit, she playfully punches your arm - but when it comes down to it, she's afraid to admit her feelings. It's that fear of rejection thing going on again.. most people have it - it's just the way it is. Once you get over it then you'll never be without a date.

Getting back to this chick, take a step back and ask yourself, "Does she like me?" If everyone around you notices it and asks if you two are dating, well hell, it sounds like she's into you. Take her out somewhere nice and when the opportunity seems right, slip her a little tongue. If you don't get slapped, you're in the clear. If you do, quit worrying about it and get on with life. There's a million other chicks out there just waitin'..

JONES on November 12, 2011:

My problem is jst like mr Head's, there s ths chick and i'm truly in lv wth her but she is my friend and afraid of me also, she never askd me of a chick that ppl claim we are dating, rather whn they say it out 2 her she gets bored. does she lv me?

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on November 09, 2011:

Mr Head... I've always loved the shy girls. Innocent, sweet, and easy to tease. Once they warm up a bit, they're usually a lot of fun to be around - and they tend to go wild in certain areas, if you know what I mean... If you're into her then don't hold back. Usually, shy chicks seem more "afraid" of the guys they like, but it's usually the fear of rejection.

My old man always told me, finding a chick is a lot like buying a sweater. You try one on to see if it fits and looks good. If not, you put it back and go on to the next. After trying a few on then eventually you'll find the right one that just fits.

Lady M on October 28, 2011:

Has the hugest, silliest crush on my tutor and I smile all the time even when i think im over the crush. so i guess thats a good sign

friday on September 15, 2011:

all have a type depends on he personality for me

juliancreative from cape cod ,massachuttes on July 02, 2011:

hi good dateing advice,really easy to understand for all readers.good article.

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on December 10, 2010:

Yes.. I finished my coffee, and read my paper, so I'm all good now. :)

I believe that if one just simply takes the time to look around, they'll start noticing things that they've never seen before. When it comes to dating, it's not that complicated. In fact, if you go into it with the simplicity of a child I believe that you'll have a lot better experiences - and that goes for all relationships. People try to make things bigger than they are, but it's just life - plain and simple.

Joy56 on December 10, 2010:

Just learned so much about the female psyche. Wish i would have read this years ago, i may have understood myself. Did you finish the coffee yet??????????????

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on November 25, 2010:

brakel2, I wish your daughter the best of luck! Dating can be extremely complicated, but at the same time uniquely simple. I believe that it is all in what you make it. I'm sure she'll find the perfect man.. It's always good on here to hear from a fellow Oklahoman!

Sonic, that's the key: Simplicity. It always takes a few hard bumps to the noggin to figure these points out, but once the lessons are learned, you can spot attraction from a mile away.. If you never try, you'll never learn. -I was once shy myself.. I know, hard to believe.. but once I got out there and just tried, I realized that it really isn't all that bad.

Passthejelly, As always, it's easier said than done.. But, as they say, knowledge is power. The more you know about dating, the more successful you'll be.

Meteoboy, Body language is important in all aspects of life - not just dating. If you can gauge how a client reacts, you can tailor your proposal to them.. -and so on. I believe that highly successful people understand more about body language than most. It's that "unspoken voice" that moves the world.

Thanks all for the comments! I've been offline, so apologies for the late responses..

meteoboy from GREECE on November 24, 2010:

I agree that the body language is the most important indicator ( like eye contact), that one man can see into her soul. Truly a unique hub. Truly a unique hub for all people and more for the men. Thank you .

oladipupo omotayo on October 25, 2010:

about dating girl

Mark Passarelli from Lakewood Colorado on September 14, 2010:

This stuff is so complicated... but looks so uncomplicated on paper (lol) Nice hub!

Sonic241928 on August 30, 2010:

Awesome hub. Perhaps the thing I appreciate most about it is how you emphasize the SIMPLICITY of attraction. Most of us--especially those of us who are shy and/or bitter about dating because of rejection--build up attraction and sexual interest to be some huge, monstrous, unattainable thing in our minds when it's really not.

Audrey Selig from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma on April 28, 2010:

I love this hub. My daughter is on the dating scene, and I hear all sorts of stories from her. You seem to have it all figured out and have a good attitude and great writing skills. Thanks for sharing. from a fellow Oklahoman

Eric Standridge (author) from Oklahoma on January 19, 2010:

Thanks Sa Toya! So far, I'm enjoying the hublife. :D

It just always amazes me when guys go out looking for some magical formula that will end all their woes. It just doesn't work like that. Everyone is different, and yet, everyone is the same. I think it's all about your attitude and outlook on life. Either the person is interested, or they aren't - why worry about it? If they're not, then move on and get on with life..

Thanks for the comment. :)

Sa Toya from England on January 19, 2010:

Loved this...especially the bit about as worthless s a plot in a porn...so true so true.

Being female I agree all girls are different and your gut is the best source for any inclination.

Welcome to the hublife x

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